3 Squares and a Pinkie

by Giga the Spacehog

Rating: everyone
Tags: Equestria Girls, Pinkie Pie (EqG), Rainbow Dash (EqG), Comedy, Human, Twilight Sparkle (EqG)
Length: 3927

An Equestria Girls version of 3 Squares and an Ed

Pinkie's been grounded. Marble and Limestone are standing guard. Rainbow wants to break Pinkie out. Twilight just wants to leave this alone.

Published 2019-09-16 10:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-16 10:20:01 UTC

3 Squares and a Pinkie

Rainbow Dash stared at what was in front of her with her arms crossed and a blank look on her face.

“Try to contain yourself Rainbow!” Twilight said from behind Rainbow wearing a helmet “The adrenaline of irreverence can be quite overwhelming!” then she whispered “We’re so bad…”

“What are you giving me here, Twi? Laundry chutes?” Rainbow said gesturing to the chutes in question, each one had the name of a member of Twilight’s family on them.

Twilight just clapped her hands and said “Very good Rainbow! But look closely,” she pointed at each chute “Mom’s chute, Dad’s chute, Shinning’s chute, and most importantly, my chute.” Then she looked the rainbow haired girl in the eye and said in a low voice “Rainbow, my chute has secretly been altered to make it…” she paused for effect then said loudly “The fastest ride to any basement anywhere girl! It’s gonna be awesome!”

That got the athlete’s attention “No joke!”

“No joke!” Twilight confirmed as she walked past Rainbow to a pile of pillows “But for your own safety Dash, I insist you use this pillow. Or else you’ll loss all your colour.”

But she was too late Rainbow Dash had already jumped down Twilight’s chute “Yee-haw!” she yelled as it closed behind her.

Twilight stood up straight at the noise (‘Oh no…’) she thought.

Dash meanwhile was having the time of her life as she fell and like Twilight said her colours were peeling off but she didn’t care.

Twilight stuck her head into the chute and shouted “Rainbow Dash! You get back up here and get your pillow missy!” but it was too late.

BOOM!

Rainbow Dash had reached the basement.

Rainbow (who somehow got her colours back) dug herself out of her friend’s laundry and panted to catch her breath “Bottom floor!” she cried out once she could, she was still smiling from the excitement “Boiler! Fuse box! Dirty clothes and paint cans!”

She then heard Twilight screaming and she came out of her brother’s chute with a pillow underneath her to cushion her fall. When she landed she sighed.
“And arachnids!” she added.

“Why would you have peanuts in your basement Twilight?” Rainbow asked as they got out of the baskets and Twilight adjusted her glasses before grabbing a step ladder.

“Spiders Dash!” the purple girl said as she climbed the ladder to a spider’s web in the corner of the sealing “Spider’s love basements and Missie here is ready for her weekly check-up. Aren’t you Missie?” she added to the Spider.

(‘And I thought Fluttershy was the only one who talked to animals…’) Rainbow thought turning away from her purple friend and walking over to a cupboard she spotted against the other wall.

Twilight had Missie on her finger (the spider was very use to Twilight) and the girl asked “Did you just wink at me Missie? Yes you did!” then suddenly a bright light and music blared!

Twilight quickly put Missie back on her web and climbed back down and ran over to Rainbow yelling “Don’t touch that!” she quickly turned the invention off and it stuttered and fell apart. Twilight turned to her friend annoyed "Well, I see someone has stumbled upon my collection of misfit failed inventions, nosy parker! I've kept these to remind me of failed attempts and learn from past mistakes."

But Rainbow wasn’t listening “Hey is that a volcano!” She pushed Twilight aside and dragged the volcano out.

“Rainbow, not that old thing.” Twilight said, she didn’t want her friend to hurt herself.

Rainbow still wasn’t listening “How's it work? Does something shoot out of here? Well where do you plug it in?” while she was talking she stepped on a button that activated the device and the volcano began sucking Rainbow in “Twilight!” she cried before her head was pulled in it.

Twilight couldn’t help but giggle at the sight.

“Oh you think that’s funny huh?” Rainbow asked in a dangerous voice and Twilight stopped giggling as a shadow fell over her.

“Oh dear!” Twilight cried as she ran out of the way of Rainbow slamming the volcano exactly where Twilight was seconds ago!

Seconds later Twilight ran out the front of her house and down the street as Rainbow burst through Twilight’s door and tore after her yelling “Wait till I get my hands on you!”

