Red vs Blue: Haycovery One

by overlord-flinx

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Other, Adventure, Pipsqueak, Spitfire, Random, Alternate Universe
Length: 3416

When the Marecenaries make a mess (mission or otherwise), it's Recovery One that handles it...

Post the conquest of the Changeling Empire multiple bases have been placed all across the world for the safety of all pony life. Somehow, a civil war has broken out between pony life, and thus the Red and Blue team were made. Each fighting for what they want, each trying to defeat the other... But when that gets a little stale, we pay a visit to Recovery One, Agent Washington, to see how a marecenary takes care of the clean up.

Based on the popular Machinima "Red Vs Blue: Recovery One". Done out of nothing else but to satisfy my desire to get this joke out early.

Marecenary-

Washington:??
South:??
York: ??
Delta:??

Pre: Red vs Blue: The Ponyville Chronicles

Post: Red vs Blue: Out of Mare.

Published 2012-08-19 22:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-26 23:19:58 UTC

Part 1: Recovered One.

Death; that's all this area smelled of. Wouldn't say it was much of an improvement of how it used to be after the fallout of Cloudsdale. The old royal castle -even more previous given the nonresistance- had seen better days; it had seen better days before the Changeling armies hit as well. But seeing the sites wasn't what brought anyone here anymore. All that brought ponies or anything to the ancient runes of the royal castle was either dark business, or in this case, cleaning up those dark businesses. And seeing the scattered corpses of slaughtered ponies, Recovery One had a long way to go.

The young pony stepped sickly over corpse after corpse, trying not to get any of their spilled out blood on his hooves. With each step, the grey armor on his body wobbled a bit, seemingly not built to fit him exactly; or at least made for a bigger pony. Unlike most 'soldiers' he remembered to wear his helmet, the yellow visor and trim molding protectively over his hornless head. After making the next hurdle of a mangled pony, he saw his objective; and pain gripped at his heart. His face couldn't be seen, but he'd know that white coat under that heavy tan armor anywhere. A shaky breath went between his lips under his helmet and he moved in, repeating to himself his orders.

The soldier got down a bit and began to fiddle with the tan armor of the fallen target. He wasn't familiar with this sort of work, but he did have some basic training with it. And within a few minutes of trying, he final got the result he needed with a shimmering green light starting to emit from the suit. The light quickly took the shame of a very small pony, however it looked very much an adult mare with a completely green color. "Display up and running... Functions starting to recover..." the holographic mare started to say as it checked itself out slowly; but that came to an end when it spotted the giant pony standing before it, "Hello, is there something you need?"

This was what all his training was for, to remember what to do in this situation. Remembering the protocol came back easily to him and he cleared his throat, trying to seem in control. "'Dentify yourself."

"Please speak clearly," the hologram mare informed him in a bland tone.

"Sorry... I-I mean. Identify yourself."

"Will do: I am intelligence program Delta, or Cheerilee as my -now deceased- partner called me; created for use and programs within The Marecenaries. I was given to Agent York. Or, Shining Armor to his friends, heh," for a moment, the monotone of her voice moved away and she seemed almost happy, but that was quickly dashed by her next piece of information, "But, those are past logs seeing as he is deceased..."

"Real shame to see," there wasn't much else for him to say so he got up to his hooves and moved away, "give me a minute..."

With a tap of his hoof against his own helmet a radio garble scratched against his ears as he waited for his reception. "Command? This is Recovery One? I foun' the Del'a A.I. Seems alright..."

His message was answered, but the mare on the other line didn't sound at all pleased. "Yeah, yeah, this is Command. Get us a full inventory report on the holder before you blow him sky-high..."

"A'right... But why do ya' need--"

"Recovery One, just give me a roger and do the job," the mare's tone started to grow annoyed, which brought a sigh out of Recovery One.

"Roger Command. Recovery One out..." he clicked a hoof against his helmet again before returning to the little green projection standing on the back of the killed soldier. "Del'a, run a full check on the suit. And if it don't stress ya' too much, do it with details on armor components, and whatever else could be useful."

"Will do," after a short static sound, the AI looked up to Recovery One, "Done. All the recorded equipment is here and intact. The suit is also at 70% capacity."

Recovery One felt a smile tug under his helmet, "Pretty good for a locksmith..." Pleasantries dispatched, he knew he had to do the ugly work now. "Say... Think you can countdown for me? Starting at 'hundred."

