Friendchips Are Amazing: Part One
OKAY, READ THIS FIRST. THE REAL NAMES OF THE YOUTUBERS IN THIS STORY ARE AS FOLLOWS:
PEWDIEPIE -- FELIX
NOVA -- JAMES
EGORAPTOR -- ARIN
TOBUSCUS -- TOBY
SIMON -- SIMON
LEWIS -- LEWIS
NOW READ AND ENJOY IT. GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.
Thought Processes Of Each Pony:
PewDiePie - What in the name of penis is happening?!
Nova - WTF IS HAPPENING!!! BLBVBAHMIBZDF *incomprehensible*!!!!!!!!!11!!!!1!1
Toby - SUNSHINE AND RAINBOWS AND VORTEX AND RAINBOWS
Egoraptor - HAY. What in the FUCK IS HAPPENING?!
Lewis - Oh lord!
Simon - You were young~ So free~ Why don't you fly through a giantwormhole with me~
DAWN OF THE FIRST CHAPTER
51 EPISODES REMAIN
Lewis came to his senses after being hurled through what felt like an eternal portal for, well, an eternity. "What the.. Where am I?" he asked himself, looking around at the brightly colored landscape. He noticed that he was somewhere that looked vaguely familiar. Like something he had seen in a television show at some point in his life. "This seems... Happy." he said in a mildly confused tone, looking back towards the direction he was originally sitting in. That's when he noticed it. A large, picture laden book with a leather binding on it.
"What's all this then?" he pondered, scanning over the pages curiously. The caption under one of the largest and most blue images. The description below the image said 'The Elements Of Harmony'. Lewis thought to himself for a short moment before placing a hoof to his chin and saying, "Elements Of Harmony.. Sounds familiar, but where have I heard that befo-" He was cut off by a sudden realization. He put a hoof to his chin. A hoof.
"Bloody hell! I've turned into a horse thing!" he nearly shouted, looking up towards the sky now.
[Obligatory theme song, obligatory theme song, ahhhahhhahhhahhh~]
As Lewis walked down the dirt laden path, he could do nothing but think to himself and smile to try and blend in with the crowd. He was about at the end of his pathway when a group of three, of course, pastel colored mares approached him and stopped him dead in his tracks. "Hay there Twilight!" the creme mare in the center exclaimed before continuing, "Moondancer's having a little get-together over in the main courtyard! Wanna come?" she asked exuberantly, she and her friends all leaning forward with expectant smiles.
"U-um.. Sorry fillies, I've uh.." Lewis' mind raced to find an excuse to simply go to where his instincts were telling him was his destination. "To, um.. To polish my luscious lavender horsey ass! Yeah, lots of polishing to do..!" It took him a moment to realize what he had actually just said. "Oh bullocks! Just pretend I didn't say that." he commanded, dashing off in his forward path and completely ignoring the murmuring ponies he had left behind in his trail.
'Oh Celestia, where am I?! Ponies, Elements Of Harmo-whatever!' he thought to himself in mild shock. Would he get back to Earth and retake his place as YouTube comedy gold, would he ever see his friends again? Things just didn't seem to make sense anymore! His mind was alive with thoughts as he charged towards the large castle complex with a spiral staircase leading to his presumed domain.
Galloping up the outdoor stairwell, Lewis continued to bottle up all his thoughts and continuous fears of the situation at hoof and what may have caused it. As he reached the top of the flight of steps, Lewis forcefully threw open the pair of doors, knocking a certain green and purple baby dragon from his peaceful stroll into the wall.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAH" he screamed simply to let it all out before looking around the room he had barged into. He noticed the small green dragon and stared at it for a moment as it regained its composure. "GAH!" he exclaimed, darting past him and up a smaller staircase to an area filled with bookshelves and a large hourglass. He was panicking heavily and beginning to break out in a heavy sweat.
