Hooves line is it anyway?

by Light Heart101

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2304

This is the story where everything is made up and the points don't matter. We play improvisational games and publish the results here. We keep it clean and funny.

So this is what happens when I want to publish a story and get a few friends together to play a few games. Welcome to Hooves Line, where we make everything up and I give points that are just as good as MLP G3. From Hoedown to film noir scene to even weird newscasters. This is just us having fun and letting you enjoy it as well. We will be having a director's note at the end of each chapter that will ask for your suggestions for topics of certain games.

I'm canceling this due to lack of interest, input, and players.

Published 2019-10-08 01:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-09 14:35:30 UTC

Film noir scene/1

“Welcome back! For those of you who are wondering who’s in the lead, you haven’t seen our player roster yet.” Light said as he pointed to FlashTruth who was on the stage himself. “Well, I’ll be helping him with this next game which is film noir scene. Basically we both act out a ridiculous film noir scene. Now Flash, after this we will not be picking our own scenes, so where is an unlikely place for a film noir scene?”

Flash thought about it. “Sugarcube corner!” He said with confidence.

“Alright, I’ll start since those shades already make you fit the part.” Light said with a grin.

Some classical music started playing as Light addressed the audience, trying to act smooth. “Finally, after three years of searching, I found him. It was hard to find him, but then again, the rainbow clown wig was hard to miss. I didn’t want to tip him off, so I played it cool.”

Light then walked up to Flash and gave a fake smile. “Hey, is this a cake shop?”

“Who’s asking?” Flash asked in a graveling voice.

“My name is Sweet Tooth. Does that ring any bells?” Light asked calmly.

“Ya, you just did want you walked in and swung the door open,” He said will he pointed upwards like there was a bell over the door.

Light paused for a second before turning to the crowd. “I had no clue if he was just playing with me, or if he just didn’t remember my name.” He then turned back to Flash.

“So.. Do you want me to make you lose yours?” Flash character threatened while punching his own hove.

Light then turned to the crowd again. “Either that, or he doesn’t know how this game works, and that we’re supposed to be talking to the audience like nopony in the scene is there. Either way, I’ve gotta get him to start talking to you folks.”

Light then turned to Flash and yelled at him. “Don’t play dumb. Don’t you remember what happened three years ago?!?”

Flash walked forward. “I remember what happened 3 years ago. He was there, and he took the last cupcake.” He looked down. “I really wanted that cupcake.” He looked up. “It was CHOCOLATE!” He yelled out before walking back to Light.

Light had to hide a smile as he tried to look serious. “I’ve hunted you through four countries and two generations of MLP, and I’m also sick of the word Darling.”

“Well, I’m sorry DARLING!” Flash finished with a girly voice. “But I’m afraid that your next dessert is going to be a DEATH-by-chocolate.” He said will acting like he was holding a cake or a pie.

Light back up a little defensively, then turned to the crowd. “He was deranged, crazy, and had no reason working where he could be a danger to others. I’m guessing Pinkie Pie hired him. I knew that It was now or never. It was time for him to get his just deserts! Pun intended!”

Light then turned back to Flash and acted like he placed something on the counter. “Here’s the cupcake back. I’m allergic to chocolate.”

Flash rolled his eyes. “You forgot interest and inflation.” Flash walked forward to the crowd. “According to Pinkie Pie’s tax math, interest = 1.1X and inflation = 1.5X.”

Light then turn to the crowd. “I don’t know what he is talking about. I mean, we used to be friends with other ponies who knew each other, but I wouldn’t say I was interested in him. As for the other thing, I only have one idea of what he means.”

Light turned back to Flash and pretended to blow up a balloon and twist it around a bit. He sat it down in front of Flash and smiled. “A dog.” He said cheerfully.

“YE!” Flash jumped back scared. “Aaaaa... He’s eating my face!” He said will acting like the balloon dog was licking his face.

“Now, I know that you are wondering why I was the one looking for you, and not the other way around.” Light started to say.

