I never had a reason to look up when I commandered the Storm King airships, not that they had much in the ways of windows. It was always looking down, at least when I wasn't deep inside. But now I've started to like the mostly blue skies above everypony, especially the night sky. It's the candid and banal, the everyday life really, where beauty can be found. And the Manehatten autumn sky paints a very peculiar image that I quite fancy.
The ponies of Equestria accepted me after all I had done. I got a job making stage props and now live in a quiet apartment in a trendy neighborhood. I even met a stallion who doesn't seem to mind my baggage. Or maybe Monochrome Refract somehow doesn't know? No matter. We always manage to bump into each other and he seems friendly. Remind me again of why was I ever scared?
I turned the corner and walked through a more crowded street. 'Crowded' being a relative term as few ponies want to go out in this weather. The cold pokes you, it even bites sometimes. But not so much that you need to cover up, only enough that you wished you did.
I made no effort to hide my broken horn, which caught the attention of a few ponies who have not yet forgiven me. No matter, they have every right to be angry with me, given that I tried to enslave them and all. The horn situation is actually good for me since I can pull off the mysterious badass look. Anyways, Twilight mentioned that there are spells to fix the horn and that she would take a look through her library. She said that a while ago, didn't she? The ponies of Equestria, they accepted me *too* easily. You don't suppose it was too good to be true, do you?
A cafe was up ahead. I was heading to nowhere in particular, but the excuse I gave myself to leave the house was to get a drink. Some caffeine from a warm coffee would do me good, and the small establishment where all the students go was quickly becoming my second home. That being said, while it had room to sit, I would prefer to keep moving, so a drink to go it is.
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I've made a game out of counting how many ponies do double takes in my presence. I think that unicorn in the corner did. Probaby. If I count that, then I should count the barista. I could tell she was just dying to ask me something.
Back on my journey through the cold cityscape, armed with nothing but mostly empty bag and warm coffee for sustenance. I am a wandering nomad, where will my legs take me next?
I bumped into Monochrome. Is he going to the same cafe I only just left? It was still in sight.
"Hey whats up Fizzlepop." the pegasus said. I still didn't care much for the name.
I smiled. "Hey Monochrome whats up? I was just on my way to the park."
"I was actually just taking a stroll as well. I was on my way home though, I remembered my boss told me its only going to get colder the next few days."
Contrary to the name, Monochrome was full of color. Sure his fur was gray like a rain cloud, but his mane had all the colors of the rainbow. Like seemingly all pegasi, he worked at the weather factory, which was a job that gave certain perks including but not limited to more exact temperature and weather readings. I think he said that his job was to find ways to more efficiently make rainbows, which makes me wonder how difficult rainbows are, as they never seem to be around in this dreary weather.
I gave an exaggerated shrug. "Shame, I think its quite nice out."
He looked down, let out a short laugh, and then went back to my eyes "We aren't all built like you I guess. I mean that in a good way."
I have him a playful smirk. A moment passed, then Monochrome continued.
"Any plans this weekend?"
I got him now. I looked up and wondered for a second before I replied.
"No, not that I can think of."
He perked up. I had to supress my excitement.
"Well, you told me you liked stargazing, do you want to go stargazing tomorrow night with me?"
And just like that, I got a date. Everything fell into place.
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The date was horrible. No, it was great, but something went wrong. It has been over a week and its all I can keep in mind because like a broken record it keeps playing in my mind.
We met outside the city as planned. On the hill we gazed at the stars and we chatted, neither of us knowing the time, but the air was cool and the world calm. When the conversation lulled, there was not a sound to be heard.
There is a bit of gray area as to what constitutes a date, but we had already hung out together and got to know eachother a couple times. This time, we were all alone. This is the third 'date' we've been on, but the first capital-D Date.
"I need to leave. I swear I mean it this time." he told me.
"Oh, I understand." I said coolly. Did I come across as uninterested? Impossible, we were on a date. But what if...
He looked up one more time and said 'Lets make our way towards my house.' And we made our way to his house, stopping in the park and again at the bridge to keep chatting. In the dead of the night, it was only us. There was also the occasional drunk pony, but that was more akin to a piece of scenery that we laughed at than somepony who could bother us.
On the bridge overlooking the river in moonlight, we would not stop talking. Nopony had ever connected with me like he did. It was like anything I said made perfect sense to him and nopony else in Equestria understood me before and I was only now realizing it. That was it, I was lovesick.
But that night I trudged home alone. What happened? I know what I said, I know the entire conversation by heart. But what did I do wrong? To be alive and to keep walking this city alone, that is the real curse.
Alright, enough with the melodrama. Now that I got that out of my system, it is time get back to business.
