Spike’s Cake Buns
Author’s Note: N - I am not a silly pony >:T
O- This is just N & O. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SPELLS? NO. G THIS IS FOR YOU WE LOVE YOU.
Twilight was out with the rest of her home-ponies and Spike was home alone, he grinned deviously, knowing exactly what he was going to do.
Walking over to the stack of paper on the desk, he grabbed a sheet and a quill, and set to work straight away.
Dear Rarity -
How you doin’? I’m at home and girl I’ve been feeling so alone lately, we should hang ou-
No! That sounded awful! He crumpled up the paper with hardly anything written on it and tossed it into a corner of the room with a glare. He just wanted to express his deepest and darkest feelings of love towards her, not rape her.
He needed something to make her immediately fall in love with him, to send with his feelings. Declarations of love needed that extra something to let the receiver know just how desperate you are to love them and their beautiful purple, long, flowing mane and their pretty big eyes and- he got it! There was only one thing he knew that Rarity liked, and that was jewels, so he decided that what he needed to give her was a nice giant pile of cake buns. He was sure it would relate to jewels somehow.
So he set to work! He put on his pink and white frilly apron- A gift from Rarity herself. Now, for the cake buns. He looked up at the cupboards and realized he was too small to reach them. Grumbling, he went and retrieved a chair, and opened the doors to the cupboard.
“Hmm... Well, cakes need flour, so let’s take that.” He said, “And buns need nice soft buttery butter, so I’ll definitely need that. And I don’t know if I should have frosting, since buns don’t have frosting...unless we’re talking about cinnamon buns.” With this thought process in mind he took down all (what he felt) of the necessary ingredients.
“Hey Spike! Whattaya doin’? I was hanging out with Rainbow Dash you see and we were pulling some really great pranks and then I saw you through the window and you looked so lonely and like you were working on something, and I know that sometimes when you work on something it’s good to have some help so I thought that I should come here and help you!”
“Oh Pinkie Pie! Thanks for the offer, in fact I was about to bake Rarity some cake buns, do you think you could help out?”
“What are cake buns?” Pinkie Pie asked with a confused look. “Oh! Are they like little cakes? Those are cupcakes, silly! And boy, do I sure know how to make cupcakes! Rainbow flavore- I mean delicious cupcakes.”
“What? No! They’re like a bun and a cake combined into one delicious baked treat!”
“Okie-dokie-lokie-mokie-fokie-tokie-wokie!!!” Pinkie Pie yelled while prancing around the kitchen, “So what flavor is it?”
“Cake Bun flavor?”
“Alright then, let’s get started! Do you have all the ingredients ready?”
“Yes, they’re all right here!”
Pinkie glanced at the array of items on the table and suddenly looked quite green in the face, “Interesting choice of ingredients there Spikey...”
“I took everything in a cake and a bun and then all of my favorite foods!” Spike grinned, “That way it’s extra special to Rarity!”
“Uhh okay,” Pinkie said shrugging, she wasn’t scared of a few...eccentric ingredients, “Let’s mix them all together!”
“Alright!” Spike replied enthusiastically, reaching out for the bag of sugar, only for his hand to be slapped away by Pinkie Pie.
“No, silly! We have to sing!” Suddenly upbeat music began in the background and Pinkie Pie somehow obtained a tophat.
Hey there silly dragon I heard you wanna make
Pretty Rarity some bun cakes
“Well, no, actually they’re cake buns...”
You got all the stuff that you will need
But you forgot the most important part- the Baker’s Creed
“The baker’s WHAT?”
Before you bake a goody, any type of thing
The most important part is you gotta siiiiiiiiing!!
“I’d rather not...”
Do you want your bakin’
To be so good that she’s achin’?
Then you little dragon, to start your romantic fling
“No! It’s not like that!”
You gotta siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiing!
Suddenly the music ended, and there, sitting on the counter, were a dozen freshly baked cake buns.
“Wha... How...” Spike stuttered.
