Chapters “Huh, what’s this?”
Discord looked about himself in confusion, as a few glimmers of multicolored light whizzed past him. It took him but a moment to realize what was happening, as he looked backed towards the six ponies he had sworn were more interested in burning the bridges between them minutes ago.
“No…”
Before he could even say anything else, or even react, Discord watched as a large rainbow arced across the sky and hit him full force. In a last act of desperation, as he squabbled to avoid returning to a petrified prison, he screamed out.
“NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”
As the draconequus was finally defeated, the rainbow collapsed downwards, creating a bubble that expanded without a moment’s notice, undoing all the chaotic acts dreamed up by Discord. Within seconds, Ponyville was back to normal – but the magic didn’t stop there. As it rushed past everything nearby, it grew and grew until it began to encompass the Everfree, and still it didn’t stop. Continuing along its path, it only showed signs of slowing when it was miles within the forest, at which point it began to fade. As it began to vanish in light it barely managed to tap an oddly large tree in the middle of a clearing.
“Ohhh... what in Equestria happ- wait. Am I, free? I’m thinking! I must be free from this endless suffering! Oh the possibilities are endless! So much to do, and so much to see! Maybe I could even… Something’s still wrong.”
Pausing for a minute, the odd figure realized his situation.
“Am I… a tree?”
Indeed, the bubble was too faded to fully undo the curse, and such it only regained his mind. Despite his first thoughts, he was still trapped in his leafy hell. He had no way of seeing, hearing, or otherwise sensing anything beyond his own roots and twigs. The tree sighed. Or it would have, if trees could sigh.
“So close. So very, VERY close. Well, I might be here a while longer. Might as well try to remember how I got here in the first place.”
Without access to any of his senses, the tree’s memory, he remembered two things instantaneously before it all came back from there. First off, he remembered he was a Pegasus. Besides that, the only thing he could remember was Celestia’s voice, all those years ago…
More specifically, he recalled a specific order that was given to him. Under royal decree, he was to investigate the alleged disappearance of an entire village that had simply lost contact with everything else. The village in question was a small little place in the middle of the desert, so it wasn’t surprising any invading force or natural disaster wiped them out before they could send word. And yet, before vanishing, the town had sent a single letter.
DISCORD HAS COME
The Pegasus reasoned, as the best weather pony and guard the princess had available, he would be able to handle whatever this ‘discord’ was and return quickly to give his report to the Celestia. In present time, the tree chuckled (or at least, would have chuckled). Oh how wrong he was.
The Pegasus had arrived there fairly quickly, only to bear witness to the oddest sight he had ever seen. What should have been desert sands beneath him were instead vivid, polka dotted underbrush next to plaid trees. The skies were absolutely full of clouds that appeared to be made out of the sand that should have been on the ground, and the buildings of the village seemed torn apart as the bricks and walls that made them up were suspended in air in random positions. In the center of all of this madpony’s dream sat the one the Pegasus reasoned was behind all of these strange occurrences.
“In the name of Celestia, I demand you state your name, intent, and species. After doing so, you will return this… whatever it is” As he said this, the Pegasus, gestured to the landscape around him before continuing “back to its normal state. From there you may either face your crimes or leave Equestria.”
The thing raised an eyebrow, before snapping his fingers. Taking no great time, he conjured a slice of pizza which he proceeded to eat. With every bite, the surrounding area shuddered as though simply chewing was enough to cause quakes. After licking its claws on the eagle hand, the thing spoke.
“Oh very well, I’ll humor you. I am Discord, Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony. My intent, as you put it, is to spread my work across this, Equestria, you called it? As for species, I am a masterpiece of maelstroms, and the sum of every idle mind that ever thought up something that never made sense.” Discord chuckled, before continuing.
“As for leaving, why would I do that? There is such wonderful chaos to spread here, and you ponies are just too much FUN. Fun to mess with, fun to ruin, and fun to change. In fact…” Discord paused in mock thought as he stroked his goatee “I think you’d make an excellent bout of fun. Perhaps you’d like to be a pile of sand?” The Pegasus, who was already having trouble taking this in, had no reply. This practically invited Discord to continue his monologue.
“No, no. This was a desert. A pile of sand would be too boring... I’VE GOT IT! Say good bye to yourself and hello to the new you!” Discord snapped his fingers, and the Pegasus’s hooves began to take root in the ground. Panicking, he tried to fly off, but his feet were firmly planted in the ground. In horror, he watched as his flesh began to turn to bark from the legs up. Of course, the process was slow enough to give Discord some last words.
“Well now, this really has been fun. We have to do it again sometime! Oh wait, we couldn’t… I can’t very well turn you into a tree twice! That would be crazy, even by my standards! Oh well, I have chaos to spread. Arrivederci!”
That was the tree’s last memory. Or at least, he supposed it was his last memory. Seemed a little rushed for an epic confrontation with insanity. Perhaps being a tree for who knows how long might screw with the head a little. Regardless, he remembered his last moments as he shuddered hard enough to feel a few leaves shake off the ends of his branches, to which he wondered if losing leaves was supposed to hurt him.
“Oh great Celestia, am I really stuck with my memories and my musings as a tree for all eternity? I was better off when I wasn’t able to even think! Speaking of which, how long was that? I seem to have grown substantially since I blacked out, and assuming I really am a tree, that is a loooong time. Oh dear.”
And so the weeks went by, the tree tried to think of things, or do things, or find something to alleviate his boredom. Within the first 42 hours, he had mastered the art of photosynthesis to the point where he was at least glad he wouldn’t starve. Then he started counting his own leaves. It took days, but he finally learned he had somewhere around 190,973 leaves. That left him and his branchy appendages wondering where to go from there.
