Painful Truths

by FabulousDivaRarity

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, Stellar Flare, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Firelight, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst
Length: 4491

Starlight and Sunburst overhear a conversation between their parents.

A slightly different take on my story “Truth Hurts”, in which Starlight and Sunburst go after their parents and overhear their conversation, learning some painful truths themselves.

Published 2019-09-25 07:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-09-25 07:10:01 UTC

Painful Truths

Author's Note

So I kind of felt that "Truth Hurts" Was missing the perspective of Starlight and Sunburst. So I cranked this out after it knocked around in my head a few days.

I hope you all enjoy! :pinkiehappy:

Painful Truths

“We don't want your help!”

The adamant declaration of both Sunburst and Starlight Glimmer echoed in the streets of Sires Hollow.

Stellar Flare was stunned, not quite processing what had been said just yet. “I’m sorry… You don't want our help?”

Firelight chuckled, but whether out of nervousness or disbelief nopony could say. “That’s... That's ridiculous! What reason could you possibly have for that?”

Starlight was unable to hold back any longer. “Because you're driving us crazy!” She barked.

Stellar Flare was affronted by the claim as she looked to her son. “Oh, really? And just how am I driving you crazy?”

Sunburst couldn’t help his outburst. Nearly eighteen years of repression of his feelings about his mother’s plans came bursting to the surface. “By always coming up with plans! I don't need a plan! I mean, maybe I do, but it'll be mine, not yours!”

Stellar Flare felt her throat close up. “Well… I'm sorry for trying to help!” Unable to maintain her composure any longer, she galloped away in tears.

Firelight looked at his one-time enemy and felt his compassion blooming. “Stellar Flare, wait!” He called, but before he could go after her, his daughter laid into him as Stellar’s son had her.

Starlight spoke with surprising venom. “And you're not any better! I'm not a filly! I'm a grown pony with a job to do, and I'll do it on my own!”

“Well. I'll let you get to it then.” He said despondently before running after Stellar.

Starlight and Sunburst stood with one another, and Starlight sighed. “Greaaaat, Now we have to smooth things over with our parents on top of finding a friendship problem."

Sunburst rubbed a hoof under his chin. “It’s almost like our relationship with our parents is the friendship problem.”

Starlight looked at him worriedly. “You don’t think that’s it, do you?”

“Ahem!” The sound of a throat clearing caught their attention. The baker, librarians, and mare who sold her essences were standing there, but it was the baker who spoke. “That’s what all of us think.”

Sunburst cringed as Starlight let out a groan and flopped onto her back. “Why couldn’t we have just been sent to stop a war or something?” She whined.

Sunburst let out a hefty sigh. “I don’t know. But we need to do something about it or we’ll never solve this problem. Maybe now that everything is out in the open, it won’t be as bad?” He suggested.

“Maybe…” Starlight said, then sighed. “We’d better go find them, then.”

Sunburst nodded. “Right.”

Together, they set off to look for their parents.

Firelight had found Stellar weeping not far away, and went over to her. “Stellar, would you like to discuss this over some tea?” He said quietly as to not startle her.

Stellar Flare looked up at him in surprise. “I think that would be nice.” Her voice was oddly hollow.

Firelight helped her to her hooves, and they went to his home. Starlight and Sunburst caught sight of the two of them when they were about to enter the door. They decided to follow. Guilty as they felt for spying, seeing their parents interacting with one another was bizarre in and of itself, and couldn’t help some observation. Starlight cast a spell that allowed them to hear what was going on through the walls, and watched through a window as Firelight prepared tea for himself and Stellar Flare. When the tea was done, he set a teacup in front of her, before sitting in front of her, waiting for her to speak. There was an endless silence that almost made their children wonder if they’d fallen asleep, before Stellar Flare spoke.

“Did we really push them that far?” Her voice was so low that Sunburst and Starlight almost didn’t hear her.

“Apparently so.” He said, voice tinged with bitterness. Sunburst felt a massive surge of guilt at the sight and sound of his mother putting a hoof to her forehead, and weeping quietly.

“I’m a terrible mother.” Her voice was tremulous and choked with her tears. Sunburst was as fascinated as he was horrified by the sentiment. He’d almost never seen his mother cry as a child. It disturbed him greatly, and yet fascinated him to think that his strong, confident mother could have her moments of doubt. He had to fight back the urge to rush in and hug her as the guilt tried to swallow him whole.