"Ugh.. What's your deal..?" the green dragon asked as he stood and rubbed his head with a claw. Lewis spun around and gawked at him unknowingly. "I don't know!!" he shouted, still freaking out at everything that was happening. He began frantically searching through the bookshelves as the small dragon grumbled about some sort of moon dancing party.
"I don't have time for this, I need to get back..!" Lewis yelled, throwing book before book aside in his search. "None of these are helping me..!" he said, looking up at the rest of the books on the large shelf and thinking, 'Celestia, I need to look through all of these?!' It was with this thought that one by one the books began sliding off the shelf and floating around him, their covers opening to show their contents. As each book revealed itself, he continued to deny each of them as being the book that he needed.
After about six or seven books he paused, letting the magic aura around them vanish as they fell to the floor. "How the fuck am I even holding these?!" he cried, looking over his hooves and the books that lay now upon the floor. "Hay, Twilight! Is this the book you need?" the green dragon called from atop a ladder, holding up a thick blue book.
'Who in the bloody hell is Twilight..?' Lewis thought to himself, his mind suddenly realizing that if he simply played along with things that he may wind up finding what he needed after all. "U-um, yes! That's it!" he replied, the dragon hopping down and delivering the book unto the awaiting lavender pony. Realizing that he had no hooves, he went to grab it in his mouth.
"Uhh, Twilight..? Why don't you just carry it with your magic..?" the green dragon asked curiously. Lewis paused, jaws open around the book as he stared at the dragon. "Um.. Just because..?" he replied locking his mandible upon the book and trotting off with it as the little green dragon went to picking up all the books that had fallen to the floor in the earlier happening. Lewis had gone over to a small desk, capable of hosting one sole single book upon its face, and placed the book open upon it. He began rapidly flipping through pages, trying to find anything that might aid him in his task of returning home.
"Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.." he spoke in a hushed whisper to himself, the pages continuing to fly before stopping on one which coincidentally held the same topic as the book from earlier had beheld. "Elements of Harmo.. Ok, what are these things?" he queried, now proceeding to read up on what the Elements were. "... See 'Mare In The Moon'?" he read aloud, a confused expression on his face as he began to flip through the pages once again.
"Mare In The Moon? That's just an old ponies tale." the green dragon said, restocking the shelves with the books that were previously on the floor. As he said this, Lewis had already found the Mare In The Moon page and was reading over it thoroughly to himself, his eyes narrowed. "What's all this then? Angry mare? Banishment to the moon? A thousand years and stars and.." he stopped himself, attempting to process all this strange new information.
Lewis turned towards the green dragon and shouted in his calmest tone,"Magic drug dragon , can you explain any of this?"
"Uh.. You can just call me Spike, you know.." Spike replied, sliding down the ladder he was standing on. He landed upon the ground gracefully as he looked towards Lewis. "But, I can't really. Maybe the Princess can! Why don't you write her a letter about this?" he suggested, pulling out a quill and parchment.
"Oh, uh.. Sure, alright." Lewis agreed, thinking about how a formal letter to the Queen would be written back where he was from. "Dear Princess, ah.. I'm kinda in a rut here, not sure what to do..! Maybe you can explain everything to me? Maybe?" he said, Spike writing down every word as it was spoken before signing it as it is normally signed and sending it off in a belch of green flame.
'Not even gonna question that.' Lewis thought to himself as he watched the note vanish.
"A bit vague for you, but alright!" Spike said, going back to restocking the books as Lewis went back to calmly pacing about, though his thoughts were anything but the same calmness. It wasn't long though before the sound of a burp was heard from across the room and behind him.
"Pardon you." Lewis said nonchalantly as he continued to examine the unique architecture of the strange building. "It's the Princess' reply, Twilight, I think now isn't the time to be joking." the dragon announced, opening and preparing to read the reply. Lewis perked up slightly at this and approached the dragon to hear the reply.
Spike cleared his throat before starting. "My dearest student, Twilight-" he began, "Knowing that you are my most valued and most prized pupil, you know that I've never felt the need to question the things you ask me. This time though, I have little to no idea what you are requesting of me. Please reply with utmost haste and I shall help as best I can!" he read, pausing and looking up at Twilight.
