My Little Pony: Generations are Magic

Chapters

Apple Family Morning
Dashes and Wibbly Wobbley Timey Wimey Magic
Discord's Modern Life
Going the Distance
What the HAY is goin' on here?!
I Will Try To Fix You

Apple Family Morning

Chapter 1: Apple Family Morning

Early in the morning at Sweet Apple Acres, a rooster crowed, greeting the rising sun as loudly as his voice allowed.
As he crowed, a second-story window rolled up at the farm house. A pale-orange Pegasus filly with a messy pale pink mane stuck her head out, an irritated look marring her pretty little face and shining in her sap green eyes.
“SHUT UP!” She bellowed, startling the poor chicken so much he fell off his perch. Quickly, the filly slammed the window shut and flopped back into bed, entangling herself in the sheets.
“Apple Heart!” A country-accented mare called up the stairs. “Time fer breakfast, sugarcube!”
The filly moaned from under her blanket sanctuary. “Comin’ Auntie Applejack.”

Downstairs in the kitchen of the Apple farmhouse, Fluttershy hummed as she began to set the plates out for breakfast. As she did, a large red stallion walked in, yawning slightly.
“Good morning, dear.” Fluttershy greeted, smiling at her large mate.
Big Macintosh grinned back at her. “Mornin’, hun. Kids up yet?”
“Well, I heard Applejack yelling up the stairs, so they probably are.” Fluttershy replied, delicately placing stacks of pancakes onto plates. The red stallion walked over to his mate, nuzzling her neck slightly.
“… U-Um… G-Good mornin’…” A small voice nearly whispered from across the room.
The eldest of the couple’s two foals, Noteworthy, was, as per usual, the first up of the two up. The pale yellow Earth colt (though he was nearing too old to be called one anymore) took after his mother in both looks (for the most part, blond streaks ran through his pale pink mane and freckles adorned his face) and personality. Like Fluttershy, Noteworthy was a quiet kind of pony, not to mention shy as all get out.
But he did have one trait that came neither from his dam nor his sire: Just like his Auntie Applejack, when he wanted to be, the colt could be as stubborn as frozen beeswax.
“Mornin’, kiddo.” Big Macintosh said, smiling at his young son.
“Good morning, sweetie. Apple pancake?”
“Y-Yes, please, Mama.” Noteworthy grinned slightly, taking a seat at the table.
This sweet family scene may have gone on, but as usual, Applejack was looking for her own colt (though he really wasn’t a colt at all; her son had just become old enough to be called a stallion).
“ROYAL RED APPLE, WHERE THE HAY ARE YA?!” The country mare hollered, running into the kitchen.
“Probably where he always is, sis: Asleep in the barn.”
The orange mare stamped her feet and groaned in frustration. “Damn it, Ah told that lazy boy that he ain’t allowed tah go back tah bed!”
“Technically, that ain’t his bed, AJ.”
“Don’t you be gittin’ all technical on me, mister!” The mare sighed. “Guess Ah’d best be wakin’ him up… again.”
The other three chuckled a bit as Applejack stormed off to the barn, fully prepared to give her son one hell of a lecture. In the meantime, the youngest (at least for a few more weeks) member of the Ponyville branch of the Apple family came down the stairs, still half-asleep.
Okay, so technically she flew down them. Same thing, sort of.
“Good morning, Apple Heart.” Fluttershy greeted her filly.
In response, the Pegasus mumbled incoherently. As soon as she took a seat at the breakfast table, her head immediately hit the placemat.
A concerned expression appeared on Noteworthy’s face. Cautiously, he tapped his younger sister on the shoulder.
“U-Um… Sis? Are you oka-?”
The orange filly’s head shot up, her expression what can only be described as “The Stare, Version 2.0.”
Immediately, the yellow colt recoiled, toppling off his chair and hiding under the table in terror.
“Apple Heart! What have I told you about using the stare on your older brother?!”
Meanwhile, in the barn
There were three things that Royal Red (often just called Royal) hated about living on a farm.

1: Early mornings.

2: The fact that he had to do all the labor physically, instead of using his unicorn magic.

3: Hay. Oh, how he hated hay and all the itchiness it caused. And hay fever. He loathed hay fever.

But of all those things, he hated early mornings the most. Therefore, he chose to ignore his hate of hay and sneak off to the barn to get around ten more minutes of sleep.

“ROYAL RED APPLE!”
Until his mother found him like she always did.
Slowly, the young stallion lifted his head from the mound of hay serving as a makeshift bed. “Uh… Howdy, Mama.”
Her expression stern, Applejack dragged her son out of his hay mountain, a bit of an impressive feat considering Royal was now a bit taller than she was, not to mention weighed a good amount more than the orange mare did.
“Don’t you ‘Howdy, Mama’ me, young stallion! How many times do Ah got tah tell ya that ya can’t be shirking work tah go back tah sleep?!”
The red-orange unicorn bowed his head in shame. “Ah’m sorry, Mama, Ah just can’t help it. Ah’m always so tired in the mornings that Ah can’t even do any work, and besides, when Ah try tah help…” Royal sat down, looking despondent as he stared at his flanks, still blank, even though he was already a stallion. “When Ah try to help, Ah always end up breakin’ something.”
Applejack’s expression softened. Her motherly side taking dominance, the mare nuzzled her son’s head affectionately. “Aw, sugarcube, it ain’t yer fault. Yer Uncle Big Macintosh was just as clumsy as you are when he was yer age, and now look at him!”
Royal stood up. “But Ah ain’t my uncle, Mama! Look at me! Ah’m almost full-grown and Ah don’t even got mah Cutie Mark yet!”
“Now, sugarcube, Ah’ve told ya before, these things-”
“Take time, Ah know already! But Ah’m not a little colt anymore, Mama! Let’s just face it, Ah don’t belong at Sweet Apple Acres! Ah don’t belong here. Ah should be… Ah don’t know, somewhere else.”
Applejack sighed. “Ya really are just like yer Daddy, ain’t cha?”
The young stallion perked up at the word, ‘Daddy’. “Really? How am Ah like him, Mama?”
The orange mare groaned. “Ah told ya, Ah don’t wanna talk about him!”
“But, Mama-”
“No buts, mister. Now, Ah need ya and Noteworthy tah go take Apple Heart over tah school, then Fluttershy needs ya two tah get some things for her at the market. Oh, and remind Braeburn tah send that notice over tah Appleloosa ‘bout the new saplings comin’ in a little late.”
Royal sighed, defeated again. He was so close this time, too. “Yes’m.”
Later
“Bye, Scaredy Pony! Bye, Royal!” Apple Heart told her escorts, hugging the latter before rushing into the schoolhouse.
Noteworthy’s ears fell, sadness marring his features. Royal was quick to notice this.
“Aw, Cuz, don’t think nuthin’ of it. She’s just bein’ tough on ya, that’s all.”
“Yeah… But Ah’m sposed to be her big brother, not you…”
Royal sighed. “There ain’t nuthin’ that can be done ‘bout it. C’mon, we’d better go get tah shoppin’ fer groceries.”
Meanwhile, Outside Rarity’s store
Braeburn sighed, a mix of contentment and melancholy fueling it. It wasn’t that he didn’t like Ponyville, he loved it, and he didn’t regret leaving Appleloosa one bit. He could never regret falling in love with his beautiful mate, or the absolutely perfect filly they had together, or the foal that could come any day now.
It was just that, on a day like today, where the sun was shining and there were no clouds in the sky to be found, he sometimes felt just a twinge of homesickness for the wide open spaces of Appleloosa.
“DAAAAADDY!”
And now the melancholy was gone. “What is it, dumplin’?”
Stardust, his pale yellow unicorn filly with a curly purple mane and big green eyes, looked extremely panicked.
“Mother… the baby… NOW!” Stardust explained breathlessly.
Braeburn stared at his young filly. “Uh, beg pardon?”
Stardust facehoofed. “Mother is in labor, you dolt!”
Normally the yellow stallion would have reprimanded his daughter for calling him that, but right now he was in shock from what his daughter had just told him.
“Huh… buh… whuh…”
“Daddy? Are you alri-? DADDY THIS IS NO TIME TO BE TAKING A NAP!”
When her sire still didn’t get up, Stardust groaned and stomped her hooves angrily. Using the levitation spell Miss Twilight had taught her, the filly lifted Braeburn up and shook him, effectively waking him up.
“AH! AH’M AWAKE, AH’M AWAKE!”
Gently, Stardust let her sire down. “Good. Now, c’mon! We have got to hurry, or Mother may end up giving birth without us!”
In Rarity’s Shop
Rarity sighed, a mixture of relief and disappointment fueling it. Yet another false alarm, the third one this week alone. Rarity knew that she couldn’t force the baby to come anymore than she could keep it from coming. But she was getting extremely tired of the mood swings, the cravings, the false alarms, and most of all, being fat. No, Rarity did not like pregnancy one little bit.

