Chapters Coming To Terms With Coming Out
I’ve been told that revealing secrets are like picking bandages off of wounds. What lies behind the bandage is unknown and that is what is feared. What awaits after the bandage is lifted and the wound is left to the cold harsh world that it was being shielded from? Will it be left to heal, even when exposed, will there be enough trust and patience to see it fully healed? Will it get scratched and torn, left to hemorrhage to a point where no bandage can stop the bleeding? The symbolism probably got lost somewhere along the line as I digress, but so it goes. The problem that I faced was that my...my love, Pipsqueak, wanted us to come out to his parents. I always have a struggle saying that out loud, ever since he proposed the idea.
“Come on, Feather! It’ll be alright. I’m sure they will be fine with us bei-” I didn’t let Pipsqueak finish that sentence before I covered his mouth with my hoof, shifting my eyes around the area to make sure no one heard.
“Heyheyheyhey, let’s not get so loud, alright?” We were in the middle of a cafe during the lunch rush; there was enough noise to conceal a murder.
Pipsqueak moved to push my hoof away from his mouth, his eyes glancing me over. He could tell I was shaking, he had gotten so quick at seeing the signs by that point that there was little I could do to hide it from him, though that didn’t stop me from trying.
I stopped myself from doing anything more to worry him, though the damage was already done. “Feather, I know you’re sensitive about...about this,” He stopped for a moment, scrunching his face in thought, “This topic and all, but I really think you need to find a way to fix this. I know it was near impossible to tell me, and I appreciate and cherish each moment we’ve shared after you did, but I can’t just watch as you continuously try to hide who we are.”
Ever since that day and the dance all those months ago, we’ve been secret coltfriends. I say secret because I did not want to give the student council another reason to dislike me, not to mention the still taboo nature of homosexuality in the country would not put us in anyone’s favor. Filthy Rich and Diamond Tiara swore not to tell anypony. That’s all I had to go off of for them. The Orchestra ponies, save for Octave and Noteworthy, didn’t really care, so that’s a plus. I tried to leave my comfort zone with him, going to ‘hangout’ with him more often, which was what we coded for dates, showing signs of affection when we knew we were, let me rephrase, when I knew were were completely alone. It was always triple checking the area, my heart racing as our bodies got close to each other, stockpiling excuses as to why I would be nuzzling him or vice versa or holding hooves if somehow somepony so happened to see us.
The paranoid protocols did nothing but fill me further with anxiety, but as soon as Pip finally got restless and cuddled up with me, those fears fled my mind as my whole body flooded with a near instant sense of calm, feeling, cuddling, and hugging the only pony that mattered in my life. It was in those instances of calm that I was most motivated to improve our situation. With the date that was happening that day, it was clear that Pipsqueak was getting tired of it all. I didn’t blame him in the slightest. I could only thank him for putting up with it all for as long as he did.
I could only avert my eyes from his worried gaze. It wasn’t fair to him for me to keep our relationship a secret any longer, but I couldn’t think of telling anypony about it without my heartbeat pounding in my ears. “I will find a way to be comfortable with it, I promise.” I finally said, meekly and unsure of myself, but I meant it.
He knew. He always knew when I was lying or telling the truth, well almost always, but that’s for another time. “Alright. I’ll keep you to it.” Pipsqueak sighed and gazed around the cafe before his eyes settled on something behind my chair. “I guess you ought to be running off, soon, shouldn’t you? It’s a quarter to four.”
I turned swiftly to the clock, inhaling sharply through my teeth, “Oh no. It got late quick. Can you flag down the waiter so we can get our check?” I asked, organizing my book bags and pulling out my bag of bits to pay.
Pipsqueak nodded and caught the attention of our waiter, Monte Cristo, “Yes, was there anything else you needed?”
“Our bill, please”
“Right away, gentlecolts. I hope you both enjoyed your meals.” He said, reaching into a pocket in his apron for the bill.
“Oh, absolutely. My grilled hay panini tasted amazing!” I chimed in while counting the bits needed. Ever since the trip, Mr. Rich set me up with an...allowance of sorts that I could use on whatever I wanted. I don’t remember his exact reasoning behind the very generous offer, but I think he said something about compensation. It renewed every other week, and I primarily used it on food and supplies, and the occasional cost of wherever Pip and I hung out.
“I’m so glad to hear that, and I’m sure the chef will be happy as well. We wouldn’t want bad food to ruin a date,” Monte smiled, picking up the bits for the bill.
My smile dropped. Were we being too loud? Did he hear us? How does he know? Will he tell others? My mind went on panic, red-alert mode, trying to figure out some kind of lie to stomp down any suspicions. The only thing that came out of my mouth was sputtering and jumbled speech that wasn’t even close to being comprehensible.
“I-I’m sorry. Did I say something wrong?” Our waiter asked, now worried about the frantic mess I had become.
“Oh, no. It’s fine. It’s just that we aren’t dating. We’re just hanging out, that’s all.” I can only wonder how hurt Pipsqueak felt after saying that. It wasn’t the first time he covered for us while I tried to keep my heart from stopping, but I knew it always hurt him to hide our love for each other. “He just gets all flustered about it whenever someone brings it up.”
The waiter looked at Pip, who was chuckling nervously, then to me, who was shaking and still trying to come up with any kind of understandable sentence to defend my case with, in vain of course, then raised an eyebrow and gave us a coy smile, “Alright. Well, sorry about that. You two have a great day.” He made his way back to the cash register to till our bill.
I was trapped in my own thoughts for a few more seconds before Pipsqueak tapped on my shoulder and pointed a hoof back to the clock. That was enough to light the fire back under my seat. “Don’t wanna be late for class, do ya, Mr. SmartyPants?” Pipsqueak jeered.
“Stop it. I’m goin,” I got up and slung my saddlebags over my back, making my way to the exit. “I’ll fix it. I promise,” I said, looking back at him to see a hopeful smile staring back at me. It would be fixed. I had to fix it.
I walked outside, the October air nipping at my face and body as I quickly cantered towards the school of friendship. It was partially my idea, partially Pipsqueaks, to dual enroll into classes at Princess Twilight’s school. It gave me something to preoccupy my time when not with Pip or obsessing about being found out. The path was well know, the autumnal colors blurring past me since I didn’t have the usual time to appreciate the scene around me. Cobblestone turned to dirt to crystal as I arrived just in time to get to my class only to find an empty classroom save for two others, a seafoam green colt and a marine blue Griffin. They were sitting in chairs next to each other, holding hoof and claw, talking about something that I couldn’t make out since my heart was beating fast in my ears. When my presence finally known to them, they both reflexively tore themselves from each other, blushing and not making eye contact.
“Class was cancelled.” The seafoam green colt said, his voice sounding far western, like close to Los Pegasus, near Californeigha, a surfer pony.
