There are degrees of truth in this world. Many things are true, but that does not mean they are all equally true. For instance, it is true that gravity makes unrestrained objects fall at 9.8 meters/second2, and it is also true that Pinkie Pie likes ice cream. But as there are times when even Pinkie does not feel like ice cream, while gravity rarely takes a break, the second truth is less true than the first. It has less substance; less solidity.
This story is about six truths, one for each of the bearers of the Elements of Harmony.
Pinkie’s truth is that she said, “Let’s have a costume party!” This is the deepest level of truth, the most solid, the objective level, for she did in fact utter those exact words.
Rarity’s truth is that she suggested, “Spike has wanted to be a knight for so long. Applejack, you two could do a tandem costume! You could be his steed.” This is mostly true, for she did not use those exact words, but did suggest the general idea.
Twilight’s truth is that she made a costume set for them both. Applejack had barding and a battle-saddle, Spike had a lance and a feathered helm. It is here that the truths pick up a degree of uncertainty, for she did not make the whole thing herself, but purchased several components.
Spike’s knightley attire included spurs, a detail that Twilight missed when putting his costume together. He leapt on Applejack’s back and, quite unintentionally, dug the spurs into her side.
Applejack’s truth is this: she liked it.
“Hey uh… RD.” Applejack took her hat off, holding it against her chest. “I need you to do me a favor.”
“Oh, really?” Rainbow fluttered down to Applejack’s side. They were out in the orchard, all alone, and even Rainbow could tell that Applejack had arranged this moment by choice. Already, AJ was blushing, unable to meet Rainbow’s eyes.
Rainbow’s truth is this: she loves having Applejack at a disadvantage. How much substance there is to this truth remains to be seen.
“Yeah, uh… it’s a mite… you know.” Applejack cleared her throat. “You said once you uh, felt that way, about mares, and if I ever felt that way, you’d ask me out. I remember that right?”
“What, really?” Rainbow Dash hid her smile with a hoof for a moment, but only for a moment. Then she let it show, and started to laugh: “Really?”
“Don’t see what’s so funny about it.” AJ’s blush deepened to a dark red, and she scratched at the ground with a hoof.
“I was yanking your chain is what’s funny about it! I didn’t think in a million years you liked mares.” Rainbow savored the moment, AJ’s body so tense she couldn’t stand still. She shifted her hooves up and down, like the ground was hot. “Still… I mean. I did promise.”
“And I need you to take me out on a specific kind of date.” AJ said. “You know… show me a good time. Kind of thing. That’s why it’s a favor and uh…”
“Aww. AJ, AJ, AJ.” Rainbow took to the air, slowly circling her a few feet above the ground. “I get it. You’ve discovered some things about yourself and you’re still struggling to come to terms with them. And I’m the pony you’re most comfortable experimenting with. Is that about right?”
“Yeah,” Applejack admitted, her mouth drawing out into a grimace, “That’s about right.”
“Well!” Rainbow came to a stop, hovering right in front of Applejack’s face. “Then I will be proud to be your guide to the love that dares not speak its name. It’s a fine pegasus tradition. And trust me, I’m way better than any stallion.” Then she rested her hoof on AJs shoulders. “So tell me about this specific kind of date you need.”
Applejack opened up her saddlebags, and pulled out a riding crop. “I need you to hit me with this real hard.”
Rainbow stared at the riding crop. Then at Applejack. Then back to the crop. Then back to Applejack. “Um…”
“I mean if you’re not okay with it-”
“No no. I’m… totally, okay with it.” Slowly, she took the crop in her teeth. “That’s a… normal thing to ask for. Between two girls.”
“Okay.” Applejack swallowed. “Um, do you want to get dinner and a movie first, or…?”
“I mean, we’re out here in the fields. It’s a nice day.” Rainbow regretted saying it at once. Gritting her teeth around the handle, she asked. “Is there a specific… place, you want me to hit you?”
“I mean,” Applejack paused, thinking the matter over, “not the face.”
“Right, obviously, but like…”
“I don’t know. What part of my body do you like the most?”
“I guess your hindquarters are pretty nice. And your flanks.” Rainbow looked at Applejack. “You want to… kiss, first?”
