Pirate Captain Anon [RGRE]

by Britanon

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Anon, Original Character, Second Person, Comedy, Adventure, Sex, Random
Length: 12069

Anon and his scurvy crew of scallywags find themselves in Equestria and attempt to plunder a ship

After a narrow brush with fate, Anon and his crew of fearsome pirates find themselves on the high seas of Equestria. They try to carry on with their piracy as normal, however after boarding a pony cargo ship things take a sharp turn for the weird as Anon loses all control over the situation.

Contains pirate speak, excessive alcohol consumption and RGRE.

This is my first fic on this site so bear with me if I mess up the tags and all that. Other than that feel free to drop a comment and let me know whether you liked it or thought it was crap.

Published 2019-09-25 23:10:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-25 23:10:02 UTC

The Green Bastard

Muffled sounds met your ears, sounding almost like voices coming from underwater. Your vision was black and your entire body screamed at you in pain as your head pounded and your stomach churned. The last thing you could remember was the ship plunging into the biggest whirlpool you'd ever laid your eyes upon, the crew clinging onto anything they could find for dear life as the ship was dragged into the depths. Then there was nothing but crushing pain as the cold blackness of the sea enveloped you.

Your eyes shot open as a boot connected to your stomach, making you sit up sharply as sea water spewed from your mouth. There was so much coming out it felt like you'd swallowed half the ocean! As you spewed out the vile sea water, the voices surrounding you became much clearer as you heard gasps of shock and surprise.

"The Cap'n... He's alive!"

"Davey Jones'll have to try harder to claim his blackened soul!"

You opened your eyes, your vision blurry but still able to make out the familiar shapes of your crew surrounding you. After coughing and spluttering for a little while longer you rubbed your eyes, your vision all but returning to normal, though they still stung slightly from the salt water. You looked around to survey the situation, then stopped, rubbed your eyes again and did a double take. Not only was your entire crew there on the deck looking down at you, you were on the deck of your own ship, The Green Bastard; the ship that you had been on as it plunged below the surface of the sea, rigging and sails tearing and mast cracking as it met its fate.

The ship appeared to be in almost immaculate condition, well, as good a condition as it was usually in. No torn sails, no splintered wood or gaping holes, everything seemed to be in order. Your crew looked a little worse for wear, all soaked from head to toe, some battered and bruised and with torn clothing, though from what you could gather they were all there and without serious injury. Your head gave a painful throb as you tried to fathom how any of you were possibly alive after being swallowed by a whirlpool, and you cradled it in your hands. You felt a hand on your shoulder and looked up to see your first mate standing over you.

"First mate Nameless, do ye mind explaining how in the hell we're not all at the bottom of the ocean right now?" You asked.

"A- a miracle Captain, it's as if Poseidon himself lifted the ship back to the surface. Me eyes could hardly believe as we emerged forth from below the waves, I'd thought for sure we were all doomed men."

You struggled to picture the large ship simply reversing its trip to the ocean floor and rising back up to the surface, but decided not to question whatever deity was looking over you and your crew.

"Aye, it seems God still has plans for us sorry lot, either that or he can't be bothered dealing with us all yet."

Nameless helped you to your feet, and from this vantage you were able to admire the shimmering blue water that stretched as far as the eye could see and lapped at the sides of the ship. You'd grown to disdain the sea after weeks of travelling through hellish storms that turned everything a blackish grey and brought howling winds and rain that lashed like a cat o' nine, but now the skies were clear, and only slight breeze washed over you as you took in the vast expanse of blue. A toothy smile cracked your features as optimism blossomed within you for the first time in weeks; it seemed fortune was shining on the wicked for once, and you were going to take full advantage of it.

You leapt straight into action, climbing up to the wheel of the ship whilst barking orders at your men, your heart pounding with a vigour you hadn't felt in years.

"To your stations ye dogs! Hoist the sails and raise the flag, today our fortune changes!"

There was a cheer from the crew as they dispersed to their posts, the men looking more lively than they ever had. Must be something about surviving certain death that lifted the spirits somewhat. The sails unfurled- what was once a gleaming white now a discoloured brown- though still appearing majestic as the wind pulled them taut and the ship lurched forwards. Soon enough the sea's breeze was rushing through your hair, caressing your body as the 'Green Bastard' cut through the rolling waves like a knife.

A few hours passed, the mood never dimming as the crew sang sea shanties whilst they went about their tasks, some of which you yourself joined in with. After checking the stores, the ship's cook Unnamed had found that nothing had been waterlogged when the ship submerged, all the food remained fine and unspoiled, and he had prepared a decent meal larger than the ones he usually made to celebrate the ship's miraculous survival. There was dried meat, bread and cheese as were typical, but due to a rare successful raid on a smaller vessel there was also some fresh veg and potatoes which he'd made into a stew and even a small amount of wine for each man.

You were considering breaking out the rum, content to let the day pass without incident, when a cry from the crow's nest startled you into alertness as adrenaline began to course through your veins.

"Cap'n, sails spotted off the starboard bow!"

You whipped out your spyglass, eager to see your soon-to-be prey as you instinctively turned the ship towards it. You then gasped in surprise as you saw a galleon on the horizon, larger than your own ship though slower and less agile, and sure to be holding a hoard of valuable trading goods and supplies. Your heart was pounding as you made a course straight towards it; such a formidable quarry was certainly dangerous and you could be facing heavy losses if you made even the slightest mistake. Your thoughts however were consumed with excitement and optimism, imagining the riches that awaited you and pushing the danger to the back of your mind. A glance down onto the deck showed the crew possessed by a similar excitement as they scurried about readying cannons and loading pistols and muskets, each man arming himself to the teeth as he prepared to fight for plunder and gold.

You were now much closer to the galleon and could pick out more of the finer details on it, and what you saw confused you greatly. The flag wasn't any that you recognised, being neither British, French or Spanish, and the sails were bright shades of blue and purple. Such a colourful ship you'd never seen; there even appeared to be colourful blobs scurrying about on deck, though you couldn't make out clearly what they were yet. What confused you even further was the fact that you saw no hatches down it's side that cannons could be pointed through. An unarmed ship? In these waters?

You turned to your First Mate Nameless who had been stood next to you awaiting orders.

"Tell the men to be cautious Nameless, something about this ship has me stomach churning. Only fire when I give the order, and when we board make sure you keep yer wits about ye, I sense deception and deviant trickery"

"Aye Captain, I'll have the boys in order for ye, make sure none of them get too... carried away" He assured you. With that he descended the stairs from the ship's helm and began barking orders, ensuring no one would dare step out of line. "Any of you dogs even think about jumping the gun without the cap'n's order and I'll have yer sorry hide strapped to the mast and flogged for an hour, and you'll receive none of the bounty! Have I made me self clear?"

There was a chorus of "Aye"s before everyone returned to what they were doing, albeit with a more focused determination and less of a reckless fervent energy.