"It also says down at the bottom that she's sending you to Ponyville to be the supervisor of all the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration!" he announced happily, knowing he would be going with the pony who had been taking care of him since his hatching.
"... Aw, bloody hell.."
<~Later That Day~>
As Lewis and Spike rode upon a chariot being pulled by two armored pegasi from the royal guard, Spike read off a short summary of the things that they were to do while in Ponyville. There was the overseeing of the Summer Sun Celebration, as well as all the preparations needed for decorations, foods, and the basic happenings of it.
"Oh!" Spike said, "There's one more thing the Princess wants you to do while in town!" He leaned over with a smile, announcing her final task to complete whilst in Ponyville. "Make some friends!"
This brought upon a nearly instant gag of shock and face-edge-of-chariot from Lewis. "Oh, come on, Twilight!" Spike reasoned, "The Princess arranged for you to stay in a library! Doesn't that make you happy?" After a brief pause, Lewis stood up fully and proclaimed, "Y'know what? It does! Libraries have books, and there might be a book there that can help me figure out what the hay is going on!"
"Um.. Right..!" Spike agreed with a mildly confused smile. "But she also said to make some friends.. You're still going to do that right..?" he queried. Lewis thought for less than a second before confidently replying, "Well, I guess so. Not like I don't already have a million things to worry about.." His confident tone faded some by the end of his reply. Either way though, the chariot was now landing in town and they had little to no more time to discuss things.
"Maybe the ponies in Ponyville have some information about whatever it is you're freaking out about." Spike commented as a pink pony with a fluffy mane came trotting up to them. "... Wait.. Can you hear that..?" Lewis asked, the faint sound of humming becoming more and more audible as the pink pony approached them.
'Look at my horse~ My horse is amazing~' Toby thought as he hummed the song to himself, walking forward towards a peculiar purple pony. Upon arrival, he simply stopped and stared for a moment. "See? Just say hi!" Spike suggested.
"Alright then, hello there pink pony!" Lewis exclaimed, waving a bit with one of his front hooves. The pink pony waved back and laughed slightly, replying with a simple wave of its own before pausing. "Wait a second.." the pink one said. "IDEA, SAYS MY BRAIN." it exclaimed before dashing off with a comical dust cloud behind it.
Lewis stared at the cloud for a while, waiting for it to disappear. "Well that was... Let's just finish this bloody list so I can go to the library. What's the first thing we need to do?” he asked. Spike looked down at the Summer Sun Celebration: Official Overseers Checklist before happily stating, “Number One: Banquet Preparations, Sweet Apple Acres!” Lewis groaned under his breath as they both began to head off in the direction of the acres, eager to simply forget all of this and move on.
“Ok..” Lewis said, “Where’s the pony we need to talk t-” He was cut off sharply by a stetson wearing orange pony, crouching down as if to pounce but only doing what seemed like a slow approach with its eyes wide and its d’aw high.
“AGOO?~” it said, nearly two feet from Lewis. A look of realization slammed onto Lewis’ face as he stared in shock down at the orange pony. “Wait.. Simon?!” he exclaimed, taking a step forward. “AG- Wait, Lewis?!” Simon replied, equally as surprised as his friend. They spent about three full minutes just staring at each other as they both attempted to comprehend what was going on here.
“L.. Lewis..?” Simon asked once again, trying to ensure his mind wasn’t playing tricks on him. “Yes...?” Lewis answered with clarity, still having to look downwards to see his lost companion. There was a pause before Simon spoke again, but this time, he simply said, “AGOO?~” and continued approaching his buddy.
The pair burst out laughing almost instantly, while Spike was off at the taste testing table eating up all the delicious treats. “Twilight!” he called, “You’ve gotta come try these!”
