Saten Twist Adventures

by AlphaDog21

Rating: teen
Tags: Death, Romance, Trixie, Comedy, Profanity, Derpy Hooves, Violence, Narcotics, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 3397

The misadventures of a sarcastic pony from Fillydefia. Who moved to ponyville with his cousin Derpy Hooves..

Saten Twist is sarcastic, alcoholic, anti hero who lives in ponyville with his couson Derpy Hooves..The series a playful parody of My Little Pony.. And while Saten Twist doesn't start off as all that likable.. But he does get better thoughout the series.. Espically when he begins dating Trixie (who herself is much nicer in this verison).

Published 2019-10-06 05:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2020-08-09 19:57:31 UTC

Season 1 Episode 1:

9PM AT NIGHT:

AppleJack is seen woondering though Ponyville. Having her blonde hair down. It was a quite night, everyone was in their homes, she enjoyed the quite. But suddenly a red Pony falls out the sky, and almost hits her. He clearly intoxicated.

"Saten Twist?" She asked, serprised to see him.

"H Hey Applejack." Saten Twist said, his breath smelling of alchohol as it sprayed into her face as he spoke to her.

"Are you drunk?" She asked, waving her hoof over her face.

"No I'm no- A little."

"You really need some sort of intervention. I mean this is the third time this week." AppleJack insisted.

Instead of replying. Suddenly Saten Twist squeeze hugged her, even though it was clear Applejack wasn't completely comfortable with it.

"I -I love you Applejack. Let's grow old together in everyway. (demonic voice) EVERY-WAY!"

"Yeah.. About that.." She replied, pushing him away.

" Look. We only been on 'one' date. It didn't even end well,. But since then. Ya showed up at my house four times.. Uninvited. I don't wanna seem like a mean girl, but. As ah told you one hundred times before.. We're not a couple. So stop acting like we are." AppleJack said, she felt that giving to him straight was her only opinion left.

"I -I don't understand?" saten twist asked in confusion.

"Look. I'm sorry sugercube. But yer too crazy for me." AppleJack admitted, which might be slightly ruder than she normally is.

"How am I crazy!?" Saten Twist cried. Though asking it kinda loudly doesn't excatly help his cause in proving he's not.

"Well., For starters you often rob people. Even me."

"Oh come on. You never wear that t shirt." Saten said in defence.

"Sweetie, that's not the point." AppleJack insisted.

"Fine. Fine.. But I still bought you this." Saten said, giving her the brown hat she became iconic for. AJ doesn't know how to reply.

THE NEXT DAY/SUMMER SUN CELEBRATION:

Saten Twist is trotting around without any proper destination, still a bit hungover, and grumpy about AppleJack. Unfortantly for him, he was nearly hit by the carriage Twilight and Spike arrived in, since this is back when she first came to ponyville. He manages to dodge, and falls onto the ground when doing so.

"Ohh. Sorry." The purple unicorn said, hoping out and helping him up.

"You from canterlot?" Saten asked towards the pretty purple unicorn as she helps him up.

"How do you know?" She asked.

"Can tell by the type of carriage." He replied, pointing at it.

"Hope that isn't a problem." She said nervously.

"No, it's fine." Saten Twist replied.

Saten and Twilight awkwardly turn seperate directions. As he's leaving, Twilight runs into Pinkie, who when seeing Twilight's new to town gasps loudly and runs off.

Later that same evening Saten Twist flies bye Twilight's house, only to hear music coming from inside it and peaks though a window.

"And that's why. I threw this party, and invited everyone in ponyville!" Pinkie Pie is heard saying.

"Not me." Saten Twist sighed sadly.

Author's Note

For the record, I know it's Satan not Saten, but I feel this gives him more uniqueness..

Season 1 Episode 2:

Pinkie came out of her tent, with her hair even crazier then usual.

"Oh, Gose, Pinkie. I love your new style." Fluttershy commented.

