Z Klhg-Kzigb Mrtsg'h Wivzn (Atbash)
Years ago…after the First Rainboom…
In all her years working on the rock farm, few as they had been, Pinkie Pie had never felt so exhausted before. The glow of abundant happiness was still in her heart, but the rest of her body, even her mind, was weary.
An entire night had been spent planning the jubilant event for her family. Making pastries, blowing balloons, hanging streamers, and decorating the drab silo had been no small feat. And to top it all off, she had to keep a lid on all of it, lest she spoil the surprise. Containing that much excitement had been previously unknown to the little pony, which had added to the toll she had taken.
Her older sister, Limestone, walked over and gently took her hoof. She was still smiling down at her little sister. “You’ve done good, Pinkie,” she said.
“You really think so?” Pinkie replied with a yawn. “I hope so. I’m so tired.”
“Come on, let’s get you to bed.”
Limestone led Pinkie upstairs to the bedrooms the three sisters shared. Marble was already fast asleep, and the smile she still had brought a tired one to Pinkie’s face. Pinkie hopped into her bed, where Limestone tucked her in and kissed her forehead. She recoiled when the curly mop of hair now atop Pinkie’s head repelled her.
“Sweet dreams,” Limestone said, quietly walking over to her bed.
“Night,” Pinkie replied with another yawn. It didn’t take long for Pinkie to drift off to sleep, amidst thoughts of balloons and party favors.
Soon, the balloons grew more and more vivid in shape, until Pinkie could almost feel the strings tied to them tickle her as they drifted past. Pinkie sat up in bed, wide awake. However, with a look at her surroundings, she wasn’t entirely sure.
The farmhouse had been drab before, but now it looked downright greyscale. The curtains on the open window were frozen in time, mid-flap in an evening breeze. Pinkie looked down at herself, to find herself fully in color and fully able to move.
“Limestone? Marble?” she called to her sisters, but they too didn’t move. They were both sleeping soundly, but they made no movements or sounds. Pinkie frowned with worry and quickly got out of bed, going over to check on them.
They felt normal to the touch, which was some relief, but they wouldn’t stir. Pinkie frowned in confusion, then realized the balloons she had been dreaming of were in the room with her. And they were fully colored and animated.
“Wh-What’s going on here?” Pinkie stuttered. She quickly climbed back into her bed, pulling the covers around her and trembling.
“You’re in the Mindscape, kid.”
Pinkie looked up to see a floating triangle before her. He was hardly bigger than her in size, and yellow in color with a similar glow around his body, casting light down on her. He was stylized to look like a pyramid, and had thin black arms and legs. A top hat floated just above the tip of his body and he proudly wore a black bowtie. Most notable was his singular eye above the bowtie, which had curly eyelashes.
“Who are you?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head. “And what’s the Mindscape?” The triangle didn’t seem threatening, given his size. She was mostly interested in how he could possibly talk without a mouth.
“The Mindscape is…well, the space inside your head,” the triangle said, miming knocking aside his body. His glow flickered as he spoke, but it didn’t answer Pinkie’s curiosity. “You’re awake in your head right now, but not in reality.”
“O…kay?” Pinkie frowned, still a little puzzled. “How come I’ve never been there before? I think I’d remember something like that.”
“Well, you’d need someone special like me to pull you into it. It’s not something easy to do otherwise. You’ll return home when I leave, don’t worry.”
“Okay then.” Pinkie beamed, lowering her guard. “So what brings you to my Mindscape, Mr. Triangle?”
“Well, I was passing through the proverbial neighborhoods, and I couldn’t help notice you’ve had a big day today. Something about a…surprise?” The triangle rubbed just under his eye like it was a chin.
Pinkie broke out in a big grin. “Yeah! I saw this huge rainbow-looking wave in the sky, and it made me so happy! So I spent all of last night making a party to surprise my parents and sisters, just so I could make them happy.” She sighed. “I just wish Maud was here too.”
“So, you’re good at making surprises?” the triangle inquired.
“Yep!”
“See, I could use someone special like you right now. I was out and about looking for some inspiration when I found you,” the triangle said. He had a sly tone in his voice Pinkie didn’t catch. “I was looking to…surprise someone, and I could use a few pointers.”
