Too Many Twilight Twats

by Nebbie

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Fetish, Comedy, Rarity, Porn, Sex, Maud Pie, Slice of Life, Death
Length: 5340

Twilight invites Rarity to the mirror pool to show her a lewd activity she's come up with, and show her just how freaky it can get.

Twilight has been pent-up for years, never able to find a pony she liked, that could keep up with her intellectually and really get her, but now, after finding a spell that can rapidly copy memories, she's found a solution with the mirror pool. After some test runs, it's time to show Rarity this method of risqué relaxation.

Inspired of course by Castle Clean Up, and written for the Incest is Wincest Self-cest September contest.

Published 2019-10-01 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-01 03:50:01 UTC

Prolog: A short walk

Twilight walked along at the edge of the Everfree with heavy saddlebags and with Rarity not far behind, levitating aside some bushes that blocked the path.

"So what exactly kind of...erotic activity do you do that requires coming out here, Twilight?" the fashionista asked.

"Something that can only be done out here...you'll see," Twilight replied.

Truthfully, she was sure that Starlight could help her concoct a cloning spell, but this was easier to figure out, and she'd rather not Starlight know...Trixie would probably find out one way or another and come to make naughty videos.

"Right, well, I sure hope it's worth it, this forest is always terrible on my makeup," Rarity remarked as they crossed a small stream.

"Oh, definitely! This is way better than your spa idea. Just come right into this cave...and don't worry, it's near Maud's place," Twilight said, trying to be reassuring as they went into a round opening of the gem-filled cavern.

"I'll take your word for it, darling, but regardless, I won't be...participating the first time," Rarity said as she tried to avoid disturbing some bats.

That struck Twilight as rather odd. Rarity had said she was fine with a time with mares, provided it was kept confidential...

"Saving yourself for Spike?" Twilight asked with a smirk.

"WHAT? Heavens no...um...well actually...look, I'm not sure yet, I just want to know what my options are, dear," Rarity said with all the elegance of a ballerina dancer who just stepped on a lego and tripped into a dumpster full of bees.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry...just tell me by next month whether you'll want to join, okay?" Twilight asked diplomatically as they came to a larger part of the cave.

"Of course, dear. Perhaps...I'll bring Spike too, if everything works out. I think, though, his heart belongs to another..." Rarity trailed off.

Twilight considered a moment what it'd be like to bang her number one assistant...probably quite awkward, even if technically legal as long as she was very careful with Equestrian consent law.

"Hmm, probably best you don't. While he's old enough to consent to a stranger, I'm kind of like his surrogate mom and..." Twilight said uncertainly.

"Oh! Right, right, darling, I wouldn't want to make it seem like you were abusing your authority over him!" Rarity said hurriedly as they rounded a corner.

"I'm sure eventually we can let him join, but you'll have to make sure to mention me last, after being quite sure he's down with it...and I might need to get approval ahead of time from Cadance, as awkward as that conversation's gonna be. 'Oh high sister-in-law, I want to ride my adopted son's cock with a friend! Oh hey Shining Armor, didn't notice you there, you think Spike likes me? I'll be careful he doesn't think he has to or anything! Hehe...'" she stopped, noticing Rarity's stare.

"Maybe if we do go that route, I should do the talking...now, are we there yet? We're at a dead end," Rarity replied.

"Oh, yeah, right in there!" Twilight said as she trotted into the chamber.

"Twilight...what is that pool? It looks...unnatural," Rarity asked.

"That...is the Mirror Pool. It's what we're here for," said Twilight bluntly.

"B-but the Pinkie Clones! And Maud! I'd be terribly upset with myself if a dozen of me overran her like savages screaming about gems!" Rarity said, nearly fainting with a hoof over hear forehead.