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It has been a full month since the failed date. How often did I see that pegasus before the incident? I would estimate that we encountered each other about once a week on average. An average of zero post-date. Oh, he really was offended, wasn't he? No, he was just shallow and thought a hornless unicorn would be easy pickings. How silly I was for letting him near me, and how foolish he was for thinking that I would go down without a fight.
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Everypony deserves a treat once in a while. I only have one life to live, so no point in holding back. If the Storm King were still around, he would have me court martialed for what I am about to do.
"This potion will let you go on a journey of self discovery." said the scraggly earth pony behind the counter.
I lifted my chin just a tiny bit. "What exactly does that entail?"
"Just a swig will open your mind and let you experience yourself and the world like you never have before. Or you can microdose and be your best self. I do it all the time."
Play it cool Tempest, whats the worst that could happen.
"But have you 'experienced yourself' with this?"
"Oh yeah certainly. I can't describe it, but this potion really let me come to terms with my inner demons. Although I would recommend drinking it with a friend if thats what your trying to do. Good vibes kill demons ya know?"
This all sounds a little too good to be true. But he has my curiosity, so I will indulge him. Furthermore, I did my research. I would just buy the potion right now, but a part of me still has reservations.
"And what about microdosing? You do it all the time? What side effects?"
"Oh there are none. Well, nothing too bad. I dream more often and my dreams become more vivid, and I like that because its like I am actually there and actually fighting the darkness inside. But nightmares are dreams too, I guess. Anyways, just a little bit, a few watered down drops, helps fight negative vibes and helps me go with the flow when I am awake, I'm sure you know what I mean. Everything feels easier is how I would describe it."
The conversation continued, and one thing led to another and I bought the potion from him. After all that, I had to indulge him for his efforts. At this point I will take anything. Just tell me how to recover, and I will do it.
Its been three months since the date and I still think about it everyday. Its fine, just kind of annoying to wake up everyday to my most embarrassing memories. I saw that pegasus a week ago, but I am not sure he saw me. I didn't say anything. That incident stung a bit, but it is my fault so I can't be too mad.
Earlier today I got a letter from Twilight Sparkle. She found a way to grow horns, but it took her longer than expected to find the ingredients. No matter, the potion is ready, and she plans to be here in Manehatten next week to administer the correct dosage. Seeing the signs, I decided to treat myself to a potion of my own. No worries, I did the research.
I was interested primarily in effect the potion had on dreams, so I decided to take a dose before sleeping. That clerk was not joking when he said that the potion let you fight the darkness inside of you. The active ingrediant was a mushroom that is also used in several astral projection rituals and has been used by the ponies of old for ceremonial purposes. Ceremonies to, according to old pony lore, connect with others around them, drive bad spirits away from the community, and to party hard all night. Tonight I was going to take the societally acceptable version of the mushroom not for fun, but instead to better connect with myself.
The last hour before bed had to be relaxing. I read a bit, did some stretches, and drank some herbal tea and that was used to wash down some vitamin and mineral supplements. Did you know that magnesium, among other effects, gives you vivid dreams? The Storm King required a strict diet regiment for all his soldiers, and that often included supplementation. It was simple things like the nutrition seminars and group fitness activities that made it almost, dare I say, fun. Or at least tolerable.
I slapped myself on the the forehead. You absolute idiot, that defeats the purpose of this nightly ritual! I wanted to observe the effects of this so-called wonder potion without outside influence. No matter, things go wrong. It is moments lie these that add just a bit of flair to life. And besides, I only one new variable is being introduced to the equation as my body is used to the strict dietary and supplemental regime.
I went to sleep, and then had a dream.
The cafe was crowded and there I was, sitting down. No, I was somepony else, and I was looking at myself from another body as I entered in through the door. There were two of me, the one sitting down minding her own business, and the one walking to her whose body I was in. Lets call the walking one me, and the sitting one her.
She sat at a bare wooden table. It was light oak, but like everything else in this cafe, it gave off the smell of coffee. Afternoon sunlight was all around us and the world was bright, save for the unknown number of ponies around us, all dressed in brown coats that hid their features. Chatter turned to hushed conversation when I walked to her and stared her down. The world around us blurred into beige. Nothing personal, but I was here to kill her.
Poor her, did she know that she deserved this? What did the sad unicorn expect as I started choking her? She did not meet my gaze.
She resisted. Her limbs were flailing and hitting me, but I felt nothing. Despite this, her struggle worked out. The mare made too much of a scene. Instead, she needed to see reason.
"This is inevitable. You are only prolonging your pain." I said.
Tempest still did not meet my gaze. Her back was on the table and her forehooves held her neck. She looked to my left, looked around for something.
