Six Mean Ponies

Chapters

...and one nice one
You're a Dead Mare
How to Stay Alive
That's the Name of the Game
If Your Friends Jump Off A Cliff...
Lavender Alicorn Syndrome
A Glowing First Day of School
Pink, Pink, Pinkie

...and one nice one

“And then we all grew super-long manes with all kinds of colors, and your castle grew out of the ground, and everypony was like, ‘Whoa!’ And then we sang this song about rainbows, and-”

Twilight Sparkle, or a clone of her at the very least, was not having a good day. It was the first day of her life and already the worst day of her life.

She had been created by a lunatic, surrounded by idiots that couldn’t manage themselves out of a grocery store, and was now having her ear talked off by one of those very same idiots. Who, when Twilight had asked how she knew where they were going, had delved into a rapid-fire recap that was sure to rupture Twilight’s eardrums.

The only thing keeping her from burning this entire forest down in frustration was the thought of finding the Elements of Harmony, getting unlimited power, and the sweet sweet revenge she’d enact on anyone that even tried to annoy her.

“Hey Twilight, why did you need directions to the Tree of Harmony, anyway?” The annoyance by her side finally asked.

‘Twilight’ rolled her eyes. “Are you really that scatterbrained? We’re going to collect those elements so we can take our freedom by force.”

Pinkie blinked at her. Twilight was grateful for the moment of silence it brought, even if it came at the price of stopping in their tracks. “Take our what? What do we need to be free from? Your checklist?”

Twilight scoffed. “Maybe from the witch that’s trying to force us to do her dirty work? Do you pay attention to anything? Or are you always just in your little la la land?”

Pinkie stared at her for a long enough time that Twilight was briefly concerned she had fallen asleep with her eyes open. Eventually, the pink pony spoke again. But this time in a slow voice, suspicious voice as she took a step back. “You aren’t…”

“There you two are!”

Both ponies’ heads snapped around as Queen Chrysalis came crashing through the trees. Twilight had to fight back the urge to facehoof. If they hadn’t spent time chatting she could have already had the Elements in her grasp! Instead, she could only sneer as her creator started ranting.

“I could take care of an entire hive but apparently I can’t keep track of six idiotic clones! Now if you don’t stay by my side until we reach the Elements I’m going to…”

She trailed off as her eyes drifted over Pinkie and froze there, growing wider by the moment. While Twilight was annoyed and bored with this one-sided conversation, the other pony actually looked frightened by the Queen and took a couple of trembling steps back as she and the changeling stared into each other’s eyes. Neither daring to blink.

Twilight glanced between the two, not enjoying the confusion she was feeling. She prided herself on her ability to see and understand more than others. But she couldn’t even guess to what was happening as Chrysalis’s face morphed from shock to pure rage.

“You!” She seethed, baring her fangs.

Pinkie bolted. The Earth Pony twisted on the spot so fast Twilight was sure she should have torn a tendon. She didn’t get more than a step, however, before being surrounded by a sickly green glow and lifted to Chrysalis' eye level.

“So,” the Queen sneered, watching the pink pony squirm within her grip, “You think you could infiltrate my plan? Think you could outsmart me?”

“What are you even doing here?” Pinkie yelled back, her hooves kicking helplessly at the magic around her, “Didn’t you learn from last tiHRMM!”

Chrysalis’ magic clamped around the pony’s muzzle, pressing hard enough to cause involuntary tears to spring to Pinkie’s eyes. “Oh no you don’t. I don’t want to hear another peep out of you for the rest of my life.”

“What is going on here?” ‘Twilight’ interrupted, stomping her hoof to get the Queen’s attention. She hated admitting she was confused but what was happening in front of her didn’t make any sense.

“Oh dear child,” Chrysalis cooed condescendingly, looking far too happy with herself, “I’m afraid you’ve been tricked. This is not one of your fellow clones at all but the original instead. Here to ruin my plans.”

Pinkie’s eyes widened in sync with Twilight’s. They looked back and forth between each other and Twilight mentally kicked herself for not seeing it sooner. Of course that’s how she knew where the Elements were! Of course that’s why she was acting so weird. Ugh, Twilight was so stupid!

“And I think,” Chrysalis continued, twisting slightly with her magic, causing Pinkie to whimper through her gag, “that I may take you up on your original idea, my minion. Why don’t I just take my revenge right now?”

Her magic glowed brighter and Pinkie’s whimper turned into a muffled scream.

Twilight’s ears flattened at the sound. It wasn’t particularly loud, per se, but the pain that laced it hurt just to listen to. She mentally patted herself on the back for actually understanding what that stupid Queen wanted even before she did herself. This was the best choice to get what Chrysalis wanted. The logical decision. The…

Pinkie was staring at her. She was writhing in pain as the sickly green magic pressed and twisted her body but her baby blue eyes remained fixed on Twilight’s face. Sorrowful and pleading.

But what did Twilight care? It’s not like she didn’t have a spare ‘Pinkie’ wandering around somewhere in this forest. And it’s not like she had any reason to care about what happened to this pony. By all logical reasoning--this was one of her enemies.

Pained. Begging.

There was absolutely no reason she shouldn’t just let Chrysalis kill…

Oh, buck her stupid day-old heart.

Before she could stop herself Twilight’s horn flared to life and released a beam of pure purple energy into Chrysalis’s side. She expected to simply knock her off her hooves but, to Twilight’s awe, the Changeling Queen was launched into the air and out of sight with little more than a surprised shriek.

The green magic around Pinkie winked out but, before she could drop to the forest floor, was replaced by a gentle purple sheen.

Twilight didn’t even pause to celebrate her easy victory before turning on her heel and running in the opposite direction the Queen had vanished, trailing Pinkie behind her like a balloon on a string.

“You know,” she panted to the probably-unconscious Earth Pony, “I’m only doing this… because you’re an asset to me.” A branch whacked her in the face, splitting her lip. “No other reason!”

The next moment she burst through the trees and into a small clearing. She breathed a sigh of relief as the annoying branches were replaced by the familiar faces of her fellow clones.

“Girls!” She cried happily, moments before tripping on a lingering root and falling flat on her face. Her magic winked out as her horn met the ground, dropping her floating passenger in a heap a few feet in front of her.

She briefly wondered, snout pressed firmly in the dirt, if she had made a tactical error. After all, she hadn’t known the difference between her ‘Pinkie’ and the original. Who was to say these weren’t the Element Bearers themselves? Seconds away from melting her back into a wooden lump?

“Uh oh,” Came ‘Fluttershy’s’ mocking voice, “Looks like someone didn’t have a nice trip.”

The rest of the ponies erupted into cruel laughter. At least the mystery of their identities was solved.

Twilight groaned in frustration and peeled her face off the ground. “Where have you idiots been?” She didn’t actually care, as long as they were here now, she just wanted to yell at them for something.

“Why, we found the Elements a’ Harmony and took down Chrysalis by ourselves,” ‘Applejack’ confidently told her, looking quite proud of herself, “Then we tossed em in Rarity’s junk pile.”

“And no one can have them!” Rarity hissed, clutching a bag full of… camping gear? Where did she even get that?

Still snickering, Fluttershy added on to the story. “It’s true. Turns out we didn’t need you after…”

She trailed off as she finally noticed the other pony Twilight had brought with her, still lying unmoving on the ground.

“What. The. Buck!” Fluttershy shouted, flying over to the prone pony and examining her intensely. “What in the world did you do to this pony?”

Twilight huffed and climbed to her hooves, her nose throbbed but she dutifully ignored it. “Well, since you asked so nicely. I guess I’ll inform you that I just blasted Chrysalis in the face to save her.” She relished their shocked looks for just a moment. “She’s going to show us the way to the Elements of Harmony but we need to go now.”

“Oh, she isn’t going anywhere,” Fluttershy snapped, whirling on Twilight with such ferocity that the Alicorn actually stumbled back a few steps. “She’s got scrapes and bruises for days, sprained muscles that I didn’t think could be sprained, and I’m pretty sure some of her ribs are cracked.”

“‘M fine…” Came a mumbled response from the downed pony. Pinkie slowly got her hooves under her and lifted herself into a sitting position. Pain twisted her face even as she tried to hide it with a mask of determination. “Twilight-clone is right. We really have to go find my friends before Chrysalis catches up.”

“No!” Twilight and Fluttershy snapped at the same time.

Twilight talked over her because, darn it, she was in charge here. “We are not going to turn ourselves into your silly little friends just so they can do away with us and Chrysalis. We’re going to get the Elements and deal with this ourselves.”

“Oh no, I am not allowing this,” Fluttershy snapped back, “she needs to heal, not go spelunking in the woods!”

“I’m fine,” Pinkie insisted, rising to her hooves, “I can-”

Fluttershy turned to her with a glare so hot it could curdle milk. “Sit down!”

Pinkie instantly dropped to her stomach, eyes wide.

“Oh yes, great idea,” Twilight snarked, “I’m sure we’ll all be healthy and happy when Chrysalis finds us and finishes the job.”

Fluttershy turned back to her, the same unnerving stare on her face, but Twilight wouldn’t be cowed so easily. The two held each other’s gaze for a few tense seconds before Fluttershy turned away with a huff.

“Fine,” she growled, “but she’s still not walking anywhere. Applejack, carry her.”

“Well, Ah… ah would,” Applejack explained rolling her shoulder and giving an over-exaggerated wince, “but ah think ah pulled somethin’ a little while ago and-”

“Fine,” Fluttershy cut her off, “Rarity, you do it.”

“What?” Rarity whined, “But then how will I carry all my new things?” She stroked her heap of camping supplies possessively. “I’m not letting anyone else handle it.”

Fluttershy growled low and deep.

“This is stupid! I’ll just carry her.” Twilight’s magic surrounded Pinkie Pie yet again and securely settled her on her back. The Earth Pony, wisely, didn’t protest further with either Fluttershy or Twilight. She seemed to have finally realized doing what they said was the best course of action for everyone.

The clone Pinkie looked curiously at her counterpart perched on Twilight’s back. “Can someone carry me there?”

Twilight gave her a flat look. “That depends. Do you want to crack your ribs too?” Her horn glowed dangerously. “Because I can make that happen.”

‘Pinkie’ frowned and looked away--muttering some insult under her breath that Twilight couldn’t be bothered to acknowledge.

The Alicorn shifted her back, making sure her passenger wouldn’t fall off, and turned her head to look over her shoulder. “Alright, which way to the Elements?”

Pinkie glanced around, most likely trying to get her bearings after their brief sprint through the trees. Then she closed her eyes tight and tensed up, becoming still for a good few seconds. Just as Twilight was about to repeat her question, the pink pony jerked and sucked in a breath between her teeth as the movement irritated her wounds.

Twilight raised a brow. Odd.

She didn’t get to ask about the strange behavior as Pinkie lifted her hoof and confidently pointed in, what to Twilight, looked like a random direction. “That way!”

With no better options, Twilight set off down the indicated path. “You better not be lying…” She muttered, “I can do a lot worse than Chrysalis, trust me.”

Her passenger had the audacity to giggle. “You know, I think I do, actually.”

Twilight frowned, annoyance creeping back as she walked in silence.

...too much silence.

She whirled back around to find that all of her fellow clones were still dawdling in the clearing. With a burst of pink magic, she yanked all five of them after her. “Move!”

Author's Note

Next Chapter Release Date: Oct. 20th

You're a Dead Mare

The group of clones and one pony walked through the forest in blissful silence. Everypony… clone? Whatever. Seemed to be lost in their own thoughts. ‘Twilight’ relished the silence and the chance it gave her to think. She had a plan to get the Elements, and one for directly after, but no long term goals to speak of. All her moves needed to be mapped out in advance if they were going to succeed.

Unfortunately, she was distracted from her musing by Pinkie-the-clone walking so close to her they almost brushed shoulders. 'Pinkie' was leaning in--studying the passenger on Twilight’s back with scrutinizing interest.

The real Pinkie obviously found this examination uncomfortable--if the nervous shifting on Twilight’s back was any indication. Just as Twilight was about to snap at the two of them to knock it off, the nosey clone had to speak up.

“So you’re, like, the entertaining one right?”

“Ummm...” Pinkie’s relentless fidgeting was irritating Twilight’s coat.

“‘Cause you’re not doing so good right now,” ‘Pinkie’ continued, a hint of annoyance coloring her tone, “I’m bored out of my mind. Isn’t it your job to fix that?” She jabbed her original in the shoulder, as if trying to find an on switch. “Do something interesting.”

Pinkie took a long breath and spoke with such false politeness Twilight was sure she would snap and punch the clone at any moment.

Or break down crying. Honestly, either one seemed likely with her.

“Look, um, clone-me? I really haven’t been having a super great day, and I haven’t had… the best experience with clones before. I’m preeeeetty sure you’re not like the clones I’ve made but-”

“You’ve made clones?” Twilight interrupted, growing tired of the fumbled politeness. In her experience, if you so obviously wanted someone to leave you alone, the best way was to make them.

Twilight could feel Pinkie’s embarrassed flinch, even if she couldn’t be bothered to look back and see it. “Well, hehe, funny story. I kinda created an army of them with an ancient magical pond. Which is a good lesson to not meddle in ancient magic you don’t understand, by the way. But the ones I made were way more… mindless droney than you guys.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” ‘Rainbow’ asked, hovering right above them. “These guys seem pretty mindless to me.”

“Weeeell,” Pinkie hummed as she thought about the question. “For one thing, you guys seem to have more personality beyond just one tiny little goal. With the possible exception of Rarity-clone?”

Everyone, even Twilight, glanced back to where ‘Rarity’ was stoking a lantern and muttering, “mine… oh shiny pretty mine,” under her breath.

“But anyway,” Pinkie continued after a moment, bringing the group’s attention back to her, “You also seem really freaked out about Chrysalis catching you. The copies I made saw their fellow clones get dissolved in front of them and didn’t seem to care at all! Even though they had to know they were next.”

The clones all shivered at the mental image and Twilight picked up her pace.

“So I’m pretty sure you’re not just magical puppets but, like, actual creatures,” Pinkie continued, “That’s part of why I’m helping you guys. Even if Chrysalis made you just pawns for her evil scheme, you don’t deserve to be controlled any more than another pony.”

“You’re not helping us,” Twilight stressed, asserting herself back into the conversation, “We’re using you. It’s completely different.”

“We are?” ‘Applejack’ asked, joining the conversation, “Aren’t we trying not to be used, though? Like she was just saying?”

“Exactly,” Twilight used small words so their slower minds could understand, “We refuse to be controlled and the best way to do that is to be in control ourselves.”

“Oh, does that mean we’re keeping her?” ‘Rarity’ asked, coming up on Twilight’s other side and also examining her passenger, “Because I have always wanted a pony of my own.”

“You know,” Pinkie groused in a light tone, crossing her front hooves over one another and turning her nose up as far as it would go, “I’m a firm believer that there’s good in everypony, but you guys are pushing that theory.”

The little joke got a few chuckles from the other clones, but Twilight could only roll her eyes. They were born out of dark magic, she was pretty sure they couldn’t be ‘good’ by any definition.

“Oh! Stop now. We’re here!”

Twilight halted and glanced around, not finding this particular clearing any different than the others she had seen. The mountain they had been walking towards was much closer now, so rocks dotted the path even more than trees, but there weren’t any Elements as far as she could see. “Where? Is the Tree of Harmony hidden?”

A scoff came from above as Rainbow rolled her eyes. “Look down, genius.”

Twilight did so and stumbled back in surprise. Not even an inch beyond where she had stopped was the edge of a deep canyon that extended under the mountain. The vegetation and rocks had prevented her from seeing it from a distance. Now that she was looking straight down, however, it was obvious that, had she taken another step, she would have tumbled down a long flight of hard stone steps.

“I almost fell! Why did no pony warn me?” She glared accusatorily at the two Pegasi hovering in the air, both of whom would have easily spotted the hole from their vantage points.

Rainbow Dash gave her a flat, uncaring look before shrugging noncommittally.

Fluttershy, on the other hoof, chuckled and smiled cruelly. “I thought a nice tumble would have been good for you, oh 'fearless leader’. And don’t worry, I would have caught our little passenger.”

“I did warn you?” said passenger answered, sounding genuinely confused, “That’s why you didn’t fall?”

Twilight took a deep, calming breath. There was no reason to waste time bickering. They were almost at their goal and she wasn’t about to let a few idiots get under her skin and ruin her plans.

“Fine.” She levitated Pinkie off her back so she didn’t slip as they descended the stairs. “Whatever. This is where the Elements are then?”

The floating pony nodded. “Uh-huh, there in the very back of the cave. It’s a big ol’ glowy tree. You can’t miss it.”

“Then let’s go. Everyone stay close in case the Bearers beat us here.”

Thankfully, the group encountered no other ponies as they descended. They did, however, find a fully operational campsite that a few of them had the great pleasure of tearing down. Much to Pinkie Pie’s dismay if her whining protests were anything to go by.

And farther back into the crevice, in a deep cave, was their goal.

To be honest, when Pinkie had mentioned a crystal tree held the Elements Twilight had been expecting just a little more tree and a little less crystal.

The thing in the middle of the cavern was sparkly and gaudy. Gaudy in that hurts-to-look-at kind of way. It looked more like a star had gotten lost on its way to the sky than it did any kind of plant life. The dark roots snaking into the ground were the only thing keeping it from being an insult to trees everywhere.

Twilight would know, she was at least thirty percent tree herself.

Ignoring the insanity of it all for a moment, Twilight concentrated her sights on the five glowing gems hanging from the crystal branches. "There they are! Everyclone, grab the Elements!"

Twilight rushed forward, not even noticing Pinkie's yelp as she dropped her at the cave's entrance. The clones started attacking the tree with various degrees of effort. Rarity tried to gnaw the purple diamond free with her teeth while Rainbow simply curled up for a nap at the base of the trunk.

Twilight, for her part, gripped the red lightning bolt gem in her magic and yanked with all of her might. And then with more might. She could feel a headache coming on from the power behind her magic but even still the gem would not budge. It was more than just stuck on--it felt like something was actively pulling against her.

So concentrated on pouring as much power as she could into moving the stupid gem, Twilight didn’t even notice the middle of the tree starting to pulse a threatening black aura. She was completely caught off guard as a ribbon of energy, purer than any magic a Unicorn could conjure, wrapped around her torso and lifted her into the air.