Twilight ran as fast as she could to Pinkie’s house and round the back of it only to stopped when she saw a string around the back garden with cans attached to it (‘What in the…?’)

Her thoughts were cut off when Rainbow tackled her and one of her legs caught on the string coursing the cans to rattle.

“Hold it right there!”

Rainbow looked up, holding Twilight’s head by the sides, and she saw two of Pinkie’s sisters, Limestone and Marble, standing there in some strange get up.

Limestone was wearing a cop hat and holding a toy gun while Marble was wearing a Bearskin on her head and was holding a piece of wood shaped like a gun.

“You’re not allowed her right now!” Limestone said pointed the toy in Rainbow’s face, making her let go of Twilight.

“Get that stupid thing out of my face Limestone.” Rainbow said pushing the toy away, only for the grey girl to whack her on the head with it “Ow!”

“Back off Dash! No one is allowed to see our sister!” Limestone said in her usual harsh voice before adopting a sweet voice that somehow sounded just as threatening “Because she’s been grounded.”

Rainbow laughed as she got to her feet “Pinkie? Grounded? Now this I’ve got to see!” and she started to walk to the basement window where she guessed Pinkie was “Coming Twilight?”

Then Limestone stuck her ‘weapon’ into Rainbow’s face “No visitors!” she snapped, pulling the other girl back to the ground.

Twilight (who had her hands up in surrender) and Marble had been watching this before glancing at each other and Marble pocked the older girl with the wood she was holding.

“D-d-d-don’t make me u-u-u-use this…!” Marble tried to snap but her shyness prevented her from sounding aggressive. “Don’t worry Twilight, it’s just a piece of wood.” She added with a small giggle.

Twilight gently pushed the wood away from herself with a finger saying “It’s all fun and games until someone gets a splinter Marble.”

“Marble!” Limestone snapped at her little sister, making her jump and run over to the other side of the basement window were Limestone was. “March!” and the two started walking up and down in front of the window while Pinkie (with her hair straight) stared miserly from the other side.

“Well guess we don’t have a choice,” Rainbow said putting an arm around Twilight’s shoulders “You’ll have to learn your lesson Pinkie! Come on Twilight, let’s pretend to walk away and…” as Rainbow led herself and Twilight back around the house she gave a sinister grin.

Minutes later as Limestone and Marble continued to march, the latter heard a rustling in the bush and she stopped.

“L-l-l-l-limestone? I t-t-t-think I’m getting heat stock from this hat…” she said her voice shacking.

“What’s wrong sis?” Limestone asked.

“Something’s moving in the bushes.” Marble whined.

“Really? Go and check it out!” Limestone said pushing Marble towards the bush.

“Ok! Ok! Just don’t push!” Marble said walking to the bush, scared that someone or something would jump out and attack.

Then the second she got close a purple and green blur jumped out and onto the top of her Bearskin saying “Hey, hey, hey! Catch me and I’ll give you me pot of gold!” It was Spike the Dog dressed in a small leprechaun suit.

“A leprechaun!” Marble said with glee.

Spike then jumped to the ground, ran around Limestone’s legs before taking off saying “Catch me and I’ll give you me lucky charms!”

Marble chased after the dog saying “I want your gold and your lucky charms! You little scamp!” and she ran off.

“Marble, get back here!” Limestone yelled, when her sister didn’t come back Limestone ran after her saying “Hey, wait for me!”

Once both Pie girls where gone Rainbow and Twilight pocked their heads round the side of the house. Twilight was looking nervous and Rainbow was grinning.

“See Twi?” the athlete said “Spike will do anything for a treat.”

“I don’t think that this is a good idea Dash…” Twilight said as they stepped into the open “I mean Pinkie’s parents will just tell our parents, it’s the Parental Ring.” She put her fingers together to look like a cycle on the last word.

“Ok then…” Rainbow said a little annoyed “Then I’ll just have to tell Pinkie that you didn’t want to see her.” She then walks off with a smirk.

Twilight looked at her friend walking away then said “Guilt tripped again… am I really that naïve?” she then followed.

Pinkie was sobbing in her families’ basement “It’s not fair…” she choked before wiping her noise and turning to the corner, best just to get it over with and not complain right?

But then the drain in the floor began to rattle and gurgle. Pinkie turned to it confused, only for the drain’s lid to come flying off and some sort of umbrella-like contraption appears and stretches the hole wide enough for Twilight and Rainbow Dash to climb out.