“Every creature else saw the note and went home already.” The Griffin squawked. I’m not sure, but there was something pitched oddly in his voice, almost as if it were used to yelling.
I had to take a moment to catch my breath, my body not at all fit enough to have taken that kind of abuse. “Oh, that would have been nice to know before I ran across town to get here.”
I panted, my breath slowly but surely returning. I decided to take a seat and rest for a bit. “So, what now?”
Author's Note
Hello once again, ladies, gentlemen, and everyone in between. I'm back with another pipe dream story that I came up when on that 3AM ape brain. I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoy writing it. Let me know what you think! Thanks
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
Author's Note
Chapter 2! I was struggling a bit with this chapter. Let me know if you can tell. I'm doing this alone so far, but I might get another set of eyes on it if I feel I'm at a loss. Once again, thanks for reading and stay tuned for more.
So Overt, It's Covert
The lecture hall was painfully quiet, save for the awkward shuffling of the two others that were with me. They looked antsy, as if counting the nanoseconds till I left. I remembered that they were holding hooves/claws. Their uncomfortability with me being there was also evident, as if just my presence was hindering them from being themselves. I guess it made sense, since they don’t know me all that well and probably didn’t expect me to be staying for as long as I was.
“So, did you guys finish the homework?” I made an attempt at small talk with them, hoping to have them feel more comfortable and make me feel less awkward.
My attempt did neither of those things, and instead made the silence between us even more oppressive. Finally, after a long 20 seconds, Sandbar chimed in, “No, not really. I kinda heard around the school that class was gonna be cancelled, so I thought ‘why bother’, you know?”
Gallus chimed in, “Yeah, and I heard from Sandy-I mean Sandbar, so I didn’t do it either.” Gallus’ cheeks grew redder than before.
“Oh,” Was all I really could say, leaving the dead air to settle again as I tried my best to think of something else, anything, to broach the subject of their behavior. I couldn’t really think of anything, so I did one of the riskiest things I have ever done. “A-are you two dating?” My face was still flushed from the running, but the blush renewed itself in full strength after I asked that.
That face...that Tartarus cursed face that Gallus made after I asked was core shaking. It was as if all emotions, save for a deep eldritch sense of horror, were sucked out of his body with a straw. I could almost hear his heart stopping, then skyrocketing into his throat as he struggled and sputtered, trying desperately to make some type of coherent sentence. So that was it. That was what I looked like whenever I went into a panic. It looked painful, as if his whole world was collapsing in front of him.
Then, there was Sandbar, who was tightly gripping onto the Griffin’s claw, whispering what I could only assume were words of comfort. That’s what Pip would do. He looked tired and worried, as if he had seen this all before.
While coaxing Gallus to a more acceptable breathing rate, Sandbar turned his attention to me, “It usually works.” He said flat out, not sounding angry, I hoped.
“W-what does?” I asked, regretting everything I’d done in the past five minutes.
“Our way of staying under the radar. He can usually brush it off or play it up, you know? Overly present, mocking whoever asked. He would say something really, and I mean really, gay. I would go along with it. It usually works,” Sandbar turned back to his friend, “Though I guess you are still kinda shocked about that invitation, aren’t you?”
Gallus began to compose himself again, nodding to Sandbar.
“I-i’m sorry. I didn’t know you would react like that. I didn’t mean anything bad by asking. I just-” I cut myself short, my body locking up at the thought of the next part of the sentence.
“You just what? Wanted to give me a freaking heart attack?” Gallus asked harshly, a wavering aggression building up in his voice.
“No! I just-I just-,” I couldn’t say it. I pushed myself, willed myself with every fiber of my being but I could not bring myself to say the end of that sentence.
“Would you spit it out already?!” Gallus roared, his anger growing.
“I just wanted to know that there were other ponies like me” I said, lowering my eyes, hoping they wouldn’t see the tears starting to form. It wasn’t that I was crying from Gallus yelling at me, rather I had forced myself into a lose-lose situation where I was going to admit one of my deepest, darkest secrets to essentially some strangers. I hated it. It brought me back to Vanhoover. I was so scared, so alone, so confused, running around nearly mad from hiding from the things I had no idea about. When I came to class, I hadn’t expected to spill my guts then and there. Gallus had Sandbar, I was alone. It was an issue I needed to fix alone, so I suppose it was only right.
Gallus cocked his head, probably wondering if he heard me right. “What?”
I held my head in my hooves, trying my hardest not to freak out then and there, the word that I hated saying out loud on the tip of my tongue, filling my mouth with an acrid taste that begged me to keep it shut. I grit my teeth, my mind repeating it over and over again in hopes that my voice would pick up and say it. Panic rose steadily inside of me, the eyes of the two in front of me watching, waiting for something to happen, for me to confess my sins. They were the first witnesses outside of Pip to hear the two words that plagued my mind and caused me so much anxiety that I almost passed out when I said it out loud to him.
“I’m gay!” I cried, immediately biting my forehoof and burying my face into the desk I was sitting at, knowing deep down somewhere that they weren’t going to yell at me, hurt me, or make fun of me since they were too, but still bracing for pain all the same.
I waited.
And waited.
And waited, for something to happen.
But nothing did.
After two minutes, I looked up from the desk, tears streaming down my eyes, my hoof bruised from how long I was biting it. I saw two blurry figures still staring at me. I wiped my eyes to see the pair, Gallus still looking in shock, Sandbar staring at me with a sad smile.
Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable, the two of them observing me in one of my most vulnerable moments, as if I were some kind of anomaly. Finally, Sandbar got up and, after whispering something to gallus, walked over to me. He frowned when he saw what I had done to my foreleg, but either chose not to comment on it or knew there was nothing he could say. I watched his every movement, making my skin crawl as he began to move a hoof to my shoulder. I schooched away from him as soon as he touched it, causing him to reflexively jerk his hoof away. I must have scared him.
“Featherweight?” He said in a soft tone, his mellow nature somehow finding a way to drip into it.
I heard that tone before, that demeanor, as if Luna were whispering in my ear once again, comforting me. I looked up to him, his soft, easygoing smile putting me at ease.
“Thank you,” He said, throwing me through a loop.
I looked at him, perplexed at his statement, since none of what I had just done was deserving of any thanks, “For what? Entertainment?” I asked, attempting to smooth out the tension and calm everypony down, mainly me.
“For giving us that little push.” Sandbar pointed over to Gallus.
“There’s some kind of club that we got invited to that is based around creatures like us who are having a hard time coming…” Gallus’ voice petered out before he hit his closed claw onto the table, “Who are having a hard time coming out as,” He clenched his claw harder, “As Gay.”
It seemed he had as hard of time as I did when it came to saying that word. Though I hadn’t really focused on that part, rather the ‘club’ he was talking about. “What? There’s a club for that?” I raised my head a bit higher from the table.
