The Mane Six Trip on Acid
A sheet of paper squares laid on the counter of Sugar Cube Corner, an excited Pinkie Pie standing behind them and rubbing her hooves together in anticipation. Psychedelic artwork of Daring Do, a wide smile on her face, falling into a kaleidoscope of colors adorned the sheet, making it appear more like a painting than what it really was.
“Well, what do you think?” Pinkie said.
“These are… LSD tabs?” Twilight asked.
“Yup!”
Twilight didn’t know what to think. She had researched all sorts of things throughout her life just for the sake of it, and LSD was one of them. They were powerful hallucinogens that altered your sight and thoughts in ways she wasn’t entirely sure of. Maybe said research should’ve been more thorough…
“And how did you get these?”
“Cheese Sandwich gave them to me,” Pinkie said. “He said, ‘If you wanna have a great party, take some of this shit’. I didn’t expect him to be so vulgar, but it sounded fun! So, I invited all of you to try it with me!”
“I don’t know about this, sugarcube,” Applejack said, eyes narrowed warily at the drugs in front of her. “This doesn’t seem very responsible…”
“Heh, what are you, chicken?” Rainbow Dash said. “I’ll take anything you give me, Pinkie! Bring it on!”
“You got it, Rainbow Dash! Three tabs, coming up!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“Rainbow Dash, dear…” Rarity spoke up. “Maybe you should be more cautious about this? What if you have what the foals call a ‘bad trip’? And Pinkie, three seems a tad excessive, don’t you think?”
“You should all pace yourselves,” Fluttershy said with an unusual amount of authority in her voice. “One tab should be fine for the first time. I took three once, and it was too much even for me.”
“Fluttershy?! You’ve taken acid before?” Twilight asked.
“Oh yes, plenty of times. You’ve met my brother, haven’t you?”
“Zephyr Breeze? Oh, right. Yeah, that makes sense.”
Applejack snorted. "Certainly explains why she talks to animals..."
“Never mind that!” Pinkie said. “Are we taking this or what? I wanna party as soon as possible!”
“Pinkie,” Fluttershy said, “LSD isn’t the best choice for a party drug. It lasts eight to twelve hours, and-“
She was interrupted by Pinkie sticking out her tongue, a tab sitting in the center. “Blah! Jutht thtick it on youw tongue evewypony!”
It didn’t take much prodding for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash to take their own. Twilight shrugged, and took one herself. At the very least, she could experience what this was like for herself, in the name of science.
Rarity and Applejack shared an unsure glance.
“Well,” Rarity said, voice shaking. “Might as well join them, I guess?”
Applejack sighed. “I’m gonna regret this aren’t I?”
The six of them sat together, the tabs still sitting in their mouths. They didn’t say anything for a bit, waiting for the paper to dissolve a little before swallowing. Pinkie glanced at the clock, shifting in her seat impatiently.
“When does the party start? Maybe these are duds… Hm, I know! I’ll take another!”
Fluttershy’s eyes widened. “Pinkie, don’t!”
But it was too late.
“Hey, you aren’t beating me today, Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash yelled before also taking a second.
Fluttershy put her face in her hooves. “Dear Celestia, no… They take about an hour to kick in you guys!”
Rainbow shrugged. “Hey, more partying for us, right?”
The usually meek mare became more assertive, completely assured in her knowledge. “I already told you, LSD is not a good party drug!”
“What do you know?”
She scoffed. “I’ve only taken it like 50 times!”
“Guys!” Twilight said. “Calm down! Rarity’s already sweating bullets!”
Rarity was indeed sweating bullets, her eyes flicking back forth across the room. “Girls, help me! I think I’m having that ‘bad trip’!”
“It hasn’t even kicked in yet…” Applejack said with yet another sigh.
Pinkie giggled. “It hasn’t? Funny, I’m starting to feel, well, funny!”
Rainbow Dash burst out laughing at that. “You said funny twice! Hahaha!”
“I did, didn’t I? Hahaha!”
For some reason, Twilight found herself chuckling at that as well. “That wasn’t funny! Why am I laughing?!”
Fluttershy snickered. “On the come up, things always make you laugh. That’s how you know your brain is turning to mush!”
