“Ya know, some days Ah just wonder… What’s still here fer me?”
Burping and tossing a mug back, Rainbow turned her head and glared at the multi-headed orange mare. “Hah?”
Applejack leaned back and refilled her cider mug. “Oh, come on, you’re not that drunk. Ah hope anyways. Ya’ve only had like… two.”
“Well, yoooo-” Dash tried to point at Applejack, but nearly fell over in the process. She caught herself and then tried again, this time to moderate success. “Well you need to refill me. What’s this about wondering stuff? Uh, I meant to say that in your accent to mock you, so just pretend that I did.”
Applejack stared at the mug, then Dash. She raised a brow. “Really?”
Dash groaned. “Ugh, fine. Please?” Then, she pushed her cup at Applejack. The green-eyed mare rolled them, then took the mug and filled it with the frothy alcoholic beverage.
Once Dash was happily savoring the magically cooled foam, she tried again. “Ah mean, why do Ah stay, really? Ah just think. Maybe things are about done here, ya know?”
Dash took a deep drink of her cider, then found Applejack eyeing her again. “Oh. Right. Uh… Well, I’m at least partially paying attention now, but are you saying you like… wanna leave the farm or something? Or is this suicide talk? Cause, I’m really, really bad at that. I made it worse last time. Scootaloo almost jumped off my house and we had to get her into counseling with Fluttershy and Twilight, and it was just a mess. Do I need to get them?”
Applejack sighed and took a long drink of her own cider, goddess knows she needs it. “Y’all are just. The worst.” She took another sip, and tried for the third time, to explain herself. “Yes, Ah’m thinkin’ about leavin’ the farm, leaving Ponyville, just… goin’ somewhere else.”
Dash nodded. “Oh, cool. Whew, that is just like, such a relief that it’s not the other thing. I literally talked Fluttershy off a ledge once. It was a bad day, and I was exhausted flying us home.”
Applejack brought a hoof to her mouth. “There are days Ah wonder why Ah’m friends with ya, ya know that Dash?”
Rainbow nodded. “Oh, yeah, totes. I don’t know why Fluttershy tolerates me. I won’t know why anypony tolerates me. But please don’t leave me, I get so lonely.”
Rainbow put a wing around Applejack and pressed her cheek against Applejack’s before downing more of her cider. Applejack pushed Rainbow off and scowled. “Yeah, that’s enough fer y’all. Ya get too touchy when you’re drunk, Dash.”
She rolled her eyes and imbibed in more cider. “Well. Whatever. Why do you feel like that? Or, whatever friends are supposed to say when they care. I care, I just… care more about my drink if I’m gonna be honest.”
Applejack looked down at her cup and swirled her cider around. With any luck, she won’t remember any of this as toasted as she is. Well, here goes. “Dash, Ah feel like Ah don’t have a place here anymore. Sweet Apple Acres used ta be my home, but now it’s like… Ah feel like Ah’m a third wheel sometimes. With Sugarbelle movin’ in and Granny gettin’ older, Mac has… really stepped it up lately.
“The farm runs smoothly, Granny hardly does anythin’ anymore on account of her hip, and Ah… well, it feels like Ah just work here. Apple Bloom spends more time in her club house than she does in the family house, and Ah… Ah just… wander when Ah’ve got nothin’ else ta do. The school is goin’ ta Starlight since Twi’s takin’ over soon, and Ah don’t have ta be a teacher there since them kids are lookin’ ta take up the spots we’re leavin’ behind and… well, Ah don’t know. Ah just feel like… maybe everypony around me has moved on with their lives, and Ah’m just the same as Ah was five years ago. Ah mean, just look at yer own life fer instance.”
“My life? Said Rainbow Dash in a questioning voice. What about it? She asked. Also, can I have more cider?”
Rainbow pushed her cup at Applejack, and she just had to glare at the multicolored mare. “Did ya… did ya just refer ta yerself in third person? Are ya Trixie?”
Dash blinked a few times and then carefully and slowly shook her head. “What? Naw. Pfft. Maybe? Twilight says reading out loud helps tone of voice when writing, so sometimes I do that frequently. Oh! Speaking of, I never did get your comments back on that Daring Do fic I wrote. You uh… did you ever read it?”
Damn it! Why would she remember that now when she’s blitzed out of her mind of all times!? Lie damn it! Lie fer yer life Applejack! “Ah uh… Ya know, Ah’ve been busy,” she said, scratching at her head and looking anywhere but at Rainbow.
“You- urp. You just said that you had time to kill. Or something like that.”
Caught. “Okay, Ah haven’t read it.”
“Ah ha! I knew it!” she shouted in triumph, taking to the air as she did. “It’s cool. Don’t. Shy tore me a new one over it. Apparently, it’s some of the worst trashy fiction she’s ever had the displeasure of reading or something. I need to do some serious tweaking before I actually send it out again.”
Whew. Close calls.
“Anyways, what about my life?”
“Well. Ya know, ya achieved yer dream and all. When Ah met ya, ya were some kinda lazy dropout. Now you’re a lazy lucky dropout that still managed ta fail upwards somehow.”