Between relieving memories, and considering about the metaphysical pros and cons of being a magic tree, the weeks went by and his forced patience paid off; for as he sat and did nothing, miles away changelings were invading Canterlot. Of course, they had failed and a second magic bubble sent them flying faster and further than any Pegasus could dream of. It just so happened that one the changelings, Drone Omega, was tying up some guards that the force field hit it dead on. Unfortunately, it was closer to the mountain than the cliffs on the sides of Canterlot, and so it was launched smack dab in the middle of a stone cliff, where it was rather rudely introduced to the fact that when Changelings are flung against rock by magical love, they bounce. Far.
Oddly enough, he had enough sense about him to notice that he was actually travelling further into the forest than the rest of the swarm. In fact, he was even able to guess what part of the forest he would hit. And so, Drone Omega found itself relatively unsurprised when he landed in a clearing and collided with full force into a certain massive tree, before blacking out.
The tree, however, was much more surprised than the changeling. Here he was, considering if the small creature on the third branch up was a bird or a squirrel, when a thing crashed into him. At this point in his existence, the tree did not like things. The magical force that gave him a half-life came from a thing he didn’t even know about, Discord was a thing when he met him, and now this thing crashed into his side hard enough to make a tree hurt. He didn’t even know trees could hurt, and on top of that he lost 24 of his leaves.
Pausing for a minute, the tree realized that this time, he had received more of a blessing rather than a curse. Because the spell Discord had placed on him was so chaotic, the tree was in tune with the very chaotic nature of magic. How did it know this? Lucky guess.
Stemming from this lucky guess, the tree figured he might as well try and see if he couldn’t leech a little magic for himself. Coincidentally, he could. He felt a little tingly as he drew it, and paused only to wonder if unicorns felt like this all the time. Anyways, being so in tune with magic, and transformation spells in particular (what with being turned into a tree and everything) he was especially surprised to know he had taken a little shapeshifting magic. Practically screaming with joy, or at least as much screaming as a tree could accomplish, he began to figure out how to use the magic.
“YES! FINALLY! FREE AT LAST! And not kind of free, either! Legitimately free! Oh – I’ve even got a voice now!”
The pony hopped about excitably. Oh he could touch the skies again! He jumped up, tying to hover a little before crashing and face planting into the ground. Looking at his sides, the Pegasus realized he had forgotten the wings. Oh. Well, easy fix. The pony concentrated as the wood on his side shaped and grew into lightweight wings. Maybe they wouldn’t fly as well as he remembered, but they would work. Now, he could finally look around at the area he’s been trapped in. It was… a forest. Huh.
This was noticeably different from a desert or even the chaotic storm that Discord had whipped up. Looking around, he could see trees and more trees and yup, even more trees. So, out of a personal leafy prison and into the giant leafy forest, it would seem.
“Well, it beats the former option I guess. At least now I have more things to worry about then identifying various animals.”
“Let’s see. What do I know that looks more like a bug than a pony, it can change shape, and it doesn’t belong in a forest? At least I haven’t noticed any in this forest.”
With this knowledge he hand, he vaguely remembered it was a changeling. A changeling once tried to pose as his best friend, until the original walked in the room. Good times. But something still seemed off. He had no idea what it was doing in the forest. Oh, it seemed to be waking up, perhaps he could ask it.
Omega, in contrast to the Pegasus, was not overjoyed in the slightest to wake up. Indeed, it was bitterly disappointed by the failure at Canterlot, and it was still sporting a massive headache, from both the mountain, and the… tree that was no longer there. Wait, what? Looking around, it was still in the clearing, but there was no tree in sight. Instead, there was some pony shaped hunk of wood. How long had the changeling been knocked out, it wondered. Buzzing up to the strange plant, the changeling examined it for a minute. Then it moved, and started talking to the drone.
“Erm, hello there! That is still how you greet somepony, isn’t it? Course, you aren’t a pony are you? Kind of odd really, I hadn’t expected to find a changeling in a forest. I hadn’t really planned on being in the forest though… Heck, I hadn’t even known there was a forest! Oh, wait. I seem to be rambling. I hope I don’t fall in too much love with the sound of my own voice.”
The changeling panicked and jumped back into the air at first, hanging there as it buzzed its wings. After the initial fright, Omega was really just curious. As far as it could tell, the pony was made of wood. How hard had it hit its head again? It gave the pony a long, strange look before it decided it was hallucinating. Of course, they were tales of stranger things in the world. Omega realized he had paused for a bit too long when he noticed the… pony (Omega still hesitated to call the strange wood that. Mainly because it seemed weird, but after the Canterlot incident a mere hour or so ago, the drone really hated ponies) continued talking.
“Not very talkative, are you? I suppose I understand. You seem to be just a drone after all; you just have to be good at following orders. No matter really. I’ll just have to skip the questions and find a way to thank you. Let’s see… OH! When I was a foal, I had an imaginary friend. You can feast off some of my love for him!” The Pegasus paused, quizzically putting a hoof to his chin “Assuming changelings still eat love, that is.”
Now Omega knew he had a concussion. A pony willingly offering love? Unheard of. Not to mention the fact that the pony wasn’t even certain changelings still ate love. What did that even mean? Who didn’t know that? It was what changelings did for the Queen’s sake! The changeling let out a rather buzzy sigh. He was kind of hungry. Why turn down a free meal, even if it was a strange one. He landed as his horn began to glow. Within a minute the offered love was gone, and the changeling was satisfied for the moment.
The Pegasus, on the other hand, was much more overjoyed. Changelings, as he remembered, weren’t exactly the most ‘social’ or ‘trusting’ of species. The fact that this one hadn’t yet run away to alert the hive seemed relatively promising. He even figured some sort of greeting was in order. Extending a hoof, the Pegasus introduced himself.
“For future reference, my name is Everfree.”
