"STOP RIGHT THERE CRIMINAL SCUM!" was the first thing I heard upon loading my game save.
"Oh yeah, that's right, I'm not on my Khajiit character," I commented, "This is my Nord Tank build, so of course i'd get caught trying to steal Wabbajack." The Daggerfall Guard gave me the usual spiel that I had heard at least 143 times already. I opted to flee as Wabbajack was a quest item, so who knows what bugs may occur if I either pay the fine or go to jail.
The Elder Scrolls VI: High Rock had admittedly been very fun up to this point, but I had a few gripes, namely that it seemed that the had just reused the old Guard voice lines from Oblivion, and that on occasion, the boat you started on would capsize on its own accord, but either than that, it was a fairly decent game.
The quest I was currently on was part of the expansion: Sheogorath's Revenge. It was really fun. I mean for the third game in the row, you could visit the Shivering Isles, though this time it was more akin to Oblivion than Skyrim. That last fact made me happy as I had particularly enjoyed the Shivering Isles expansion from Oblivion.
But I digress, getting away from the Daggerfall Guard was easy. Getting to the load door of Daggerfall was not. Eventually, through side roads and alleys, I made it the the main gate and exited High Rock's capital.
"Oh thank you Lord who thou art in heaven, thank you for turning those guard behind me into frogs." I said. A presence in my head became incredibly upset at that, but I payed it no mind. I then promptly brought up the map and fast traveled to the Shornhelm Caves where Jyg Ga-lag was supposed to meet me. Upon arrival however my character was frozen in place. I began to move my hand to use the command Ctrl Alt Del, but was surprised when it refused to comply.
My chair was then spun around, and standing in my room was Sheogorath, the Daedric Prince of Madness himself. I could see the pure anger in his eyes.
"Nicholas! I help you in that pitiful settlement. I take time out of my day to turn those guards into frogs, and you thank God!?!" He exclaimed. In a much calmer voice, but with a hint of venom. " I had to dig through all of that shit code to do that." He paused, "I don't particularly like Bethesda, especially after they replaced Wes Johnson with Liam Neeson in this game." He paused again, before adding." Now I have nothing against Liam, but Wes Brought that touch of insanity."
I thought his tirade was over, but Sheogorath had more in store for me. "I have decided, that for your crimes against me, You will be sent somewhere almost as insane as my little home in Oblivion." He said. The Daedric Prince of madness then picked up my phone and called his contact on the other side. "AH yes, hello Discord, how have you been? Good? Great, I have an acquaintance I'm sending over and I want you to put him with Sparky. WHAT? Her fucking library's gone? Send him to her new home then. Why do you want to know his room size? It's about 15 feet by 9 feet. You want it in meters? Please hold." Sheogorath sighed, and then let out the most imaginative flurry of curses I had ever heard. "His room is 4.572 meters by 2.7432 meters, you happy? I can send him over now? Great. Tell Tia and Lulu I said hi." He then promptly hung up, and bitch-slapped me with a rubber chicken, knocking me out cold.
When I awoke, my head was on my keyboard, the console command chat open and numerous letters in the chat-box. I stood up and stretched. Posters? Check. Death Wish CoffeeTM Flag? Check. Crystalline Floor and Ceiling? Check. Wait, what was that last one? True to my thoughts, my usually carpeted floor and painted ceiling were now replaced with Crystal. Looking under my desk, I saw that there weren't any cords, same to behind the small bookshelf my TV and games rested on, as well as where my bedside tables and loft bed mounted light. The strangest thing however, the floor still felt like carpet.
I stood up and walked to the window. something told me to air on the side of caution, so I peeked through the blinds, and saw I was over 23 stories up. "This is different." I said.
"It is isn't it?" A voice from behind me said.
"S'up Q?" I asked, without looking.
"Well well, It's been a while since anyone used that name." Discord announced, "But how'd you know it was me?"
"Tia, Lulu, Sparky? Not to mention our friendly neighborhood Daedra dropped your name in his call with you." I said, looking around my room, "This why you wanted the dimensions? To plop me in Twilight's castle? Also, why intercept me immediately, I already Know Pinkie Pie knows I'm here, so why risk getting caught?"
"Those are both good questions," Discord responded, "But to answer them, yes, and she isn't that good."
"You sure about that?" I asked, pointing to a fresh cupcake on my desk.
"Ok, maybe she is that good, but that isn't why i'm here." Discord continued, "I'm actually here to wipe your memories of Twilight's little adventures."
"Go for it," I said, before adding, "I stopped watching after the 7th season anyways. Speaking of which, where are we? Timeline speaking I mean."
"Season 8 premiere happens in a week." Discord said, "Any-who, bippity bobbity, your memories are my property."
Discord disappeared immediately after an I was left to my own devices. seeing as it was now 9pm, I saved my game in TES 6, turned my computer off and and lied down on my couch. "Neat, I still have Wifi." I said to my self before unconsciousness took me away.
Author's Note
Well then, first chapter done. I'm gonna say this right off the bat, not all of the chapters are going to be this short, It's just the product of me writing a story at 2AM. Hope you enjoy!