“That’s what we were thinking,” Gallus said with equal astonishment, “but there it was, just a slip of paper slid underneath our dorm door giving a name, day, and time. No idea who put it there,” Gallus scrunched his face in a bit, “or how they found out, but we weren’t going to go to it.”
“You weren’t going to go to it. I wanted to, but I knew how you would get. I didn’t want you to feel uncomfortable,” Sandbar chimed in, a sly smile on his face, still standing next to me.
Gallus rolled his eyes and blushed, “Well, now I think I want to go. You should come with us,” He paused, as if trying to remember something, “F-Featherweight?” He ended the sentence off with a question, he must not have known my name as well as Sandbar did.
I lightly snorted, “Yeah. Yeah, I think I might like that.” I took a quick look at the damage I had done to myself this time, “I need help with that myself.”
That night went a lot better than I think any one of us thought it would after the whole introductory debacle. We talked, getting to know each other a bit better, not daring to pick at the more obvious topic for fear of a relapse. Really, it was me getting to know the other two better. I didn’t mind, since I thought that was what was going to get me through going to such a place as a Coming out club or whatever it was. It was nice, and we all said our goodbyes as I left the school grounds to head back home, ecstatic for the meeting that was coming up in two days.
Only Celestia knew what kind of stuff would be in store for me then.
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
I decided against telling pip about the interaction I had with Gallus and Sandbar, reason being that I didn’t want to have to explain my bandaged arm. He always worries that I will go into a relapse of sorts and neither of us want that to happen. No, this time it was just me tripping while running to class, hitting some rocks on the ground as I tried to catch myself from falling. Why I wasn’t flying to class was anyone’s guess, but Pip didn’t seem too focused on that detail. We spent the next two days without any other major mishap, a few hangouts here and there, nothing out of the ordinary.
It felt nice when we hung out with each other, as if we were still friends. I’m fortunate to have been Pip’s friend for so long before we decided to start dating, since we still have each other’s favorite activities to work off of when figuring out what to do. We were more used to each other, and I suspect that is what keeps us from getting into fights like what I hear other ponies do when they are in a relationship. It is my understanding that a friend is the best pony you could date, not only for the fact that there is a base understanding of each other prior to dating, but also because even if the relationship isn’t fit for romance, then there is always that friendship to fall back on. Sure it would be awkward at first, but a friend is a friend, no matter what.
I digress. When the day of the meeting finally arrived, I told Pipsqueak that I was going back to the school to ask the teacher about something. He wanted to tag along, but I insisted it would be boring. Pip isn’t one for boring activities, so I knew that would suffice as enough of an excuse. I didn’t want him to come. It was my problem, and I needed to fix it. This wouldn’t end up like before, I knew when to call for help, I was getting better. It was only a matter of being comfortable in my own fur that I needed to conquer and for others to be comfortable with me, mainly Pip’s parents.
As I walked to the meeting area, a familiar area since it was in the back of the cafe that Pip and I went to two days before, I wondered what I would be in store for. Was it all an elaborate trap, set up by some bullies so they could torment me? Was it a set foalnapping scheme?
I opted to stop thinking about the possibilities after that last thought. I tended to scare myself out of situations that were otherwise normal, and I didn’t want to do that to myself then. I had a problem, and I needed to fix it.
There it was, the Daffodil lane. My mind flashed back to two days before when that one waiter nearly made me have a panic attack. I remembered his smile afterwards, as if he knew. A small shiver ran down my back from a combination of the chilly weather and the possibly sinister connotations that his smile could of had. Whoever started it must have asked to use it or rented it. All the same, it looked warm and inviting enough, it’s lights casting an amber glow through the window onto the twilit night. I guess I’ve never seen it open at this late at night or never really noticed that the lights were that color.
I went in through the door, a chime announcing my presence to the eight other ponies who were all gathered around two big round tables , snacks and drinks in hoof or on the table. With a quick glance, I was the youngest there. That only filled me up with even more fear, though before I could turn tail and run away I heard a familiar voice call out to me,
“Hey Featherweight! We saved you a seat.” Sandbar’s calm voice came from across the room, relieving my anxiety, if only slightly.
I smiled and nodded, sitting next to him and gallus. I took a moment to scan the room, having not really noticed who was here, only how many.
A light blue pegasus, with a rainbow tie on and an extremely anxious expression that could blow mine right out of the water.
A strangely familiar face, Trenderhoof. I had done some freelance work for some articles of his before. It never occured to me to think he was gay. He looked a lot more calm and poised about the whole meeting.
Braeburn, the pony who managed the whole cleanup of the stampede incident a while back. He was Applebloom’s cousin, if I remember correctly. One look at his getup made me less surprised that he was gay.
Sunburst, the royal chrystaller? I guess since he became the new vice headpony of the Friendship school, it would make sense that he spent more time in ponyville nowadays than in the Crystal Empire.
There was our waiter, Monte, and next to him some deep blue pony, a worn out expression on his face. He looked happy, but tired.
“Hello!” Monte exclaimed, “Welcome to the first meeting of the Coming Out Club,” myself and a couple other ponies squirmed at the name, “Name subject to change.”
“I’d like to thank you all for coming to our little passion project, and if you are enjoying the snacks, please make sure to thank my husband, Over Easy, for making them.” Monte presented the blue pony, who stood up and smiled, giving a small bow as we all said thank you.
“Now, let me just clear up some questions some of you might have about what this all is exactly. You see, we were thinking one day,”
“I was thinking,” Over Easy interrupted.
“Right, Over Was thinking one day about how much of a struggle it was for the two of us to come out to those who we love and cared for. It really was, more on that later. I can say, at least for me, that I felt absolutely alone in the whole matter. It was me against the world! And everypony was out to get me. Luckily, I had loving parents who still loved me and accepted me for who I was. But, it was that in-between, that limbo of discovering that I was gay and telling my parents that I felt helpless. It was our idea to start this get together, where we all help each other out to feel like we are not alone in this transitioning period in our lives.” Someone started clapping, then we all started. It was exactly what I needed. I had gotten more and more excited as he talked. He smiled and started talking again once the clapping died down, “Thank you, now I invited some other ponies who have already come out to help give some perspective on what they felt when they were going through what you are right now. But before that, I think there are a few things we need to take care of before we get to that.”
Monte sat down, getting a hoof around his shoulder and a nuzzle from his husband which he eagerly reciprocated.
“Now then! Let’s get started!”
Author's Note
Sorry for the wait on this chapter. School is still my first priority, but I always try to make time for writing. Let me know what you think about the story so far.
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
“First things first; Introductions!” Everypony looked around at the ponies who were closest to them. We all heard each one’s introductions, however long it took for them to get the nerve to do it. It was like an after school club, ponies giving their name and everypony else saying, “hi, ___.” It was surreal.