Omega blinked. The pony’s name was Everfree? That seemed like it should be something important. At least, the changeling felt like he should know that name. Shaking his head, it decided that it was just a little delirious, regardless of how real the situation was.
Still feeling as though it was forgetting something, the changeling shifted thoughts and realized it had a bit of a decision to make. If anything, this panicked Omega more than anything else had previously. Everfree was at least right about one thing: Drones only really needed to be able to follow orders. Without a queen, the drone was left with only its own instincts to survive. It needed to find the hive, and fast.
That was option 1. Option 2 was to stay with the plant that decided it was too good for being a tree. At first, that seemed like an awful idea. It was, after all, a pony, and Omega detested the thought of simply hanging around it. Heck, he already thought he talked waaay to much. The only thing giving it pause was the free meal. The drone reasoned that if one meal was offered, surely there had to be more.
The Changeling closed its eyes as it thought. It’s brain was already starting to hurt as it weighed both options. There were key points to both choices that made impossible to just pick one. Why was this so hard? The Queen did all this freethinking on a daily basis, how did she manage it? Oh, if only something would tell it what to do, it would make this ‘personal decision’ thing so much easier. Omega growled in a low buzzy voice
“I Need Orderzzz…”
Opening its eyes, the drone finally came to a conclusion. Sure, it hated the wooden creature quite a bit, but it was the best chance of survival. The longer it survived, the longer it could search for its hive. With this epiphany, the changeling opened its eyes. Acting was a must for any drone, the least it could do was pretend to like this pony. Extending a hole-covered hoof, Omega attempted to fake a greeting.
Of course, to fake a greeting it’s implied that the other pony should still be there. Which he was not. Omega quickly turned a failed hoofshake into a facehoof. Looking around the clearing, it had a bit of trouble spotting Everfree, probably due to the pony being made of leaves and wood. It took but a second to realize that the pony had wandered off while the changeling had its eyes closed, and Omega was a touch insulted. Was this how most ponies acted? Upon spotting the decidedly irritating stallion, Omega stared daggers until Everfree glanced back.
Everfree had no such idea that he had acted rudely, because in his mind he was completely justified. He had been a tree for literally hundreds of years. On top of an outdated sense of politeness, he was painfully bored of being rooted to any spot for too long. Pun intended. And so as he glanced back, his apathetic gaze met the frustrated one of his apparent friend for several seconds. Everfree broke the silence first.
“I’m not apologizing.”
“I wasn’t expecting you too.” The changeling spoke with a small amount of venom, his low buzz carrying his emotion.
“So… I don’t suppose you have a name?”
Annnd cue the second facehoof. At this point, Omega was starting to wonder what dark force led it to crash in this exact spot. Between a moment of being dumbfounded, followed by a moment of disbelief, the drone spoke.
“My name is Drone Omega. You would have known this, had you not walked off.” As the drone spoke, he was questioning why he hadn’t walked off. This was quickly becoming a pointless exercise. Free meals couldn’t be worth this level of stupidity.
Everfree blinked. He had finally understood the venom behind the voice. He assumed he had just walked off while the changeling was in thought. Now he knew he walked off before it even began to talk. Apparently this was rude. Gah, was having a conversation always this hard? Now it was his turn to think. What exactly had he planned to say to Omega, anyway? He supposed he should explain the situation.
“Hi there! I suppose you’re wondering why I’m here at this point. You see, I was a tree for an unknown period of time until you happened to crash into me. Then I stole your magic and turned into a wooden version of my former self! Cool huh?”
Everfree sighed, and took a good long blink. This was going to be tough. Oh if only this changeling thought more like him. He’d been talking to himself for weeks, he knew just what to say to himself …just not anypony else. Opening his eyes, he figured he would wing it and hope for the best.
Of course, in order to wing an explanation, the changeling needed to be still in the area to hear the explanation. Which it was not. Glancing around the clearing, he was confused. Sure, he blended into the trees, but a hole-covered solid-black changeling should have been able to spot in a sunny clearing. Everfree sighed, realizing Omega had legitimately ditched him and left the clearing.
“So it is rude to walk away like that…”
Well, no point in staying here himself. After all, he had an entire forest to explore! Between hoofing it out on foot or taking to the skies, Everfree decided to pick the former. He still wasn’t sure he trusted wooden wings to be as aerodynamic as his actual pair. Not only that, but he had gotten a look at the forest from within the clearing. Anything living in a forest this creepy was not something the Pegasus wanted to fly around and present himself too. Maybe he’d even find Omega. Who knew.
“How in Celestia’s great love of cake did this nightmare of a forest spring around me? It’s positively massive! I can't have really out of it for that long. This just keeps getting worse and worse does- wait. What was that?”
Everfree was certain he had seen a brief slither behind one of the trees. Looking behind it, he saw nothing. Until he noticed the slither repeated itself behind another tree. Then it moved to another one, and another one as he began unmistakably to circle the Pegasus. Everfree was now scared beyond wits, not even certain if his eyes were playing tricks on him. All he had left was blind panic, but he didn't scream. He only shouted out.
“WHATEVER YOU ARE, SHOW YOURSELF! IF YOU’RE REALLY TERRIFYING, PROVE AND STEP OUT FROM THE TREES!”
Everfree gulped. That sounded weak, even as he said it. But hey, the slithering stopped, for better or for worse. Worse was all it could get, of course, when he heard a faint but unmistakable noise.
“No…”
It was a small chuckle, but it was growing in size. Within a few seconds it had grown into the full blown laughter of a madpony. It was hard not to recognize it, when the same laugh had been playing in his mind for days on end. It had plagued his worse thoughts, and a brief recollection of his last moments as a plant free Pegasus flashed through his mind.
“Nonononononononono…”
A clawed talon appeared from behind a tree, and a head poked out as well. Everfree recognized it just as well. He didn’t even need a moment before pain, humiliation, fear, and rage all flashed through his head at the same time with a single name.
