The Apples On The Hill

Hank woke up from his slumber. He used his hands to reach for....

Wait. Hands?

Hank yanked off his sheets and got out of his bed. In looked up and down his body and saw he was back to normal. He looked around and saw he was back in his room, with Peggy sleeping by side.

"Thank god," Hank uttered with the relief a man felt when got to pee after three days, "I finally woke up from that crazy dream." He looked at his hands like he would never take them for granted again.

"No, Mr. Hill, this is the dream."

Hank Hill looked and saw who entered the room.

It was another one of these ponies. But this one was very different from the ones he had seen.

This one a head taller than the adult ponies. She-it was she based off her voice-had a blue coat, a blue mane that seemed to blow in some unforeseen wind, turquoise blue eyes, a long horn, and large wings on the side of her body.

There was something different about this pony. Something powerful that made Hank feel rooted on the spot.

"Who are you?" Hank chocked out. "Another one of the crazy hallucinations I've seen?"

"Sir, I am not illusion." The blue mare just let an amused smile form on her muzzle. "I am the master of illusion." Her eyes glowed and suddenly Peggy and the bedroom faded away to be replaced by some void with beautiful stars.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO PEGGY?!" Hank bellowed with bared fists. "ANSWER ME, OR I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"Mr. Hill I can't destroy that which does not exist," Luna replied. Hank's anger was replaced with a bit of melancholy. "This is the Dreamscape. That is merely an illusion of your wife."

"So, this is the dream," Hank uttered with enormous reluctance. "And I'm still...in...Ponyworld?" He frowned miserably.

Luna gave him a solemn nod. "It is apparent why I have been summoned."

Hank looked confused. "Summoned?"

"Mr. Hill, allow me to introduce myself. I am Princess Luna, Mistress of the Night, Defender of the Dreams. i could sense-"

"Defender of the-OH MY GOD, YOU'RE ALLOWED TO ENTER MY MIND AND READ IT! AH'M AN AMERICAN! I HAVE RIGHTS-,"

Luna raised her hoof. "Mr. Hill I can't enter a mind without permission. The dreams sensed your trouble, and so they summoned me to assist you." Suddenly Hank felt his panic cease.

"Assist me?"

Luna looked even more amused. "It really amuses me to see a being so wise look so lost. But then, you've never been to a world without magic."

Hank looked even more stunned. "You know about...people?"

"My sister talks about it often," the blue mare commented. "She traveled there many times in her youth."

Hanks hopes lit up. "So she can get me home?!"

"Perhaps," Princess Luna said. Hank was a bit concerned by the evasion in her tone. "It has been a while since we traversed it. But I can assure you, you can get a meeting with her by tomorrow afternoon."

A relieved smile came onto Hank's face. "Thank god," he uttered while letting out a deep breath.

"What has troubled you so?" Luna asked. Hank looked hesitant to answer. "Mr. Hill, I assure you, I am not going to divulge anything to anypony. The Dreamscape requires that I respect the privacy of all creatures. Were I to violate that trust, I would lose my title."

Hank looked at the pony princess with a hint of suspicion, but the look in the pony's eyes, which was both dignified and welcoming, made him let out a sigh. "Up until now, I thought I was having a crazy dream," Hank said with some sadness. "But apparently, I'm in some other world, away from my..." Hank let out a heavy sigh instead of crying.

"You miss your loved ones?" Luna asked empathetically. Hank looked down at the floor, ashamed, He felt something warm on his arm. The pony princess was putting a warm wing on his arm. "Mr. Hill, you believe that showing emotions makes you weak. I assure you, they don't. It is natural for any creature to feel longing for their loved ones. I don't blame you for how you feel." Princess Luna then pulled Hank into some weird wing hug, that was unusually comforting. "I too know what it is like to be separated from your loved ones. Even the mightiest among us can feel tears."

Hank finally lost his composure and began crying, while Luna comforted him with soothing words.