“Now that is just bad workmanship.” Twilight muttered. Rainbow was about to say something in return only to be cut off when Pinkie’s hair puffed back up and she ran over to her friends, giving them a massive hug and pulled them out of the hole, coursing it to close up and the umbrella to fall through it.

“TWILIY! DASHIE!” Pinkie began to spin them around in joy.

“Pinkie.” Dash said.

“Hello!” Pinkie chirped.

“Pinkie!” Dash said, a little louder.

“Hello!” Pinkie chirped again.

“PINKIE!” Dash yelled.

“Hello!” Pinkie chirped again only stopping when Rainbow put her foot in the pink girl’s face.

“We’re busting you out Pinkie!”

Pinkie’s hair deflated again as her expression fell “But I’m grounded Dashie, I can’t leave, or I’ll just make it worse.” She let go of her friends and began walking back to the box she was sitting in earlier.

“Then just be a good girl Pinkie!” Rainbow said sticking a plunger to Pinkie’s back and held her over the drain “Now get down the freaking drain.”

“BUT I DON’T WANNA!” Pinkie screamed falling onto Rainbow and running back to the box “Drains give me gas and I’m grounded remember!?” she dived into the cardboard create “If I leave I’ll be grounded again!” she then pulled the box closed and it began to tremble.

“Pinkie you’ve already been grounded.” Twilight said gently opening the box and patting Pinkie on the head.

Then Rainbow got an idea “I’ve got a plan so good to get Pinkie out of here, that even she won’t know she’s gone.”

Marble meanwhile had found a fake rainbow but had lost Spike.

“Where did he go?” she asked herself rubbing her chin.

It was then that Limestone caught up “Get back to you post!” she snapped, grabbing Marble by the back of her shirt and dragging her away.

Spike then poked his head out of the bush he was hiding in “I bought them as much time as I could.”

Twilight had used a vacuum and dressed it in Pinkie’s clothes before pushing it into the corner.

“Hurry up Twi!” Dash hissed.

“I’m going as fast as I can!” Twilight snapped back as she grabbed a pineapple and stuck it on top of the vacuum, then she put a wig that looked like Pinkie’s deflated hair “There we go!” she said stepping back to admire her handy work. Then she frowned “Something’s missing.”

“Twilight, we don’t have all day!” Rainbow said losing her patience.

“Why is Pinkie Pie sitting in a box?” Pinkie herself asked. She was now only in her undershirt and underwear.

“Pinkie…” Rainbow said grabbing the girl “Shut up and get your butt down the drain!” and she started to stuff Pinkie down the hole.

“That’s it!” Twilight said snapping her fingers, she placed an open book in front of the fake Pinkie.

“You too Sparkle!” Rainbow snapped grabbing Twilight and pulling her to the hole.

Pinkie soon found herself popping out of her own garden hose, Twilight soon fell onto Pinkie’s back and Rainbow pulled herself out of the hose.

“How does it feel to be outside Pinkie?” she asked with a grin.

“OUTSIDE PINKIE!” Pinkie yell, she then dived for the window to the basement “But I’m grounded Dashie!”

Rainbow grabbed Pinkie’s ankles “Just be a good girl Pinkie!”

Twilight walked over to them and asked “Was that window open this whole time?”

“Hold it right there!”

(‘Oh no.’) Twilight and Rainbow thought.

Limestone jumped around the corner pointing her ‘weapon’ “Freeze!” she yelled, but no one was there. Limestone looked through the basement window at the fake Pinkie and called “You better be quiet down there Pinkamena!”

Twilight, Pinkie and Rainbow where holding onto a pipe on the basement ceiling, being as quiet as possible until Limestone’s face had vanished.
Rainbow smirked “Our Pies in blue don’t have a clue.”

“But now we’re trapped with Pinkie, Dash.” Twilight pointed out.

“Just follow me.” Rainbow hissed.

Rainbow dragged her friends out of the room, covering their mouths.

“Now all we have to do is go up the-” Rainbow stopped talking when she turned and saw that the basement stairs were missing “WHAT HAPPENED TO THE STAIRS!?!?”

“My parents took them down because I’m grounded.” Pinkie explained.

“That’s… disturbing…” Twilight said slowly.

Rainbow shook her head “Whatever, they can keep the stairs,” she said gently pushing Pinkie in front of her, “because you can jump it.”