“Discord”
“Ohhh… that was the best fun I’ve had in weeks! You really have no idea, do you? Why, if I needed to use your silly little bit system, I would have paid to see the look on your face!”
Indeed, the serpentine master of chaos stood before the shocked Pegasus, with an absurd grin on his face. Everfree didn’t quite share his outlook on the situation as wings flared in stark contrast to the draconequus’ unnatural mirth. But even in his rage, he noticed something was off about Discord. Even in the dark, Everfree could tell that he was… smaller. About half as big as Everfree remembered, really. Still big, but the change was noticeable enough. The Pegasus would have been confused had he not been so busy being not confused. With venom in his voice that would shame a changeling, Everfree spoke.
“What in Luna’s starry mane are you doing here? You don’t even seem to living up expectations, half-pint .”
Discord tried his best to stifle a chuckle as mocked being insulted. Surely the poor little Pegasus he turned into a tree could come up with a better insult than half-pint? To be honest, Discord was a little surprised to find this one still trapped in some resemblance of tree (and a little surprised he still remembered this). He was certain the Elements of Harmonicas or some such nonsense had ruined his beautiful chaos, but this stallion was proof that his power was beyond the reach of Celestia and those infernal girls. The very thought ruined his insulted facade and soon he was laughing away stronger than ever.
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?”
Standing back up, Discord yawned. He was hardly impressed by a fit of rage, especially when this Pegasus had literally no way of touching him. ‘Course, the vice versa was the same situation, but Discord was going to get to that after toying with this pony first.
“Oh, very well, I’ll humor you. Again. Huh, little bit of déjà vu there.” Discord glanced over at the Pegasus, he wondered if using the same word choice he introduced himself would irk the Pegasus a little. Sadly, he didn’t give any response besides looking like Discord had turned his beloved childhood pet into a parasprite. Oh, idea! – No… stay focused.
“You see, after I introduced you to the concept of turning over a new leaf I had left to spread a little chaos into your beloved country. And by a little, I mean a lot. And by a lot, I mean so much there was chaos spilling out of pony’s ears. Literally, in some cases. Anyways, your beloved Celestia came along with her sister, we had a nice little chat, I invited them to dinner. Oh, and they turned me to stone.” Anger flashed across Discord’s face for a brief second before he continued
“Did you know friendship can weaponized into the form of a giant rainbow? Shocker, isn’t it? Well, once I was a statue, all of my chaos that wasn’t permanent reverted back to normal. In terms you’d understand, that’s everything but you. Yup, you were my special little failsafe in case of unforeseen circumstances. I mean, harmony prevailing? Who could predict something like that happening? That’s the real chaos of this world, I tell you…”
Everfree was now no longer busy being not confused after listening to all of that. Special little failsafe? What in Starswirl’s beard did that mean? That still answered no questions he had, instead inviting many, many more. He blinked. “What does that have to do with you being here, and me being practically free?”
“It doesn’t. Well, not really, it’s just the backdrop. But as for me, I’m here because you happen to still be wearing the very last remnants of my magic. As such, I can just pop into your mind whenever I see fit. Meanwhile, the real flesh and stone me is chilling about like a garden decoration in some small town. Or maybe they moved it to Celestia’s garden again. Ick, bad memories.” Discord paused, and looked to his side as a clock popped into existence. Only, from what Everfree could tell, all twelve of the numbers were on one side and the hands of the clock were bent at impossible angles.
“Oh dear, I’m running out of time… if you’ve got any angry shouting you want to get out of your system my dear Pegasus, I suggest you get it done quickly. You don’t have much of my magic, so neither do I.”
Everfree was painfully confused, as he racked his brain for something to say. The only thing he could think of at the moment was the forest. It was ominous enough to keep him from thinking of something else, at least.
“Wait! Ok, if you were defeated, how come you’re forest is still here? You did make it, right?"
Discord gave a broad smile. Oh, that was an excellent question. Perhaps it was the best question that could have been asked at the moment. “As much as I’d like to take credit for it” Discord stifled a chuckle “You’re just as responsible for it as I am. Goodbye!”
Discord popped from existence, leaving a stunned Pegasus underneath the trees.
When Discord had arrived, Everfree knew fear and rage. Now that the draconequus had left, Everfree was left with doubt and confusion. One thing was clear though: Discord made one heck of a spirit of chaos. But what he had said, just before leaving, was perhaps the strangest and most terrifying thing he had to offer.
“What does that even mean? How could I have made this forest? He had to have been lying. But if he wasn’t…”
Everfree didn’t really want to finish this thought. The forest really was getting to him. It seemed oddly familiar somehow, but the very idea that he had a hand in this was almost painful. Leaving the clearing was a bit of a mistake, really. The Pegasus sighed.
“It’s no use standing around here, that’s probably just what Discord wanted anyway. Besides if he was telling the truth he’ll be back. He said something about me having the last of his magic, didn’t he?”
Everfree still hadn’t talked himself in to feeling any better about the situation, but he knew he had to keep moving. The more trees put behind him, the better. And so he started walking. Slowly at first, as well as checking behind practically every bush, but he began to pick up his pace. Actually, he remarked, once you get past the creepy ambiance, it wasn’t half bad. Not like he’d want a summer home here or anything, but the trees had a very distinctive feel to them.
If anything, all he wanted was a way to tell the time. The trees blocked out the majority of the sun, leaving Everfree unsure if he had been walking for ten minutes or an hour or even any longer period of time. With nothing to go off of other than a guess, he reasoned he’d been walking for ohhhh… 30 minutes? At least, long enough to cover a good amount of ground. Still the forest went on.
