In Which Discord Pays Fluttershy a Visit
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Discord sat before Fluttershy’s cottage, wondering what he was going to say. The infamous Applejack Incident, as it had come to be known, happened only a week ago (consult the story “Chaos and Honesty”, dear reader). Fluttershy had knocked him clean out - it hurt so bad that he simply remained in his chaotic pocket dimension for a few days, recovering and trying to figure out how he could get out of trouble with his marefriend, but here he was, about to ask her for forgiveness and be let out of the doghouse, so to speak. What in Tartarus was he going to say?
As he nervously approached her cottage he went over various scenarios in his head.
“Oh, hello Fluttershy, nice weather we’re having! Those pegasi are sure doing...a good job...”
*SLAP*
“Hi Flutters, hope you still love me...?”
*SLAP*
“Sup babe, how’s it hangin?”
*SLAP SLAP STOMP*
It was beyond pathetic, and he knew it. Oh well he thought, might as well break a rule and come completely clean. After all, it would only last a few moments, right? And Fluttershy was the single most forgiving and, well, kind pony he knew.
Well, here goes...
He knocked on the cabin door.
Nothing.
He gingerly knocked again.
After waiting a minute... Nothing.
He rubbed his temples with his claws and reached up to knock a third time.
Just then, the door opened.
Fluttershy stood in the threshold, but Discird immediately noticed something was off.
The first thing he noticed was the nonchalant face she wore. She didn’t DO nonchalant.
Second, her eyes were tired, as if she had just been woken up. Or just finished something strenuous.
Third was...lingerie...?
Wait, she had lingerie?!
Fluttershy?!
How long was I out?! he thought. His mind spun as he tried to avoid looking at anything but her face.
Attempting to maintain eye contact, he spoke.
“Listen Fluttershy, I know I made a mistake, and I’m here to apologize. I care about you, and I care about your friends. OUR friends! So please, would you forgive me?”
She stood there and yawned.
“Yeah, sure...whatever.”
Discord’s mind screamed at him to say something more, anything.
“Fluttershy...are you still angry with me? If you are...I understand. I hurt you, I didn’t mean to, but please, tell me how I can make this up to you.”
Fluttershy stretched and yawned again.
“Yeah...listen, why don’t you come back tomorrow, and we can talk then, OK?”
He didn’t know if that was good or bad.
“Well...alright, Ill be back tomorrow. Same bat time, same bat channel?” He pointed finger guns at her face with a half grin, hoping for a positive response.
“Goodbye, Discord.”
She shut the door.
Discord stood there, finger guns still drawn on Fluttershy’s door. He didn’t know what to think, or what to do.
“Did I mess up that bad? It was only a prank. I didn’t DO anything with Applejack...” he said quietly, and trudged away towards the Everfree Forest.
The draconequus was already starting to think of how best to mess with the next pony in his head, probably Rainbow Dash, when he heard something outside one of the Fluttershy’s windows.
He thought about how disrespectful it would be to look, and that he really shouldn’t peek, but after about half a second half of justification he quietly flew over to it.
The moment he peeked around the side, the curtain was drawn shut, but he caught the barest glimpse of three ponies in her bedroom.
What the hay is she doing in there?
Discord flew back to a safe distance and sat outside the chicken coop - As he did, Angel Bunny made his presence known under the entrance ramp.
“Ok, Discord. You have two options.” he said to himself. Angel Bunny sat, evidently interested.
“One, you can just walk away and come back tomorrow. Just like Fluttershy said.” He looked at Angel.
Angel tilted his head and extended an ear, as if to say “Or?”
“Two, I sneak in and take a peek. You know...to make sure she’s ok?”
Angel rubbed his chin for a moment, deep in thought. After a moment, he thumped the ground twice.
“Option 2? Alright then, the vote is cast - its decided!”
Angel knew what was coming - he shrugged and hopped away to find a front row seat for the show that was about to begin.
Discord crept up to the front door, trying to figure out how best to proceed. Breaking and entering wasn’t exactly his forte, but it really wasn’t that hard when teleportation was on the table.
He snapped his claws.
POOF
He was on the other side of the door, and quickly scanned his immediate surroundings.
Fluttershy was in the hall just past the den!
But as luck would have it, she was walking away from him and didn’t notice.
He was just thanking his lucky stars when Fluttersy entered her bedroom, and as Discord breathed a sigh of relief, he became aware of something.
Specifically, giggling.
Somepony, another mare, was giggling.
Somepony who wasn’t Fluttershy, his marefriend.
Somepony was giggling, and then he heard Fluttershy giggling along with them.
The bedroom door shut.
Discord couldn’t help himself. As quickly and quietly as possible he rushed over to the bedroom door, hearing the click of the lock just as he bent down to look through the keyhole.