“Well, go on silly! Go and take them to Rarity!” Pinkie Pie said, sticking half a dozen of the treats in a box, topping it off with a bow “And when you get to her, to make sure the treats are extra-tasty be sure to sing again!”
“B-but I didn’t even sing this time!”
“Go, go, go, go!” Pinkie Pie encouraged him, shoving him out the door, when she closed it she leaned her back against it and let out a large gust of air, “May the power of pony song save him, I mean even I wouldn’t eat those cake buns, and I put hot sauce on my cupcakes!”
Spike ran around all of Ponyville trying to find Rarity, a large smile stretched across his face, today was going to be the day that Rarity finally saw him for the dragon he was and fall madly in love- with him, of course.
He finally found her, sitting with Fluttershy and Twilight, sipping tea under a tree. Her mane was swooped over one of her sapphire eyes as she let out an elegant laugh.
“Oh dear, Twilight, you must simply see the new stallion in town, I think his name is Edward, I think you two would make a lovely match.”
“Rarity! Stop trying to set me up with stallions I don’t even know, besides I’m going to be going back to school for some reason or another in a few days and I can’t afford any distractions.”
“I’m going back to school with her,” Fluttershy mumbled, ruffling her wings slightly, “I need to brush up on bunny ritua- I mean, I need to brush up on my gardening skills.”
“Oh you two are so drab! How will you ever find love?” Rarity said, posing dramatically while tossing her head back.
“Rarity!” Spike called out, running up to her holding out the box of cakes.
“Oh Spike, whatever are you doing here?” Rarity asked in confusion, batting her eyelashes, spotting the parcel she smiled, “Oh my is that for me?”
“Uh yeah! But before you eat them I wrote this song for you...” Spike cleared his throat a bit before he belted out his serenade.
Rarity is a pretty pony
Pretty pony, pretty pony
Rarity is a pretty pony
Who is really hot .
Rarity please marry me
Marry me, marry me
Please marry me
I love you a lot
“Uhh, Spike that sounds a lot like Mary Had a Little Lamb...” Twilight said, a look of exasperation on her face.
“Hush Twilight Sparkle, I have never heard such beautiful, eloquent, and true lyrics in my entire life!” Rarity said, tossing her mane (again) before untying the ribbon upon the box and opening it, “Oh Spikey-Wikey! What are they?”
“They’re Cake Buns! I made them just for you, they’re extra special!”
“Oh my! They look absolutely...unique!” Rarity picked one up and took a bite of it, barely able to hold back the gag from the foul taste, “Uh...it’s really something Spike.”
Spike beamed with pride and felt as if he were floating on a cloud of pink, soft, love flying towards a sea of hope, “Does this mean you’ll go on a date with me?”
“Oh, Spike, you’re a perfectly nice dragon, and I’m sure you’ll meet a wonderful dragon-lady someday who you’ll be able to bake as many bun cakes for as you’d like, but I’m afraid that my heart belongs to someone already.”
“What?” Spike’s world crashed around him leaving him in a blanket of despair.
“Yes, his name is Tom, and he is the biggest and bravest thing in all of Equestria! Of course, he’s a bit stubborn, and sometimes won’t budge, but I love him so!”
“But I wrote you a song, I baked you Cake Buns!”
“I appreciate the effort, but I’m afraid I’m a taken mare!”
Twilight Sparkle sighed before standing up and putting the saddened Spike on her back, “Well I might as well take him home, he’s probably won’t recover from this rejection for a long time, possibly even five or ten minutes, so I should put him to rest, see you in school for some reason in a couple of days Fluttershy!”
“Alright,” Fluttershy responded, “I need to check in on Angel right now, he needs to be extra tender for the mea- I mean taken care of for the next few weeks, he’s rather sick.”
“But...I made her Cake Buns....”
The Next Installment:
Spike exacts his revenge upon Rarity and Tom at their wedding by hiding well-placed bombs in the Cake Buns. Pinkie Pie sings about it.
NO JUST KIDDING IT’S OVER.