“Just how big was this forest again? I had thought it massive before, but perhaps that was an understatement. Massive is the work of a few centuries. This looks more like the work of a dozen or so centuries.”
Everfree should know just how long a forest took to grow; after all, his father was the royal gardener. He spent many a year as a foal tending the plants with his old man.
“Wait… foal… why does that itch my brain the way it does?”
The realization hit Everfree like a ton of bricks. No, that may have been too light. More like the entire royal guard wearing full armor flying into them. While they were carrying carts full of bricks. Anyways, the forest just made sense to Everfree, and that was not a good thing. As a foal, Everfree had such horrible nightmares. Every night for weeks on end, he’d dream the same thing every single night barely giving him time to sleep. It passed over time, and Everfree spent years trying to forget the terror.
Walking through the forest brought back every single gut wrenchingly real moment of his childhood fear; because as a foal, every night when he went to sleep he would get lost in a forest. Just. Like. This. One. All of a sudden, every tree became instantly frightening, and the bushes seemed all too likely they’d be hiding something.
Everfree cowered. How was one supposed to deal with something this traumatic? By waiting for the trauma to go away of course! Well, ok, maybe that wasn’t a terribly good plan, but it doesn’t seem like a bad idea when you’re cowering underneath a tree. Minutes passed as the Pegasus shivered in fear. Hesitantly, he started to stand up. In a shaky voice, he began speaking, mainly just to reassure himself.
“O-Okay, I guess this isn’t really bad. I’m relieving the most terrifying parts of my foalhood as years of bad memories come flooding back. N-no problem!” Everfree gave a nervous chuckle, and began to take a few more steps. At this moment, a bush to the left of the Pegasus rustled a little.
“OH DEAR CELESTIA, PANIC!!!!!!!”
Without any second thoughts, Everfree bolted. He didn’t really care which direction he ran in, he just knew that he was going as fast as possible. In fact, he even started to fly a few inches off the ground to gain that extra speed. Behind him, a small squirrel hopped out of a bush, and stared at the strange tree that just ran off.
Everfree must have run straight on for miles. He was a royal guard years ago, and his stamina was really quite remarkable. However, stamina is no substitute for watching where you’re going, and the Pegasus carelessly rammed into a tree, knocking himself out cold.
Luckily, you can’t keep a good pegasus down. With a groan and a brief pat of his head, he got up. For some reason, he felt a lot better about the forest. It still terrified him to no end, but suffering a major head injury does actually help the psyche. Sometimes. Besides, he was hungry. He must have been out for a while, because he certainly was sure he couldn’t have been this hungry beforehand.
“Wait, if my skin is still wood, and my mane is still wood, do I really need to eat or do I just need to stand in some sunlight?”
Well, there was an easy way to find out, really. Find some sun, and if that didn’t work, find some food. Simple, really. Everfree looked around, only to see nothing but dark leaves of the canopy as far as the eye could see. He really didn’t want to move around the forest, but he didn’t see any other option.
“Okay, back to walking. I-I suppose I could deal with it. Only ‘till I find a clearing though. Then I’m sitting there until the forest makes me move!”
That sounded good. All he needed was some sun, and he could rethink this whole thing. Maybe he could even find a positive spin on it all! So, Everfree was back to walking. Only, being as acutely afraid of his surroundings, time was a lot harder to lose track of. Every second of every step he took just added on top of his paranoia. Well, until he finally found a clearing.
“Wait… is that the sound of… water?”
Everfree was elated. Fear melted away as some natural tree instincts kicked in. Water and sunlight? Absolutely perfect! Covering the last few hundred feet or so by sprinting, the pegasus burst into the clearing. The first thing he felt was how good the sun felt on his wooden skin. Then, he saw the pond in the middle of the clearing. For something in the middle of a nightmare forest, it looked extraordinarily pristine.
“Oh what good luck! Let’s see, I wonder how shallow the water is? Wait, I could probably float being the wooden pony that I am” Everfree chuckled before staring back at the water “It really does look amazing. Even that Manticore seems to enjoying it!”
Everfree blinked. “Wait, did I just say Manticore?” Indeed, there was one sitting at the edge of the pond, just lapping up water. Luckily it didn’t seem to see Everfree, and it’s not like the pegasus had made any noticeable sounds like a chuckle or a personal question? Okay… so maybe the manticore did notice him. As it finished drinking, it stood up giving Everfree got a chance to see how remarkably lion-like it was. Well, aside from the giant scorpion tail and equally oversized batwings. The bottom of its mane was a little wet from the pond, but that just made even scarier. Somehow.
Panicking, Everfree took the brief time it took for the beast to stand up and used it to think up a plan “Okay, okay this is still salvageable. What do I know about manticores that I can use to my advantage?" Unfortunately, all he could remember was how amazingly territorial they could be, and how much faster they were than most ponies on foot.
The manticore roared and charged forward, barely giving Everfree time to blink. One would think with such natural weapons like its tail or claws a manticore would opt for that, but this one just rammed into the pegasus, knocking him into a tree. Getting up, Everfree glared at the manticore. One would think that he’d be out of wits scared in a situation, and he certainly was. He had just come full circle with fear, so much so that a kick of adrenaline pushed him over the edge. Or maybe it was the head injury of being knocked into a second tree.
“Alright, fine. You want to play this game? I went through five years of training just to join the royal guard. So you know what I’m going to do? I’m going to wait. That’s right, you have the first move.”
The manticore did in fact charge again, but it made no sign of paying heed of Everfree’s taunt. Stopping just short, it raised a paw. The fact that it looked just like Discord’s did not improve the pegasus’s rage. The paw of a manticore, it should be noted, is quite capable of shattering solid rock. It is perhaps pointless to mention wood, while stronger than flesh, is softer than rock. That same boulder-smashing paw blurred as it slammed towards the pony with the force of the Friendship Express… only to miss completely.