Dash put a hoof to her chest, poorly feigning disgust. “Wow. Come on Applejack, blunt honesty is supposed to be my thing.” She laughed, then sighed and looked into the bottom of her empty wooden cup. “Yeah, I feel ya man. It was luck, saving the world a time or two, and having ponies in high places that got me what I wanted, and I know that. I mean, it helps that I’m actually talented and all, but I was way behind in the work department when I finally did get into the Wonderbolts. Now I have to like, actually work all the time and it sucks. But why am I an example?”
Well, at least she’s aware of where she stands. An improvement, ta be sure. Applejack crossed her forelegs behind her head and leaned back on the hay pile in the barn. “Because ya did what ya wanted. One way or another, all of ya, even Pinkie, did exactly what ya set out ta do. Twi’s off getting’ ready ta take over Equestria, Rarity has a store in all the major cities, Fluttershy has her shelter and Discord. Ninety percent sure they’re bangin’.”
Rainbow nodded. “Oh, totally. I heard a story once. It’s Discord. He can do literally whatever she wants. Though it is nice that they like, have romantic feelings for each other and all that.”
“Hundred percent sure then. You’re a Wonderbolt, Pinkie has that Cheese guy, and Ah… Ah’m here. Ya know Sugarbelle is pregnant right?”
Dash blinked. “Oh. Ohhhh, that’s why she’s moving in! I thought they were just getting married or something.”
Applejack waved a hoof and rolled her eyes. “Naw, that’s just the cover up. Ah mean, it’s still gonna happen, that was Granny’s prerequisite ta let her move in, but he knocked her up. Mac woulda ‘married’ Cheerilee had she not miscarried.”
Dash snorted. “Wow. Dark. And kinda sad. Really sad, actually.”
“Sad fer the foal maybe, not so much fer them. Mac and Cheeri don’t really get along that well and that woulda been a rocky relationship at best, so that poor kid woulda suffered with disinterested parents who’d probably get a divorce later. At least he actually likes Sugarbelle. But my point is; Ah ain’t got nothin’ ta say Ah did after all these years since Twi came ta town. She moved from home, came here, grew up, and now she’s gonna be a Queen. Everypony else either has a career or found a stallion or whatever the hell Discord is, and Ah’m just… here.”
Rainbow leaned back and joined Applejack on the hay. “Well, maybe you should, ya know?”
Applejack threw a hoof up in frustration. “Well, no shit Sherlock, that’s what Ah’m tryin’ ta decide! That’s why Ah said it in the first place!”
Rainbow shook her head and waved a hoof. “Not what I meant. Lemme try again. I’m a little- urp. I’m a little tipsy, alright?” She settled her hooves over her stomach and stared at the little oil lamp above us. “So, like, you said how Twi moved here and accomplished everything right? Well, that’s kind of the trend, isn’t it?”
Applejack furrowed her brow. “What’d ya mean by that?”
“Well, we all moved to get where we wanted to be. I moved out of my parent’s house, mostly out of fear that my dad would kill me for failing out of flight school, but that’s another story. And a few years after I met Twi, I moved up in life. Actually did what I set out to do. It helps that my smothering parents weren’t around to shove their affection down my throat, but the point is that I went out on my own and did what I wanted. Even if I was a neet living off their money and a part time job for like, three years.
“Shy fell off the sky city and figured out her talent needed her to be on the ground. She moved away from home, met you guys, then achieved her dream. And Discord. I guess. Pinkie found her talent, then landed here after she was starving and needed money. Now she makes a living doing the party stuff, and Cheese is a great guy, and they’re happy together. Leave home, work at her calling, find a purpose in life.
“Twi is easy because she got the gold clad boot from home and was made to grow up, but now they think she’s ready to lead the country. It’s crazy to think that that nerdy unicorn is gonna be the queen I protect someday, but here we are. Even Rarity moved out of the house to start her own business, even if she never left her home town. Now she has shops everywhere, and she’s freakin’ loaded. She might have a… interesting love live, but at least she did what she wanted. You’re the only one that never moved away from home.
“I mean, you tried to leave, but I’m pretty sure that that was because of your parents, and not so you could figure out what to do with yourself. You were like, eight, right?”
Applejack nodded. “It was, Ah was. Really… makes me think, ya know? Ah haven’t left home on my own in somethin’ like seventeen years now. We’ve gone all over this country together, but Ah never… did anythin’ like that just fer me.”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. I mean, it’s not like you didn’t stay in Manehattan for no reason though, your Cutiemark was here. Now you feel you don’t belong anymore, so wouldn’t it just make sense to leave? Like, you know the numbers side of all this, you could probably work for any farm across Equestria if you wanted. Twilight’s moving away, Pinkie is traveling more often, Rarity is hardly ever here with all her shops and other fancy gatherings, even I’m not here as much as I used to be, and Shy… will probably never leave, but she also has Discord, so she can be anywhere whenever. You really are kind of the only one left.”
The two were silent for a while. The flame flickered and wavered in the oil lamp, but it’s little dance never moved beyond the wick. Were it let loose from that little cage, it would expand and consume the whole farm, given the chance. The analogy was grim, but the truth of the matter is, when the flame is set free, it grows. Staying inside the lamp just makes it burn until it dies out.
Applejack sighed. “Maybe… it is time ta leave.”