But she did love her filly, and she couldn't wait to have another child.

Suddenly, Braeburn and Stardust burst into the shop, him with a bucket full of water and her levitating a large amount of blankets with her magic. Both wore matching panicked expressions.

"Another false alarm, dears."

Braeburn sighed, dropping the bucket. "Darlin', Ah love you tah bits, but Ah don't think mah heart can take another one of these false alarms."

"Oh, don't be dramatic darling; you're not that old yet. Well, I suppose that today just isn't the day."

"I'm starting to think that it'll never be the day, Mother..."

Rarity smiled sadly at her filly and waddled over to her. "Oh, sweetie, don't worry so much. The baby will come, eventually."
"If you say so..."
Just then, someone at the door cleared their throat. “Um… Is this a bad time?”
The small family turned to see two of their younger relatives, Royal and Noteworthy.
“Oh, not at all, darlings! Do you need something?”
“Ah, yes, Auntie Applejack wanted us tah remind Braeburn that he’s sposed to right that letter tah Appleloosa ‘bout the seedlings arriving’ a ‘lil late.”
Braeburn’s eyes widened. “Ah, horseapples, Ah completely forgot about that! Hun, where’s the-?”
“In the study. So are the pens.”
Braeburn raced into the study, grabbing a pen, paper, and an envelope, and then racing out. “And mah-?”
“On your head, like usual, dear.”
Braeburn chuckled sheepishly, and then gave his mate a quick peck on the cheek. “Thanks, hun! Love ya!”
“I love you too, dear.”
“Ugh, gag me.” Stardust muttered.

Five Minutes Later
After saying goodbye to their relatives, the two males left the shop.
Only to be nearly knocked off their hooves by two strange gusts of wind.
“Huh. Is it time for their daily race already?”
“That’s odd; I thought those were at noon.”
The two looked up into the clouds, hoping they wouldn’t get knocked over by Sonic Boom, the elder, and Astro Dash, the younger son of Equestria’s faster flier, the legendary Rainbow Dash.
Yup, just a typical morning for the Apples.

Dashes and Wibbly Wobbley Timey Wimey Magic

NOTE: A basic understanding of the British television series "Doctor Who" may be helpful from this chapter on.

Chapter 2: Dashes and Wibbly Wobbly Timey Wimey Magic

“Think you can beat me, squirt?”
“I think you should watch out for that tree!”
“Wait, wha-?” That was the end of that conversation as the eldest of the two brothers, Sonic Boom (called Sonic) crashed straight into a tree. Astro, his younger brother, stuck out his tongue as he passed his brother.
“See ya at the finish line, loser!”
The cyan stallion sat on his haunches in a daze for a second, then shook his head.
“Why that little-”
“Yoo-hoo! Oh Sonic!” A high-pitched feminine voice called over.
“Oh, crap.” Sonic was hardly ever scared, but this was the exception. She was the exception.
Astro never saw his brother coming.
“Holy hell, what’s gotten into you?!”
“Can’ttalkRoseBellecominggoodluckkid!”
“What the actual heck are you talking abo- OOF!”
“Gotcha, my darling Sonic!” The pink Earth filly (though, like Astro and his good friend Noteworthy, she was nearing her adulthood) yelled as she tackled him.
The pale azure colt groaned. “Rose, for the fiftieth time, I. Am. Not. SONIC!”
“Wha-? Oh, crap, sorry, Astro!” Rose Belle quickly apologized, immediately getting off of him.
A few yards ahead, a huge burst of cheers filled the usual moderate silence of Ponyville.
“Oh, nonononononononononono!” Astro yelled as he dashed off towards the finish line, only to find a small crowd of ponies was already lifting his brother, once again the winner.
Just like he always was.
“Better luck next time, kid!” Sonic called as he got away from the crowd and joined his friends for celebratory cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner.
The pale azure colt’s ear’s dropped, lowering his head near the ground. “Today was supposed to be my day.”
Noteworthy and Royal walked over to their friend. The smaller of the two tapped Astro lightly with the bottom of his hoof. “C’mon, Astro, ya did great. Everypony already knows yer the best young racer fer miles ‘round. Ah mean, that’s what ya got yer Cutie Mark for, right?”
Said Cutie Mark was of a red and blue lightning bolt over a checkered flag waving in the wind. Astro was the only one of the self-named, “Trio of Ponyville Bros” to actually have his Cutie Mark.
Astro stood shrugged off his friend, standing up. “But that doesn’t matter if I’m not the fastest! I race because I want to be first-rate! Because of him, I’m only second-rate!”
“What does it matter if yer big brother’s a lil bit faster than ya? Ya got a hell of a lot better endurance than he does. Sooner or later, Sonic’s gonna run outta gas, and you’ll be able tah go the distance.” Royal commented.
“But I don’t want to wait! I want to beat that jerk face, and I want to do it now!”
The orange-red unicorn sighed. “Look, Astro, it’s like mah Mama always says, these things-”
“I know what your Mom says, idiot! But where’s waiting gotten you, huh? You’re still a Blank Flanks!”
Silence filled the air around them as the words hit. Noteworthy raised one hoof to his mouth, his eyes filled with incredulousness at what his friend had just said. The pain in Royal’s eyes was unimaginable, only matched by the guilt in Astro’s.
“Ah… Ah think Ah’m just gonna head home now.” Royal muttered, taking all the bags from Noteworthy, his head low as he stalked towards the farm.
“Royal, wait, I didn’t mean it like- OW!”
Noteworthy bit the other’s tail, pulling him back to the ground.
“Dude! What was that for?”
“Let ‘im go. He’s gonna need a lil while tah himself.”
Astro hesitated, glancing at the disappearing red stallion, then sighed, dropping to the ground. “Fine. I’ll just apologize later. Anyway, back to my problem. There’s gotta be a way for me to get faster in like, no time at all!”
The pale yellow Earth pony sighed, closing his eyes. “Ah don’t know what tah tell ya, man. Unless ya somehow develop magical abilities or something, yer just gonna have tah-“
Astro’s eyes lit up, the way they did whenever he got what he called, “The most awesomest idea EVER!” (Which usually backfired horribly and ended with somepony’s house becoming a large, useless pile of whatever the house was constructed from).
“THAT’S IT! MAGIC!” He shouted, pulled his friend into a hug.
“Uh, pardon?”
“Duh! We’ll just ask Twilight if she’s got a spell to make me faster than my stupid brother! Noteworthy, you’re a genius!”
The shy pony blushed at this, but then quickly snapped out of this. “Uh, isn’t this sorta thing more Miss Zecora’s jurisdiction?”
“I’ve got no clue what you just said, but I’m thinking that’s a really bad idea. Remember that story your Auntie Applebloom always tell us about that time she tried to use one of Zecora’s concoctions to get her Cutie Mark and ended up with like, a hundred Cutie Marks?”
“Ah don’t think Ah can forget the tale of The Cutie Pox. Guess we can’t try that.”
“Exactly, my fellow manly pony! Now c’mon, we’ve got a spell to get!”
“We’re manly ponies?”