As The Green Bastard drew closer to the unidentified ship the colourful blobs on the deck came into sharper focus, and what you saw had you totally baffled. It looked like... colourful little horses? They seemed to be tending to the ship like a normal crew would, and some of them even seemed to be gesturing towards your own ship, some even appeared to be waving at you.

The excited chatter and fervour of the crew also seemed to be dying down, replaced with confused mumbling as they too beheld the colourful little creatures. You shouted Nameless back up to the helm, where you handed him the spyglass so that he could see for himself.

"Nameless, do ye have any idea what in the hell those creatures are?" You asked him as he surveyed the strange ship.

"Haven't a bloody clue Cap, I've sailed the seven seas for years and never laid me eyes upon anything like it. The crew be murmurin' too, some reckon it be a trick, others say the vessel is cursed". He spat the word, as if it was a foolish thing to even suggest.

You scratched your beard in thought as anxiety grew and began to replace the excitement you had initially felt. Every impulse in your body was telling you to abandon this quarry, it was an obvious trap that only a desperate fool would fall for. But a desperate fool you were; you and your crew had rotten luck ever since you decided to pursue piracy as a career choice, only successfully raiding much smaller vessels who's bounties were barely big enough to sustain you until the next one came along. This majestic ship before you practically dwarfed your vessel, and was bound to be teeming with riches and booty the likes of which you had only dreamed of plundering. It may be a trap, but the truth was that you couldn't afford to pass this opportunity.

You sighed as you gave Nameless his orders.

"We can't afford to let this one pass us by Nameless; I've no doubt that some devilish trick awaits us, but if we manage to take even a sliver of it's cargo we'll all be rich men. Tell the lads that we're going to board. We'll give 'em a scare, state our demands and make off with the loot quick as a whip, and if I so much as smell foul play we'll butcher the lot of 'em and leg it back here 'fore they can gather their wits and attack us."

"Aye Cap'n, I'll go sort the men out." He said, looking at you with grim determination etched onto his face.

Nameless was a good man, tough as nails and able to instil fear and respect in equal amounts over anyone who crossed paths with him. He was the oldest member of your crew, and was responsible for keeping the sorry band of cut-throats and villains in check whilst you plotted courses and steered the ship. You knew that if any mortal man was capable of getting through this encounter unscathed it would be him.

Author's Note

All the crew's names are different synonyms of 'Anonymous' if you didn't notice already. Shouldn't get too confusing since there's only like 4 named characters, just thought it would be weird if there was Anon and the rest of his crew had bog standard names like Dave or Baz.

Horse Wenches

As the Green Bastard started to close in on the strange ship you made your way down onto the main deck where the assembled crew stood ready. Many of them looked to you for confidence and reassurance, something which you managed to radiate as you strode down the helm's staircase dressed in your crimson tailcoat, black breeches and leather tricorn hat. You wielded a cutlass in one hand and a flintlock pistol in the other, with various other pistols, ammunition and daggers strapped all over your body. Seeing the Captain stride so confidently gave the men renewed vigour, despite the fact that your stomach was churning like the ocean swell and your heart thundered in your mouth.

The two ships were now almost side by side and you could see the curious wide eyed faces of the small horses peering over the side of the deck to look down at you. All at once your men began screaming bloodthirsty war cries as they threw boarding ropes and began to board the enemy vessel. The horses looked surprised, backing away from the edge as your men ascended with daggers clenched between their teeth and cutlasses held at the ready. You followed them aboard, your calloused hands pulling you up the boarding rope almost effortlessly until you crested the edge and jumped down onto the deck.

"Avast!" You screamed, "I be the dreaded pirate Captain Anonymous, and this is me crew! Now, I want you to hand over all yer arms and line up on the deck over there, any messin' around and we'll gut ye like fish!"

The reaction was not what you expected, as instead of cowering in fear or putting up any sort of a struggle, the equines stared at you with expressions of intrigue and curiosity. You raised your pistol as one of them, a coppery coloured mare with a long messy light-brown mane and tail and a picture of a ship on her rear, took a step forwards. She was the only one that was fully dressed, in garbs similar to your own including pointy tricorn hat with a red feather poking out of it, leading you to assume that she was the captain of this bizarre vessel. Your thoughts seemed to come screeching to a halt as the creature opened it's mouth and spoke:

"W-we don't have arms... or hands. What are you and why have you climbed aboard my ship?" It asked hesitantly.

"Shiver me fuckin' timbers Cap'n, did that horse just speak to ye?" Nameless muttered as he stood by your side looking completely perplexed. A shout of "Hay, we're ponies! Watch your mouth!" was heard from somewhere in the group before your mind rebooted and you could form coherent thoughts again. The first thought was how utterly stupid the pony captain's reply was.

"Don't be cracking wise with me, pony!" You spat. "Yer weapons, give 'em 'ere and nobody gets hurt!"

The look of confusion on her face grew.

"We don't have weapons either, why would we need weapons?"

This pony was starting to piss you off, and you leered threateningly close to her as you spoke.

"No weapons? No flintlocks or cutlasses? Not even a bleedin' dagger?"

The mare shook her head, frowning.

"We have knives but they're just cutlery for eating with, they're not very sharp. What use would we have for weapons in the middle of the ocean?"

You pinched the bridge of your nose in exasperation, silently cursing the day you decided stealing a boat and becoming a pirate was a good idea.

"Alright lass, fine." You sighed. "Let's just say that you are the harmless little ponies that you appear to be, now get over there and stand still whilst we truss you up and have a look at yer cargo"

Mild irritation mixed with confusion on the captain's face as she took another step towards you.

"Look miss, I don't know who you are or what you think you're doing but-"

"MISS?! Nameless, are me ears filled with sea water or did this scurvy little nag just call me miss?!"

Your mind was a frenzy of outrage and total confusion, you couldn't make any sense at all of the almost comical situation you'd wound up in. Colourful talking ponies manning a ship all by themselves, who were unarmed and thought you were FEMALE?

"W-w-wait, you're... male?" The pony captain stuttered, tripping over her words.

"Aye of course I'm a bloody-"

"What's a group of stallions doing all alone out here on the high seas? This is no place for frail and ditzy colts! I assumed that with your long hair and being a ship crew you'd all be female..."

Frail and ditzy.... This tiny talking horse was gonna get-

"And why are you carrying rusty swords and those little tube things? Those look dangerous, you should put them down and let us mares put them away somewhere safe". The mare took a step towards you, reaching a hoof out towards your pistol.

"Get back ye scurvy wench!" You yelled, firing the flintlock off in the air to intimidate her. The noise scared the shit out of the little pony captain and the rest of her crew, who all flinched and jumped back. Now you were seeing the fear that you had expected.

"Now, like I said, gather round and don't make a fuss while me lads tie you up. Me and me First Mate are gonna go see what goodies you've got in yer cargo holds." You grinned. You stayed briefly to oversee your men tying up the captive ponies and tried to think about what to do after you'd discovered the booty.

