Hyrulequestria

Ch.87

The flight through the snowed-in canyon in Dark World went quickly and peacefully up until we reached a point where the canyon suddenly opened up into a massive wide box canyon with an ominous black Romanesque temple that was clearly the Arbiter’s Grounds from Twilight Princess.

Gleaming wisely decided to fly up to the small cliff opposite the temple, and had Jalha pop us back to Hyrule. It was wise because when we did, we discovered that indeed the whole canyon was filled with undead. “That is a lot of opposition.” Jewel commented and turned towards the back of the cliff where the mountain continued upwards, running a ghostly hand over the stone. “Hold on.”

“Ah! Jewel?” Jalha asked after the greyed purple-furred old dog took her off, and the middle-aged to elder dog began using her claws to quickly burrow into a fracture in the rock wall, opening up a small cave.

“I can hide here. You use Jalha to get through this place.” Jewel picked Jalha back up and handed her over to Gleaming and I. “As fun as it’s been so far, I’m tired, an old dog needs her sleep.”

“Okay, Jewel, we’ll make sure to come to get you before heading home,” I told her as Gleaming raised Jalha to-. “W-wait Gleam-!” The next thing I knew, I was floating, like I usually did, but this time I was full-size and didn’t have my fairy wings. “Um, Gleamy? Did you just put Jalha on me and she turned us both into her?” I should be fine, considering I wore Volvagia for the longest time in Tartarus and haven’t changed a bit, but what could this do to Gleaming?

“I guess so. That'll save us some time, maybe we should do this for all future dungeons?” Gleaming suggested as Jewel squeezed into her temporary den and quickly curled up to sleep.

“Yay~ I get to make us all Go Ghost!” Jalha cheered, causing me to flinch violently.

“Wait, where did you hear that?!” I demanded, my metaphorical heart pounding.

“Hear what?” Gleaming asked in bemusement.

“That phrase! It’s something from my world!” I informed them in shock.

“Huh? Oh! You’re from one of those really weird worlds without magic huh?” Jalha casually replied. “I’ve poked my head into a few of those, but I’m almost nonexistent in those places, so I just watched and-.”

“YOU COULD SEND ME HOME!” I excitedly gushed.

“Huh?!” Both Jalha and Gleaming asked at the same time.

“No, wait, nevermind. Sorry. This is my home now, right...” As much as it hurts, as much as I would like to visit my mother, I don’t think she would recognize me anyway. “Let’s just get in there. I’m not used to piloting other people’s bodies, so could you two handle this?”

“Sure thing.” We turned invisible and flew silently over the teeming hordes of Stalfos, Gibdos, Redeads, the giant zombie hand Floormasters, Poes, the Stalchildren, the list just went on and on. This was genuinely an army of evil, unfeeling, bloodthirsty monsters. Aside from the Stalfos, the rest seemed mostly mindless, only following directives from their Stalfos commanders.

Thanks to Jalha’s powers, we made it to the front gate unaccosted, until we reached the two Stalfos at the gate. One was a tall sword-and-shield wielding one with plate armor, the other the stouter spiked great mace type, wearing a leather armor coat and...are those leather slippers? “Halt! These eye sockets do spy a Poe approaching! What’s the password?” The tall one said with a familiar nasally voice, similar to Skeletor from He-Man, but much kinder.

“Papyrus?!” I asked in shock. He sounded exactly like the fandub!

“Nyeh-heh-heh! That isn’t the password this time silly! The Great Papyrus learned not to use his name for the password the last time!” Papyrus replied cheerfully.

“Yeah, Bro doesn’t want to be boned again.” Replied the other one with penguinz0’s voice!

“NYEH! Stop that Sans! It wasn’t funny the last three times!” Papyrus complained.

“Oh, it seems you have a bone to pick with me.” Sans snickered at his horrible joke, while Jalha, Gleaming, or me, hell, I’m a sucker for bad puns, started laughing. “Oh no, the ghost can’t breathe, I guess they’ll die.”

“Your bone puns are bad enough Sans! Ugh. Whatever, clearly you forgot the password, so instead, you must answer my questions three! Nyeh-heh-heh!” Papyrus cackled.

“Sure.” We chuckled.

“What! Is your name?” Papyrus’ tone and the question made me perk up.

“Jalha!” Our Poe mask answered.

“What! Is your quest?” Oh Papyrus, you silly skeleton, you won’t settle for a single reference?

“To seek the commander?” Gleaming questioned-slash-answered.

“What! Is the capital of Assyria?” Papyrus asked the old question and having seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, I actually had an answer.

