My name is Discord. I'm a being of chaos. For as long as chaos exists, I exist, and with the balance of Harmony, it will always exist with this realm. If chaos dies, harmony dies. If harmony dies, chaos dies. There has to be balance. And for as long as this realm exists, I’m confident that I will exist.
I have existed far longer than anyone else in this realm. I have seen a lot. I've not perfect memory, there's only so much I've been given, I've had to forget stuff. I only remember the important stuff. Like the beginning, my defeat two times over. And my change. I remember her. And I'm not sure if I want to. What happens when everyone else forgets? Would she have ever existed? I want to forget but I can't.
“Discord, please. You knew this day would come. Just, not in front of me right? I don’t want my final moments to be like this.”
Her pleading eyes looked up at me. So old, yet, the same eyes that I met those years ago.
“Is it not right for one to be sad, in this situation?”
“I’m… not saying you can’t be sad… I just want you to, not be pulled down too much. I know it’s silly, but… maybe it will work?”
Trust Fluttershy to be the one to ignore death. Her critters have come and gone more faster and in larger quantities than I bet anyone else could imagine. But I’m not Fluttershy. When I care… I care, a lot.
“Do you really have to go?”
It was a stupid question, dumb. But I had to ask it anyway. Maybe something stronger than I would have come down and saved her. Maybe...
“You know I have to. Every creature has to sleep sometime. Including me. But, you will come for me one day, will you?”
Her half open eyes stared right into mine. It seemed like there was less there, more fading by the moment, but she was still there, enough. I grabbed her left hoof with my paw.
“I… I will. I’ll find you.”
She turned to look at me for a moment, before her head fell back facing up. With her last action, she closed her eyes, removing herself from the realm. I too, closed my eyes, hoping hard that maybe there was something that could be done. But no amount of chaos could help me here.
I’ve heard that sleep is sometimes a refuge from the real world. Creatures dream when they’re asleep, and it is in that state that their imagination is the most active. Of course, such imagination with some influence can cause the effects they cause nightmares. I wouldn’t truly know, for I don’t need to sleep, I can’t sleep. Why would a being whose existence is in tune with the realm need to sleep? The realm doesn’t need to sleep, so why would I?
You’d expect, with me being the ‘lord of chaos’ that there would be a lord of harmony as well. Someone else who I could possibly share my life with, even if they are supposed to be the opposite of me. I’ve had suspicions on who could be such a figure. Maybe it’s not just one but a group. The Princesses of Day and Night, but that would be too much. Maybe the elements of Harmony. Perhaps it’s the tree that created those. But the tree didn’t exist for nearly as long as I have. Maybe the answers so obvious, but I still haven’t found it yet. It’s this strive that kind of keeps me ‘awake’ as they would say.
There was a moment where I had a plan. A plan to end it all. A plan to end my existence. It would have worked.I would overload the chaos, disrupt the balance and essentially destroying harmony And with that, the realm. But part of me didn’t want to go through with it completely. Did all these creatures deserve to die just because I wanted to? No. It may have looked like I was evil, and with the exterior attitude at the time I would have. It took me a while longer to realise what I truly felt. And if they had not defeated me, who’s to say I would have actually done it?
They’re not around anymore. She’s not around anymore. It was a long time ago. The realm has changed so much, it could baffle anyone who wasn’t there to witness it. I don’t really have to do much anymore. The balance occurs by itself. Is there much point in my existence? I could end it all now, just like I wanted to back then. But it would be a shame to end it now. But with the way things are going, when do I end it? Unless everything grinds to a halt and everyone else begs me to stop everything, there will never be a right moment for me to do it.
So I have to keep going. Be the Lord of Chaos that will always exist. The one to keep the balance in check. For without, my life, there won’t be any other life.
“You called for me?”
“Discord… I… I wanted to know... “ She turned around to face me. Her face was different from yesterday. It was all strong then. Confident. The traits that an admirable leader would have. But maybe if I had looked deeper then… I might have really seen it.
“How do you do it Discord? You’ve lived for as long as the Sisters have. Perhaps even longer. How do you live watching everything go by you, while you remain?”
Twilight Sparkle. The second dynasty of Equestria. If that’s even the right thing to say for Alicorns. They live for a very long time. But it’s fortunate enough, that they do not live forever. Not by default that is. I could say that as long as Twilight doesn’t do anything radical, she will meet her fate one day. I have a hint of an idea as to what could happen… but I wouldn’t let it.
“You really want to know?”
Her teary eyes glistened up at me. If I was on the ground, then she wouldn’t have to. My default size has never changed since the beginning. “Please Discord, if you have a secret, than, you have to tell me. I can’t run a kingdom like this.”
She was partially right, it was impossible to run a kingdom with dire immortality. It’s part of the reason I never really upheld much of a leadership. But she doesn’t have dire immortality. No amount of advice could aid such a situation like this.
“I don’t.”
Author's Note
I'm not really sure how I feel about this. It's a concept that I like, but... maybe if I had more time to work on it, with some breaks for rejuvenation, but then I probably wouldn't ever get it out. It's the first thing I've published in ages. Part of me feels like I shouldn't drag this out anyway.
This is written for the No Author Left Unnoticed First Prompt. One that stubbed me at first, before realising that I could do this. May or may not be inspired by another fic I read. I feel like it might, but I can't remember.
