Dear Journal…
Today, ten years ago, was the day my world, as I knew then, ended. I still remember that fateful day. The sun was shining bright overhead. The sky was clear, and not a single cloud was above. It was a beautiful clear day. The warmth from the sun felt excellent against the cold bite of the winter breeze. There were people walking their dogs or bustling from home to work like clockwork. I waved to some of my neighbors, whom I had grown accustomed to when I moved in with my girlfriend. I was walking to my job at the SugarCube Corner, a job I much enjoyed. Coffee in hand, as always. Black coffee was my go-to, as my girlfriend knew. I had awoken that day, thinking that everything was going to be okay. That there would be no tragedies. I was wrong.
As I walked into the shop, the bell ringing behind me as it always did, I set my bag down on the counter. The smell of freshly baked cakes, muffins, and cookies wafted at me. Inhaling, I smiled. The scent always reminded me of home. Though it had been years since I last visited my home town, it wasn't like I had much reason to these days, my mom and dad had passed a few years earlier. Celestia, I remember coming out to them. Heh, they didn't take it that well, that much I remember for sure. They screamed at me to leave, and I haven't been back since. Not that I wanted to go back. Canterlot City was where my beautiful girlfriend was, and that was where I wanted to be. In the back area, I could hear the usual sounds of my boss baking away. That seemed to be her passion, and she was the reason I had decided to work on my career in the baking industry. I was about to grab my apron like I always did before I joined my boss in the kitchen. I got a call on my phone. Thinking it was my girlfriend complaining that her dog, Spike, had chewed through another pair of shoes – something he did a bit too often for my taste – I answered. But the voice on the other end wasn't Twilight. It was the police.
"Are you Miss Shimmer?" asked the officer on the other end. Their voice was calm, which contradicted my worried composure. Though, I could barely hear it over my increasing heartbeat.
"Yeah, I am," I answered, trying to keep my voice calm. "What's this about?"
The next words out of the officer's mouth were barely audible as I struggled to comprehend what I was hearing. Thinking back now, I guess I just didn't want to believe them. I didn't want to believe that could happen.
"Ma'am, you're girlfriend has been shot. We're taking her to the hospital now," replied the officer, making my world turn upside down as she uttered the words I never wanted to hear.
My phone had clattered to the floor, the case cracking off upon impact. The sound echoed around me as I heard the news. My beloved Twilight was injured. She was being taken to the hospital so I knew I had to go there immediately. Thankfully, my boss at the time, Pinkie Pie, was understanding and let me leave that day. Without grabbing my bag, I ran out of the door. The cold air around me stung my lungs as I breathed heavily. I was never much for exercise, much less running. So, I was a bit out of shape. But that didn't stop me. I was determined to make it to the hospital, even if I collapsed from lack of oxygen. Which, at this point, seemed likely. After turning a few corners, getting lost a few times, and jumping over a fence or two to save time, I made it to the hospital.
Not slowing down, I pushed past crowds of people. There were jumbled conversations all around me. They were all drowned out as my heartbeat louder in my ears. I didn't care about what they were conversing about. No. I wanted to know I still had my girlfriend here with me. Looking around, I noticed that we're large groups of huddled family members. Some were weeping softly amongst themselves as they sat in the waiting room. I guess they were the unlucky few. I prayed my girlfriend wasn't among them. It seemed that my girlfriend was one of many injured in a mass shooting. I remember that being said on the news as the video showed the sight of where it occurred. Of course, today of all days, there had to be a mass shooting at the place my girlfriend worked. The place it happened at was Sparkle Labs. My girlfriend has spent her life working to make that company, to better improve the lives of the unfortunate. That was one of the many things that made me appreciate the wonder she was. But at the time, my only concern was my girlfriend. As I rushed over to the main desk, my shirt stuck to me with sweat and breathing heavily, I asked the one question that had been in my mind the entire time I ran here.
"Where's my girlfriend?" The words came out of me fast and jumbled. I didn't mean for them to, but at the time, it couldn't be helped.
The lady at the desk looked at me. "You're Miss Shimmer, aren't you?"
"Yes!" I shouted accidentally. Worrying about my girlfriend's life made me a bit more on edge than normal. After apologizing for shouting at her, I said, "Yes, I am. Do you know where she is?"
The lady nodded. "Yes, she is in surgery right now. You can wait in the waiting room until the doctor is done."