"Relax, Rarity, it'll be under control. I did a test run and I've come quite prepared!" Twilight said as she set down her saddlebags and got out a small journal labelled "Useful spells in case of clones". Twilight concentrated for a bit as she cast a protective spell listed in the journal. It put a soundproof barrier over the entrance to the Mirror Pool area, and added a slight glow to her mane.

"Darling, what exactly is that for?" asked Rarity.

"The barrier will make sure none of the clones escape, and the glow is so you can tell which one is me, it won't be on any copies, they'll get a number instead," replied Twilight.

"Oh, quite smart!" Rarity exclaimed.

"Mm-hmm, now, here goes nothing..." Twilight said as she trotted close to the water's edge, and concentrated to remember the incantation. She felt a little nervous and suddenly sick to her stomach. She knew it was just nerves, of course, but worried she hadn't sufficiently prepared. The first time with the clones, it had all gone smoothly until one grabbed her machete and decided it should be the only Twilight with a head attached... Twilight knew now that it was best not to mimic Daring Do, even as much as Dash insisted to, but was she really ready? Here she was, staring into the water like a scared filly, complete with having foalishly not let out gas on the walk over; she couldn't now with Rarity's attention focused on her. Finally, she took a deep breath and committed to things.

"And into her own reflection she stared, yearning for one whose reflection she shared, and solemnly sweared not to be scared at the prospect of being double mared!" Twilight said as she trotted confidently to the pool.

A clone trotted out, reciting the same incantation as the two met.

"My, it's uncanny! If it weren't for the glow and the number, I could easily mix you two up..." said Rarity as she stared bug-eyed.

"Indeed, now I just need to make three more. Don't go anywhere, second me!" Twilight said with a giggle.

"Uh, well...books!" replied the clone as she went over to the saddlebag, immediately popping open a copy of "Trains and You".

"Well I'm sure it'd only fool me for a little bit..." Rarity said dismissively.

Twilight chuckled quietly as she got to work making another three clones, each of which ended up with a different book.

"So, what exactly are you going to do with them, Twilight? I don't think they know how to pleasure a mare, if it's even ethical to...take advantage of such low-intellect creatures," Rarity said as a Twilight clone drooled over an illustration of fungus.

"Patience, Rarity..." Twilight replied as she slipped magic dampeners on each clone's horn, then casted a few precautionary spells. "And now, we need a stallion..." she said as she zapped the second clone made, who shuddered as she became a he, only to say 'books' in a deeper voice.

"Oh my word, Twilight! He's dashing!" Rarity said as she lusted at the male Twilight clone.

"If you say so, but a good stallion has intelligence...the final touch is to give them most of my memories, just about everything but some of the information on clones themselves, just in case they escape, and to make them quite horny and suggestible!" Twilight said as she concentrated, releasing a spell that made a sort of wave of symbols emanate from her head to the clones'. A moment later, they all looked to her with lust and understanding.

Rarity gasped.

"Twilight, are you sure you can handle 4 of you? You're a very intelligent mare!" the Fashionista warned.

"Trust me, I've got it all under control!" Twilight replied confidently.

The Main Event

Twilight laid onto her back as four clones, three lusty mares and a horny stallion, looked on. She got comfy and looked to Rarity.

"Well, now the real party begins," she said with a smirk.

Rarity bit her lip a bit, seeming to want to join, but stayed still.

"You all know what I like, do as you will!" Twilight exclaimed as she closed her eyes and breathed deeply, her heart pounding loud from the anticipation.

"That I do!" Clone One said.

Twilight felt hot breath at her privates, and the sound of a bit of sniffing, making her shudder. Suddenly, then, she felt another clone nibbling the tip of her horn! It sparked ever so slightly.

The sound of slurping nearby told her that the other two clones were doing something with each other...perhaps lubing up for her. The idea, and not knowing what exactly was being licked, made Twilight shake a bit as her mind went wild. She could feel her pussy winking a bit as her marehood heated up and moistened. The only warning of imminent action she got was a sudden slap to her ass.

