“Play a prank on a person you know,” Gallus recited as he and his friends lounged on the grass beside the lake. “Be sure to determine if it’s a fun prank that they will enjoy and list the pros and cons of your prank.” He flopped on his back and groaned. “Professor P is getting way too Sparkle if you ask me.”

“Well, remember what happened with Rainbow Dash,” Occelus reminded them as she read for the assignment scroll. “We don’t want to have to do a ‘night of zombie cookies’ on you, would we, Gallus?”

“I’d take that over the alternative assignment. Make a half dozen foals smile,” Smolder said with a snort of smoke.

“Oh, come on, it’s not that bad,” Sandbar said with a chuckle.

Smolder shot him a flat look, holding her hand flat, slightly above her head. “Getting eaten by a roc,” She lowered it an inch. “Getting turned to stone by a cockatrice.” Another inch. “Dealing with baby anything.” And one more inch. “Everything else.”

“So if we’re doing pranks, should we prank each other?” Silverstream suggested with a frown.

“Yona not want to prank friends,” Yona agreed, then added, “Though yaks have best pranks.”

“Let me guess, you give a nice piece of petrified wood as a smashable log?” Gallus suggested with a smirk.

Yona’s eyes got huge. “Yona think that best prank ever!” Gallus groaned, covering his face with his hands.

“Way to blow a great prank idea,” Smolder chided.

“Well, it doesn’t have to be blown. What if Yona pranked her family with the petrified wood?” Sandbar offered.

Yona laughed as she rolled on her back. “Yona’s father, mother, sister, little brother all love that prank! Unsmashable wood!”

“That’s an idea,” Occelus thought with a nod. “After all the assignment doesn’t have to be on someone at the school.”

Gallus had a thought of some feather mites that would be just perfect for any number of griffons he knew. “Yeah, but if we just send them a package from us, they’re going to be suspicious,” he pointed out. That got him a number of looks. “Okay. They’ll be suspicious of anything I send them.”

Silverstream lounged in the shoreline’s water, her rump thrust above the waves as her fin idly splashed the water behind her. “We need a way to make it a real surprise,” Silverstream mused.

“What if we put them in the shipments Professor Twilight is sending to our leaders?” Occelus suggested.

“Do who to what now?” Gallus asked.

The changeling let out a little sigh. “The professors are sending back the artifacts that were lent for the spellvenger hunt. They’ve got a whole class room filled with the things and boxes. We could put our pranks in the box and prank our leaders.”

“You want me to prank the dragon lord?” Smolder demanded, making Ocellus shrink back in worry before Smolder lunged and hugged her. “I love this idea! I can brag for months hitting her with a perfect prank!”

“Queen Novo is always up for a good joke too,” Silverstream agreed, clapping her forefins together enthusiastically before she hopped out, somersaulted, and transformed in midair into her hippogriff form. The six talked for a bit more, and finally split off. The greatest prank ever way on!

They met the very next day, pranks prepared, at the classroom storing the relics. Through the keyhole, Gallus could see the crates, the artifacts, and some bags of packing straw. “Looks like we’re right on time. They’re packing them up right now.”

“We can save them a little effort, get the crates out, and write our prank reports,” Silverstream said and then scratched her beak. “If we start a world war with our pranks, do you think we’ll fail? I mean, long shot but it could happen, right?”

“We’ll be extra careful not to start world war prank,” Sandbar assured him. “From what I hear, Princess Celestia enjoys a good prank.”

“Write us from the moon if she doesn’t,” Gallus quipped back, gesturing at the keyhole. “You’re up, Ocellus.” The changeling’s transformation magic flashed in a ring around her, and when it ended she’d shrunk down to a tiny ladybug and flew through the hole. A moment later she opened the door on the far side.

“You know, I would have expected the professors would have been a lot more careful with these after Cozy nearly used them to drain all the magic in Equestria,” Sandbar observed as they entered, closing the doors behind them. “You have your wood, Yona?”