Dread filled her as she realized what was going on, catching a glimpse of her fellow clones suspended in similar ribbons around her.

“No no no! Why is this happening?” She cried, thrashing in her bonds. She could tell, at least, what was happening. The energy was tearing her apart. The magic that kept her body together was being ripped away as easily as paper mache, collapsing her physical structure and making her flesh drip off of her like wet glue.

Thankfully, her nerve senses appeared to have gone first. The deconstructing of her inner spell matrix, her soul, hurt less than her split lip. She was dying. And she couldn’t even muster the energy to be worried as her other senses slowly faded from use.

She wondered if her consciousness would leave her or if she’d forever be stuck as a highly intelligent log.

She hoped the others weren’t in pain either.

“Stop stop! Please stop they’re not bad ponies!”

Through the melted lumps that once were her ears, Twilight could barely make out the frantic voice calling below her. She tried to focus her dripping eyes but with her best efforts could only make out vague colors.

The disgusting light blue of the tree, the brown of the cave walls, and a little splotch of pink on the floor.

“I know they tried to steal from you, but they’re really sorry! They didn’t know what they were doing. Please don’t kill them!”

The next thing Twilight felt was her back hitting the ground, a rock jabbing her right between the wings. She gasped desperately for breath as her body started to reform--the changeling magic stitching itself back together now that it wasn’t actively being torn to shreds.

Blinking the fuzz from her eyes, Twilight sat up and focused on the pony who had just saved her life.

Pinkie was standing in front of the Tree of Harmony, a hoof resting on the trunk and the tree’s bright magic surrounding her. But unlike the harsh ribbons that had attacked the clones, this magic was soft and gentle and wrapped around Pinkie with a warm glow.

Before Twilight’s eyes, the Earth Pony seemed to grow lighter. Her nicks and bruises closed and healed, her posture became more stable as she put pressure on the side she had been favoring, and even her coat and mane seemed to smooth out and shine.

When it was all over a joy-filled grin stretched over Pinkie’s face. She giggled, hopped, and finally cartwheeled over to where Twilight was laying, fully healed.

“Hey, you okay there Clonelight? Thgiliwt? Sparkle Twilight?” She cocked her head to the side even as she reached a hoof out to help Twilight up. “Hmm, we’ll work on that.”

“What happened?” Twilight asked, ignoring the Earth Pony’s words but allowing herself to be pulled to all fours. She was relieved to note the others rising around her, seemingly no worse for wear. “Why did the Elements react negatively to us? We are exact replicas of you and your friends. They should work the same for us as they do for you!”

“Well, um.” Pinkie bit her lip and looked over the clones around her. “Maybeyou guys are just like us physically, but the Elements aren’t really bonded to our physical bodies? It’s more of a spiritual virtue thingy.” She leaned in close and whispered in Twilight’s ear. “And, no offense, but you guys are kinda bad at the whole ‘virtues of friendship’ thing.”

Twilight took a deep breath. “So what you’re saying is that we can’t use the Elements and any attempt to even steal them will get us all killed. Is that right?”

Pinkie smiled apologetically. “I’m super duper sorry about that. I really didn’t know the Tree would attack you.”

“Right,” Twilight said flatly, ignoring the pointless apology, “give me a second here.”

Pinkie kept talking, however. “I am super duper glad-”

Twilight proceeded to scream. Loud enough to make the other ponies all jump.

Research has shown that screaming is a healthy way to vent one’s frustration. It was certainly better than trying to blast a hole into an all-powerful murder-hungry tree.

So Twilight screamed, and kicked the ground, and said as many foul words as she knew. Then she cursed the original Twilight for not knowing enough foul words!

Eventually, she had used up all of her screams and stood panting in the middle of the cavern, sweat glistening off her coat.

“You good there, champ?” Rainbow called from her place lying against the wall, “Got it all out?”

Twilight dragged her hooves over her eyes and groaned. “All this way. We came all this way. We found the Elements-”

“And I’ve found you!”

The seven ponies whirled towards the cave entrance, where a fuming Chrysalis stood, glaring at her creations with a deep, burning hatred. She was limping heavily, favoring the side that Twilight had blasted, the tattered wing twitching and smoking.

“And now that you’ve so helpfully led me to the Elements I’ll be taking them for myself, if you don’t mind,” Chrysalis continued with a snarl, stalking further into the cave, “Then, I’m going to melt you traitorous little clones down to pulp and start fresh. I’ll make sure your replacements don’t have so much free will.”

Twilight desperately racked her mind for a way out of this situation. Of course, she had injured the Queen once already, but that had been when she was completely distracted. Now that she was focused on all of them, perceived them as a threat, she was sure to put up a better fight.

“And you!” Chrysalis cried, jolting Twilight out of her thoughts. But she wasn’t looking at Twilight. Instead, she was pointing aggressively at Pinkie Pie. “I’m going to drain you of every emotion in your puny little body! Then I’m going to use your husk as a pinata!”

Pinkie backed up until her flank bumped into the Tree, cowering within the safety of the twisting roots.

She opened her mouth to say something. And Twilight opened her mouth to say anything. But the pony who actually spoke came from the other side of the cave.

“Ya can’t attack us,” Applejack cried, stomping her hoof, “We’ve got the Elements!”

Chrysalis turned to her, hesitating briefly, and Twilight used that window to grab onto a freshly forming plan.

“Of course!” She took a confident step forward and grinned at Chrysalis, selling the lie for all she was worth. “What do you think we’ve been doing? Waiting around for you to show up? As you can see, we’ve mastered the Elements and even captured one of the Bearers. From where I’m standing, we have all the power. Not you.”

Twilight had to stop herself from holding her breath. A lot could go wrong with this plan. Not with her performance, of course, but with every other factor. Chrysalis could have heard her ranting before, one of the others could slip up and give something away or, worse of all, Chrysalis could just decide to take her chances and start shooting. Then they would be in hot water without a paddle.

Chrysalis’ face slowly sunk from rage to confusion as she took half a step back. “You… you’re bluffing! If you’ve harnessed the Elements, then why are they still in the Tree?”

Twilight scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Why would we just have them out of their power source before we need them?” Her smile turned devilish. “But, if you really insist on seeing them up close and personal... Pony, hand me an Element!”

Pinkie jumped as Twilight turned to her. Twilight kept Chrysalis in her peripheral but shot Pinkie a look that invited no arguments.

Thankfully, the pony seemed to be smarter than she looked and, with a light kick of her hindleg, sent the Element of Laughter falling into her open hoof.

Twilight suppressed the wince from just how easily she had done that. Steeling herself for the hardest part of her plan, she turned back to Chrysalis. “Do you want a taste of our new power?” The others gathered around her, moving into a formation that was at once familiar and foreign.

Chrysalis’ eyes were wide. She tried to keep up her determined sneer but Twilight could see her confidence slowly cracking. The Queen’s gaze darted from clone to clone and over to the Tree of Harmony before settling back on Twilight.

Twilight took a step forward. “Since you’re my creator I’ll give you one, one, chance to run.” Her horn sparked dangerously and she steeled herself to even try and pick the Element of Laughter out of Pinkie’s hoof if it came to that.

But it never did. Chrysalis screamed in pure rage and her own horn flared to life. Twilight braced herself to shield her fellow clones from whatever attack was coming as the changeling started to rant.

“You will rue this day! Rue it I tell you! No one double-crosses Queen Chrysalis. You haven’t seen the last of me!”

Then, in a bright burst of green fire, she disappeared. Only a burnt circle of dirt marking that she had ever been there at all.

There was a blissful moment of silence before-

“You did it!”

“Gah!” Twilight choked at two strong white hooves wrapped around her neck.

“I thought for sure that dreadful bug would take all my hard obtained things from me!”

“R-rarity!” Twilight wheezed as she used her magic to pry the Unicorn away from her jugular. “Get off!” Just as she managed to remove Rarity, a strong hoof clapped her on the back, knocking the wind out of her.

"Woo wee! That was a fine lie you wove there, Twilight." Applejack said, beaming with approval.

"I would have liked to actually blast her," Fluttershy added. Helpfully.

Despite their aggressive way of showing it, Twilight couldn't help but to glow in her sisters' praise. She was finally in charge. Chrysalis was gone and completely and ultimately they were free. No one could control them anymore. She felt so pleased she could have joined her sisters in celebrating.

"Pinkie?"

A call echoed through the cavern and immediately silenced the clones.

The voice was familiar. So familiar that it cut through Twilight's fur and chilled her bones.

"Pinkie are you in...here?"

'Twilight' slowly turned to gaze at the cave entrance and stare straight into her own purple eyes.

Six ponies were standing at the mouth of the cavern, frozen in shock.

Twilight, the real Twilight, looked torn between blurting out a million questions and just straight up attacking. And, with the Elements so easily at their call, the clones wouldn't last a minute against the Bearers.

The original Rainbow Dash was the first to speak. “The buck?"

There was no plan, no lie or trick, that could save them.

So the clone of Twilight Sparkle looked to her mother, Chrysalis', example for the first time.

She teleported away.

Author's Note

Next Chapter Release Date: Nov. 29

How to Stay Alive

The-Clone-of-Twilight-Sparkle had never actually teleported before. She had a vague idea of how to do it, a memory that wasn’t actually hers, but no practical practice. As such, she was immensely glad when she found herself in the very first clearing she had ever known; all limbs attached and the right side up.

She desperately wanted to slump on the ground and breathe for a moment, she thought she had earned that much, but knew they weren’t out of the woods yet.

Literally or figuratively.

“Alright alright we have to think,” she muttered to herself, glancing around to make sure all of her sisters had been grabbed in the teleport too. Five other ponies. None missing obvious pieces. Good. Perfect. “What are our assets and disadvantages at the moment?”

“Chrysalis is gone,” Applejack spoke up, adjusting her hat as she regained her footing, “And ah don’t think she’ll be back anytime soon. That’s pretty good, at least.”

“But the Bearers know about us now,” Fluttershy pointed out, kicking a prone stump over in frustration, “So they’re sure to come hunt us down. We’re not that far away either so they could be on us in under an hour.”

“Eh.” Rainbow shrugged and settled onto a nearby branch. “It’s not like they know what we are or anything. They might just think they saw a bunch of random changelings or something. Then they’d be Chrysalis' problem.”

“But we lost the Elements!” Rarity wailed, “And my camping gear! How will we protect ourselves without our things!?! ”

“We form a plan that’s how!” Twilight cried, interrupting Rarity’s dramatics and the rest of the clones’ ponderings. She began to pace, mumbling to herself all the while. “Things look bad at the moment but I can still pull us out of this. If we devise some sort of surprise attack we could catch the Bearers off guard and take their place. Or we could influence them by-”

“Wait wait wait! Why do you have to do something like that, Evening?”

Twilight stopped cold in both movement and words. The voice that spoke was much too chipper, too genuine with itself to be any of Twilight’s fellow clones.

Slowly, as if delaying the visual revelation would somehow change the outcome, Twilight craned her head to look at the group around her.

There were five ponies alright. White, orange, yellow, blue, pink. But bright pink. Energetic pink that was looking at Twilight with a worried little frown and still clutching the Element of Laughter.

Twilight had brought the wrong Pinkie Pie.

She turned away again, briefly, and schooled her features out of terror-filled shock. Twilight had made a mistake, true, but she couldn’t let anypony know that. The most important part of being in charge was keeping everyone else convinced you could do no wrong. So what if this wrecked every possible previous plan? She could improvise!

Placing an irritated frown on her face, Twilight stalked over to Pinkie until the two were nose to nose.

“What? Did you call me?” She hissed at the pony. If she took the situation one issue at a time eventually she’d come up with something brilliant to the real problem.

Being so close to Pinkie’s beam was sure to blind a lesser pony. “Evening! It’s a new name I thought up for you. See, I was thinking about how you said you wanted to be free from Chrysalis and be your own ponies and stuff and I was like; well they can’t do that having the same name as all my friends; so I’ve been brainstorming good names you can have that are all your own. That way you don’t just have to be clones you can be whoever you want to be!” She took a breath and gazed at Twilight with an innocent need for approval. “And Evening just seemed so pretty and mysterious. Perfect for you, you know?”

‘Evening’ took a step back, honestly caught off guard by the thoughtfulness of the gift. A name for herself? She hadn’t even thought about just how important that was. How the thinnest shred of individuality made her feel so much more complete. More real. But she quickly shook her head and returned to sneering before anyone could see her moment of touched weakness. “And why would you think I’d want a name from you?”

Pinkie cocked her head, her smile slipping. “Well, I mean, I guess you don’t have to use that name. But I thought that since we’re friends-”

Evening cut her off with a sharp bark of laughter. “Friends? You think I’m your friend?” She swept a hoof around the woods surrounding them. “Take a look around you, you idiot! I took you away from your friends, to the middle of nowhere, without giving you even a hint of say in the matter. We aren’t friends.” She leaned down until she was once again nose to nose with the real pony. “You are our hostage.”

“Oh! Oh this was your plan!” Rarity cried, pulling both Evening and Pinkie into a sudden hug that left them both scrambling for breath, “Take something for us to have instead of them! That’s the best plan I’ve ever heard!”

“Yes,” Evening wheezed, untangling herself from the Unicorn, “We’ll use her as leverage to make the other Bearers meet our demands. And give us back our Pinkie. I guess.”

“And if they don’t,” Fluttershy added, shooting a cruel smile Pinkie’s way, “Then we get to have some fun.”

Evening raised a brow at her. “What happened to that Momma-Bear act not five minutes ago?”

Fluttershy shrugged and glanced away. “Toys aren’t fun when they’re broken.”

“Why do you even need to threaten my friends?” Pinkie spoke up. Her smile was gone but she didn’t look particularly frightened by them discussing her fate. The frown she wore was more a mix of sad and annoyed. “I thought you guys just wanted freedom, not power.”

“Power is freedom,” Evening explained slowly, as if talking to a particularly dim child, “If you control the world then there’s no one left to control you. The only way you can get what you want is by crushing all competition in your way. That’s how the world works.”

Pinkie shook her head and stuck out her tongue. “Nopie dope. No it’s not. And I don’t think you even believe what you’re saying.” She placed a hoof on Evening’s shoulder, like she was a wise sage telling a little kid that too much candy can make you sick. Evening had to fight the urge to smack her away. “I feel like I’m free and I don’t control anypony at all!”

Evening snorted and brushed her off dismissively. “Then you’re just delusional. Because you’re not free. You’re our prisoner.” She bit her lip and glanced away to stare disinterested in the distance. “Besides even if we did want to try it your way… we kidnapped you. I doubt Princess Twilight Sparkle would even hear out our case knowing we’re villains.”

Pinkie only frowned harder at the logic. “But you saved me! Chrysalis would have killed me if you hadn’t done something! I’m sure if we just go back and explain everything to Twilight she’d make sure you had your freedom no problem.”

“Oh yeah, that’s sure ta work,” Applejack pipped up in a mocking tone, putting on an overly fake smile, “We’ll just stroll up ta her and go ‘sorry we kidnapped your friend here and tried to steal your artifacts, but we’re real nice deep down. Honest!’”

“Well… okay, maybe not just like that,” Pinkie relented, “But if I talk to her and tell her how nice you’ve all been-”

Evening snorted, interrupting Pinkie. “Then she’ll just think we’ve done something to you to make you say that. She has ever reason to think we’re her enemies, including making the assumption that we’re changelings. Peace isn’t an option.” Evening turned back to her fellow clones, signaling to the pony that their conversation was over. “The best thing we can do is steal our Pinkie back and use this one as a bartering tool for power and-.”

“Just try!” She apparently didn’t get the signal.

Pinkie jumped in front of Evening so the clone had no choice but to look at her. “You can’t just give up and be be bad without even trying to be nice. You’re making Twilight seem no better than Chrysalis. If you just gave the ponies a chance…”

Evening met Pinkie’s meaningful look with a flat one. “Thank you for your input but I’m not putting everyclone at risk just for the chance they’d listen to us groveling for mercy.”

“Why’d we even wanna talk to those losers, anyway?” Rainbow asked with a disinterested eye roll, “No offense, but what I’ve seen of ponies so far makes them, like, the lamest things in the universe. And I’ve seen Chrysalis.”

“You don’t have to go to the ponies then. If you wanna be all alone that’s fine! Just don’t attack anyone.” Pinkie kept insisting, looking from clone to clone, trying to find an encouraging face, “You want to be free, right? Well, you can’t do that if you’re running and hiding from everypony all the time. If you just go your own way I can convince the girls to leave you alone. You could just go and be… idunno… hermits or something.”

“Would you just think for one second?” Evening snapped, her patience running thin, “We’d be completely defenseless and in the dark! If anyone ever decided we were a threat then we would be sitting ducks with no way to fight back.”

Pinkie blinked, as if she had just realized something. “Oh, well if that’s what you need then we can fix that! Defending is way easier than attacking. Just take this.” She thrusted her hoof towards Evening and all the clones collectively jumped back.

Still tucked within the pink pony’s grip was the shiny blue gem of the Element of Laughter.

Fluttershy dropped into a defensive stance, wings spread wide and legs crouched as if to pounce. “What the buck do you think you’re playing at? That thing tried to kill us!”

Pinkie cocked her head in confusion and glanced down at the gem. “What? Nuh uh, that was the tree. The Element of Laughter won’t hurt you.” She giggled to herself. “Especially if I give it to you instead of you trying to steal it.”

Evening’s eyes narrowed. Her horn was lit just at the edge of a defence spell. “And you think we can trust you on that? You didn’t think the tree would attack us either.”

Pinkie flinched and bit her lip at the accusation. “Okay… uh that was a bit of an oopies on my part. But I’ve barely been around the tree! It’s a weird thingy that’s like a billion years old. But Laughter...” She pressed the gem to her cheek and smiled. “I’ve had this baby for a long time. It’s my friend! I know it’ll never hurt you.”

Evening relaxed, almost unconsciously. She didn’t know why, for all intents and purposes Pinkie was her enemy, but she trusted the weird Earth Pony. If she was confident that the Element wouldn’t hurt them, then Evening believed her. But that didn’t mean she’d drop her suspicious glare. “Then why give it to us? Surely if you know it as well as you say you could use it to escape?”

“Oh, probably,” Pinkie agreed with a rapid nod, “But I wanna make sure you guys are going to be okay if I just leave. If you take this with you then you can just Harmony Zap any bad pony that tries to hurt you!”