I went to say something, but I decided not to. After all, it wasn't her fault that the hospital was swamped now. Walking into the waiting room, it was now that I realized just how crowded it was. There were no seats, all had been taken by families who had gotten here quicker than me. So I sat on the floor, not really minding it. The coolness of the tiles felt good against my hot skin. Sitting down was a relief. But a small one at that. I was soon lost in my thoughts about all the things that could have gone wrong with Twilight's surgery. Maybe the doctor's hand could twitch and snip something vital causing her to die. Maybe she'll die just as they wheel her into the room because she bled out internally. Or maybe she will die just as I say hi. The last one was my mind losing its sanity as I did a downward spiral into a complete panic. Those minutes sitting there were the longest minutes ever. I swear, that time had slowed to a complete stop at some point. Though, I don't really remember for sure. I was too lost in my panic to notice if that had actually happened.
The worst part was that I was all alone in the waiting. Rarity, now having gotten her desired fame as a fashion designer, was in Europe showing off her latest outfits. I was happy for her. She finally achieved what she had worked so hard for. Still, despite her growing fame, she still visits us. Sadly though, she had to shut down the Carousel Boutique after it had become run down and no longer able to be repaired. I still have some of the last outfits she ever made there before it was closed permanently.
And her girlfriend, Applejack, while still in town, now owned Sweet Apple Acres. Granny Smith had died peacefully in her sleep two years before the shooting happened. Applebloom had left before that happened, as she was attending college along with the rest of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. I still remember the funeral for Granny Smith. The whole population for Canterlot City came. There was even a statue made for her gravesite by Madame Mayor. It was a dark time then. But Applejack and her family got through, as did the rest of the city. Now Sweet Apple Acres was bigger than ever. Last I heard, they partnered with another big name farm in China to help expand it.
Fluttershy, oh my sweet dear friend. How I miss you. She sadly died after she got a disconcerting cancer diagnosis. I vaguely remember her breaking the news to us all when she found out she only had three months max left to live. All I can recall is me and Twilight holding her all night after that. The last three months we had with her were bittersweet. To this day, I still recall her sitting in the bland hospital room, with all of us standing around her bed. The awful stench of rubbing alcohol burning my throat. She at the time, was thin, pale and very frail. Rainbow Dash always struggled to hold her or even hug her. We all did as we were afraid of breaking her. But the worst and yet still sweet memory I have is me as I watched the light fade from her sweet angelic eyes as she passed from this to the next. Sweet Celestia, I will never be able to forget that. It was hard to lose her. It hit us all very hard.
None harder than our friend –and Fluttershy's then-girlfriend – Rainbow Dash. Oh Celestia, if I had known the pain she felt, maybe I could have helped her. Sadly, two months after we had finished burying Fluttershy and saying our goodbyes, we found out she had slit her own throat. That had made the Canterlot News front page, shocking everyone in the city. She was in line to be the new captain of the city's soccer team, the Wonderbolts. It was her biggest dream. The one she was most passionate about. When the news broke, it was the day of the team's last game before the Finals. They said they would win the game in honor of their best player. And that they did. I remember celebrating with the girls, sitting at her house for the final time. Now that I look back, I realized that she had acted differently. She stopped eating, stopped hanging out with us, even eventually stopped contacting us all together. I am sorry Dash. I wish I could have stopped you from taking your own life…
Finally, after I dwelled on my loneliness, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was now that I had noticed that it was close to the evening time. The sun was beginning to slowly set on the horizon. Pushing my thoughts about the last 20 years of my life, I took a deep breath. As I wiped my cheeks, I realized I had started to cry. Guess I should've realized that when my thoughts try to drown me in sadness. Looking up, I saw it was a nurse. She was tired, I could tell by the black lines under her eyes. She looked worse than me, and I was covered in sweat and tears. My hair was now a tangled mess, also coated in my sweat. I look like I had just finished a desert marathon. But, she had me beat. It seemed she hadn't gotten any sleep and the mass shooting had kept her busier than ever. Standing up, I prepared myself to hear the worst.
"H-how is she?" I asked, voice trembling.
"She is stable for now. But…" The nurse trailed off, making my anxiety worse. I wanted her to continue, to hit with the hard news. She finally continued after a few moments of agonizing waiting. "She will be unable to survive maybe more than an hour or more. The bullet grazed her aorta, leaving irreversible damage. The doctor did what she could, but she couldn't do more."
I started to cry again. The one person whom I loved, had shared my life with, had supported me was now going to be gone in less than two hours. I looked at the nurse, teary-eyed, lip quivering, just becoming a huge sobbing mess.
"I am sorry." She pointed down the hallway to my right. "Two doors down, on the right side."