“You’re not.” Firelight said gently. “I’m just as guilty of pushing Starlight to be a filly as you are of making too many plans for Sunburst. It’s not a one-sided affair. If you were a terrible mother, I’d be a terrible father right alongside you.” Starlight was surprised to hear him take culpability for his actions. Surprised, and impressed.

“I don’t know how I could have been so blind to how my actions were hurting my son.” Stellar said quietly.

“I think we both are guilty in that regard. Though in my case it was more that on some level I was aware of it, I just didn’t want to see it. I’m not sure if that’s worse or better.” Firelight said, and took a sip of tea. Starlight felt a slight twinge of guilt herself at the bitterness in her father’s tone.

Stellar Flare sighed over her own teacup. “Sunspot walked out on me not long after Sunburst was accepted to magic school. He never gave me a reason why he left. He just… Was gone. I was alone with a son to raise, and I just… Couldn’t plan for that. I just wanted Sunburst to not have to feel the way I did. I didn’t want him to feel like he failed, and then he flunked out of magic school and I… I couldn’t help it. It was like my maternal instincts went into overdrive. I wanted him to have a plan for everything, because I thought it was the only way to protect him and keep him safe…”

Sunburst’s attention was riveted on his mother. Stellar Flare had told him plenty of stories over the years, but this one was one he’d never heard. His earliest memories were centered on the day he got his cutie mark and was accepted into magic school, and he vaguely recalled a stallion that resembled him being there, but it wasn’t as if he appeared often in his son’s recollections. In fact, after that day, he didn’t appear at all.

“Mom never told me this before.” He said to Starlight.

“She never told you your Dad left?” Starlight asked.

“She told me that after I went to magic school they got a divorce. I can’t really remember much before that time, but I think I would have remembered if they were unhappy. But she never said he left her…”

Starlight put a hoof around her friend, just as Firelight reached a hoof out to Stellar Flare.

“You’re not the only one who tried to make up for their past mistakes here. When Starlight’s mother left us for Las Pegasus I was the sole provider for our family. I worked such long hours that I was always leaving her at home by herself. As much as I wanted to spend time with her, the only way I was going to provide for her and keep a roof over her head. I’ve carried that guilt every day since then. I guess I wanted to try and keep her young and safe to make up for lost time, especially when I learned how much she struggled after leaving home.”

Starlight’s head snapped up. “Mom… Was in Las Pegasus?” It was slow, a question without being a question.

“You never told me that.” Sunburst said.

“I… Didn’t know.” Starlight said, dazed, as she continued watching.

Stellar Flare gave a weak attempt at a smile. “We’ve really outdone ourselves making mistakes, haven’t we?”

Firelight managed a laugh. “We certainly have. But at least we did it for the right reasons.”

“Do you think they’ll ever understand them?” It was a good question, and she both wanted and was afraid of the answer.

Firelight turned that question over in his mind for a moment. “Maybe when they have foals of their own. Until then, I don’t think so. Not to the level that they will then.”

Stellar Flare nodded weakly. “I feel so awful that I made Sunburst so upset. No wonder he’s been avoiding coming home…” The sound of his mother recriminating herself for her actions made Sunburst cringe.

Firelight sighed. “I know what you mean. I think we made a cycle we didn’t mean to. We tried to smother them with our love and attention and in turn drove them away."

He’s right about that. Starlight thought.

Stellar nodded. “It was easier, wasn’t it? When they were little and needed that more. At least then that love and attention had someplace to go. Now that they’re grown the need to give them that has grown right alongside them, but they don’t need that attention anymore.”

Firelight nodded sadly. “There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t look through a photo album or go through a box of Starlight’s old things. I don’t know how to let go.”

Starlight felt her insides twist at the admission of what she’d long suspected. It didn’t make her feel vindicated as she thought it might. Instead, it made her feel… Sad, and a bit guilty. Certainly, while she still had plenty to learn about friendship, she thought she knew everything she needed to know about being a good daughter. She realized she had much to learn when the realization that she’d never asked her Father about his own struggles in all the years she’d been away dawned. Silently, she resolved to fix that.