"Certainly... One hundred..." as she started her countdown, Recovery One started to fidget at the armor she was held in, carrying out his job. "Ninety-nine. Ninety-eight..." A thought suddenly popped into the AI's mind and she looked to the soldier before her. "May I ask you a question?"

"As long as ya' di'n't lose count, go ahead," he answered as he continued to fiddle with the suit; this would've been easier if he had a horn.

"Why wasn't I destroyed? When the one who has the AI is killed, normally all programs are killed with them."

"Yeah," he sighed and seemed to slow down his fiddling, "That's wha' I thought at firs'. I mean, they tol' me that's 'ow it worked. But you were encrypted until you could be recovered... Don't know how that works, but I don't get paid to know how things work. I'm here to recover you is all."

"Recovery comes with a few risks. With destruction, it's sure to keep an A.I. out of enemy hands," the AI pointed out, a cheery tone coming into play over the somewhat dull voice.

"Complainin'?"

"Not in the slightest! Just making a fact known to you."

"I got'cha, Cheerilee. But ya' cost a lot a pretty penny, righ'? Saves that pretty penny a bit if we keep ya' over scrappin' ya'. Don't like it, bring it up to the money mares at base..." He pointed out with some heavy tones in his voice.

"Of course. I am sorry if I offended you in anyway."

"No foul, promise," finishing up his job, Recovery One looked at the AI directly, "Now, move yourself into something por'able. We're gettin' out of 'ere."

"Portable components are good... But you could also move me in to your own A.I. slot. Seems free at this moment. Will only take--"

"Eh, no thanks."

"Do not worry. If you are not used to it, I can walk you through how to put me through. We'll be done in one, two--"

"Nuh-uh. Not my thing."

A moment of silence fell between the two; rather odd considering the 'ticking clock'. "...Are you Agent Pipsqueak?"

"It's Washington, and yes..." under the helmet, the boy gritted his teeth at the mention of his name.

"Then I do not need further explaining. You had... difficulties... with your own A.I.."

"Thanks fo' brin'in' that up, Delta..." Washington grumbled under his helmet.

"Given the situation, maybe deletion would be the best solution. As I stated--"

"'With destruction, it's sure to keep an A.I. out of enemy hands', I remember. But just relax. Don't think any danger of getting hijacked by one of these four dead guys..." Washington chuckled a little.

"...Three..."

Pip looked up at the AI talking to him, a bit confused. "Huh?"

"You made a mistake. You said there are four dead bodies. By my count through my sensors there are only--" as she spoke, a spray of bullets were fired on Washington, one of which knocking his helmet back and toppling it to the floor.

His head exposed, the little, brown eyed pony looked startled and made a run for a stone wall behind him. "Buck! Could'a warned me soon'a!" He screamed to the AI as he bolted as quickly as he could to the cover of the wall.

Still in earshot, Cheerilee spoke up so she could be heard. "I think you should get your gun out and fight back."

"Oh yeah? Ya' think of that all on yer' own?" angry at the loss of his helmet, Pip's tone started to gain a harshness.

Not waiting for another rain of bullets to take another swipe at his head, he hit a button on his armor to unlatch a a battle rifle from under his armor and reconnect to the length of his right arm. Not the traditional way for an Earth Pony to use arms, but the way he had grown used to. However, his train of thought was cut short as he saw a sparking ball roll out in front of him. "...Damn it..." he cursed before rolling around the corner he came from to escape the impending explosion.

When he heard the explosion go off and made his way around the corner, he saw his target. Unmistakeable was that white armor against that pristine white coat and glossy violet mane. Though he didn't have long to see his assaulter as she began to fire at him with two guns floating by her head with a magical grasp. Unicorns get all the breaks...

Quick as he could, Pip aimed his armed limb at his target, firing at her as well as he could given the wrong side his rifle was on. The two fired bullet after bullet at one another before he saw his enemy duck behind a crumbled wall. He would've fired at an easy target, but with an empty click coming from his own gun, he knew it would be impossible. The older mare looked at him for a second before reloading her guns; although she didn't fire at him. Instead, she darted off in the opposite direction without a word.

"...Why di'n't she attack?" He wondered out-loud.

"My guess? She figured out that Shining's equipment was about to go off... Not to push the idea, but it'll be in about four--"

"BUCK! Get in storage, now!" Pip ordered in a sharp and high voice as he clambered to re-latch his rifle into his armor and move to recover what he came for.