“Yona does,” she said as she lifted a log of petrified wood. “Professor Pinkie’s sister eager to help Yona get hard wood.”

“You mean she wants your wood?” Gallus suggested with a chuckle, making Smolder snicker.

“No. Professor sister gave Yona wood. Why she try to take Yona’s wood?” the yak asked as the pair nearly collapsed laughing. “What so funny?” she asked in ominous tones.

“Nothing! It’s just a really dumb, dirty joke,” Sandbar said as he tried hard not to laugh too. “I’m glad you got your... hard wood.”

“Yes! Yona wood hard as stone!” the yak declared, and Gallus, Smolder, and Sandbar collapsed laughing.

“I don’t get it,” Ocellus stated flatly.

“I can’t... stop! I can’t breathe!” Gallus gasped. “I think I’m going to pass out!”

“Um, don’t we have a time limit here? I’m pretty sure Professor Sparkle and Glimmer aren’t going to let us just put this stuff in while they’re watching,” Silverstream pointed out.

“Right. Right. Not like we can’t talk about Yona’s wood later,” Smolder pointed out as she flew over to a box holding the dragon artifact. She’d brought a pillow case and she pinched her nose as she removed the artifact, and dumped in a collection of dragon sneeze blossoms. Then she put the relic in, covered it with more hay, and then put down a lid. A few bangs of a hammer, and the lid was in place.

Gallus located the box with the Crown of Grover, tugged it out, and pulled out a bottle full of tiny gray bugs from his saddlebag. It’d been a challenge convincing professor Fluttershy to talk the bugs into the bottle. “One load of feather mites. Good to go,” he said as he nestled the bottle in the bottom and put the lid almost off. He returned the lid, and then noticed there were more than six artifacts here.

“Hey, what’s that?” Gallus asked as he looked at some other artifacts that hadn’t been on the Spellvenger hunt. There was a staff topped with a bright green crystal. A tiny sign said ‘Storm King staff, hazardous.’ He glanced over his shoulder at the others, but they were occupied with their prank preparation. He looked at some of the others, reading them aloud in case any of his friends were nearby. “High Scepter of Maretonia, too ponish.” He moved from one box to the next. “Starswirl’s third grimoire, needs further study. A fragment of Holder’s boulder, not engaging enough.” Gallus regarded the pebble and let out a little snort. “‘Engaging’ must be eggheadese for ‘boring’.”

Some of the ‘artifacts’ seemed like mere junk, trinkets, or weird stuff. Jars of zap apple jam. An open magic box. “Changeling Jelly, ask Thorax what this is.” He opened one of the three jars and sniffed the minty jelly inside. He took a lick and clacked his beak, then put one of the three in his saddlebag. It’d go well on toast. He regarded several of the next, and wasn’t even sure if ‘Artifact’ was applicable. “The Golden Apple... okay, it’s an apple made of gold. A roc feather... cool but it’s just a feather...” His eyes moved to the end of the table.

Then he spotted what had to be the largest artefact. It was a huge, filling the corner of the room, but covered completely with a canvas drape. “Mirror of Deepest Desire. Return to Discord ASAP,” he read aloud, rubbing his chin. “Discord’s mirror, huh?” He grabbed the edge of the canvas drape as the other five argued about if Ocellus’s prank was even a prank. “A peak never hurt,” he said to himself, lifting it up slowly.

Beneath the cover was a surface that appeared flat, yet his own reflection seemed to be shifting and sliding inside like a funhouse mirror. “Woah,” he murmured as he stared at himself looking older and more baddass than he thought possible. “I like this mirror,” he muttered, but before his eyes the reflection changed and he was small and timid, with huge blue eyes staring back. “Okay, not so liking now.”

He reached out to the strange flat, yet not flat, surface and touched it with his hand. A whisper spoke in the back of his mind in strange unearthly voices. Somehow, the hissing made sense of a sort, the question forming in his mind. “What do you desire, mortal?”