“Twilight?” Simon asked, a puzzled look on his face. “Just go along with it, I think that’s who they think I am...” Lewis informed him, moving a bit closer and talking quietly. “Ah, right! Apparently, I’m Applejack or some shit like that, so call me that.” Simon said, clearly in the same situation as his pal. They both smiled for a moment at each other before walking casually over to the table of treats, Simon darting ahead at one point to make it look like he was leading ‘Twilight’ to the table.
“Well, please! Try some!” Simon insisted, Lewis standing beside the table as various ponies began trotting over to him and stuffing pastries filled with apples into his mouth. Of course, he swallowed and enjoyed every last one of them with no hesitation. It was apparent that Spike had already alerted everypony that Twilight and himself were the overseers for the Summer Sun Celebration, so Lewis just continued eating every treat after treat he was given.
Once everything he had been fed was finished, Lewis was nearly on his back with his stomach in the air, Simon walked over with a smile and whispered into Lewis’ ear, “I’m in character around them, so just play along here...” Before Lewis could respond, Simon instantly began introducing the Apple family to him, one by one.
“This is Apple Fritter, Apple Bumpkin, Red Velvet, Red Delicious, Golden Delicious, Caramel Apple, Apple Strudel, Apple Tart, Baked Apples, Apple Pie, Apple Turnover, Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, aaaaand...” she shoved another apple in her mouth, ”Granny Smith!” he stated in one long breath,nearly collapsing when he was finished as the entire family said their hello’s.
“Everypony, this is Lew-- I mean, Twilight!” Simon introduced with a grin, ‘Twilight’ giving a small wave, along with her companion Spike. “Right, well... I suppose we should get out of here right about now.” Lewis stated, standing up slowly and brushing himself off.
“Aren’t ya’ gonna stay for brunch?” a small voice asked in a sad tone, Lewis biting his lip
and nearly screaming at the adorable. “W-well... I suppose, I could...” he said, the entire family cheering happily.
<~Later Again~>
“Alright, foods all taken care of..” Spike proclaimed, checking the first item off their list before continuing, “Next up is weather!” he finished, looking behind himself to see where ‘Twilight’ was. Lewis was lagging behind the baby dragon with a stomach that nearly hit the ground from being overstuffed.
“Ugh..” he groaned, “I ate too much everything...” Spike shrugged this off and continued along their shared path into town. “Huh.. There’s supposed to a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds..” Lewis looked around, his gaze upon the sky. “Well, she’s doing an absolutely phenomenal job of it.” he said sarcastically.
Then, a strangely raspy voice screamed from the side, the sound drawing closer as it became recognizable. “WATCH THE FUCK OUT!!” it shouted before its owner slammed headfirst into Lewis, knocking them both into a large puddle of conveniently placed mud. The pair sat there silent for a short moment.
“Well, excuse ME.” the pony said as Lewis let out another groan and stood up. “Here, let me help you by MAKIN’ IT RAIN.” the same pegasus said again, throwing a stormcloud above Lewis and stomping on it to pour rain down upon him. He then looked down over the edge of the now white cloud and said, “SHIT, too much!“
Lewis sighed as the pegasus swooped down and landed beside him. “Here, I got this.” he said, proceeding to blow air from its mouth onto Lewis in a teasing attempt to dry him off. “Oh, come on now..” Lewis said, shaking himself down and getting a good portion of the water off. “Nono, here. I said I got this, bitch.” the pegasus spewed, jumping up now and swirling around Lewis at a speed so high that it created a rainbow tornado. “TORNADO POWAH.”
When he had finished, he landed upon the ground with an egotistical grin. “There ya go, no need to thank me.” he added before noticing how poofy his drying had made the purple unicorn’s mane. It was then that he and Spike both broke out in hysterical laughter, falling onto the ground and nearly going into tears.
Lewis, completely aware of the situation, followed suit and fell over laughing, his newly formed afro giving his head a comfortable pillow of sorts. “So, I’m guessing you’re Rainbow Dash, then?” Lewis asked, still laughing.