"Understood..." the green AI sunk into the storage set aside for her by the body of her old partner.

Pip took not a moment to look at the 'ticking' body of his old friend as he collected his items, his helmet included, and made a leap over the ledge, tucking the AI into his chest who was still counting down. As he heard a zero from his chest, he saw the air above him fill with a plume of fire and ash as a signal that Shining Armor -agent York- was no-more. Pip's hooves made contact with the grass below and he groaned once more. "Give this mission this... Went better then last time..."

With a bit of a limp, he moved on towards his jeep parked just outside the castle he was at. As he moved along, he heard a crackle of sound coming from his helmet tucked under one of his limbs. He slid his helmet on so he could hear, "Recovery One, this is Command, we have a level one distress signal, better get moving to it."

"Don't worry, Command," Pip formed a smile under his helmet as he fit his hooves into the pumps of his jeep's mechanisms, "I jus' took care of it. Headin' home..."

"Not happening, Recovery One. This is a new signal."

"Really? That's the fifth one this week alone..."

"Yeah, doesn't stop it from happening..."

Sighing to himself, Pip clicked his helmet after a request for the coordinates. He clicked the engine on by stomping a front hoof down. "I'm on my way..."

Part 2: Innocence Lost.

South Dakota and North Dakota. The Twins as they were called on most logs. The two of them were the best fliers in Equestria... When Equestria wasn't a smouldering pit of ash. They were once part of a group called the Wonderbolts before she recruited them into the Marecenaries. No one would say that they were the best, or even close. But, anyone would say that they were hard to top when they were together. And, seeing as they were always together, they were on the board for some time. South and North, or Spitfire and Soarin'; it was pretty funny. They were called the twins, they were always together, and they were almost like mirror opposites of one another. Ponies found it strange that with all of that to them, they weren't even related.

Pipsqueak hadn't seen Soarin' for some time. He hadn't seen Spitfire either, but he could live with that. Soarin' was always a pretty kind soul, never one to be quick to anger. That was something to be admired when your partner is a time bomb of rage. But, the young pony wished he hadn't seen Soarin' now. The arrival to the remains of Appleloosa already didn't bode much good will to him. With the town's beaten appearance, fallen clock tower, and steady stream of muddy water going through the center of the town; this was a town that -like most of Equestria these days- has been a lot better. Even so, what chilled Pipsqueak to the core of his armor was the site he came upon. Two bodies. One stunned in wide eyed fear, and the other dangling his spiked blue hair off of a ledge; motionless.

Recovery One was only sent for retrieval of Marecenaries so their equipment didn't fall into the wrong handlers. If a Changeling got their hooves on any of this gear? Chaos... And not the chocolate rain kind. Pip understood his duty all too well... But that didn't make seeing an old friend under these cases any easier. A lot inside of Pip just told him not to say anything with her standing there. Not only is that rude, but... But Spitfire was like family to Soarin'. It seemed to be in bad taste. Pip had to take a moment and just look at the two one last time before he did his... job.

Spitfire, Agent South, still looked as sharp as ever. Even with her stunned, disbelieving expression, anypony could have seen her pride laying low under it all. Her rifle, like all pegasi in the Marecenaries, was strapped against her light purple armor at a range that her wing could slip in to flip it and start firing. Pegasi caught all the breaks after the unicorns...

Soarin'... Couldn't even bare to look at him. Unlike Shining Armor, the way Soarin' was laying made it look like there wasn't much of a fight. Maybe, at the very least, he was taken from behind and didn't feel much. That... sort of made Pip feel a little better. He sighed a little and slid a hoof against his own mane before looking at Spitfire. Here comes the hard part. "I... I don' get it... 'Is motion trackers were set. Nopony could a' got by 'im without 'im known..." Pip scowled a bit with a sickness as he looked at the blood against Soarin's dark armor back. "Maybe ya' got somet'in' in your logs, Sou'?" Pip was answered with a silence, prompting him to look up. "Sou'? Spitfi'ah!"

Spitfire tossed her head up listlessly and looked the questioner dead in the eyes, dry and empty. "W-What?" she choked out at barely a dust of a cough.

"Gotta' ask ya' to stay focused, Sou'. A'right?" These kind of situations weren't really Pip's forte. "I get that 'e was... 'e was somet'in' to ya'," Pip could see Spitfire's face drop a bit at that notion, so he hurried on, "T-T'e soon'ah I get some piece toget'e'ah, soon'ah we can... Do... stuff..."