He couldn’t see much, but he could see...wait...
Oh my Goddess.
He was pretty sure he could see another mare, light orange or tan in color.
“Is that...Applejack?” He thought to himself, with a brief clash of guilt. It looked as if her bumps and bruises from Granny’s thrashing were finally healed up, save for a few. She only had a few bandages left on one hind leg, which was up in the air.
Wait, what?
It looked like Fluttershy was slowly, gently taking the bandages off. Lacy bandages.
“Lacy bandages...” he thought to himself.
“Lace”.
Applejack was wearing sexy lacy garments.
He open a small time-space rift and vomited extra dimensional material into an upside down bucket.
He looked back, and saw another pony.
Another pony!
His mind screamed.
Probably a dude - he had both his legs tied together above his head and was wearing a black leather outfit that covered his whole body, including his face.
Discord began to bite his claws.
“I don’t know how much more this I can handle!” he whispered to himself.
The stallion was swung out from over the bed into the open air next to the door, upside down - it appeared he was attached to a harness. His mane gently brushed the floor as he began to struggle, and then a rocking chair was pushed next to the stallion.
“What in Luna’s name...”
He could hear someone munching on a crunchy vegetable. Then a blur of yellow in white lingerie - when it disappeared, a half eaten carrot lay on the rocking chair.
Now, Discord had seen quite a bit in his thousands of years of life. He could feel that what he was about to see was going to be one of those once in a century moments where he would never forget what he was about to see. He was also quite sure it was going to scar him forever.
Yellow and orange flashed by the keyhole, and he could see that something was dangling out of Fluttershy’s mouth. He’d seen one before, a long time ago in another dimension, in a movie...a really good movie...where in one part, two guys got dragged into the basement of a pawn shop. They were bound and gagged with one of those things, and then...
Oh my Goddess.
Discord could just make out Fluttershy pulling the straps tight on the ball gag. The stallion began to protest, moaning against the big red ball in his mouth, and suddenly Discord wasn’t so sure the guy was there of his own free will.
His marefriend went to get something else again, as the orange one began to spank the guy with an extra long stalk of celery.
“Now just what do you think we should do with you, sugar cube?”
There was no mistaking that twang. It was Applejack! What in Tartarus was going on? Discord produced a hanky and dabbed his face, unsure about what to think about anything anymore.
Fluttershy laughed. It wasn’t funny.
“Have you been a bad boy? That’s too bad, because now we have to punish you...” she purred.
At any other time Discord would have enormously enjoyed hearing Fluttershy talk this way, but now...
Now he just didn’t know.
She laughed again, and Discord was suddenly reminded of the evil fluttershy he had produced when he had corrupted her element of kindness. It was a hollow laugh, the kind when the villain in a movie says something that only he thinks is funny.
AppleJack bent down in front of the door, and when she got up she had something in her hoof - a shiny red apple.
“Squeal, piggy!” said Applejack, and then Big Mac yelled into the ball gag, his eyes speaking volumes as she plunged the apple into the stallion’s chest area. He couldn’t quite see.
“KAA-LII-MAAA!”
The stallion whimpered and squirmed.
Discord was astonished at what he heard.
Piggy? Was that racist? he thought.
He could hear the stallion cry out against the ball gag helplessly as AppleJack began to do...something... with the apple. After a moment of uncomfortable looking struggling and MMMPPHH sounds, she took the Apple and placed it on the rocking chair next to the half eaten carrot. The apple was missing a good chunk, but nobody had taken a bite – Discord could only imagine where that part of the apple had gone.
“Apples” thought Discord.
Apples.
He then jumped a bit as he heard a loud sharp CRACK, and the stallion bucked against his restraints, crying into the ball gag.
“How y’all doing, sugar cube? You need a break? Want some water?” The stallion nodded, and Discord could imagine tears in his eyes.
“Ok, but you hafta give me the safe word first.”
“MMMM!”
“Ah’m sorry, yer gonna hafta speak up now.”
“MMM HMMM!”
“Sorry, ah can’t understand you, don’t speak with yer mouth full.”
“NNGNGNGNNGGRRRRRR!”
Applejack chuckled.
“Ok, why don’t we take this gag off fer a minnitt...Now, ah say again, do y’all want some water?”
After a moment of unfastening, Discord heard it.
“Eeeyyup.”
Discords blood turned to ice. Literally.
He fell over, but managed to teleport himself back to the pocket dimension before hitting the ground. He spent several seconds simply staring out into space in the fetal position, unable to process what was happening. After a full minute of running a cold chocolate shower on his face, he had gathered enough composure to go back.
“I can do this.” He said out loud to himself. His mind still reeling, he snapped his claws to return...