Everfree chuckled as he sidestepped. “I don’t suppose you could work on your aim?” The manticore hissed and lashed out with its tail as if on cue. The pegasus jumped back, but was still scratched with the barb across his front right leg. Wincing, he took a step back. Normally, a pony stuck by a manticore’s tail would succumb to the poisons within seconds, and as such manticores learned that striking with a tail was a killing blow, and watching the poison work its magic was the better than actually finishing them with claws. And so the beast took a step back, and watched.
Everfree looked curiously at the manticore. “Are you expecting something?” Of course, the beast didn’t reply. In fact, the beast was thoroughly confused. Most of, well, anything would have collapsed to the ground in agony by now. Why had this one stayed upright? Instinctively, it took a step back in fear. Everfree followed the manticore’s gaze to his wound, which was dripping with venom.
“Oh, you’re probably wondering why your poison did nothing. Well, I have an answer, but you wouldn’t understand… oh what the hey? It didn’t work because of a little something I like to call ‘I’m a tree, so go to Tartarus!’” At this point, wings outstretched, Everfree flipped around and kicked the manticore in the face. Now, if Everfree had the hind strength of a, let’s say fashionista, a simple kick would have done next to nothing. Everfree was not a fashionista, and was in fact a trained professional with hind legs literally made of solid oak, so his kick did considerably more than nothing.
Staggering backwards, the manticore was now confused and in pain. When you’ve been kicked in the face by something that should be twitching in pain, it is usually a good time to back off. Whimpering ever so slightly, the manticore did something that would most manticores never did once: it fled. Most manticores, with all of their aforementioned natural weapons, never had to actually fight hard as they say, so at the sign of an equal match most manticores were apt to not risk it. A cowardly giant, of sorts.
“Wait, did I really just chase of a dangerous predator half my size?” Everfree couldn’t help but smile “Childhood nightmares - eat your heart out.”
Mustering as much pride as someone can once they debunked pretty much one of their greatest fears – which is to say a lot – Everfree trotted over to the pool and stood in it. Now, one might walk into the clearing and wonder just what in Equestria he was doing, but he was actually enjoying himself as one would enjoy a five star meal. The water, which was just as good as it looked, was neatly absorbed through his hooves like a tree absorbs it with roots, while his mane of leaves collected any stray bits of sunlight that hit him. All in all, he earned a victory feast, and he was gorging himself.
Hours passed by, and finally the sun passed behind the tree line, forcing Everfree to stop his enjoyment, which wasn’t really a bad thing. He was starting to get tired, so all worked well. Sadly, being a tree mixed with being alive, so he still needed to find asleep. The clearing actually looked fairly safe, and nothing barring some birds had dropped by, so Everfree curled up by the shore of the pool and fell asleep
Everfree awoke with a start as he heard a twig snap at the edge of the clearing. Of course, this made a little nervous, so he stood up to try to look at it. It never occurred to him that he was no longer made of wood, and his coat and mane were their natural colors.
With every step towards the edge of the clearing, he felt himself getting smaller and smaller. His legs felt stubbier, his mane shorter, and the bravery he had minutes ago was fading fast. Or was it hours ago? Everfree found he couldn’t even think straight.
The clearing before him seemed to stretch out. All he wanted to do was look at the edge, but the trees stretched and contorted, and the distance from him and the trees seemed massive. It didn’t occur to him to stop moving, so he continued walking.
Even the trees mocked him, and then he starting hearing the whispers. They were just quiet enough to understand, but they were definitely there. Unnerved, the pegasus began trotting faster. The whispers became louder and louder, preventing him from even slowing down for a second. All he could do is run, no longer to the forest, but from it. From those Celestia-awful whispers.
He ran for what seemed like hours, every second of it pure psyche shattering horror, until his hooves just gave up. Collapsing on the ground, ever free slammed his eyes shut and cowered on the harsh floor, but the whispers were still there. Louder and louder and louder the voices screamed at it until it just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Go away!” He sobbed “Please… just go away…”
They wouldn’t. They would only grow. His ears began to hurt, and he lost all ability to hear or even think about anything that wasn’t the screaming whispers. He felt the very dark of the forest creep up on him. As his very skin crawled at its icy touch, the darkness enveloped him…
Everfree awoke with a scream, panting in sheer fright as he hadn’t done since he was a foal. As the realization hit him, he tried to calm himself, a task that seemed impossible.
“It was just a dream. Thank Celestia! It was just a dream!”
At the edge of the clearing, Everfree heard a twig snap.
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Out of the frying pan and into another frying pan
As Everfree heard the snap reverberate across the clearing, he didn't dare look back. There were too many possibilities, and he was just about done with all of them. Out of fear, that small part of him that still thought he was trapped told him to shut up and stand still, and so he stood. With his back to the sound, it seemed like ages.
“Oh sweet Celestia, What did I do to deserve this? Was it those pranks I pulled on the captain?”
Moments passed and seconds turned to minutes, and still nothing happened. Reasoning that whatever snapped the twig would be gone by now, Everfree risked slowly turning his head. As he craned his neck, he was surprised to make eye contact with two very insectoid blue eyes. Everfree couldn't help but laugh, as he spoke towards the familiar face.
“Ha! You got me, but I must admit, I wasn’t expecting to see you again… wait. What was your name again?” The changeling craned its neck in confusion, but Everfree didn’t leave much pause, “No, no. Don’t tell me. Drone Omega, was it?” Again, there was no response from the changeling, but Everfree didn’t care much.
“I apologize; we didn’t leave on the best of terms. Perhaps I was a bit rude, but I’d like to make amends. After all, you did free me, and I did give you some love.” This the changeling reacted too. Upon hearing its traditional diet, it took a threatening pose, fangs bared and wings fluttering. The wooden pegasus gave a confused look, “Omega?”