The cyan pony stopped laughing momentarily and then stood bolt upright. “That’s what everyone’s calling me! Why? You tryin’ to start somethin’, fuzzhead?” he said, positioning himself to charge at the purple ‘mare’. “I, uh, well..” Lewis started, getting interrupted by Spike, ”Why would you start something when you can’t even clear the sky?” he prodded.
“WHAT! I’ll- I’ll show you, drug dragon!” the pony said, her rainbow mane whipping around as her burning scarlet eyes were revealed to fully glare daggers at Spike. “You think I’m weak, huh?! YOU THINK I’M WEAK!?! God- God DAMMIT, GOD DAMMIT! FUCK YOU! YOU FUCKIN’ PIECE OF SHIT!”
Still screaming and cussing up a storm, Rainbow rocketed off into the sky, and smashed himself into every cloud he saw, destroying them like his keyboard that one time the guy used the dye, which is apparently cheating. And that time he learned you had to repair things in Dead Island. As a matter of fact, how many keyboards has that guy gone through?! Anyways, back to the story.
“GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT! GODDAMMIT! FUCK YOU! I’LL KILL YOU, YOU FUCKIN’ LIL’ PIECES OF SHIT CLOUDS AND I’M A GODDAMN HORSE WITH MOTHERFUCKIN’ WINGS!!”
’Wait.. Is that James?’ Twilewis thought to himself, a periodic expression of confusion and shock spreading across his lavender face. “.. Um.. Um.. Yeah... We should probably leave now...” Spike whispered nervously to his companion, taking a single step backwards.
Heeding the words of the dragons voice, Twilewis and Spike quickly shuffled away from the pegasus’ rage-shitstorm-thing and tentatively checked off ‘Weather Control’ from the list. Besides, it didn’t take much to get this guy angry, so one little insult could probably clear the darkest and thickest of clouds!
“Next up; decorations!” Spike announced as they walked into Ponyville’s town hall. Banners hung from balconies and the ceiling in a spectrum of colors and shapes, Twilewis looking around curiously as they strolled in.
“Beautiful..” Spike muttered, the pair stopping in their tracks as Twilewis continued to look around. “Y’know, it really is..!” he replied, Spike shaking his tiny purple head and raising a claw to point towards the creamy white pony with the purple mane who was sifting through a box of what appeared to be cloth. “Not those.. Her..!” he said, love struck into his heart.
The pony was muttering something under its breath that the two couldn’t hear from their distance. They began to approach the pony, noticing a strange pattern in the things it was saying. “No.. Nope.. Derp.. Nurr..” he continuously muttered to himself as he continued to throw things aside in his search.
They paused again a few steps behind the purple maned pony, Twilewis’ eye catching something shiny off in the corner behind the box. “Hm?” he puzzled, taking a few steps forward as Spike obsessed over his spines and spikes looking perfect. “What’s this? A golden statuette?” he asked himself aloud, picking up the golden pony wielding a sword in a field of magic and holding it up for the small group to see.
The pony instantly whipped his head around, eyes wide and smile large as he body-slammed Twilewis and snatched the statue from his grasp. He screamed out, “Stephano!” in utter joy as he held up the golden sculpture for the world to see.
It didn’t take a full second for Twilewis to realize that this was the pony that PewDiePie had been changed into. “Well thats fitting I suppose..” he put in, walking over and smiling. “Hey there Felix..! You here too, I see?” Twilewis queried.
Felix raised his head curiously, placing Stephano on his head as he looked towards the purple pony. “Wait, what? Who’s this? Are you with the barrels?!” he cried, standing up and glaring a storm of daggers at Twilewis. “What? No, no!” Twilewis exclaimed, backing up slightly. “It’s me, Lewis! Remember? You remember..” he insisted, Raripie’s rage slowly calming.
“Wait, Lewis? BRO, WHERE ARE WE, BRO?!” Raripie screamed, darting around madly and knocking a few things over. “Calm down, calm down!!” Twilewis asserted, ready to explain anything he knew at all about the situation.