This didn't really seem to do much in helping Spitfire. But, she looked back at her partner and shook her head dreadfully. "I get it. Sorry..."

"Fret not... You got a log on anyt'in' that might--"

"Nothing," Spitfire cut in with a sharp tone before twisting back and looking away from Soarin' and Pip as her wings curled against her, "I've got nothing. All I have is a shaking body, ears blown out by a scream, and an old friend on the ground dead..." her words were very harsh, but sincere.

She wasn't lying... At least Pip couldn't tell if she was. But, that didn't clean up the story enough. This call was the same as Shining's; which meant one thing. "T'e call for me ta' get 'ere was a good few hours ago, Spit..."

"Yeah..." Spitfire's tone wasn't as shaken as before when she replied.

"You... Wanna tell me somet'in'?" Pip inquired more, making him feel even worse about this.

When Spitfire looked back around, her golden eyes narrowed a bit with some sort of shame. "...He had Meena..."

Philomeena... AI Theta... "I onced over Soarin's body, Spit..." Pip didn't want to say it... "Did--"

"Did I take it?" Spitfire stepped closer to Pip, her wing clipping to her rifle soundly. "Did I rob my partner's corpse? Is that what you're asking me?" Before she could draw her gun, Pip shook his head and moved his helmet up that he had between his legs to shield himself from her; causing her to put her wing down and scoff at the colt. "Good... Because I wouldn't cheat a good stallion like that."

With Spitfire slowly retreating away from him, Pip put his helmet onto his head and clicked it on. "Still a ray a' sunshine..." he mumbled from the relative safety of his helmet, "...Ya' might wanna step away for some time... I gotta do, it, to 'im now..."

"So that's it, huh?" Spitfire seemed to laugh bitterly at that.

Taking a good friend away forever from someone? Why did this job have to be this way? "I-I'll give you a few--"

"Just one minute..." Spitfire cut in again. She took a knee down and propped Soarin' off of the edge and rested his blank face onto the stone. "...Just give me a minute with him..." there was that soft tone of hers that convinced some level of honesty.

Pip left her to do what she wanted as he went down one of the broken planks. His hoof clicked against his helmet, starting up a call to his base. The radio crackled a bit before that dry, uncaring tone came over the speakers in his helmet. "Wash, I'm picking up your secure. Report."

"I found 'em..."

"How're they looking?"

"Soar--Agent North is... is dead... Agent South is a little mixed up, but alive..."

"North's AI?"

A friend just died, and all you care about is...? "...It wasn' 'ere..." Pip's voice gritted with a tone of bitterness as he said those words.

"Bad luck I guess. Give me a second..." the line cut for a moment, leaving Pip's head to go silent if only for a moment. When it cut back, Pip staggered at the sudden voice. "You know the drill from here, Recovery. Clean up, check out, and call us back after."

"Got it..." Pip was ready to cut the line before he heard another tone.

"Also, the mission is now upped to level zero."

His heart fell to ice... "W-What?"

"Leave nothing, Recovery. Those are the orders."

"Y-you gotta be kiddin'?"

"I don't kid, do your duty..." the line cut out and left Pip stunned cold.

Level Zero... Of all the things to do today. First Shining Armor, then Soarin', and now...? Pip took his helmet off and looked up into the sky, remarking at how cloudy yet vacant in looked. He didn't look at it long before deciding to head back to Spitfire, seeing that she was still stroking Soarin's hair. "Spit... Time--"

"It's funny..." Spitfire ignored Pip for the third time in their short meeting, deciding to speak her mind to someone that could hear her. "When you decide to hook yourself up with your best friend in your first year of camp, you feel like nothing can keep you apart. Soon, everypony else starts thinking that too. You're not your own mare any more, you're just a package deal. I kind of hated that. I was the leader between the two of us, but he was always praised as the more skilled. I dreamed sometimes of days I wouldn't have him to hold me in one place..." her hateful tone suddenly became soft and very... strange, "Now, with him laying here, I wonder how I can go on without him?"

"Y... Ya got other things ta' worry 'bout..." Pip's armor creaked slightly as his pistol unlatched and stretched to connect to his outstretched hoof. As he jerked his hoof back, the gun fired at South dully. "...Sorry..."