“Oh? Like what?” Pinkie tilted her head again.
“What would you say was crucial to this surprise you sprung today? What made it truly a work of art for you? Obviously you put a lot of effort into it.”
Pinkie nodded and thought, propping her chin up on one hoof as she stared up at the ceiling. “Well, Mr. Triangle, I’d say the important thing about the surprise I did for my family was…well, my family. I mean, I wanted them to be as happy as I was seeing that rainbow thingy. They mean a lot to me, and I love them.”
The triangle turned from her, his eye darting left and right in manic thought. Images flickered across his body as he thought aloud in his own way. Among them were an angry looking man holding a maroon journal, a blue and white trucker hat with a blue pine tree on the front, and a magenta sweater emblazoned with a shooting star. His eye widened in realization, the images fading.
“Of course!” he exclaimed. “How could I not have thought of that? Family! Family’s important to him!”
“Who’s him?” Pinkie asked as the triangle turned back to her.
“The guy I’m going to surprise,” the triangle said, in a brush off sort of way. “Kid, you’ve really helped me out here. You know, I make deals with people for whatever their hearts want if they help me in return. So, tell you what: seeing as you’ve helped me, what does your little heart want?”
Pinkie gasped. “You can really do that?”
“I’m a very special being. You might say I’m one of a kind,” the triangle said smugly. “What does an adorable little filly on a rock farm like this want?”
Pinkie’s eyes sparkled. The very possibility of such a question overwhelmed her small mind. She could have anything her heart wanted: unlimited cake, a lot of bits to buy things, all the stuffed animals she could ever want. The choices were too limitless to just ask for one thing.
However, the conversation with the triangle stuck out to her. The surprise party had been for her family, and she had worked extra hard on it. What if there were more important parties to be had in the future? Would she be prepared? Spreading the happiness she felt was running through her veins, so her answer, in her own mind, seemed the obvious choice.
“Mr. Triangle, I don’t really know how to say it, but…I want to be able to keep spreading happiness. I was so tired after the party today. I just…I want to be able to spread that kind of happiness without getting tired.”
The triangle nodded, or rather bobbed his body. “What you want, kid, is the ability of limitless partying. Being able to do extraordinary things to entertain and help others. Being able to remember important things and to know important things others might not. To see what others might not be able to. A limitless energy source and a sixth sense.”
“That sounds about right,” Pinkie replied after a pause.
“I gotta warn you, though: this kind of stuff is tied to your emotions. While you’re super happy, you’ll be supercharged. But, should you fall into sadness or depression, you’ll lose them until you become cheerful again,” the triangle cautioned.
“Well, I don’t think that’s going to be a problem.” Pinkie gave a confident smile. “Not with how happy I feel.”
The triangle chuckled. “I like your confidence, kid.” He extended a hand to her, encased in blue fire. “We have to shake to seal the deal. Don’t worry, it doesn’t hurt.”
Pinkie looked at his hand, and with hardly a second of hesitation, put her hoof in it. The blue fire engulfed her hoof until the triangle released her. Sure enough, it didn’t hurt. She looked herself over, and though she couldn’t feel anything different, some sense within her was tingling.
“You’re going to do great things, Pinkamena Diane Pie,” the triangle said with a sigh of content, hands on his slanted sides in place of his hips.
Pinkie gasped. “How’d you know my name?”
“I know lots of things, like the fact that that’s not what you go by, Pinkie Pie.”
Pinkie gasped again. “Wow…” she muttered.
“Your power will take some getting used to, but I think you’ll find it satisfactory.” The triangle tipped his top hat to her. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon.”
“I hope so.” Pinkie smiled. “Thank you so much, Mr. Triangle.”
“Please, call me Bill. Ta-ta!”
There was a blinding blue light, and all at once, Pinkie snapped awake with a soft gasp. She was back in her bedroom, which though drab, was anything but greyscale. The curtains at the window once again were moving in a quiet evening breeze. Her sisters were breathing evenly in their sleep.
Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief. At first, she thought the encounter with the triangle had been a dream. Then her tail twitched. Her limbs felt rubbery, but not in a dull way – rather, an elastic sort of way. The tuft of hair above her forehead twitched on its own.
Then she turns to look at you, and blinks in surprise. She gives you a wave and a happy smile before settling back into bed, one last contented sigh before a restful sleep.
*******
Present Day…
“I must simply thank you for the exquisite cakes,” Discord said to Pinkie Pie. He swiped the tablecloth out from under the stacks of platters and plates on the table without budging a single one, and lightly dabbed at his mouth with it.
Fluttershy had offered him the idea of having lunch at Sugarcube Corner, with the intention of her chaotic friend getting to know her closest friends better. Pinkie Pie had been an obvious first choice, with her happy-go-lucky personality so closely matching Discord’s casual attitude with things.
“You’re welcome,” replied Pinkie, taking some of the dishes up to take to the kitchen downstairs. The spirit of chaos had quite an appetite for pastries, which, thankfully, Sugarcube Corner had plenty of.
“No, no, no,” Discord said, shaking a finger. “That simply won’t do. As the host, you’ve done quite enough.” He snapped his fingers and the dishes and platters flew into the air. A raincloud, poofing into existence, hosed each one down, before they floated over to an animated towel for drying. They finished their journey in neat, organized stacks on the table.
“You can really do some neat stuff, Discord,” Pinkie said, sitting back down at the table. The tuft of hair above her forehead picked up a napkin off the table and dabbed her cheeks and mouth with it.
“Your capabilities are quite astounding as well, for a mere pony. No offense, of course,” Discord said. “How in the world did you ever become capable of such things?”
“What do you mean?” Pinkie tilted her head, the tuft of hair discarding the napkin.
“Well, that animated hair of yours, being able to remember everyone’s birthdays, and all the feats that Fluttershy has told me about.” Discord sat back in his chair. “All without any means to perform any sort of magic.”
Pinkie shrugged. “Well, I never told Twilight because she seemed upset enough trying to figure it out herself, but...the farthest back I can remember doing this stuff was right after the first party I ever threw. I had a weird dream with some sort of triangle in it, and the next day, I was super hyper. Crazy, huh?”
Discord looked slightly shocked at first, then a sly smirk crossed his face. He stroked his goatee and with a knowing smile, looked to the ceiling. “Bill, you sly dog,” he thought, before turning his attention back to Pinkie.
“Yes, that is quite the crazy occurrence,” he simply mused.
Author's Note
Date of Creation (D.o.C.): 08/31/19
Once again, I must state my knowledge of My Little Pony is limited. I’ve seen three episodes, fallen down a few clip rabbit holes, and pieced together the rest from the community and the wiki. That being said, I do know that a certain princess tried to figure out the pink blur’s secrets, so I figured I’d try my own spin.
I am a fan of references, easter eggs, fourth wall breaks, and general self-awareness in cartoons and movies. Needless to say, watching Pinkie Pie in action enough made her my favorite pony of the group, whether it’s her homicidal, gypsy, filly, or fully grown form. From what I like to call the “Bugs Bunny Switcheroo” (defined simply as “wabbit season, duck season”) to literally making a Transformer transformation noise, Pinkie Pie exceeds Discord, who I would think would be the god of such things. Surely, there has to be a crazy explanation, right?
I get it. The joy she felt was a powerful experience. But to do what she does best, Pinkie had to have some kind of outside influence. Enter my favorite multiverse meddler: Bill Cipher. The first part of the story, I would guesstimate on the fact that time seems so hard to nail down in Friendship is Magic, takes place right after Bill is shunned by Ford. He’s looking for a way to get back at him. Too mad to think, he searches the multiverse for inspiration. And finds one very tired filly with expertise in surprises right after her first party. Pinkie inadvertently creates the Gravity Falls that we see play out. In addition, Bill gets another pawn for future use. After all, once freed from the Mindscape, Earth would just be the first universe in a vast multiverse.
And of course, Discord knows Bill. They’re too similar and too multiversal not to bump into one another. As for the song I listened to while writing this, it was “Waving to You” from Adventure Time, in case you want to listen while you read.
-yours truly,
The Legendary Bill Cipher