There was the odd squeak of protest or discomfort from the ponies as they were tied up, but you swear your ears also picked out a couple of giggles here and there. Before you could dwell any further on this bizarre and uncomfortable situation, you stormed off down the stairs that led below deck, Nameless following shortly behind.

You gave a deep sigh as you stopped just short of where the cargo hold should be, leaning against the wooden wall.

"Nameless... did ye put somethin' in me rum?"

The old salt gave a dry chuckle.

"I'm wondering if Unnamed slipped us something in the stew, or p'raps we really are dead men and this is some cruel joke being played on us in the afterlife"

"I thought we'd be cursed to sail an endless sea, or burn in the fiery pits of hell for our sins. I've no idea what to make of a ship full of ponies" You muttered bitterly.

"Aye well, I'll take me chances with ponies considering the alternatives. Now, what do ye say we take a peep at this ship's precious cargo?" Nameless replied, standing up straight and shaking himself off, trying to reinvigorate himself.

Your focus came back into clarity as you remembered the ultimate goal of this endeavour- Treasure. You held your breath as you crept into the cargo hold, trembling with renewed excitement at the prospect of untold riches, but also fear at the chance of there being nothing of value. Your trepidation only grew as you saw dozens of closed chests. There could be anything inside them, from mouldy old clothes to heaps of gold and silver.

You walked over to the nearest chest and gripped the lid, your knuckles turning white from the force of your grip, but at least your hands no longer shook. As you slid the lid back, your heart was in your mouth, pounding like a drum, then it was as if a choir of angels were singing as golden light shone from within the chest.

Gold.
An entire chest full of gold.

You turned to Nameless who was himself enraptured as he looked inside another chest. You could see gems heaped within it, all different shapes and colours and sizes. Just one of these chests alone was worth more than you had plundered over your entire career as a pirate!

You were giddy with excitement, and as he turned to you it was clear Nameless felt the same. You both began to laugh maniacally as you ran around the room, flinging open the chests to find them all filled with precious booty. It was more than you ever could have dreamed of; you could all go and live a life of luxury if you wanted to! Even great kings had never seen this much gold!

You felt like you were in a dream as you rushed back up to the main deck to tell your crew.

Sexual Harassment

Your boots clattered on the sturdy wooden steps as you frantically hurried to break the good news. As you came closer to the surface however, your footsteps slowed as your ears picked out a rather unsettling noise. A noise that would usually bring comfort and happiness, but now had the hairs on the back of your neck raising.

Feminine giggling.

Your mind came up blank as you tried to think of what those bloody horse wenches could be doing to your lads. You honestly had no idea what they truly were or what they were capable of, for all you knew they were shapeshifting demons that took an innocent form to lure you onto their ship, and tormented your crew whilst their captain and first mate were absent.

You and Nameless drew your weapons before stomping out onto the deck, ready to confront shapeshifting pony beasts or whatever else might be lying in wait. Yet again though you were stopped dead in your tracks by complete bafflement. The ponies were all still colourful ponies, not man eating monsters, and they were all still tied up. They were also giggling and chatting with each other whilst casting some questionable glances at your crew.

Whilst this was going on, your crew were huddled on the opposite side of the deck, all looking beet red with most of them covering their ears. As you moved across the deck, you could pick out what the ponies were saying more clearly.

"A group of rugged, exotic males climb aboard our ship and tie us all up? It's like in the old sailor's stories!"

"....look so strong, and you can smell the sweat and musk just radiating off them..."

"Hey monkey man, are you just gonna leave us tied up here or are we gonna get to the fun part?"

That last one was directed at you, both ponies and your own crew now realising that the Captain was on deck. One of your boys, Incognito, uncovered his ears and shouted over to you. Like the others his face was flushed red, the lad looking thoroughly embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"Cap'n, we don't know what to do! These ponies..."

"They be harlots Cap'n!" Came a shout from your mob "Vile temptresses!"

The gathered mares all started giggling, some looking to your aghast crew members and winking when they met their gaze.

"Arrgh! Make 'em stop Captain! Me ears can't take no more!" Incognito cried, screwing his eyes shut and clamping his hands down over his ears.

You tried to think of a quick way to silence the annoying giggling creatures, and decided to make an example of the ship's captain in front of them all.

"You, pony captain!" You yelled, pointing towards the coppery coloured mare with an accusing finger as she looked back at you with a slight smirk. "For sexually harassin' my crew in me absence I sentence ye to be tied to the mast and flogged. 50 lashes with the cat o' nine! And a hundred for anyone who feels like gobbin' off or giggling again after this!" You declared.

A chorus of "Ooooooh"s, whoops and whistles met your ears as you read out her punishment, and the captain looked at you seductively as she replied.

"Oh my, the exotic captain wants to tie up his little prisoner and whip her? This really is getting kinky" She taunted.

Now your own face was flushed red as you stuttered and tried to think of a response. Apparently flogging the harlot was just going to rile them up even more, so clearly that wasn't an option. You considered making some of them walk the plank or simply executing one or two of them, but for some reason the thought of harming any of them too seriously made your stomach knot and your cold heart ache a little bit.

This shocked you to your core. You were a fearsome pirate captain! Scourge of the seven seas! A little blood and murder should be nothing to you! But you had to admit, as annoying and flirtatious as these sultry little mares were they were still extraordinarily.... cute. You spat on the ground as you thought that, the word having no place in a pirate's vocabulary. But the truth of the matter was that killing any of these ponies would be like killing a little puppy, and you'd always had a soft spot for cute animals, which meant that extreme violence was off of the table for you.

With a sigh of exhaustion you strode past the tied up mares and back over to your own crew so that you didn't have to make yourself heard over all the giggling and chatter.

"Alright boys, clearly a floggin's just gonna rile 'em up so I'm not gonna waste me time with that. Nameless, grab some lads and take these tarts below deck. Where ye stick 'em I don't care, just lock 'em up somewhere they can be neither seen nor heard."

Reluctantly your crew began to shuffle back over towards the ponies, clearly not wanting to be anywhere near them again. As they moved, Incognito came over to you for a private word.

"Cap', why are we movin' 'em below deck? Why not just kill the lot and be done with it? We're s'posed to be bloodthirsty pirates!"

A few other heads turned at his words as some of the others were clearly confused as to why you hadn't started spilling blood yet.

"Because matey, we still don't know what these so-called ponies really are yet." You said in a hushed matter, pretending to look back to check if any of the ponies were listening to you. "What if by killing 'em we unleashed this ship's dreaded curse and doomed ourselves?"

You were just lying to save face; you'd rather be hung, drawn and quartered than admit to finding the little equines cute; but Incog and the rest seemed to buy it.

"Aye, apologies Cap. I guess anger was clouding me judgement" He replied, though still looking slightly disappointed at not having his blood lust sated.

