Still Not Ginger

Carrot Top sighed. Why do ponies always assume I’m good at watching foals? Sure, Sparkler’s not technically a foal anymore, but still… Every time I foalsit, one of the foals always finds a way to immobilize me, whether it’s tying me to a chair, gluing my hooves to the floor, or casting some weird spell on me. Oh, I hope the foals are okay. I saw a group of ponies from the hospital heading toward the Everfree Forest, which is where they went. If something bad happened to them, Derpy will kill me…

“Hello!”

Her eyes widened. Oh, no, it’s this dude!

The Doctor skidded to a stop in front of her, laughing uncontrollably. “Sorry you were here for so long. We were a bit busy and happened to forget about you.”

Her eye twitched. “You happened to forget about me? Me, who was left here for an entire day, who had no food or water or anything? What could be so important that you and the foals forgot about me?” She sniffed, narrowing her eyes. “Besides, why did Derpy trust you with her foals?”

“Uh…well…she didn’t exactly…”

“So you foalnapped them?!”

“What? No! Look, the changelings tricked her into following a fake version of me into the forest and then knocked her out and put her in a cocoon on the ceiling so they could feed off her emotions so I had to go save her but then Dinky and Sparkler insisted on coming along because Dinky’s half-changeling and Sparkler didn’t trust me but then we were captured too and put in a cell and we almost died but then Derpy escaped and fought changelings and let us out and there was a monster inside Dinky that exploded the changelings and then she passed out so we brought her to the hospital and now everything’s fine.” He gave a proud smile and puffed out his chest. “And now that I know ponies have phones I can travel the universe while protecting Derpy’s family.”

Carrot Top blinked, utterly confused. “Um…I don’t get it.”

“No matter. Hey, as an apology for forgetting about you, how about you join me and the Hooves for dinner?”

“If you haven’t noticed, I’m kind of stuck here.”

“Oh, yeah. Be right back!”

If I could move my hooves right now, I would facehoof, Carrot Top thought. I guess I could humor them and go to dinner. But after dinner I’m getting this stallion a psychiatrist. He has some serious issues.

Before too long the Doctor was back, this time with a unicorn. She was a light blue color with a two-toned blue-and-white mane, and her cutie mark was an hourglass. When she saw Carrot Top, she gasped.

“Carrot? What are you doing out here?” she asked.

“Hi, Colgate!” Carrot Top replied. “Well, I had to watch Dinky and Sparkler, but then Sparkler used an immobilizing spell on me and now I can’t move. I’ve kinda been here for a really long time, so if you wouldn’t mind removing the spell…”

Colgate snorted, then shoved a hoof in her mouth to stifle her laughter. It was ineffective, for soon she was rolling across the floor, her legs kicking out as she snickered. “Bwa-ha-ha! That’s too rich! Sparkler’s immobilizing spell worked on you? Oh, Carrot, that’s hilarious!”

“What?”

“Sparkler’s magic isn’t that strong. Trust me, I should know. She tried the same trick on me once. Your physical strength just has to be stronger than her magical strength, and then you can break free easily.”

“And?”

“Well, if Sparkler’s spell is stronger than you, then you’re even weaker than I thought! Bwa-ha-ha!”

Carrot Top’s ears drooped. “That’s not nice, Colgate. Could you please let me go now?”

“Uh, sure. Sorry.” Just as she stood, she noticed something. “Wait…hang on…you’re that really weird stallion that I met before,” she said, peering closely at the Doctor. “You said you were a doctor.”

The Doctor curled his lip, offended. “No, I didn’t say I was a doctor, I said I was the Doctor.”

“You know there’s more than one doctor in this world, right?”

“Well, yes, but the different Doctors cannot exist at exactly the same place at exactly the same time or it would cause a paradox. And trust me, paradoxes are extremely hard to fix.”

“Okay, but there are at least four doctors at the Ponyville Hospital, and there hasn’t been a pair-of-ducks or whatever.”