“Which do you mean, the old capital or the new one?” At the time period of King Arthur, Aššur was the capital, but by modern standards, Nineveh is considered the capital following the dissolution of the Assyrian Empire. Boom! Movie nerd mode is go~!

“What? I don’t know that! NYEH~!” Papyrus was suddenly flung into the air by a spring-loaded tile he was conveniently standing on, sending him crashing into a convenient pile of sand.

“So can we get in?” Jahla asked Sans since he was untouched by the ‘trap’.

“Sure. May give you some help too, this place is so boring.” Sans chuckled as he snapped his fingers and the massive doors opened. “We haven’t had this much fun in centuries.”

“Thanks.” Gleaming giggled as we moved into the temple. “Those two are fun.”

“Yup…” I agreed, looking at the entrance of the Arbiter’s Grounds with concern. This place, it wasn’t just a piece of an old place, it was practically the same, only it was well maintained and not in ruins. “Oh boy. Ladies, we need to be careful. I knew this place like the back of my hand when it was in ruins. I’ll be a better guide, but I’ll be confused by the fact this place isn’t sinking into the sands of the desert.”

“Right,” Gleaming stated as we started floating into the temple, finding the place to be grand in design. “It looks nothing like the outside though.”

“Yeah, it looks like an Egyptian Pyramid inside, and a Roman Colosseum and temple outside,” I replied, keeping an eye out as Gleaming floated us down the hall. It was so surreal, floating through this place and it not having giant sandpits, crumbling stone, and it wasn’t the same as I remembered. Immediately this place proved to be more than just a ruin.

“Let us out!” A Gerudo cried out from her cell which was surrounded by Gibdos. The cell was built into the walls of the hall after the first intersection, which in the game was a giant sand whirlpool. It would seem this place really does function as a prison. Oh, great. I just realized. We’ve gone to two prisons in a row!

“Give it a rest Timogi, save your breath, and energy. Help will come. Queen Nabooru isn’t going to just let these rotting filth be the end of us.” A much calmer Gerudo firmly and calmly declared.

“You say that as if Elder Twinrova hasn’t already tried!” The hysterical lioness by name of Timogi fretted, only to get pulled into a comforting hug from her cellmate.

“We can’t help them right now. Not with all these monsters around. Even if we cleared out the area, this place is surrounded and filled with more. Best leave them be where they’re safe.” I whispered, noticing how reluctant Gleaming or Jalha were in moving further down the hall.

“I thought the undead were killing them. Why take prisoners?” Gleaming asked curiously, and Jalha silently snapped her fingers.

“Necromancy. They’re planning to use those ladies as fuel for making more undead. Done with enough extra body parts, a single living person can make a Poe, Stalfos, and Gibdo all at once. A Poe is a corruption of the soul, a stalfos is a possession of the bones, and a gibdo is a preserved and treated flesh golem with what remains, wrapped in magic cloth until they decay into Redeads.” Jalha way too cheerfully informed us.

“Uh, that’s, um, bad. And disgusting. So undead Monsters aren’t just Dark World denizens?” Gleaming asked queasily, ignoring the women filling the cells along the walls. Each of them could literally act to triple their number on the invasion’s side if they’re not rescued.

“Unlike other Dark Worlders, we’re not exactly natives. We were banished to Dark World for what we were; Monsters. Sure, some of us retained memories, or intelligence, and became more than a mindless, shuffling, life-eating monster. Mostly it’s the Stalfos and Poes who manage that. Show me a Gibdo or Redead with an actual brain and I’ll do my best dullahan parody.” Jalha joked, as if all this death was nothing to balk at, and, considering what she is, it made sense.

“So we’ve gotta get our butts in gear.” I urged us onward, and we entered the central main chamber. It even had the Gerudo representation of Din, a buxom and muscular lioness coiled with serpents all about her. “Wonder if they’d be upset that Din apparently prefers to be small-chested.”

“And short, and petite, and all sorts of deceptive not-powerful things.” Farore informed me with amusement, helping me perk up despite the dire situation.

“So, where to?” Gleaming asked...well, must be me. I activated my Seeker Sight and began leading us into the bowels of the necrotic-tainted temple.

---]===>

“Okay, why are the upper floors perfectly intact, but the basement floor is in shambles?” I complained, kicking yet another Ghoul Rat off of our legs.

“Oh, this is fun!” Poe-Poe chuckled as a black mist consumed the ghostly vermin. “Too bad I can’t eat more than ectoplasm.” The disturbing black Poe stated. Oh, right, he showed up and scared the afterlife out of us, chasing Ghoul Rats and mindless Poes about, slurping them up like they were soul soup or something.