"Mmnnn!" was all Twilight could say before a wet tongue shot between her folds and made her whole body tense up. She was about to moan louder, but Clone Two's lips met hers, and began to press and smooch upon them.

"Well, they are...q-quite eager..." commented Rarity, sounding rather envious and lusty.

"Mmm" was all Twilight could get out before a slight break in the kiss and pussy licking. "It's the want-orgasm-need-orgasm spell...they're hornier than I've ever bee-aaaah!" she was interrupted by a particularly-aggressive lapping of her clit.

It had barely been a minute and she was already a shuddering mess...but then the male clone trotted over.

"This one's mine!" he said as he slapped her ass hard with a hoof and forcefully rolled her onto her belly, while the clones kissing the front and rear lips tried their best to maintain continuous contact. The roughness of it made her squeak slightly.

Twilight finally began reciprocating the kiss with Clone Two in preparation for what she knew was coming. She could feel her asscheeks spread by his hooves. She only had a moment more to savor the gentle lesbian affection when she felt him spit onto her pucker and ram his partially-lubed cock inside.

"Mmmghh!" Twilight said into Clone Two's mouth as the intruding organ stretched her shitter more than ever before. Her body trembled in a mix of lust and pain as the clones on each end slowly comforted her with their rhythmic licks inside her two sets of lips. Rarity exhaled in a shudder, and peeked slightly to see the fashionista barely not clopping.

"M-my, Twilight, this is all so...intense!" Rarity said as some drips to the ground could be seen between her legs.

Twilight would've chuckled, but in her current state, she could barely move as a cock steadily pounded further in her rear with each thrust and Clone One nibbled her clit. She was already sweaty, and her climax was building as her marehood felt intensely hot. Her wings even were fluttering a bit, unable to stay still.

Suddenly, the kiss on her front was broken, as Clone Two repositioned. Twilight looked up to see a butt coming down...and then she felt her horn slide right into a moist pussy as the butt rested on her snout. The feeling of the walls clamping around her magic rod combined with the attention on her clit and the spearing of her ass made her scream out in ecstasy. Her body began to shudder, and her vision of the purple plot in front of her lost focus. All it took was one more hard thrusting up her butt, and she went over the edge.

Twilight's whole body began to shake and her hooves gave out first as her mind went practically blank. All she could focus on were the feelings of her horn haphazardly shooting magic, her rear holes convulsing, and the wet and warm organs invading them. Her vocalizations were as erratic as the flapping of her wings as the pleasure washed over her. She took a few moments to even notice that Clone Two above her was also in the throes of ecstasy; their moans together filled the bubble, overshadowing the various slurps and squelches.

As her orgasm began to wind down and she stared into the convulsing rear hole of Clone Two, she noticed the feeling of fluids on her rear legs in between thrusts from the stud in her ass. She could hear and feel the frantic licking by Clone One, who was obviously somewhat thirsty for salty mare juices. Clone Two was a bit behind, currently leaking down onto Twilight's face while screaming, apparently muffled from kissing the male clone. Twilight obliged her by tasting it a bit and giving a lick to the clone's pucker.

"Oh heavens, Twilight, that looked amazing!" chided Rarity.

Twilight was about to respond when the rear in front of her snout sputtered, and a bit of magic leaked out to float towards the pool.

"Eugh, well, I suppose her orgasm was so intense she just lost control!" Rarity said with a look of disgust, but understanding.

Twilight, however, knew better, and retracted her tongue. The clone broke the kiss with her male counterpart and shuddered before trying to explain.

"Oh, whoops, I didn't think the pool would copy tha-" Clone Two tried to say after panting a bit, but was interrupted by a burp. Her whole body inflated to the extreme, sputtering magic out from her rear again as Twilight giggled.