“Yughhh...” was all he could say. Anything calling you a mortal couldn’t be good. He wanted to pull his hand away, but it was locked tight to the surface. He could feel something in the back of his mind slither like a snake. The slippery sensation moving through his head was matched by the sensation of honey dripping inside his skin.

“I desire... you... let me go...” he muttered. He glanced back at his friends at the far side of the room, wondering if he should try to call out to them. A stubbornness kept his mouth closed.

“In a moment. You’re a teenager. There must be something you desire. Just tell me what it is. Wealth? Oh yeah, you want that! I can feel your heart quicken.”

“Like I’d trust a mirror to give me money,” Gallus grumbled. If he’d been offered this back before joining the school he probably would have jumped on it, but having a magic cave testing him made him a little more leery about blindly accepting offers from magical things.

“Power then. Power to crush your enemies?” the voice purred in his head.

Again, old Gallus would have jumped on that offer. He had images of a super griffon blazing in a corona of blue fire. “I don’t need you for power,” he muttered. “And I’m not sure I have any enemies to crush, anyway.”

To his great dislike, the voice laughed in delight. “Oh, I love a hard sell! One more, then I’ll let you go,” the voice said, and Gallus was relieved to see his thumb move. “What to do? What to do? Mmmm... sex?”

“What?!” Gallus blurted, blushing furiously as he glanced over his shoulder at his friends. Only one looked back, but they were the only one that needed to. He immediately stared at the mirror; his thighs pressed together. “No! You’re a mirror!”

“Not with me, dearest. With your darling friend over there. I could help make it happen,” the voice said calmly, and was it just him or did it sound like Professor Glimmer? “Not mind control. No, no, no. But I could make it far, far more likely to happen... if you like. But hey, if you wish to woo them on your own, I will get out of your courtship and back to reflecting.”

Gallus’s eyes darted around a moment. “What would you do?” he muttered.

“Make you more like what they desire,” the mirror said. “The rest is up to you. I can help, but I’m not going to control anyone’s mind. No no. I can only just make it easier. Something you can’t do on your own.”

“I...” his mouth worked as he kept his tail tucked and his thighs together. Money and power, no problem. Tempt him with this though... it wasn’t like he was scared to talk to girls. It wasn’t as if he’d never thought about it. It was just every single time he tried, his tongue turned to mud and he sounded pure lameness and she’d just look baffled. Then all he could do was try to play it cool as a joke because skies help him if he was ever just honest with a girl! Galus swallowed hard, feeling one part of him between his nethers that was quite keen on the idea. He felt his skin growing hot under the feathers, and a cautious part of his mind warned him to start thinking of Grandpa Gruff before he started flagging it around in the air. “I-”

Suddenly the door burst open and a purple beam flashed across the room. The blast of magic washed over Gallus, and he let out an ‘ee!’ sort of noise as magic danced a jig in the space between his brain cells. Fortunately, whatever magic held his hand to the mirror disappeared and the canvas fell back into place. Professor Twilight stepped in and stared at them laid out on the floor. “You? What are all of you doing in here?” She asked as the other professors entered as well.

Slowly, the busted six friends picked themselves off the floor. Ocelus became their spokescreature, timidly approaching. “Well, Professors. We wanted to do the friendship lesson Professor Pinkie set out for us and we thought we could... well... I wanted to give this to Thorax.” She said as she pulled a piece of wood out of the crate going to the changeling hive. ‘A Prank’ was carved across the front.

Pinkie gasped. “It’s a plank prank! A prank plank! It’s a pun and a prank! Extra credit Ocellus,” the pink pony said as she rushed over to the little changeling and gave her a hoof bump.

“Yona give Prince unbreakable wood! Yona give hardest wood!” she exclaimed. “Prince love it!”

The professors exchanged looks, and Rainbow Dash couldn’t suppress a snicker. Twilight took a deep, dignified breath. “Well, while I’d like to commend you for thinking outside the box, you probably shouldn’t have tried to do so with these artifacts. Some of them are quite dangerous if ill used.”

