Jet Set Rodeo: Equestria Taggers
Chapter 1: Graffiti is Art
Author's Note
Chapter 1: Graffiti is Art
“Yo! Yo! Yo! This is your main music master, DJ PON-3! Here to bust into your heads and blow your minds out your cute lil’ ears with my sexy voice and sound. Those of you prone to nosebleeds better have kept some tissues handy, cause you’re listenin’ to Jet Set Rodeo!”
A girl with electric blue hair and purple-tinted shades danced in front of a wall of speakers in an undisclosed location as she shouted into a mic on the turntables in front of her. She was dressed in a pair of purple tights, a sleeveless silver t, and a pair of red sneakers. Her bangs bounced up and down in tune with the music whether her dancing was causing them to or not.
“I’m here to bring you another Canterlot underground pirate radio broadcast and tell you ‘bout what’s happenin’ on the streets of our once out-of-site city. Better unwrap your gum, suckas, cause we got one heck of a story to unpack today.”
Canterlot City is bein’ oppressed by the Neighsay Group, a mega-enterprise headed by City Councilman Neighsay. For five years now, Neighsay has been using his money and influence to mess with everything: industry, society, and even our culture. And he’s even got his eyes set on fully takin’ over City Hall.
Lately, Neighsay’s been shaking down the city government, passin’ that “Neighsay Law” crap, and has even bought off the Police department.
Guys, believe me when I say this law is nothin’ but garbage. I mean, a law that prevents people from expressin’ themselves in public? What kind of whack-ass jerk comes up with somethin’ like that? A selfish little punk who thinks he’s a big man, that’s who.
Since the law’s been passed, Neighsay and his gang have been tryin’ to stomp out our culture left and right. They don’t give a rip about our rights; all they care about is profit. And some spineless fools in City Hall have already become flunkies in their diabolical scheme.
You’d better believe they’re listening in on this broadcast…
But even in all this heat, there’s a group of young kids who’ve been tearin’ up the streets…I’m talking about the Rudies. These kids have set out to bury Canterlot in graffiti, and now there all wrapped up in their own little territorial tug-of-wars.
The hottest team at the moment is a new gang called the CC’s. They say they’re here to fill in for The Elements, a real group of rad rudies who used to really stick it to the Neighsay group back in the day. Their gang includes Zip, a quick chick with her head so high in the clouds, you have to look up just to see her feet; Sugar, a real sweet thing who will pull you in and break your heart with her fine art and honey voice; and let’s not forget their leader, a country gal with enough streetsmarts to make the rest of us city-slickers look stupid, but most just call her Bud.
These three ain’t your garden-variety street punks, you know what I’m saying!
“As for recent news, Canterlot’s been havin’ one baaad trip. Attacks on the record stores near the seaside, prowlers in uptown Canterlot, low-lives spreading vicious rumors, mysterious blackouts spreading across central Canterlot City…”
“...and who should be following them around but the Neighsay Group’s watchdogs, the Neighsay Police! And with crimes getting as bad as they are, you know the crackdowns are only getting tighter.”
DJ PON-3 was getting winded from her dancing so she leaned against her turntables to speak into her mic. Her hair was somehow still bouncing in tune with the music.
“Woo… My heart ain’t pounded like this since… since, my first date with my homegirl, Tavi. I mean, I was so nervous, I forgot to wear my underwear, baby!”
Her voice suddenly became more serious, but still kept its funky tone as if she was spouting lyrics to go along with her music.
“Now this goes out to all you CC’s listenin' right now, this ain’t the time to be sitting around sipping afternoon tea! You're on top now, but the game’s about to start soon, and y’all are gonna be the ones making the plays! So get smart and skate fast, cause Neighsay and the Police ain’t the only people you’ll wanna watch out for.”
Inside a garage overlooking an abandoned skatepark, a radio was suddenly clicked off. A girl with purple hair, an orange muscle shirt, purple pants, and a rainbow belt removed her hand from the knob of the radio before placing down her refreshing glass of iced tea.
“How do you think she knew we were drinking iced tea?”
A girl seated at a table across from her sighed. She was dressed in an oversized, purple, basketball jersey with a zero printed on the back and front. Through the large holes in the sides one could also tell she only wearing a sports bra and exercise shorts for additional clothing.
“It’s supposed to be a metaphor, Scootaloo. She doesn’t actually know we’ve been drinking iced tea.”
The girl now known as Scootaloo scratched her head in confusion, “Sweetie Belle you know I failed English. So don’t hold your higher grades over me by using words I don’t know.”
The sound of a collar jiggling suddenly rang out as a dog scratched at his neck, “Metaphor; noun, means a thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract.” The dog soon rolled onto his back in his doggy bed and began to make himself comfortable.
Sweetie Belle laughed, “Ha! Even the dog’s smarter than you!”
Scootaloo huffed in frustration, “That is not a fair comparison! Spike is Twilight’s dog, and she’s like the smartest person in school. Of course he’d be smart having to hang around her all day.”