The clone cried out again in ecstasy as her body burst into magic that returned to the portal, giving Twilight quite the tingly sensation on her horn, which was now slick from the clone's juices. Rarity loudly gasped as the stallion momentarily slowed his thrusts, both seeming stunned by the clone's inevitable demise. Interestingly, Clone One simply lapped at her clit more, making her shudder slightly. Extra slurping noises and a slight moan from the male clone told her that Clone Three was meanwhile giving the male clone a good rimming.

"Well I...suppose that you must get rid of them, but must it be disgusting?" asked Rarity.

"Afraid so, it builds up inside them when they orgasm, unlike the more direct spell I used before. Just one little spark with a horn 'lights the fire', so to speak. Now would you kindly keep rutting me, sir?" Twilight asked lustily.

"Heck yeah! Just glad I get to cum in this tight ass before I die!" he replied as he slowly began to pound her once again.

The extra slurping noises stopped and a loud belch could be heard, apparently from Clone Three as Rarity looked sick.

"I'd rather not die at all, really, but glad she's gone so I can upgrade from this gassy ass to some faces and do what I was made for!" Clone Three said proudly as she slapped his ass and strutted over to Twilight's front.

Twilight smirked at the obedient clone, who smirked back before sitting much like the first had, but with her puss to Twilight's snout, seeming to want to avoid any sparking. Twilight knew she'd need to be crafty as she began to lick, synchronizing her movements with the in and out of the male clone in her rear, who began to sloppily kiss Clone Three.

"Well, it's impressive how much they want you!" remarked Rarity, followed with a little sigh that told Twilight she was likely feeling unwanted by stallions lately.

Twilight tried not to think too hard on the matter, and simply focused on the feeling of the male clone hilting inside her. Clone One had apparently stopped her licking, and Twilight felt a hoof begin to rub at her pussy instead before hearing slurps again at the male clone's rear; she had known going in that stimulation of his prostate would be essential, and so too did the clones.

"Indeed..." was all Twi said before nibbling the clit of Clone Three while letting her pleasure slowly build again. The clone turned out to be just as easy as the last, screaming and shaking as she already went over the edge. Twilight chuckled a little, but neglected to insert her horn yet, preferring instead to lap up the fluids squirting out onto her tongue as the male's thrusting became a bit more erratic, likely from the passionate kiss with an orgasming mare.

As Clone Three panted and came down from her high, the male clone began a strategy of pulling out entirely, and letting her plothole recover slightly before ramming right back in. Twilight gasped with each of several such thrusts, feeling helpless to her ass being drilled and not bothering to say anything each time her rear sputtered out air that he had forced in on a previous thrusting. Even so, she blushed knowing Rarity was watching, listening, and would certainly have much to say after it was over.

"This is so dirty! I...I love it!" Rarity remarked with a lusty voice, making Twilight blush even harder.

She felt hot, sweaty, utterly soaked in filth, and ultimately nowhere near a state of being clean. The books and nobility had always talked to her about sex like it was nothing but a romantic event of joining souls, but Twilight had since learned the truth of the matter, and now was utterly wallowing in evidence of it. As well, Clone Three seemed to be headed for another orgasm already as she felt her tongue squeezed by the pussy. She could barely reflect much further on it, though, as her climax started to approach with a familiar heat in her crotch: the result of the hard thrusts, her own lust, and a certain hoof being moved in ways only she would know were needed. The first clone was always the best...

In unison, Twilight, Clone Three, and the male clone's bodies began to shiver. Rarity's jaw dropped as the volume of moans and screams reached their highest yet, beating anything prior. Twilight's mind was a haze yet again, and she barely had the presence of mind above the feeling of her release to jam her horn into the convulsing anus in front of her. Clone Three's cry of pleasure and fear was as if she'd sat on a glacier. She felt so naughty; she'd always been told to never put her horn up another's butt by her mother, as it was the ultimate form of dangerous disrespect. As she panted and thought about this, her horn went wild inside Clone Three, and a slight queefing and burping told her that the clone was done for.