As the changeling began advancing, Everfree took a step back and noticed for the first time a shape in his peripheral vision. Another changeling! And… another one, and another one… Everfree nervously counted out about seven of them, give or take any still behind the tree line. “I’m guessing you aren’t Omega?” With very little ground left to cover, the changeling leapt forward and in the nick of time the pegasus ducked underneath.
“I’ll take that as a no!” He didn’t stick around for a response, as Everfree bolted into the tree line with the small horde in pursuit. Looking back he saw there was some distance as nothing knows a forest like a tree, so in the absence of danger within five hoofsteps, he began mentally chastising himself. “It was those stupid pranks, wasn’t it? And you just had to mention you had some love to spare? This is very, very bad!”
He ducked a low hanging branch and hopped over a root as he continually glanced over his shoulder. The first few changelings weren’t quite as good as navigating the forest floor as he was, and for a second he actually thought he was going to get away. Then he heard a buzzing sound and the changelings in the back started flying forwards, easily making up the lost ground.
“Oh, Celestia strike me down! I forgot about the wings! Wait… don’t I have those too?” He flared out his own wings to make sure they were there. He cried out in an odd mixture of joy and mortal terror (given the small chase scene behind him) as he looked upwards for any sort of space in the leaves he could use. Low and behold, there actually was a small gap! Without much time to lose, Everfree burst through the foliage with majesty akin to a dodo in a jetpack. Which is too say, there certainly wasn’t any elegance to the whole thing, but it was effective.
Soon Everfree was back in the domain of the sky ponies, and he was loving every bit of it. Or maybe that was the escaping imminent death thing. Maybe both. Regardless, he was snapped out of his thoughts as he heard an odd buzz in the air. Glancing backwards, he noticed the changelings were breaking free of the foliage as well. To add insult to injury, they looked much cooler doing it. Once again panicking, Everfree kicked it into high gear only to notice that, as wood, his high gear was significantly lower than he thought it was. The seven shape shifters were finally beginning to close the gap between them, and it looked like there was nothing left Everfree could rely on to evade them… unless…
Everfree looked up more, straining his neck towards his last hope. Was it… it was! A fairly large sized cloudbank! With little time to lose, the pegasus rushed towards this welcome deus ex machina, practically flying as fast as his somehow aerodynamic wings would take him. It certainly wasn’t a long flight, but with as the changelings approached that five hoof step distance, every second slowed down as the universe itself seemed to be holding its breath. Then, Everfree burst through the first clouds, and immediately banked a hard left, hoping to lose the changelings following him into the clouds.
Just then, all Tartarus broke loose. He couldn’t be sure if one of the changelings just slammed into his face through the fog, or if it was another cloud, but one thing led to another and soon Everfree was plummeting through the sky, back towards the forest. He tried to stretch out and flap his wings, but he was falling too fast. The best he could manage was slowing his fall enough to not be fatal, but then gravity introduced him to a little thing called sudden impact, and he collapsed through the trees.
It hurt. Like, a lot. So much so that he was surprised he could be sore in his everywhere. Well, he wasn’t initially surprised. More unconscious, but when he came too he was in for quite the (painful) shock. As he stood up, he flapped his wings only to feel a twinge of more pain. He gave himself a brief look over, noticing several scratches but nothing more, until the sight of his scratches sunk in.
“Wait… I bleed sap? Weird…”
Trying his best to ignore the current situation, he looked around only to notice a very different sight in the forest. Looking around, he noticed several strange mucus green strands interconnected between what could be considered possible escape routes. In fact… it looked sort of like… a cage?
“Oh, you have got to be kidding me.”
In between the strands were the familiar blue eyes just staring at him, almost as though they were expectantly waiting for something. Luckily, it was still just the seven from what he could see. In fact, it was really quite strange. They were just… sitting there. They weren’t feeding on him. They weren’t trying to beat any love out of him. They weren’t doing anything.
THUD!
Everfree whirled around only to see an eighth changeling jump down from the treetops. “There are eight?!” Only, this one was different. It was larger and more muscled than the others. Not unlike the physique of one of the royal guards, as he mused what happened next. It bared its fangs, as Everfree realized what was happening.
“Cage fighting!? Really?! Changelings partake in cage fighting !? What purpose does that even serve, for the love of Celestia?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE!!”
The larger changeling hissed through bared teeth, actually speaking much to Everfree’s surprise. “It’s fun.” Then it pounced, much more accurately than the lesser ones. Everfree was sent reeling towards the edge of the cage. He put a hoof on the strands blocking the way to steady himself, only to realize it was sticky. His hoof was stuck. “FOR THE LOVE OF-“
Everfree was interrupted by a familiar laughter, as he glanced to his right; an annoyingly but equally familiar draconequus appeared in his peripheral. All he had to do was crane his neck a little more and he was well able to give a deadpan glare that had the spirit of chaos in hysterics.
“Sure. Why not? What else could go wro-“ Everfree’s speech was interrupted as the super-changeling took the pause to position himself just right to buck the pegasus into the strands, which responded in very much the same fashion as a slingshot would. Mid thought, Everfree was launched into the air and landed face first into the center of the area.
Wiping a tear from his eye as his laughter dimmed down, Discord spoke up through brief chuckles. “Oh my, I picked the best moment for my reappearance. Why, if I had missed this, I might actually have been upset! Oh, this almost makes up for the time I was stuck in that infernal statue!” As he continued pointing and laughing, Everfree proceeded to feel what could only be describe as ‘the pain has been doubled’. Honestly, this eighth changeling knew how to give a beating. A few minutes in, Everfree was desperate.
“Look, Discord. I kno-“ Again the pegasus was bucked into the strands, but he continued “-I know we aren’t exactly fr-“ An uppercut, this time. “-friends… but could ya help me out?” Another slingshot across the clearing, followed by a brief fisticuffs brawl as Everfree tried to stand up.
