Easy As... Pizza?

by Chrome Masquerade

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Pinkie Pie, Slice of Life, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Soarin, Rainbow Dash, Comedy
Length: 1549

In the aftermath of Secrets and Pies, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are making up, when Soarin (who had followed the prismatic ponk to Ponyville) decides to add his two bits

After Secrets and Pies, Pinkie has discovered that Rainbow Dash doesn't like pie. ANY kind of pie. With the exception of Pinkie Pie, of course.

As it turns out, Soarin had followed the whole fiasco and decing that he can't let this stand, he decides to weigh in on the matter.

Extra tag: Food Porn. This may make you hungry, but that's about it.

Published 2019-09-15 04:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-15 04:00:01 UTC

To Eat One's Words

"I'm sorry, Pinkie. I just don't like the taste of pie. Can you forgive me?" Rainbow Dash said, ears droooping.

"It's okay, Dashie. These things happen. But you really should have told me."

"And what would have come of that?" a voice behind them injected.

The two mares turned around quickly and discovered that behind them was Soarin, Cloudsdale's pie aficionado. "What if Crash here had told you about her dislike of pies? What would you have done?"

"Well, um... I would... that is..." Pinkie stammered, at a loss for words, for once. She knew full well what she'd have done.

"I'm gonna bet bits to bagels that you'd have spent the next who knows how long trying to find a kind of pie that she liked. We'd be right back where this all started."

Pinkie's mane drooped a bit at that. That was exactly what she'd thought he'd say. And he was right, too. She was admittedly a little naive at times, and could be kind of oblivious when it came to things like this. She was fully aware that she was a mare with normal weaknesses, underneath it all.

Soarin trotted over, stopping between the two of them, putting one hoof on either's withers. "Look, you two. These things happen. Friends will disagree from time to time. The important thing is that you're good friends. And friends aren't people who won't tick you off from time to time. Friends are those who are worth forgiving, every time."

Rainbow Dash quirked one eyebrow. "You've been hanging around Twilight, haven't you?"

"Nah." Soarin said, shrugging. "These things just come to mind now and then. Maybe the purple princess is rubbing off on me from a distance. Who knows? Either way, I suggest that we all discuss this over dinner. Whaddaya say?"

Pinkie and Rainbow Dash looked at each other and smiled. "I think we'd love that." the cyan mare answered, speaking for both of them. "What do you have in mind? And where did that soap box come from?"

Looking down, Soarin realized that her colleague was correct! "I... don't know." Soarin said, having his own turn being at a loss. After a few seconds, however, he shook that off. "Come on. I'll show you two a place that I come to when I'm in town. But I want this to be a surprise. Keep your eyes closed and I'll lead you along."

The trio walked through Ponyville, occasionally correcting their course as they went along. Soon enough, a delicious scent came wafting toward them. Both mares sniffed three times. "What's that smell?" Rainbow Dash queried.

"You'll see, soon enough." Soarin said. "Or rather, better yet - you'll taste it soon enough."

Leading the two mares into the restaurant, he directed them to a table. "Why don't you take a seat for us? This'll be my treat."

The two of them sitting down, Pinkie said, "Well, I make it a point to never say no to free food! Or free candy! Or free cake. Or- I'm rambling, aren't I?"

The two Pegasi chuckled at that. "No offense, Pinkie, but you do tend to be a bit... how you say... - verbose? At times. Anyway, you two just make yourselves comfortable. I'll order our dinner."

Stepping up to the counter, Soarin rang the bell placed there thrice. In a couple of seconds, a mare with a creamy orange coat zipped over, wobbling a bit as she came to an abrupt stop. "Hay hay! Pizza Pie's(1) Pizza-porium! The perfect place to purchase pizzas to please any palate! Oh, Soarin! It's you! And judging by your three rings, you came with those two over there? What can I getcha? Wait, Is that Rainbow Dash over there? And Pinkie?"

"You're familiar with her?"

"She's a distant cousin of mine. Fifth cousin, once removed. It's complicated. Now... what'll it be?"

"The blue blur there says that she doesn't like pie. ANY kind of pie!" Soarin whispered conspiratorily.

Pizza Pie put one hoof to her mouth in mock shock. "(gasp!) Really? Any kind?"

"Do you s'pose you could... prove her wrong?" Soarin asked, smirking.

Pizza Pie grinned. "I'll do my best! Order up!"

"We'll take your extra-extra large deep-dish Hoofolulu Howler with extra cheese and a stuffed crust! Also add jalapeno poppers and three Rainbow Fruit(2) drinks!"