Stellar spoke. “I don’t think I do either. When Sunburst was born, I got him a baby blanket covered with stars and moons. He never slept a night without it until he left home. When he wanted me to read to him before bed, I used to read him a story in a rocking chair and wrap him in that blanket and tell him a story, and it always put him to sleep. I think some part of him still remembers it because his cloak isn’t designed too much differently. Maybe that was a piece of it. That reminder of his foalhood bringing all those emotions back…”

A very dim image flashed through Sunburst’s mind of a light blue blanket decorated with silvery stars and moons. He blushed at the realization his mother had, and yet wrapped his cloak a bit tighter around himself, as if trying to give himself a bit of comfort.

Firelight smiled. “I can understand that. When Starlight was little we used to fly kites together, and I kept them all. Every day I’ll go out and fly one of them in the spot we last went to doing it together, and if I close my eyes, I can still pretend she’s there with me.” Starlight felt her guilt beginning to blossom in full and silently kicked herself for not writing her father more.

“I do that all the time. When Sunburst was a newborn, he used to sometimes not sleep unless I took him outside and let him watch the stars. Before he left for magic school, I took him to the backyard and sat him in my lap. I told him that if he was missing me he could look up at the moon and know I was looking at the same one, and if he wanted to talk to me at night, he could talk to the moon. And when he was away, I used to sit outside under the moon and read the story he loved best as a colt, so I could pretend he was still there and I could read to him.”

Sunburst was still shaken from his mother’s earlier admission, but that small story sunk in, and he could recall the memory with sudden clarity. He remembered nestling himself in his mother’s lap the night before he was to leave home, and her telling him about the moon. What he also remembered was that every night at school he’d sat by his window and talked to the moon as if he were talking to her, and feeling a sense of peace when doing it, as if his mother were right there with him. In all that chaos in the days leading up to his failure, he’d found immense comfort in that ritual. Had he ever told her that? He didn't think so. He had to remove his glasses to wipe a tear from his eye.

“Don’t you wish you’d appreciated those moments so much more when you had them because you never realized how quickly they’d be gone?” Firelight asked. Starlight felt a sharp pang in her as she realized that she really did wish she hadn’t taken her father’s love for granted as much as she had in past years now that she knew what he knew.

Stellar nodded, sniffing. “Every day. Every single day. I know children can’t help growing up, but I think we all pray that we could keep them like that forever. That we’d still be the ones they’d come to with everything, and be the invincible figures they used to look at us as.”

“I know I do. But some prayers never get answered.”

“We both learned that the hard way, didn’t we?” Sunburst couldn’t help but hang his head a bit at that, Starlight doing the same.

Firelight sighed. “Unfortunately we did. I prayed every day for my wife to come back, and you prayed for Sunspot too, I imagine.”

Stellar nodded. All was quiet for a moment with everypony, then: “He died.”

Sunburst’s head shot up so quickly he hurt his neck.

Firelight looked up. “What?”

“Sunspot passed away. I didn’t find out until a few weeks ago. He’d been in treatment for some rare disease for years. I think that was why he left. He didn’t want his son to watch him die. Or me.”

“Stellar…”

Starlight looked over to Sunburst, who looked shocked, saddened, and surprised all at the same time.

Silence prevailed over them all for what seemed like eternity before Stellar spoke again. “I wrote Sunburst about it in a letter. I didn’t even hear it from Sunspot himself. I just saw his obituary in the paper. I wanted to tell Sunburst in person, but with everything he’s doing as a crystaller I didn’t want to interrupt his work or ask him to come home when I didn’t think he would anyways.”

Starlight wrapped Sunburst in a hug as tears began to ooze down his face. “I didn't even see the letter, Starlight.” He whispered. “I didn’t even… I stopped reading what she sent me, and I didn’t even know…”

Starlight hugged him. “I’m so sorry…” She didn’t know what else she could say other than that.

Firelight patted Stellar's hoof and gave it a soft squeeze. “You did what you thought was best."

“But was it best for my son, or best for me so that I didn’t have to open a wound that never completely healed?” She asked, searching his eyes for some kind of answer.

Sunburst looked up, trying to communicate to his mother. “But you always did the best for me… Always…”

“I don’t even know what my ex wife is doing. I know she’s somewhere out there, but I’ve never told Starlight that, because if she chose to walk away from her daughter, then why should she deserve a chance to get to know her? I always told Starlight her mother left when she was a baby and I didn’t know where she was. But that was partly a lie. I know she went to Las Pegasus, but that’s all I know. I probably should have told Starlight that at some point before, but I didn’t. Maybe because I didn’t want her to hurt anymore. Or worse, if she ended up having a great relationship with her mother, I would be left the jaded parent. I didn’t want to be that. It was selfish.”