"Who are these ponies!?" Dashie cried annoedly.

"Isn't this great? I couldn't sleep last night 'cause I was so excited about cider season, and I had this brilliant idea to come down here and camp out, so I told a few others about it and they all thought it was a great idea too, and now it's just a big old cider party! Woo-hoo!"

"Well. We're almost ready to open." AppleJack said, her and AppleBloom preparing applecider. When suddenly Saten Twist appears from actual nowhere. Wearing the same black outfit he always does. "Hey Jacky!"

"Oh, jeeze, not you again." AppleJack groaned.

"Hey Saten." AppleBloom waved.

"Hey kiddo. Ever had rum?" Saten asked.

"No." AB replied.

"For god sakes she's a little kid." AppleJack growled.

"So.. I had mine, before I could talk. My dad said it was the only way t-"

"We don't have time for anouther one of your childhood issue stories.. Now please go away Saten!" AppleJack growled.

SEVERAL WEEKS LATER:

"Careful Derpy. Don't want to cause anymore damage then you already have." Rainbow warned, as Derpy is seen hopping on a thunde cloud.

"I just don't know what went wrong." Derpy said, jumping more, zapping herself.

"Yeah. It's a mystery... Same as why your Saten Twist recommended you." Rainbow Dash replied annoyed.

"Because I'm awesome." Derpy replied, flying to another spot but bangs into pole, knocking everything apart.

"That's it.. *puts her on the ground* just sit there and do 'nothing."

Derpu sits down, but even doing that leads to distruction.

"Sorry." Derpy said awkwardly.

"Yes, we are all here to send Applejack to compete in this year's Equestria Rodeo competition in Canterlot. *crowd cheers... And I want to thank Applejack in advance for generously offering up her prize money to fix town hall." The Mayor of ponyvile is seen speakng into a magaphone, than giving it to AppleJack who than makes a speech.

"Yeah. Cause it's not like I offered to do it." Groaned a friend of Saten Twist. Master Sword. He's a green earth pony with short blonde hair and blue eyes. Unlike Saten Twist he doesn't wear any outfit. He's also known to be quite insane and he later provides most of the dark humor.

"Hey. People would give 'anything' to her." Saten Twist replied, he himself has black hair with Scootaloo's hairstyle. And he's a dark red, and bright red eyes.

"I don't need to hear anouther one of your AppleJack fantasies." Master Sword groaned annoyedly.

Author's Note

I'm sorry this isn't really descriptive so far.. The orginal is more of script mode, I'm doing my best.. I promise..

Seasn 1 Episode 3:

"Sweetie Belle, I adore having you help me, truly I do, but ..."

"Guess I got a little carried away. It's just that I know how important it is for you to finish this wardrobe in time for Sapphire Shores and her backup dancers." Sweetie Belle admitted.

"This is without a doubt my most prestigious order ever. After all, Sapphire Shores is ''the'' pony of pop, and her Equestria-wide tour launches in Canterlot next week! Which means she must have these outfits by day after tomorrow at the latest!" Rarity replied.

"I'm here!.. I'm here!.. I brought the costumes." Rarity said, running in with a trey of costumes on hooks.

"You made it!" SB cried excited.

"Yes, sorry for cutting it so close, but out of all my business. I somehow found enough time to work on your costumes as well." Rarity replied.

"Hey. Nice perfamance." Saten says to Sweetie Belle after her play.

"Really!?. Everyone only cares about the stupid dresses. *sudden anger* This always happens! Rarity always outshines me." Sweetie Belle complained.

"Hey. Siblings do that.. In fact.. When I was your age. I won a ribbin at a science fair, my project was called "do Lima beans nurture under classical music". But my unimpressed mother simply just pointed out that it was a rip off of my older brother's project "do Lima beans grow better in rock and roll". And well.. I ended up losing the ribbon and it was given to my stinkin brother ..."