“But in order for that to happen, I’d have to…wait. We’re not talking about the same kind of doctor, are we?”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Well, then, my name is the Doctor. I’m not a doctor, I’m the Doctor.”

“Doctor who?”

He pawed at the ground in frustration. “My name is the Doctor. Just the Doctor. Not Doctor Smith or Doctor Whooves or whatever kind of names you have here, just the Doctor.”

Colgate tilted her head, saying, “…Right. Well, I’m just going to call you Doc.”

Carrot Top cleared her throat loudly, drawing their attention. “Ahem. I’m really interested in this conversation, really, I am, but I’m kind of stuck here and I really need to go to the bathroom. Can’t you two discuss this later? Maybe Colgate can come to dinner with us.”

“You two are going to dinner?” Colgate’s eyes lit up at this new tidbit of information.

“No, he’s having dinner with the Hooves family, I’m just tagging along.”

“Ooh, Doc and Derpy are getting along quite well, are they? Does Night Hooves know?”

The Doctor was not amused. “Colgate, or whatever your name is, would you be ever so kind as to hurry up and let Carrot Top go? I promised Derpy I’d be there as soon as possible, and I still need to get something from the TARDIS.”

Colgate rolled her eyes. “Fine, fine.” Her horn lit up and a stream of energy shot forward, wrapping around Carrot Top’s legs and lifting her off the ground before setting her down gently. “Happy?”

“Very!” Carrot Top squeaked, bouncing around. Then her eyes widened. “Uh, you guys go ahead. I’ll meet you at Derpy’s house. I really gotta go!” And then she was gone, zipping to the nearest house and disappearing inside.

*   *   *

Derpy set the plates down at the table, casting worried glances toward the front door. The plates were covered with fresh fried grass topped with a steaming layer of honey.

Note to self, she thought, I need to go grocery shopping soon.

Dinky groaned and whimpered, her eyes large and pleading. “When’s dinner?”

“Whenever the Doctor arrives,” Derpy responded absentmindedly. I wonder if a changeling escaped? What if he’s in danger? Should I go look for him? But if he isn’t in danger, he might be mad that I think he can’t take care of himself.

But at that moment there was a knock on the door, and relief washed over Derpy.

She bounded over and threw open the door to not only find the Doctor, but also an energetic Carrot Top and a terrified Colgate.

The Doctor smiled sheepishly. “I, ah, may have brought a few extra ponies,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with a hoof.

Colgate lunged forward, placing her hooves on Derpy’s face. “Derpy! He’s an alien! His house is bigger on the inside! You gotta get out of here, he’ll kill us all!”

“For the last time, Colgate, I will not kill you all.”

Derpy giggled and opened the door wider, inviting them inside. Carrot Top immediately raced to the kitchen to hug Dinky. “I see all of you have met already, then,” she observed, amused.

The Doctor nodded, stepping inside and looking around. He took in the cramped walls, the small rooms, and the lack of furniture. Then, peering closely at the small amounts of food on the puny table in the corner, he gasped. “Derpy! I just realized something! You’re poor!”

“…Yeah, and I’ve always been poor.”

He cast Carrot Top and Colgate a long gaze before turning back to her. “But…how are you going to feed all of us?”

“Doctor, I’m poor, but I’m not broke. I have enough food for all of us. I’ll just need to go shopping tomorrow.”

“Blah. Shopping is boring, I hate shopping. Do I have to come?”

“Not if you don’t want to.”

“Good.” He tried to cross his arms and toppled forward, unable to balance on only his hind legs.

Sparkler, who was watching all of this with mild interest, raised an eyebrow. “Great, so now that we all know one another, can we eat already? I’m kind of starving over here. Sure, they fed us a bit at the hospital, but the changelings didn’t take care of us all that well.”

Dinky and Carrot Top, who were already seated, voiced their agreement, and before too long everyone was seated and ready to eat.

The Doctor licked his lips, staring down at the grassy meal. “I don’t know what this is, but it looks great,” he said, leaning down to take a bite.

Dinky leapt forward, pulling him back. “No, silly, we have to thank Celestia and Luna first!”

“Who?”