“Because you know.. the Truth!?” Flash asked.

“It’s because I’m sick, and don’t know how long I’m going to live. I came to settle my debt.” Light told him. “And I plan to talk to you until you do something interesting.”

“How about this of interesting.” Flash sprang upwards and flipped his coat from its orange side to its black side. “You thought you were talking to your old friend, but it was I, a changeling!”. Flash told Light before moving forward and started talking to the crowd. “I clearly had no clue of were his friend was, or why his friend kept shipping Light with every mare in the town.”

“W… what are you going to do to me?” Light asked nervously.

“Oh.. I'm gonna make you talk.” Flash said will acting like he was taking out a feather duster.

Light turned back to the crowd. “I lied about my illness, namely because if it was real I’d lose the E rating. I was backed into a corner, and had to act fast!”

Light then turned to Flash and yelled. “You have taken my friend. Now, YOU MUST PIE!!!” Light grabbed an imaginary pie and threw it at him.

“NO!” Flash yelled out. “Look at what you have done! I’m melting, melting, oh what a world, what a world.” He said will slowly going down.

Light looked at him for a second and then turned back to the crowd. “I don’t know what he’s crying about. I missed.”

‘Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’

Light helped Flash up as the Light went to the desk and Flash took his chair. “Hey Flash, do you think I’m doing a good job?”

“No.” Flash said. “But you should still get 1 billion Points.” He said as a joke.

Light gave a bright smile as he straightened up. “Alright! One billion points for me! That’s the fun of being the host. Now I’m in the lead!”

Flash was trying to think of a good joke. “You are... The prince… of games!” Flash said, trying to be funny.

Light gave a mischievous chuckle. “Please, I already acted on one idea, don’t encourage me. Alright, we will be back with some new players soon, don’t go anywhere!”

Author's Note

Okay, next chapter we should have a few more players, but now it's time for you to participate! The next game is let's make a date, and I need some weird personalities to be on a dating show. I'll pick the ones I like the best, PM them to the players who will be the dates, and refuse to tell the one guessing who they are ahead of time.

Intro/Scenes from a hat

The crowd cheered as a voice spoke out to the crowd. “Ladies and Gentlecolts, welcome to Hooves Line is it anyway! Let’s welcome out contestants… well, contestant... FlashTruth!”

Flash gave a nervous smile as he adjusted his shades.

“And I’m Light Heart, now let’s have some fun!”

The alicorn walked through the isle of the crowd and took his seat behind the desk.

“Welcome to Hooves Live is it anyways, where everything is made up and the points don’t matter, just like G3. Look up some bronies reacting to that era of MLP, you’ll get a kick out of it. Now, let’s start this game off with our favorite game, Scenes from a hat! This is for all contestants… Flash, and until we get used to the games and get more players, I will be playing as well. The game is simple, even though we haven’t gotten requests yet, we will substitute with a few scenes we’ll make up on our own. We’ll basically come up with scenes that we will act out, starting with… Other teams Rainbow Dash may have joined.”

Flash took the initiative and stepped forward. “Welcome to the raggedy-ann fan-club.”

Light walked forward and tried to look as short as possible, getting on his knees. “Welcome to the lollipop league.”

Flash walked onto the stage. “Hello, and welcome to B.A., ballerina anonymous!”
He left the stage with a twirl.

Light walked up and acted tough. “So, you wanna be a hell’s angel?”

Flash walked onto the stage, putting his hoves into a heart. “Welcome to the FlutterJack shippers!”

Light chuckled a bit and came up with a new scene. “You know what? Ponies who don’t tend to get shipped.”

Flash walked onto the stage with a grin. “Hey!” He waved. “I’m random background pony number 47..."

'Bzzzzzzzzz'

As soon as he said that Light walked onto the stage, stood there a moment, and walked off.

FlashTruth did the same thing, then brought out FlashSentry, then all the other ponies and non-ponies from his home-town.

Light sighed as he stepped forward, using an old accent. “I’m telling you, ever since grandpa died, Granny has been needing to get back into the dating game.”