“Ok, what’s up, is it story time, I like stories.” Raripie kidded, walking over to the purple pony and the green spiked dragon. “Sure, why not.” Twilewis replied, thinking back to the moment he arrived here. “You see, I don’t know why or how we got here, but we’re here and we’re ponies, so just go with it, I guess.”
“Seems like a perfect plan! It is flawless..!” he declared, standing proudly as he and the Stephano pony statuette both began to trot off and out the door. “I finished decorating the things in here, so I’m gonna go back to the place that I think is my home! I must tell Mr. Fluff-fluff and the marshmallow about this! Onward Stephano!”
Spike simply gawked in utter awe at the purple maned pony that was trotting away from him, and as he resisted the strong urge to float after her with hearts in his trail, Twilewis spoke up and rushed Spike from the building with a simple, “Let’s continue on then, shall we?”
About five minutes of walking later, Spike had broken from his trance and had picked up the checklist once more. “Lastly, we have the Music!” he concluded, Lewis giving off a small shuckle. “Well, that ought to be fun! I do enjoy good music..” he admitted, stopping dead in his tracks as he heard a somewhat out-of-place sound.
It was the sound of a chorus of birds. But, it wasn’t that that was odd. It was what the chorus was singing. Twilewis and Spike both darted over towards a nearby bush to observe the strange sound.
Amazingly enough, the choir of chirps was being directed by a single yellow pegasus with a long, flowing pink mane. After a bit though, one of the birds seemed to be going off tempo and messing up the song. The yellow pony began to rage horribly at this with a loud, “Ok, you may be the highest tweeter here, BUT YOU’RE MESSING UP AND WE DON’T NEED YOU SO JUST GO. Just GO!”
“Well, you’re a friendly one..!” Twilewis commented, looking up at the flying pegasus pony with a mild grin. “A bit harsh though, don’t ya think?” he asked. The yellow pegasus paused and turned around, a look of confusion upon his face. “And who are you to question my way of teaching birds to sing Zelda music?”
“Well, let’s try this.” Twilewis said to himself, a dead expression on his face as he continued to say, “I’m Lewis. You’re probably Arin, no?” Arin plopped down to the ground, a small smile on his face from both confusion and the fact that this lavender pony might be the Lewis he was with in the livestream earlier.
“Indeed I am. I see you’re here too?” he added, looking on calmly as he stood. “Yes, I am. As well as all the others.” Twilewis informed, an expression of shock upon his face. “You seem totally fine with everything, like you’ve always been here. Are you alright?” he asked with a chuckle.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m fine.” Egoshy continued, “I’m just.. ‘Accustomed’ to this sort of thing.” he finished, Twilewis simply gawking in a veil of misunderstanding. “So.. Then you’re a pony-lover, or a pegadude, or whatever they call them?” the lavender Lewis stuttered, his eye twitching slightly as he awaited the reply.
“Yes. I am a brony.” he confessed.
((WE DID THE RESEARCH. HE’S MOST LIKELY A CLOSET BRONY. DON’T WORRY, THE EPICNESS IS NOT FATAL.))
“Um.. That’s.. Yeah, ok..” Twilewis managed to spurt. Unsure of how to react to this, he simply changed the subject as quickly as he could. “So then, why are you training birds exactly?”
At this moment Spike walked onto the scene, holding the Summer Sun Celebration checklist. “For the music of course!” He checked off ‘music’ and then put the list and quill away. “All done!”
Twilewis looked back at the purple dragon baby and nodded approvingly. “Good, that means I can go home.” he confirmed before getting knocked to the side slightly by Egoshy.
“Dude, is that a drug dragon?” he asked in excitement. “Can they really grow drugs instantly? Dude! That’s amazing!” he continued in his flurry of words and assumptions. Ignoring the rest of his rantings, Twilewis walked over to Spike, picked him up under one hoof and began shakily walking away.