Meanwhile, at the library

“Hm… Fascinating…” A grayish-amber unicorn filly mumbled as she looked through a book at least the size of her head. Her short, dark indigo mane with purple and pink streaks fell in her face, but she quickly pushed it away. “Spike!”
“Yea- OOF!” The young dragon yelped in pain as he tripped and tumbled down the wooden stairs of the library. No longer was the purple reptile a baby, he was well into dragon adolescence, and as such prone to stumbling over his own gangly legs.
“Quit goofing around, Spike, this is important!”
“I’m fine, thanks for asking.” The green-eyed dragon muttered as he stalked over to the filly. “What is it, Andy?”
Andromeda Pleiades, called Andy, pointed at the page. “Look at this photo here.”
The old photograph depicted a young stallion with a messy mane and a silly expression, standing next to a young Marey, Queen of Scoots, making a similar expression. An hourglass adorned the stallion’s flanks.
“… Why am I looking at a picture of an old Queen of Scootsland?”
“Not the Queen you wanker! The stallion!” Andy turned a few pages. “Look! Here he is again, with Queen Elizabooth I of Trottingham near the end of her reign! That’s decades apart, but he looks the exact same!”
“You realize it’s probably a different pony, right?”
The filly groaned, smacking a hoof to her forehead. “Spike, it can’t be a different pony! They look exactly the same! It’s just too convenient to be a simple coincidence!”
“Well what do you call it, then?”
But Andy wasn’t paying attention. Already she had pulled out a new book and was flipping through it.
“I know it’s in here somewhere- Ah-HA! Here it is!”
“What? What is it this time?”
Quickly the unicorn shoved the book in his face. “This! Since the nineteenth century, ponies from all over the world have claimed to have seen a weird pony who’s description fits the pictures and his blue Police Box that’s bigger on the inside! He travels through time, through space, one time he went outside the Universe! There’s only one explanation, Spike: The Doctor is real.”
The dragon stared at her for a second, then groaned. “Oh, Celestia, you’re still on about that guy? How many times do your mother and I have to tell you? The Doctor is just an old pony tale!”
“That’s what they said about Nightmare Moon, but look! She’s real! So why can’t the Doctor be real too?” Andy argued, taking the book (titled “The Doctor: Real or Pony Tale?”) away and placing it back on the shelf.
“Andy, listen. All this stuff about the Doctor just doesn’t add up. Think about it! If there really was such a stallion, why did Nightmare Moon even take over Princess Luna?”
Andy tried to find a reply, but words failed her.
“See? There’s just no way someone like that exists. It’s like Santa Hooves and the Easter Bunny.”
“It is not like those things! No fat old stallion could travel that fast and not experience heart failure! And if there was an Easter Bunny, the eggs wouldn’t go rotten in a week. The Doctor is real, Spike, and as Celestia is my witness, I’ll find him and prove to you and to Mum that he exists!”
Spike snorted. “Good luck with that.”
Just then, a pale blue blur blew open the door, immediately crashing into a nearby bookshelf, effectively knocking out several books.
“You’re later than usual, Astro.” Andy commented, not looking up from her book.
Currently, the deep-rose-eyed pony was upside down, hind hooves hanging in front of his face. “Heh-heh, sorry, Andy.”
Noteworthy ran inside. “Astro, please, wait for- Oh, hello, Andy and Spike, how are you?”
“Fine, except that Miss Magic Hourglass’s obsession is getting on my nerves.” Spike commented, referring to Andy’s Cutie Mark, a small silvery hourglass with pale blue sparkles arranged to be swirled around it like a ribbon.
The filly glared at the dragon. “Shove it, git. What can I help you with, boys?”
Astro got up. “Where’s your Mom? I need a spell to make me even faster than that stupid Sonic!”
“Mum’s still in Canterlot visiting the Princesses. She won’t be back til tonight at the least. And in any case, there aren’t any spells like that. At least, no permanent ones. Besides, Mum’s too much of a goody-good to help you cheat hard work. You’ll get no magic from her.”
Astro stamped his hooves in anger. “Dammit! Doesn’t anypony else want to show up that snobby jerk?!”
“Of course they do, but magic’s not the answer for your problems. You’ll have to work hard if you-” Midsentence, Andy stopped.
“What’s wrong-?”
“Shh!” She whispered, cutting him off.
“Oh, no, you did not just-”
Andy covered her friend’s mouth. “Shh! Do you hear that?”
Silence. Then, barely audible, a whirring sound, like gears in a machine, echoed around the library.
“What is that?”
“Bloody ‘ell should I know? Hey, it’s getting loud-”
That was the last thing she said before Noteworthy screamed and Spike tackled all three out of the way of the strange object came crashing in through the window, landing exactly where the three had been standing.
“Is… is everypony okay?”
A few coughs, but the three replied that they were fine.
The smoke from impact cleared, and the object became visible. A large blue box, door side up, whirred softly, getting quieter and quieter until it stopped completely.
Andy gasped. “OH MY LUNA!”
“What?! What is it?! Is it bad?!”
“Are you daft?! Do you know what this is?! It’s the-”
Just as she was about to explain, the door of the odd box swung open, emitting even more smoke. A pair of grayish-amber hooves latched onto the sides, hoisting up its owner, who immediately began a coughing fit.
“Blimey! Well, that’s the last time I try offering to teach Cloptroians how to dance the tango!”
The grayish amber stallion’s eyes were a pale shade of a light grayish-azure color, and his dark amber mane was a mess. When he got out of the box, his Cutie Mark was revealed to be an hour glass.
“Now then, where and when exactly am I…? Ah, good, natives! You there, Pegasus boy! What year, month, day, hour and minute is it?”
Still a bit shocked, Astro answered the strange stallion’s questions.
“Ah, I see! A wonderful year this is. Except for August. Stay indoors. And where am I?”
“Uh… Ponyville, Equestria.”
The weird stallion stopped. “Ponyville, huh… I haven’t been here since…”
Andy found her voice. “OH MY CELESTIA! It’s you! It’s really, truly you! I can’t believe this!”
The stallion turned to the excited filly, looking confused. “Do I know you?”
“No, but I know you! Oh, this is fantastic!” Andy grinned smugly at Spike. “I told you so! I told you he was real!”
Spike was still too shocked to answer. Or react, to be honest.
“Okay, who the heck is this guy?!”
“Ah, glad you asked. I’m the-”
“He’s the Doctor!” Andy squealed excitedly.
“The Doctor? Doctor who?” Noteworthy inquired.
“Just the Doctor, my dear filly.” The Doctor replied.
“Um… I’m a colt, actually.”
“Really? Are you quite sure about that?”
“Pretty sure, yeah. Um… what’s that box you’ve got there?”
The Doctor and Andy wore matching grins as they both turned to the blue box.
“This, young ones, is the TARDIS. It stands for-”

“Time and Relative Dimensions in Space. Its function is to take its occupants wherever- or whenever- they want to go. It’s a lot bigger on the inside, right?”
The Doctor blinked. “Erm, yes. How… how exactly did you know that?”
“Oh, I know a lot about you! There are all sorts of stories about your adventures!” Andy went on to babble about everything she knew about the Doctor, which included a long list of every companion he’d had, beginning at his first incarnation down to his latest.
“Impressive. And a bit creepy to be honest.”
“Well, I can’t help but try to learn all I can about you. I mean, travelling through time and space? Brilliant! I can’t imagine what’s it’s like to- Oh my Celestia, please let me look in the TARDIS! Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!”
“Knock yourself out.”
Squealing excitedly, the filly jumped into the open Police Box. “Dear Luna, it totally looks like I imagined! THIS IS THE BEST DAY EVER!!!!”
“Is she quite alright?” The Doctor asked.
“She’s fine. Andy’s just naturally kind of crazy. We’re pretty sure she gets it from her Mom.”
“And… Who is her Mum?”
Just then, the door opened. “Andy, I’m back from Canter- WHAT IN THE NAME OF CELESTIA?!”
Andy poked her head out of the blue box. “Mum! Mum! He’s real! He’s really truly real! And the TARDIS really is bigger on the inside! Can you believe it?”
Twilight stared at the Doctor. “… D… Doctor?”
“T-Twilight?! T-Twilight Sparkle?! Wait, you’re this filly’s Mum?!”
Twilight looked away. “… Y-Yes. Andy is my daughter.”
The time-traveler’s eyes widened, a shocked expression dawning on his features. “B-But… That would mean… Unless you’ve…”
“Not since then, no. There’s nopony else I’ve been with but you.”
“Then… I’m… Oh, dear…” And with that, the Doctor fell to the floor.
“MUM! What in the name of Celestia did you do to him?!”
“I… I just told him the truth!”
“And what, pray tell, is this truth?!” The filly yelled, stalking over to her mother.
Twilight sighed. “Honey, there’s something… something I need to tell you. When I was younger, I… I was one of the Doctor’s companions. We… we were very close. Very close.”
Andy blinked. “Ignoring… Ignoring the fact that you’ve been lying to me all my life about the Doctor’s existence, where are you going with this?”
“Um… well, you see, the Doctor… is kinda your sire.”
And with that, Andy passed out.