All five clones stared at her as if she had just spoke of running to Canterlot and spitting on the Princess’s face. She was just… handing it over. Essentially a weapon that they would undoubtedly use on ponies Pinkie wouldn’t usually label ‘bad’. And she was just giving it to them.

“Why would you do that?” Rarity piped up, “Why would you go out of your wayto help us?”

Now it was Pinkie’s turn to stare, but it was a strange look. A combination of pity and genuine confusion that made Evening feel almost embarrassed to be on the receiving end of. “Duh! Because you’re my friends!”

***
Twilight Sparkle, the real one this time, had already gone past panic mode and was now heading down the slippery slope to a full blown freak out. Not only was her perfectly planned picnic completely ruined, her friends all on edge from fighting in the forest, the Element of Laughter missing, and Pinkie apparently kidnapped, but now she was dealing with potentially the most annoying bundle of changeling magic ever known to pony kind.

The thing that looked like Pinkie, in a very sad funhouse mirror type of way, had been absolutely and completely uncooperative in helping Twilight understand what, exactly, was going on. No matter what information she tried to wheedle out of it, the magic construct would only answer like a bored student who never even glanced at the homework.

A disregard for everything sacred in this world.

“So,” Twilight tried again, breathing deeply in an attempt to keep herself under control, “You’re saying that, somehow, even though you are saturated with changeling magic, you are not, actually, a changeling? Is that correct?”

Twilight had never seen such a strong expression of contempt in her life.

“If I was a changeling why would I be in this boring Earth Pony body?” The not-changeling flopped onto her back with a groan. “Having magic would make this situation at least a little exciting. Cause right now it’s sooooo boring.”

Twilight felt a strand of mane pop out of place. She was unsure if the thing was insulting her, Pinkie, or somehow both at once.

“Well… at least now we know why everypony was acting so weird,” Dash spoke up giving Fluttershy, who hadn’t talked to her the whole walk there, a hopeful grin, “Just some mistaken identity... again.”

“I guess,” Fluttershy sniffed, rubbing her eyes clear of leftover tears, “It… does make more sense that changelings were involved than everyone just being mean all of a sudden…”

“I suppose that is comforting,” Starlight remarked from where she was inspecting the Pinkie-imposter, “But what are these things? And what’s their plan?”

“Heck if I know,” The Pinkie thing mumbled, rolling onto her side when Starlight experimentally poked her, “Planning’s boring. I don’t pay attention to that stuff.”

Twilight felt like her emotions were being pulled apart between the comforting relief that none of her friends were actually mad at each other and the burning frustration that their only clue was almost entirely a dead end. “Listen, you... whatever you are. If you don’t bring Pinkie back safe right this moment than I’m going to-”

She didn’t get to finish her most likely disingenuous threat before a bright flash of light interrupted her and the cavern was suddenly six ponies fuller.

When she had finished blinking the lights out of her eyes Twilight was face to face with her own grumpy looking reflection. A reflection surrounded by mirror images of the rest of her friends and holding a bright blue gem suspended in her magic.

“We surrender,” said reflection said, right before Twilight was knocked over by an excited pink missile.

Author's Note

Alright so I know it's been a bit longer than I promised. But! It's out now and that's what really matters.

I really like writing the clone-six a ton and I can't wait to see how their personalities keep growing as I keep writing them.

Discussion Question: Which clone is your favorite so far?

Edited by Shipmun

That's the Name of the Game

“Pinkie, I don’t know if this is such a good plan.”

Pinkie cocked her head. So far, everything had worked out better than she had hoped. Evening and the other clones had agreed to give living peacefully a shot while the rest of Pinkie's friends had all taken the long-winded explanation Pinkie had given them in stride. Things seemed to be going perfectly so she didn't understand why Twilight was upset. “What’s the problem, Twilight? Everypony seems to be getting along really well.”

“It ain’t a dang Element you lyin’ toad! It’s a hat! Everyone can see it’s a hat!”

“Nah, I’m definitely wearing the Element of Truthy or whatever on my head. Yer just too dumb ta see it.”

Pinkie ignored the shouting from the next room of the palace even as Twilight’s lips pursed with worry.

“Pinkie, it isn’t that I don’t trust your judgment, I do, but I’m not sure if we can trust them. Chrysalis made them with the single purpose of getting revenge on us. They're practically living dark magic for Celestia’s sake!”

“Psh,” Pinkie dismissed with a wave of her hoof, “That doesn’t mean anything. I was made with the purpose of taking over my family’s farm and that didn’t happen. Trust me, you gotta pump out a lot of kids to run those things.”

Twilight didn’t seem convinced. “That’s different. These aren’t even real ponies. I know they were able to hold the Element of Laughter without any side effects and they seem to have their own personalities but what if the changeling magic is just that good? All of their nice tendencies could be cleverly crafted lies.”

Pinkie grew grim. She didn’t want to but sometimes Twilight got too wrapped up in her own head and theories. In those cases, the only way to get her to listen was to be super-duper serious and a little teeny bit mean. “It didn’t seem like a lie when they stopped Chrysalis from killing me.”

It worked. Twilight completely stopped. All the twitches in her wings and nervous pacing froze. Pinkie could practically hear the gears in her friend's brain screech to a halt as Twilight finally looked her in the eye.

Then Twilight hugged Pinkie. And Pinkie hugged her back because it was kinda mean to scare Twilight like that and she was fine now so Twilight really shouldn’t be worrying so much. Even though she definitely would be. For a while.

“I’m sorry,” Twilight said, her face pressed into Pinkie’s shoulder, “I don’t want to judge them too harshly. I am glad they saved you. I just don’t want anyone else getting hurt.”

“Aw, Twilight there’s no need to worry,” Pinkie reassured her friend, not releasing the hug as Twilight made no move to do so herself, “I know they seem kinda prickly and mean at first but they’re really nice when you get to know them. And all they wanna do is be their own ponies. I think they’ve even all picked out names by now!”

Twilight chuckled a little in disbelief and finally pulled away. “Yeah, I know. ‘Evening’ is fine, but I don’t think Fluttershy’s clone can stick with ‘The Better Fluttershy’. It might cause problems.”

Pinkie giggled too. “I think she just finds it funny. They’re like newborn babies! They aren’t sure where the line is sometimes.”

Twilight’s smile fell and she chewed nervously on her lip. “That’s what I’m afraid of. I’m not going to… get rid of them or lock them up or anything but I am worried about just letting them run loose across Equestria with no guidance or supervision.”

“Without… oh, Twilight!” Pinkie laughed at that. “Hehe, that’s a good one Twi-Twi!” She expected Twilight to be laughing with her but her princess friend was only giving her a baffled look as Pinkie clutched her sides.

Pinkie stopped laughing slowly and gave Twilight a raised brow and teasing smile. “...wait… were you serious about that? Twilight, don’t you own an entire school dedicated to teaching and guiding creatures that don’t really know what friendship is yet?”

Twilight stared at her for a good couple seconds, blinking rapidly, before she hit herself in the face and groaned. “Oh, sweet Celestia I am so stupid.”

“Nah,” Pinkie reassured her, springing up off the floor and patting her friend comfortingly on the back, “You just got stressed out and forgot about some stuff. Happens to the best of them.”

Twilight gave a smile back but it was small and disappeared quickly as she let out a long sigh and slumped to her haunches. “This is going to be challenging. Ignoring how confusing it’ll be to have a double of the teachers walking around as students-”

“They’re not doubles,” Pinkie interrupted with a frown, “They’re their own ponies. They just… look like us is all.”

Twilight stared at her for a long time with an expression that Pinkie couldn’t quite read before she sighed again and nodded. “Yes. You’re right. But even so, it’s going to be an awkward conversation to have with the other students… not to mention the EEA is going to be breaking down my doors over this.” She paused and stared at the ceiling in contemplation. “Or maybe they won’t? I honestly have no idea how those guys think.”

“And who cares what they think!” Pinkie added, throwing a hoof around Twilight’s shoulders and pulling her back to her hooves, “Our job is to make sure everyone who wants to learn about friendship has the opportunity, right? Not please a bunch of stuffy-pants Unicorns.”

This time, Twilight’s smile was stronger, if not still a tiny bit scared as she leaned over to nuzzle Pinkie’s cheek. “What would we ever do without you?”

“Guess you’ll never find out,” Pinkie declared, throwing the doors back to the main room open, “Now let’s tell everypony the good... news?”

The sight that greeted them could only be described as chaos incarnate.

Except they knew chaos incarnate personally so Pinkie could say with confidence it wasn’t exactly that either but it was pretty darn close.

In one corner of the room was relative peace. Clone Pinkie and Clone Rainbow Dash, who had both not chosen names yet, had a single bowl of popcorn from the multitude of snacks left out for them and were idly munching away at it. They watched the rest of the room with amused smirks, a sharp contrast to the worried fidgeting Fluttershy was doing next to them.

The rest of the snacks had disappeared to the other side of the room where an impressive book fort had been erected. ‘Jolene’, though she had changed her name so many times Pinkie wouldn’t be surprised if it was already something else, was hunkered down inside the fort. She was surrounded on all sides by snacks, blankets, clothing, cooking gear, and a whole other host of knick-knacks one could easily swipe from a princess of friendship’s castle. So great was her bounty that it honestly looked like she couldn’t move much besides her head, which she was using to its full extent to verbally and magically fight off Rarity who was trying to pry a dress from her clone’s fort.

Applejack and ‘Crispin’ were standing off to the side spitting out a heated argument.

Well… it seemed like Applejack was arguing. Her clone, however, was simply leaning against the wall with a giant smirk on her face, countering every point Applejack made with lies filled of cheeky confidence.

Rainbow Dash and ‘The Better Fluttershy’ were in the air, screaming at each other so intensely it was almost impossible to make out what they were saying.

And poor, sweet Evening, was trying her darndest to settle the escalating situation.

“Would you all shut up! I can’t hear myself think over here! You dumb farm hick she’s just messing with you she isn’t as stupid as you are!”

Evening was doing a really bad job of it but Pinkie knew her heart was in the right place.

Twilight cleared her throat loudly. There was something about being an immortal being of immense powers that made ponies stop what they were doing really fast when you cleared your throat. Everypony immediately turned to look at her and the fighting pairs quieted down as Twilight frowned all disappointedly at them.

“So, good news clones, we have decided to let you enroll in our School of Friendship for the time being. With the intent to help you learn how to fully function as members of society,” Twilight said in her lecture voice, “I know it’s not the immediate ‘freedom’ you said you wanted but I think if you give it a chance you’ll find that friendship can open many doors for you.”

Evening snorted. “You can cut the crap. It’s obvious you just want to keep an eye on us to determine if we’re a threat or not.”

The rest of the clones grew uneasy at this statement and Twilight’s frown grew deeper. She opened her mouth, probably to counter Evening's theory, but Pinkie jumped in before the argument waiting below the surface could fully form. “But to sign up for school everycreature needs a name! Have you all picked one out yet?”

“Yes!” The white Unicorn in the book fort called excitedly, successfully pulling attention towards herself and away from the two glaring Alicorns. She pulled out a thick book from her horde and started to read. “My name is now ‘Well - Prince - Genoa - and - Lucca - are - now - no - more - than - private -”

“Oh give me that!” Rarity barked, ripping away the book from Well - Prince - Genoa - and… okay yeah, that name was a bit too long, “Your name can’t just be an entire book word for word!”

“But I want to have all the names,” the clone whined, “And that’s the biggest book I could find.”

Evening groaned loudly and turned to her fellow clone with an irritated scowl. “Why don’t you just name yourself ‘Infinity’ if you want everything? It means everything forever, you know. Then you don't have to spend an hour introducing yourself.”

The other clone hummed to herself for a moment, rolling the idea around in her head, before nodding with a beam. “That’s perfect! From now on I shall be ‘Infinity; Everything Forever’!”

There were no verbal objections to that and Pinkie took it as a good sign. She turned her sights on the next nameless clone she saw, hovering in the air. “What about you? I know you kinda picked one out but I really think you could find an even better one.”

The yellow clone flipped her long mane out of her face. “I do want to change it, actually. My new name shall be…” she smirked, seeming to bask in the attention before finishing, “‘Fluttershy is a Slut’.”

Rainbow’s face went so red Pinkie was sure it would pop like an overfilled water balloon. “You can’t say things LIKE THAT!”

“You’re right, that’s too long.” The poorly named Pegasus tapped her hoof to her chin, seemingly unbothered by Dashie’s yelling. “Sluttershy is much more condensed.”

Pinkie glanced at Fluttershy herself to see how she was handling the insults. But the real pony only seemed mildly concerned by the ordeal. Though she wasn’t speaking up she also wasn’t even trying to hide under the table or anything.

Then Pinkie looked to Twilight. Part of her almost hoped the Alicorn would step in if things got too out of hand, but the other part recognized the very real possibility that Twilight might drop the entire plan altogether if the clones proved to be too much of a danger to her friends.

And getting into a brawl with Dashie might just cross that line.

“Hey, um, that sounds really creative,” Pinkie spoke up, catching the attention of the two Pegasi right before Rainbow could throw a punch, “Buuuuut, maybe try to pick something without a bad word in it? There are a lot of kids at this school.”

The clone sighed dramatically and rolled her eyes. “Well, I suppose I can keep thinking.”

Pinkie beamed at her gratefully and turned to her next victim. “What about you? Have you picked out a name yet?”

The rainbow maned Pegasus sitting down stared at Pinkie with half-lidded eyes before rolling her head to drape over the back of her chair. “I don’t care what ponies call me. You just pick something.”

“Oooo!” Pinkie bounced up and down with excitement, ignoring the dubious looks the others were giving her and the blue clone, “I’m good at picking out names! Let’s see, hmm, you’re still pretty rainbowy so how about... Prism! Wait no, Spectrum! Oh oh Parade!”

“Parade?” Twilight asked, one brow raised in question.

“What?” Pinkie shrugged, “Parades are really colorful and fun! She’s just like one.”

“More like the rains on parades…” Rainbow Dash muttered, still glaring at Not-Fluttershy.

Pinkie gasped, ignoring the rude wing gesture the blue clone gave her counterpart. “That’s perfect! Raining Parade! How do you like it, huh, huh? We can call you Parade or Raining or Rain if we’re really really close!”

The newly dubbed ‘Raining Parade’ lifted her head to blink dully at Pinkie before turning away with a scoff. “Whatever. Do what you want.”

Pinkie beamed and, feeling more confident now, turned to the last clone in the room. “And what about you? Should I pick out a name for you too?”

The pink clone stuffed more popcorn in her mouth and shook her head. “Nah, I’ve decided on one. I think I’m going to go by Pinky Py.”

Pinkie blinked and felt her smile slipping. “You can’t do that, silly, that’s my name. We can’t have the same name, ponies will get confused.”

“No, Pinky Py, with ‘Y’s. Completely different,” the clone clarified, before shaking her head with an annoyed frown, “But I don’t see why I have to change my name at all. Why can’t I just be ‘Pinkie Pie’ and you change it, huh?”

Pinkie’s breathing sped up, just a bit, and she was fighting to keep her expression at least a little positive. “Because I’m Pinkie Pie. And you’re a different pony than me. So you have to have a different name. Don’t you… I mean, don’t you want your own identity?”

The other pink pony rested her chin in her hoof and eyed Pinkie critically. “I dunno. Maybe I’m the real Pinkie and you’re actually the clone. Ever think of that? I think you should be the one to change names. Not me.”

Pinkie tried to find words to counter that but she was too caught up with keeping herself from thinking too hard.

After a moment the pink clone’s mouth twitched into a small smile and she glanced away from Pinkie to the air above her. “You’re right. This is kinda fun.”

Not-Fluttershy snorted. “Of course it is. These ponies are so easily irritated. It's almost child's play.”

“Okay!” Twilight called, clapping her hooves together loudly and causing everypony to jump, “I think we should come back to this conversation later. Spike should be finished preparing the spare bedrooms by now so why don’t I show you where you’ll all be staying until we get things set up with the school, hmm?”

Infinity instantly burst out of her fort, sending stuff scattering everywhere and dashed towards the door. “Oh oh! I call the biggest room! And I am not sharing with any of you.”

“That’s fine,” Crispin called, following after her, her tail flicking in Applejack's face as she passed, “Ah already found someplace ta stay anyway. A big palace made a’ diamonds.”

“This is a palace made of diamonds, doofus,” Parade replied with an eye roll.

One by one, the clones ventured deeper within the castle. Twilight, after giving one last concerned glance back at her friends, quickly followed after them.

Pinkie jumped as a wing softly brushed her back and finally registered Fluttershy standing right by her side. “Are you okay, Pinkie?” She asked, her eyes soft with concern.

“Psh.” Pinkie pulled away from her comforting touch with a dismissive wave of her hoof. “Of course, silly. It’s just a little teasing. All in good fun.”

Fluttershy didn’t look entirely convinced at that. But she stopped staring like Pinkie was one of her sick critters and instead turned to address the rest of the room. “They seem… um… interesting, don’t they?”

“If that’s what you want to call it…” Rarity muttered, her magic already setting to work clearing up the mess Infinity had made and hiding the damaged books where Twilight wouldn’t find them.

“I’m gonna kill her…” Rainbow muttered to no one in particular, “I am seriously going to kill her.”

“Aw, come on guys.” Pinkie gave a little hop and forced her voice to have more pep then she was necessarily feeling, “Sure, they’re a little rough around the edges but I know they’ve got some good souls deep down inside them.”

“No, you’re right.” The five ponies jumped and turned to face the door the clones had left through. Evening was still standing there with her default irritated expression. “They’re all horrible little devils built out of dark magic and with instincts to cause havoc and misery.” She kicked the door closed and walked back to the center of the room with an eye roll. “But this is the land of friendship and forgiveness and blah blah blah. I'm sure it'll all turn out just fine.”

“What are you still doin’ here?” Applejack asked, eyeing her suspiciously.

Evening gave her an incredulous look. “What? You think I’m just going to do whatever you tell me to like your own little dog? ‘Oh, come here so we can discuss your fates.’ ‘Oh, now go to sleep so we don’t have to think about you for a while.’ Yeah, no. I may have agreed to play nice but I am not following your rules.”

“Then what are you planning to do?” Fluttershy asked with a soft frown, “I don’t think Twilight would like you just wandering Ponyville. It might… um… confuse ponies.”

