StarShine Apple lays dead on the side of the road as the rain poured down. A red and black paw grabbed him by the neck and dragged him onto a medical table. The red and black fox, General Jo, began work on the stallion, using every medical tool available from scalpels to bonesaws. After a few seconds, Star Phantom was thrown into a chair and strapped down. General Jo turned on a wall of TV's, each one showing a different animated skit. Star tried to look away, but the restraints forced him to watch as the fox laughed maniacally.

Star Phantom Shorts: The Second Edition

Break

Star Phantom was digging a hole, one almost as deep as his height. Once satisfied with the depth, he climbed out, and threw in several objects. Afterward, he buried the hole, and placed a tombstone over it. He flew away, tears in his eyes as his soul filled with grief.

Twilight Sparkle, who was watching nearby, walked up to the grave and read the tombstone.

Here Lies Star Phantom's Hopes and Dreams

“What a baby.” She thought out loud.

Break

General Jo stands before the audience, high above them on the cliff. In his paws, the Luna Phantom ship. He presents it to the cheering masses, and chucks it off the edge.

"It ain't Canon!" He declared before running away in fear and hiding in his secret bunker provided by the SCP Foundation.

Break

Star Phantom points at Scootaloo, panicking. “It's a chicken I tell you, a giant chicken!”

Break

Star Phantom stands on the edge of a cliff. He stares out at the sunset, worry evident on his face.

We're on the edge of greatness. Turning darkness to light.

Luna, and his family, appear next to him, offering silent encouragement.

“We're right beside you.” Ready to fight.

If we're gonna win in the end..!

Several of Star's allies appear, including: Little Strong Heart, Zecora, Luna, Clockwork, and the Background Mares.

We must be strong! We must be brave! (We must be brave.)

Star's enemies gathered into a large crowd, with BlueBlood at the front, and Celestia standing above them all, glaring at the young halfa.

We're gonna find every bit of strength we have and never let it go.
(Oh woah oh!)

Star and BlueBlood clash with their ghost blasts, glaring at each other.

Star kicks him away, and stands alongside his army of friends and allies.

We must be strong!

Break

Jo and Star are standing on top of a giant metal base, when Star spoke up.

“Hey.”

“Yeah?” Jo asks.

“You ever wonder why we're here?”

“A poor excuse of a joke?”

“........... Yeah, sounds about right.”

Jo facepalms. “What the F*** am I doing with my life?”

Break

Diamond Tiara is still frozen from when Star used the Ghost Stare on her. A bird sits on her snout.

Break

Star sits down, meditating in perfect bliss.

Skulker appears and punches him in the snout. The Halfa tumbles to the ground. The griffon gives a thumbs up as the screen changes:

SKULKER WINS 1-0

Break

Big Mac sits between an angry AppleJack and Star Apple. He looks at the two, then shouts.

"I don't know what we're yelling about!"

Break

I love pizza, so much so that I just wanna… wait, this isn't my diary……..

FFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUU-

Break

Star Phantom and his squad of halfas marched into the writing office. General Jo turned around in his swivel chair. “Star Phantom,” he said cheerfully, “I take it Ghost Blood has been taken into custody, then.” The red and black fox raised an eyebrow. “Although, your arrival is sooner than expected…”

“In the name of Equestria and the Spirit Realm,” Star and the other halfas prepare their ecto-blasts, “You’re under arrest, General.”

“Are you threatening me, young halfa?” Jo growled.

“The readers will decide your fate.”

“I. Am. The readers.”

“Not yet.” General Jo stood up, his paws were glowing red. In a flash, a silver sword appeared in his paws.

“It’s treason, then.” He lunged at the halfas, apparently deciding that spinning was a good trick.

Break

BlueBlood: Gee, Galatea, what should we do tonight?

Galatea: The same thing we do every night, BlueBlood. Try to take over the world.

They’re BlueBlood and the Cat. Yes, BlueBlood and the Cat.

One is a halfa, the other's a cat.

To take over the world, they'll hijack this April.

They're Galatea.
Galatea and BlueBlood
BlueBlood BlueBlood BlueBlood BlueBlood BlueBlood BlueBlood BlueBlood BlueBlood.

Meow

Break

Jo sits at his computer screen… that's it. Nothing special. What did you expect? A ninja fight?

Keep reading, this joke is already going too far.

Break

Sunset and Rarity were sitting on towels at the beach. Rarity catches something out in the water, then looks at Sunset with a cheeky grin.

“Look out, I think StarShine Apple likes you.” Sunset raised an eyebrow and looked out to the ocean. She could see Star’s eyes floating above the water, staring back at her.

He stood up, revealing his ripped abs. Sunset stared in awe as the hunk approached her.

I like ‘em big.
I like ‘em chunky. (Chunky)

AJ rolled her eyes while Rainbow Dash drooled.

I like ‘em big.
I like ‘em plumpy. (Plumpy)

Fluttershy did nothing to stop her bleeding nose, Pinkie disappeared a long while ago. Twilight was too busy detecting ecto energy to care.

I like 'em round
With somethin' somethin'

Star stopped in front of Sunset and winked. Then Skulker appeared out of nowhere and punched him in the face.

The Hunter gave a thumbs up and winked at the screen.

SKULKER WINS 2-0

Break

Twilight sat calmly on the grass, enjoying a bowl of vanilla ice cream. All of a sudden, a black and white blue whooshed by, sending her ice cream flying, right into her face.

Star Phantom stood next to her as the unicorn stared straight ahead with a blank expression.

"Meep Meep!" He bleeped and sped off. Twilight didn't move a muscle. The ice cream slowly melted from her face.

Break

General Jo was tossed to the floor, bound in chains. His characters and readers stood around him. They all glared at him with murderous intent. Jo glared back at them.

"General Jo, you have been found guilty of Anti-Shipping behavior. The Fimfiction Court hereby sentences you to be shot!"

Well shit. The Fox is suddenly surrounded by orange rings. He stutters for a few seconds as he stares at the readers.

T-Th-T-T-That's All Folks!

Author's Note

Welp, another April 1st, Come and Gone. Hope y'all enjoyed the small little treat as I finish the next episode. It'll be here soon. I promise.

Thank You and Stay Safe