I watched her walk away, leaving me to go greet my dying girlfriend alone. I didn't blame her though. If I had to tell someone's loved ones that they were going to die despite all efforts to prevent it, I wouldn't want to be present either. With tears rolling down my face, I made the trek to Twilight's room. My feet felt heavy, like two bags of bricks attached to my legs. It was hard to walk to her room, knowing that in a few hours, she would no longer be with me. But I did it because I knew I had to say goodbye to her. I wasn't going to forgive myself if I didn't. I don't really remember the walk there. The walls all seem to look the same to me, not that I was making an effort to notice their differences. Finally, after a while, I reached her door. I peered in, wondering what I was going to see.
In the bed, was my girlfriend. But she was pale and looked nothing like she did when I had kissed her goodbye this morning. Her glasses were also neatly sitting on the dresser beside the bed. I always thought she looked adorable with them on. Even though it always seemed to annoy her. I tried my hardest to keep my sniffling as quiet as it could be. As I stood in the doorway, I saw her open her eyes. They were glossy like she was crying herself. She smiled at me, the same smile she always gave me when she knew I was sad and wanted to cheer me up.
"H-hey Sparky." My voice quivered as I spoke through my broken sobs.
"Come here." Her voice was soft and weak. I could tell she was there, but fading as time went on. I walked in and sat on the bed next to her. As I did that, I felt her hand grab mine. It was clammy and cold, so alien to me. I could tell she had maybe an hour at most left in her. I met her gaze, trying in vain to hide my wet cheeks. "Are you okay?"
I shook my head. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?"
Twilight chuckled weakly at my lame attempt to make a joke. "Yeah, I guess you should be." She squeezed my hand comfortingly. Oh Celestia, how I miss her touch now. Anyway, I smiled back at her when she did that. "You heard the news, didn't you?" she asked, knowing why I was there.
"Yeah…" I looked away, not wanting to see her eyes dull in front of me. Though, I could already tell she was slowly fading. Their beautiful violet color was now faded, hidden by the grey color of death. "I did."
"So, is that why your beautiful eyes are hidden behind this waterfall of tears?" She asked as she wiped a few of my tears away. I closed my eyes, leaning into her touch, even though it was weak. I could tell it was weakening as the minutes ticked by. I nodded, no longer able to speak. "Can you lay next to me one last time, my beautiful Sunset?"
I did. As I leaned back, I felt her arm wrap around my shoulders. Her body was warm, but only barely. The clamminess made her seem much colder. Though, it may have also been because death was coming closer to pulling her away from my me. I looked at her as I kissed her cheek, knowing this was the last kiss we'd likely share. I stared out the window that was in front of her bed. I think the doctor wanted us to have one last good moment together. And for that, I thank her. Because, as I laid there for the previous 40 minutes with Twilight, I was happy and peaceful despite the tears running down my face. I can recall the previous sunset we both watched together as if it just happened. The sky was painted with oranges, reds, blues, purples, and pinks. It was like the heavens were welcoming Twilight home and letting me know she was going to be okay. It was so beautiful. And when I looked at my girlfriend, ten minutes before she passed, she looked like a goddess in front of her. Taking the last chance I had, I sat up and kissed her. She kissed me back, wrapping her hands around my neck. After a few minutes, we broke the kiss.
Staring into her eyes, I saw them fading quickly. Her hands had fallen to her side, her body already too weak to keep them around me. Her skin was also becoming very cold, ice cold. The last thing she said to me before her last breath exited her chest was, "Shine brightly, my beautiful Sunset. Shine for me so that I may see you up in the heavens."
That was ten years ago today. As I sit here writing this, I feel her standing next to me, her hand on my shoulder. The sun is setting as well, making the sky look precisely like it that day all those years ago. And I do as she asked me to. I now own my bakery in the city. Thanks to the help of Pinkie Pie. I have named it Sparky N' Shimmer's Bakery in her honor. I love working there, mostly because that is where I shine. And whenever I feel low, I remember her last words to me. Well, that is all journal. I have nothing left today. I just wanted to remember the one person who made me realize that life is fleeting, but the memories you have and the impact the person has stays with you. Death pulls their physical body from you, but their heart is forever with yours.
So, with this, I have one last thing to say.
Goodbye, my beloved Sparky... May Celestia watch over you.
Author's Note
Hey, guys! Hopefully, you like this little fic I wrote. I wrote it to explain the mortality and the finality of death. And how we cope with it in different ways. I also wanted to show that despite the loss that death brings, it doesn't take away everything. I also wanted to try something different than my previous story, branch out. Let me know what you think of it. Have a good day(or night😉)!