“Of course not. I'm not stupid enough to think I'd get away with that.” Evening spread her wings like a majestic peacock preening for an audience. “One of you will simply have the great pleasure of giving me a tour of your lovely little backwater town.”

Applejack shook her head. “Can’t help ya there. Ah still got chores ah put off for our campin’ trip. Now that ah’m back ah gotta pick up the slack.”

“I also have things to do, I’m afraid,” Rarity added, having finished sorting Twilight’s things, “If I’m no longer needed I simply must get back to work.”

“I can take you! I know everything there is to know about Ponyville,” Pinkie spoke up, hopping over to Evening’s side. She already felt better at the prospect of welcoming a new pony to her home. Maybe she'd be able to start planning a party.

Evening smiled a little at her and Pinkie felt even better knowing the clone was looking forward to it just as much as she was.

“Well, if Pinkie’s going then I’m coming too.” Rainbow landed between the two of them and turned to glare at Evening. “Someone needs to keep an eye on you. Maybe I can even show you one or two things.”

Evening’s face instantly dropped to a cold expression. “Fine. I suppose it’ll be interesting to see how different you are from ‘Parade’ anyway. Who knows, maybe you’ll be insufferable in an entirely new way.”

“Ooookay.” Pinkie squeezed herself in between the two glaring ponies and locked them both in a hug. “If Dashie’s coming with us it’ll be twice as fun! Let’s get this Ponyville adventure started!”

"Do you... need me to come along?" Fluttershy asked, "Because I can if you want but there's a sick little snake I want to check up on..."

"We'll be fine, Shy-Shy," Pinkie reassured her, "It's just a little tour around Ponyville. I've done thousands before."

Fluttershy shifted nervously. "Well, if you're sure..."

"Of course I'm sure." Pinkie tugged gently on Evening's mane. "Come on come on, let's go!"

"Ow, okay, slow down I'm coming. This was my idea in the first place."

Rainbow rolled her eyes as she followed after them. "This is gonna be a long tour."

Author's Note

Happy Easter!

You know, I really love writing from Pinkie's perspective. She has such an interesting view point on everything and a unique way of thinking that it's very fun to dive into her head.

I hope I broadcasted a little more of the clones personalities here. They're all such interesting characters that, even though their the side show, I don't want to leave them underdeveloped.

If Your Friends Jump Off A Cliff...

Evening did not know a creature could talk this much without passing out.

When the tour of Ponyville had first started Evening had tried to pay close attention to everything Pinkie Pie told her. After all, maybe some piece of trivia would prove vital later if she ever needed to escape these ponies. Everycreature knew gathering intel was the first step to any good plan and even if Evening didn’t have a plan currently that didn’t mean she couldn’t get a head start on one.

But after the fifth identical house in a row with at least two rambling stories attached to it, Evening doubted anyone could handle the tsunami of information she was currently receiving. Either Pinkie had a godlike memory or she was making every detailed event up on the spot.

Evening didn’t know which scenario was more impressive. Or disturbing.

At the very least Rainbow Dash seemed to share Evening’s sentiment about the situation. Her eyes would glaze over and unfocus or lazily watch the clouds as her friend rambled on and on. When something semi-interesting caught her attention her ears would perk and she’d come back to the present for a minute or two before fading out again.

Evening felt a strange sense of justification knowing she wasn’t the only one finding this activity extremely tedious.

“And this is SugarCube Corner. The pastry shop where I work part-time and live full!”

The sun was in a rather unfortunate angle so Evening had to squint and shield her face to see the indicated tourist attraction. It was a large building, almost three stories tall, and was designed in a way to make it look like a fully edible gingerbread house. The colors were bright and intense, catching the eye even in this candy-colored town. There was a cheery-looking sign of a cupcake hanging out over the road, indicating to all just what could be found inside.

“Of all the things you’ve told me on this trip, Pinkie,” Evening said, “this is the only one I have no trouble believing.”

The building, and even the whole town to some extent, struck Evening as both repulsive and foreign as well as comforting and homely. It was a strange collection of emotions that she simply pushed out of mind before the contradictions could give her a headache.

Pinkie giggled. “Come on, come on. You’re gonna love it!”

“Hey, Pinks,” Rainbow called, landing in front of Pinkie before she could pronk through the door, “How about after a quick snack we mix it up a bit and I show Evening the sights around the edge of town? There’s plenty of cool stuff there that not even you know about.”

Pinkie beamed at her so brightly Evening almost missed the sun in her eyes. “Sure Dashie, that sounds great!”

Rainbow let out a sigh of relief as she followed Pinkie inside. Neither one glanced back at Evening to see if she would follow and for a moment Evening debated just turning around and exploring on her own, away from her overly talkative pony guides.

Before she could make a decision, however, Pinkie popped her head back outside. “Come on, Evening! You’ve never been to Sugarcube Corner before so you’re in for a really good treat.” She then gasped loudly, as if she had just discovered a horrible tragedy and grabbed Evening by the neck, pulling her close “Evening… you were born yesterday… you’ve never had any cupcakes before, have you?”

“I… have vague memories,” Evening explained, trying to pry the over-enthusiastic pony off of her neck, “from Chrysalis and even Twilight herself. I know what cupcakes taste like.”

“But you’ve never had them yourself,” Pinkie stressed, pulling Evening into the sweet shop proper. “And that is a crime! A crime I say!”

Evening rolled her eyes and just let herself be dragged to her sugary doom. “Well, add that to the list then. My crimes against sweet things are forever growing.”

“Aww!” Pinkie said, beaming at Evening as the two stopped next to Rainbow in front of the counter, “You called me sweet!”

Evening opened her mouth to protest. Then closed it. She shook her head with a scoff and raised her snout over dramatically. “How dare you accuse me of compliments. Do it again and I’ll kidnap you a second time.”

Pinkie giggled and bounced around the counter and into the kitchen, presumably to acquire their cupcakes personally.

Evening gazed around the quaint sweet shop idly but stopped when she noticed the leer Rainbow Dash was shooting her way. Evening raised a brow in silent challenge. “What’s wrong with you?”

“Don’t joke about stuff like that,” Rainbow said, moving into Evening’s personal space and jabbing her in the chest, “It’s not funny that you tried to hurt Pinkie.”

Evening brushed her hoof away. “I fail to see how that’s any of your business. Pinkie didn’t get upset in the slightest.”

“It’s my business because Pinkie’s my friend,” Rainbow explained icily but thankfully backed off physically, “And I don’t let my friends get hurt.”

“Oh, but Rainbow Dash, aren’t I your friend now?” Evening fluttered her lashes sweetly. “I’m turning over a new leaf. You’re supposed to be there to guide me, aren’t you?”

“Sure,” Rainbow snorted, “If you don’t break my trust I’ll have your back like anyone else’s.” Her eyes narrowed again and she crossed one foreleg over the other. “You clones sure aren’t doing a great job in that department, though.”

Evening rolled her eyes. “Oh yes, I can see your dilemma. My Fluttershy made a few crude insults to yours. That completely negates the fact that we saved your Pinkie’s life. Very ‘Loyalty’ of you.”

Rainbow opened her mouth to snap something back but was interrupted by Pinkie Pie popping up in between the two. She had a tray of mixed flavored cupcakes in her hooves and was beaming at them both.

“Are you excited? This is Evening’s first cupcake ever, Dashie! A big moment.”

“That is pretty big,” Rainbow agreed, snatching a pastry off of the tray. “Nothing beats your treats, Pinks.”

Pinkie giggled at the compliment before turning her full attention to Evening. “You ready? I got a whole bunch of flavors here so you can find your favorite!”

Evening eyed Rainbow Dash around Pinkie’s energetic smile. The Pegasus seemed content to ignore Evening now as she was happily going to town on the cupcake she had chosen, not even sparing a glance to the clone.

With a mental shrug, Evening returned the favor and ignored her to instead gaze at the platter Pinkie was practically shoving in her snout.

There was a smorgasbord of flavors represented. From plain vanilla to concentrated rainbow spice. Evening inspected all of them carefully. From memories that weren’t hers she could recall liking chocolate and hating anything overly messy and dripping. So, armed with that knowledge, she plucked a red velvet cake and took a quick bite out of it.

Having food in her mouth was weird. The flavors definitely tasted like she’d remembered them but in a… warped sort of way. There was still that sweet/bitter flavor of red velvet but also more… acidic? It moved oddly on her tongue, like the part of her that was plant life and pure magic was rejecting the idea of physically eating. It wasn’t bad, per se, but it was surprising and definitely not her favorite.

“Sooooo, how is it?” Pinkie asked, leaning closer as if trying to peer into Evening’s mouth and see the flavors she was tasting.

“It’s okay,” Evening answered, taking another lackluster bite. She had no idea if she actually had to eat for sustenance but she figured it was better to be safe than suddenly passed out in the middle of the street.

Rainbow snorted a genuine laugh. “That’s a pretty mild reaction. Most ponies flip the first time they eat one of Pinkie’s cakes.”

Evening shrugged. “Like I said it’s not like I don’t know what they taste like. It’s as good as I expected it to be.”

“But you like it?” Pinkie asked, her eyes wide and anticipatory.

Evening took another bite as she thought it over. “Yeah, I guess I do.”

“Eeee!” Pinkie squealed as she wrapped Evening in another hug, almost knocking the half-eaten cupcake out of her magic, “I’m so glad! We’ll have these all the time when you come to the school.”

“Great,” Evening choked out, shoving the Earth Pony off of her. “You are very generous with those hugs. Shouldn’t we get going?”

“Heck yeah,” Rainbow said and gently assured Pinkie towards the door, “Let’s go see something cool.”

“Is the tour going to last much longer?” Evening asked, throwing away the cupcake wrapper as she followed the two out of the sweet shop. Littering was a crime for peasants.

Rainbow smirked at her over her shoulder. “Why? You got someplace better to be?”

Evening opened her mouth before closing it again lamely. “I suppose not. But maybe anyplace is better than around you.”

“Hey,” Pinkie called, jabbing Rainbow’s side as the three emerged from Sugarcube Corner and back onto the streets, “no fighting.”

“Wha?” Rainbow cried indignantly, taking to the air to get away from more scolding pokes, “I didn’t do anything. She’s the one being rude!”

“But you have to set a good example,” Pinkie explained while Evening giggled victoriously behind her, “Evening’s just a newborn baby. If you aren’t nice how is she supposed to be nice?”

Rainbow opened her mouth to protest but, when Pinkie continued to glare at her, closed it with a grunt. “Fine… I’ll be nice to the little baby.”

Evening was going to fry a Pegasus for that comment. She mentally sorted through the backlog of magical spells she instinctively knew and was immensely disappointed to find Princess Twilight Sparkle, savior of the world at least three times over, did not actually have that much combat experience.

However, she did have a spell for rapidly growing facial hair. So that was… useful.

Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, Pinkie seemed to think the situation resolved and was back to all smiles. “Great! Now we can finish seeing everything in Ponyville! Isn’t there something you wanted to show Evening, Dashie?”

“Huh? Oh yeah.” The Pegasus was snapped out of her glaring contest with the clone and quickly donned a proud smirk as she posed in midair. “You think you’ve seen Ponyville now but you’ve only seen the mainstream parts of town.”

Evening had to wonder how big this seemingly small town had to be if that two-hour walk had only covered the main area.

Very small considering the amount of surface area they had actually covered in that time was probably equivalent to a buckball field.

“Now I’m going to show you the cool parts that barely anypony knows about. You should feel honored.”

Evening rolled her eyes as the Pegasus blasted off and the other two followed with diametrically opposed levels of enthusiasm. I swear if she shows me a cloud or something I’m going to lose it.

***

It wasn’t a cloud. But it was, in fact, just as underwhelming.

“Isn’t this the sickest thing you’ve ever seen?”

Rainbow had taken them to the base of a cliff at the south end of the village. It was taller than anypony would want to fall from but smaller than some trees in the Everfree Forest that grew a few leagues away.

There was no convenient way to climb the sheer rock that Evening could see and she pointed that out to her guide. “What are we supposed to do here? Wait for a rock slide?”

Rainbow only gave her an odd look. “Uh, we’re going to the top, duh.” With that she gripped Pinkie around the waist, causing her to giggle in excitement, and ferried her up through the air.

Evening watched them for a good few seconds before she realized she was expected to follow and no one would be coming back to give her a ride. With a groan of annoyance, she spread her wings and struggled after the fast-moving Pegasus and her package.

The short flight made Evening realize just how strange and foreign her body was.. While her magic was insanely more powerful than she could have ever imagined, her physical ability was disappointingly lacking.

Even so, she managed to fly up the cliff and land next to Pinkie on the relatively flat top without completely embarrassing herself. So wins all around.

“You ready for the time of your life?” Rainbow Dash boasted from where she peered over the opposite edge they had gone up from, interrupting Evening’s subtle attempts to regain her breath.

“Not a high standard at this point,” Evening answered after a moment, trotting over to see what had the Pegasus so fascinated. She sighed when all that she could see was a large pond far down below. “And yet, you still manage to miss the mark.”

“Don’t be like that,” Pinkie said, playfully shoving Evening’s side and almost making her tip off the edge, “Dashie’s right, this is the best diving spot in all of Ponyville.”

Evening turned to said Pegasus with a raised brow. “Why would you need a diving spot? Couldn’t you just fly as high as you want and use a cloud or something?”

Rainbow waved a hoof dismissively. “Yeah, but where would be the challenge in that? This way you gotta make sure you jump far enough to avoid all the rocks.” She nudged Evening and gestured to the water down below. “Five bits says you belly flop hard.”

Evening rolled her eyes and turned away. “As… tempting of an offer that is, I didn’t really come out here for a swim. Shouldn’t we be seeing more of your quaint home town?”

Rainbow huffed. “Fine then. If you want to be lame about it. Maybe next we’ll go to my crib so you can see what awesome really looks like.”

And there’s the inevitable cloud.

Evening peered over the edge again. “Hmm, in that case maybe I’ll drown myself.”

“Well, maybe-GAH!”

One moment Rainbow Dash was leaning over the edge of the cliff with her, the next the Pegasus was plummeting over the side, limbs flailing wildly in an attempt to right herself before she crashed into the water below.

“Parade!” Pinkie spoke up behind Evening in a scolding tone, “That wasn’t very nice at all.”

Evening looked over her shoulder but only managed to catch a glimpse of blue and other colors before she was roughly shoved in the cutie mark and sent sprawling over the ledge.

“Aaaaah!” She definitely did not scream on the way down.

SPLASH!

The water surrounded her and she had a few brief moments of pure terror.

The first was that the sensation of water soaking over every inch of fur, making her heavy, clogging her ears and mouth, dragging her down, felt remarkably like when her flesh was being melted off of her structure by a vengeful friendship tree.

Thankfully, some part of her vague memories reminded her what being wet in general felt like and shut up the newly formed memories with their superior knowledge.

Once she had managed to get over that initial panic she was already a few body lengths under the water and the thought struck her that she didn’t know, consciously, how to swim. She tried to relax and just let her instincts take over but the panic still in her brain and the shock of the cold water overwhelmed her and the most she could do was thrash violently as she sunk deeper and deeper into the depths.

She didn’t know which way was up. She didn’t know how to swim. She was melting. She was going to-

Something jabbed her in the side and Evening instantly froze up, scared and confused and not wanting to be spotted if it was some large predator that somehow found its way to the bottom of a landlocked lake.

Panic really was making her stupid, wasn’t it?

She felt something wrap around her barrel, right under her forelegs, and start dragging her to the light up above. Thankfully, she managed to maintain enough rational thought to stop thrashing and just go limp, letting whatever was pulling her to simply take her away.

She broke the surface only a few moments later, sputtering and gagging. Her instincts finally managed to kick in and she began to paddle enough to keep her head afloat.

“Hey!” a voice yelled directly next to her, causing her ears to flatten, “What do you think you’re doing, you bonehead? You could have hurt somepony!”

Evening glanced over to where Rainbow Dash was floating next to her, glaring up at the cliff above even as one hoof was still wrapped around Evening’s barrel, keeping her from sinking back under.

“Whatever,” Parade snapped back, gliding down until she was hovering just above their heads, “It wasn’t interesting anyway. You both just kind of… fell. Fluttershy doesn’t know what she was talking about…”

Rainbow squinted suspiciously at her clone. “Your Fluttershy isn’t here is she?”

“I don’t know,” Parade answered, lazily flipping onto her back mid-air, “I just thought the castle was lame so I came to see if Evening was doing anything cooler.”

Evening would have been flattered, really, if she wasn’t trying to spit water out of her lungs. “Can you get off of me? I can swim on my own now…”

Rainbow Dash glanced at her before shaking her head. “In a second.”

Evening growled and kicked her legs irritably. “What in Equestria could you be wait-”

“Geronimo!”

Another wave of water washed over Evening, dunking her back under. Thankfully, she was dragged back to the surface almost immediately by Rainbow Dash and was released as soon as she took in another lungful of air.

“Now I can let you go,” Rainbow Dash replied as she paddled away from Evening and over towards the shore, “Nice splash Pinks, but I would have beat you if I had a fair chance.”

Pinkie giggled even as Evening glared at her.

“At least somepony had a good time plummeting off a cliff,” Evening gripped, following Rainbow to dry land.

“I didn’t know you were going to freak out,” Parade said, following just overhead. Evening was sure that was the closest thing she would get to an apology from the Pegasus so she only answered with an irritated snort as she crawled onto the sandy beach surrounding the lake.

Rainbow Dash, however, was not done being upset. “Why did you think pushing us off was a good idea?” She snapped as she shook water out of her coat and feather, “It’s not a diving board, you have to jump or somepony could get hurt!”

Parade squinted at her. “You can fly, can’t you? Why didn’t you just catch yourself?”

Rainbow rose into the air to better push her snout into her clone’s face. “Because I didn’t expect to be shoved without warning!”

“Sounds like you just have slow reaction time.”

Evening tuned them out as she finished clambering out of the water and onto sweet solid ground. A splash next to her turned her attention away from her sandy salvation and to the pink pony following her. Pinkie Pie had a smile on her face as she practically bounced, bounced, where Evening was crawling, obviously not a care in the world.

“Pinkie,” Evening said evenly, staring down the pony with dead seriousness once she had gotten her footing, “Do not laugh, just answer. Am I melting?”

Pinkie, to her credit, she didn’t seem put off by the question. She eyed Evening with grave scrutiny before shaking her head. “Nope! Don’t think so. You do kiiiinda look like a drowned cat though.”