“Nice seeing you, buddy, but we gotta go now so bye!” he called back, breaking into a strange three-hooved trot back to the library. It didn’t take long for him to make his way back, but at the moment he could see it in the distance, he took off in a gallop. Slamming the door open, Twilewis magically tossed Spike aside. “Now where can I find a book about... this...” he asked himself, flipping the lights on.
“Surprise, purple pony person!” a pink pony cried out along with several other ponies from around the town. At this, Twilewis jumped slightly in surprise and knocked Spike to the ground in the process. “Oh, god, what is this?!” he shouted, unaware of what had been planned.
“Don’t you like it! AW COME ON! The audience joined us! How could you NOT like it?” Pinkbuscus jumped around and grabbed a few ‘members of the audience’. He suddenly realised that one of them was a mare... “Hey there sexy lady. Wanna do some stuff, huh. LET’S DO STUFF WHEEEEEEEEEW!” And with that, Pinkbuscus ran off, leaving behind a small cloud.
After letting out a yawn, Twilewis started his adventure for the bedroom. Everywhere he looked, PONIES! PONIES EVERYWHERE. But after searching for a while he found a staircase made out of various types of wood, leading up to a bedroom. Twilewis trotted over the bed and jumped on it, making it himself comfortable then, he tried falling asleep. Just as his eyelids were becoming heavier and heavier, the purple drug dragon came in.
“Come on Twilight! It’s time to go see the sunrise!” The baby dragon had a lamp cap on his head, covered in confetti from head to tail. Twilewis groaned in irritation with the recent events and hopped out of bed. The group of ponies as well as himself proceeded out of the house and towards the town hall from that point.
The large mass of ponies stood amongst themselves as the celebration was awaited to begin. Pinkbuscus darted over to Twilewis with a giant grin on his face after he noticed Twilewis standing there bored. “Hey there! Are you excited about this, because I know I am. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited than this.. Except for that one time I did the thing? Y’know, with the stuff? But, I mean, you couldn’t get much better than that.”
It was at the end of this statement that birds began to chirp. They were chirping the same recognizable tune as before, when Twilewis had first met Egoshy. But now, they chirped to the beat of a spotlight turning on and panning down to shine upon Mayor Mare, the towns mayor.
“Fillies and gentlecolts! As mayor of Ponyville, it is my great pleasure to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!” Mayor Mare declared and everypony cheered throughout the town hall. “In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year. And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you, the ruler of our land. the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon, each and every day. The good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria...”
“Be very quiet right now, alright?” Egoshy whispered to the birds he commanded, Mayor Mare continuing her statement. “Princess Celestia!” It was with this announcement that Raripie used Stephano to slice a rope, causing the curtains to be drawn and reveal the great and powerful... Nothing! Air! Dust! Huzzah!
A gasp of shock was let out by all in the room, the ominous empty space behind the curtains a mystery to all. “Ohhh dear..” Twilewis said aloud, staring up at the barren space while Mayor Mare attempted to calm the crowd. “There must be a reasonable explanation for this!” she declared.
Pinkbuscus smiled brightly at the announcement and shouted, “I’ll bet you she’s in a hole somewhere in the ground! While we look, why doncha go make pie for all of us, I’m sure that’d calm the citizens!” After a moment, Raripie walked out from the area that Princess Celestia was supposed to be in and called to the crowd, “She’s gone! I’ll bet it was the barrels! They took her!!”
“Oh, that was my first guess!” Pinkbuscus whined as the rest of the ponies gasped again and began chattering amongst themselves. “I was gonna say that, you know I-OH MY GOODNESS, PURPLE SWIRLY MIST OF DOOMDEATH.” Twilewis looked up at the strange mist appearing on the platform, his eyes turning wide as he and Pinkbuscus said in unison, “What in the HELL IS THAT?!”
After a second of the mist swirling about itself, a pitch black alicorn in near full armor burst from it, looking down wickedly at the crowd of ponies. Spike fainted immediately from the sight and fell to the ground with a light *thud*, leaving Twilewis to simply stare in confusion as the alicorn spoke.