2 HOURS LATER

"First off, the projects were completely differenty. I was showing the classic music 'nurtures' Lima beans. But my stupid mother didn't lesson.. If your like to see the relationship between nurturing and growth, I'd like to point out that my brother is EIGHT INCHES TALLER THAN ME!" Saten Twist ranted angrily. But than takes a moment to calm himself down.

"Anyway. I hope that helpe- (sees that Sweetie Belle must of ran off quite some time ago).. Oh."

SweetieBelle stormed home and started confronting her sister.

"Honey. If this is one of those emotional talks about you wetting the bed, I really don't wanna hear about i-"

"That's not what this is Rarity!.. It's about about those stupid dresses!" Sweetie Belle cried angrily.

"Oh.. Were they hated? Cause I make new ones." Rarity insisted.

"No! They were perfect! TOO perfect!.. Nobody watched it for anything else! Only the outfits!"

Rarity is confused and doesn't reply.

"It's like my fifth birthday all over again!"

"I.. Don't understand... Why are you angry sweetie? Are you constipated?" Rarity asked.

"This is nothing to do with water!" Sweetie Belle cried, obviously not understanding what it actually means.

"Darling, I think you miss heard m-"

I hate you!" Sweetie Belle cried angrily.

"But why?" Asked a confused Rarity.

"I'm gonna go eat 20 buckets of ice cream. And not gain any weight, due to this being a cartoon! Good day Mr White!" Sweetie Belle cried, referencing Breaking Bad at the end.

"You really need to stop watching that show." Rarity replied.

Sweetie Belle was too angry to sleep, and decided to take revenge on Rarity.

SweetieBelle plans to ruin one of Rarity's hats. But she starts having second thoughts. At which point a small verison of Sweetie Belle appears on her shoulder, dressed as an angel.

"No! Don't do it!" The angel cried in protest.

"Don't lesson to that sissy. Do it!" Said a second mini Sweetie Belle, dressed as a cliche demon.

"Who you calling a sissy!" Angel Sweetie Belle cried angrily.

"Guys this isn't helping." The real Sweetie Belle said.

"ook. Look.. Rarity didn't mean it." The angel said,

"Wow.. Guess your right." The real Sweetie Belle said.

"That's right. Now just go back to bef-"

Before angel Sweetie Belle finished, devil Sweetie Belle pulls out a handgun and shoots it dead. Angel Sweetie Belle hits a nearby wall and slides down, leaving a train of blood behind her.

"Holly crap!" The real Sweetie Belle cried in shock.

"Do it! Do it now!" Devil Sweetie Belle cried, pointing the tiny gun at the real Sweetie Belle, who puts her hands up in surrender.

"Okay. Okay. Take it.. Take it easy" Sweetie Belle said, and nervously goes back to ruining the hat.

"Princess Luna!? Is it really you?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Yep. I'm the princess of the night. And it's my duty to come into your dreams." Luna explained.

"What about him?" Sweetie Belle asked, pointing behind Luna.

"Hey. Hey. I'm not involved in this" Freddy Krueger said, smoking a ciggerate under a tree not doing anything villainous for once. He's just there.

"Forget him. Listen dear, I too have a sister who often shines more brightly than me, and with this, I have struggled." Luna explained.

"Please don't have this turn into a scrooge like plot." Sweetie Belle said.

"Too late." Luna replied, sending them back in time.

"I remember this. This is my fifth birthday party! I decided to make a grand entrance. I made myself all beautiful, just like my big sister."

I'm pretty sure they wanted you to just show up in general." Luna said in a very deadpan tone.

"Anyway. When I finally finished. I kept posing at the top of the stairs, waiting to be noticed ..."

"Now your sounding like Paris Hilton." Luna said in the same deadpan tone.

"That a good thing?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"No. Not even a little." Luna replied.

"See! Even at my own birthday! Rarity outshined me." Sweetie Belle said sadly.

Or maybe you didn't get the full story." Luna replied.