“Good,” Evening said and then proceeded to shake herself harshly, spraying water off her coat and into the air around her. When she finally stopped she looked up to find an also completely dry Pinkie beside her, trying desperately to hold snickers back behind her hoof. “What? What’s so funny?”

“Nothing!” Pinkie said while very obviously laughing, “You just look like a big purple porcupine.”

Evening glanced down at herself only to see every inch of her hair sticking up at odd angles, making her look like a sentient ball of fur more than a pony. With a huff Evening lit her horn and quickly smoothed her coat and mane down until she once again looked presentable.

She glanced up to where the two Pegasi were still fighting and couldn’t help but roll her eyes. It seemed that Rainbow Dash loved nothing more than to shout at ponies who had no desire to listen. Maybe she just liked the sound of her own voice? That seemed probable.

Pinkie had followed Evening’s gaze but instead of bored annoyance her face held a worried little frown as she shifted from hoof to hoof.

Evening sighed, ponies were so annoyingly hard to maintain. She tapped Pinkie on the shoulder to get her attention and gestured back in the direction of town. “Let’s continue. I think they might be there a while.”

“I don’t know…” Pinkie replied, her eyes drifting back to the two rainbow Pegasi in the air.

Evening, however, had not meant it as a request and was already trotting away, predictably forcing Pinkie to rush after her lest she wanted to be left behind.

“Do you think, Dashie’ll be okay?” Pinkie asked once the two had rounded a corner and their companions were out of sight.

Evening snorted. “Rainbow Dash? I’d be much more worried about Parade. It seems like Dash was a wrong word away from hitting her.”

“Mhmm,” Pinkie hummed in response. She gave one more worried look over her shoulder before shaking her head and putting her smile squarely back into place. “I’m sure they’ll be okay. What did you want to do now, Evening?”

Evening eyed her a moment before letting out an annoyed huff and turning her head away. “I wanted to speak to you about something, actually. Now that tweedle dee and tweedle dumb aren’t on our tails.”

“That’s rude.” Despite her words, Pinkie giggled a bit. “Which is which?”

Evening flashed her a smile that was more bared teeth than anything else. “Unfortunately, the dumb one is still next to me.”

Pinkie giggled some more even as she tried to hold a mock offended look.

Evening’s face fell as her eyes narrowed. “You think me teasing your friends is funny. You think teasing you is funny.” It was meant to be a simple fact but Evening was afraid it came out as more of an accusation.

Pinkie shrugged, unconcerned. “Well, yeah! Friends poke fun at each other all the time.” She leaned in, as if telling Evening some deep secret. “Plus, Dashie gets really cute when she’s all flustered and defensive like that. And you should see Twilight’s face when she tries to tease back. Priceless!”

“But back in the castle,” Evening continued, trying to stop the conversation from getting derailed too far, “you were upset when my Pinkie was teasing you. And not just irritated like everypony else. Actually upset.”

Pinkie blinked dumbly at her before shaking her head, her smile not dropping an inch. “Yeah, I guess I kinda was. But it’s okay! I know she didn’t actually mean anything by it. It just… caught me off guard is all.”

“But why?” Evening prodded deeper, not willing to let the topic go so quickly, “What was different about what she was saying?”

“Why do ya want to know?” Pinkie asked back, her face a mixture of amused and curious, “You aren’t planning on using my weakness against me are you? Huh huh?”

The tone was light and playful, obviously nothing more than another tease, but the question stopped Evening in her tracks.

Why did she want to know? Why did she care? If one of these lowly ponies got offended by something her fellow clones said what was it to her? Was she supposed to kiss it better and beg for forgiveness?

No. Her motivations were purely scientific. Simple curiosity. Evening had toted Pinkie around like a particularly beat up kite for a good chunk of the afternoon and the pony hadn’t seemed the least bit put off by the situation. But one joke about stealing her name and she looks like she’s being hunted by Nightmare Moon herself. Something didn’t add up.

Shaking her head, Evening huffed and continued walking. As if she hadn’t just paused to contemplate her own motives at all. “Isn’t that something a ‘friendship student’ should know? Where the line is in teasing?” No reason for anyone to know her internal monologue, however. Knowing her true intent might motivate Pinkie to be less than forthcoming with the whole truth.

Pinkie nodded as she followed Evening’s random path back towards town. “That does make a lot of sense. Okay, let me try to explain it.” She tapped a hoof to her chin and hummed in thought for a moment before answering with a question. “Do you remember how I told you I had an experience with clones before?”

“Yes.” Evening already didn’t like where this was going. “But you said they were nothing like us, not even sentient, so I fail to see the issue.”

“Well, they weren’t,” Pinkie confirmed, “but they sure did look a whole awful lot like me. They looked so much like me, actually, that no one could figure out who was the original. Not even me!”

Evening raised a brow so high she swore it would fly right off her face. “You didn’t know if you… were you? How did you manage that?”

Pinkie flushed and averted her gaze, kicking at the ground with her hoof. “I know it sounds pretty silly right now but it was really scary and confusing when it happened. The clones had some of my memories so I didn’t know if the memories I had were real memories or just magically duplicated memories... and it didn’t help that everypony else was treating me like a pest…”

The other eyebrow quickly followed. “A pest? What exactly does that mean?”

Pinkie winced and quickly looked back up. “Did I say that? Sorry, that was probably really harsh. The clones were just… really destructive. They were hurting ponies and causing a ton of damage. It made sense that ponies reacted… harshly to them and tried to make them go away as fast as possible.”

Evening’s brow came down to furrow into a tight glare. “So these ponies treated you like crap just because they thought you were a clone, hmm? Very comforting. Strong case of friendship indeed.”

“It wasn’t like that at all,” Pinkie protested with a pout. “The clones were hurting ponies, Evening. Plus... I think they were actively trying to replace me? I don’t know how much they could actively do anything but it sure felt that way. Like they were trying to get me to think I wasn’t real so they could… I don’t know, steal my life or something?” She shuddered a bit and looked down to idly draw patterns in the dirt. “I guess when your Pinkie was teasing me it just… reminded me of all that and I got worried.”

Evening took a deep breath through her nose, trying to maintain her composure despite the idiocy she was currently facing. “So the clones were giving you an identity crisis and on top of that your ‘friends’ were treating you more or less like, what, a raccoon going through their garbage?”

“Psh,” Pinkie pshed and waved her hoof as if dismissing the topic entirely, “It really wasn’t that big of a deal, I promise. It’s just one of those things that bothered me but I never ever thought would come up again so I didn’t, um… process it right, ya know?” She shrugged sheepishly. “I’m really sorry it had to interfere with you guys settling in, though.”

Evening stared at her. She was shocked, and appalled, and couldn’t even understand why. But some reason the story struck something… wrong within her. “No, I don’t know. How can you dismiss something like this? It’s obviously been affecting you this whole time. Why…” She glared suspiciously and took a step back. “Why did you help us if being around clones made you so uncomfortable?”

Pinkie stared blankly. As if something Evening had said during this entire conversation was completely nonsensical. “Because… you guys looked like you needed help? And besides, it’s not like it was your fault that happened. Holding a grudge this long over something you weren’t even around during sure seems silly, doesn’t it?”

No. Not at all. Evening had been born with grudges. With hatred that wasn’t her own. She still despised Starlight Glimmer in a completely illogical way and felt the itching need to get revenge on something. “Well, what about your friends? They didn’t stop my Pinkie from making you uncomfortable and it seems they escalated the original situation to a horrible point. Don’t you despise them for putting you through that? For adding to your suffering?”

“What?” Pinkie asked, completely perplexed, “Of course not! Sure it wasn’t a great time, for anypony, but my friends were trying to look out for me. Even if they got some things wrong, they didn’t mean to.” The smile was back now, bright as ever. “Everything turned out alright in the end. That’s all that really matters, right?”

“No,” Evening countered, “of course that’s not what matters! You were used by these other clones and… and betrayed by your so-called friends! You can’t just be okay with that!”

Pinkie frowned at her. “That’s going a bit far, don’t you think?”

Evening was pacing now. Something to get the energy that was building inside a release. “I don’t think it’s going far enough. How can you just stand there and let ponies that hurt you get away with it? How can you continue to let others use your weaknesses against you and not even say anything, let alone try and stop them?” She turned to Pinkie with a glare so fierce it actually caused the Earth Pony to back up a few steps. “What is your game? Do you want the world to walk all over you or are you too stupid to see that everypony is taking advantage of you!?”

Pinkie stared at her as Evening fumed in her face. “Are… are we fighting? Why are we fighting? When did this happen?”

“Answer me!” Evening demanded, stomping her hoof in frustration, “Why would you ever interact with a creature that has been hostile to you in the past?”

“Well, that’s easy,” Pinkie said brightly. “Everypony deserves a second chance, don’t they? Even if they were mean before it doesn’t mean that you can’t still be friends!”

Evening stepped back. “That’s… that’s exactly what that means you… you…GAH!” She couldn’t find any more words. Her frustration had reached a boiling point and it had nowhere to go in the face of Pinkie’s ever present happy-go-lucky smile. With one final scream of frustration her wings opened seemingly of their own violation and she burst into the air and away from the cause of her ire.

Evening didn’t know where she was going as she ignored Pinkie’s confused shouting behind her. There had been a tension building in her for almost the entire day and she felt she needed to do something besides walk around aimlessly. She didn’t even think about flying, despite how difficult it had been only a few minutes prior, instead just letting her body take her wherever it wanted to go.

Pinkie didn’t make any sense and things that didn’t make sense grated on Evening’s brain like a dagger. How could she be so cheerful? So… so forgiving? It defied all logical reasoning! Just in the past day Evening had known the Earth Pony a few egregious things had happened to her and yet she still carried on and helped others like she hadn’t a care in the world.

Helped Evening… despite her very clearly not deserving it.

Evening groaned and angled down to land a bit roughly. That was the problem, wasn’t it? If Pinkie had been holding a grudge over what had happened, was simply lying to Evening to keep her in line until the time was right, then the guilt that she had been aggressively ignoring would evaporate away and Evening would be free of it.

But that obviously wasn’t the case. Pinkie felt no ill will towards those she considered friends, even if they had assisted in hurting her. The offer of friendship was a genuine one.

Without realizing it, Evening had landed back in Ponyville proper, near Twilight’s castle and school. She folded her wings to the side and, with a roll of her eyes at the glittery insult of plant life, started to walk away. Despite the tour she had just been on she honestly didn’t think she could find her way back to Pinkie Pie again, even if she wanted to. But that certainly didn’t mean she was going to march right back into the Princess’s hooves if she could help it.

Lost in thought, it took Evening an entire block to realize she wasn’t walking alone.

“Gah!” she yelped, jumping back as she noticed the pony practically hugging her flank with how close they were keeping pace, “Parade! What in Equestria are you doing here?”

“I followed you when I noticed you flying off,” the Pegasus answered, looking around with disinterest. “I thought you had the right idea ditching those losers.”

Evening huffed and looked away to better watch where she was walking. “Well, I hate to disappoint but I’m not doing anything interesting either. Unless you count wallowing in guilt as the highlight of your day.”

Raining Parade raised a brow at that. “What do you have to feel guilty about? We were born, like, ten hours ago. What could you have done since then?”

“Oh I just aided in the torture and kidnapping of somepony who instantly forgave me,” Evening explained bluntly. She pressed her hooves into her eyes and groaned loudly. “When I get carted around like a prop I plan revenge the next second but when I throw the behavior back on somepony else it’s all dandy and ‘water under the bridge’. Gah, it doesn’t make sense.”

“Uhg,” Parade gagged, making Evening snap her head around to glare at her, “That’s the lamest thing I’ve ever heard. If you don’t want to feel guilty just don’t.”

Evening gazed at her flatly. “Truly no wiser words have ever been spoken. All my problems are solved.”

“I’m serious.” Parade glared right back and even shoved her nose into Evening’s face like her livelier counterpart was wont to do. “Why care that much about what other ponies think? So you wanted revenge on Chrysalis but Pinkie doesn’t on you. Big whoop. Neither of you are morally superior for how you react to crap. You’re just having stupid emotions. Stop caring so much about what emotions you should be having and move on with your life.”

Evening blinked owlishly at her for a moment before furrowing her brow in confusion. “...how was that actually good advice?”

Parade rolled her eyes heavily and retreated out of Evening’s personal space. “It’s not. It’s just advice. Sheesh, you are way too worried about the whole ‘moral high ground’ thing.”

“That isn’t wha-”

“Miss Sparkle!”

Evening jumped at the sudden call and Parade’s eyes slid unenthusiastically to the skinny Unicorn trotting purposefully towards them, a few large Earth Ponies following behind him in an obvious show of force.

“Miss Sparkle,” The white Unicorn repeated once he had gotten closer, “I’m glad to have caught you. I have a few more…” He paused once he was almost on top of them and squinted at the two clones with obvious distaste. “Wait a moment… you aren’t Miss Sparkle at all, are you?”

“She could be,” Raining Parade answered in a dull tone of voice, “Evening hasn’t chosen a last name. Who knows which pony she’ll decide to lamely attach herself to next.”

Evening shot the Pegasus a glare.

The stallion drew back, looking between the two with obvious disgust. “Uhg, more detestable changelings of all creatures. I suppose you two are students at Miss Sparkle’s laughably called ‘school’, then?”

Evening liked this pony less than all the others she had met so far. She wasn’t sure why, exactly, as she agreed with everything he had said so far. Changelings were detestable and the school they were supposedly being enrolled in only sounded good enough for a laugh. But the way he talked… as if he thought he was better than her. And nopony was better than her.

“I suppose we are…” Evening replied testily, eyeing the strange pony and his bodyguards critically. His appearance wasn’t triggering any kind of recognition in her hazy half-memories so he most likely wasn’t even important to Twilight Sparkle or Queen Chrysalis. “I don’t see how that’s any of your business, whoever you are.”

“Listen here bug,” he sneered, leaning into her personal space, “I am the head of the EEA!” Evening had no idea what that meant. “A respectable member of this society. I am here to make sure there are no threats to the kingdom happening in Equestria’s most vulnerable population.”

“Isn’t that, like, the Royal Guard’s job?” Parade asked, looking like she couldn’t care less about the answer. “You look more like a towel someone forgot to dry than an upholder of peace or whatever.”

He took a step back, eyeing Evening and Parade like one would a disgusting yet fascinating bug squished on the underside of one’s hoof. Then a triumphant smirk covered his ugly snout. “You know, I think impersonating royalty counts as a considerable crime. Especially when done by enemy spies. Seize them!”

Both Evening and Parade took a step back as the two large Earth Ponies advanced on them. They seemed perfectly ready to indeed seize them and drag them off to who knows where to be locked away from who knows how long.

Evening lit her horn and crouched down at the ready. If they wanted a fight then she wasn’t about to disappoint them.

She was just about to fire off some spell at the closest attacker when-

“Hey!”

A rainbow blur slammed down in between the two groups, kicking up a good cloud of dust in the process. Rainbow Dash spread her wings wide like a shield as she faced the aggressors, blowing them back a few steps with her explosive arrival.

“What the buck do you think you’re doing, Neighsay?” Rainbow demanded with almost a snarl in her voice.

The Unicorn, Neighsay, recovered from his shock better than his lackeys, who were now worriedly whispering between themselves, and pointed an accusatory hoof at Evening and Parade. “Miss Dash, these two criminals-”

“Are my students,” Dash interrupted with a snap, “And I thought Twilight told you to stop hanging around here and harassing them?”

Neighsay stomped her hoof like a foal throwing a tantrum. “I will not have monsters infesting Equestria under my nose!”

“And I…” Rainbow continued, taking an aggressive step forward. The two goons backed up with her advancement, as if scared of the tiny Pegasus. “Will not have a two-bit noble jerk running around and, what? Kidnapping random students? You don’t have the authority to arrest any creature and you know it. So get out of here before I throw you out of town on your prejudiced flank.”

Neighsay’s white face turned red as he tried to keep himself from screaming. “She is threatening me! Guards! Do something about this.”

The two hired muscle glanced at each other before back at their leader. “Uuuh,” said one of them, slowly taking another step back, “You sure about that? This is… this is Rainbow Dash herself, boss.”

Evening would have thought Neighsay would keep fighting but instead he just huffed loudly and turned up his nose. “Fine. But I will fix this horrible excuse for a school, mark my words.”

“Uh huh,” Rainbow drawled, folding her wings back now that the situation was de-escalating, “And I’ll be here to stop you every time.”

The Unicorn huffed once more for effect before snapping his tail and walking off. His two bodyguards quickly followed after him, seemingly wanting nothing more than to get away from Rainbow Dash as fast as possible.

Rainbow rolled her eyes with a snort as she turned back to Evening and Parade. “Weirdos. I swear if I have to see his ugly mug one more time…”

“Whatwas that?” Evening demanded the moment she was sure the other ponies were out of earshot.

Rainbow blinked and furrowed her brow. “What was what?”

“That!” Evening insisted, waving her hoof in the air in an attempt to gesture the entire conversation that had just occurred, “Why did you just… just… defend us like that? You didn’t have to do that. You don’t even like us for pony’s sake.”

Rainbow made a face like Evening had just said something completely and utterly insane. “What are you talking about? You’re my students, of course I’m going to stick up for you.” She trotted past them, ignoring Evening’s slack jaw stare. “Now come on, you left Pinkie hanging and she’s completely freaking out thinking she did something wrong.”

Author's Note

This is... a very long chapter. I did not expect it to be this long but uuuuuh I hope you like long chapters.

I'ma be honest with you all. I always thought the Two Many Pinkie Pie's episode was about Pinkie dealing with an identity crisis and not about like... the clones. I was very confused when I saw everyone just talking about how Twilight killed all those clones and stuff and not how that experience might have impacted the ponk.

But now I'm writing a big ol' story about clones so I guess the jokes on young 2013 me. Clones are cool and interesting.

Lavender Alicorn Syndrome

“So! Orientation!” Princess Twilight Sparkle dropped a thick stack of binders on her desk with an echoing thud.

The clones groaned almost completely in sync as Twilight started to flip through the top binder. Pinkie couldn’t really blame them. When Twilight had first pitched the idea of the school to her friends she had made them sit through multiple logistic meetings and trainings and blah blah blah boring. At least this was, hopefully, the last super boring part before the clones were officially enrolled.