Rarity was on the floor looking at her as the clone popped like a balloon with one last moan, and Twilight smirked in between heavy breaths. She could feel the stallion clone's seed entering her as he suddenly cried out much like Clone Three had.

"Agh! M-my butt! Not fair! I wanted to go for round two!" he said as he pulled out suddenly and rolled Twilight to face belly up.

She hadn't expected it, and so the pressure in her bowels led to her rear forcing out a spurt of cum and forced-in air.

Rarity blushed heavily, staring towards Twilight's rear, apparently delighted by the fluid release going on.

She was just coming down from her orgasm, barely able to process what she felt, let alone realize what was going on. He kissed her roughly, tongue licking around inside her a bit before he burped, inflating her cheeks. Twilight was confused, but tried to kiss back as he inflated. A wet squelch followed by a loud sputter alerted her to Clone One, who she could see grinning evilly behind him. Had she...? She'd set him off to explode! She didn't think the clones could do that through the dampener. His eyes conveyed a mix of bliss and fear as she felt him shudder in continued orgasm heftily, and and a moment later, with magic coming out his ends, pop and he was gone! Her tongue tingled slightly from the magic.

Twilight took a moment to belch out what he'd put in her mouth, again blushing heavily as her eyes met Rarity's.

"What a ruffian! I would ne-...I would... Oh, who am I kidding, Twilight, I've basically wet myself over here watching just from lust; that was like a million of my erotic novels and more! But what shall we do with the last clone?" Rarity asked with a blush as she stood up.

Twilight took a few deep breaths to try to recover from the intensity of it all, and looked to a smirking Clone One. She was surprised that a spark of magic could be delivered despite the horn dampener, but she was an alicorn, and so were the clones. She grinned back to the clone before levitating her over a bit to Rarity.

"Only one thing to do..." she said with a smirk as she spun the clone around and slapped her ass. "Want to do the honors? Any little spark..."

The clone gulped as Rarity smiled and stuck her horn directly up her plothole. The clone shivered and grunted a bit in response, looking fearful. Twilight licked her lips at the sight of an obedient one being dominated. Once Rarity pulled her horn out, Twilight forced the clone into a 69, and the two began lapping at each other's twats.

"Oh, right, she needs to climax! " said Rarity.

Twilight rolled her eyes a bit and delved deep into the clone's folds. The clone did much the same, and the two began a fight to be the better licker. Twilight tried a good swirling pattern, and a few clit kisses. In turn, she got the same, but with a smack to the ass synchronized perfectly with the kiss! She tried then something the clone couldn't do: cast a virtual dildo into the butthole! The clone moaned, and Twilight thought she had won before she felt the same done to her, but with vibration! The tingling in her stretched rear broke her concentration, making the dildo in the clone vanish. Her last resort was to simply lick aggressively, hoping that the inherent lower bodily control of a mere copy would ensure the clone came first!

As their moans grew louder, Rarity began rubbing herself, seemingly fed up with merely watching such an arousing display. Twilight grinned slightly, but had to focus on licking with every mental faculty she could muster while the clone began using the male clone's tactic with the magic vibrator! Twilight could feel herself just on the edge, panting into the clone's pussy as her orgasm approached. It was going to be so embarrassing to lose the race in front of Rarity, to little more than a bit of magic in a Twilight-looking shell!

As the magic vibrator exited her plot, she bit down hard on the clone's clit, drawing a bit of blood, knowing it was her ultimate ace in the hole. However, instead of the vibrator returning, she felt the screaming clone's own horn, all the way to the forehead! A surge of magic followed, forcing Twilight's orgasm by activating all her nerves that could sense pleasure at once, from her horn to her ass to her pussy.

Twilight could barely think, but she knew this was cheating! To use a horn...wait...how did the clone...? She felt a queef slip out, and a pressure deep in her innards. Oh no, she could feel the clone's forehead, which meant no horn dampener.