"Carry on then lad" You assured him.

The mares let out an unending stream of giggles, lewd moans and sexual remarks as they were herded below deck which had all your men flushed and embarrassed again. Many were deliberately flagging their tails and brushing up against their human captors whenever they could, making them rapidly jump away or avert their gaze. A small crack was heard somewhere along the line, the snapping of a mare's tail against a pirate's leg, followed by said pirate leaping several feet in the air and screaming like a sissy.

You pinched the bridge of your nose and muttered curses to yourself at having to endure this humiliating ordeal. You wanted to get back on your own ship, sail away and drink yourself into a stupor until you forgot all about this, the only thing still keeping you here was the treasure filled cargo holds. When the ponies were safely out of the way you'd organise moving the cargo onto your own ship, though it would take time to move it all.

As you stood there cursing and scheming, a tap at your shoulder almost made you shit your breeches, and you whirled around to face whoever had interrupted you. The cook, Unnamed, stood there with a sly grin on his face, unflinching at the fearsome stink eye you gave him for scaring you.

"Cap'n, ye best come have a gander at what I've found"

Your glare turned into a look of suspicion as his shit eating grin grew wider.

"This'd better be something worth me time lad, I don't want to tempt fate poking around the rest of this god forsaken vessel without reason". Unnamed didn't answer, simply leading the way below deck as you begrudgingly followed.

As you walked the dim wooden corridors you could hear the muffled sounds of mares giggling and pirates cursing as the rest of your crew tried to find somewhere to keep your sexually aggressive captives. You followed the cook into the bowels of the ship, wondering what he'd even been doing poking around here by himself until you came to...

"Unnamed, if ye dragged me down here just to show me a kitchen I swear I'll have ye thrown to the ponies" You groaned in exasperation, slapping a hand to your forehead.

Unnamed had been a chef for some rich governor's family before he became a pirate. That was until the governor choked to death on a piece of food he served and he was accused of poisoning him, leading him to flee and join your crew. This blessed you with a fine chef with an eye for luxury and perfection, and you could understand why he would be impressed by the large, clean kitchen the pony's ship boasted. But why he thought you would care in the slightest was beyond you.

"Aye, 'tis a fine kitchen Cap'n, but this ain't what I brought ye down here to witness". He crossed the room to a large door at the back, taking a bow theatrically as he swung it open.

A huge stockroom lay beyond, full of crates and strange metal boxes. Unnamed began to open them up, each container holding different food. Fresh food, fruit and vegetables, cakes, some food you didn't even recognise, all of it perfectly preserved with not a speck of mould in sight. Your mouth began to water just looking at it. Such a feast could only be had on land as fresh produce spoiled too quickly for long voyages, and the pirate's diet you had grown used to largely consisted of stale sea biscuits, salted meat and pickled vegetables, which became almost unbearable during long voyages.

"I- I don't believe what me eyes are seeing... 'tis the finest food I ever laid me eyes upon. Where's the mould? The stale stench and rats scurrying about?" You murmured in disbelief.

"The boxes be powered by sorcery Cap. The air within 'em's cool, some even freezing. All the food they have stays perfectly preserved". Unnamed grabbed a fresh carrot and bit into it as he explained how the pony contraptions worked, his face lighting up in pleasure, "But this storeroom holds a bigger bounty yet..."

He disappeared down one of the aisles of shelves and you followed him further in, snaking through rows and rows of mouth watering food, until you were suddenly stopped dead in your tracks.

Before you were shelves stacked with glass bottles full of various liquids. Liquids that you knew at first sight to be alcohol. There was beer, wine, even rum. Enough to keep your entire crew shitfaced for weeks! You stood in awe as Unnamed took a deep swig from a bottle and stared at you smugly.

"So, still throwing me to the mares Captain?" He laughed, shooting you a cocky grin.

You looked back down to him in a daze.

"W-w-what do friggin' ponies need this much booze for?!" You stammered stupidly. Unnamed chuckled and took another gobfull.

"Who cares? It's ours now!"

You began to laugh hysterically for the second time that day as you grabbed yourself a bottle, not caring what type of booze was in it, and began to drink. After seeing off half the bottle you began to calm down a little bit, realising that you couldn't stay down here getting rat arsed by yourselves without the rest of the crew getting worried. You put the cap back on and grabbed an empty wooden crate.

"Unnamed, grab yerself a crate and fill it with as much as ye can carry." You ordered him. "We're gonna give the boys a nice surprise"

You loaded up a crate each and headed back up, both feeling giddy and excited. Your men still hadn't finished sorting out the ponies yet, so you drank a little more whilst you waited to surprise them.

Mental Trauma

The return of your crew was heralded by several men bursting out onto the deck, sprinting at full speed. They immediately ran to the edge and began throwing up violently down the side of the ship. More men filtered out, some staggering and looking dazed whilst others just stood silently with their faces bright red and unable to make eye contact with anyone.

The last man to come out was Nameless, and you stared aghast as you saw that his breeches had been ripped clean off. He stomped over to you, looking extremely pissed off and flustered, then snatched the bottle out of your hand and downed the rest of it in one go.

"Shiver me timbers... Nameless mate, what the hell happened down there?" You asked, your voice full of concern.

Nameless looked at you with a thousand yard stare and you dreaded to hear what had gotten such a hardened man so shaken up.

"W-we took 'em to the crew's sleeping quarters to lock 'em up. They thought we took 'em there for... other reasons, started gettin' on their beds and... presenting themselves to us". You both shuddered at his words. "We tried tellin' 'em to get in a huddle so we could tie 'em up again, but they were 'avin' none of it! Started askin' when we were gonna get to the 'good part' and quit teasin'"

He then paused to compose himself before he carried on with his harrowing tale.

"That was when they rushed us. Started jumping up at people, rubbing against 'em, trying to force tongues down throats! The lads panicked and started runnin' for the door, and one of the nags ripped me pants off whilst I tried to keep 'em at bay, started sticking her face in 'em whilst i turned tail and fled." He gave a shuddering breath as he recalled the traumatic memory. "I... I feel violated, Captain."

A small amount of fear began to well as he told you what had happened. You put a hand on his shoulder and looked into his eyes, which still couldn't meet your own.

"You did lock the door, right Nameless?"

"Aye Captain, slammed it right in their faces and locked it up. There were shouts and cries from within, somethin' about blue beaning 'em, though I don't know what that means"

You sighed in relief, thankful that you weren't about to be stampeded and raped by a bunch of colourful ponies.

"You and the lads did a fine job Nameless..." You cleared your throat and shouted to the rest of the crew. "I've got some very good news for you lads. The booty this ship's hauling will make us all rich beyond our wildest dreams!"

This got their attention, but some of them still looked at you with some disbelief and scepticism.

