Frenemies... With Benefits

by Jade Ring

Rating: teen
Tags: Sex, Comedy, Queen Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Tirek
Length: 1380

Cozy Glow walks in on her comrades "wrestling." Awkwardness ensues.

Cozy Glow walks in on her comrades "wrestling." Awkwardness ensues.

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Rated Teen for Innuendo.

Cover art borrowed from arareroll.

*For posterity's sake, let it be known that when My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic ended it's initial run on October 12, 2019, this story was #2 in the Featured Box.*

Published 2019-10-12 06:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-12 06:20:02 UTC

Wrestling

The common dining area of the structure that Grogar referred to as the ‘Palace of Doom’ was silent, the air filled with tense energy and an almost palpable nervousness. Three figures, Equestria’s greatest threats, sat around the room’s sole stone table. Two of the figures, the larger ones, sat side by side on the one side of the table. The third, the smallest, was seated on the opposite side.

It was Cozy Glow who spoke first. She focused her gaze on her two compatriots, even as they pointedly looked away from each other. “So… you were wrestling?”

“Yes. Wrestling.” Lord Tirek muttered, nodding his head sagely, his large forearms folded across his chest. “For dominance.” He glanced at the changeling beside him. “Isn’t that right?”

“Of course we were. What else could we have been doing?” Queen Chrysalis cut her eyes at the centaur for only an instant, and then she resumed staring a hole through the wall.

Cozy Glow looked back and forth between the pair. “You’re acting weird.”

“I’ll not have my behavior mocked by one such as you!” Chrysalis snapped, turning her attention to the pegasus filly. “You know what’s weird? Going into someone’s room without knocking.”

“I needed to talk to Tirek about our plans with the bell.” Cozy Glow rolled her eyes. “How was I supposed to know that you two were… busy.”

“Busy wrestling.” Tirek added.

“Wrestling. Right. Got it.”

Chrysalis glared at the filly. “There was clearly a sock hanging on the door-knob.”

The pink filly stared at the changeling. “…which means what, exactly? That Tirek is really bad at laundry?” She cut her eyes at the centaur. “Why do you have socks anyway?”

“…I’m allowed to feel comfortable from time to time.”

“The sock hanging off the door-knob is a time honored symbol that the individuals behind said door are busy f… wrestling.” Chrysalis snapped. “It’s common courtesy to at the very least knock when you see a sock on someone’s door!”

“We’re the three greatest villains in Equestrian history!” Cozy Glow threw her hooves in the air. “Since when do we care about courtesy?!” She pointed at herself. “Also; I’m just a kid. How am I supposed to know anything about ‘time honored symbols?’”

“In hindsight, this all could’ve been avoided if you’d let me lock the door.” Tirek muttered in Chrysalis’ direction.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” Chrysalis snarled. “I don’t recall you saying anything at the time.”

“My mouth was occupied!”

“So was mine!”

“Occupied with what?” Cozy Glow interjected.

“With verbal challenges to a wrestling match!” Tirek nearly roared at the filly. “For evil’s sake, Cozy Glow, try to keep up!”

“I’m trying!” The filly’s wings buzzed in irritation. “But you two are acting super weird! I know Chrysalis is upset because she was losing, but that’s no excuse…”

“I’m sorry, what?” Chrysalis raised an eyebrow. “I was not losing.”

Cozy Glow blinked slowly. “Then why was Tirek on top of…?”

“Because I allowed him to be!” Chrysalis nearly screamed, the faintest trace of a blush on her exoskeleton. “If you’d have walked in a few minutes earlier, then you would’ve seen me on top.” She saw Tirek’s expression and recovered quickly. “Because it was a two out of three falls match!”

“Exactly!” Tirek nodded frantically. “All villainous wrestling matches for dominance are two out of three falls. It’s the only way to be fair.”

Cozy Glow frowned and looked back and forth between the pair. “So… who won?”

“I did. I won.” Chrysalis chanced a smirk at the centaur across from her. “Twice.”

Tirek returned the smirk. “Really?”

Cozy Glow tapped the table to regain their attention. “So… Chrysalis won two of the three falls? Am I on the right track?”

“More or less.” Tirek grunted.