Starlight was amazed and saddened at the admission from her father, and felt herself crying quietly as she and Sunburst held one another to try and get some meager comfort. She’d never even thought to seek out her mother. Her Father had always done everything to try and give her a good life, and she’d never felt like a piece of herself was missing. She’d always had the best Dad. She’d never doubted that for a minute.

Stellar turned to give his hoof a squeeze. “You had your reasons, I’m sure she’ll understand if you decide to tell her.”

“I don’t know how I can tell her. It’s been so long…”

“…And we’ve already made quite a mess of things here.” Stellar Finished.

“Exactly.”

“But you didn’t… We did, because we didn’t tell you sooner.” Starlight said softly. The realization stung.

“Why didn’t we have the courage to tell them?” Sunburst wondered guiltily.

“Because we didn’t want to hurt them.” Starlight answered.

“It’s too late for that now.”

“I guess it is… And I think we hurt ourselves along with them.”

“I think you’re right.” Sunburst sighed.

Stellar sighed and finally sipped at her tea, not really tasting it. “The truth hurts, doesn’t it?”

You said it, Mom… Sunburst thought to himself and he and Starlight pulled themselves together again enough to watch their parents.

“It certainly does. But now that it’s out, maybe we can all grow from it.”

“Maybe…” Stellar thought for a while. “Do you think they’ll forgive us for this?”

“We already have.” Starlight said quietly, even though she knew her father couldn’t hear her.

“We raised two great kids by ourselves. Even if we didn’t do everything right, I think they know how much we love them anyways. I think that’s what children need the most. To know their parents love them unconditionally. We made a lot of mistakes, but our hearts were in the right place. I think they’ll see that. They’re very smart.”

Stellar smiled, a real one this time. “They certainly are.”

Somehow, if you asked him he wouldn’t know how, Sunburst managed to laugh. “I can’t believe they’re bragging about us now.”

“You’re surprised?” Starlight’s lips were tipping up into a hint of a smile.

Sunburst managed a real smile this time. “Not a bit.”

“I’m sorry.” Firelight said suddenly, interrupting the train of thought for the children.

“For…?” Stellar Flare prompted.

“There is a friendship between us, Stellar Flare. The kind that only parents who have raised their children alone have. I’m sorry I didn’t remember that earlier.”

Stellar Flare smiled. “And I’m sorry I called you crazy. If you’re crazy, I guess I am too.”

Firelight smiled back. “At least we’re not alone in that."

“I suppose not.”

Starlight and Sunburst both found themselves smiling to see that their parents at least, had restored their friendship with one another, bittersweet as it was because they did it alone.

Firelight looked at Stellar Flare. “Do you think we should look for them to apologize?”

Starlight and Sunburst tensed at that.

Stellar Flare considered this. “I think it may be best to give them some time on their own to work through things as they need to.”

Firelight nodded. “I think that’s a great idea.”

Sunburst and Starlight let out twin sighs of relief. “I think so too.” Starlight said. “Thank Celestia.”

“We’re really going to have to think of a good apology for them, you know.” Sunburst said.

Starlight sighed. “Yeah. We are.”

“What should we do?”

“I don’t really know… I mean, I feel really terrible for saying this, but I had no idea my Dad was dealing with that, and I never bothered to ask…”

“I’m just as guilty of that as you are, Starlight.” Sunburst admitted. “I can’t believe I didn’t know.”

“It really makes you think, doesn’t it?”

Sunburst nodded. “‘Do we really know our parents as well as we think we do?’ Comes to mind.”

“I’d have to say based on today that answer is a definite no.”

“I’d say you’re right.” Sunburst said quietly.

“I don’t know why I didn’t ask my Dad what was going on in his life. It’s not like he wouldn’t have told me.” Starlight lamented.

Sunburst sighed. “We only see what we want to see, I think. I got so caught up with my own life that I forgot I was basically everything for my mom… No wonder she sent me all those letters every day. But I ignored her because it was easier to do that than be reminded of what I didn’t like about her…” He said guiltily.

“And I avoided my Dad because I didn’t want him treating me like a filly. But the fact was, I was his little filly once, and since I hadn’t come home in all that time… Why would he have thought any different?”

Starlight and Sunburst sighed in unison.