"But that's not it lads, in the store room me and Unnamed found a little somethin' else..." You held up a bottle of rum and took a swig, before stepping to the side and revealing the crates of booze that you had brought up. "Help yourselves boys, there's enough down there to make the entire British Navy drunk!"

There was a cacophony of "Arrrrr!"s and cheers as the men rushed over, each grabbing a bottle and immediately starting to drink. You had a huge toothy grin on your face as you watched the men celebrate, knowing that the embarrassment and awkwardness from earlier would soon be forgotten in a drunken daze. Honestly now that you thought about it, a little flirting from some tiny horses was an absolutely minute price to pay for all the riches you were stealing off them. And also a little bit flattering if you really thought about it.

Your paranoia and concern about the ship or the ponies being cursed was soon thrown to the wind as you felt the alcohol kicking in. Your plans for a quick getaway were abandoned as you took another pull from the bottle and turned to your cook who was still stood beside you.

"Unnamed, grab a handful o lads and get down to the kitchen. I want you to prepare the biggest feast ye can, and make sure to bring plenty more booze back up with ye"

"Aye aye Captain!" He grinned, grabbing several guys and hurrying off below deck.

You took a seat on a stray barrel and watched as the alcohol slowly washed away all the fears and trauma that the day had brought. Awkward mumbling and embarrassed looks turned into laughter, jokes and cheer. Now that they were safely away from the lusty little ponies they could reflect on how humorous and bizarre the whole ordeal had been, and how silly and out of character their reactions were.

They also pondered over how they were going to spend the loot they got and what sort of life they were going to live after they got back. For some, piracy was the only life they knew and desired. Others had aspirations of buying land and fancy houses, and a lot you reckoned would just use it to drink themselves to death. You didn't know what you were going to do with your own cut. You could spend it all on the finest ship money could buy, deck it out with the most powerful armaments ever invented and become the most fearsome pirate to ever sail the seas. However if this day had taught you anything it was that you were seriously tempting fate if you continued down this path.

You decided to leave the contemplating for later though and enjoy the moment, grabbing your bottle and heading over to mingle with your crew.

Drink Responsibly

It was evening by the time food was brought out and the sun had started to set, casting a fiery orange glow over the ocean. You and all of your crew were completely trashed by this point, staggering about and singing shanties with slurred speech. Like you, everyone else was amazed at the range of different foods and the quality of it, though they were so drunk they wound up wearing half of it. You were all so drunk in fact that nobody even thought to be concerned when the mares trotted out onto the deck, the fact that they had tried to molest your crew and embarrassed the hell out of them was forgotten as the lads spotted them and started laughing.

"Yarrr Harrr, it's the poniieees!" Someone exclaimed, pointing a finger at them.

The ponies, led by their captain, froze and surveyed the scene with wide eyes. You snickered as you saw the evident surprise on their faces, clearly wondering how their captors had turned the deck of their ship into such a mess. You spotted Incognito leaning over to them, holding out a bottle in offering.

"Heeeeyyy little ponieesh, yooou *hic* wanna come and parrrty with us?" He slurred.

The mares, who had previously been so forward and cocky, now looked uncertain and turned to their Captain for guidance.

"What are you looking at me for?" She asked, "If a nice colt offers you a drink you take it! Now get over there and get drinking!"

They slowly sauntered over, still looking a little unsure of themselves but motivated by their captain's words, and began to mingle with your crew. The pirates handed them drinks and began to cheer as they started to hesitantly sip on them, finding the prospect of getting smashed with some alien horse rapists to be absolutely hilarious.

You yourself were chuckling loudly as you observed the scene, too drunk to care at all about the danger you could be in. To be fair though, the mares did seem to have settled down a little, must have finally realised that you weren't actually there for sex.

"Well well, who would've thought a group of colts could get this drunk and rowdy? I thought you guys were all about prissy cocktail parties and trying to act sophisticated..."

You were a little bit startled, having not seen the pony captain make her way over to you, but you recovered your composure quickly.

"We're pirates ye foolish nag, most of what we do is drink" You replied flatly.

She giggled and took a perch on a barrel next to you, a tankard of mead held in her hoof.

"So I see. You colts really are something, not even most mares are as rowdy and aggressive as you guys. We thought you were creatures from the old sea tales who board pony's ships and, well... have their way with them. I'm sorry about how we acted earlier, we all got a little too overexcited and carried away with ourselves"

You chuckled heartily as the pony captain also gave a nervous little laugh. After all the insanity of the day, here you were getting an apology from a pony who's ship you had taken and who's cargo you were going to steal.

"I 'ave to admit little pony, I've never seen anything give me boys such a fright. These lads've gone up against foes who are armed to the teeth and not spared a second thought for their safety, but the one thing that gets 'em quaking in their boots is some colourful ponies thinkin' they're getting laid" You grabbed another bottle, a cherry beer this time, and took a swig. "What be yer name anyways, I can't just call ye 'pony' all night long"

"Golden Sails" she replied with a little smile.

"And do tell, Golden Sails, how ye escaped. I thought Nameless had ye all locked away" You mused.

"Magic" She said plainly with a smug look.

"Aye, s'pose that's what they all say"

Your attention then turned away from the pony captain as you surveyed the scene on deck and carried on drinking from your bottle. The ponies seemed to have joined in quickly and were happily chatting to your crew and drinking with them. Some were gambling or playing cards, and several of them were stood fascinated as they watched a game of five finger fillet being played, screaming out in shock whenever one of the men stabbed their fingers. You also noticed that several of your men had ponies leaning against them or sat in their laps as they petted them like dogs, stroking their manes and scratching behind their ears. You could imagine that it probably felt nice, but you weren't drunk enough yet to completely forget the sexual harassment you'd been subjected to all day, and so you still didn't really want to be petting any of them.

"So..." Golden Sails started, pulling you out of your thoughts again, "What's it like being a pirate? Is it fun? Exciting? With all those weapons you have it looks like it might be dangerous too"

You were caught off guard by her question. No one had ever asked you what being a pirate was like, and you had no idea how to describe it to someone who clearly didn't know anything about piracy.

"I s'pose... in many ways it be miserable, spending weeks away at sea, eating the same stale food every day and being stuck with a wretched group of filthy, murderous villains" She looked at you with some shock and sadness, but you cracked a grin at her. "But there's also the adventure, the thrill o' the hunt when ye spot another vessel, the prospect of plunderin' riches and treasure beyond yer wildest dreams..."

"Aye it's a hard life, horrible at times, but it's a life like no other, and no other life could I ever live" You smiled smugly, feeling strangely content and proud as the pony captain stared at you in wonder.

You took a short time to reflect on the events that had led up to this moment. Your crew had been struggling for months until now, always seeming to have the most rotten luck at finding and catching other ships. The rare ones you did manage to catch barely had enough loot to hold you over to the next one, and you had felt certain that your days would soon be over. As your ship was swallowed up by the whirlpool you'd cursed the day that you stole it, believing that your fate was sealed and you were all going to hell, but now here you were sat on top of what was probably the biggest treasure haul in history, drinking cherry beer and chatting to a cute pony.