“Our Princesses, duh!”

He looked around. Seeing everyone staring at him with amused expressions, he blushed and ducked his head. “Right, of course, I know what you’re talking about. So, ah, thank you to, um, Celestia and, uh, Luna, for, you know, um, being…Princesses. Or something. Now, let’s eat!” Before anypony could stop him he had scooped up some of the food in his mouth and was chewing loudly.

Sparkler gawked at him. “Doctor, you are so weird.”

“That’s good, weird is good.”

Colgate shoveled food into her mouth and frowned. “Sho, whaf egshactly hapnnnn?”

“Huh?” the Doctor said.

She swallowed and repeated, “So, what exactly happened? You know, with the changelings?”

Dinky, Sparkler, Derpy, and the Doctor exchanged a glance. Then, one by one, they began to tell their version of the story, pausing every so often to make sure they were remembering it correctly.

Carrot Top and Colgate listened intently. Every once in a while one of them would gasp or whimper, but other than that they were silent, their minds struggling to wrap around what had happened.

The four of them talked for hours, stopping only once to clear the plates and bring out dessert. By the time they concluded their tale, the moon and stars shone high in the sky.

For a moment everyone was silent, each lost in his or her own thoughts. Then Colgate spoke.

“Wow. That’s…certainly a lot to take in,” she said, staring down at the table.

“I hardly believe it myself,” Derpy responded.

Carrot Top pondered this before hurling herself at the gray mare, her arms wrapping around her as she buried her nose in her blonde mane. “Don’t worry, Derpy, you didn’t need Night Hooves anyway. He’s just a big, dumb jerk.”

Colgate nodded her agreement. “CT’s right. Remember all those times he yelled at you and your foals, and told you that you were useless, and complained—”

Derpy held up a hoof. “Okay, I get it. But I’m not upset about Night Hooves—I mean, King Metamorphosis. And even if I was, he’s dead. The thing inside Dinky made sure of that.”

“Speaking of which, is it seriously gone?”

Dinky beamed and bounced up and down in her seat with joy. “Yup! I’m one hundred percent monster-free!”

The Doctor gave her an affectionate smile. “I’m still staying here just in case, though. We never know when it might come back. Well, I won’t stay here the whole time, but…you know what I mean.”

“Not really,” Carrot Top giggled.

He stared at her, and then shrugged. “Oh, well. I know what I mean. Hey, speaking of which… Derpy, I usually travel with a companion. It gets awfully lonely going through space and time on my own. Once I get the TARDIS fixed, how would you like to come with me?” he asked eagerly. “We could literally go anywhere, anytime. Fighting aliens, saving planets, or maybe just relaxing on beaches made of powdered diamond. Besides, I could think of nopony more qualified than you. If you hadn’t saved my flank in the changelings’ hive, all of Equestria would be doomed. And you wouldn’t have to worry about your foals, because we’d almost always be back before they even knew we were gone. And—and—and maybe when they’re older they can come with us. So what do you say, Derpy? Would you like to travel the universe with me?”

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. “You’d seriously want me to travel with you in the TARDIS?”

“Well, yes, I suppose.”

“That sounds amazing, but I have just one question.”

“Ask away, Derpy.”

She took a deep breath and said quickly, “Would we be able to go visit Commander Hurricane? She was alive before Equestria was officially made, and, well, she’s kind of a role model of mine.”

“Of course!” He tipped his head to a side. “So will you do it?”

Her eyes swept around the room. Dinky was nodding enthusiastically, a grin fixed upon her face. Sparkler was beaming, and Carrot Top and Colgate mouthed, Do it! She closed her eyes to think.

This was amazing, it really was. But what if something happens to me and Sparkler and Dinky don’t ever find out? Wait, the Doctor wouldn’t let that happen. Even if I did get hurt, he’d do everything within his power to help me. And if I died, he’d tell them the bad news. Oh, but this was so fun! I felt so alive! I don’t think I’d be able to go back to a regular old life after this.