“Like this one?” Gallus said, gesturing over his shoulder at the mirror behind him.

Twilight immediately frowned. “Exactly like that one!”

“Like is it a soul sucking, mind trapping mirror or something?” Gallus asked, his hand tingling.

“No. It’s just Discord’s mirror, which means that it’s bound to be anno- interesting!” she amended at Fluttershy’s cool look. “Interesting and unpredictable! In potentially annoying ways.”

“I doubt it’s dangerous, Twilight. I specifically forbade him from donating anything that might endanger the school, the students, or Equestria,” Fluttershy assured her. “Granted... Discord is a little fuzzy on what is and isn’t dangerous, but I’m sure he wouldn’t mean any harm.”

Gallus nodded slowly as the others started out, the professors departing with them. Especially her... he bit his lip and backed up, his hind leg slipping under the canvas. “Well?” the voice murmured in his head.

“You swear it’ll get her to like me?”

“It will get her to like you more. I can give you a chance. If you call her fat and insult her aunt, I can’t be responsible for that,” the voice replied in almost sing song rhyme. Twilight was turning her head towards him. It was now or never.

“Yes,” he muttered. There was a zing that went up his leg, making him yelp as he darted away.

“Are you alright?” Twilight asked in alarm. Gallus stamped his hind leg several times, trying to make the sting go away. Fortunately it was rapidly fading, whatever it had been.

“Cramp,” he said as he darted for the door. After all, he didn’t want Professor Sparkle to simply poof away whatever the mirror had done. And it had done something! His body felt like he’d just flown through one of Professor Egghead’s thunderclouds.. Maybe it was turning him into a suave hunk of a griffon? From the classroom behind him he heard Twilight shriek, “Oh, Sweet Celestia! Wing mites! AH! They’re getting everywhere!”

“Wonder if that counts for my friendship lesson?” he mused before detouring to a bathroom. He wanted to see what that zap might have done. Fluttershy’s assurances aside, it WAS Discord’s mirror. He plopped down in front of the mirror, checking his beak, his eyes, his tongue. Nothing seemed different. He lifted a leg and took a quick check down there, then turned and lifted his tail to get a better view... but he couldn’t see any changes to his blue furry sack or the fuzzy ridge beneath it...

Then a pegasi colt winged in and landed, and took in the sight of Gallus posed before the bathroom mirror. His eyes went just as wide as Gallus’s as they stared at each other. “What?” Gallus snapped as he felt himself blazing under his plumage.

“Uh... I’ll just go use the one by the cafeteria,” the green pegasi said as he turned and rushed out.

Gallus sighed, dropping his leg and turning around. He glared at his own reflection in the mirror. “If that stupid mirror was just giving me ‘confidence’ or some junk like that, I’m going to go smash it. Seven years bad luck or not.” He turned on heel and walked out, the ebbing staticy sensation fading away with every step.

Gallus wasn’t sure what to make of his exchange with the stupid mirror. If Professor Sparkle hadn’t been watching him, he definitely would have asked that mirror a few more questions with Yona’s wood in hand. As is he kept glancing around, wondering what, if anything, the mirror might have done to him. All through Professor Applejack’s course, he kept glancing over at her and wondering what, if anything, the zap might have done. Or maybe this was just Discord setting him up for a laugh.

“Hey, Sandbar?” he asked during lunch as Sandbar and he were stuck in line for hayburgers and scones while the girls were over at their usual cafeteria table. The students were clustered at lunch tables surrounded by vendors serving the highly varied diets of the students. “Do I look different to you?”

He stared for a moment... then two... and just when Gallus wondered if his friend was suffering some sort of attack, answered, “Naw. Why do you ask?”

Gallus ground his beak a moment. “You don’t think I look... I don’t know? Different?”

“Well, sure my main bird,” Sandbar said. “We’re all different. Why, yesterday I carried my saddlebags on the left. Today? Totally right.” And he gestured to his side with a cool smile.