Discord's Modern Life

Chapter 3: Discord’s Modern Life
Sometimes Discord missed his days of creating chaos and tormenting the princesses.
And being all mismatched. That had been fun. But being an alicorn was alright, he supposed. Better than being frozen in stone for all eternity.
He had her to thank for that. If she hadn’t shown ol’ Tia that it was possible for someone to care about someone like him, he’d still be a statue. True, he’d lost most of his powers, though he was still able to cause a little chaos every now and again, since Tia had decided that there needed to be a balance between chaos and harmony.
And she’d loved him for him, can’t forget that. Without her love, his chance of remaining unfrozen would’ve gone right down the drain. She was the first pony in millennia to care so deeply about him, the first to show him compassion, to not treat him as though he were simply a monster, a creature of chaos.
There had been a time when he’d been foolish, thinking he could return to power, but… without Discord realizing it, she’d become so much more important to him than even ruling the world. He’d only realized it when he’d nearly lost her, how much he needed her in his life, how much he loved her back.
Still, even with that in mind, he still missed his days as a powerful spirit of chaos, when everypony feared and respected him.
“Daddy!”
But then his darling Swirl Blitz would tackle him from seemingly out of nowhere (actually, it probably was nowhere, knowing his daughter. She was so weird), and Pinkie Pie would bounce into the room and start babbling aimlessly about whatever had just happened in town, and he’d think to himself, I couldn’t ask for a better life.

“SWIRL!”
The off-white alicorn looked up at the sound of her name. “Who is it?”
“It’s the pizza stallion. Who the bloody hell do you think it is?!”
Swirl bounced over the door, much like her mother always would. “Hiya, Andy! What’s up? Ooh, did you find another book on those weird cupcake thingamajigers?”
“No, and for the sake of all that’s good in the universe, I hope never to do so. Why was I here… oh, right. THEDOCTORISREALANDHE’SMYSIREMYMUMWASACOMPANIONCANYOUBELIEVEIT?!?!”
The alicorn blinked, trying to process what her friend had just said. “Hon, I have no clue what you just said. Take a deep breath.”
The unicorn filly inhaled deeply and held her breath for a few minutes until she turned purple.
“… Now exhale.”
Andy gasped nearly immediately. “The… Doctor is… real… and he’s… my sire… Mum… Mum was a companion…”
“Oh, that. Well, duh! Jeez, even I knew that, and I’m as ditzy as the mail-mare can be!”
The filly stared at her older friend, jaw hanging open. “THE HELL?! YOU KNEW?! H-HOW?!”
“I’m an alicorn. I know lots of stuff. Did you know that dolphins have the best hearing of any animal? I did!”
“B-But... he didn’t even know! How did you figure it out?!”
“Cutie Mark. Only Time-Lords have any kind of hourglass Cutie Mark, duh!”
Andy blinked. “…T… T-T-Time-Lord… wha…”
Swirl took on a serious expression. “You’re a Time-Lord, Andy.”
“SWIRL! THIS IS NO TIME TO BE MAKING HARRY TROTTER REFERENCES!”

Meanwhile, at the library

“Well. That could’ve gone better, now couldn’t it?”
Twilight glared at her former mate. “Shut up. How was I supposed to tell her that her sire is the one person she’s been searching for since she could read? Oh, sweetie, I know I’ve told you otherwise, but guess what? The Doctor is real and you’re his child! Like that would have been any better!”
The Doctor chuckled nervously. “Heh, I suppose you’re right, love. You always were the smart and logical one.”
Twilight blushed. “Sh-Shut up. What’re you even doing here, anyway? Don’t you have some species to be saving or Nightmares to be slaying or whatever?”
“… Did you know that the tango looks a lot like the Cloptroian war declaration dance?”
Twilight stared at him for a minute, then face-hoofed. “Oh my Celestia, do you go looking for trouble or something?!”
“Oh, trouble’s just the in-between bits! There’s more to be seen, then can ever be seen, more to do, than can ever be-”
“Doctor, that’s The Lion King.”
“It is? Sorry, my mistake. But the point still stands! I’m an explorer, and explore I must!” As he stated that, the Doctor leaned onto the TARDIS, which immediately let out a huge cloud of smoke.
“Once… once that gets f-fixed, of course.” He added in-between coughs. Quickly, his former companion opened a window. Almost immediately, the smoke cleared out, though outside you could hear some pegasi complaining.
“And what about you, Twilight? How have you been? Besides, of course, Andy.”
“Oh, well, I went into research, mostly on the history of Equestria. I wrote a couple books… bestsellers, actually.”
“Really?! That’s brilliant, love!”
Again, Twilight blushed. “I-It’s not that big of a deal. Really, I’m just glad that I’m making a difference.”
The Doctor smiled at her. “Same old Twilight, eh? Glad to hear it! Well, since the TARDIS probably won’t be up and running for a bit, how about you show me round town? I’d love to see how the old place has changed.”
“Sure, why not? I’ll have to warn you, though; things have changed since the last time you were here.”
“Oh, come on, how different could it be?”

Fifteen minutes later…

“Stay behind me, everypony! This is a dangerous spirit, and he can’t be trusted!”
Twilight face-hoofed and groaned, partially at the Doctor’s actions, but also at her lack of foresight. She probably should have explained about Discord prior to visiting Sugarcube Corner.
The aforementioned alicorn, however, only looked extremely amused. “Oh, Doctor. For someone who has so much to do with time, you don’t seem to be keeping up with it.”
A slight look of confusion passed over the Doctor’s face, but he quickly straightened and narrowed his gaze. “Don’t try to faze me, monster! I won’t fall for it!”
Twilight sighed, trotting over to her former mate and taking the Sonic Screwdriver from him. “He’s not trying to trick you, idiot! Discord isn’t bad, hasn’t been for years!”
The Doctor blinked a few times and stared at her. “What, seriously?”
“Yes, seriously! For the love of Luna, he married Pinkie Pie and had a kid!”
“I’m not a baby goat!”
“Not that kind of kid, Swirl.”
"Oh."
Still a bit wary of the former spirit of chaos, the Doctor lowered his guard. "Erm. Well, then. I apologize, Discord."
The alicorn laughed a bit. "Actually, I expected that sort of reaction from you. Really, I'd have been surprised if you'd said 'Hello' and-"
Suddenly, Pinkie Pie gasped. "OOH! Twitchy tail! Something BIG's gonna happen! And soon!"
Everypony in the room (with the exception of the Doctor) froze. The aforementioned Time Lord looked around in confusion.
"What? Why are you lot just standing 'round like a bunch of logs?"
Suddenly, outside the house, somepony screamed.
"What was that?"
Again, nopony answered him as they all ran through the door of Sugarcube Corner, only to be nearly run over by a stampede of ponies.
"HOLY-"
Suddenly, Pinkie gasped again. This time, her tail was twitching and her entire body was shaking. "That wasn't it!"
"What?! What's bigger than a stampede-?"
"GIT BACK HERE YA NO GOOD FLYIN' VARMINTS!"
"Applejack?"
Said mare was currently chasing after something unseen, which soon came into vision.
A horde of parasprites.
Still Pinkie's shaking didn't cease. "Not that either!"
Twilight turned to her, eye twitching. "But... how can it not be the parasprites?! That's a pretty big thing-"
"EXTERMINATE." A thousand robotic voices monotoned at once. Twilight's ears fell as her eyes widened.
"Doctor." She said in a scarily calm voice.
"Y-Yes, love?"
"Please tell me those aren't what I think they are."
"... Are you thinking that they're daleks?"
"DAMMIT I TOLD YOU NOT TO TELL ME THAT!"
Finally, Pinkie stopped shaking. "Ooh! So the scary robot things are the surprise! Cool!"
"No, Miss Pie, this is not cool. This is about a bus, three walks, and a long cab ride from cool. Because at the moment, since the TARDIS is dead, I do believe that we are screwed."