“Um. Sure.” They kissed, once. It was nice enough. Then, Rainbow tapped Applejack’s flanks with the riding crop.
AJ cleared her throat. “A mite harder, please?” The second tap was firmer. “That couldn’t have killed a fly.” The third tap was pretty much the same as the second. And then AJ groused, “It’s a whip, Rainbow, not a gesturing stick. Put some crack into it.”
So Rainbow cracked her neck, wound up with the crop, and brought it down as fast as she could. There was a whistle in the air, ending with a loud snap. A welt appeared on Applejack’s flanks, and she shook. She shook like a leaf in the wind.
“Oh my goodness,” she mumbled. Still shivering, she sunk to the ground head first. Head down, tail raised, hips high in the air. Her breath came in quick, hot pants. “Gimme one more of those, would you?”
The air whistled, the crop snapped, and Applejack let out a deep and abiding groan. “Rainbow,” she eeked out the words. “I think you could do just about anything you wanted to me right now.”
What Rainbow wanted to do was pick Applejack up and have a long, productive chat about boundaries in their relationship, and also how much cider she’d have to drink to forget any of this ever happened. But she sensed that wasn’t what Applejack really meant.
So after a moment, she lifted the crop again.
After they were done, Applejack kissed her for real. She kissed like she meant it, hot and close and passionate. She curled into Rainbow’s side, and made a blanket out of a wing.
“Thank you so much,” she says, happy and tired and sore all at once. “I don’t know… well. I don’t know what I’d have done without you, Rainbow. I was so scared of ponies making fun of me, or gossiping, or who knows what. I know it seems silly, but you being there, it meant the world to me. It really did. I feel more comfortable in my own skin than I have in a long time.”
“Oh.” Rainbow looked off at the orchard. “Yeah, sure. Um… anytime.”
“Anytime is right.” AJ let out a contented sigh. “I’m never going to make fun of your dating habits again.”
“Yes this was great and super fun and I came lots and it wasn’t weird at all.”
“Next week, maybe?”
In Rainbow Dash’s head, what she said was, listen AJ I really feel like you’ve got some issues you’re working through, and I’m not your therapist, which is good because a doctor and patient doing what we just did is a crime.
What she said was, “Sure, you know, whatever.”
Then the voice in her head called her a coward.
Next Monday, Applejack caught Rainbow Dash on her way through town, dragged her off into a shadowy alley, and handed her the riding crop again. Such a noise she made. Passing ponies thought it was two cats fighting.
Wednesday, when Applejack pulled Rainbow down from her cloud, Rainbow explained that they should probably hold off. After all Applejack’s flanks were getting really red, and they didn’t want to inflict any permanent scarring.
“That’s mighty thoughtful of you, Rainbow,” Applejack says, giving her a warm kiss on the cheek. “And of course, you’re right.”
That’s when she pulled out the dog collar and leash.
On Friday, Rainbow said that she really felt like a normal date. So they were a couple, she said, not just bedroom buddies. Applejack thought that was a wonderful idea. They had a lovely dinner, went for a romantic walk, and then saw a movie.
The movie was about the Romane Empire, and Applejack smiled during the parts where the slaves got whipped. She smiled all the way out of the theater, up the street, and into the nearest bushes in the darkened park.
On Sunday, she said, “Rainbow, I think I’m falling in love with you.”
And Rainbow said, “Wow, look at my ankle, I gotta go,” and bolted towards the castle.
“Twilight!” Rainbow shouted, bursting in through the window. “I need to know how to dump a pony without breaking their heart, particularly when that pony owns a remarkable amount of torture equipment.”
Twilight looked up from what she was doing. What she was doing was having tea with Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, Princess Cadence, Shining Armor, and her parents.
Cadence looked at Luna. Luna looked back. “What?” Luna asked.
“Do I have to take these every time?”
“You’re the Princess of Love!” Luna cast her hoof to the ceiling, using a lot of breath to show her outrage.
“I’m in a happily monogamous relationship with the only stallion I’ve ever kissed. You’re a shapeshifter who’s done half of Canterlot. You objectively know more about breakups than I do.”
“Fine,” Luna put down her teacup. “Rainbow Dash, I suggest turning into a different pony until your estranged paramour ceases to look for you. Failing that, fake your own death.”