“My mind is blown,” Gallus replied, groaning and pressing his face into his warm scones before taking a deep breath. The cafeteria mare, her face utterly inured to the drama of her teenage students, filled their trays. “Okay. I’m going in,” he said decisively as he rose to his feet, his eyes locked on his target.

“Cool. Going where?” Sandbar asked. “Oh, man. Are the scones bad or something?”

Gallus stared straight ahead, decided that the universe didn’t allow dumb questions like that in it. “If I don’t make it back... shhh... I don’t know. Forget about me. Deny I ever existed,” he answered, and then turned and started towards the table with the four girls.

Time seemed to slow as he walked. Maybe this was it. Maybe he just needed the right moment and the magic chaos mirror would do whatever the mirror was supposed to do. All four slowed their conversation, watching him with a mixture of expressions. He set his feet, fluffed his feathers, ran a claw through his plumage, and said in a deep voice, “Hello, ladies.”

Or that’s what he would have done had his voice not cracked and made him say ‘LayDEEZ!’ Still none of them were laughing! He still had a chance. Coughing, as if he had something in his throat, he pushed up. “I mean... ladies.”

“Uhuh,” Smolder replied flatly.

“Yona yak, not lady,” Yona reminded Gallus flatly. As if he needed any.

Occelus knit her brows together with a slightly confused smile.

“Hi, Gallus!” Silverstream replied, waving her hand vigorously in the air above her head.

Gallus blinked at the four. “Notice something different about me?” he asked, trying to give them the smolder. The actual Smolder crossed her arms and let out a skeptical snort of smoke as she arched a brow. Yona blinked and Ocellus just wore that polite, patient smile like he was doing something stupid.

Silverstream cocked her head, cupped her chin, and narrowed her eyes thoughtfully before her eyes brightened. “Oh, yeah! Now I see!”

Gallus’ heart leapt...

“You took a bath!” she observed.

...and crashed upon the floor in a thousand tiny pieces.

“Yeah, I thought you looked a little shinier! New conditioner?” Silverstream asked.

Gallus had pride, and ego, and... and self respect damn it! Nevermind if it was all the same thing! He opened his mouth, looked into those periwinkle eyes, and suffered brain damage. “yyyyyeAH!” he said, his right eye twitching a little. “That’s it! New conditioner! You nailed it!” he said with beaming happiness as he died inside. Smolder covered her face with a hand while Occellus gave a sad shake of her head.

“Griffon not look clean to Yona,” she observed flatly.

“O... oh yeah! Well you look... big! Really big!” What was wrong with him? He whirled on heel and ran off, leaving four baffled friends watching him go.

Gallus ditched the last three classes, trying to get in to ask that mirror some pointed questions, but there was always a person inside working and he had to leave in growing frustration. He finally retreated all the way back into the bedroom he shared with Sandbar, climbed up into his bunk, and settled into full sulk. “Stupid mirror.”

He heard the door open and buried his head under the pillow. “Brought you snacks since you missed dinner,” Sandbar said, and Gallus heard a clack of a tray on the desk table. “So, you okay?” said his roomie.

“I’ve got my head buried under a pillow,” he muttered, not caring if Sandbar heard him clearly or not. “What do you think?”

“You know, if you really want really want Silverstream to like you, you can just tell her you like her,” Sandbar suggested.

“I’m not like you and Yona, Sandbar. I’d just screw it up,” his tail flicked as he grumbled, curling away. “Even with help.”

He could imagine Sandbar shrugging and climbing into bed. Gallus liked that about Sandbar. As infuriating as he could be sometimes, he knew when to shut up and leave Gallus alone.

Once the moon was out and he was pretty sure that Sandbar was asleep, he withdrew his head and rolled on to his back. He wasn’t exactly sure when he’d started to get really interested in Silverstream. Maybe back when the tree of Harmony had tested them. While they’d been in the pool, he’d been rubbing really hard against her. Of course, it wasn’t like he could go ‘hey, you remember that time I was grinding against you while you were totally freaking out while you thought the Storm King was coming back? Ya wanna do that again?’