Going the Distance

Chapter 4: Going the Distance

"Is it working yet?!"
The Timelord glared at his former mate. "I'm doing the best that I can, Twilight, but if the TARDIS is down, there's not much to be done about it!"
Twilight's eye twitched again as her mane started to become disheveled and wild. "We're all gonna die..."
"Mum! This is no time for a nervous breakdown! This is the time to pull some sort of miracle out of our flanks!"
"Ah have an idea." Royal commented. Nopony seemed to hear him over the panic, though.
Pinkie Pie, meanwhiled, glared at her filly and mate. "Did you two mess with the fabric of reality and not invite me again?"
"Of course not, my dear! Not after the ice queen act last time..." Discord stated, muttering the last part under his breath.
She hardened her gaze. "Do you swear?"
"Yup!" Swirl said, bouncing up and down.
"Of course."
"Do you... Pinkie Pie Swear?!"
Discorde sighed. "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." He recited with his daughter, doing the promise's well-known motions.
Immediately Pinkie went back to her normal self. "Okey dokey Lokie! Now let's figure out how to fix this big 'ol mess before the princess has to swoop in and save the day!"
"Yes, because I need even more humiliation thanks to that stick in the mud." Discord deadpanned, following his mate.
"Uh, y'know, Ah think Ah've got an-"
Suddenly, Rarity screamed. "GAH! OH MY CELESTIA!"
Braeburn raced over to her side. "Dumplin'? What is it? What's wrong?"
"D-Darling, I-I don't wish to- ngh- alarm you, b-but I- oh sweet mercy- do believe that I've gone into labor!"
The cowpony's eyes widened comically. "What?! Are ya sure?!"
"Braeburn, we have a child currently, correct? I think I know what labor feels like!"
"Huh... buh... whuh... ohhh..."
"Mother, I believe that it would be wise to take Daddy to a doctor. A medical doctor, I mean, not the weird pony with the box."
"Hey! This 'weird pony with the box' is trying to keep your home from being completely destroyed!"
"Ugh! Standing around and panicking isn't gonna fix anything! C'mon, boys, let's kick some robot flank!" Rainbow Dash yelled, starting for the door. Soarin' grabbed her tail.
"Baby, I really don't think that's a great idea."
"I'm gonna have to go with Dad on this one, Mom. Those things aren't exactly clouds." Astro commented. Sonic nodded in agreement.
Royal sighed and surveyed the library, their current hiding place. At the moment, his mother was simultaneously attempting to get Rarity through labor, bark orders to Stardust, and keep Braeburn from losing it. The Doctor was cursing while trying to reboot the TARDIS while Twilight was having a minor nervous breakdown and Andy was trying to help both of them. Soarin', Astro and Sonic were holding down Rainbow Dash to keep her from doing something that would most likely get her killed. His uncle and youngest (for an unknown amount of time) cousin were attempting to coax a shivering mass he guessed was Noteworthy and Fluttershy out from under a blanket. And he had no idea what Pinkie, Swirl and Discord were trying to do.
That was it. "EVERYPONY SHUT UP!!!!!" The unicorn bellowed, slamming his hooves on the hardwood floor.
Immediately silence fell upon the room.
"Thanks. Listen tah me! Panickin' and hollerin' ain't gonna fix this! We need a plan, and Ah got one!"
First he turned to the Time and Magic trio. "Twilight! Calm yer hooves! You and Andy need tah make a magic barrier that'll keep the robots and the pests in Ponyville! Doctor, keep workin' on that time travel thingamajig."
Then he turned to the Labor group. "Braeburn! Deep breaths! Stardust! Run upstairs and git some blankets and hot water! Rarity! Push! Mama! Git yer rope!"
Next, Royal turned to the Blue Pegasi. "Rainbow! You, Soarin' and Sonic fly as fast as ya can tah get the robots and the bugs in one place with Mama! Astro, go find Nurse Tenderheart!"
"Aw, why do I-"
"NO WHININ'!"
Astro quickly shut up.
Finally, Royal turned to the remaining Apples. "Uncle Mac! You best git a rope too! Auntie Shy and Noteworthy! Git yer flanks out from under the blanket and help Rarity!"
"What can I do, cuz?" Apple Heart inquired, eyes shining with excitement.
"Apple Heart! You... go play with some toys or somethin'."
The filly's face dropped and turned to an expression of annoyance. "Meanie."
"Hey! What about us, Royal?" Pinkie Pie asked, both her and her child bouncing up and down.
"Uh... do whatever you think will make this not worse or somethin'."
"Okie Dokie Lokie! Does anypony know where a trombone is?"
Royal smiled as everypony got down to business. "Alright, let's do this!"

Royal's plan worked perfectly. Thanks to his leadership, Team Herders (The Blue Pegasi and Elder Apple Siblings) were able to rope up all the daleks and the parasprites together under the magic barrier Twilight and Andy created, just as the Doctor fixed the TARDIS and got the daleks back to where they came from and the Chaos trio used an assortment of instruments to get the bugs out of the town and into the forest. Meanwhile, Astro brought in the nurse and, with the help of her, Fluttershy, Noteworthy, and Stardust, Rarity delivered a healthy white colt with a golden mane, and Braeburn avoided a nasty panic attack.
"It's all thanks tah you, sugarcube. Ah'm real proud of ya, Royal." Applejack said, nuzzling her child.
"We all are." Twilight amended. Everypony nodded in agreement.
Royal blushed, though it was hard to tell with his coat coloring. "Ah, shucks, everypony, it wasn't that big of a-"
Suddenly, Apple Heart gasped. "Royal! Lookit yer flank!"
"Wha- OH MAH LUNA!"
A golden crown with a green-apple shaped gem adorned the stallion's previously unmarked flanks.
"Dude! Your Cutie Mark! You've finally got it!"
"Wait, what does it mean? You ain't got no crown or nuthin'."
"Well, traditionally, a crown symbolizes sovereignty, or command of a kingdom. I think in this case, it symbolizes a talent for leading ponies."
"So mah special talent... is leadership?" Royal blinked. Then, all of a sudden, the air about him changed. "Why, that's simply marvelous! I mean, I've always been rather adept at making plans, but I could never have predicted it would be my talent! How grand!"
Everypony blinked. "Um, is it just me, or did his accent just change?" The Doctor asked, pointing to the stallion in question.
Royal tilted his head in confusion. "Whatever do you mean, Doctor? This is the same manner in which I've always spoken, is it not?"
Apple Heart, with green eyes wide, slowly shook her head. "Nuh-uh, Royal. Ya don't sound like ya normally do. Yer voice is all funny. Ya kinda sound like those fashion ponies from Canterlot that came 'round here once."
Royal's eyes widened. "But... I've never even been to Canterlot, so..." He cleared his throat. "It ain't possible that Ah can talk like that."
"Well, I think you sound extremely well-mannered when you speak in that manner, darling." Rarity commented, still laying down with her newborn son, Autumn Gold.
Nervously, Royal turned to his mother. "Mama, what's goin' on? How come Ah can talk all fancy-like?"
Applejack swallowed, something like pain in her eyes. "Ah... Ah gotta git home."
And with that, the mare ran off.

Later, near Sweet Apple Acres...

Royal sighed, staring out into the distance. After that little spectacle at the library, his mother had refused to exit her room, even for food or companionship.

And that wasn't all. When he had spoken like that... It had reminded him of a recurring dream. In it, he'd been standing in a grand hall, ponies cheering and celebrating. And next to him, a pony he didn't know had smiled welcomingly. He couldn't make out his face, but something told him that he was important, and this place... it was where he was supposed to go.

As the sun set, Royal remembered an old melody he'd heard long ago, and began to sing.

"I have often dreamed,
Of a far off place,
Where a great, warm welcome,
Will be waitin' for me.
Where the crowd will cheer,
When they see my face,
And a voice keeps sayin',
'This is where I'm meant to be'..."

Royal stood up, the light of day fading as the stars appeared one by one and Luna's domain came into power.

"I will find my way,
I can got the distance,
I'll be there, someday,
If I can be strong.
I know every mile,
Will be worth my while.
I would go most anywhere
To feel like I belong."

Again, the stallion sighed, his head dropping. "Like that'll ever happen."
"And why can't it?"
Royal jumped, fully prepared to attack whoever was there.
"Whoa! Calm down, it's just me, just the Doctor!"
The younger stallion dropped his attack stance as the Time Lord came out of the shadows. "Wha... How long have you been standin' there?"
"Long enough. You're a fantastic singer, by the way. In any case, there's no reason your dream can't come true, now is there?" The Doctor handed Royal a map. "This is a map to Canterlot, printed around next Thursday. A pony like you is made for bigger things than apple farming, Mr. Royal Red, and trust me, I know a bit about great ponies." With that, he disappeared back into the shadows.
Royal looked down at the map, then back at the farm, then back at the map again. A look of determination spread across his features.
"Ah'm no apple farmer."

After gathering a few things, Royal quietly made his way out of the farmhouse, making sure to leave a note about why he wasn't there anymore.

As he left the bridge to Ponyville behind him, the melody of that song came back to him and he started to sing again.

"I am on my way,
I can go the distance!
I don't care how far!
Somehow I'll be strong!
I know every mile,
Will be worth my while.
I would go most anywhere
To find where I belong."

As the gates of Canterlot came into his view, the weary young stallion visibly brightened. All the ponies, all the tall buildings! He'd never seen anything like it! He... had no clue where he was supposed to go now.
Hopelessness washed over him as he groaned and sat down, burying his face in his hooves.
"Ah shoulda known this was a terrible idea."
"PARDON US STRANGE MALE PONY!" A booming voice bellowed at him, nearly blowing him over.
"Celestia, ain't ya heard of-" He stopped, his jaw dropping at the sight of the dark blue Princess of the night, who looked a bit sheepish.
"Oh, my most sincere apologies! Old habits die hard, I suppose. Um, if thee does not mind my asking, why doth thee look so despondent?"
Royal stared for a moment, then swallowed. "Uh... Well, Yer Highness, Ah came tah Canterlot 'cuz, well, Ah was hopin' tah find out where Ah belong, but... Ah don't know how Ah'm s'posed to go about that."
"How troubling! Hm... I pray thee tell, wouldst thy name by any chance be that of a Royal Red Apple?"
Royal cocked his head in confusion. "How the hay did ya know mah name?"
A grin lit up the dark princess's face. "Huzzah! I was just about to make for Ponyville to fetch thee! Come, my sister hath requested thy presence in the Royal Court!"
"Wha- WHOA! H-Hey, slow down, Princess!"