Okay, the ponies had never featured in your fantasies of greatness, but the more you sat and talked to Golden Sails the more fond of her you became. You barely even noticed the fact that she was now leaning against you, as you brushed your fingers gently through her long brown mane. It was incredibly soft against your calloused fingers, but still noticeably windswept and rugged from living at sea.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Golden Sails again as she suddenly hopped down from the barrel and grabbed herself another drink from the crate next to you.

"Want another drink?" She asked as she refilled her tankard.

You'd barely drank half of the beer you already had, but since it was a night for celebration and you had a mountain of free booze to go through, you accepted the bottle she was offering.

"Yarr, course I do!" You said, quickly downing the rest of your beer and cracking the new one open.

Golden Sails hopped back up onto the barrel, taking a few gulps of her own drink before leaning back against you as your hand instinctively resumed stroking her mane and back.

"I wanna hear some of your pirate tails" She said, nuzzling your shoulder a little and staring up at you with wide blue eyes. "You must have some cool stories to tell!"

You snickered as memories flashed through your head. Your crew hadn't had the best of luck, but that didn't mean you hadn't had your fair share of close encounters and adrenaline pumping adventures. You picked a tale, one you often told to impress tavern wenches when you were back in port, about the night you managed to raid a harbour and make off with some of the British Navy's fresh supplies. They had chased you to your ship, and the harbour town was alive with the flash and crack of muskets and then deafening booms as the 18 pounder guns of your ship opened up.......

Plundering the Booty [Lewd]

Author's Note

This chapter contains a sex scene just so you're aware. My first attempt writing one, but hopefully it's alright.

Plundering the Booty [Lewd]

You lost sense of time as you regaled Golden Sails with tails of your exploits. She had gone from leaning against you to laying in your lap and rubbing herself all over you, though you were too drunk to care. Every so often she would hop down and grab you another drink, often doing so before you had finished your current one and encouraging you to down the rest of it. You were more drunk than you had been in a good long while, but the good fortunes of the day and chatting to Golden Sails had left you feeling happier than you had been in years.

You finished telling another story and looked around the deck again. You had noticed that it had steadily been growing emptier as both pirates and ponies staggered away, probably off to bed. You noticed some of your boys that were clearly too drunk to stand getting dragged away by the ponies, which may have been concerning a few hours ago, but your drunk mind just assumed they were helping them off to bed. By now the deck was basically empty, just one lad and a pony sat in a corner giggling and a handful of passed out bodies scattered around.

You decided that you'd best be off to bed yourself and tried to stand up, tried being the key word. As soon as you moved, the alcohol hit you like a tidal wave and the world started spinning violently as you fell to the floor. You could hear Golden Sails giggling as you tried to get to your feet, clawing your way back up the barrel that you had fallen from.

"Need a helping hoof?" She asked, pushing herself under your body and allowing you to use her for support.

"How much bleedin' alcohol did ye give me lass?" You slurred as you finally made it to your feet.

"Awww, I thought you were a big strong pirate monkey that could handle his drink" She looked up at you with an innocent expression, but her teasing tone made it obvious that she'd known exactly what she was doing. "You need me to help you get to bed? A captain can't go passing out on the deck like the rest of the mob"

Whilst you could have easily passed out on deck and felt no shame for it, a nice bed did sound rather inviting, so you accepted her help.

"Aye, I think that'd be hic for the best. L- belch lead the way lassie"

You leaned on her rather heavily as she led you to the captain's quarters, stumbling to your knees several times as she tried to stifle her laughter. You paused to catch your breath as you got to the door, the exertion of trying to walk whilst shitfaced having sapped your energy.

As you stood there panting slightly, you heard a commotion as your first mate Nameless, who had somehow recovered his ripped pants, stumbled around the corner hastily, tripping over due to his drunken state and collapsing to the floor. He looked up, his desperate eyes meeting your own as he started babbling semi-coherently.

"Th-the ponies Captain! Ye cannae trust 'em! They be sirens! Vile cursed temptresses!" He stuttered.

You stared at him in confusion, his rushed words barely making sense to your drunken mind. Before he could continue ranting or pick himself up off the floor, a small blue mare with aquamarine mane and tail came trotting around the corner. She looked at you and Golden Sails, who were both staring in total confusion, before giving an amused little giggle and moving over to Nameless.

"Don't mind him, he's just had a little too much to drink. Here, let me help you get back to your bed" She then grabbed the scruff of his shirt in her teeth and started dragging him away. Nameless wasn't going without a fight though, kicking and screaming all the way.

"Don't let 'em tempt ya Cap! Don't let 'er get ye! Save yerself!"

It was a losing battle however as Nameless was dragged back around the corner, the mare briefly popping her head back to give you both an innocent smile, before Nameless' frantic cries receded into the distance. Your brain had no idea how to make sense of the scene that had just occurred, and you turned to Golden Sails with a bemused expression, hoping that she'd have the answer.

"What hic what d'ye reckon that was all about?" You hiccuped

"N-nothing! I'm sure he's just trying to cause a scene whilst he's drunk, typical colt. I know Ocean Swell will make sure he gets to bed safely, he's in good hooves... hehe"

If you were sober you may have noticed her nervous laughter or her eyes shifting around as she fiddled with her hooves, but you had already gotten distracted trying to pull the door open.

"Aye, Nameless can get a bit wild when he's been hittin' the drink. Let 'im sleep it off" You said with a chuckle, remembering just how many tavern brawls you'd seen him in. Never seen him lose one either to be honest, the man was built like a brick shithouse. "Now, help me get this door open. Bastard's stuck or something"

"Allow me", she said, stepping in front of you and pushing open the door that you had been trying in vain to pull.

You scowled at her, still sober enough to know that you'd been made to look like a fool. Golden Sails just gave you a cheeky smug grin as she trotted inside the room, brushing against your leg as she entered. You followed her into the darkness, then immediately tripped over your own feet again because you couldn't see.

You heard a match being struck and the room was illuminated as Golden Sails lit several candles around the room, the light casting a warm and cosy glow upon the wooden cabin. You took in your new surroundings, seeing maps and charts stuck to the walls as well as the typical things you'd expect to see in someone's room: a desk, a closet and drawers, a chest full of personal items and a large comfy looking bed.

As you looked around you saw Golden Sails stripping off her attire. She took off her tailcoat and hung her hat up, and you briefly wondered why she even bothered to wear them since most of her crew just strutted around naked. A couple of them wore bandannas, but none wore anything over their body. Maybe it was a symbol of status or something.

As you sat and watched she turned back around to face you, and immediately started laughing.

"Why are you still on the floor you clumsy colt? Here, lets get you up on the bed"

She helped you clamber up onto the bed, and you sighed in relief as you flopped backwards onto it, sinking down into the mattress. It was the softest bed you had ever laid on, feeling more like you were floating than laying on a solid object. You giggled dumbly, grabbing a nearby pillow and hugging it to yourself.