Twilight looked at Celestia. Celestia looked at Cadence. Cadence groaned and pushed herself up from the table. “Fine!”
“Sorry about this,” Twilight said to her parents. Her parents understood. For their parts, Rainbow and Cadence walked out onto the balcony.
“Okay,” Cadence said. “What happened?”
“So…” Rainbow hesitated. “I have this friend. Who has this fetish. Which isn’t bad or anything, but it’s super weird and she’s super embarrassed about it. And I hit on her, like as a joke because I didn’t think she’d say yes. But she did, and I agreed to go along with her… thing. And her thing isn’t my thing. And I don’t even like her thing! But I can tell she really really does like her thing. And today she said she loves me because I’m the only pony who understands her and I need out.”
“Oh, Rainbow…” Cadence drew a hoof down her face. “You know sex and love aren’t the same thing, right?”
“Duh.”
“Does your friend?”
“Yes, she just…” Rainbow bit her lip. “I think she’s a little head over heels right now, you know? The whole time I’ve known her, she’s been kind of pent up. And I’m starting to suspect this is why. And maybe it’s all too much for her. But I can’t keep doing this and I can’t break her heart.”
“I’m sorry, Rainbow, but like it or not you’re in a relationship with this mare.” Cadence put a hoof on Rainbow’s shoulder. “A relationship that to her is very serious. Even if she is being unreasonable, even if she is being overly emotional, you’re the one that lead her on. You lied to her. And now you need to go be honest. You need to have a talk about what this relationship means to you.”
“But I don’t want to be in a relationship with her.” Rainbow whined. “She’s… I mean. She’s hot, yeah, but I don’t think of her that way. I only want to be friends.”
Cadence shrugged. “Then that’s what you need to tell her.”
“Ponyville is a small town, Cadence!” Rainbow snapped, a bit of hot anger rising into her voice. “Do you know how many gay mares there are in this town? Two. Lyra and Bon Bon. And they’re in a relationship! If I couldn't fly to Cloudsdale, I couldn’t date at all. And my friend doesn’t have wings. If I tell her, ‘yeah, I’m not into that’ I’m telling her, ‘sorry, but you never get to date again.’”
“There’s more than two, but I get your point.” Cadence sighed. “Look, Rainbow, if you want me to help find your friend a date, I’m happy to help. Everypony is meant for somepony. But drawing this lie out won’t make anything better.” She leaned down so she could look Rainbow in the eye. “Would your friend want you to lie to her?”
“Hah. No. No…” Rainbow rubbed the back of her head. “Kind of the opposite.”
“There you go. Just be honest. Tell her she means a lot to you, but not in that way.”
“Mmph.” Rainbow nodded once. “You really think you can find somepony for her?”
“Everypony was meant for somepony.” Cadence smiled gently. “I said that and I meant it.”
“Her fetish is…” Rainbow hesitated. “Different. Though.”
“Can you tell me? I can see you care a lot about her privacy, but I promise, I won’t spread anything around.”
“She’s into…” Rainbow bit her lip. “Whips.”
“Oh.” Cadence frowned. She tilted her head to the side. “I thought you said she didn’t have wings.”
“She doesn’t.” It was Rainbow’s turn to frown. “Wait, who in Ponyville has wings and is into whips?”
“Oh, Celestia…” Applejack groaned. Her whole body shuddered like she was having a seizure. “Oh, please stop. Please stop.”
“Did I tell you you could talk you stupid mudpony!?” Fluttershy’s whip sang like a flute as it flew through the air, and cracked like a thunderbolt under Applejack’s tail.
Applejack shrieked. She screamed. Her eyes went wide and her voice cracked with the force. Fluttershy gripped AJ’s hair in her teeth, forcing her down to the hard floor, and into her ear she whispered: “Just remember, the safeword is ‘monkey.’”
“I know,” Applejack whispered back. “Thanks, beautiful.”
“You call me ‘master’ you ugly bitch!” Fluttershy snarled, kicking AJ hard in the gut.
Fluttershy’s truth is this: she has some serious issues. And perhaps, at least from Rainbow’s and Applejack’s perspective, that’s all for the best.