Sweetie now realised that Rarity was never trying to outshine her. She was just buying time, till Sweetie Belle arrived. If she arrived.

Luna ended up showing SweetieBelle, that ruining ONE design, would ruin all of Rarity's would end becoming the plot of the creepypasta "Rarity's Dress".

"I was upset at you for stealing the spotlight from me at the play, so I pulled out the center stitch to the headpiece so it would fall apart. But then I realized I didn't want your future to be ruined forever and ever, so I came back to change it before it was too late! So... here it is. It's all fixed. Please forgive me." Sweetie Belle explained to her older sister.

"Forgive you!? How could I forgive yo-"

Sweetie Belle is seen puppy eyes.

"Okay fine." Rarity groaned.

Season 1 Episode 4:

Years earlier, Derpy Hooves was seen as a young filly. She already has her cutie mark.
The bedroom is quite bland. Simplly has a window next to her bed. And a painting of a forest one of side of the walls. Suddenly Saten Twist enters the room.

"Hey Derp. Quite that already, your gonna hurt yourself." He said annoyedly.

"Shut up, your not the boss of me!" Filly Derpy cried very stubbornly and continued jumping. But than she bangs her head on the roof, and falls down on her butt. She opens her eyes only them both looking in different directions.

"Oh my god, you okay?" Saten Twist asked in concern.

"Sure, why do you ask?"

SOON AFTER:

"Told you, you were gonna hurt." Saten Twist, as Derpy is now sitting on a coach. Derpy is concerned that her new look where make her the target of bullies. And sure enough, one shows up, mocking her. Wanting to defend her, Saten approaches the bully. But after an earthquack, Saten Twist trips and ends up accidantally killing him. Whch frightens Derpy and himself. A paranoid Derpy ends up insisting aparn moving. So eventually they buy train tickets take train with the help of their friend Glaze, a green pony who shares the same hairstyle of Vinyl Sketch.

Glaze tags along for the train ride. Though their other friend Trixie ends up staying behind, trying to become an entertainer.

Amongst the train ride, Saten and Derpy secretly get high on weed. Serprisingly Derpy is the bigger pot head of the two. Saten says she has a habit of hiding it in muffins.

"I'm telling you, the only reason we die, is because we except it, as an inevitability." Said a stoned Derpy, before passing the lit joint to Saten Twist.

Saten pauses, and suddenly chuckles to himself.

"Aww man, This shit is awesome!" Saten cried as his only reply, and the two of them hightfive each other. Glaze was seen in the back, simply looking out a window.

The train finally arrived in Ponyville. Almost immidately after the three left the train they are found by young Pinkie Pie. She still knew the Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow and Fluttershy, but Twilight didn't arrive in ponyville yet.

"Welcome to Ponyville." The pink mare said happily.

"Huh, back in Fillydefia. We would of gotten robbed by now." Glaze insisted.

"Want me to give you a tour?" Pinkie asked.

"We don't have any money." Derpy admitted.

"Your so silly willy, you don't need money for this." Pinkie said, patting Derpy on her head, rubbing some of her blonde hair.

"Please don't do that." Derpy groaned annoyedly.

Pinkie showed Derpy, Glaze and Saten all over Ponyville, eventually they ended up at sweet apple aches. Almost immediately Saten Twist takes a sign to Applejack. And serprisingly, despite not finding his tongue at first, he manages to ask her out very quickly. AJ agrees, seeing nothing wrong with it. And she leaves to go get ready.

"Impressive." Pinkie Pie admitted.

"Really? Cause I almost shitted myself." Saten Twist admitted nervously.

"Well you didn't." Glaze chuuckled.

"Yeah, and now I have a soul mate." Saten sad proudly.

WEEK AND A HALF LATER

"I think we need ta break up." AppleJack said, sitting outside a local resturant with him. AppleJack has her blonde hair tied down, it covering her back neck, and goes down to her shoulders. Nobody else is there. As it's a very cloudy and chilly day. AppleJack took that as a proper time to break up with him.