“The last thing we need to do before you can go to classes is finish all your paperwork,” Twilight continued, flipping open one of those binders and picking up a quill, “and we still don’t have names for two of you so… that first.”

“I believe I submitted my name change last night,” the yellow Pegasus in the room said, idly examining her hoof.

She was, actually, the only yellow Pegasus in the room. Besides the clones, the only creatures in attendance of this meeting were Spike, Princess Twilight, and Pinkie herself. Twilight thought it’d be better if they kept things on the smaller scale after the first party ending with a lot of yelling and little productivity.

Pinkie was almost a little tiny bit jealous of everypony else. They got to go teach all those cute kids about love and friendship and fun! And she got to stay here. Going over paperwork.

“Yeah, you did,” Spike snapped. He was standing right next to Twilight’s desk, glaring at the clones in annoyance. He’d probably be in a better mood if Twilight wasn’t making him hold even more documents. “Thankfully, I burned it before anypony sensitive could see that mess.”

Twilight blinked and turned to Spike with a baffled expression. “Wait… I didn’t see any form from her. Or approve the destruction of legal documents.”

Spike didn’t turn to her. Didn’t so much as flinch. He really did make a good table. “Exactly my point.”

All the clones burst into laughter and even Pinkie couldn’t help giggle along with them. But she stopped once Twilight shot her one of those patent pending Princess Scolding glares and gave flashed back an innocent smile.

“Anyway.” Twilight’s voice had a slight growl to it now. Not a great sign. “That doesn’t change the fact that I need names. We have Crispin Apple-”

“I’m actually Applejack’s cousin’s mother’s sister in law,” Crispin piped up, “so I’m full Apple by blood.”

“What?” Twilight jerked back, jarred out of her lecture mode and back into the real world. “No you aren’t… what?” She shook her head and turned back to her list. “Never mind. That… doesn’t matter. We have Crispin Apple and Raining Parade, Infinity, Evening-”

“Star,” Evening interrupted with an awkward clear of her throat that she tried to play off as natural.

Twilight squinted, her face screwed up in annoyance at being interrupted yet again. “You want to change your name to ‘Star’?”

“I want to add Star,” Evening elaborated. She made eye contact with Parade for a moment before scowling and turning to face a wall with an air of indifference. “A last name.”

That caused Twilight to perk up. “Oh? Oh! Well, we can do that easily. Let me just…” She teleported a single file out of the mountain in Spike’s arms and scrawled something on the side of it as well as on the page she had originally. “There! All set with that. Now… what about you? Do you have any names to submit?”

The pink pony she was pointing to, who was not Pinkie Pie, gave Twilight a flat look. “Bite me.”

Evening’s wing jerked out and jabbed her roughly in the side, making the other clone wince.

“Ow! Sheesh.” The pink clone huffed and rubbed her side in irritation. “Fine. I do have a name… You can call me Vanilla Dream.” She waved a hoof in the air lazily. “‘Cause vanilla is the boringest flavor and I’d rather be asleep. Yay. Can I go home now?”

Pinkie couldn’t help a sigh of relief escaping her that she hadn’t even realized she was holding. She caught Evening’s eye and gave her friend a grateful smile. Evening rolled her eyes but there was a look of satisfaction in the gesture.

“I have another idea to submit,” the yellow Pegasus said, pushing a few paper’s off of Twilight’s desk and leaning over it so she was almost breathing directly onto the Alicorn’s muzzle, “How about Private Pansy? But maybe you wouldn’t like that?” Her gaze slowly trailed across Twilight’s body, making Twilight squirm and clench her wings tightly to her side. “What with all the mares you keep around… not very private about your pansy, are you?”

Twilight’s face was practically collapsing under the weight of her blush as she did her best to glare over her wide eyes. “You are not-” she squeaked and then cleared her throat so the next sound came out more of a growl. “You are not naming yourself after your-”

“I think that’s a great name!” Pinkie interjected before the two could delve into the argument Private desperately wanted to have.

Twilight choked on her own spit. “W-what?”

Even Pansy looked confused as she turned to look back, hanging awkwardly off of the desk. “You do?”

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. “Yeah! Private Pansy was a great historical figure. She helped found Equestria with her willingness to look past her first impressions of ponies and help out someone in need. That’s just like you! You helped me when I needed it even though the only thing you knew about me was I was Chrysalis’ enemy. That was super brave of you.”

The newly named Private Pansy’s face went through a very interesting journey. Confusion, frustration, disbelief, a twitch of happiness, and finally settled on annoyance. She shoved herself off the desk and into the air with a huff. “Darn. You ponies really are no fun to tease. Too dumb for your own good.”

Pinkie ignored the insult as she glanced back over at Twilight. She was rubbing her face with her hooves in a way that was meant to appear casual but very much wasn’t. The Alicorn was also mumbled to herself under her breath as she scrubbed the blush from her cheeks.

“Of course it was a fine name… just trying to get under your feathers… come on Twilight pull yourself together you’re better than this…”

Pinkie locked eyes with Spike who was the only other creature close enough to notice Twilight’s distress. Widening her eyes in concern, Pinkie jerked her head towards their mutual friend. Spike furrowed his brow and glanced between Pinkie and Twilight rapidly. That caused Pinkie to blink. Nodding grimly in response Spike shifted the papers in his arms and gave her a pointed look. Pinkie frowned with worry and nodded back.

“Well!” Spike said loudly, catching the attention of every other creature in the room. “I think all the logistics are pretty much taken care of. Why don’t I show you guys to your first class while I drop all these documents in filing?”

Twilight’s head jerked up to stare at him. “We aren’t done yet! What about-”

“That can all wait until later,” Spike insisted, waddling across the room and somehow managing to not drop a single paper, “Come on, Rarity teaches the absolute best class.”

“Oh goodie,” Vanilla snarked as the little dragon ushered her and the others through the door, “schooling. Just what comes to mind when I think of fun.”

Despite the grumbling, the clones filed out without resistance. Only Evening glanced back and locked eyes with Pinkie, raising one eyebrow in a silent question.

Pinkie smiled reassuringly at her and gave a friendly wave in goodbye.

Evening rolled her eyes, which Pinkie was pretty sure was just her way of smiling back, and followed after her fellow clones.

As soon as the door shut behind them Pinkie turned to Twilight and leaned on her desk. “Hey Twily, what’s up? Is something wrong?”

“What?” Twilight asked, shuffling papers around on her desk and straightening those that were already perfectly straight. “No, no, nothing’s wrong. Why would anything be wrong? Is something wrong with you because there definitely isn’t anything wrong with me.”

Pinkie pursed her lips and shook her head. “Nopey dope. I’m all good. But your mane’s getting that sticky-up style and you’re breathing kinda fast.”

Twilight took a deep breath through her nose and patted her mane with a hoof. It only made more hairs pop up from the static but she was trying. “I’m fine. Really I am. I just have… so much organizing to do and no idea where to start.”

Pinkie cocked her head. “But you love organizing! Why is that a bad thing?”

Twilight tapped her hoof on the desk in less of a thinking way and more of a nervous tick sort of way. “Organizing is good when you're putting set things into a logical order. But I don’t know how to go about writing the paperwork out for the clones. They’re unlike anything I’ve ever seen and it just… don’t make sense!”

“How come?” Pinkie asked, peering at the paper filled desk as if one of them would hold the answers. Even if she wasn’t trying to read them upside down, however, she didn’t think she’d be able to understand the complicated jargon anyway.

“They aren’t…” Twilight started and then groaned in frustration, “They aren’t… real… creatures…”

Pinkie’s head snapped up to glare disapprovingly at her. “Twilight!”

“They aren’t!” Twilight protested back, “Nothing about them is like any other creature I’ve ever seen! Instead of being a thaumaturgical collaboration of external force and inner mana that’s directed through the body based on biological structure it’s more like a few spells that should not be compatible working together on a highly conductible object.” Twilight looked up, her frantic gaze meeting Pinkie’s confused blinking. “Okay, okay, okay, it’s like this. You know how Unicorns have energy inside them that they can manipulate and shape into spells?”

Pinkie nodded hesitantly. She hadn’t… actually known that. Unicorns did fancy magic with their horns. That’s all she had ever needed to know about how magic worked but Twilight’s explanation made sense on a slightly more detailed level.

If Twilight saw her hesitation she chose to ignore it as she steamed ahead. “Well, Infinity and Evening don’t have that. There is no magic inside them they’re manipulating. There are only precalculated spells superimposed on top of them.”

Pinkie gasped, hooves flying to her face. “So they aren’t going to be able to do any magic???” She then blinked and lowered back to all four hooves. “Wait… that doesn’t make sense. Evening teleported.”

“Yes, exactly,” Twilight said, nodding as she tapped a hoof rapidly on her desk, “they can still use spells but only the spells already built into their magical chemistry. Evening can use more because I can use more but neither of them can ever learn any new spells.” She stood up now and started pacing back and forth behind her desk. “And that’s only the Unicorn aspect. The Pegasi can’t do anything more complicated than basic flight and cloud walking because they can’t actually manipulate the weather magic around them. And the Earth Ponies. Don’t even get me started on the Earth Ponies.” She stopped and turned to Pinkie with wide eyes. “Seriously, don’t get me started on the Earth Ponies. Earth Pony magic is already extremely complicated and I don’t even want to think about the logistics of super imposing it on… onto an artifact.”

Pinkie’s face twisted into a frown. “But they aren’t artifacts! They’re living creatures with thoughts and feelings and stuff!”

Twilight barked out one short strained ‘ha’. “They sure are! Complex artifacts taken from us. Our DNA! This is a PR nightmare.” She moaned and tugged at her mane. “Not only is this going to be impossible to get past the few members of the E.E.A that still like me but I don’t even think the Princesses are going to be on board with this! ‘Your majesty I’m keeping dangerous artifacts in my school. It’s fine though! They’re students!’ That’ll go over. So. Well!”

“Twilight!” Pinkie cried again, stomping her hoof and managing to stall the Alicorn out of her frantic pacing. “None of that matters. Not really. They’re creatures that deserve a home and friendship. And you’re the Princess of Friendship! It’s… it’s important we give it to them.”

Twilight stopped and stared, blinking dumbly as her frantic thoughts that must have been swirling in her head for days screeched to a stop. “I… you’re right. Yeah, you’re right… I just… it’s hard. I don’t know what I’m doing and… and I’m scared of messing everything up…”

“Aww,” Pinkie reached out and wrapped Twilight in a hug. She didn’t pull away but she didn’t return it either. “You’re super duper stressed about this, aren’t you?”

“Y-yeah…” Twilight said, so softly Pinkie wouldn’t have heard her if she wasn’t pressed against her, “Chrysalis is still out who knows where, the E.E.A is actively trying to tear this school down, and… I think I’m going to disappoint the Princesses when they find out.”

Pinkie patted the top of her head reasurrably and this time some of the mane did stay down. “Maybe you need a vacation? Take a break from all of this stressful stuff if it’s weighing so hard on you.”

Twilight snorted and pushed her friend’s hooves off. “I can’t do that, Pinkie. I still have so much to do and the whole school to run…”

Pinkie shook her head and smiled wide. “You don’t have to worry about that stuff! You got us and Starlight and Spike. We can all look after the school when you’re away. And if you go visit your brother and Princess Cadance then you can tell one Princess and not feel stressed about that either.”

Success! A little smile creeped onto Twilight’s face at the suggestion. “Maybe… it would be nice to get away for a bit…” Then the frown returned full force, “But I can’t just leave everyone alone for who knows how long. What if... something happens?”

Pinkie rolled her eyes and giggled. “We can handle it. I know we aren’t as paperwork oriented than you but I’m sure we can-”

“No,” Twilight interrupted, staring intensely at Pinkie, “Not stuff like that. What if… I’m not here to protect you. All of you.”

Pinkie moved her smile to something softer and placed a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “We can handle that stuff too, Twilight. We’ll all be together. It’ll be fine if you need to take some personal Twilight time.”

Twilight licked her lips and glanced away. Oh dear. Was Pinkie going to have to do something tough to convince Twilight to take care of herself? Tough was not Pinkie’s strong suit.

But, right before Pinkie was ready to bust out the facepaint and talk in a gravelly voice Twilight let out a snorting laugh and shook her head good naturedly. “You know, I think I will go on a vacation. After all, if Chrysalis does attack I guess I can rely on the clones to save you again, huh?”

Pinkie’s beam threatened to split her face as she nodded rapidly. “Yeah! See, there’s no reason to worry, Twi-Twi. You should go so you don’t keep getting all frowny about everything.”

Twilight gave an over dramatic huff but her small smile didn’t leave. “I am not all frowny! But you have to promise not to blow up the place while I’m gone. Oh… and Spike’s going to want to come see Shining and Cadance too once he hears about this… so promise not to shred all the paperwork while he’s gone.”

Pinkie giggled and gave a salute. “Aye, aye captain Twilight!”

Twilight giggled back and waved her off. “Okay, okay, get out of here. You have a class to teach and I’m sure the clones could learn some jokes that don’t make me want to throttle them.”

“Okie dokie loki,” Pinkie replied, bouncing out the door, “have a good time on your vacation Twilight.”

Twilight waved yet again as Pinkie trotted out of the room and shut the door behind her. The alicorn definitely needed a vacation. That was one of the first genuine smiles Twilight had shown in hours.

Satisfied with the way that conversation had gone, Pinkie turned around with a content hum, intending to head straight to her classroom and probably explain to her students why she was so late.

“Hello, Professor Pie,” came an almost sing-song voice from next to her.

Pinkie glanced down and waved at the little pegasus standing not even a foot away. “Hiya Cozy Glow. What are you doing out of class?”

Cozy gently waved a piece of paper she was holding. “Just taking the Loyalty attendance sheet to Principle Twilight.” She blinked up with big doe eyes and a smile Pinkie could tell was at least half faked. Most of Cozy’s smiles were fake, or at least exaggerated. This didn’t really bother Pinkie, however. The school was one for teaching friendship to creatures not very good at it yet. A lot of students were only here reluctantly and masked it in different ways to avoid extra lessons or actively offending a Princess of Equestria. Cozy Glow was especially good at masking her displeasure with sugary sweet words and an innocent look but you couldn’t get a fake smile past Pinkie Pie. “Did I hear you talking to the Principal about… a vacation?”

Pinkie nodded and, taking the paper from Cozy, slipped it under the door in one easy motion. “Uh huh. She’s feeling super duper stressed with Neighsay and the new clone students and stuff so she’s gonna go visit her brother and get some time off.”

A few emotions flashed subtly across Cozy’s face in rapid succession before it settled on just plain confusion. “Wait… clone students?”

“Yep!” Pinkie confirmed, walking down the hall with Cozy Glow following close behind. “We’re gonna make an announcement about it soon but basically what happened is that Queen Chrysalis made some evil clones of us to try and use the Elements of Harmony, I convinced them to not do that, and now they’re our friends and are coming to school!”

Cozy’s eyes went wide. “There are… evil changeling clones running around the school with all the abilities of the Elements of Harmony? Isn’t that a problem?”

Pinkie shook her head quickly and put on her most comforting smile she could. “Not at all! Like I said, they’re nice now. Well, not nice nice, but they aren’t evil! They didn’t like Chrysalis ordering them around and stuff so they ditched her and now wanna learn how to live in Equestria.”

“Huh,” was Cozy’s only reply as she turned on that smile that meant she was thinking about something really hard but didn’t want anyone to notice, “I’m sure they do. Thank you very much professor!” She turned down a side hallway quickly and waved over her shoulder as she trotted off. “Thanks for the talk Professor! See you in class.”

“Uh, oh, okay!” Pinkie waved back, a bit caught off with her abrupt departure. “Have a good day, Cozy.”

“I certainly will.”

Pinkie watched the filly disappear around the corner. That wasn’t the way to Dashie’s class…

Huh. What a weird kid.

Author's Note

Happy Ten Year Anniversary of MLP:FIM! And one year of this story! Woo!

A little filly got introduced in this chapter. I wonder if she's going to be important at all? Probably not right? She's just a kid ;)))))))))

A Glowing First Day of School

Evening’s eye twitched sporadically as she sat in Rarity’s Class of Generosity.

She actually had no idea what said Element of Generosity was teaching, standing up on a dress podium in the front of the class. Everypony else seemed absolutely enthralled with it, staring intently and engaging attentively with their teacher.

Evening, however, was distracted from the most likely fascinating lesson by a-

Splat!

Her eye twitched again and her ear got in on the act as a wet, sticky ball of paper and spit collided with the back of her neck. Two familiar voices giggled behind her.

She would not turn around and blast Pansy and Vanilla into a thousand pieces. Even if they wanted to behave like children, Evening wasn’t about to stoop to their level. Just grin and bear it. She was better than them.

They weren’t sitting at desks as Evening had expected. Instead, the classroom was arranged like a small theater in the round. Rarity’s podium sat in the center and the students could stand close up front and get hooves on experience or sit on the floor further back and watch more passively.

As Evening was sitting in the back, nothing was protecting her from getting a spitball right in the sensitive spot between her wings.

She barely contained her yelp as she spun around and grabbed the next spitball out of the air with her magic and glared death at the two trouble makers. “Stop.”

Vanilla shrunk a miniscule amount behind Private Pansy, straw still in her mouth, as the Pegasus only smirked at the enraged, and soggy, Alicorn.

“Oh?” Pansy whispered back, leaning forward so as not to draw the rest of the class’s attention, “And what are you going to do if we don’t?”

Without a word, Evening magically plucked the straw from Vanilla’s mouth and, with a spell intended to be used on candles, lit the thing on fire. “I am not. Above. Revenge.”

She turned back around with an air of finality. There was a brief murmur behind her as Pansy scoffed and Vanilla grumbled how it was a boring game anyway but, at the very least, the spitballs had stopped.

“I didn’t think it was funny at all,” came a country twang accent directly to Evening’s side.

Evening let her eyes slide over to where Crispin was, of all things, writing notes, and squinted suspiciously at her.

“Are you mocking me?”

A smile tugged at Crispin’s lips and she raised her hoof high. “Hey, teach, what’s the best way ta get drool out of somethin’?”

Rarity stopped talking and most of the other ponies in the room turned to face her. No pony looked surprised by the question, or by who was asking it. No pony, except Rarity herself.

“...drool?” The Unicorn asked, squinting as if she couldn’t see Crispin from half a dozen feet away, “Why would you need to know that Crispin?”