“My brain, haha, turning to mush?! Ha! What have I done?!”
Even the formerly unamused Applejack released a laugh. “Look at Miss Smarty Pants over here, not doing the proper research! Heheh!”
“Oh no…” Rarity said, her giggling much more nervous in nature. “Applejack, you were my rock! Don’t leave me, haha!”
“Don’t worry, Twilight!” Fluttershy assured. “It’s a good thing! Now, get ready to expand you mind!”
Applejack burst out laughing. “Hahahaha! Expand your mind? What in Tartarus are you talking about?!”
“Oh, I’m talking about what an amazing experience this will be. Be prepared to open your third eye, Applejack!”
“Now you’re making even less sense!”
“Guess I was, haha, wrong earlier!” Pinkie said through constant giggles. “These are, hahaha, the opposite of duds!”
That set them all off. As all the girls descended into laughter, unable to say words through the mirth, they all shared looks through teary eyes, some more concerned than others. Rainbow looked to Pinkie, and found space between laughs to release two syllables.
“Oh shit.”
…
“Hello? Twilight, are you in here?!” Spike said, banging on the front doors of Sugar Cube Corner, ignoring the CLOSED sign hanging on the doorknob. Twilight told him Pinkie had summoned them there earlier for ‘an adventure’, but didn’t give any more details besides that. “Princess Celestia sent a letter! Apparently, Tirek has escaped Tartarus, or something! Twilight! Anypony!”
Still nothing. He decided enough was enough, and ignored his manners to barge in uninvited.
“Twilight-“
He cut himself off when he saw what was going on inside. Rarity was in the corner, shaking, sweating heavily and mumbling to herself. A smiling Fluttershy sat next to her, rubbing a comforting hoof on her back, shushing and whispering words in her ear. Applejack and Twilight were sitting on the counter, staring at the wall. Every so often, one of them would mutter a few words.
“Whoa…”
“Look at that!”
“Dude…”
But, to his concern, they were looking at nothing but wallpaper. Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash were laying on the floor, unblinking eyes staring at the ceiling, not saying a word. In the background, a record player was playing some Pony Floyd music from Mr. Cake’s collection he had never heard the six of them listen to before.
None of them seemed to notice his entrance.
“Um, guys?”
All six of them swiveled their heads, finally noticing his presence.
“Oh, Spike!” Twilight said, a crazed look in her eyes. The first thing he observed was how dilated her pupils were. She picked him up and hugged him to her chest. “I love you so much! You’re such an amazing assistant!”
Pinkie gasped. “Guys! Did we ever tell Spike how much we appreciate him? We gotta!”
“Wait, have I ever told Applebloom how much I love her?” Applejack asked.
Rainbow Dash smiled. “I don’t know, but we gotta love ourselves first.”
A confused look crossed Twilight’s face as she finally let go of Spike. “What were we talking about again?”
“I don’t know! Anyway, look at this cupcake!” Pinkie said as she put one on the counter.
“It’s so colorful!” Rainbow Dash said with a gasp.
“…Guess I should tell Celestia to wait?” he asked. The four of them left him behind as all their attention went to the baked good. It was a simple pink cupcake with rainbow sprinkles on the top, he didn’t see the big deal. As Pinkie gasped and pointed out that Rainbow Dash’s mane was just as colorful, he sighed and went to leave.
A hoof grabbed his shoulder. “Spike, wait!”
It was Fluttershy, her eyes just as dilated as the others, but her demeanor much calmer.
“At least you seem sane, Fluttershy. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
She smirked, a devilish smirk he rarely saw from her, and held out her hoof, a small, colorful piece of paper in the center. “Do you want to find out?”
He picked it up and looked it over. “This’ll… make me act like they were acting?”
“Oh, yes. Just place it on your tongue, and you'll know exactly what's going on!”
He looked to the others. Rarity was still hugging herself in the corner, but the rest were all staring at Rainbow’s mane, occasionally giggling to themselves. Barring his crush, it seemed like they were all having fun.
“Hmm. Why not? Tirek can wait!”
Fluttershy laughed as he put the paper on his tongue.
“You’re gonna have one hell of a trip!”
“...Hell? What’s that?”
Author's Note
I'm proud of this momentous literary achievement.