At Canterlot Castle
"I am the mother of this child, not this imposter!"
"Lies! The colt is mine, you thieving wench!"
Celestia sighed. "You do realize that there's such a thing as a maternity test, right?"
The two mares looked at each other, then sheepishly backed out of the castle.
"What did they expect me to do, suggest we cut the colt in half?"
The doors blew open. "SISTER, WE GREET THEE!" Luna boomed, nearly deafening all in earshot.
"Indoor voice, little sis."
Luna blushed a bit. "Sorry. I have brought to thee the young stallion who's presence thou hath requested." At that, she pulled in the awestruck (and exhausted) Royal.
Celestia smiled. "Great job, Lulu! Come in, my young subject."
Royal stood at the entrance, frozen in a sea of emotion.
Celestia sighed once more, walking over to the pony. "Okay, I know this is probably all really overwhelming, but I just want to speak with you. Actually, there's somepony I want you to-"
Suddenly, a guard blew a trumpet. "Presenting his Royalness, Prince Blueblood!"
A tall, pompous looking white stallion with a golden mane the same shade as Royal's trotted into the Royal Throne Room, a look of annoyance on his face.
"Alright, Aunt Celestia, what have you called me here for? I'll have you know that I canceled an important meeting for this!"
"Doth thee refer to thy appoitment with thine hairstylist?" Luna deadpanned.
The prince scowled at her, then turned his attention to Royal. "And just who would this filthy commoner be?"
Royal glared at him. "Hey! Listen, ya spoiled brat of a stallion! Ah don't care who ya are or what yer title is, Ah'm every bit as good as you are!"
Blueblood's eyes widened. "Y-You... what you said... How did you-"
Celestia snickered. "My dear nephew, do you remember that mare you once had a romantic link to? I believe it was the Element of Honesty, Miss Applejack."
Blueblood recoiled in shock. "H-How did you know that?!"
"Pfft. Everypony knew that! It was quite obvious, what with all the trips to Ponyville, thy improved mood, the fact that thee went over a fortnight without firing a single servant or guard..."
The Prince blushed a bit. "W-Well, what does that have to with this kid here?"
Celestia grinned wickedly. "Soon after you and Applejack broke off the relationship, she found out she was with foal."
Blueblood's eyes widened even more. "Y-You don't mean... Th-This is..."
"Indeed I do. Nephew, this is your son, Royal Red Apple."
With that statement, both father and son passed out.
"Yep, definitely related."

What the HAY is goin' on here?!

Chapter 5: What the HAY is goin' on here?!

The Next Morning, Sweet Apple Acres...

Applejack stared at her son's door, currently in a battle of wills between her desire to see her only child, and the part of her that still was hesitant to face up to the truth. Though she was the manifestation of the Element of Honesty, there were just some truths she knew that hurt too much to admit.

But as a mother, it was her duty to do whatever she could for her child. The maternal side of Applejack beat out the fearful, and she knocked on Royal's bedroom door.

"Sugarcube? You awake?"

No answer was heard from the other side. Either he was still sleeping, or he really didn't want to see her.

Applejack sighed. "Royal, listen tah me, okay? Ah know Ah'm the last pony you'd want tah be talkin' to right now, but... Look, the reason ya know how tah talk all fancy and fru-fru is cuz' of yer Daddy. Ah probably shoulda told ya 'bout him a long time ago, but if you'll just come out and talk tah me, Ah'll explain everything, okay?"

Still no answer. Applejack was beginning to get frustrated and impatient. "Sugarcube, Ah want you tah open this door right- Huh?"

Unlike usually, Royal's door was unlocked. The orange mare opened up the door, only to find an empty bed.

"H-He's... up already? What in tarnation...?"

Twenty minutes later...

Applejack was starting to panic. Already she'd checked the barn, the coop, most of the apple orchard, everywhere she could think of on the farm, but there was no sign of Royal.

"Dammit, where is he?!"

Suddenly, a note taped to the oven caught her eye.

"What...?"

Dear Mama, Uncle Macintosh, Auntie Shy, and Cousins,

I'm sorry, but I can't stay any longer. I'm an adult now, and I gotta find my own way.
That way isn't here in Ponyville. I don't know where it is, but I'll never find it if I just sit around here waiting. I wish there was another way, but there isn't. I love you all.
Love,
Royal Red Apple.

P.S. I took one of the pies we had in the icebox. Hope ya'll don't mind too much.

Tears welled up in the orange mare's green eyes. "No..." She whispered chokingly.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Everypony else in the house woke with a start at Applejack's wails. They all raced down to the kitchen, only to find Applejack bawling on the nearby sofa.
"A-Applejack?! Wh-What's wrong, why're you crying? Where's... Where's Royal?" Fluttershy stammered, rushing over to her friend's side.
The country mare immediately latched onto the pegasus. "H-He's... H-He's gone!!! Royal ran away f-from ho-ooo-ome!"
"WHAT?!"

Meanwhile, at the Palace...

Royal yawned, looking out at the rising sun. True, he could have slept in a bit, but he was so used to getting up early, his body had woken up at 5:30 A.M, on the dot.

Oh, well. It did give him time to think. And after the events of yesterday, there was plenty to think about.

1: He, Royal Red Apple, was the some comical amount of greats-nephew of Equestria's co-rulers, the Princesses Celestia and Luna.

2: Up until yesterday, he had been unaware that, outside of each other, the princesses even had any relatives.

3: Also up until yesterday, his father, Prince (more properly Duke, he added) Blueblood, had no clue that he existed, either.

5- no, wait... #4: His mother, the so-called Element of Honesty, had apparently not seen fit to tell him any of this.

On the subject of the first thing, was he technically considered royalty now? His parents had never married, but didn't being the offspring of a royal automatically make you one as well? Though he'd be an illegitimate heir, Royal still did count as part of Celestia's bloodline. Him, a simple farm pony! Royalty!

Next the second. How, exactly, was Blueblood related to the Princesses? He'd never heard of either Princess ever marrying, or giving birth, though it seemed as he was both of their great-to-the-Nth-power-nephew, so did that mean there were other alicorns way back in the day? He'd ask later.

Thirdly, why hadn't Blueblood been aware that his mother had a foal? Did they not see each other ever again after the break-up? He'd already surmised the answer to why they hadn't married: When he was a little colt, he'd asked his mother why she wasn't married. The answer? "Ah am married. To Sweet Apple Acres!"

Finally, the fourth. Why hadn't Mama told him this? Her Honesty saved Equestria, so why had she never told him the truth when he asked? Hadn't he a right to know who his sire was?

Royal sighed. The only place his thoughts were leading him were circles.

"May as well see if anypony else is up..."

Quietly, as not to disturb the Lunar Princess's slumber (something in his gut said he'd probably lose his hearing upon accidently rousing her from sleep), Royal made his way out of the bedchambers to find something interesting to do.

Upon entering the Royal Recreational Facility, however, the red-orange pony made a discovery. Several, actually.

The Recreational Facility was about the combined size of at least five orchards.
The pony in charge of the facility was not a pony, but rather a snarky, emotionless robot.
His father was surprising talented at athletics.

"Oh, come now, Betsy. I know you can do better. Or has discovering you knocked up some country hick deteriorated your endurance?" The she-robot taunted his father from a large screen.
Blueblood felt the anger well up inside of him. Luna, he despised that stupid A.I. If she wasn't a major scientific marvel, he'd order her torn apart, then have the parts smashed with mallets, then incinerated. But first he'd have her intelligence transferred into something demeaning and a preferred food source for birds so she could watch as her body was destroyed. A potato, perhaps. That would take her down a peg or fifty.
Using that anger as a form of adrenaline, the prince began to smack the fifty pound punching bag even harder, beating on it more and more until it finally flew off the chain connecting it to the ceiling and landing at Blueblood's feet.
"Well. That was... adequate. I must say, I'm quite disappointed. I'd expected somepony with your ability to have broken the chain in at least one moment less." The cruel A.I turned her optic to the spectator. "Oh, look, Melinda, it's the illegitimate child of your former warden. Thankfully, it seems he takes after her more than you."
The two stallions stared at each other, unsure of how to start a conversation without it being mortifyingly awkward.
"You seem to be at a standstill. Oh, look at that. That chubby old cook is attempting to swim. I never thought I'd find someone more fun to torment than you, Petunia, but I suppose the fatter you are, the more fun to taunt. Though you're a close second. Ta-ta." With that, the large screen switched off, and the father and son were alone.
Blue cleared his throat. "Well... this is rather awkward, isn't it?"
"Eeyup."