“Great work Mr. Poe-Poe! Oh! I just remembered!” Jalha reached into our cleavage and pulled out a red gem. “Here’s the 20 rupees I owe you!”

“Bitch where’s the interest?” Poe-Poe demanded.

“H-huh?” Jalha asked in confusion.

“I lent you 20 rupees, where’s the 5 rupee intrest you owe me?” Poe-Poe clarified.

“Oh! Right. That thing those little lizards taught you. Here.” Jalha reached into our tits and pulled out a blue gem which Poe-Poe swiped along with the red gem.

“Good. I was going to make you three my bitches if you didn’t remember to pay up. Bye~!” Poe-Poe mocked as he faded away into nothingness.

“Why is that man so powerful?” I asked in annoyance and concern before guiding us over to a Big Chest in the corner away from the quicksand.

“Oh! OH! I feel it! I actually feel it this time!” Farore commented to me as I let Gleaming open the Big Chest, the green light shining brighter than usual, and she took out...the Map. “Ah~ that is unexpectedly satisfying! I think I’ll bless more random loot containers!”

---]===>

“I can get used to this,” Gleaming commented as we floated by a few more undead soldiers, totally visible too. None of them did more than look at us like we were a simple oddity, which, considering we’re a busty female Poe wearing a tight yellow belly shirt and a yellow miniskirt, I’d say we fit the bill considering how dull, dour, and dead this place is.

“Get used to what?” Jalha asked as Gleaming followed the Map and Compass through the prison/temple.

“Not getting attacked. You were the perfect companion for this part of the quest Jalha.” Gleaming praised, and Jalha shimmied our body in pure happiness.

“Girls. I get you’re having a bit of fun, but please, lives are at stake here.” I complained as we continued down the halls of the basement level, heading for the next Big Chest.

“Hey, belly dancer, got some hearts for yah,” Sans said, walking around the corner ahead of us while holding a full heart container, his spiked iron club nowhere to be seen. “Well, I'm heartless, so I had to borrow this one.”

“Oh! Thanks Sans! We haven’t even found Pieces of Heart! Apparently the Goddesses think they’re outdated, but thanks to that, Gleaming got taken out by a single attack before.” I grumbled as I accepted the gold and red cartoon-heart shaped crystal. Um, how do we use it?

“To be fair, the guy literally had super strength, and that axe was bigger than we are right now.” Gleaming defended her and Tirek’s honor.

“Heh, I have a whole shop of them. Been taking shortcuts all over.” Sans chuckled. “But hey, I’m heartless so I could keep them.”

“You’re trying too hard.” I pouted, this wasn’t like Sans, to fumble on a pun.

“Oh, have a heart would ya?” I couldn’t contain the snicker at that one. Damn it Sans! You totally set that one up!

“Okay, well, how do we use it? Or, rather, how do I use it?” Gleaming asked as she hugged the massive yet almost weightless crystal to Jalha’s D-cup bosom.

“Just a bit-.” Sans was interrupted by the crystal shattering, and I don’t know about the other girls, but I felt amazing! “-of a squeeze.”

“I feel like I can fight Resplendent again! Holy Farore! You have more?!” Gleaming gushed excitedly, actually getting our shared face a few inches away from the short skeleton’s skull.

“They cost Rupees though. I don’t care for the silly money you light-worlders use. Rupees always have a set value, no matter what.”

“Okay, how much?” I asked.

“Two hundred for one,” Sans told us.

“Good thing Tirek and I smashed all those pots!” Gleaming dug both hands into our cleavage, pulling up handfuls of gems. “HIT ME!”

---]===>

“I can’t believe you had 1200 Rupees just from smashing pots in a forgotten temple.” I chuckled in amusement. “The fact Sans had to count all the Rupees because you had so many in small value may have taken a while, but dang if it wasn’t funny watching him try not to accidentally miscount.”

“It was all worth it. To feel this, I don’t know how to really describe it. Well? Hale?” Gleaming questioned as she led us towards an ominous door, one with a giant cleaver engraved in it.

“Hearty?” I snickered at my horrible pun, then suddenly had to stop us. “Oh no. I was hoping this thing wasn’t going to be here.”

“What is it?” Jalha asked as Gleaming stuffed the Map and Compass into our cleavage.

“It’s hard to explain. Imagine a super Poe. Only unlike Poe-Poe, it’s a mindless shrieking monstrosity intent on chopping you in half.” I informed them, taking a cleansing breath. “Okay Gleaming. It’s all up to you and Jalha, especially since you can’t turn into a wolf with an imp riding your back.”

“Huh?” Gleaming was interrupted by me leading us into the room.