And he wanted to do that again. Silverstream was the closest person to a griffoness at the school, with a beak and claws to die for. And sure, her flank might have been a little ponish, but... well, there really wasn’t anything wrong with that, was there? But past that, she was also the most ungriffon person he’d ever known. It wasn’t just that she was always bubbly. Heck, half the girls here were. No, it was that she was bubbly and optimistic in spite of what the Storm King had done to her people. She had baggage and she dealt with it. That was so cool.

Only she never, ever, seemed to be interested in him! Not the slightest bit! And he had tried to tell her he liked her! Plenty of times. Only every time he did, she’d gush, ‘I like you too’ faster than you could say ‘friend zone’. But was it that she wasn’t interested in him that way, or that she was but didn’t think he was in her, or something else even more crazy? What was he supposed to say? ‘I want to eat your pussy or whatever hippogriff mares call it until you cum?’ Because oh did he want to.

Just thinking of it made him want to. He felt his furry blue sheathe tighten up and stir. Normally, this would be the time to stop thinking about her, but he couldn’t really help it. He splayed his hind legs wide and let his hands caress gradually up and down his torso, claw tips lightly nudging his nipples with each pass. Gradually, he moved his hands inward until he finally teased his digits along the furred container of his member. With every motion up and down, more and more of his maleness within swelled under his careful claws. The tapered pink head pushed out into the open air, glistening. He tried to suppress the moans. He was a guy. Sandbar was a guy. This happened and you just pretended it didn’t till they finished.

As more and more of his pink cock slipped out, his sheathe started to bunch up against his sack and his hands shifted from his furry crotch scruff to his cock itself. The base of his shaft swelled slightly, keeping the skin of his sheath out of the way. Every griffon male learned the best way to masturbate: carefully. He wrapped his talon around the shaft, keeping his claws away from delicate bits, and rubbed briskly. After a few minutes, his other hand dropped down and fondled his coin purse, coaxing the heavy treasures within. There wasn’t a lot of finesse or technique. He tried to keep his panting down as his toe beans curled as he felt his sack pull snug against his body. He tried to keep Silverstream in mind as his hand worked, feeling the spring inside tighten up bit by bit.

What was taking so long? This was usually easier! He inhaled deeply and screwed his eyes shut as his hand worked even harder, drawing his hind legs up as he thrust into his strokes. He struggled to just... get... it... out! The base suddenly swelled up to almost the size of his fist, and his entire body went rigid, arching his back and lifting his hips as his body unloaded. Deep muscles began to rhythmically clench, the spring unloading all at once. He felt the fluid press against the knot from the inside, pressuring for a moment before the hot seed overcame the resistance. Streamers of white pumped onto his chest before his legs relaxed and he fell back onto the mattress. Aside from a bit of fuzziness, he didn’t feel super good. Just... spent. His frustrations of the day had been transformed into a few sticky seminal teaspoons. He reached over for a handkerchief he kept for just short occurrences and carefully daubed it up. He’d get the rest in his shower.

Well, the day might have been made of frustranium, but it was over. Sandbar was was too quiet to not be awake, but Gallus knew that Sandbar wouldn’t say anything. You didn’t do that when a guy was getting personal with himself, just like Gallus would be ‘deaf’ whenever Sandbar needed that time. It happened. No need to talk about it.

Gallus wadded up the cloth and tossed into the hamper where the towels, sheets, and unmentionable cloths were put to be washed. Then he pulled back his sheets and closed his eyes. As his mind drifted off, he wondered if he’d done some damage or something with that last yoink. After all, his bits usually weren’t this sore and tingly after he came...

But all further curiosity faded away. A pair of snores filled the air, punctuated by a frequent shuffling of hind legs.

Author's Note

So like I said, this is a commission, so there's someone with a stick making sure I finish. I hope to have one chapter up every week till we finish. Dunno how long it's going to be, but hopefully no more than 65k words.

So yeah. Comments, critiques, and corrections are super welcome as I hammer this out.