She opened her eyes and stared at the Doctor. He was great, he really was. He was brave, honest, and smart. He would never abandon her or her foals, and he would risk his life time and time again to ensure their safety. As long as she was with him, she knew that nothing could hurt her. And suddenly she knew her answer. “Honestly, Doctor, I can’t think of anything that would make me happier.”

*   *   *

“I can’t believe Miss Cheerilee is letting me go back to school!” Dinky chirped, skipping in circles happily. “I thought I was gonna have to go to some other school, and that would’ve stinked!”

“Stinked isn’t a word,” Sparkler pointed out.

“It is now.” Dinky stuck out her lower lip. “I made it one.”

“Yeah, but it’s not a real word.”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

“Is too!”

“Is not!”

They stood nose to nose for one more moment before bursting out laughing, rolling across the ground.

“Okay, girls, that’s enough fooling around. If we don’t hurry, you both will be late,” Derpy said sternly, but her eyes sparkled with amusement.

Sparkler and Dinky raced ahead.

It was a week since the changeling incident, and with reporters interviewing the four of them every time they turned around and the Princesses themselves holding an audience with them, they hadn’t had much time for anything else. The good thing about that—well, the good thing according to Sparkler and Dinky—was that the foals got to miss school and were featured in most newspapers around the world. Now the flow of interviewers had tapered off, and while some ponies were still itching to hear what had happened directly from their mouths, things were finally going back to normal. Well, normal by Ponyville standards, anyway.

“It’s nice to see them getting along so well, isn’t it?” the Doctor said, grinning. “First time I met them, Sparkler seemed like she couldn’t care less what happened to Dinky. But look at them now.”

Derpy nodded. “It’s like they’re completely different ponies.” She watched them for a moment, calling, “Girls, don’t go too far, okay?” Then she turned to the Doctor. “What’re you going to do after we drop off the two of them?”

“Well, I was going to get a quick meal at that Sugarcube Corner place, and then I was going to get to work fixing the TARDIS. Oh, and later that pink pony is having a Welcome To Ponyville party for me. How about you?”

“I haven’t eaten yet, either, so I may as well join you at Sugarcube Corner. Then—well, you know how I lost my job?”

“Yeah. You’re not upset about that, are you?”

“No, of course not. But I just heard that Sparkler’s school is looking for an Equestrian History teacher, so I thought I could apply.”

“Do you have a degree in History?”

She flapped her wings a few times. “Well, no, but once you fix the TARDIS, I figured we could see everything firsthoof. Something tells me the books are wrong on a bunch of things. Maybe I could fix that, you know? After I apply for the job, I’m probably going to see a movie with a few of my friends, and then go to that party you were talking about.” She rolled her eyes. “My friends still keep trying to comfort me about Night Hooves.”

“Is that a bad thing? I’d say it’s good to have friends who care that much about you.”

“I know, it’s just that I’ve told them millions of times that I don’t miss him, but they won’t listen. So at the movie, they’ll probably tell me about one thousand times that it’s normal to be sad and whatnot.”

He chuckled. “Well, at least you’ll have the party to look forward to. Dinky told me Pinkie Pie is the best pony party planner a pony could pursue.” After a moment of though, he added, “Say that ten times fast.”

Before Derpy could respond, Sparkler and Dinky came scurrying back.

“Hey, Mom, we’re at Dinky’s school already,” Sparkler said. “Cheerilee said she wanted to talk to you.”

Sure enough, when the Doctor and Derpy reached the schoolhouse, the purple mare was waiting for them.

“Hello, Mrs. Hooves,” Cheerilee greeted. “Hello, Doctor.”

“It’s actually Ms. Hooves now,” Derpy corrected her. “Night Hooves is dead.”

“I’m very sorry about that, Derpy.” Cheerilee reached a hoof forward and rested it on her friend’s shoulder. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing much better. It’s actually a lot more peaceful without him.” She gave the Doctor a look and rolled her eyes, obviously trying to say, Great, now she’s trying to comfort me. “But I know you didn’t just want to talk to me so you could say how sorry you are that all of this happened. So what is it?”