“But I’m grounded Dashie!” Pinkie wined.

“I know Pinkie you said that about thirty time already.” Rainbow said “Don’t worry. I’ve got a safety pin!” and she pulled a giant safety pin from behind her and gamed it into the floor just behind Pinkie.

“Dash! What are you doing!?” Twilight asked, choosing to not question where Rainbow had gotten the giant safety pin.

“Will you relax Twilight!” Rainbow said before grabbing Pinkie’s shoulders and pulling her backwards “Now Pinkie just lean back and jump!” and she let go.

“Zip-a-de do-da!” Pinkie said as she flew out the basement door and into the living room.

“Gracious!” Twilight yelped as she flew as well.

“Here’s Rainbow Dash!” Rainbow said as she landed beside her friends. Standing up she pulled them up as well “Behold the gates of freedom!” she reached for the front door’s handle “Now let’s get out of here before-” she was cut off when the door opened and hit them all in the face.

“Splinters aren’t fun, are they Marble?” Limestone asked as she walked through the door pulling Marble in behind her.

The youngest Pie was sitting in a small wagon with a splinter in her finger, she winced as she tried to bend the finger. Twilight, Rainbow and Pinkie realised who was coming and they ran up the nearby stairs to the second floor before Marble or Limestone could see them.

“Don’t worry…” Limestone told Marble gently as she walked in the direction of the kitchen “We’ll just get the tweezers and get it out.”

Then there was a creak upstairs. The two girls looked up at the upstairs landing, but didn’t see anything.

“Limestone, did you hear something?” Marble asked “I mean, it could just be me… Maybe this thing is giving me heat stroke.”

“I’m starting to think it is sis.” Limestone said, she then hear a squeak from Marble, turning the older girl saw that the Bearskin had fallen over Marble’s face “Will you take that thing off already?” She said irritated.

As she turned to help Marble, Twilight and Rainbow snuck across the upstairs landing as quickly as they could while covering Pinkie’s mouth.

“I can’t breathe!” Marble said in a muffled voice as Limestone pulled the fur away from her sister’s face.

“Now, let’s find those tweezers.”

Upstairs the three girls quietly slipped into a bedroom that looked like Limestones. Rainbow took her hand away from Pinkie’s mouth.

“Let’s just stay here until their gone.” She said as Twilight took her hand away.

“I’M A BAD GIRL!” Pinkie yelled “I’m grounded.” Twilight’s hand suddenly had a meeting with her forehead as Rainbow saw the window.

“Quick!” she said running for it “The window!” only to bang into it. It was closed.

Twilight was now patting Pinkie on the shoulder “I think we can get out of here with a little brainpower.”

Rainbow’s face was pressed against glass but she managed to say “Okay.”

“Pinkamena…” Limestone said though the slot in the basement door “It’s time for lunch.”

“Are you sure it’s a good idea to let her eat this?” Marble asked holding Pinkie’s lunch. Three lollipops, five pieces of fudge, an ice cream sandwich and a banana milkshake.

Limestone turned her head to Marble and said “I’d rather give her vegetables, but this is all that she’ll eat.” She turned back to the slot and looked in at what she thought was Pinkie “Look at her in there with her book… wait. Book?” she pushed open the door and marched over to the fake Pinkie asking “Where did you get that book, Pinkamena!?”

And she pulled the dummy around so hard; its head came off.

“Oh no…” Marble whispered.

Limestone lifted up the pineapple and growled.

“PINKAMENA!!!”

“Limestone knows Dashie!” Pinkie cried.

“Duh Pinkie, we hear her.” Rainbow said as Twilight was busy trying to put together the device that would (hopefully) get them out of this mess “And keep your shirt on.”

Pinkie was actually trembling so much that her shirt was slipping off her shoulders.

“No really.” Rainbow said tugging Pinkie’s shirt back up properly “Keep your shirt on.”

Marble ran outside blowing her whistle while Limestone ran up the stairs to the second floor blowing her own.

Twilight had finally finished what she was working on. A giant kite!

Pinkie was a really mess “Let me remind you that I’m-”

“As free as a bird Pinkie!” Rainbow said, cutting Pinkie off and grabbing Twilight who had just opened the window.

Just then Limestone burst through the door “Got you!”

But Rainbow got herself, Pinkie and Twilight out of the window “Not good! Not good!” Twilight screamed as the kite lifted them into the air.