“So… she won the contest of dominance. Does that mean she’s in charge now?”

Chrysalis grinned. “Of course I am. I am a queen, after all.”

“Then… if you’d already won, why were you on the bottom?”

“…Lord Tirek is a sore loser.” Chrysalis chuckled at the look on Tirek’s face.

“So, correct me if I’m wrong, but does that mean that I could challenge you for dominance…?”

“No!” Both Chrysalis and Tirek stated emphatically.

“Aw, but I thought we were all in this together…” Cozy Glow pouted.

“Wrestling for dominance is for adults only, Cozy Glow.” Tirek said as gently as he could to the young villain.

“But why?”

“It’s complicated.” Tirek reached out and patted his recently adopted daughter-figure on the head. “I’ll explain everything when you’re older.”

“Promise?” Cozy Glow smiled under the paternal attention.

“I promise.” Tirek returned the smile before looking back over at Chrysalis. “We both will.”

Chrysalis snorted and rolled her eyes before ultimately nodding in acquiescence.

Satisfied for the moment, Cozy Glow looked to the former queen of the changelings. “I’m sorry I came in without knocking.”

Chrysalis considered the apology before nodding her head. “Just make sure you knock next time. Just because we’re evil doesn’t mean we can’t have good manners.”

“Next time?” Cozy Glow cocked her head in confusion. “Are you guys gonna be wrestling again?”

“Oh yes. Quite soon, too.” Tirek grinned at Chrysalis. “I haven’t won yet, remember? And I’m a… what did you call me Chrysalis? Oh yes; a sore loser.”

“Anytime, anyplace.” Chrysalis bared her teeth, only her hooded eyes and vibrating wings betraying her true excitement.

“Well, I’m going to go over that spell book some more.” Cozy Glow’s wings lifted her into the air and she floated off towards her room. She looked back at Tirek. “Story later?”

“Of course.” Tirek waved at her as she flew down the passage. When he heard her door shut at last, he turned his gaze to Chrysalis. “That was too close.”

Chrysalis chuckled. “I don’t understand the need for such subterfuge. Why should we care if the parasite caught us?”

“Because the ‘parasite’ sees me as a father-figure now. If she knew what we were actually up to, it would complicate things. Especially for you. She might get it in her head that you could be a potential mother-figure, and we both know you don’t want that…”

“And how do you know that?” Chrysalis asked casually.

Tirek looked at her sharply. “Oh please. You clearly hate her.”

“So did you, if I recall.” Chrysalis stared at the table. “But… I don’t know. Maybe she’s growing on me. Maybe… maybe I miss feeling like a mother.”

Tirek reached across the table and took the changeling’s chin in his hand. He turned her face to his and smiled gently. “You didn’t come to me for simple pleasure, did you?”

“Of course not.” Chrysalis smirked. “I was hungry, too. Centaur love tastes just as sweet as any other creature’s.”

Tirek growled as he pulled the changeling’s face closer to his own. “You aren’t the first queen I’ve bedded, you know.”

“I know.” Her tongue darted out and touched his lips before she snapped her fangs at him. “But I will be the last.”

“That rematch may come sooner than you expected, your majesty.” The centaur whispered roughly. “I haven’t won yet, remember?”

“Like I told you before, Lord Tirek.” Chrysalis could taste his breath now. “Anytime. Anyplace.”

“Right here.” Tirek’s eyes narrowed. “Right now.”

Their lips met in a blaze of furious passion. Chrysalis squealed as she was lifted from her seat and lowered to the table’s surface. Her hooves encircled the centaur as his hands travelled across her body, pulling her closer and tighter against him. Their kisses became that much more heated as they moved together, aligning their bodies until…

“Hey guys! I just found something in the book that might help us and…” Cozy Glow mouth snapped shut as she froze at the room’s threshold. She took a step back from the piercing gazes of the two older villains on the table. “You can’t be mad. There’s no door to knock on…”

“I’ll knock on your door, you little brat!” Chrysalis cried, blasting out from under Tirek and giving chase as the filly screamed and bolted back the way she came.

Tirek sat heavily back in his seat, huffing in irritation as he rested his face in his hands. “I’ll win next time.” He muttered. “Next time.”