A few hours later, at the library...

"What do mean, he's gone?! How could he just up and disappear like that?" Twilight questioned, extremely concerned.
Applejack sniffled. By now, her eyes were bloodshot, her throat was sore, and her face was soaked in tears. "Ah told ya, Ah found a note in the kitchen from him sayin' he'd taken off with a pie to go find his destiny or somethin'! Luna, what coulda made him do this tah me?!"
"I think I have an idea..." Twilight murmured, slowly turning to glare at the Doctor, who looked shocked at the accusation.
"Wha- Me?! Y-You think... You think I did this?! Twilight Sparkle! How dare you, madam! I would never convince a pony with such potential that there's more to life than farming! I am appalled."
Twilight's glare only became stronger at his defense. "Doctor, I traveled with you for three years. I know when you're lying. What. Did. You. Do?!"
The Doctor trembled for a moment, then broke down. "Okay, fine! I heard him singing about how he wanted to find where he belonged! So I gave him a map to Canterlot! By the way, Miss Applejack, your boy's one hell of a singer, congrats."
"Doctor! Focus! Why did you give him a map to Canterlot? What's there for him?"
"Oh, nothing, just the one pony he's been missing all his life."
Twilight blinked. "Wha-?"
Applejack sprung up, pushing the unicorn out of the way to glare maliciously at the Time Lord. "YOU SENT MAH ONLY SON TO BLUEBLOOD?!"
"Er... was that a bad thing?"
"YES IT WAS YA IDJIT!"
"Wait a second. What does that pompous jerk have anything to do with our current problem?"
"Oh, Blueblood is Royal's long lost sire. You didn't know that?"
Fluttershy, Twilight, and the foals stood in shock. "WHAT?!" Big Macintosh just stared, speechless.
Applejack looked as if she might just rip out one of the Doctor's hearts. "You are so dead, Time-Boy."
The Doctor gulped audibly, then began running for his life. And screaming like a filly. "AHHHH!"
Applejack chased after him. "GIT BACK HERE SO AH CAN MURDER YOU!"
Andy snapped out of her daze and started to pursue them. "Wait, Miss Applejack! He doesn't have that many regenerations left!"

Meanwhile, at Canterlot Castle...

The two stallions had decided that the Rec. Facility wasn't the best place to try to get to know each other better. After Blueblood had showered off, they went into the garden.

Was it prettier? Yes. Did it make the situation at hoof any less awkward? No-siree-Bob, it didn't.

"S-So... um... how's Sweet Apple Acres?"

"It's doin' fine, thanks. Uh... how's bein' a Prince goin' for ya?" What kinda question is that?

"It... has its moments." Luna, this is so uncomfortable...

Royal sighed. "Okay, let's just drop the whole small talk thing. What happened between mah Mama and you? Ah think Ah should know."

Blueblood didn't answer for a moment. Then he sighed. "I may as well get it over with. Very well, it was about nineteen years* ago..."

Flashback

"Blueblood, just where in the hay are ya takin' me to?"

The white unicorn grinned. "You'll see, just be patient. Remember, eyes closed!"

"Ah swear, sugar, if this is a scheme tah get me tah go tah some fancy-flanks party..."

"Oh, trust me, I learnt my lesson last time. Alright, we're here! Open your eyes, my love."

Applejack gasped. The two of them were now on a balcony near the Observatory, overlooking all of Canterlot. Way over in the distance, you could just barely see the dark silhouette of Ponyville.
"Oh, sugarcube." She managed to say. Blueblood grinned.
"Do you like it? It took a lot of convincing to get them to let me rent out the place.
"Ah... Ah love it, honey. You are just the sweetest stallion in Equestria deep down, ain't ya?"
The unicorn blushed, then stood up straight. "Ahem. My Lady Applejack, the reason I have brought you here is... I-I wish to ask you something."
Applejack looked bewildered, but nodded. "Alright, shoot."
He looked over to the bushes, then, using his magic, levitated a medium sized velvet box over to him.
"Applejack, from the day I met you, you were the only pony with the guts to tell me the truth. Not only that, you're the first mare to actually like me for me, not because I'm a prince or rich. I... I love you, and... I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He opened the box to reveal a diamond hoof ring exactly her size. Applejack gasped.
"S-Sugar... cube..."
"Jackie Susan Apple, will you make me the happiest stallion in all of Equestria and... and... Marry me?"
For a moment, Applejack only stared at him, then slowly lifted her hoof to close the box. "Ah... Ah can't. Ah'm sorry, Blueblood."

Present Day

"Mama rejected you?! And her name is Jackie Susan?"
"Yes, and you didn't know that?"
"B-But... why?!"
"I don't know, you'd have to ask Big Macintosh or-"
"Not that! The rejection thing!"
"Oh. Well, I suppose it was because of the farm. She's been dedicated to it all her adult life, so I guess she didn't want to give that up. Anyway, we got into a fight, and long story short, we ended it."
"Did... did you ever regret it?"
"... Yes. Every single day, I regret that I didn't try for her. I regret that I was stupid and didn't see that... she's the only pony I'll ever want to be with for the rest of my life. I regret... that I'll never find somepony like her. I hope... I hope whoever she married appreciates what he has, because I didn't know what I had until I lost it."
"... Mama never married anypony, ya know."
Blueblood's eyes widened. He spun around. "Wh... What?!"
"She never got married. Looks like she never could find somepony else, either."
"S-So... there's still a-"
"BLUEBLOOD!" An accented voice bellowed.
At the gates to the gardens, guards failing to hold her back, stood Applejack. And Celestia, was she pissed off.
"A-Appleja-"
"GIT YER HOOVES AWAY FROM MAH SON!"

*= Assuming that ponies age like humans, Royal is about eighteen years old.

I Will Try To Fix You

Applejack was, to say the very least, completely and totally livid. There were a number of things that possibly could have caused this state. Perhaps it was that her only child had run off and found the one flankhole that she never wanted to see again. Perhaps it was because Twilight and Andy (mostly Andy) wouldn't let her buck the time-traveling idiot that planted the idea in Royal's head into next Thursday, even after she'd made the argument he was probably going to head there anyway.

Whatever the reason, Jackie Susan Apple was pissed. Off. And man, was she hankering to put Bucky McGillygutty and Kicks McGee to good use on somepony. Preferably a spoiled, obnoxious somepony that had a pristine white coat and was quite possibly the world's biggest narcissist.

Royal grinned nervously. "Eh-heh-heh... Howdy, Mama."

The mare turned to glare at her son. "Don't you 'Howdy, Mama' me, mister! What in the hay were ya thinkin' runnin' off like that?! Were ya tryin' tah give me a heart attack?!"

"O-Of course not, Mama! Why would Ah-"

Applejack silenced him with another glare. "You are in so much trouble when we git home, ya hear me? And as fer YOU!" She boomed, turning to Blueblood. "Ah don't want you anywhere near mah son, ya got that? Ah won't have him associatin' with somepony like you!"

Blueblood recoiled, then immediatley bounced back. "He is as much my son as he is yours, Applejack! I'm his father, and-"

"Okay, let's git somethin' straight, Nancy-colt! Yer his sire! It takes a hell of a lot more than knockin' some poor mare up tah call yerself a father!"

"Knocking some mare- I didn't even know you had a child until I met him yesterday! And it was you who refused my proposal! And anyway, I have as much of a right to see my child as you do! A court of law would rule that-"

"And just how do Ah know ya wouldn't bribe the jury, huh?! Who do ya think a bunch o' pompous ponies with sticks up their flanks the size of Marebraska is gonna listen tah, a simple farm pony or the bloodline of the princesses?"

As the former couple became more and more engrossed in their argument, the rest of the residents of Sweet Apple Acres, who, try as they might, couldn't keep up with a mother on a mission, galloped into the garden.

"ROYAL!"

With speed comparable to that of a certain-rainbow maned mare, Fluttershy tackled her nephew into a bone-crushing hug, easily knocking the wind out of him.

"Are you alright? Oh, you gave us such a scare, dear! Please, don't ever frighten us like that again!"