"Hay! Sit back up! You can't go to sleep in your dirty smelly clothes!" Golden Sails cried.

You protested weakly as she pulled you back up into a sitting position, but didn't have the willpower to put up much more than token resistance. You slid your leather boots off and began to fumble with the buttons on your tailcoat. The things felt like an impossible puzzle that your mind was too drunk to solve, and you grumbled in irritation as you failed repeatedly to get them undone.

"Let me help you" Golden Sails said, pushing your hand away and climbing into your lap. She quickly undid the buttons with her mouth and you slipped the tailcoat off, and then looked down in surprise as you felt her hooves pushing under your shirt, lifting it up and pulling it off over your head. She then placed her hooves on your exposed chest and gave you a shove, pushing you backwards onto the bed as she now stood above you with a sultry look in her eyes. The pony then laid down on top of you, pressing her snout into your chest and taking a deep sniff as she began to rub her fluffy chest all over your naked torso.

"G-Golden Sails, what are ye-"

"Shhhhh, you don't need to say anything" She whispered huskily into your ear as she continued to sniff you and rub her body against yours.

The feeling wasn't exactly unpleasant as her silky soft fur brushed against you and tickled your chest, but this situation definitely set off a few alarm bells in your head, though they were muffled significantly by the alcohol that was still coursing through your veins. You were about to protest when you felt a warm weight press directly against your crotch as she sat her rump down on top of it. You let out a gasp of surprise, sudden sparks of pleasure jolting through your body as she began to grind gently back and forth against you.

"Mmmmmm~" She sighed, now beginning to lick and nip at your bare chest.

The sensations caused you to shiver and you sucked air in through your teeth, trying not to make any weird noises. She then sat up a little, gazing at you with half lidded deep blue eyes. You were like a deer caught in the headlights as you stared back into them, her eyes seeming to utterly captivate you.

"Y-you colts are definitely something else alright. So exotic, so adventurous, and your smell is just... intoxicating! You got us all so worked up and frustrated making us wait all day, but finally I can take what I deserve..." She panted.

All you could do was groan in reply. The booze had made you too weak to fight back, and the growing pleasure was clouding your mind. Golden's breathing was growing heavier as she humped against you a little harder, but suddenly the weight disappeared as she clambered off you. You looked up with a confused expression, wondering why she had suddenly stopped as she crawled down the bed until her head was level with your waist, staring straight at your crotch.

"I think it's time we took these off~" She sang. She then grabbed the waistband of your breeches in her teeth and began to slowly tug them down.

As your pants slid to the floor and you realised that you were now completely naked, the full implications of what was about to happen dawned on you. Your heart began to pound rapidly as your breathing became quicker, but still you laid there, offering no resistance. Golden Sails eyed your length hungrily, looking like a predator about to devour its prey, before taking it into her hooves.

You'd expected them to be hard and rough, but they were actually quite smooth; firm but gentle. You groaned as she began to stroke you, her hooves moving tortuously slowly down your shaft as you gripped the bed sheets.

"G-Golden.. Ahhh~"

She grinned up at you and began to stroke faster, your member rapidly hardening under her ministrations.

"Just relax 'Captain', let me take care of you" She said with a sly wink. She stroked you for a little while longer as you gasped and grunted, and then suddenly without any warning she swallowed half your length into her mouth.

"Yarrr! Good God above Golden!" You cried, the sudden burst of pleasure causing you to thrust your hips up into her face. "Ye might want to offer some warning next time!"

She just giggled whilst you were still buried in her throat, the vibrations causing you to spasm about from the overwhelming feelings. She stared to bob her head as your hips twitched about, her tongue swirling around and tasting every inch of you. You ran your fingers through her thick, chocolatey brown mane, scratching her ears as she diligently carried on sucking you.

You were absolutely diamonds by this point; never in all your many brothel visits and romps with tavern wenches had you received such expert attention. The fact that she was a pony and definitely taking advantage of your drunken state was completely forgotten as you gave in to the pleasure. You were grunting and moaning, making all sorts of strange noises that you'd never made before as your face contorted from the intense sensations. Your cannon was just about ready to fire when the feelings suddenly stopped and your wet member was exposed to the cool air.

"W-why did ye cease?" You gasped, your mind reeling from the denied climax.

"Because..." She started as she began to slowly creep her way back up your body, almost like a cat. She made her way all the way back up, leaning in to whisper in your ear, "I think you're hard enough for us to start on the main course now"

She brought her rump back down against your crotch, grinding it back and forth again. Without your pants on you could feel just how wet she was as the scent of her arousal started to meet your nostrils. Your hands went to her flanks, gripping and squeezing the soft flesh and tracing the picture of a ship that was on her butt for some reason. She giggled at your touch, giving you a devious smirk.

"I knew you'd give in eventually, all you stallions are the same. You play hard to get but secretly you all know you want it"

You grit your teeth as she humped against you harder.

"Sh-shut up and stick it in already, ye friggin strumpet!" You cried, the teasing becoming unbearable.

"Aye aye, 'Captain'" She grinned, rising her body up.

You felt your throbbing member prodding at her entrance before she began to lower herself down, her hot passage slowly engulfing you. You let out a long groan as you hilted inside her, her insides gripping you like a vice.

"Feel good?" She asked smugly.

"N-never in me life've I had a wench so tight!" You exclaimed, your fingers digging into her rear.

"Well, if you think that feels nice, how about this?"

Suddenly the walls of her marehood began to clench and relax rhythmically, almost as if they were trying to milk you. You saw stars as the burning pleasure made your vision swim and your hips bucked upwards violently, making her bounce on top of you. A string of completely illegible words tumbled out of your mouth and your knuckles went white from how hard you were gripping her ass.

She grinned down at you with a pleased smile on her face as you tried to form coherent thoughts again. Just as you began to recover she started to bounce her hips, thrusting you in and out of her. Your mind was once again washed away by the extreme pleasure, and you simply lay there making guttural, animalistic sounds of enjoyment as she had her way with you.

Golden Sails' breathing started to become more ragged as she rode you harder, her delighted moans soon joining in with the noises you were making.

"Y-yeah! Take it you slutty colt!" She breathed.

You began thrusting your hips to meet hers every time she dropped her rear down, the impact causing lewd wet slapping sounds to echo around the cabin. Golden Sails rolled her hips, grinding her marehood into you and completely soaking you in her juices. She gave a little whinny of pleasure as her clit winked out and she ground it against you whilst you were hilted fully inside of her, then her lips crashed into yours, her tongue forcing its way into your mouth and exploring every inch of it. You kissed her back, hugging her against you as your thrusting reached a fervent pace, slamming against each other wildly. She moaned into your mouth as your hands roamed over her body, pinching her dock and lightly tugging at her tail.