Discord put his talented hand to his chin, mocking serious thought. Coming to a conclusion, he spoke up. “Oh very well. If you’re this desperate.” He snapped his fingers, and Everfree couldn’t help but feel relieved. Until, of course, the changeling continued hitting him across the forest floor. He stared dumbfounded as his foe looked exactly the same, but in a top hat. “THAT’S NOT HELPING!”
The changeling looked at him as if he was crazy, and Discord broke out into hysterics. “Au contraire, mine leafed friend. It’s much harder to take him seriously now!” The changeling looked left and right in confusion, not sure what to make of the situation. He hissed towards Everfree “I’m beating you within an inch of your life for sport. Why do you think I would help you?”
Everfree blinked, again dumbfounded. “You mean… you can’t…” The realization dawned on him, “SON OF A COCKATRICE!” Discord again broke into laughter, and tried to speak in between more hysterics “You mean… you didn’t know… I was a figment of your… imagination? That’s just priceless!”
And so the next few minutes stretched out in a fashion similar to this: The changeling wailed on Everfree (coming to the conclusion he had beat him senseless already), Discord warping Everfree’s perception left and right, and Everfree himself slowly building up rage. Eventually, he was fed up. The changeling threw another punch, only this time Everfree caught it as his wooden hoof met the hole-filled hoof.
“You know what? I’m done. I’m done with you, I’m done with pain, I’m done with this, and I’m. Just. done .” He whirled around and threw a buck that connected solidly with the changeling’s jaw. If it wasn’t a shape shifter, it wouldn’t be looking very pretty. By this point, Discord even stopped messing with him, and instead conjured up a bucket of popcorn.
“I even think I know why I’m done. I think it’s your fault. Even before you starting knocking me around for about the past hour, I was in a bit of pain. I think you just knocked me full circle. I am in so much pain; I don’t even think I can feel pain now. And you know what else? Thank you. Because you’re a changeling, and because a being that exists in my mind has been messing with me for the past half an’ hour, I was able to steal a little magic. Just enough, in fact, to do this !”
Everfree closed his eyes, as trace amounts of green flame flickered around his hooves. Slowly, it rose, as the flame engulfed him. The changelings went wide-eyed, the lead one took a step back, and Discord was on his second bucket of popcorn. As the flames sputtered out, Everfree stepped forward, unscathed and looking completely unharmed.
The lead changeling’s look was that of pure fear. Indeed, as Everfree looked around, all of the changelings looked stricken with panic, and one by one they began to flee. Even the eighth one began to take a few steps back, before turning tail and fleeing, as he seemingly phased through his own magically conjured strands of green mucus.
“Yeah, that’s right! You’d better run! Anything you can dish out I can use to heal!” Everfree shouted triumphantly, as he stamped his hoof on the ground. Discord looked curiously at him, before chuckling. “Bravo on the performance, but they weren’t running from you. Turn around.” The pegasus gave a curious glance towards the chaos god, before realizing whatever scared off eight changelings was probably dangerous.
Whirling around for the umpteenth time, Everfree came face to face with an unmistakably threat. The slithering tail, the snaky bottom, the beak and feathers: standing in front of the pegasus was a full grown cockatrice. Everfree didn’t waste a beat before breaking off on another speech.
“I don’t think I’m even upset with this. With the time I’ve been having, I think I’ve pretty much come to terms with the fact that the universe will literally stop making sense in order to give me a bad day. So, you know what? Lay it on me. Turn me to stone. I ain’t even mad.” Everfree stared dead into the eyes of the cockatrice and… nothing happened. It took all of three seconds for the pegasus to notice something was wrong. Though he had never seen a cockatrice, he had studied them as a royal guard enough to know what they looked like, right down to the red, demonic eyes.
This one had clouded, milky-white eyes. “Wait a tick. Are you blind? A blind cockatrice?” Everfree practically jumped for joy, realizing that the universe didn’t hate him as much as he had thought. In fact, it probably even saved him from the changelings. Sure it roughed him up, but it offered an apology, in the shape of a mythical misfit. In response to the sudden whoopee coming from the front of it, the cockatrice recoiled into a threatening pose. Everfree felt instantly guilty for startling it.
“Let’s see… cockatrices feed on stone, which they gather from petrifying living flesh. I am neither flesh nor stone, so it won’t attack me from smell. It is remarkable though… this poor sap must have lived off of reputation and scraps alone for its entire life…” Everfree, in a moment of pity, looked around before scooping up a small pebble and offering it forwards.
“It’s okay, I won’t hurt you. If anything, I feel your pain. I myself am pretty much overlooked by lady luck.” Hesitantly the cockatrice inched forward, operating from smell alone, before darting forward, snatching the pebble, and retreating a few steps. Even in the Everfree, moving trees were unnatural, and the already cautious critter was understandably cautious.
“I know you can’t understand speech, but I assure you, I am no threat. You can’t understand words, but what about tone?” Trying to take on a soothing tone, he again outstretched a hoof. The cockatrice was smart enough to work out some instinctual reasoning in this situation, and a moving tree would provide a mobile nest. As a creature always on the move for fear of staying anyplace long enough for predators to catch on to its weakness, a mobile nest was a pleasant thought.
Discord, who watched with some interest but mostly disgust, decided the cockatrice had ruined his fun. Glaring at the thing, and knowing it couldn’t hear him but not caring, he muttered under his breath. “Party pooper.” Everfree gave a threatening look behind him and gave a dead pan stare before starting to shimmy underneath one of the few openings in the magically conjured webbing.
Forced to follow in tow, the draconequus simple hovered behind the two, thinking of ways he could mess with his sole source of entertainment.