"What!?" Saten Twist cried, finally opening a bottle of red wine he was struggling to open.

"It's just not working out, I don't see a long term relationship." AppleJack admittedly quitely.

"Why!?" Saten Twist cried.

"Well, for one thing. You kinda have a drinking problem." AppleJack replied.

"No I don't!" Saten Twist cried. And than drinks the entire bottle of the untouched red wine. All by himself. AppleJack's green eyes widen in shock at his ability to do this.

"What? I was thirsty." Saten said, wiping away some of the wine from his upper lip, and putting down the empty bottle.

"Look sugercube. I'm sorry. But I need to move on towards bigger, better, things." AppleJack replied.

TIMESKIP:

Everyone was enjoying the welcoming party to Twilight. Excepy Saten who Pinkie forgot to invite, as he was kinda depressed about AJ.

Derpy, being very protective of him and mad at AppleJack for upsetting him, approached the souther pony at said party. And tricked her into having one of Derpy 's "Pot Muffins". Considering this enough punishment, as AJ never tookdrugs. And didn't want to do anything too serious.

After the party. Derpy found Saten Twist sitting sadly ontop of a hill, holding a eggnog box and drinking from it.

"Hey cuz. You doing any better?"

"Not really.. I'm starting to realize. Nobody loves me.. Not AppleJack. Not my parents.. Nobody." Saten said sadly.

"Don't be so down. So AJ and you didn't work.. You move on. It probably never wouldof worked out anyway." Derpy explained, patting his back.

"I guess.. Eggnog?"

"Laxtose." Derpy admitted.

"It's just Vodka. Stopped being eggnog about two hours ago." Saten Twist replied.

"In that case." Derpy said, and takes a large drink from it.

Season 1, episode 5

I'm sad this isn't as liked as I hoped, but I'll keep it going anyway. The characters do get more likable in later seasons.. And I'm still trying to make it more of an actual story, when that's not what it orginally was. More of a screenplay..

Saten Twist and Trixie Lulamoone are seen at a local resturant in ponyville. She secretly returned to town. The two of them are childhood friends, sudtly hinted by the way Saten was the only person besides Snips and Snails who didn't hate on Trixie. And it's even revealed she is a far kinder and less self absorbed person outside of her stage acts.

''I'm glad your finally over AppleJack.. Who needs her anyway. She didn't understand you.. You need someone who dose.. Who knows.. She might be sitting wait in front of you.'' Trixie sad, less than sudtle in her hints.

''I honestly have no idea what your going on about Trixie. But your voice is soothing, and strangely I feel better.'' Saten said happily.

''Sure.'' Trixie sighed.

Later on, Saten returned to a small apartment in ponyville that he shares with his cousin, Derpy Hooves. Who tells him about a new boyfriend, and that it's Master Sword.

''Your dating Master Sword!?'' Saten Twist cried.

''What's the big deal?'' Derpy asked.

'He's nuts. Don't you remember when I first met him.''

(a year or two ago Saten visits an office to get an interview from Master Sword. A green earth pony from a unknown town, with short blonde hair and light blue eyes. But Sword respondes goes to extreme lengths to avoid being interviewed, to the point he jumps himself out the window and is put in the hospital, the reasoning never revealed, but he does hint at being once involved with the pony mafia.)

''Look Saten, I know your protective, but I'm a grown pony, and I'm tired of being alone.'' Derpy explained.

''Fine, but just be careful.'' Saten insisted, and shortly after the doorbell rang. Master Sword waiting at other side of door, spraying something into his mouth to prevent bad breath. But it ends up going into his eye, due to bad aim, and he begins freaking out, and unfortantly Derpy sees him doing so. Who teases him, and he plays it off. And they leave to go on their date, leaving Saten alone in the house. Remembering how alone he is.