Evening narrowed her eyes dangerously but the Earth Pony clone only shrugged her shoulders casually. “Ah got a baby at home and it keeps droolin’ in all my fur and feathers is’all. Since you’re the leadin’ expert on all things I figured you would know.”

There was a strange occurrence that was happening in the classroom that Evening had noticed since walking in. Not a single pony looked absolutely baffled by the clones’ presence and, worse yet, still didn’t react in confusion to the absolute applesauce Crispin was spilling. Some were even nodding in sympathy.

Evening would have assumed their… situation… had been explained to the students before hoof. But even ponies weren’t this nice to just roll with the dark magic infused clones in their midst. Besides, at a school for friendship, at least one brow should have been raised at the aggressive lie Crispin spat.

But no. The only pony in the room looking confused was Rarity herself and even she was trying to move right along like this was some sort of serious question and not just an excuse to embarrass Evening. “Well… um… Crispin dear, saliva can usually just be washed out with normal soap and water. As long as there isn’t any, erm, spit up then it shouldn’t leave a stain.”

Crispin nodded in a thoughtful manner. “Makes sense. Thank ya kindly.”

Rarity nodded back and quickly resumed her lecture. “Now where was I… oh yes! To divide generosity by-”

“Oh, Mrs Teacher,” Crispin quickly interjected, not even bothering to raise her hoof this time, “Evenin’ has to go to the potty.”

Death. Crispin had chosen death.

“Arlight,” Rarity answered, seeming to be going more confidently with Crispin’s bull, “It’s just down the hall. Do you need somepony to show you…”

Her voice trailed off as she got a good look at Evening’s unamused face glaring back at her.

“On second thought, why don’t you-”

“Oh! Oh, I can take her Mrs Rarity.” A tiny little pink hoof shot out from the crowd and waved enthusiastically.

Rarity bit her lip as her eyes flicked from the eager hoof to Evening’s face and to the rest of the students. “Perhaps…”

“Please? I want to help our new students.”

Rarity’s resolve faltered because she was weak. Weak and not willing to save Evening from an incredibly embarrassing fate. “...very well. Just be quick about it, arlight?”

“Of course!” The little pony chirped sugar-sweet-like and got up to trot out of the room.

Evening, with all eyes currently on her, and a gross feeling mane anyway, had no choice but to follow. At the very least she could escape the rambling coming from Rarity for a few minutes.

Though the pony she was now stuck with obviously wasn’t any better. Her hair was curled immaculately with a little ribbon tied into it. Truly, she looked like a living doll.

“I saw what you did back there,” the pony said in a sugary sweet voice that made Evening gag a little bit, “Threatening your friends like that.”

“They aren’t my friends,” Evening shot snippily but bit off the rest as the tone of what the filly had said, more than the words, caught up to her. The tiny little doll-like pony wasn’t scolding her, or nervous, or even worried. She had sounded… impressed? Excited?

Evening glared suspiciously at that wide, innocent smile, “What’s it to you?”

“Oh ~nothing~,” the pony sing-songed, “I’m Cozy Glow, by the way. You’re… Evening Star right?”

“Yes.” Evening kept her words short now. Based on that sudden topic shift, Cozy was definitely trying to steer the conversation in a particular direction and, while Evening had no idea for what, she at least could sense an agenda when it was presented to her. Someone trying to control her. “They announced it during class. Gold star to you.”

“Mmmhm,” Cozy simply hummed happily, as if she had already won, “But they didn’t announce where you came from. I’m sure everypony here just assumes you’re more changeling exchange students.”

“And you don’t,” Evening said bluntly.

Cozy’s little wings buzzed to life as she flew up to hover in front of Evening. “Oh no, I know that you’re all clones made with the one goal of destroying the Elements of Harmony.”

Again there was no fear. Just absolute giddy excitement. “Starlight Glimmer, actually, but that is more or less correct.” Evening wasn’t going to question how Cozy knew that. She assumed the filly would just take it as a chance to gloat. Instead, she leaned forward until she was pressed nose to nose with Cozy. “Again. What’s it to you?”

Cozy simply smiled, no longer sugary sweet, but instead malicious and predatory. She pressed a tiny hoof to Evening’s cheek and looked deep in her eyes. “You seem to be the only competent one of your little group. I can help you get the vengeance you so rightly deserve.”

Evening snorted and brushed her hoof away as she moved past the hovering filly. “Thanks but no thanks. The ‘vengeance’ that I’m after isn’t even mine in the first place.”

“Well, what if I could get you out of here?” Cozy called after her, “Free you from this stinking prison they call a school. No worry about any pony dismantling you. No masters. Just the sweet freedom that comes from being the most powerful creature around.”

Evening stopped. That was… more interesting. Slowly, she turned back around until she once again faced the little Pegasus still in the air. “How? How is a normal filly going to defeat the Elements of Harmony?”

Cozy’s grin sent a shiver down Evening’s spine. “Have you ever heard of a demon called Tirek?”

***

They went back to class.

Which was infuriating as it was boring. Cozy promised to explain her entire plan to Evening after the class which, if they were caught ditching, would cast them in increasing suspicion. Evening had agreed the plan was sound but that didn’t make it any more frustrating.

Despite her best efforts, she was immensely curious as to what Cozy’s grand plan was and how this Tirek creature was supposed to help with it. Evening didn’t trust the filly, not by a long shot, but if she had some way to make the Elements powerless… well, that would solve a good deal of Evening’s problems.

She waited patiently as Rarity went on about giving and the meaning of Hearth’s Warming or some other tedious drabble like that. Evening took notes, of course, but that was more habit left over from Twilight Sparkle than anything else. The only other noticeable thing to happen was when Evening smacked Parade awake before Rarity could see the Pegasus dozing off.

After forty-five long, grueling, minutes the class was finally over and the other students started to pack up their materials. Evening gave her already memorized notes to Infinity, who stuffed them in a bag that she had obtained somewhere, and weaved her way between the other students and towards the door.

She had just made it out of the throng when she was halted by an unstoppable force.

“Hey, Evening! How was your first class? Did you love it?”

Evening groaned internally as she turned to address the bundle of questions that was Pinkie Pie. She could just see Cozy Glow disappear around the corner. Hopefully, the filly wouldn’t think Evening was backing out if she was a few minutes late.

“Hello, Pinkie, class was fine,” she said shortly, changing direction so she wouldn’t get trampled by the other students but still be able to casually talk to Pinkie, who was now right at her side.

“Aww,” Pinkie said, poking Evening in the cheek, “that doesn’t sound fine. That sounds like a grumpy time.”

Evening forced herself to relax her shoulders. She didn’t not like Pinkie’s presence, after all, she just had something much more pressing to get to. “If you have to know I found the lecture boring and the students…” She shot a glare at Pansy who was passing by, only to get a tongue stuck out at her in response, “... detestable.”

Pinkie tilted her head and raised a single eyebrow. “Did you even talk to anyone else but your sisters? This is a school of friendship! You gotta try to make friends to make friends, silly.”

“I talked to a pony,” Evening corrected, “I just don’t enjoythe lecture aspect of ‘making friends’. Seems like a counterproductive way to teach morality.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well, looks like somepony wasn’t engaging. Cause I’ve been to Rarity’s class before and it’s way fun if you sit up front and listen. It’s weird you didn’t have fun ‘cause Twilight pretty much loves school work.”

Evening frowned and gave out an involuntary huff. “Well, I’m not Twilight Sparkle. So it hardly matters.”

“You’re right,” Pinkie said, wrapping Evening’s front leg with her own in a sort of half-hug, “Sorry for implying otherwise. Twilight’s been grumpy too so she’s on my mind. Hopefully her trip will calm her right down.”

“Trip?” Evening asked, not reciprocating the hug but also not pulling away, “What trip?”

“Oh,” Pinkie said distractedly, waving back to a few students who greeted her as they walked past, “Twilight’s been, like, freaking out lately so I suggested she go visit her brother and sister-in-law for some R and R.”

Evening’s brow furrowed. “Really? Even with us just integrating into her school?” She snorted. “She must underestimate us more than I ever imagined.”

Pinkie jabbed her in the side. “Nuh uh! She trusts you, silly. And so do I! Even if that dumb Neighsay or some other bad guy attacks while she’s not here I know you’ll help us.”

Evening patted her on the head. “You’re a flatterer, you know that?”

Pinkie only giggled in response. “Is it working?”

“Hello Professor,” came a sweet voice from the other side of Pinkie.

“Oh, hi again Cozy,” Pinkie said, turning to where the little filly was standing, gazing up at her with her default big eyes and adorable smile, “Gee, I keep running into you today, huh?”

“Seems that way,” Cozy replied with fake cheer. Her eyes flicked to Evening and, somehow without twitching a muscle, her gaze got darker. But just as fast she put the cheer back on and beamed back up at Pinkie Pie, “May I borrow the new student for a little bit? Miss Rarity gave us a homework assignment and I’d just love for her to be my partner on it.”

“Awww,” Pinkie cooed, ruffling Cozy’s mane, “That’s so sweet of you! I’m sure Evening would love to be partners with you. Wouldn’t you, Evening?”

Pinkie turned and blinked innocently at Evening. It was almost funny, partially because Pinkie was just trying to be funny, but also because of how much of a poor parody her expression was to Cozy’s truly manipulative one.

Evening rolled her eyes at the both of them and stepped forward to follow Cozy. “Fine. Since it seems I’m being ganged up on here.”

“Oh golly!” Cozy said, and Evening withheld a wince at how forced the phrase sounded, “I can’t wait to get to know you, Evening. I bet we’re going to have so much fun together.”

If Pinkie noticed how thick Cozy was putting on the sugar she did not comment on it. “Okie dokie loki! You two have fun then.”

She waved them off and was almost immediately snatched up by another student wanting her attention. Leaving Evening Star and Cozy Glow essentially alone in the crowd.

“What an idiot,” Cozy said, just loud enough for Evening to hear, before turning around and buzzing back the way she had come, “Come on. We should go someplace private to talk about our project.”

Evening took one last glance at Pinkie before following Cozy through the crowd.

***

The filly led her to the library, which was full to the brim of studying students, and over to one of the closed-off, soundproof, study areas.

“Okay, we can talk freely in here.”

Evening looked around the room. The wall facing the rest of the library was see-through glass but she could detect a subtle spell around it that would most likely block out any sound coming in or out.

“Seems really dumb of them to just have these avaliable,” Evening remarked as she sat on one of the chairs around the plain wooden table.

“They think we’re all good little students using them for study reasons,” Cozy cooed, making her voice even more sickly sweet than usual. Almost immediately, however, she dropped the act and gave Evening a cold, calculated look as she took the chair opposite. “So, let’s talk, shall we?”

“Yes,” Evening agreed, “About this ‘Tirek’ of yours. I recall him being a very powerful demon currently locked away in tartarus. What does he have to do with a little filly like you?”

Cozy tapped her hooves together. “Let’s just say I know ponies who can get me what I want and he is very interested in my plan.”

Evening’s brow furrowed and she sat up straighter. “Are you implying that you have contact with a demon.”

The filly giggled condescending. “He loves writing letters. Apparently it’s pretty boring down there.”

Evening’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “For what purpose are you doing this? Surely you’re not stupid enough to try and break him out. He’ll kill you the first chance he gets.”

Cozy waved a hoof dismissively and leaned forward, pressing her front hooves together. “Of course not. But he has given me some interesting information about magical properties that they just don’t teach ya’ in school.” Her smile grew sharp. Sharp and hungry. “Powering down the elements is actually a lot simpler than ya might think.”

Evening scoffed. “Please. If Tirek had a way to just render the Elements of Harmony useless he wouldn’t be rotting in a cell.” She stood up and turned away. “He’s obviously just lying to you so you’ll help free him. This is a waste of time.”

“Have you heard of the theory of Ethereal Dissonance?”

Evening glanced over her shoulder with bored, half-lidded eyes. “Of course. That’s the magical principle behind counterspells. You throw magic of the same ethereal frequency onto a spell and they’ll both cancel each other out, leaving no magic left at all.” She turned around just to loom over the filly. “But the Elements of Harmony are the most magical artifacts in the world. They’re connected to Equestia itself. To cancel them out you’d practically have to dissonance all of Equestria at once.”

Cozy’s cheeky grin only grew, seeming as if it would burst off of her face.

Evening’s eyes narrowed. “Which is obviously impossible.”

“Is it?” Cozy could not keep the glee out of her voice.

“Tirek does not have that much power.”

“No,” Cozy easily agreed. “But six other artifacts all charged with Harmony and the magic of the other species just might.”

Evening snorted. That was ludicrous. There was no way they could… but if theoretically… the Element’s were ancient… so were the other species’ magic… but how would…

She had sat back down at some point. “Say you had these artifacts. And this crazy scheme did work. How would you even ‘infuse them with Harmony’. That sounds like nonsense.”

“Well, you see, that’s where you come in,” Cozy leaned forward even more so almost her entire body was on the table, grinning up at Evening with eager eyes. “I need someone who knows magic, really knows magic, and also knows the Elements of Harmony to figure out the best, and most inconspicuous way of super charging these artifacts. I’m just a Pegasus filly, that’s why I was getting Tirek’s help. But with you? Oh, we could do so much more.”

Evening fluffed her wings subconsciously and sat up straighter. “I do know about magic. And with something with this much power… it could get dangerous for a little filly to handle alone…”

Cozy’s face twitched, just a bit, before it smoothed back out and she nodded. “Oh yes, that’s a good idea. We wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt after all. That’s why we aren’t trusting Tirek completely.”

“Smart thinking,” Evening muttered as her face became contemplative, “But taking away the magic ability of everyone in Equestria would still pose a problem. Celestia and Luna couldn’t move the sun and I don’t know about you but I can’t survive without sunlight.”

“Oh, don’t worry about something like that,” Cozy said dismissively, “The spell has a range that slowly expands and even at its biggest it doesn’t stretch around the whole world. They’ll find someplace to keep everything working while we sit safe and free. Forever.”

“Good,” Evening smirked as something occurred to her and she shook her head, “Seems like you didn’t think this fully through, however. If the range expands slowly then the Bearers will certainly find out about your scheme before the device pushes the Elements out of range.”

Cozy giggled. Evilly. Evening didn’t know you could do that. “Oh don’t worry about ~that~,” she said in a sing-song type voice. “We just have to blame the whole thing on Tirek.”

Evening raised a brow skeptically. “And you think them combing the town for a demon centar won’t cause them to stumble upon your rune circle?”

“I’m not stupid enough to leave them to their own devices,” Cozy said, a scowl slipping onto her face, “The spell will take away their magic but knowing their history they’ll manage to mess everything anway. No, we get rid of them before we finish. Permanently.”

“What?” Evening said with a start, her heart clenching in worry. Cozy raised a brow at her, however, and the clone quickly schooled her features and continued. “...do you mean? What do you mean, by that? Certainly you couldn’t...”

“That’s the genius of blaming Tirek,” Cozy said, either missing or ignoring Evening’s sputtering, “They’ll go to find him. And once they get to Tartarus and see he’s still there enough magic in the world will be gone that they won’t be able to open the gates back up.” She giggled again and that giggle turned into a chuckle and then a full-on evil cackle. “They’ll be trapped there with him! Forever! Or at least until they get weak enough for Tirek to finish them off for good.”

“No!” Evening said forcefully, cutting the filly off mid-cackle. Her insides rolled at the thought of what Cozy was suggesting. Of course, they needed to get the Elements out of the way, there was no question of that, but… this? Locking them away in Tartarus to the mercy of a demon? Evening couldn’t do that. That wouldn’t make her any better than Chrysalis for one thing and for the other she just… couldn’t. She couldn’t do that.

But she couldn’t let the sadistic little foal know that either.

“That’s a stupid plan,” Evening said with a haughty snort, rolling her eyes for good measure, “There are only a dozen factors you didn’t consider.”

“Oh?” Cozy asked and while her voice was still conversational her eyes were narrowed. Like she was trying to pierce through Evening’s words to their ulterior meaning. “And what would those be?”

Evening didn’t let the disturbing look get to her. She tapped her hoof to her chin and hummed, making sure Cozy understood she was mocking her. “Well, let me think. What do you think would happen if your plan doesn’t work out exactly how you envision it?”

“And why,” Cozy asked, sugar and malice dripping from her voice in equal parts, “Wouldn’t it work? If someone decided they wanted to tattle...”

Evening dropped her false cockiness to be replaced by very real irritation. “I’m not going to betray you, idiot. I believe most of this scheme has a very real chance to succeed and I do want to help you with it. But only a fool would go into something so risky without a backup plan.”

“Hmm,” Cozy hummed, mimicking Evening just moments before, “I would think locking our biggest threats in an inescapable prison is a pretty solid backup plan.”

“And what if they get out?” Evening fired back, spreading her front hooves out in a sweeping gesture, “Imagine they somehow escape and now know you were working with one of the most notorious villains they’ve ever faced. You’d be hunted by everypony in Equestria. And then there’s the problem of Tirek himself. Tell me, did he, perhaps, suggest this plan to you?”

Cozy frowned. But whether in thought or from irritation, Evening couldn’t tell. “You think Tirek has some ulterior motive?”

“He’s a demon, kid.”

“Then what would you suggest?” Cozy asked, crossing her hooves in front of her and eyeing Evening with a squint. “How do I get the Friendship Buddies out of my mane without playing to the whims of Tirek or letting them know I was responsible the whole time?”

Evening grinned. To her, the answer was obvious, “Just send them away, to the far corners of Equestria.”

“Oh, great idea!” Cozy put back on her false smile and big eyes, “I’ll just send them a letter that says ‘get out of town’ and then all my troubles will be solved! Golly, why didn’t I think of that?”

“I think you’re underestimating just how easy this will actually be,” Evening pushed on, ignoring Cozy’s mocking words, “I happen to know that Princess Twilight Sparkle will be leaving the country for a few weeks to get a little bit of a vacation. The rest of them have friends scattered all across the world that could theoretically need their assistance. Not to mention that map thing that sends them running off at the drop of a hat.”

Cozy’s smile had dropped during the explanation, not into a sneer, but instead into a thoughtful half-smirk. “That… hmm… that honestly could work. If the plan somehow doesn’t succeed they come back knowing nothing even happened in the first place…” She turned her attention back to Evening with a grin, “I knew coming to you was the right idea. This partnership is going to go… splendidly.”

Evening tried not to preen at the words, even though they were completely true. “When shall we meet again?”