"It isn't just that." Luna released Hank from his hug. He wiped his eyes and took a few deep breaths. "I feel guilty too. These ponies are...good folk...and I have to lie to them."

Luna gave Hank another small but reassuring smile. "Mr. Hill, I can tell that you are not a normally malicious man. In your situation, you don't have any other choice. But don't worry, my sister and I will discuss this with Twilight, and she''ll help you."

A calm smile appeared on Hank's face. "Thank you, Princess!" Suddenly, he was surrounded by a white light. "What's happening?!" Hank covered his eyes.

"You're waking up, Mr. Hill," Princess Luna assured. "But please remember, sir, you are not alone. And I'll be hear to talk in case you need it." A light surrounded him.

The sound of a rooster echoed throughout Sweet Apple Acres. The Apple family and their guest came too, ready for another day of work.

"Alright everypony," Granny screeched. The Apple family and Hank stood in a circle around the green mare, waiting on her instructions.

"The Princess will be here today." The Apples, even Big Mac, looked incredibly excited. Hank smiled, but not the smile of excitement that was on their faces.

Apple Bloom looked like she was getting a second birthday. "Really? Oh boy!"

Granny was stern. "We have to work hard to prepare for her luncheon, so no dilly-dallying."

"OK!"

"Yes, granny!"

"Yes ma'am."

"Eeyup."

"Now git to work!" The old mare bellowed. The Apples went to work with enthusiasm, while Hank worked with excitement and hope.

"Oh Mr. Hill you are so lucky," Applejack drawled while getting ready to buck some trees. "That you get to meet the Princess."

"No one is more eager than me," Hank uttered with an odd smile.

"Thank you very much Princess for coming here," Mayor Mare said ecstatically.

Hank saw how everypony in town dropped whatever they were doing and came to the town center to greet the Princess. He was stunned, but not surprised. This princess definitely had presence.

The mare was tall, beautiful, and spoke with an odd combination of strength and grace. Despite being a proud, freedom-loving American, Hank felt the need to bow to this Princess when the white mare laid her eyes on him. Something about the mare...made him awed, but he couldn't explain it. Maybe it was the knowledge that she could control the sun. Maybe it was some kind of instinct all the creatures of this world seemed to share. In any case, he felt a reverence for this mare that was unlike anything he felt for anything besides God and Tom Landry.

"It is a pleasure to grace you, my little ponies," Princess Celestia said. Even the way she spoke made Hank feel all fuzzy inside. Politicians always said kind things, but never really meant them. This Princess really sounded like she saw her subjects as her own children. "But I have business to conduct with Princess Twilight and Mr. Hill."

"Lucky," Rainbow Dash muttered next to him with a weird combination of jealousy and joy. Him and Twilight's friends sat at table near where Princess Celestia and the Mayor were conversing. "You got the Princess of Day to help you out!"

Hank laughed sheepishly. With a gesture from Twilight, Hank followed the two mares into the tree library.

They all sat down in the main room of the library, enjoying tea brought in by Spike. Princess Celestia looked at Hank with an odd smile, while Twilight looked giddy.

"Um..."

"I can't believe it!" Twilight gushed excitedly. "A real life alien in Ponyville!"

"I guess I'm an alien," Hank agreed reluctantly.

"We could share stories, ask you about the ponies experience from the eyes of a foreign creature."

"Uh-,"

"Collect biological samples for me to study-,"

Hank looked mortified. "Excuse me!"

"My star student." The words were gentle, but Twilight's rambling ceased immediately. Despite Celestia looking serene, the purple unicorn looked like she was given a death sentence. "I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you should know not to treat a sentient creature like a test subject."

Twilight's ears fell flat on her head. "I'm sorry Mr. Hill."

"Don't worry about it," Hank said. The propane salesman turned to the Princess with respect he only reserved for the police, the firefighters, Mr. Strickland, the other leaders of the propane industry, LBJ, and Bill when he bathed. "Your majesty," Hank said while bowing his head, "thank you so much for helping me out."