“Still doesn’t mean you couldn’t pick up a book every once in a while.” Sweetie Belle mumbled. Scootaloo was about to retort, but a new voice was quick to cut her off.
“Would you two knock it off!” A new girl shouted. She was dressed in a green short-sleeved plaid jacket, a red shirt with a yellow diamond and apple on the front, and a pair of blue skinny jeans. Along with it all, she also had a large red bow tied into her hair that bounced everytime she shook her head, and considering who her company was, that occurred constantly.
“We ain’t here to argue, we’re here to plan.” The girl explained, “DJ PON-3 is right, now that we're on top in the Rudie scene other gangs are goin’ to be lookin’ to take us down. We need to find a way to protect our territories before someone starts sprayin' over our tags, or worse, the Neighsay Police cleans them up.”
“Sorry, Apple Bloom.” Both girls replied in unison.
These girls are the CC’s, or Canterlot Crusaders if your prefer to use their full name. They used to run with a gang called The Elements, but ever since their disbandment after the loss of their leader, they’ve since broken off to form their own group. They are the newest and youngest gang in Canterlot City at the current moment, but have also become the most infamous due to their recent takeover of Dongola Hill not but a week ago.
Currently, the CC’s make their base in an old garage located in an abandoned skatepark under a busy overpass. The Neighsay Police don’t know their squatting here of course, but save for the slight risk of being arrested for trespassing, the girls really have no fear of losing it. The overpass is an important route that greatly affects Canterlot City’s traffic, and to tear down their skatepark would require removing the overpass as well, which would not be good for productivity. Councilman Neighsay has thus forgotten it even exists, allowing the CC’s a safe place to hide and stash their stuff after a long day of spraying the streets.
Sweetie Belle tapped her chin as she finished her glass of iced tea, “The easiest way I can think of to protect our tagging spots is to gather more members. That way we can always have someone watching the streets while the rest of us move on to take the other gangs’ territories.”
Apple Bloom nodded, “The Elements used to do that all the time back when they ran the streets, and it never failed them before as far as I recall.”
Scootaloo turned up the right corner of her mouth. She wasn’t feeling too sure of the idea as the others were, “It’s a good plan, sure. But how exactly do you expect us to get more members? We got some streetcred for the taking over Dongola Hill no problem, but that alone isn’t going to be enough to make solo Rudies want to join us. And we can’t just put out fliers sayin’ we're lookin’ for new members, the Neighsay Police would be on us like that.” She snapped her fingers to emphasize her final word.
Apple Bloom hung her head in thought, “You aren’t lyin’.” She admitted, “Ain’t gonna be easy to build up our gang without using the traditional methods. And we don’t know any other Rudies well enough to openly ask them to join our gang.”
Sweetie Belle sighed, “I really wish The Elements were still around. Jewel could convince almost anyone to do anything, even the Neighsay Police.”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo agreed, “and Blitz would already be out and about spraying the territories with reckless abandon. It didn’t matter where she tagged, she was always too fast for any gang or officer to catch her. And she always somehow managed to make it back to protect our territories just in the nick of time.”
“Cider and Flanksy were damned good planners too. Way better than me.” Apple Bloom admitted, “If they were here they’d already know what to do and what areas we’d need to hit.”
The girls heard a whimper and turned to see Spike looking as forlorn as they were, “Don’t forget about Arcane. She’d always have some kind of new invention to make spraying those big areas easier or have some new method of carrying more paint cans for easy access.” Spike sighed again, “I really miss riding around with her like in the old days.”
The three girls nodded sadly, “yeah…”
It was at this point that Apple Bloom noticed their music had been turned off, and immediately shot over to the radio to turn on a more funky beat. The other CC’s suddenly felt themselves become more energized.
“What are we doin’?! This ain’t some pity party! We’re the CC’s, the best Rudies in all of Canterlot! We don’t need The Elements to stick it to the Neighsay Group!”
“Yeah!” Scootaloo shouted in agreement, “And screw the Neighsay Police too!”
“Exactly!” Apple Bloom liked the vigor suddenly popping up in her fellow Rudies. They all began dancing to the music, “If we can’t recruit other Rudies the normal way, we’ll just have to give them a reason to want to join!”
“But how do we do that?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“By showing them we’re the raddest Rudies out there, that’s how!” Scootaloo replied.
A wide smile spread across Sweetie Belle’s face, “I’m loving this energy!” She practically sang, “Let’s get down to Dongola Hill right now! I want to spray something!”
“Now you're talkin’, Sweetie Belle!” Apple Bloom cheered back.
“Don’t call me that. I’m Sugar!” She spun as she sang.
“And you can call me Zip!” Scootaloo added.
“Then y’all can call me Bud!” Apple Bloom agreed with their current state of mind, “So what are we waitin’ for?! Let’s get our skates and get out there! Canterlot ain’t gonna cover itself in graffiti!”
The three rushed up to each other and brought their hands together in a three way high five. Spike barked happily as he bobbed his head to the music. All four shouted to the rooftops as they let out their gang's official battle cry.
“Canterlot Crusaders Graffiti Artists! Yay!”