"I-I'm close!" she cried, sitting back up so that she could fuck you harder.

All you could do was look into her eyes and groan in agreement, hoping she got the message that you were about to blow too. She braced her front hooves against your chest and began to ride you like she was possessed, her bouncing increasing to a maddening speed as you both cried out in ecstasy. You could feel her walls desperately clenching against you, trying to force out your orgasm as you pounded into her.

"Y-you gonna cum for me?" She gasped.

You moaned out helplessly, knowing that you were close but unable to get any words out.

"Do it! Cum for me! Cum inside me you dirty little colt!"

Her dirty talk finally pushed you over the edge, your balls clenching as you erupted inside of her. Your vision went white as the pleasure exploded in your mind, your toes curling and your fingers gripping onto the bed sheets for dear life.

"YAAARRRRR! SHIVER ME FUCKIN' TIMBERS!" You screamed out in ecstasy, firing load after load inside her.

The feeling of being filled sent Golden Sails over the edge too as her own orgasm came crashing through her. She threw her head back, screaming out in bliss as her hot marecum gushed out, drenching your body and the sheets below. Her hips bucked wildly, practically pummelling you into the bed as she violently rode out her orgasm.

You were basically catatonic by the time she calmed down, staring blankly at the ceiling as your tongue lolled out of your mouth and your chest heaved like you'd just run a marathon. Golden Sails rolled off you, gasping for breath as she nestled against you under your arm.

It was several minutes before either of you spoke, both content to bask in the afterglow and cuddle against each other, listening to the creak and groan of the ship as it rocked on the waves. Eventually though, you decided to break the silence.

"Golden Sails... I think ye just fucked me friggin' brains out"

She giggled, cuddling a little closer and laying her head on your chest.

"That good huh? Don't the mares treat you right at home?" She asked innocently.

"They treat me as right as I pay 'em to, but I could swear I felt my soul escape me body just then." You replied with a broad grin.

"Well, you were awesome too" She said as she kissed your cheek.

You chuckled and gave her a squeeze.

"Don't tell fibs lass, I just lay here like a useless sack o' potatoes and let ye do all the hard work!"

"Well, the mare usually does take charge, but I'm not opposed to letting you have a go on top if you're ready for round two" She said, giving you a wind and a devious smile.

"R-round two?" You muttered.

Part of you hoped she wasn't serious, you were still exhausted and you might physically break if you carried on. But another part completely betrayed you, twitching back to life at the thought of going another round with the sexy pony who had just blown your mind.

"What, you thought we were finished after that? We've got the whole night to enjoy ourselves" She whispered into your ear, giving it a little nibble for good measure.

Her husky voice caused you to shiver. You had never been so aroused and so scared at the same time. Your body ached, your muscles were sore and you were still heavily drunk, but at the same time your member throbbed with a powerful need and adrenaline coursed through your veins. You took a moment to consider the fact that being fucked to death by this sexy talking horse was probably a much better fate than anything else you could hope for living the life of a pirate, and grinned broadly as you rolled on top of her to go again.

Epilogue

You awoke to sunlight streaming through cracks in the wood, searing your eyeballs as you cracked them open. Your head was pounding like a cannon had gone off and your throat was dry as bone. Furthermore, your body ached deeply and you reeked of sweat and something sweet and musky.

"Yarrr, what happened last night?" You groaned weakly.

Then memories came flooding back to you. The ponies, the booze, Nameless getting dragged away whilst he screamed like a sissy....

The hours of mind blowing sex you'd had with a copper coloured mare.

But as you looked around, you found yourself back in your own cabin, on your own ship, in your own lumpy bed. Did all that nonsense really happen? You cradled your head in your hands as it throbbed painfully, wondering if all that had happened was just some twisted fever dream.

You realised that no good was going to come from sitting there chasing your thoughts in circles, and decided it would be best to ask the rest of the crew what had happened. You threw on some pants, your boots and your captain's hat, not even bothering with a shirt. You'd be going back to bed as soon as you put your mind at ease, and weren't concerned with appearances at the moment. You then shambled over to the door like a zombie, your stomach churning violently as you stood up.

The bright morning light blinded you as you pushed the door open, and you brought an arm up to shield your eyes as you staggered out onto the deck. The first thing you noticed was that none of your crew were up yet, the deck still completely deserted. The second thing you noticed was half a dozen chests lined up on the deck, the closest one having a note stuck to the top of it. You walked over to the chest, grabbing the note and reading it carefully.

"Dear Captain Anonymous

I want to thank you for the night of fun you and your boys gave us last night. We've never met any stallions with as much stamina and endurance as you, I think we're all gonna be walking funny for weeks! We hope you enjoyed it just as much as we did, but to say thanks we've given you a few of the chests full of gold and gems that you seemed to be after. I swear I'll never understand what it is with you colts and your jewellery, but I hope you like it. We're all sad to see you go, but I'm sure you'll appreciate the fact that we all have jobs to do, and can't have hot pieces of eye candy distracting everypony whilst they're trying to work. We hope to meet you all again though, let me know if you're ever in Equestria and want some fun. *wink wink*

Lots of love from Golden Sails and the crew"

You felt like you were going to be sick. Sure you were now all rich beyond your wildest dreams, but at what cost?

You could never look your men in the eyes again, but even worse was the fact that that the sex had been so unbelievable you didn't think you could ever go near a woman again. That pony had ruined you, robbed you of your thirst for wenches, and you didn't think you could ever get it back. You shakily turned back around, folding the piece of paper into your pocket.

As you looked up, you noticed that your crew had somehow filtered out silently on the deck and now stood staring at you, waiting for you to speak. They all carried expressions of embarrassment, guilt and shame. You knew exactly how they felt, and there was nothing you could do or say to make things better. You all had to live with this burden now, and you'd be damned if you ever let anyone else find out what had happened. You swallowed the lump in your throat and licked your lips, looking at your assembled crew.

"Lads, ye all be rich men now, richer than ye ever dreamed of. But not one of ye will ever utter a single word 'bout what happened last night, lest ye be damned to hell a thousand times over. Ye won't speak of it to me, to each other, not to no one. Do I make me self absolutely clear?"

There was a halfhearted chorus of "Aye Captain"s, and with that you turned away and slowly trudged back to your quarters. As you plodded back into your room, you took a look around, noticing a quarter full bottle of rum left out on your desk. You picked it up, swirling the contents around giving a weary sigh. You then swigged the contents down in a couple of gulps, the warm burn bringing some small sense of comfort as it travelled through your chest. When you made it back to shore you were going to drink and drink and drink, and maybe one day you could forget last night.

Fin.

Author's Note

Well that's my little story done. Hope anyone who took the time to read all this enjoyed it, I'm fairly proud of it myself tbh which is why I took the effort to format it properly and upload it here. Don't let that deter anyone from criticising it though, come say whatever you want about it.