“Now that Introductions have been established, I would like to set up the rough itinerary for this meeting. I would like to ask one of our ponies who already came out to describe their experiences with how they went about doing so, and once they are finished, a pony who is still having difficulties with coming out to describe their situation.” Monte asked, gesturing to the ‘out’ ponies who were all conveniently sitting next to each other.
“I-I think I can go first, if none of you mind” Sunburst stood up, looking over to the others for confirmation to go. They nodded and Sunburst smiled, “Alright, thank you.”
“I’ll take you back five years ago. I had just moved out of my parents’ house. This was about a month or so after dropping out of the magic school. I was humiliated that I had to drop out and disappoint those who supported me in going. During my time at the magic school, I was able to explore what the ‘real world’ was like, and in my explorations I found a pony who had caught my interest. He was extremely studious, to the point where his whole daily schedule revolved around studying. I spent a good deal of my time trying to become friends with him in hopes that he could help me with my studies and keep from struggling all the time.”
“Things started out small, like saying hello to him whenever we were in the same class together, to casually waving at him while on campus. We eventually got to conversation level, albeit very brief conversation level. I realized as I furthered my efforts in becoming his friend that there was a sort of excitement in every engagement that I had with him. It pooled in my heart and pushed to get out of my chest every time I was near him. I thought I was having some kind of panic attack or a heart attack every time I got close to him. Near the end, I might have well been.”
“My efforts yielded little in the end, as he paid little attention to me and dismissed me whenever I would ask him about help with homework or whatever. I dropped out of magic school and a few weeks later, he got hospitalized for a manic episode in the library. I don’t recall the details of it, but all the same; I left him with a pit in my stomach, confused as to what it was or what it meant.”
“I had come back to Sire’s Hollow, defeated and horribly confused. It wasn’t just him, I had an entirely new perspective when looking at other stallions. I began to notice the way they did their hair, the way they walked, talked, their mannerisms of speech, I began analysing each stallion that I came in contact with. Some of them filled me with a similar tension in my chest, others didn’t. My parents didn’t notice at all, since mother was still trying to get me on some kind of track with a job and father was too ill to focus on anything else.”
“It wasn’t until I delved into researching relationships and sexuality that something clicked. I was initially looking for how to best approach a friendship, but one thing led to another and I found a description of homosexuality. I read it over and over again, making sure that I had the definition right in my mind, though I was more distracted with all my feelings finally falling into place. It was as if a veil had been lifted from my eyes, like the whole world was blurry up until now. I was gay. I had a definition, a reason for all the things that I was feeling;. I was so relieved.”
“Though getting back to the point, I was all settled in at my new house at the Crystal Empire. Mother called it my sabbatical, as if I had any intentions of coming back to Sire’s Hollow permanently. I invited Mother that sunday to the house to see how I settled in. Really, my intentions were different, but I had to put myself in a position where I was comfortable to tell her, otherwise I would have never been able to do something like that.”
“I offered up lunch at a nice restaurant downtown, but she insisted on having us take a walk in the park. It didn’t matter all that much to me where we went, but being in such an open place where people could hear was certainly a factor that I kept in my mind as we walked toward the park. She was fairly silent, though I didn’t need to ask why. Transitions in life are stressful and confusing for everypony.”
“We found a bench to sit at watch the activities of the crystal ponies. They all seemed so happy, though after being lost to time for so long, existing would be enough to make one happy at this point. None of them really paid any attention to us. Mother had made a comment about the paradoxical weather of sun and chill. I would have told her that it was because of the magical shield that was protecting the empire and the chilled ground that the weather outside the barrier was causing, but instead I told her that I was gay.”
“She...she just looked at me, perplexed, almost as if to ask why I would say something like that. It took her a few minutes to process, I guess, since she stayed quiet for a painfully long time. In my mind, I was telling myself that it was the right thing to do, rationalizing somehow that what I had just done was for the best.”
“Finally, she touched my shoulder. I looked over at her; she was smiling. She pulled me into a hug, and” Sunburst paused for a moment, taking a second to wipe his glasses. His cape was unusually close to his face when he did, though. I could hear his shaky breathing, before he cleared his throat and put his glasses back on, “and she said that she loved me. She didn’t say she still loved me or that she loved me even though I was gay. She just said she loved me. I’m not sure what she was thinking in those minutes before, but I don’t need to know. She loves me. Whether I’m gay, straight, or whatever, she loves me.” Sunburst chuckled as he craned his neck, “After that, she asked me if I had plans for a relationship or if I had plans to get a job and manage a relationship. She started to write out a whole map of what to do. I politely stopped her and we spent the rest of the day talking about other things.”
Sunburst smiled and bowed, taking a seat as the rest of the room burst in to applause again. I’ve got to say, there were some similarities between his situation and mine, except I’m not trying to come out to my parents. I’m trying to come out to Pip’s. It did give me an idea about how to come out to them. Somewhere comfortable. On my terms I thought, mentally noting down that idea.
“Thank you, Sunburst, for sharing our first story here. Now, before we move on to a pony who hasn’t come out yet, I’ll give everypony some time to grab more snacks and or use the bathroom or stretch your legs. We will meet back at the table in five minutes.” Monte said, walking over to Sunburst to pat him on the back.
I moved over to the snack table where Gallus and Sandbar were talking.
“What a coming out story, eh?” I asked, hoping to get their opinions and takeaways from the story.
“I’ll say. It certainly helped put into some perspective on how others realize that they are gay and how they react to it.” Gallus said, staring blankly for a second before looking over to Sandbar, who nodded.
“It did get me thinking on that, and about the idea of being in a place where you are comfortable with telling whoever you want to tell.” Sandbar chimed in.
“Who do you think is going to go next, you know, for the pony-”
“Or Griffon” Gallus interrupted
“Or griffon, who hasn’t come out yet?” I asked.
“I think I overheard Monte’s husband talking to that pegasus in the rainbow tie, what was his name, Flatterfly? Yeah, I think he’s going next. So it should be interesting.” Sandbar grabbed for a few more lemon poppyseed tarts before making his way back to the table.
“Yep, interesting!” I said as I followed back to my seat.
Author's Note
Keep in mind, these chapters are written at 12 or 3AM, so if you see any spelling error, don't hesitate to let me know. My caveman brain comes up with the best ideas, though the later it is in the night, the less my hands want to hit the right keys. Anyway, thanks for reading so far
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
Falling Flat of Expectations
He looked like the most nervous of us all. Practically shivering as all eyes looked at him. He was the weather director for Canterlot, if I remember correctly. He was already high strung in his introduction, Celestia knows how he will fare now.
He cleared his throat, probably hoping it would calm his nerves, “He-Hello, everypony-and griffon! And griffon,” He said, blurting out the second part.
Everypony said their hellos back to him.
“Well, h-here’s my situation. You see, I-I’m…” His voice caught in his throat. “I’m…” Once again, it flittered out before the rest of his sentence could come out. “I’m!...”