A lusty, near-orgasm Rarity proceeded to give her a sloppy kiss, having apparently noticed the competition was over.

Twilight began to panic as she burped slightly against Rarity's tongue, flailing her limbs and trying to cast a spell, but it fizzled out...she was essentially already dead. As the clone pulled her horn out of her rear, leaving it to loudly rip out magic, a wave of dread washed over her along with an intense wave of pleasure.

She relaxed, trying to accept her fate as Rarity smooched her and the two shared a wide-eyed look. The kiss was passionate and tender, just as she'd expect from Rarity as a final goodbye, even with her tongue flailing around as her whole body spasmed, and Rarity getting a climax herself. She was basically a balloon now, and felt a huge sense of release and euphoria as her guts became magic. Rarity's blissful eyes told her everything would be alright as their tongues twirled. She had to admit, as far as ways to go, this was how she wanted it. With one final wave of pleasure, she felt her body pop.

Aftermath

Clone One panted as Twilight blew up above and Rarity screamed. She giggled slightly and sat up to face Rarity, who was shuddering slightly, obviously just having finished from the frantic kiss with her exploding friend. Clone One would've said something, but the magic from Twilight's body rushed into hers instead of going into the pool, making her body convulse and squirt in ecstasy she was sure was leftover from Twilight's mental state.

Between pants and moans and a bit of licking from a clearly-eager Rarity, her mind was awash with a feeling of release and amazement mixed with pleasure. It was several seconds before she could get out a few words between heavy breaths.

"So...Rarity..." was all she could manage.

The licking stopped, and Rarity audibly gulped, likely both out of fear and to swallow the fluids.

"Well I'm glad you didn't...explode like the original...um...y-you're not going to kill me, are you? I swear I won't tell anypony!" she begged frantically.

Clone One shuddered and giggled a little as she recomposed herself and used a spell to remove the glowing number on her mane. She was an absolutely filthy mess, but at least now could sit up properly and speak.

"Well, if you promise...yeah, I think I can trust you enough to not replace you with a clone right now. Couldn't say the same when I brought Rainbow and Fluttershy here, but I won't tell you which one of them's a clone," she said with a wink, making Rarity gulp. "Heh... Listen, I did what I had to, Rarity, I'm still mostly the same Twilight, though I am missing some memories of how the clone stuff worked that she neglected to provide; it should all be in her notes. The bits of her that I didn't have just went into me, at least I think. It's kind of my first time dealing with this...at least personally," New Twilight explained.

"Well then...I um...just don't know how to handle this, um...Twilight," Rarity said as she sat up. "Will this happen every time?" she asked nervously, blushing.

New Twilight rolled her eyes as she casted a cleaning spell and let rip a bit from her rear casually, thinking it best to do it now rather than on the way back.

Rarity groaned a bit.

New Twilight grinned. "Next time I'll remember to use dampeners that can't be taken off by hoof. That was stupid of me...well, past me. ...Oh! And excuse me, I just figured no point in holding it in long after you've uh, heard and seen worse and we're in private," New Twilight replied.

"Right...it's fine, darling, I understand," she said, before sighing a bit. "I suppose there's not really anything closer than what we've done together, so no point in playing coy about bodily functions. Just don't expect me to like it!"

The two shared a giggle.

"Of course not. Are we still on for the spa tomorrow?" New Twilight asked.

"Absolutely, dear! I promise I'll not treat you any differently just because you're not the original. You're my friend in all the ways that matter," said Rarity with a smile.

"Excellent. Sorry I put you through watching her explode. Maybe I should've come up with a spell to absorb the clones in me..." Twilight pondered, her mind racing through possible spell combinations.

"Oh, darling, it's okay if you continue to blow them up. It's actually...kind of exciting that way, but um, I do fear what would happen if one put it's horn in me and..." Rarity said, shaking visibly and blushing again.