"A-Auntie... Shy... Can't... b-breathe..."

When Fluttershy still didn't release him from her surprisingly strong grip, Big Macintosh stepped in. With a single, "Eeyup", the red stallion gently pulled his wife away from Royal, who audibly gasped for air and began coughing.

"O-Oh, dear... I'm so sorry! I-I was just so worried... and then when you were okay..."

After his face returned to its normal coloration, the stallion smiled weakly.

"I-It's fine, Auntie Shy... Ah know y'all were just worried 'bout me."

Apple Heart, who had been unusually quiet during this exchange, rushed forward.

"Yer darn tootin' we were worried! What in the BUCK were ya thinkin'?! Do ya have ANY idea how scared we were?! Fer all we knew, ya coulda been dead! What kinda dumbflank-"

"HEART LOUISE APPLE!" Fluttershy yelled, which caused the filly to recoil.

"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times! I do not want to hear you, nor hear of you, using language like that! Do you understand me?"

Meekly, the cowering Pegasus nodded.

"Good." Having successfully reprimanded her child, Fluttershy reverted to her more well-known persona. "In any case, Royal, it's so wonderful to see that you're alright."

"Eeyup!" Macintosh and Noteworthy agreed in unison.

Royal smiled, then turned his attention to his parents. The argument was now a full out fight, with both parties clearly insulting each other in the most petty and immature ways possible.

"Well, I don't see why I couldn't at least have known! I'd have been a wonderful father! Just as I am wonderful at everything else I do!"

"Ya see?! That is the exact attitude Ah wanted to keep mah son from seein'! Better he didn't know his pa at all than know he was a spoiled foal like you are!"

"Why I never! And knowing a stubborn, selfish mare like you is his mother is any better?!"

"THAT IS ENOUGH! QUIET, BOTH OF YOU!"

The pair turned in shock to their adult son, who's expression was a mix of anger and exasperation (and voice was somehow free of accent).

"You both ought to be ashamed of yourselves! You're acting like little foals over a new toy! What happened in the past happened, and not even the Doctor can change that!"

Blueblood looked puzzled. "Doctor? Doctor who?"

"Exactly, now don't interrupt! You two are fighting as if I'm still a child able to have custody decided on by a court, but legally I'm an adult and can choose where I wish to go. It should be up to me to choose."

Silence reigned for a moment, then Royal took a deep breath and walked to his father's side.

"R-Royal..." The pain and shock in Applejack's eyes was unimaginable in that moment.

"Mama... I apologize, but... All my life, I've lived at Sweet Apple Acres, and all my life, I've known I don't truly belong there. I want to try living in Canterlot. With my father."

"Sugarcube, Ah-!"

Royal turned away, no longer able to bear looking into his mother's eyes. "Don't... D-Don't make this harder than it has to be, Mama. I... I believe you know the way out. You can leave on your own or have a guard show you the door."

Tears streamed down the mare's face, desperation and despair equal in her eyes. "Royal, Ah'm beggin' ya, please don't-!"

"Goodbye, Mama." Royal began to walk away, and though it wasn't visible to her, his own tears fell as he did so. "Guards, please escort the Apple Family out."

The white, armored pegasi looked to the disappearing red unicorn, then to the white one.

"Do as he says, he's got jurisdiction over you now."

And so, the Apple family was shown out, an orange Earth mare wailing for her son and an orange Pegasus filly cursing her cousin and all he held dear.

Listen to this for full effect! A note: When lyrics are listed, somepony is singing the song, when given a link, the song is in the background.

For a week after the departure of Royal, Applejack refused to leave her room. Even when Royal came by to retrieve his things, she didn't leave to try and convince him to stay. The stubborn, permanently optimistic part of Applejack had died when her son had said goodbye to her.

Nopony else took the news well either. Everytime Apple Heart saw her cousin that day, she cursed him in every way she knew how and chased after him with a broom. Noteworthy couldn't look at him without nearly bursting into tears. Astro refused to talk to him altogether, unless he thought up a rude remark to say to him. Swirl repeatedly popped in out of nowhere to call him a, and I quote, "Meanie-Beanie-Bo-Beanie Pants!", and then tell him, "I hate you, even though you're kind of related to me by adoption, Daddy being the adoptive big brother of your great-great-great-great-great-great- you get the idea- aunts!" Stardust actually wasn't too unkind to him, she simply wished him well, handed him a scarf ("The son of a prince shouldn't catch a cold, no matter what I think of him") and left. Though she did wrap the scarf a little tightly around his neck...

But by far, the worst was Andy. She, Twilight, and the Doctor were currently staying at inside the still-broken TARDIS, as Spike had had a giant growth spurt overnight and had destroyed a good chunk of the library. The good news: The Doctor, having some experience with dragons (and how to train them, but that is another story for another day), estimated he was now full size, which was about five standing ponies from head to tail.

But I digress. When Royal had gone to say goodbye to Andy, she, fueled by rage, turned him into a newt. The unicorn then went onto this rant (in a Scootish accent, no less), "I'm gonna chop ye tah bits an' boil ye up with herbs, spices an' carrots! I'll cook ye at three hundred an' sixty degrees for two hours and let ye simmer for one! Then, when you're all done and smellin' so bleedin' tasty, I'm gonna take ye tah Canterlot and serve ye tah the Prince! And when he asks me, 'Hm, this soup 'ere is delicious! What's your secret?' I'mma tell him that I cannae give away that information, 'cause then he'd have tah kill me and we cannae have that happenin', now can we? QUIT WRIGGLIN', YE BOGGIN' BAMPOT!"

It's a very lucky thing that the Doctor caught her before she got to the knife drawer. After Twilight returned him to his original form, the stallion was out of the spaceship like a shot, and quite ready to get the buck out of Dodge (or in this case, Ponyville).

And that was it. Royal Red Apple was no longer a resident of either Ponyville or Sweet Apple Acres.

(Stop the Music)

Three days after Royal had collected his possesions and moved out officially, another pony came calling.

It was a young mare, barely into young adulthood, pulling a rickety cart filled to the brim with art supplies and unfinished paintings through the gates of Sweet Apple Acres. Her brilliant rose-colored mane was pulled back into a messy bun and held back with a ribbon which used to be blue, but was now splattered with all sorts of shades and hues. Adorning her pale yellow flanks was a paintbrush over a red apple with a bit of green paint on it.

"Someday, Ah'll be, livin' in a big ol' city, and all yer ever gonna be is mean..." The amber-eyed pony sang softly and cheerfully to herself. "Someday, Ah'll be, big enough so you can't hit me, and all yer ever gonna be is mean. Why ya gotta be so mean?"

Finally, the mare arrived at the front door. After hitching the cart to a nearby post, the pony cleared her throat. "SOUP'S ON, EVERYPONY!" In the splitsecond after, the mare braced herself.

With a SLAM! the front door opened, revealing two very excited young ponies and their smiling parents behind them.

"AUNTIE APPLEBLOOM!" The young Earth and Pegasus ponies yelled as they tackled their young aunt, who was laughing hysterically.

"Hiya, guys! How's the farm doin'? Hey, where's mah favorite unicorn?"

Suddenly, the laughter ceased, leaving two very somber young ponies and one confused slightly older one in its waker.

"What? Did Ah say the magic words or somethin'?"

"A-Auntie Applebloom... Royal... erm, that is tah say, he..."

"He went tah Canterlot tah live with his brat of a father, that's what he did." A familiar, exhausted sounding voice said.

With a gasp from the younger Apples and their parents, everypony turned to the door. There, in a blue bathrobe, stood Applejack. Her green eyes were bloodshot, with noticeable bags under them. Her normally pulled back blonde mane stuck up in all directions. She didn't look angry, nor despairing, nor any variant of those two emotions.

She just looked tired, more tired than she'd ever been, even more so than when she tried to harvest the entirety of Sweet Apple Acres herself.

"Sis! What in the hay happened tah ya?! Ya look like you've been hit with a big bag o' ugly!" Applebloom stopped. "Er, Ah mean... Ah really like yer mane?" She tried, smiling nervously.

Applejack raised an eyebrow at her sister. "Yer a worse liar than Ah am, kiddo. Ah know I look like the business end of a donkey. However... no use in cryin' no more. Ah can't change it, so why worry?"

Applejack started to head back inside. "Ah'll clean up a bit an' then we can all catch up. Oh, and don't y'all keep worryin' 'bout me, alright? Ah'm fine, really."

As Applejack headed up the stairs, the entire family looked over at each other, concern blatant. At that moment, they were all thinking the same thing:

She's definitely not fine.