“Feather?” Monte lightly set a hoof on Feather’s shoulder, making him jump in surprise. “Sorry. There’s no need to be scared, no pony here is going to hurt you or judge you. We promise.”
Feather lightly nodded, his body still shaking. “I’m g-gay. I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m gay.” He said, repeatedly, his voice getting faster and higher pitched each time he said it. He finally stopped saying it, his breath trembling. “It’s been extremely hard to hear myself say that. It all feels so surreal, still. I can b-barely think it without freezing up, mainly because it feels wrong.”
Feather’s voice became less shaky and more rhythmic, probably with the adrenaline high coming down.
“I know, I know! It’s not ‘wrong’” He put his wings up in air quotes, “but it sure as sin doesn’t feel right. Ever since I was a foal, my parents wanted me to get a good job, marry a pretty mare, and give them grandfoals. All throughout my school and training to become a weather director, they would set me up with dates! M-Mare after mare, none I could even think of having an attraction to, because I was too busy with studying and I was too scared to ask a mare for a spare pencil, let alone k-k-keep a conversation on a date!”
“It wasn’t until after I graduated that the set-ups weaned off and my parents accepted that I would get a marefriend when I wanted to...Except, I didn’t have any attraction to mares. I tried, really, I did. I tried just talking with a few at work and it went alright, but it never went anywhere, because whatever sign they threw at me just bounced off like I was a wall. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong. It was like something was blocking me from seeing the opportunity.”
“A few years down the line, the cycle repeats itself. I try to get into some relationship with a mare and it fails within a month, either for me not being interested in them or me being too awkward for them. I was very disappointed in myself, because I felt like I was letting my parents down. They had been so supportive of me when I told them I wanted to become a weather coordinator. They put me through school, they paid for all of my expenses. I didn’t need to work at all during my school career. I was getting more and more concerned that I wouldn’t be able to fulfil their request.”
“One day, a new pony came in, an actuary I believe. He was really sweet when he came in. He would always wear these bottom rimmed glasses and a bow tie. He had a great selection of bow ties, because I did not once see him wearing one that wasn’t fitting of him. I was the head so he was supposed to report to me within the week. He did so immediately. I got him oriented in the office and talked with him a bit afterwards. H-He was extremely dedicated to the job and seemed passionate enough. For some reason, there was something about him that I enjoyed. I liked talking with him, I liked looking at him, I liked being with him. As the weeks went on, I realized I spent a lot more time with him than with any other pony.”
“It took a lot of time to realize that I had a sort of attraction to him. It felt weird, actually being attracted to somepony. Just being attracted to anyone was new, but for it to be a stallion, when I realized, it was soul crushing. I felt like I was getting a weight lifted off of my body only for a different, heavier weight to be thrown directly onto my chest. I didn’t know how to deal with it. On one hoof, I had found some-somepony that I actually like, on the other, it’s a stallion. I won’t be able to fulfil my parents dream. So, instead of disappointing them by not getting a marefriend and having foals, I would be disappointing them by being attracted to colts and not being able to have foals. It’s-It’s-It’s-It’s horrible! I-I-I am trying to be comfortable with it, but I can’t. Th-This tie feels like a noose!” Feather held up his tie, the rainbow pattern very clearly evident on it. “I don’t know how, but the pony, Silverwing’s his name by the way, he managed to convince me to start wearing this tie to help me make myself more comfortable with myself.”
“I just, I don’t think I have the will to tell them. I don’t want to see their dreams shattered right before my eyes because of something that I am. I couldn’t look at them after that. I would be the disappointment of the family. I-I…” His composure started to degrade, “I can’t…” His breath became quicker paced, his eyes, dilated. “I..” He collapsed.
Over Easy caught his head, before it hit the table, thankfully. If anyone knows about head trauma, it would be me and I know it certainly wouldn’t help what he was going through.
It took a few minutes before Feather came to, but when he did, it was like a bull in a china shop. He was muttering erratically. It took the two partners to finally calm him down after another five minutes. Something felt wrong in me while I watched, but it was hard not to.
Finally, after Feather was in a relatively stable condition, the pony in the leather vest, braeburn began to speak, “If I may comment on yer predicament there, Mr. Flatterfly. I see where y’all’re coming from, but ah think you might be overstressing what yer parents’ll think about you if you come out to them. At least to me, it sounds like yer parents care a mighty lot for ya. They might just wanna see you happy. Have you ever sat down with’m an’ asked about the possibility of you not getting a marefriend, not sayin that yer gay, per se, just that you are bachelor of sorts?” Braeburn asked the shaking pegasus.
“N-no. I don’t really speak with them all that much these days. I can’t bring myself to talk with them.” Feather exclaimed, looking down and shaking.
“Then, maybe you should. Just, ask. It might feel like the hardest thing to do, I recognize that, but with a question as vague as that, I’m sure y’all can get an answer that’ll communicate how they really feel. They really sound like they love you, and I would bet my bottom bit that no matter who you are and what you do, they will still care for you.”
Feather thought for a minute, thinking of all the possibilities, probably. I know that’s what I would do. Finally, he piped up. “I-I could at least try. T-thank you, Braeburn.” He gave a big, albeit weak, smile to the yellow pony.
Braeburn nodded and tipped his hat.
“Well, It’s nice to see results so quickly. I really wasn’t expecting this club to be this successful in such a short amount of time. It really warms my heart. How about we take a break though, so Braeburn can prepare for his story of coming out. It looks like we are running low on snacks, so give Easy and I a few minutes to whip up some more for you! We’ll be back in a jiffy!” Monte announced.
There was a lot to learn from that. Maybe my situation is similar, maybe I’m just blowing things out of proportion. Would I be able to allow myself to get as far as what Flatterfly is thinking of doing? I didn’t really have an answer at that point, but I really needed to use the restroom.
Author's Note
Still unedited, still drifting, still here, hope you enjoy
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
“Now!” Monte said loudly, catching everyone’s attention, “I believe we have Braeburn going next. Would you like to begin, Braeburn?” He asked.
“Ah believe ah am. Thank you kindly for invitin me to this group. Now then, a fair warning before ah get into it. This won’t be pretty.” Braeburn adjusted the side of his hat and sat up.
“Somethin’ you ought to know about me is that I’m an honest pony. I can’t keep a secret worth a hoot, and even if I could, I wouldn’t want to. Ah’ve always been open with my parents about whatever’s going on with me. It wasn’t all that long after I found out ah liked stallions that I told them. I told my Ma first, since she was the first I saw. She said that she was disappointed that I wouldn’t be giving her any grandfoals, kinda like how you were stressin there, Flatter, but she wasn’t havin any problems ‘bout my decisions. My Pa, on the other hoof, was a whole different breed a’ angry.”
