Equestrian Madness

Equestria was such a colorful place, everything was so bright and lively, enough to make Dismas feel something in his guts. The animals were much friendlier than the rodents back in Hamlet.

Wild dogs inflicted with the plague and other diseases, all rabid and beyond saving, venomous snakes who thirsted for blood, and rabbits corrupted by vengeful spirits. Pigs. All of that did not prepare Dismas for what he encountered next.

Just before he entered a town, a kind and lovable cow approached his party. It was attracted to him for some mysterious reason.

Though there were many bovines such as this cutie patootie, something about it was different. He looked into its eyes and saw something he lacked, it was light. This animal in this strange land had more soul than him, perhaps he lost himself a long time ago, it would be saddening if he was not a cold-blooded killer.

This bright and wonderful land felt so warm and welcoming. It was as if he was once again a child filled with hope and no care in the world.

And yet, this town reminded him of his own reality.

This place felt grey, especially the inhabitants. All of which were ponies just like Berry Punch, but there was an odd aura around these ponies. Something that reminded Dismas of home. Though seeing unicorns and pegasi would be surprising to most, the humans were more curious than shocked to see such creatures. What bothered them was the lack of any fellow humans.

As his party followed Berry through town, the ponies would send a fearful glance their way, a few ran and hid which only added more questions to the pile.

As he walked further into town, a strange stench reached his nose, the others sans Paracelsus noticed it as well. A coppery stench, though it was barely there, none of them could ignore it. That's when they saw it, an alleyway just next to the farmer's market blocked off by yellow tape. None of them understood why there was tape at all, but they simply guessed that it was meant to keep civilians away. There were some ponies in golden armor, they gave Dismas and his group a glare as they passed by.

This was odd, outside the town they were met with nothing but colorful joys of the world, but here, they came across something that's all too natural to them.

Opting to focus more on their own business, the humans remained silent as they continued following Berry Punch around.

Again, he questioned even more. This town acted as if they had just received their first murder. That scene replayed in Dismas' head, he remembered it so clearly even though it was just a passing glance.

A body, torn apart by some kind of animal leaving a corpse that was beyond recognition. But in truth, it wasn't an animal, the way it was done was far more careful from the way the pony was killed. Amateur at best, if it was him he'd make it clean, then he would dump it somewhere no one could find. He had seen such gruesome sights before, but somehow this one stayed in his mind.

Soon, Berry brought the humans to a small house, it looked like the ones they saw during their walk through town. Nothing about it was notable, except for the smell. It reminded them too much of the tavern back at Hamlet, and somehow it got the Vestal all flustered just standing.

"Welcome to my humble abode!" Berry kicked the door open and gestured them in.

"We asked you to take us to the town hall, mutant, not your home." Reynauld sneered.

"Oh, I forgot to tell you that the town hall is closed for a private meeting!" She informed them.

"What for?"

"Is it that murder back at that alley?" Dismas questioned after Reynauld.

Berry tilted her head to the side. "Murder? But they said it was a timberwolf attack. The second one to be in fact."

Dismas wanted to laugh. "Guess they don't want you all to panic, I know a murder when I see one, the Houndmaster would say the same, and he's as good as a detective as Tardif."

Paracelsus hummed loudly. "Is this perhaps the first two murders in this town?"

Berry shook her head wildly. "Yes... But, no... It's a timberwolf attack, the mayor would never lie!"

"Denial is natural, but if what you say is right, that this murder is indeed the second. I fear that it won't be the last." Paracelsus turned on heel and walked back towards where they came from. When the others questioned her, she simply told them that she was just looking for the hospital.

Reynauld, not wanting to waste his time in someone's house decided to follow the doctor. He told the others that they would stay there and wait, while he looked for a map.

Dismas shrugged his shoulders, he cared not what they do, he wanted to relax and nothing more. So without further adieu, Berry ushered her two guests into her home. As expected, there were bottles everywhere, and the smell was just as bad inside, so much that Junia opened the windows without asking permission. She had to go through bottles that were either empty, full, or between.

He ignored the Vestal and went straight over to the couch, he let out a sigh of relief as he plopped down and finally relaxed after a whole morning of walking. He grabbed a random bottle and popped the cork, he pulled down his scarf and drank to his heart's content.

"So, I never had humans over before! What do you guys want to eat?" Berry asked.

"Got any meat?"

Berry froze once Dismas asked that question. "M-meat, you guys are carnivores?"

"Omnivores," Junia corrected. "but our kind has leaned over to meat for sustenance, mostly because we have thousands of livestock, and pigs are easy to care for since they mostly eat scraps."

"Yeah, and beef is far too expensive these days. Prices are just getting higher, I'd be surprised if I have to pay a limb for a single cut." Dismas joked.

"W-we don't have meat here, I don't know anyone who would sell such things..." Berry explained nervously.

"But you're lying," He began as he eyed her up and down. "there is meat around."

Berry noticed that strange look in his eyes, and it was far worse than before. Her body froze under his gaze, she could only shiver in fear as Dismas brandished his knife.

"Dismas!" Junia quickly scolded the Highwayman. "Don't scare the poor thing, after all the help she gave us!"

The thief laughed as he returned his knife to its place. "Joking, joking!"

"Oh, you were just joking!" Berry laughed awkwardly with him. "Y-yeah, I was totally not scared or fooled!"

Junia waited until the two to stop their laughter, once done, she turned towards their host and smiled warmly. "So, what do you ponies eat?"