“I just wanted to say how lovely it is to have Dinky back without her being a danger to the students.” When Derpy winced, her eyes widened. “Oh, I’m sorry, that came out wrong. I guess I’m trying to say that I’m glad she’s better. I explained to the students what happened, so they understand not to make fun of her for being half…you know. In fact, if it’s okay with you, I’d like your family to come in some time next week to tell the story again. Then my students would be able to ask as many questions as they needed to, and it would be a great learning experience.”

The Doctor raised his hoof. “Am I included in this?”

“Of course.”

“We’ll do it,” he decided. Then he looked sheepishly at Derpy. “Oh, sorry. You want to do this, right?”

She nodded.

Cheerilee clapped her hooves together, obviously excited to hear the story right from their mouths. Just like every single pony they’d encountered during the past week. “Great! Does Wednesday work for both of you?”

“Yes.”

“Then it’s settled!” She leaned down and nudged Dinky. “Say goodbye to your family now, Dinky. Class is about to start.”

Dinky stared at her for a moment before racing forward, leaping into Derpy’s arms. “Bye, Mommy,” she murmured. “See ya after school!” Then she hugged Sparkler, mumbling her own goodbye, and turned to the Doctor. Hesitantly, she reached toward him. He immediately picked her up and ruffled her mane.

“You be good, okay, Dinky? Do good in school and eat your vegetables, and one day you’ll be able to come with us in the TARDIS.”

“Okay,” she said. She hugged him tightly before squirming away and trotting to her teacher’s side. “Bye, Mommy! Bye, Sparkler! Bye, Doctor!”

They watched her go for a moment longer before continuing on. Before too long they could see Sparkler’s school. She stopped them before they could get any closer, turning to face them.

“I’m just warning you, all of my friends and teachers are probably going to be waiting for me. I’m kind of a big deal because of the changeling thing, so I might not get to say goodbye when we get there. That’s why I stopped you now.”

The Doctor raised an eyebrow. “You do know we’re going to see you in a few hours, right, Sparkly?”

“It’s Sparkler, and yes, I know. But I’m going to…” She trailed off.

“What was that?”

“I’m going to miss you guys.”

“I didn’t quite catch that.”

“I’m going to miss you guys, okay?” She pinned her ears back. “You guys are awesome and I love you and you can’t go to school with me so I’ll miss you. Happy?”

The Doctor smirked. “Very.”

Sparkler blushed and looked away. “So…yeah. I have to go now. Um, bye.” She turned to leave, but Derpy stopped her.

“That’s it? No ‘I love you’?”

She gritted her teeth. “I…love…you.” It was almost as if the words were painful to say.

“Love you too, Sparkler.” She kissed her daughter on the forehead. “Now go to school before you’re late, okay?”

Sparkler nodded happily, galloping toward the school. As she drew closer, the gathered ponies cheered, rushing forward to meet her. She was soon swallowed up by her classmates, vanishing from their sight.

The Doctor and Derpy watched until the young ponies made their way inside.

“I hate to admit it, but I’m going to miss them whenever they’re at school,” the Doctor said. “Why did you have to have such awesome foals?”

Derpy laughed. “Why, would you rather I have horrible foals?”

“No, I suppose not. So. Breakfast. Sugarcube Corner. Shall we?”

“Sure.”

The two turned and began to leave, walking side by side like old friends. Even over the singing of the birds, the Doctor’s voice could be heard loud and clear.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I erased the Weeping Angels from existence? Don’t let the name fool you. They’re anything but angels. So there I was, surrounded on all sides in a forest on a spaceship, with no hope of escape. A crack in space and time that could literally wipe you from history was chasing us, which is why they didn’t kill me right then and there. There was only one place we’d be safe, and the Angels were approaching fast. So I said to myself…”

At that moment, to Derpy Hooves, everything was right in the world. Her foals were safe, the Doctor was with her, and she was happy. It seemed like nothing bad could possibly happen. And the truth was, nothing terrible would happen, at least for a while.

But I’ll make sure it doesn’t stay that way.