...And appeared on the wrong side of the door. He had miscalculated his jump!
Fluttershy and Applejack stared at Discord.
Discord stared back.
Big Macintosh tried to see what was happening and struggled to turn around in the gimp suit and dungeon harness but couldn't. His leather gimp suit squeaked.
The rocking chair creaked back and forth - the apple rolled off and hit the wooden floor.
There was another moment of awkward staring when they all heard knocking at the front door. Big Mac gave a muffled HHMMM?!
Discord, Fluttershy and Applejack cracked open the bedroom door and peeked around at the same time to look at the source of the sound.
“Fluttershy? It’s Twilight! Could you please help me with an animal question?”
They all ducked back into the bedroom and looked back at Discord as if to say, “Can you take care of it?”
He only nodded, and with his eyes fixed on Fluttershy, slowly and silently slipped through the threshold and closed the bedroom door.
Her eyes begged, “Don’t tell!” as he gently closed the door.
“FLUTTERSHY! Are you ok? I’m coming in!”
For Celestia’s sake, Twilight...
The door opened, and Princess Twilight Sparkle walked in as if she owned the place.
Typical.
“Oh, Hi Discord! Where’s Fluttershy? I have a question about the mating habits of owls, since Owlicious...well, never mind, I just need to know!”
He stared at her, unsure of what to say.
“Umm...”
“Soooooo....Fluttershy...?”
“Oh yes, she’s...out running errands.”
“Ooh....ok...”
A loud crash made itself known from the room. It sounded like the dungeon harness fell over.
Twilight looked at him.
“Is...everything ok Discord?”
“YES. Everything's fine Twilight.”
Discord automatically propped a hand on the bedroom door as casually as he could and crossed one foot over the other. Just as he did, he realized it did not look casual at all.
Twilight raised an eyebrow.
“Is that a fake casual stance you’re doing?”
“NO.”
“It is. I studied body language.”
He glowered at her.
“You would.”
She ignored him. How did Spike stand living with her?
With a smug grin, she closed her eyes and put one hoof in front of her mouth.
“You’re also leaning against that door, and in doing so unconsciously trying to hide something behind it.”
Goddess he hated her sometimes!
A heavy thud came from the room. He figured it was Big Mac in the gimp suit, finally freed from the undoubtedly tangled harness.
“Discord, I need to see what’s in there”
“No.”
“Discord...”
“Twilight...”
“Discord!”
“Princess.”
“Look here Draconequus...”
“Look here Alicorn.”
He began to sweat. He couldn’t stall her for much longer, pretty soon she would probably just teleport right inside!
“Discord, I’m giving you to the count of three.”
Oh Goddess.
“Now Twilight...”
“One.”
“...Listen...Princess...”
“Two.”
“...Oh Luna...!”
“She can’t help you now.”
“Please....!!”
“Three!”
Twilight swapped places with him via teleportation and put her hoof on the door. Suspicious scuffling could be heard inside.
Discord crumpled to the floor as a ball of paper.
Twilight opened the door.
“Oh, hi Twilight! Would you care to join us?” said Fluttershy.
Discord blasted over to the door at something close to half the speed of light.
“Hi Fluttershy! I was knocking, I guess you didn’t hear me. Discord was acting weird and I thought something fishy was going on. Is everything ok?” She paused, waiting for Fluttershy’s response.
“Oh no, that’s just one of his old tricks. Isn’t it, Discord?”
Fluttershy looked at Discord and winked without winking. He winced at her stare, and his heart stopped.
Discord pounded his chest and sputtered, tried to come up with something to say, and then lamely settled on a “Yes. Yes it was.” He stared at her.
Fluttershy held his gaze with a smile and an even face. She could melt steel with that face. Subsequently, his face melted, as if he had opened the Ark of the Covenant.
Twilight was completely oblivious.
“Well, it looks like you have everything under control here, Fluttershy! Now, about that owl mating question...”
Fluttershy looked at Twilight.
“Just put them in a barn together with a few mice and some water for the night, Applejack will let you use hers if you ask. Don’t ask Owlicious about it afterwards, it might embarrass him.”
Twilight blushed and blinked.
“Wow, you really know your animals, huh?” She let out a little nervous laugh.
“I do.”
Fluttershy gave the same look to Twilight, and the Princess suddenly felt very small.
“Wellll, I think I’d better be going! I can hear Spike complaining already!”
And with that, she did an about-face and left as quickly and politely as possible.
The door shut.
Discord and Fluttershy looked at each other. They slowly smiled, wider and wider, as the funny side of the whole thing hit them.
They began to chuckle. It grew louder until it became a good laugh, and then a proper uproar. They fell on each other they were laughing so hard.