Flash walked onto the stage, acting like he was using a walker. “Oh… AppleBloom, what you younging have for me?”

“I think we were talking about the same pony.” Light said with a chuckle. “We are not taking this part out.”

Flash ran back on the stage. “A-YA! Any stallions?” he paused. Silence. “any?”

Flash walked onto the stage, acting like he was holding a baby. “Oh after we had our pegasus colt and our unicorn daughter, nopony had ever dear to consider shipping us with somepony else.” He said, trying to imitate one of the Cakes.

Light chuckled as he came up with another scene. “If other ponies were affected by poison joke.”

Light stepped forward and looked up as if he was talking to a tall pony. “So Pipsqueak, tell me again why you look like Bulky Biceps?”

Flash sat down and looked up. “So… are you like… from MoonRacer? You know the country of the miss looking.”

*Bzzzzzzzzz*

Light gets a mischievous grin as he stepped forward. “Oh! You’re from Canada?”

Flash walked back. “So you became this after drinking the water in the U.S.!?”

Light chuckled a bit. “Yes, we are in Equestria, and we are making real-world jokes, but we will not get political.”

“Derpy!? What’s with your eyes? Why are they straight?” Flash asked.

Flash brought Light on the stage with him, then started to kneel and started to act like he was worshipping him. “Oh, great unicorn, who ascended to a demi…” Light left the stage before he could finish.

“And there is your one alicorn joke for the day.” Light said with a grin.

“Failed talent show auditions.” Light said as he waited for the others to go first.

“Look at me! I can FLY!” Flash said before jumping in the air, flailing his hives around, before falling on to the ground

Light grabs his water bottle from the desk and started levitating it in front of him, his horn clearly floating. “And look! The bottle is clearly floating in the air! Can you believe it?!?”

As Light went back to his spot, he turned to Flash. “Hey, why don’t you come up with one? It’ll be fun.”

“Ok..” Flash said while thinking. “Things you should never say to a dragon.”

Flash made his back face the crowd. “Can you please scratch my back?”

Light walked forward. “Are you compensating for something?”

Flash waved his hooves in front of him. “Let me see if you have bad breath.”

Light walked back forward. “Hold still and keep that breath going. I wanna make some smores.”

“Things not to say in front of a changeling!” Flash said while pretending to read a card.

“my social security number is..” Flash started to say

‘Bzzzzzzzz’

Light walked forward. “Hey, I made a bet that I could get a selfie with Luna, so can you just change into her for a few...”

‘Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’

“You know.. My biggest fear is…”

‘Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz’

Light walked up. “I’m telling you, they are the hottest ship, and love it.” As the crowd laughed, Light took a deep breath. “Okay, what Light Heart is thinking right now.”

Light stepped forward. “Only two of us are playing. What am I thinking?”

Light waited for Flash to step forward, but he didn’t do anything. “Okay… sooner or later other players need to throw out some answers for questions like that. I still need to get over one thousand words for the first chapter, so let's do one more... Okay, What Fluttershy does for a hobby.”

“And I ship you with him, and this one with that one,” Flash said will acting like he was holding a chart.

Light stepped up and acted like he was speaking into a microphone. “And FlutterSmash is stepping onto the ropes and… OHHHH!!! She body-slammed her opponent and now has her in a headlock. This is wrestling at its prime!”

Flash walked on the stage bobing his head, before singing the lyrics to Burn It to the Ground.

The buzzer went off one more time, signifying the end of the game.

“Alright, a thousand points for FlashTruth for actually showing up for the game. We are going to be accepting applications for new players until I edit this out of the story. In a few days, we’ll have another game between me and Flash, and after that, we’ll hopefully have another player or two by then. Come back for more!” Light yelled as the lights went out. “Okay, who forgot to pay the electric bill?”

Author's Note

The next game has no suggestions, but after that one, we'll have some more players, so stick around. There is a lot more to come.

(I can't tell you the chaos it took to get this over one thousand words.)