"Mr. Hill, it is my honor," Princess Celestia said. Hank raised his head, and the mare continued to give him that same enigmatic smile. Hank wondered how good she would be at poker, but decided to get to the matter at hand, or hoof.

"Your majesty, Luna said you had a way for me to get back home?" Princess Celestia's expression became a bit more grave.

"I thought I did," Princess Celestia said with a serious expression. "I possess a magical mirror that can take a pony to a human world." Hank smiled, but it faded when he realized the "a".

"What's the problem, your majesty?" Twilight asked.

"The world beyond the mirror and your own are not the same ones." Princess Celestia said. "It also won't open for several more moons. And you aren't like to find anything you desire there." As someone who had to read emotions to sell them propane, Hank couldn't help but notice the bitterness in the usually serene mare's voice.

Twilight noticed it, as indicated by her concerned look. "Your majesty, is everything-,"

"I'm fine Twilight," Princess Celestia said somewhat defensively, taking a very polite sip of tea in her magical grip. Once she put the tea down, she regained her composure. "Mr. Hill, based off the memories Princess Luna gave me, your world is not the one you'd find."

"So, can we find other worlds?" Hank asked the white mare with a hint of desperation.

"Unfortunately Hank," Twilight spoke up, "I studied the issue. It is possible to use the mirror to find other worlds, but we have no control over which one it opens up too. The multiverse has an infinite number of worlds, and we can't be sure where you'll be."

Despite being in the presence of polite company, Hank looked unabashedly morose.

"Mr. Hill," Princess Celestia said with a smile, "I have another explanation for why you're here."

Hank's expression was neutral. "Why?"

"It is possible Harmony has summoned you to Equestria for a quest, and you can't leave until they complete it." Princess Celestia said with a smile.

"Quest?" Hank asked. "You mean, I got to...like...slay a dragon." An annoyed cough echoed from across the room. Hank turned to look at Spike who was glaring at him angrily. "I meant evil dragons," Hank said sheepishly. Spike let out a snort of disbelief before waddling away with an angry mutter.

"Not necessarily," Princess Celestia said with a smirk. "The quest could be anything. It could be a battle with personal demons. It could be an emotional one. Perhaps you are here to solve a problem to face this land. Harmony has given you the opportunity to come to this land for a reason."

"Can you tell me so I can get it over with?" Hank asked impatiently. Celestia let out a small chuckle.

"Mr. Hill, these quests are your responsibility," Princess Celestia said with a sly smile. "I do not know what lesson you must learn. That is for you to find out."

Hank looked dismayed. "Oh?"

"But fret not Mr. Hill," Princess Celestia said with a small smile. "My sister and I will aid you in your quest, as will Twilight who will protect your secret."

"I will Princess and Mr. Hill," Twilight said with a small smile.

Hank was taken aback by the sincerity of both mares. "Thank you kindly. But why are you taking the time to help me?"

Twilight's smile got wider. "Because that's what friends do!" Hank was moved by the warmth in her voice, while Princess Celestia looked at Twilight like a mother proud of her child.

"I must depart now for other business," Princess Celestia said, rising from her chair. She gave one last glance at Hank. "And remember, if you need my help, don't be afraid to send me a message through Twilight." She turned to Twilight. "Good boy, my star student."

Twilight shot Princess Celestia a happy smile. "Goodbye your majesty." Princess Celestia walked out of the library to greet other ponies. Twilight looked at Hank, who looked unusually pensive.

"Mr. Hill?" Twilight asked. "Are you-,"

"I GOT IT!" Hank lept out of his chair happily. "I FIGURED OUT WHAT I MEANT TO DO!"

Twilight was taken aback by the enthusiasm the stallion showed. "What?"

Hank let out a joyful laugh. "Well, Twilight, how would you like to learn about something...clean...and...efficient."