How I Fell In Love With A Pony

I would say that my parents experienced the “stapled mouth effect” I’ve referred to before, but that would be doing their reaction a disservice. When I told them all about Equestria and Ponyville and Canterlot and my adventures there, I swear their mouths shot through the floor and ended up in the basement. Their wide eyes and shocked expressions told the entire tale. They couldn’t believe that I had gone to a land filled with talking ponies, and that one of them was sitting in their living room.

“So…” My dad said to Twilight once his complexion and sanity returned to normal, “…you’re the ruler of this Equestria place?”

“Yes, sir,” she said politely, “I’ve ruled for about a year now. It’s been short, but it’s been fun. Hectic, and at times jarringly unexpected, but fun nonetheless.”

“You are dating our son, right?” My mother asked.

“Yes,” she said, “and I love him very much.”

She wrapped an arm around my waist and cuddled closer to me. I felt the warmth of her breath near my cheek, and she rested her head on my shoulder. In that moment, I realized that the small movements and tiny clues of love she gave were one of the big motivators in my affections. She did this all the time back in Equestria, and I was extremely happy to see that this part of her had transitioned into my world. I turned and smiled at her, and she returned the gesture.

“And I love her,” I said.

“But, son…she’s a pony,” Dad said bluntly, “I mean, no offense, Twilight, but we have a certain view on ponies in our world.”

“I understand,” she responded kindly, “and no offense taken. I know humans keep ponies as pets and livestock, and that’s alright. We keep livestock in our world as well.”

“You do?” My mother asked in surprise.

“Yes. My good friend Applejack owns a farm, and she keeps all kinds of animals there. I guess…we ponies live the same way you humans do, only we eat a lot more hay.”

Here she chuckled, and I could tell that my parents’ perceptions of her switched in an instant. She meant no harm to anybody in our world, and she only came because she loved me so much and she loved learning new things so much. Her laugh was genuine, and my parents seemed to hang on it. They’re falling in love with her laugh just like I did, I told myself, good. Maybe Mom and Dad will approve of this relationship.

“Well, considering that you are human here, and he would be a pony if he were there, I am completely satisfied with this,” he said, “and I’m proud to have you as our newest friend.”

They smiled at her, and she perked up even more. Her systems seemed to be back to the way they were in Equestria, and I could tell that she was very excited by the turn of events. After all of the horrifying things she had read about the history of humanity, the first few she had met in my world had been wonderful. I could almost see the wheels of her mind turning in her beautiful purple gaze, and she smiled back at my parents.

“Thank you for your kindness,” she said, “I wasn’t sure how you were gonna react to me. I mean, it’s not every day that a human male tells his parents he’s in a romantic relationship with a pony female.”

“We had always hoped our son would find a wonderful, kind, and sweet young lady to call his own,” my dad said, “and I believe our wish has come true.”

With that, Mom and Dad gave Twilight the customary tour of our home. They took her all around, showing off every last bit of the craft that they had poured their hearts and souls into building. I tagged along, wanting very much to see Twilight’s reactions to everything. She wasn’t visibly shaken by much, as a lot of this was customary back in her world, but her favorite thing of all was the garage and the vehicles that resided there. Considering the lack of cars back in Equestria, she was awestruck by what she referred to as “motorized carts.”

“It’s fantastic!” She said, “the idea that motion can be made perpetual through the use of mechanized units! I’m shocked nopony in Equestria has thought of this! I mean, we do have our fair share of brilliant minds.”

“Yours being one of them,” I complimented lovingly.

“Oh, stop,” she said, blushing, “I know there are minds out there that are way more brilliant than my own.”

“That’s not what you said at Trivia Trot last Tuesday…”

She coughed and cleared her throat as I reveled in getting to make her blush once again. I didn’t do it out of meanness or a want of embarrassing her, I just loved it whenever her cheeks turned that cute shade of red and she ran a hand through her hair (or hoof through her mane, depending on the world). I quickly caught her and kissed her cheek, trying to reassure her that I wasn’t attempting anything spiteful. “Was that too much?” I asked.

“No,” she said, smiling, “I know you enjoy making me blush.”

“Then this should make you blush even more.”

With that, I pulled her into a kiss in front of my parents. I could feel her cheeks becoming flushed with color once again, but she pulled me ever deeper. When we broke for air, I turned back and noticed tears hanging in my mother’s eyes. “Oh, my little boy,” she choked out, “I remember…when you…were…only…ONE!”

With that, she broke down and began sobbing into my father’s shoulder. He patted her back and tried to console her. Twilight and I both stepped forward, and she pulled out and looked down at us before wrapping Twilight up in a hug. “Thank you,” she said, “you don’t know what your love is doing to our son.”

“I hope it’s all good…” Twilight said nervously.

My mother pulled back and looked at her. “It’s marvelous!” She said happily, “you see, he’d been rejected by all the girls he’d ever asked out. You simply agreeing to go out with him once probably broke through a lot of social anxiety that he’s felt for so long. But now, to see him happily loving someone…it just…makes me…so happy!”

She smiled at both of us as we all went back inside our house. The rest of the day was filled to the brim with Twilight constantly questioning me about the things of my world. Everything from American politics to American history to movies to literature to music. If it was based in my world, she wanted to know more and more about it, and I was happy to help feed her ravenous appetite. She flipped through a lot of the books that lined my own walls, and we once again rekindled our discussions about the written word. Many a wonderful evening had been spent in her library, and now I got to introduce her to mine.

After dinner (which Twilight raved about, calling my mother’s homemade spaghetti sauce the best thing she’d ever tasted), we settled in to watch some television. My favorite sports team, the Atlanta Braves, was playing and Twilight was intensely interested in it. “So…” she said as the first inning began, “…the main object of this game is to hit the ball with the bat and then run the bases.”

“Right,” I responded, “and if the ball gets from one defender to another before you touch the base, you’re out. Once three outs have been recorded, then the teams switch sides.”

“Fascinating!” She said with her eyes wide.

As the game progressed, she turned into the biggest Braves fan in the world. One of our players, third baseman Josh Donaldson, hit a really long home run. The fans in the stadium went nuts, and so did Twilight. She whooped and hollered and I fell in love with her all over again. These simple things, I told myself, that’s what makes me love you so much. Your love of anything that can bring you knowledge and joy, coupled with your wondrous friendship, is truly ravishing. You have amazing physical features, but…your heart is what is truly beautiful. I will be with you always…I promise.