"Well, I'm not sure if you guys can eat what I have, so I think you two should follow me into the kitchen." Berry said.

The two agreed, Dismas was sure they wouldn't have a problem, but it was best to check, nothing wrong with that. The two followed the pony and found themselves in more mess, bottles of alcohol, just like the living room.

"Junia!" Dismas gasped, his eyes bulged out of their sockets.

"I-I see!"

Berry looked at them both confusedly, she couldn't believe what she was seeing, the two humans were astounded by a refrigerator. The two approach it as if they are fearful of it, their every step was slow and careful. Once they reached the machine, they both froze before it. That's when she realized it, it wasn't the fridge that got them acting strange, it was her spice rack next to it. They were completely enamored by her collection, the two couldn't stop themselves from examining the spices as if they were gold.

"Berry, are you a duchess of sorts!?" Junia exclaimed as she presented a bottle of dried bay leaves.

"To think we got the blessings to meet not only an alcoholic but someone who's loaded!" Dismas smiled from ear to ear. "To think our host is so generous to allow us into their home, not only that, but she's so humble! I mean, look at this place, no servant to clean up, such an independent woman!"

"Bet Audrey would be jealous!" Junia giggled into her palm.

"Just what I was thinking!"

"Um..." Berry shuffled awkwardly on the spot. "I'm not rich or anything, I just have spices..."

"What do you mean?" Dismas was in denial. "No one could have this much spice without spending a limb or two!"

"It's common for every household to have spice racks. Pepper, salt, paprika, and more. You can buy these anywhere, and for cheap prices as well."

The two couldn't believe what they were hearing, back from where they came from, salt was the only thing anyone could get their hands on. Spices were expensive due to the fact they're mostly found in other countries, such as India. Transport and delivery are one thing, but safety is important. Bandits would prey on these caravans that carried valuable exports, many companies that were involved had to resort to hiring guards to protect their products. In the end, spices are expensive, and one would be lucky to find a good deal.

So once they heard that it was a different story in this town, Dismas and Junia were in a state of denial. The only times they had the privilege to endure themselves on meals blessed by the best chef on Hamlet, was when they found the Ancestor's secret stash. The feast that day gave strength to the mercenaries and allowed them to take on the horrors of the lands.

"W-where are we?" Dismas couldn't help but ask.

"Have any of you guys heard of Equestria?" Berry said.

"No, where is that on the map? Europe, Asia, or America?"

Confused, Berry furrowed her brows. "I have never heard of those before..."

The two looked at each other, their denial became distressed as they began to fear for the worse. Gone was their enthusiasm for discovering the spices, Dismas wanted to believe that he could possibly be wrong. There was still hope within the darkness.

Though everything wasn't right, there was still the odd feeling that stuck with him ever since he first took a step on Hamlet, and that was the uneasy feeling of dread.

There was only one way to know for sure, a single question that would decide their fate.

"No, we cannot let you through!" The guard prevented Reynauld and Paracelsus from entering the morgue.

The two had followed the guards to the funeral home where they brought the corpse in, there were guards around the entrance but the humans simply barged in without question. Paracelsus wanted to take the chance to examine the pony biology and could not wait for another, the best part was that there were two inside. Now against one final door to new discoveries, the two were surrounded by guards in gold.

"I assure you all, as a professional doctor I am also a coroner. With my help, this case of yours will be solved before you even know it!"

"You griffins and whatever that guy is have nothing to do with this, don't make me use force!" The pony threatened them.

Reynauld had enough of their squabble, he grabbed the guard by the throat and slammed them against the wall. The others froze upon his aggression, his appearance helped with that as well, Reynauld was armored head to toe. And he carried that large sword around like nothing.

He was taller than them too, the Crusader could crush them easily. As for the Plague Doctor, she was the most intimidating one of the two. The lenses of her mask were devoid of any light, to them, she was like a soulless creature that lurked in their nightmares.

"We were sent here by the crown to investigate this murder, and my colleague is qualified for the job. She was handpicked by their majesty among many others who were not so lucky. Allow us entry, or I punish you, heathen." Reynauld's grip tightened causing the guard to squirm. And to show that he was serious, he flashed a badge before pocketing it.

Left with no other choice, the ponies relented and gave way to the two humans. Happy and prideful, Paracelsus marched through the doors with Reynauld on her tail, she gave the ponies a boastful glance before closing the doors behind them.

"Nice work, Reynauld! Good call on using the crown as an excuse!"

"These ponies are called the Royal Guards. I was inclined to believe that they worship someone with royal blood, but I was unsure if it is a king or a queen. We must look into it, perhaps some conversation pertaining to the subject." Reynauld suggested.

"And what about the badge?" She wondered.

Reynauld showed it off to Paracelsus, it was a badge that belonged to someone named Iron Shield, and if Paracelsus had to guess, it could be that pony Reynauld nearly strangled.

"Dismas' stories had a few interesting parts that just stuck with me."

"A man of God such as you should not be easily influenced by the drunkard."

"And you shouldn't be investigating a murder that does not concern us." He shot back.

The Doctor crossed her arms. "This is beneficial for everyone! I get to cut through a corpse while also learning the cause of death!"

"I'm curious," Reynauld began. "this town does not look like there are any humans around, and yet these... ponies, don't seem to be cornered about what we are."

"Well, they believed that I am a griffin, while they are unsure on what you are. To them, we are just strange creatures from a far away land."

"We must make haste, who knows how long before they discover who we truly are."