Am I forgiven? thought Discord. Her laughing face told him yes! He was!
Still laughing, he leaned down to hug Fluttershy.
She immediately stopped laughing and smacked him upside the face hard with her hoof.
Holy....!
He grabbed his cheek, shocked and confused!
“If you ever interrupt my private sessions again, I will bucking PEG you!”
His mind reeled from the rough language of this normally kind, gentle pony.
How did she hit me so hard? Did I deserve it? Would she really peg him? Would he like it?
Like a gangster, she leaned in quickly with her hooves up in the air.
“What! What are you gonna do?!”
He was fairly alarmed, and pretty sure he had never been so intimidated in his eternal life.
“I...umm...I will be leaving now...?”
“Your’e Goddess-damned right you are!”
“...OK...ok...here I go...”
She faked a punch and he squealed, meekly edging over to the front door. He couldn’t take his eyes off her.
She mad dogged him the whole time.
In the corner of his vision he saw Big Mac leaning around the bedroom door, looking worried. Discord chose this moment to steal a few seconds of eye contact with Big Mac - his eyes pleaded “get out while you still can” and “call the police.”
With sad resignation and a single tear Big Mac closed his eyes and pulled the gimp suit’s hood over his head and zipped it up.
Orange hooves hooked the ball gag into his mouth and pulled him inside.
The door slammed - muffled jazz started playing from the room.
Horrified, Discord began scrabbling for the handle to the front door without looking, which turned out to be difficult for a being of his height, especially in a cottage built for ponies.
“Umm...love you...?”
She looked him up and down and smiled.
“That’s right you do.”
And she pushed him out and slammed the door.
Discord lay there stunned, unsure of what to do or how to feel. He supposed he could go to a bar. An inter-dimensional bar that had drinks from several different worlds. Whiskey, sake, vodka, gin, some rank brown fluid, etc. It would do the trick.
He would need a lot to drink to make up for the events of this day. A lot.
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As Discord drank at the tavern, certain truths slowly became evident.
Especially after the fifth drink.
Advice from other ponies became a sort of mantra.
“Your girl has you on the ropes dude!”
“That one has you in her hooves!”
“That’s the thing about single-dimensional beings. Allons y!”
He sighed, and motioned for another whiskey. He needed something hard.
As the (admittedly attractive) bartender made her way over, she called to him.
“Hey, Discord! Need something extra tonight?!”
“Yes please, Tifa, I need something hard.”
“Rough night, eh?”
“You could say that.”
“Well, let me get you something special - I’ll be right there!”
On her way over she reached under the counter and pulled out a special whiskey bottle, one he had never seen before. For him, that was rare.
“It’s called “Wild Pegasus”, it’s a vintage brand from an alternate universe where Equestria has suffered a nuclear apocalypse. I bought it off of that dimension’s version of Ditzy Doo - she’s a zombie, believe it or not . What do you say?”
“Hhmmmmm....” he thought, inebriation beginning to make itself known.
“Off course! Because thats what I would say at the Golden Saucer.”
Tifa chuckled at the reference
“Buyer beware though, Discord - this stuff is strong, far stronger than the Buffalo Trace you get at Costco. That whiskey is 45%, but this isn’t even legally produced. No alcohol regulation in the wasteland, you see - its something like 55%, but somehow it still has a great oaky taste.”
Discord heard 55% alchohol and blurted out,
“Lets do it.”
“OK! Don’t say I didn’t warn you! That’ll be 10 Bits a shot.”
10 Bits! He thought. Holy Smoke, that was more than...wait a minute. Im an immortal, interdimensional being.
He laughed to himself, and produced 100 bits on the counter.
“Bring it on.”
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After a half hour of the hard stuff, Discord was ready to talk to Fluttershy.
Or so he thought.
He stumbled up to her door after a sloppy teleport that placed him 200 yards away - after the first attempt landed him in Yakyakistan.
He knocked on the cottage door, straightened himself up...and promptly blacked out.
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Discord woke up, dazed and confused. His brain pounded against the inside of his skull - it felt like it was trying to break out with a jackhammer. He realized he was immobilized.
And that he was swinging in open air.
In fact, all four of his limbs were tied down.
Now that he thought about it, it was kind of hard to breathe around the big red ball in his mouth.
Oh dear.
There was a wooden chest next to him. It rattled, and Discord thought he knew why.
A sudden flash of yellow on his left made its way to a record player. It was so eerily quiet he could hear the needle being placed on the record.
There came a gentle laugh, and upbeat jazz started to play.
The pony turned and smiled, and it made his skin crawl.
The wooden chest shook, and Discord began to sweat.
“Hey...you in there! Are we boned?”
“Eeeyup.”
THE END
Author's Note
Thank you for your time, dear reader!