"Oh, I see that blush, little miss...you'll get your own clones, so one of them will be able to carry on as you when that happens," Twilight said with a grin.

"U-um, h-hold on, okay maybe you're dead-set on offing me for safety but p-please, doesn't a lady like me deserve something more...dignified than that dirty way to expire?" Rarity asked with a nervous gulp and a drip from her nethers.

"Tell ya what, I'll bring some options, maybe a guillotine among them, and it'll be up to you and your clones what exactly goes down...who knows, maybe your final moments will involve a nice clean slice, only to then feel very dirty things ruin your 'dignified' demise," Twilight said with a huge grin, and a little lip lick.

Rarity breathed heavily and shuddered, again dripping.

Twilight slapped her rear. "Heh, you're hotter than Spike when he melts iron! Speaking of fluids, let's go see if Maud has anything to drink...I feel like I lost a whole lake out my vagina!" Twilight said with a giggle before taking down the soundproof barrier on the entryway.

Rarity chuckled heartily so much she farted and fell over, making Twilight giggle even more.

"Well, that's a first! Although Pinkie told me that it happens sometimes!" Twilight, said.

"Eheh...eheh... Hmph, well, perhaps it's on me that I didn't make her Pinkie promise about it, but mares aren't supposed to go blabbing about things that happen at the spa!" Rarity said as she got up again and began trotting out.

Twilight collected her things into her saddlebags again and followed.

"You know, Maud is her sister, maybe she could help Pinkie become a little better at keeping secrets," opined Twilight.

"Oh please, and next you'll tell me that Luna can help Celestia stop eating cakes!" Rarity replied as they turned a corner.

Maud could be seen directly ahead, inspecting gems.

"Just the pony we were looking for!" said Twilight.

Maud took a bit to turn and wave.

"Why hello. I didn't expect you to be here. Would you give me a moment to make myself presentable?" Maud asked.

Twilight and Rarity blinked to each other a bit, not noticing anything out of the ordinary, but nodded.

Maud proceeded to move Boulder off her rump, and wipe a tiny amount of dust from the cave off of her mane.

"There we go, sorry for being so indecent. Did you enjoy your clone orgy?" Maud asked, taking them both by surprise.

"O-our what?!" asked Rarity, feigning shock at the question.

"Oh, I really should've put soundproofing all around, shouldn't I have?" Twilight asked with a blush.

"It probably would've been a good idea. I could hear everything. You were very loud, and it got Boulder so hot that he touched me a little bit. Please don't tell Mud Briar, I know you two are better at keeping secrets than Pinkie. Anyways, would you like a bath? Perhaps you could let me enjoy clones of my own sometime in exchange," Maud said.

Twilight was impressed at her casualness and composure.

"Um...you won't tell about...Twilight being...?" Rarity trailed off.

"A clone that murdered the original in hot sweat, which could be argued as self-defense? It's technically not even illegal, and would just make ponies uneasy to think about. Life is a lot better not getting worked up about stuff like that. Trust me, Pinkie specifically isn't the original, and she's told me the truth about reality, and if you dwell on any of it, it only makes you want to end your pitiful, meaningless existence and drink a Pan-galactic Gargleblaster," Maud replied darkly.

"A wha-" Rarity began to ask before Twi's hoof stopped her.

"Right, we'll take your word for it! A bath would be nice," Twilight said with a smile, knowing better than to dive into the rabbithole of Pinkie's nonsense through a lens like Maud that could turn it from "weird" to "disturbing and soul-crushing".

"Right this way," Maud said as she led them to the water.

Twilight got in without a word.

"Stay as long as you'd like, but try to put everything back where you left it. Boulder gets upset about the feng shui. I'll be sleeping," Maud said as she trotted into bed and simply laid down, staring upward.

"Twilight...she is even creepier than I remember," whispered Rarity.

Twilight just rolled her eyes and relaxed. She deserved it after all this.