“It got burned into my memories, night had just set in. It was in the colder season, so we had blankets draped all round the house and the fire lit in the hearth. Shadows danced along the edges of the room as we sat next to each other, Pa and I. We were just staring at the fire, til I opened up and told ‘em, ‘Pa, ah’m gay.’ There was a bit of silence, nothin ah didn’t expect since that’s what happened with Ma, ‘cept he looked tense. ‘No you ain’t’ He said after a minute or so.”
“That kinda threw me off guard, like yeah I am, ah like stallions. Ah told him such and he just said it again, ‘No. You. Ain’t’ like he was really tensed up, his voice raised and all. Ah asked him if he was feeling alright and he stood up real fast. ‘Ah don’t think it’s me not feeling alright. Y’all ain’t gay, so quit sayin you is. Ah don’ wanna hear none of it anymore from you tonight, y’hear?’ He started to leave, all in a hurry. Ah followed after him til he turned around, real anger in his eyes, nothing like Ah’d ever seen before. It was like a Cerberus was starin me dead in the eye. ‘Ain’t no son of mine gay. Now you get that STRAIGHT, I ain’t asking’ That hurt. No matter what ah’ve told them in the past, they’ve always been understanding and accepting. There wasn’t ever a hint of anger at what ah said to him before. Nothing like this, ‘But Pa, Ah am. Ah really am ga-’ I didn’t finish my sentence before Pa pushed me to the ground, dangerously close to the fire, but I couldn’t really feel it start to char my mane and hat. I was dealing with the fire that was standing above me, ready to push me further. ‘Now you get this right in your head, son. There ain’t no son of mine that’s gonna go ‘round callin himself gay. If you can’t get that through your wrecked pixie mind, then let me spell it out for you.’ He got closer to me. I couldn’t smell my fur burning or the felt on my hat start to singe, only thing I could focus on was my Pa. ‘If I ain’t got a straight son, then I don’t got a son at all.’ He huffed in my face and moved away, finally, going upstairs. I didn’t have enough time to process anything at that moment, cause my body was basically on fire. I moved away from the fire, my entire left side was singed and black matted, no major burns, but my mane and hat were worse for wear.”
Braeburn adjusted the side of his hat again, the movement sounding rough, as if his hoof was running along cracked and brittle material.
“That was when I really felt lost. I was essentially disowned, since Ma couldn’t stick up for me. Ah was falling, deeper and deeper into a hole, like the floor was pulled from underneath me. I wasn’t allowed back home ‘til I ‘got my mind right’ and I had no one to turn to. Now, you might be thinking, well that’s horrifying. I don’t want that to happen to me, I can’t live with something like that. That’s where I tell you you yer wrong.”
“After months of just wandering, trying to get work or food, ah finally stumbled into a bigger town than where I was from, Appleoosa. Everypony there was so friendly, ‘course I hadn’t told them I was gay. After I told Pa, I was hesitant to tell anyone. They took pity on me and set me up with a plot of land and a couple of growing apple trees. Ah knew what to do, Ah am an apple after all. A day or so after working on the plot, something occured to me. Ah was so devastated by my Pa disowning me, I didn’t know what to do. I realized that I could do anything Ah wanted. I was gonna become whatever I wanted. Ah was gonna be the most successful apple farmer in the south. Ah was gonna surpass my Pa, make him wish he had accepted me. Now, Ah’d like to think ah’ve done that, but that isn’t the point of my little story. The point bein, Ah realized that even without the approval of somepony that Ah loved and cared for, Ah still managed to keep on going. It hurt, yeah. It’ll hurt more than whatever you can expect, but you can recover. You can get back on your feet and march on forward, make the best out of your life according to you. Don’t mistake my advice into meanin you can go at it alone. Ah didn’t. Ah had Appleloosa to thank for showin me a better path, and ah owe my life to that town for it. So if you have a pony who will help ya, take the help.” Braeburn let out a sigh. “Ah don’t know what else to say but that. It may feel like the end of the world, but it ain’t, so long as you can get back up and keep moving forward.”
Gallus, out of everyone, clapped first. The rest of the room followed, prompting Braeburn to take off his hat and bow his head.
That story, I didn’t know what to think of it. I couldn’t fathom any other outcome from Pip’s parents rejecting us and disowning him except giving up entirely. Braeburn was living proof that there was another way out. Another way to go about it. It would still hurt, no matter what. I was afraid of that, but it was comforting to know that there are other options.
“Uh, I think we’d like to go next.” Sandbar said, much to Gallus’ obvious objection of trying to cover Sandbar’s mouth and keep him from saying that.
“Lovely, let’s all take five minutes to get ready.” Monte said, keeping that cheery smile on, as if it didn’t have an off switch.
I chuckled as I saw Gallus talking with Sandbar about how bad of an idea it was for them to do that, but in the commotion of the two, I could have sworn I saw something glistening in his eye. Was he crying?
Author's Note
Doing my part to keep the fire alive.
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
Sunset on the Sandy Shore
Author's Note
Finished at 1:22AM. You know this is gonna be good. -Maxwell Edison
Sunset on the Sandy Shore
The pleasantries were skipped at this point, everypony know what we were here for, so no use in wasting breath. Gallus still looked peeved with Sandbar, who was slightly smiling as he stood next to him.
“Hello, everypony. I-I’m gallus.” Gallus said, shaking a bit as he did so.
“They already know that, Galley,” Sandbar added, resting his hoof around the Griffon’s neck, probably to calm him down.
Gallus cringed when he heard his nickname called out in front of others. He had mentioned before that he was still getting used to it alone.
“Right, well. As you all also know, I’m a griffon. In griffonstone, there isn’t all that much time for love. We live in the mountains. There isn’t any real standout stuff there. It’s all rock and thatch. We try to survive and pinch a penny when we can, but other than that most every griffon sticks to themselves. The only reason I can think of that there’s even procreation is that the government, flimsy as it is, gives a stipend to couples who decide to have a kid. Being a parent changes some of the griffons. They get more compassionate with their partners and kid, but most of the time it only extends out to there. My parents, on the other claw, decided to break the mold and immediately split as soon as I was able to do things for myself. We all went our separate ways, me wandering around the streets of griffonstone looking for my next meal. Skip a couple of years and here I am, in Equestria, starting a new life at the friendship school, actually opening up and making friends like Sandbar. “
“It wasn’t until after hearth’s warming eve that I started realizing my feelings for Sandbar. There was always something about him that struck me differently whenever I thought about him. It was like there was something more to him that I had to figure out. It’s hard to describe, even now, knowing what that feeling was. I started to notice everything about him, like the way he played his mane when he got nervous, or the way he would talk with ponies, every part of him in the conversation from his hooves to his head, always moving, or the way he would help out ponies so willingly, without any hesitation. It was weird, cause I kept asking myself why I was so fixated with him and only him.”