I hit her chest. There was a light thump, barely muffled by fur. The strike was not enough to really hurt her, but it got the message across. It was a sudden decision, one that I decided to follow up on. Her body was picked up and slammed against the same table, by dream me I suppose. I slapped her across her cheek. I was going to choke her again, but all the ponies of Equestria were looking down on me, and so I stopped.
I sat down in front of her line of sight and she looked away.
"You know you will never get rid of the guilt. Do you do everything you can to make up for it? Do you devote every second trying to do better?"
I don't know what she said, and I did not care.
"Do you know what it is like to kill another pony?"
I had tried to reason with her, and I got nothing. Anger washed over my body because of this useless mare. But what did I want with her?
I was following orders when I walked to her. She's a criminal and she needs to pay! But why was I sent to do it? Everybody else accepted her and left her alone, why did I come here to ruin her life? The broken and beaten mare in front of me, was me. But she needs to punishment! No, I think she needs love. Punishment or love? No, it would be punishment and love.
The feeling of being watched faded, and I became strong again. We were alone now, just as nature intended. The maroon mare in front of me was like a lost filly, helpless before me. I had to help her, but some tough love was all I had been taught.
"Here is the deal Tempest. I want true repentance, whether you want it or not. Give yourself up nicely, please, or I will make it difficult for you. I will give you a second to get ready."
She was crying onto the table. A soft whimper. Was she-was I- really that weak?
That pissed me off. I wanted to see her struggle. I want her to fight, one last time. And so I pryed her hooves open and pushed them to the table. I mounted my own forehooves on the all too small coffee table, makings sure to slam my left hoof in front of her vision. I saw her wince, and then I grabbed her chin and forced her to look at me. The world was now silent.
"You are the only pony in this world with me. You are my prisoner. Obey me or there will be consequences. Do you understand?"
The mare infront of me did not know how to answer. I could see her lose hope as her facial expressions became increasingly worried. I smiled because I knew I was going to have fun with her.
"I will do with you what I want. Be a good girl and make this easy." I said, hoping that she would defy me. I let go of her chin and moved my hoof across to brush her tear stained fur. She was so warm, I could just feel the emotion emanating from her. I briefly covered her mouth with the same hoof and hushed. Then I went in to kiss her.
I kissed for a while. She was so soft and delicate. She was like a stuffed animal that I could just pick up and move, but she was also so warm and alive.
She was trying to control her breathing. I felt her body expand with each breath, and she breathed out of her snout onto me. The mares smelt so faint, but there was a metal, industrial smell to her. Like she walked through a furnace this morning.
I continued to kiss her while I grabbed her rump. Her body seized and then slowly she lowered her guard. I simply moved my hooves up and down, making sure to press into her and take my time to feel her plump ass. I stopped and pull her hips closer to me while I pressed my body closer to hers.
The mares limbs moved involuntarily to push me away. Her forehoves were touching my chest and tried pushed me away when I controlled her body. But she knew that she was my prisoner, and therefore would always relent.
My body jerked up and I stared at her. Towering above her, I told her to move her lower legs. It took her a second, but she did. I leaned back into and told her to kiss wrap her hooves around my body, and after a second she did as told.
"Kiss my neck. Do not let go. I do not want to hear a sound from you."
She began snuggling and kissing my neck and I felt in between her legs. I could tell that that my prisoner swallowed when I touched her pussy. I pressed her marehood firmly and started rubbing in a circular motion.
Is there so much hate for the ones we love? I love her, of course I love myself, but I want her to suffer. Exposing her most vulnerable parts, forcing her to give herself to another pony, these actions do not stem from love, they stem from hate and regret and jealously and every other type of pain.
"Tell me, we both matter, don't we?"
No sound came from her face buried in my neck.
I was pushing and pressing between her legs harder now, and my movements had become more erratic. I pressed my forehoof violently against the vulva. Her body seized, and her grip on my back tightened. I repeated my command.
"Tell me that we both matter."
"You and me, we both matter."
My body succumbed to a flurry of emotions, mostly happy.
Everything she felt, I felt. One thousand times, no, ten thousand times, I will endure the pain of a breaking heart just to have hope that next time, I will find somepony who will love me.
All faded, and I woke up. It was a minute before I could understand my surroundings. Morning light shone into the bedroom, and while the air was a bit cool, my bed and body were warm. My eyes closed and my dreams replayed in my mind. At this moment in time no special emotions stirred within me, and so I conducted a mental scene by scene retelling as to not forget anything. But I don't think that was necessary.
My body felt well rested, and so I got out of bed, opened the windows, and started a new day. I need to tidy up my place, Twilight is coming over in a few days.
Author's Note
I did about 90% of the work in one sitting.