"One H-H-X-X-L with poppers, comin' up! (3)"

As Soarin went back to their spot, Pizza Pie went back to the kitchen and got to work. After she got the ingredients together and began to mould the dough, she began singing a song that always helped her with the process.

Roll it down,
Roll it thick,
With all of your might!
Stretch, stretch, stretch 'til it's nice and light!

Roll it out
Roll it thick
Throw it up high,
And let it drop as a... (*giggle*) Pizza Pie!

Pizza pizza pizza pizza! Pizza galore!
Pizza on the ceiling!
Pizza on the floor!
Pizza in the sunshine!
Pizza in the rain!
If you want more pizza...

At that, she shut the oven door with a slam, the concoction now set cooking at her favourite setting - perfect.

Start again! (4)

Over at their table, the three semi-celebrities heard the singing going, on, if not able to hear the lyrics completely.

"What is she doing in there?" Rainbow Dash asked. "It certainly sounds like she's having fun, at least."

"Not as much fun as you'll be having in a bit! Get ready, though, because -as delicious as it is- it's never quite as sweet as the first time." Soarin said, licking his lips in anticipation, also rubbing his hooves together.

"Eh, we'll see." Rainbow said, still holding her approval until she actually SAW what she was going to be eating.

At length, the pizza was boxed and ready to serve.

As Pizza Pie put one of her namesake on the counter, she said, "I brought the heating, you do the eating!"

Soarin went and grabbed the pizza, paying the pizza Pony for their dinner.

Opening the box, a wave of aroma spread from the contents. The three were practically reeling from the aroma.

"Wh-what is this?!" Rainbow Dash asked, incredulous, but eager.

"They call it... a pizza pie!"

"Hey! That's my fifth cousin, once removed!"

Rainbow Dash found herself reaching involuntarily toward the deep-dish disc of deliciousness. She took the pizza cutter enclosed and sliced the pizza, juices running along the spaces. She took one slice and lifted it toward her mouth. And when she bit into it-

"Hnngh!"

The flavour of the pizza exploded in her mouth, flavours of fruit dancing on her tongue. The flavours brought to mind images of exotic locations, luaus on the beach, with everypony invited. Flashes of fruity energy flowed through her, sending a torrent of flavour to her tongue.

"See? I told you it was good." Soarin said

Pizza Pie wasn't idle as they ate. She brought over three smoothies, obvious zap-apple colours streaking through the drink.

"Three Rainbow Fruit smoothies. Enjoy!"

Rainbow Dash made to lift hers, only to discover that... it was freakin' heavy! "What is this stuff!? Liquid gold!?"

"Practically." Soarin said, electing to leave his cup on the table. At least there was less likelihood of it spilling, as heavy as it was.

Rainbow Dash took her first tentative sip and-

"Ugh!"

Another torrent of flavour rushed through her, the flavour she had in her mouth changing once, twice, three times, tangy cherry, smooth orange, sharp pineapple. A few seconds after that, the flavour shifted a fourth time, to a sort of lime flavour. Then again to sweet blueberry. Taking another sip, it changed again to a... fluffy(?) grape (for lack of a better description), this time. Just when she expected the rush of flavours to end, it changed once more, cycling through all the colours and flavours of the rainbow.

"Sweet Celestia!" the chromatic mare coughed.

Soarin slapped her on the back a couple of times. "Best fare in town. Now, how do you feel about this kind of pie?" he said, indicating the pizza.

"I think it's cheating, calling it a pie of any description, but damn if it isn't amazing! I have GOT to introduce the other girls to this place!"

At length, they packed up their separate shares of the pizza and even some of their drinks. It was just too much flavour to have all at once!

"Come again!" Pizza Pie said, waving from the entrance.

After they walked away a bit, Rainbow Dash said, "Soarin, I have to say, thanks for this."

"You're welcome, Crash."

"You guys are never gonna let me live that down, are you? Clipper."

Pinkie just chuckled at this. It had been a good day with good friends. And sometimes? That's all you need.

Author's Note

1: As opposed to Jasper Pie. Yes, I know of the character, but this is a coincidence, for the purposed of the story. The only thing they really have in common is their occupation.
2: Anyone who's watched Toriko might know what this resembles.
3: (Half kidding) Uh... sorry. Can't reveal the ingredients. Trade secret! Consider it like a Hawaiian pizza, but... more!
4: Cookie for those who can guess what show it's from!