“You just couldn’t keep your eyes off me, I remember~,” Sandbar teased before getting an earful.
“Shut it!” Gallus squaked at his coltfriend. “Anyway.” He returned back to looking at the group. “Time passed and I kept on thinking about him, like there was something wrong, like I was overlooking something about him that was wrong. I looked back to my friendship lessons for some kind of direction to the right answer, but all that came up was a lesson taught by Princess Cadence about how to recognize when a friendship could become something more. I was confused when reading it, so I read it again. I had to check my notes, re-check them, ask Ocellus if we had the same notes, we did, and finally after reading them for the twenty-fourth time, it all hit. It was like a fog had been lifted. It wasn’t anything about him that I was missing, it was something in myself that I was missing.” Gallus smirked and looked over to Sandbar, “I read the notes about four more times just to confirm, and it all made my heart swell with a foreign feeling. It was love that I was feeling. I hadn’t felt anything like for so long, I got overwhelmed. I just laid there in my bed, wanting the feeling to never end. I realized that I loved him, and was happy, but I felt like there was more there, like I could get more out of it. Then it occured to me that there needs to be two for there to be a relationship.” Gallus stopped, looking around at the room filled with incredulous faces, “Now, I know what you’re thinking. Well, duh. Like I said before, there wasn’t exactly anyone around to tell me about this stuff.”
“So, I did some research about relationships, first in Equestria, then in Griffonstone. Equestria was fine, relatively. There were a few accounts of hate crimes within the past 10 years, but I’d consider that a walk in the park compared to what I found about Griffonstone.” Gallus grew a harsh scowl on his face, as if he were looking at Griffonstone right then, “Re-education. Sub-creature status. Registration. It was a death sentence to be gay in Griffonstone. If you didn’t get re-educated, you would be considered an untouchable that had to go on record as such. The few that had spoken out about that, who tried to cause some form of change, got crushed by the ambivalence of the general populace. If it didn’t get them a bit, it didn’t concern them. That's what I would go home to some day. Then came the debacle of whether to tell Sandbar one, that I had feelings for him, and two, about the status of homosexuals back in my home country. If I had to go back, I wouldn’t have been able to. I couldn’t leave without Sandbar in my life, and I certainly couldn’t bring him to the slaughter house. I was confused with what I needed, or even could do at that point.”
Sandbar hugged Gallus tighter, there must be something important coming up, then. It looked like he needed the support. He was practically writhing in the spotlight.
“He knew, of course. Not that I loved him, not yet. He knew that something was wrong with me those next couple of days after I found out about Griffonstone. I was anxious, second guessing myself at every step, my grades suffered, and my temper was something left to be desired. So he did something I never would have thought of. That weekend, he got a couple of train tickets and invited everyone to the beach. Conveniently, almost too conveniently, everycreature but me cancelled at the last minute. He looked really sad, so I couldn’t have flaked too. We went to the beach and had a blast. Sandy looked like he was in his second element when at the beach. He had so much that he wanted to do, and I had only thought you go to the beach for the water. We spent the whole day there; time passed by like nobody’s business, and soon enough it was sunset. Time to go back home. Before then, we sat on the sand, staring at the sunset. It was like one of those sappy love novel scenes. Sandy, do you wanna explain this part?” Gallus asked, looking over to his still smiling coltfriend.
“Yeah, I think I can do that.” Sandbar cleared his throat, “So backing up a few hours before this, yes. I deliberately set up Gallus to go the beach with me alone, cause I knew there was something wrong. All of our friends knew there was something wrong. I just needed to figure out what. So I took him to the beach. I love the beach. It’s where I got my cutie mark, it’s where I go when I’m stressed or worried about something. That’s what I told Gallus when he asked why I chose the beach. I told him that he was worrying everyone and that I thought bringing him here would help him loosen up and tell us what was going on. I didn’t expect him to go from a smile on his face to full on crying.”
“Hey! I wasn’t going to add that part, Sandbar!” Gallus tried to whisper through gritted teeth.
“Well it’s true, you switched moods so quickly, I think you almost had Pinkie Pie beat. It caught me so off guard.”
Gallus sighed, “Alright. Fine. I did start crying. But it wasn’t like I was expecting to, either. It just sorta snuck up on me.”
“No kidding, you told me everything, about how you were gay, how they treat homosexuals in Griffonstone, how afraid you were, and finally, how much you loved me.” Sandbar’s smile grew even more after saying that. I think he was remembering it vividly.
“I didn’t mean to blurt that part out. It wasn’t planned at all. Everything just started coming out, and I guess, so did I” A couple of small chuckles came from the audience before he resumed, “But I felt so relieved, not even hearing what you had to say about it, after I let it all out. It was an even bigger relief when you said you liked me, too. Then it was just silence. I don’t think you had anything more to say, and after I said everything, there wasn’t much left that needed to be said. Just two creatures watching the sunset.”
Sandbar moved his mane out of his hair and quickly pecked Gallus on the lips, causing Gallus to immediately tense up, but relax and smile at Sandbar. “So that’s where we’re at right now. I have no idea what I’m going to do once I have to go back to Griffonstone and we’re still trying to find a way to come out to our friends.”
There was a moment of dead air before Sunburst spoke up, “That’s a very touching story. Had you spoken to any of us, er, well Starlight and Twilight at the time, we would have been happy to help you work out this problem. We still are. I’m not sure what exactly we can do about it, since it is international law and boundaries that we are going to be going through, but I’m sure if we go over it, we can work something out.”
Gallus gave out a long sigh, “You have no idea how much relief I felt after hearing that. We’ll come into your office first thing tomorrow.”
It seemed that everypony was getting help, quite quickly as well. The more and more I listened to the stories, the solution to my problem became more tangible. After Gallus and Sandbar, there was Trenderhoof, and then me. What was I going to say? I hadn’t even really thought about how I was going to tell my story, and there was only so much time left before I had to talk. What more of trenderhoof could I learn that I didn’t know already? I was going to take the time that he spent talking about his coming out story to organize my thoughts. It was all starting to come together now, I could almost see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Coming To Terms With Coming Out
This was it. My time to present my problem to everypony. I didn’t really know how to phrase it, considering most of it was still uncomfortable to think about. I didn’t quite know what to leave out or what to keep in. I was in a bit of omitter’s limbo. Of course, you all know my story, so I won’t go on about it again and waste any more time than I already have. As the night progressed, things started getting put into a better perspective for me. When I had originally come in, I was so confused, I was only going there because I was grasping at straws in hopes to find a solution for what seemed like such a monolithic problem. I left with an understanding, albeit an abridged one, of the outcomes of coming out.
Fear, nerves, anxiety, worry, confusion. These were all normal things felt during the process, and while no creature said that it was going to be easy to do, the one thing that I focused on was that, everyone was still there, living, breathing, being happy afterward. That meant to me that, no matter the outcome, life didn’t end. It wasn’t some kind of life or death situation. Of course, it hurt those who weren’t accepted, but they found ways to pick themselves up and move forward.