Cozy waved a hoof dismissively, “Oh, we don’t need to worry about that. As long as we pretend we’re Best Friends they’ll be happy to let us go off on our own whenever we want to. These ponies are really stupid.”

Author's Note

Man going to Everfree Northwest really jumpstarted my desire to write again!

Pink, Pink, Pinkie

Pinkie was not having a great day.

It started out fine! Like every day does. Waking up, baking at Sugarcube Corner, throwing any birthday parties needed around town, helping run the school now that Twilight was off on her vacation, all fun things.

The problems started when she ran into a shady individual roaming the school grounds.

“And now I’m learning that the headmaster herself has left the country? What kind of hairbrained leader just toddles off the second they’re needed? This is a gross example of mismanagement.”

Neighsay started ranting nonstop when Pinkie had stopped him from breaking into the record room near the back of the school. It wasn’t even because there was anything bad back there that he shouldn’t find. She just knew Starlight was working really hard organizing everything with Twilight gone and Pinkie didn’t want her to be interrupted.

Just like Dashie had mentioned last time she saw him, Neighsay still had two beefy earth ponies following closely behind him. They didn’t say much, just stood there looking big and scary. Pinkie wasn’t sure if he kept them around because he was honestly scared Smolder or Ocellus would attack him or just to intimidate any creature who dared to try and stand up to him.

Either way, it did make all the students give him a wide berth and so the conversation they were having could almost be seen as private.

“And what are you doing out here anyway? You’re a teacher aren’t you? Why aren’t you teaching?”

Pinkie cocked her head at him as he glared down at her. It sucked that he was so tall. It was much easier to not look intimidated when you didn’t have to crane your neck up. “Huh? Don’t you go to tons of schools? Teachers don’t teach at every second. I’m on my lunch break.”

That wasn’t… entirely true. It wasn’t entirely false either, she was on break, but the truth of the matter was the school didn’t have too many students in it and so there were often long stretches of downtime where the teachers could run off to do their other jobs or save the world again.

Or make sure no meanie pants were trying to break in.

“Well… yes,” Neighsay sniffed, thrown off a bit at her answer and attitude. If there’s one thing Pinkie learned while fighting big world-ending threats it was that baddies got really confused when you didn’t get angry or scared at them, “Fine. Since I have you here and the Headmistress seems to be indisposed I would like to know why you have decided to bring more Changelings into this little treason factory of yours.”

Pinkie’s brow furrowed in confusion. “More Changelings? What more Changelings? The only Changeling we have right now is Ocellus.” She stopped and tapped her chin as a thought came to her. “At least… I think so… I guess I wouldn’t be able to tell if they snuck in. But why would more sneak in? They can just enroll if they really really want to! We only have the one because King Thorax thought everyling else should take time to adjust to not starving anymore. But I guess it’s possible that-”

“Stop blathering this instant!” Neighsay snapped, a vein bulging right below his horn, “The Changelings! Those two that were taking the form of the Headmistress and Miss Dash just the other day. Miss Dash, the real one, said they were also enrolled here.”

“Ooooooh.” That clicked it into place. “You mean Evening and the other clones.”

Neighsay’s eyes widened and he took half a step back in shock. “I-I beg your pardon. The what?”

“The clones!” Pinkie explained with a happy little hop, excited to be talking about her brand new best friends. That was a nice word to say with excitement and not cringing embarrassment. “They’re clones of me and the rest of the girls, but don’t worry, they’re their own ponies now. We decided they should come to school to learn how to be good little ponies and I don’t know if I should be telling you this.” Her hopping slowed and her smile became hesitant. “Actually, I don’t know if I should really be telling anyone this, especially not you… oops.”

Neighsay was gaping at her like she had just told him Discord had turned his house into swiss cheese. “You’re… you’re letting constructs into your school? Magical puppets? What in Equestria for? Is your sorry excuse for a school such a failure you have to invent students to fill seats?”

There were a lot of mean things in that little speech but Pinkie latched onto the first one that struck her. “They’re not constructs! They’re real ponies! Just because they were made of dark magic doesn’t mean they don’t have thoughts and motives of their own!”

“Dark Magic???” Neighsay shrieked, “You’re doing dark magic in that school???”

“No silly.” Pinkie rolled her eyes. “We didn’t make them. Dark magic is definitely a no-no at the School of Friendship.”

“You didn’t make them? Then who did?”

“That one’s easy. Chr-”

“Pinkie!”

Pinkie Pie flinched at the scolding tone as both Neighsay and his guards turned to regard the new voice.

Starlight Glimmer had come out of the record room, probably because of all the shouting, and was now approaching the little group with a glare that could scare your cutie mark off.

Heh, get it?

“Pinkie, what is Neighsay doing here?” Starlight asked, ignoring the other Unicorn besides shooting him a deathly look. “And why are you telling him about our, ahem, new students?” She glanced around, possibly trying to find other things to glare at, but all the other ponies in the courtyard had completely scattered when Neighsay had started screeching.

“I was trying to find out that exact thing!” PInkie answered the first question, choosing to ignore the second. She was pretty sure it was rhetorical anyway. Probably. “He’s just lurking around even though Twilight told him not to come back.”

Starlight narrowed her eyes and Pinkie shivered a little. “Maybe if he’s not allowed here then we don’t tell him anything he wants to know, right?”

Pinkie nodded rapidly and Starlight, seemingly satisfied, turned to finally face Neighsay. “And you. I believe she is correct in the fact that you’re not supposed to be here. So get out.”

Neighsay sniffed and stood up straighter, trying to not look caught off guard. Pinkie didn’t blame him though, Starlight could be scary when she wanted to. “I demand to know more about these dark magic clones running around this so-called school.”

“No,” Starlight said bluntly, “We are not a part of the EEA system. Who we let attend is quite frankly none of your business. Now get off the school grounds or you will be forcefully removed.”

On cue, the two beefy ponies behind him moved up in a threatening manner as Neighsay continued to seeth. “Young lady if you so much as lay a hoof on-”

A flash of teal magic erupted out of Starlight’s horn and with a blink Neighsay and his two goons were gone.

“Did you send them to the moon?”

Starlight turned an incredulous look on Pinkie. “What? No! I just teleported him off of school grounds. Why would you even think…” She stopped, took a deep breath through her nose, and then continued again more calmly. “Pinkie, why were you telling him about the clones?”

Pinkie smiled awkwardly. “Well I didn’t really mean to. He met Evening and Parade in town the other day and was wondering who they were. I got a little carried away and accidentally told him they were clones… but I wasn’t going to tell him any more than that! But then he started saying they were just puppets and not real and that’s not true so I had to-”

“Stop. Stop, I get it,” Starlight said. She had started messaging her temple somewhere through Pinkie’s explanation. “That was… noble of you… but I thought Twilight wanted to keep their existence under wraps for now?”

“She did,” Pinkie agreed, ears folding back in embarrassment, “and I really think that’s a smart decision on Twilight’s part, the clones need time to adjust, for sure. But it should be fine! Neighsay already hates us, what’s he gonna do with more reason to hate us?”

Starlight didn’t seem completely sold on Pinkie’s flawless reasoning but she did take a few deep breaths and nod her head, not pushing the issue farther. “I guess. I just don’t want any more trouble. Twilight’s away, which, while I agree is good for her, puts a lot of pressure on the rest of our shoulders. Hay, I don’t even know if the clones still want to kill me, specifically, so you can kind of imagine the pressure I’m under.”

“Aw, you worry too much, Starry,” Pinkie said with a wave of her hoof, “the clones aren’t like that. They’re really nice!”

Starlight frowned which was not what Pinkie had been going for. “Okay, first off. Don’t call me that. Second off, you know I’m big on second chances, I am! And I do think they deserve a second chance. But I don’t know if they’ve really… learned the error of their ways so to speak. They’ll get there, I’m sure, but for now… I’m kind of keeping my guard up.”

Pinkie hummed in thought and then leaned in close, a knowing smile on her face. “You know what I think? I think you just have a scary shape shifting evil bug lady with a personal agenda against you running around and that’s making you jumpy.” She clapped Starlight on the back. “But that’s just what it means to be a hero! You’ll get used to it.”

Starlight stumbled a little and fixed Pinkie with an incredulous expression. “Wha- of course that’s making me jumpy. I’m literally saying that I’m being cautious around them because they’re directly a part of that personal agenda. It’s a very normal reaction to have.”

“And you know what will fix that?” Pinkie pressed.

“Capturing Chrysalis?”

“Getting to know the clones! Then you’ll see they aren’t as scary and out-to-get-you as you think they are.”

Starlight pursed her lips. “I don’t know… even if they are like you say I don’t want to stress them, and myself, out more than I have to. What if being around me activates something in them?”

“And what if you seeing them all have cutie marks activates something in you?” The death glare was back, stronger than ever, but Pinkie pushed forward regardless. “They’re not robots, Starlight, they’re just ponies. Didn’t you feel better when ponies you hurt actually talked to you after you said sorry?”

The glare slipped off of Starlight’s face and was replaced with a guilty look. “Yeah… I guess that is true. Maybe I’m being unfair.” Starlight took a deep breath, steeling herself, and nodded. “Okay, let’s go talk to the clones.”

Pinkie couldn’t help but leap in joy. “Hooray! Now let’s go find one! Let’s see…”

She trailed off as she scoped around the courtyard, hoping to find one of the clones just wandering around. The class change must have happened while they were arguing because students were starting to wander out of the school in large groups, chatting to each other excitedly about what they had just learned.

Luckily, one of those students just so happened to be who Pinkie was looking for.

Unluckily, it was Vanilla Dream.

Pinkie suppressed a flinch she hoped Starlight didn’t see. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Vanilla, the pink clone hadn’t been any less friendly than the others, Pinkie just got a teeny weenie bit uncomfortable around her, and being uncomfortable definitely wouldn’t help Pinkie make Starlight not uncomfortable. Maybe she could pretend she hadn’t seen Vanilla and spot somepony else…

“Isn’t that one of them there?”

Pinkie turned to see where Starlight was looking and, shoot, she was looking at Vanilla too. Recognizing that her fate was sealed, Pinkie put on her most excited smile and acted like she too had just spotted the clone.

“Oooh, you’re right! Let’s go over and say hi.” She grabbed Starlight’s leg and, ignoring the Unicorn’s startled protests, dragged her over to Vanilla.

They weren’t being particularly subtle so Vanilla looked up almost immediately as they zigzagged their way through the crowd. She seemed irritated, as usual, but a curious expression ghosted her face when she saw who Pinkie was dragging along and didn’t even flinch as the two ponies screeched to a stop in front of her.

“Hi Vanilla!” Pinkie greeted, waving at the clone even though she was standing a foot in front of her.

“Me,” Vanilla greeted back bluntly before turning her attention to Starlight, “And Starlight Glimmer. You know I actually didn’t think I’d run into you while we were here.”

Starlight awkwardly scratched her neck. “Well, I am the counselor so if you spent enough time at this school you’d have to come see me. Uh, but it’s nice to get to meet you right now.”

Vanilla simply stared at Starlight, thoughtfully, while Starlight stared awkwardly right back. Pinkie watched both of them eagerly. Getting past this first hurdle would definitely make the clone’s integration much smoother.

Then Vanilla kicked Starlight in the shin.

“Ah! What the buck?” Starlight cursed, stumbling back and clutching her right foreleg.

Every pony that had been milling about instantly turned to look as their counselor swore, a few even creeping closer to get a better look.

“Vanilla!” Pinkie scolded, rounding on the clone, “What did you do that for?”

Vanilla Dream, for her part, was staring at her own hoof in fascination. “Wow, that actually was pretty fun.”

“No, no, no, no.” Pinkie swatted Vanilla’s head like one would a naughty dog that had just learned how to bite. “That is not how you make friends, Vanilla.”

“Ack.” Vanilla flailed a hoof to wave off Pinkie’s swats. “But it was funny. And she sucks.”

“It was not,” Pinkie said sternly, “and she does not. You can’t just hit ponies you don’t like and even if you could hit ponies you don’t likeyou don’t even have a reason not to like her!”

“You dislike her,” Vanilla shot back, her signature annoyed expression back.

Pinkie blinked, completely caught off guard by that shift in subject. A few of the watching students around them oohed. “Huh? That’s silly, no I don’t.”

Vanilla Dream leaned in real close so the two pink pony’s snouts almost touched. But they didn’t. Because Pinkie backed away a half step. “Yes you do. I can see it in your memories. You’re mad at her for mind-controlling you after she got reformed.”

“Hang on,” Starlight said, annoyance, and a little trepidation in her voice as all the watching eyes turned to her, “I feel like we’re getting off topic from you kicking me-”

“You can see my memories?!?” Pinkie gasped, clutching at her head just in case the memories were somehow leaking out of her ears. “How are you doing that? Can you tell what I’m thinking right now?”

“Uhg, no,” Vanilla said, rolling her eyes, “How do you think I know how to talk and stuff?” She tapped her own head. “I have some scattered memories from every part I’m made up of. Yours are dumb though. You keep doing boring stuff and pretending that it's fun. Seriously, why were you so excited about a dumb walk or talking to ponies or junk?”

“Wait, really?” Starlight asked, her irritation momentarily forgotten, “If that’s true then…” she paused, glancing around at the ponies who were trying with little success to look like they weren’t listening. Leaning in close to Vanilla, Starlight whispered, “then do you also have some of the other creature’s memories?”

“Yep,” Vanilla said flatly, “and they tell me that you’re a half pint loser. Who smells. And can’t get a girlfriend.”

Starlight reared back, irritation quickly unforgotten as her horn started to spark dangerously. “Okay that is it! Pinkie, I’m sorry but I am not putting up with this any longer. Everypony stand back.”

Vanilla stuck out her tongue as Pinkie tried to put herself between the two angry ponies and everypony else obediently scattered away from what, in their minds, must surely be a fight about to brew. “H-hold on Starlight. I’m sure-”

“What the buck is going on now?”

The three of them turned to see Evening Star stalking over with her usual grumpy scowl. Students cleared out of her way like she was a boat cutting through water. Surprisingly, Rarity was right on her heels, wearing an unusual worried expression and apologizing sweetly to the quickly dispersing crowd.

“Evening! Rarity!” Pinkie called to her friends, waving her hooves excitedly, “I was just trying to get Starlight and Vanilla to be friends but they’re both being super rude.”

“Hold on,” Starlight protested, “how in Equestria am I the one being rude? She kicked me in the shin!”

Rarity’s face grew even more worried. “Oh dear! Darling, are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” Starlight admitted, still rubbing her leg, “More pissed off than hurt, honestly.”

While Rarity was fussing over Starlight’s well-being Evening wacked Vanilla on the back of the head.

“Ooow,” Vanilla whined, “what did you do that for?”

“Stop being rude to our hosts,” Evening said with a grumble, “we want them to like us, remember?”

“But they’re so boring,” Vanilla insisted, overexagurating the whine in her voice, “and Starlight sucks! I hate Starlight.”

Starlight opened her mouth to snap something probably rude in reply but Evening beat her to it.

“No, Chrysalis hates her. This is the first time you’ve ever met Starlight.” Evening fixed her fellow clone with a hard stare. “Or do you want to be exactly like that stupid bug?”

Vanilla hesitated at that and, while avoiding eye contact with every pony there, slowly shook her head. “No… she sucks more…”

“Good,” Evening said with a tone of finality, “now apologize.”

Vanilla glanced at Starlight through the side of her eye and said, “Sorry you suck at first impressions.”

Starlight’s teeth ground together so hard Pinkie was afraid they were going to crack. “You’re not making so hot of one yourself.”

“Great. We’re all friends again. Now if you’ll excuse us, we should be on our way,” Evening said, pushing on Vanilla’s shoulder back towards the school. She gave a very fake smile. “Great to meet you Starlight. Oh, and Rarity, have a good time on your trip.”

“Thanks Evening!” Pinkie Pie called as the clones walked away. Evening did not look back at all, which Pinkie thought was a bit rude, and soon the two disappeared into the school. Pinkie turned back to Rarity and Starlight and beamed. “Wasn’t that great? Evening saved the day!”

Starlight gave her a flat look as she hesitantly put weight back on her leg. “Yeah, great. Couldn’t have been better.” She sighed and her shoulders slumped, like all of the built up tension just leaked out of her. “I’m sorry Pinkie, thank you for trying but I just think there’s too much bad blood between us for us to be friends anytime soon.” She paused and looked thoughtful. “Maybe even literally? Their blood might actually be flowing with Hate Starlight energy.”

“Now, darling,” Rarity spoke up, “I agree that they’re a bit… uncouth but Pinkie’s right; you must give them a chance. They’ve had a bad start but they’re learning and that means there will be some bumps in the road. You should know what that’s like.”

Starlight groaned. “I know, I know. Believe me I understand. It’s just harder when they’ve got something against me, personally.”

Rarity gave her a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry, dear. You’ve been trying so hard lately and the pressure just keeps building for you. And it certainly won’t help with me being gone-“

“Gone?” Pinkie interrupted, “Where are you going?”

“Evening did say something about a trip,” Starlight added, “What did she mean?”

Rarity waved her hoof in the air, as if to shake away the pink ponies’ concerned expressions. “Oh, it’s nothing important. My parents take these trips across the country or onto cruises all the time. They’ve gotten it into their heads recently that I’m constantly in ‘mortal danger’ or other such rot and are rather insistent I come along this time.” She bit her lip and looked away guiltily. “And normally I wouldn’t dream of leaving while things are so chaotic and Twilight is also away but… my parents can be quite insistent when they want to be.”

Starlight looked pensive but Pinkie just nodded understandingly. “Of course! Family time is really super important. You shouldn’t miss out on it just for our sake.”

“Yeah,” Starlight agreed, putting a kind of forced, but no less genuine smile on, “Family is important. If you feel like you need to be with them now then you should.” She laughed kind of awkwardly. “I know I’ve ditched on my dad more than a few times but I, uh, regret those decisions.”

Pinkie grabbed Rarity in a side hug. “Don’t you worry about us! We’ll run this ship ship-shape while you’re gone! Oooo, maybe we can get a substitute teacher or something. We’ve never done that before.”

Rarity gently squeezed her back. “Oh, thank you darling. It certainly eases my mind knowing you’ll be alright without me.”

Starlight glanced back over to where Evening and Vanilla disappeared. “I’m sure we’ll survive somehow.”

Author's Note

Merry Christmas!