Stellar and Firelight sipped at their tea a few minutes as their children spoke until Stellar sat down her cup, startling their children. “I think I’d best get back over to the Essences table. I do believe my son and yourself made a decent case for me going a bit overboard with the plans for the town’s future, and I think having somepony spray essence in their faces isn’t quite the way to show the town’s spirit.”

“And I should probably clean up the blackboard. No need for a town history lesson when there’s no students to listen to them.”

Starlight and Sunburst began to scramble after that, looking for a place to hide and talk things over. They were still close enough to hear the tail end of the conversation.

Stellar smiled. “Thank you for the tea, Firelight. And the enlightening conversation.”

“You’re welcome. I’m hopeful we could do this from time to time, maybe. Share our struggles with parenting and help each other.”

Stellar smiled. “I’d like that. I’ll make a plan for that if you like. Say once a month?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Stellar Flare got up from her chair and gave Firelight an embrace. “Thank you.”

“Anytime.”

With that, Stellar Flare left the house, and Firelight cleaned up the tea, before wiping down the blackboard with Starlight’s old blanket, where his daughter would find him not long after.

In the few minutes since they’d bolted from Starlight’s home, the two of them had been mulling about what to say. There weren’t words or gestures that seemed big enough to express their feelings. But they both decided to do the best they could with the words they had.

Starlight walked into her father’s home, trepidatious. “Dad?”

Firelight straightened at his daughter’s voice. No matter how much he wanted to hug her, he had to hold back. He wouldn’t hurt her more than necessary. “Hello, Ms. Glimmer. How is your friendship problem search going? I only ask as an interested observer, since I know you are an adult who's capable of doing things without help from anypony else…” His eyes were welling up with tears and he bowed his head.

“Actually... I think Sunburst and I figured out what it is.” She said, going up to her father.

Firelight sighed deeply. “So Stellar and I weren't really helpful after all.”

Starlight looked at him. “Well, we haven't actually solved it. And I don't think we can. Not without you.” She said, lifting his chin. He gave her a wan smile.

Sunburst, meanwhile caught sight of his mother sniffing, spraying, and then hacking at the Essences table.

“Pungent. Ugh.” She said, then saw her son. The sight of him made her want to cry, but she held her composure “Oh. Did you come by to be driven crazy by more of your mother's plans?” She said, turning from him.

“No, I came to apologize.” He said, and his mother turned back around.

Stellar Flare kept up a miffed façade. “Well, it's going to take more than an apology to make up for telling me you don't want my help finding your friendship problem.”

“Oh, I'm not sorry for that. Starlight and I already figured out what the problem is.” Sunburst said immediately, and regretted it when his mother stared at him.

“This is a terrible apology.” She said.

“Well, if you come with me and help fix it, I'll give you a better one.” Sunburst promised, and Stellar finally smiled.

Both Starlight and Sunburst led their parents back to the town square.

Starlight stepped forward. “Usually, Twilight or one of our other friends gets called to a place with a friendship problem to fix.” She began.

“But Starlight and I realized we came here to fix a friendship problem we already had.” Sunburst finished.

Starlight turned to her father. “I’m sorry I've been avoiding coming home, Dad. But you can't keep treating me like a foal.”

Firelight reached out a hoof to her. “I’m sorry, sugarbun.” In that second he caught himself and put down his hoof, half-sighing and half-laughing. "I just know how hard things were for you when you left home. I guess I wanted you to feel safe, like... when you were young.”

Starlight looked at him earnestly. “Dad, I know I've made some mistakes, and I'll probably make a bunch more. But I learn from them. I think that's what growing up is.” She said. She and her father shared a smile.

Sunburst decided that was his moment to speak up. “I'm sorry I never told you how much your plans bothered me, and I know you just want me to succeed. But I need to do that on my own.” He said.

Stellar Flare looked up at him, a wave of painful memories hitting her. “I remember how lost you were when you flunked out of magic school. I thought as long as you had a plan, you'd never feel that way again.” She said, and her son was smiling.

Sunburst looked at her. “You don't have to worry, Mom. I need to find my own way. And I definitely don't feel lost anymore.” He said, before hugging her, with Starlight and her father doing the same.

In that moment, things were perfectly at peace between them all. Even the glowing of their cutie marks did not distract them from the perfection of the moment.

The truth they’d all shared was painful, but they were all stronger for it.