I left the meeting with a new aura of confidence, something that I didn’t have anything close to when going in. I muttered all the way home that I was gay. I didn’t go above a whisper, but it was one heck of an improvement. That night, I could barely sleep. It was already past 2 AM when I finally got home. Pip’s parents were worried sick about where I was. Apparently, Pip had forgotten to let them know of where I was.
Have I ever expressed how weird of a feeling it was to have somepony waiting for you to come home. Some of you might be rolling your eyes, like “No, of course not. Why would I?” And to that I say, exactly. Normally, no one would think about a family member waiting for them to come home from school or work or whatever, but as someone who hasn’t always had something like that, it is still surreal, like there’s a pony out there that cares for you that much to the point where they are willing to stay up into ungodly hours, just to make sure you came home safely. Not only that, but just their level of concern. I got an earful when I arrived back, since I hadn’t told them where I was. It was only until I was able to talk did they fully understand. They yelled at me cause they were concerned. I learned my lesson and went to bed, or at least tried.
In the morning, I discussed a plan with Pipsqueak. He was incredulous to see such a 180 from me, since the night before, I hadn’t even thought of telling his parents. We had decided on a plan, that evening, dinner, we would tell them then. I felt that if I had a plan, I would be less likely to flake out and lose my confidence. For the rest of the day it felt like I was floating, even when I wasn’t flying. The whole world felt surreal to me, like everything was alive. I found it hard to concentrate that day, but finally the brisk dusk was upon us. I cleaned up and got ready for dinner. We were going to have stuffed peppers, my favorite.
Pip and I sat next to each other, as always, sitting in silence,constantly glancing back and forward to one another, waiting for the other to give the signal to tell them. Finally, it was Pip’s mother who had broken the silence,
“Well, dears, are you havin a little staring game? Who’s winning? Pip was always so good at the little staring games, would always beat his pa and I. You’ve got your work cut out for you, Feather, dear.”
“Actually, Mu-”
“I remember those, yes Pip would always be able to stare the longest, and I, to this day, haven’t the faintest idea as to how he was able to do it. You’ve got some special eyes, there, son.”
“Da-”
“Doesn’t he? He outta become a wee little biologist. They have to put their eyes underneath a microscope all the live-long day, and Celestia knows how tiring that must be on the eyes. Oh, you’d be a lovely little biologist in a fancy lab coat!” Pip’s mom let out a shrill giggle.
“Mum, I-”
“Is that what you want, son? To become a biologist? I hear they make good money and are in high dem-”
“MOM! DAD!” Pip Yelled, immediately getting both of their attention. “Featherweight and I have something we would like to say, if you don’t mind!” he said, already exacerbated by the bickering of his parents that he knew too well.
“Oh, well why didn’t you say so dear?” Pip’s mom said, which unearthed a twitch of the eye from Pip.
“Mom, Dad?” He looked at his parents, then looked at me.
“We’re gay.” I said as flatly as possible as I held my hoof in his. “And we are coltfriends”
There was a clattering of silverware, from hoof to table to ground. Both his parents looked at us, shocked, eyes bouncing between us and our conjoined hooves. We tried to make it as obvious as possible that we weren’t lying or pranking them.
One minute went by in silence, we still held strong. Two minutes went by; we started to become unsure of ourselves. Three, four five minutes went by; we held each other’s hoof in support of the other, preparing for the absolute worst.
Finally, Pip’s dad let out a long sigh. “Well.” He said, then fell back into silence.
Pip’s mom put a hoof to her mouth, suppressing a sob. That was what got Pip to let go of my hoof. “Mom?” He asked, looking concerned even more.
“I’m so...happy.” She said as he let out another sob.
Pip pulled back a bit, “What?”
“I’m so happy that my little boy is growing up and finding love. And I’m so glad that it was with you, Featherweight.” She looked at us, tears in her eyes, then moved in, hugging us both.
This was one of those surreal moments, where I hadn’t felt this type of love before from anyone. It was like I was being accepted, truly accepted for who I was. I sat there for a moment in shock, but then hugged her and Pipsqueak back. I felt misty eyed, and soon enough began to cry. Pipsqueak felt the same, because I could hear him lightly sobbing as well. I was so happy to be accepted, and to be wanted in somepony else’s life.
Pipsqueak’s father came into the hug as well, adding that he was happy if Pip was happy and that he accepted us both. It was like all the weight was finally lifted. I could finally breathe properly. I would still need to get comfortable with showing public affection towards Pip, but I felt that now, we had time to work on it. There was time to plan a future, to see what was past the end of the tunnel. I felt happy, I felt safe, I felt like I belonged, like I had a family. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………
Featherweight wiped a tear from his face, feeling an embrace beside him. They sat together, staring at an old knotted oak tree. Etched in the tree’s bark was a fresh pair of symbols next to a weathered old pair.
“F+P”
“F+B”
“I hope you guys are happy. I hope that I have been able to make you guys happy. We haven’t had that good of a life, heck, this tree has been the only record that you two were ever here. I’d just like to think that I have been able to make you two happy through it all, good and bad, even past death.” Featherweight pressed his head onto the bark, right underneath the etched symbols. “I got a coltfriend, Mom. He’s a good colt, Dad. I love him. I really do. I know you guys didn’t get to meet him, but trust me. He’s a really lovely colt.”
Featherweight cried. He cried in a mix of immense joy and crippling sadness. Pipsqueak did his best to console him, but Feather had warned that this was going to happen when he came here. The only thing he could do was to be there to support Featherweight. The weeks after them coming out were shaky, with Featherweight getting used to affection in public, but they persevered together. Their dates became more frequent, until they were regulars at the Daffodil lane. They were a couple, but more importantly, they were still friends. Featherweight introduced Pipsqueak to Sandbar and Gallus, knowing they would become great friends. Then, a month after they came out, Featherweight wanted Pipsqueak to come meet his parents. He wanted his support to come out to them like Pip wanted Feather to come out to his parents. Pipsqueak agreed. It was weird coming to a tree in the middle of the Apple family orchard, but he didn’t question it. It was only until Featherweight started talking to the tree that Pipsqueak didn’t have any problem. It was hard when Featherweight started, but Pip stayed resolute. He was here for Featherweight.
The chill of autumn, on the brink of winter, creeped up on the two, letting them know it was time to go. Featherweight wanted to stay for a few more minutes, but the setting sun said otherwise. Featherweight sniffled and sobbed on Pipsqueak’s shoulder all the way home. They cuddled up next to one another as they made their way back, getting ready for the next day of their lives.
Author's Note
All done. I hope I was able to make a nice story. I'm planning on making more. Just gotta figure out what to make at 3 AM. We'll see. Stay tuned! :)