“Go baby! Go!” Rainbow said with a smile as they flew higher and higher. Only for the string to run out and the kite to fly away.

The three girls hung in the air for a moment, then Twilight said “Why do I keep letting this kind of stuff happen?” then the girls fell down screaming.

A shadow appeared over Marble and she looked up to see what it was only…

BAM!

For whatever it was landed on her, leaving a hole in the ground.

Pinkie’s head rose out of the hole with something in her mouth, she coughed up Rainbow Dash, who coughed up Twilight, who coughed up Marble.

“I think I’m gonna faint…” the grey girl whimpered.

“Marble!” Limestone cried as she arrived, she then grabbed Marble “You get out of there!” and with a tug she pulled Marble out of Twilight and the force resulted in Twilight coming out of Rainbow’s mouth and Rainbow out of Pinkie’s. Limestone then grabbed Pinkie’s face “Guess what little sis? I’M TELLING MOM AND DAD!”

Twilight pushed herself up “You remember that Parental Ring I mentioned earlier, Rainbow?”

“Oh great…” Rainbow moaned as she sat up “Now we’re gonna get it…”

Sometime later Twilight was reading a book in her room when a makeshift telephone hanging by the window rang, Twilight put the book down and walked over to answer it.

“Twilight Sparkle here, over.” She said once it was on her head.

Rainbow Dash’s voice answered “This sticks!”

“Dash please say ‘over’ when you’re done talking, over.” Twilight said calmly.

Rainbow was in her room talking into her own makeshift telephone, “Well this does stick! After congratulating me on being the best troublemaker my parents grounded me for two months… over.” She added the last word with slight annoyance.

“Four days for me Dash, over.” Twilight said, trying not to sound proud of herself.

“What?! Why?!...Over…” Rainbow asked shocked that her friend got off so easily.

“Well my parents knew that I was forced into doing the breakout with you.” Twilight explained “But they felt that I still needed to be punished for not trying to stop it, over.”

Then a new voice joined in the conversation “Ha! Pun-ished! That’s funny! Over!”

“Pinkie?” Rainbow asked.

“Pinkie? Over.” Twilight asked tapping the makeshift telephone, not noticing the wire being pulled out the window.

“Never mind Pinkie.” Rainbow said “I’ve got a plan that will-!” before she could finish, all three girls were slammed against their walls. “Ouchy.”

“Ow… over…” Twilight moaned.

“That was fun!” Pinkie chirped.

Then they were slammed against their walls again.

“The line must be-” Twilight began before slamming against the wall again.

“Oh my aching-” Rainbow moaned before slamming against the wall back first.

“Do it again!” Pinkie cheered and soon got her wish.

The parents of the girls were standing outside, just below Twilight’s window, talking only to hear the bangs and look up.

“What the…” Cloudy Quartz (Pinkie’s mother) asked surprised.

Night Light (Twilight’s father) noticed the wire going out of his daughter’s window. “I think it’s got something to do with that.” He said pointing at it.

The six adults followed the wire and found Limestone using the handle of an umbrella to pull the wire down, over and over.

“I-I-I don’t think this is a good idea.” Marble (who was sitting nearby) said “What if we’re caught?”

“Who cares?” Limestone asked with a grin, tugging the line again. “I mean whose going to see?”

“Yes. Who indeed?” Cloudy said crossing her arms and coursing her daughters to freeze.

Less than an hour later, Limestone was sulking in her room muttering threats under her breath. Her door opened and her older sister Maud stepped in, a blank look on her face as usual.

“What do you want?” Limestone growled.

Maud just reached into her pocket and took out her pet rock Bolder and set him on the nightstand next to the door. Limestone raised an eyebrow.

“Keep an eye on her boy.” Maud said in her usual emotionless voice, patting the rock before walking out the door and closing it.

Limestone crossed her arms and turned her head away from the rock. A moment later she turned back and stared at the rock.

“What?” she scowled, no answer. For the rest of the day Limestone just couldn’t shake the feeling that Bolder was watching her.

When evening fell Twilight put her book down and thought over the day. Ture she had gotten into trouble, but overall compared to her friends, Twilight got off easy.

Sighing Twilight turned off the light and got into bed “That’s the last time I help Rainbow Dash break someone out of something.”

The End

Author's Note

Hey, someone on Deviantart already made comics of this, so why not make a story?