“Ah, my beloved subjects..!” the mare cooed, smiling as she looked around the room. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious, sun-loving faces...”
“What did you do to the shinyhorse?! DID YOU RAPE IT?! I’LL SHOW YOU RAPE. YOU SON OF BITCH! GAAAAAAH!” Nova Dash screamed, beginning to make a dash towards the black mare, only to be held back by Applemon with a cautious, “Yeah, no..!”
The mare let out a menacing chuckle before questioning the angry cyan pony, “What?~ Am I not royal enough for you..?~” she said as the writers of this fic began to laugh madly over the squigglehs being used. “Don’t you know who I am?” she asked, bringing the authors attention back to the point of the story.
“You’re a fog maned, long horned, angry, blackened, pony eater?” Pinkbuscus shouted happily, completely sure of himself as a muffin was shoved into his mouth to keep him quiet. The crowd stared in fear and wonderment at the starry-maned alicorn, her rant continuing as she stared dead into the faces of the various ponies.
“Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for one thousand years?” she snorted, shoving her face in that of Egoshy’s, only to receive an absolute rage face in return. She payed no mind to this and moved on to say, as she shoved her face into Raripies, “Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” Once again, a face in response was given.
“Who the blimey is this?!” Twilewis shouted from his position on the floor, the black alicorn turning and shouting with a glare, “I... Am Nightmare Moon!” This declaration caused the entire group of ponies to once again gasp in horror and shock. “That’s right.. And I suggest you remember this day, little ponies, as the day that I arrived. And brought on.. The eternal night!” Nightmare Moon screamed happily, lightning crackling about as she let out an evil laugh of doomdeath.
“... Oh fuck.” Egoshy whimpered.
To Be Continued...
Authors Notes
Grey: Dear GODS, that took forever to write..!
Pim: Like, how much? 3 months?!
Grey: Maybe? I think it was more like three and a half though.. WHY MUST WE PROCRASTINATE SO BADLY.
Pim: … Because games, pones, YouTube and porn.
Grey: Ohhh yeah.. Anywhatsapenis, we’ll be MAYBE uploading this semi-recently at some point perhaps, so.. Stay tuned, I guess! ^^;
Pim: Trust me. Your cheeks. Are going. To rip.
NOW GO EAT A BANANA.
Friendchips Are Amazing: Part Two
~Previously on My Little Youtube~
"I don't have time for this, I need to get back..!" Lewis yelled, throwing book before book aside in his search.
~
Spike reasoned, "The Princess arranged for you to stay in a library! Doesn't that make you happy?"
~
"IDEA, SAYS MY BRAIN." it exclaimed before dashing off with a comical dust cloud behind it.
~
“Surprise, purple pony person!” a pink pony cried out along with several other ponies from around the town.
~
“I was gonna say that, you know I-OH MY GOODNESS, PURPLE SWIRLY MIST OF DOOMDEATH.” Twilewis looked up at the strange mist appearing on the platform, his eyes turning wide as he and Pinkbuscus said in unison, “What in the HELL IS THAT?!”
~
“What did you do to the shinyhorse?! DID YOU RAPE IT?! I’LL SHOW YOU RAPE. YOU SON OF BITCH! GAAAAAAH!” Nova Dash screamed.
~
“... Oh fuck.” Egoshy whimpered.
[Holy-what, theme song, holy-what, theme song, ahhhahhhahhhahhh~]
The black coated mare stood high atop the balcony, laughing as her mane swirled above her in a menacingly beautiful way. Her wicked laughter echoed throughout the spacious interior of the town hall, terrifying most of the people within it and bringing about an uproar of screams and frightened gasps.
Mayor Mare sprang up, determination in her eyes as several Royal Guards began to group around her. “Seize her!” she cried, “Only she knows where the Princess is!”
The three royal guards leaped from their positions, flying towards the devious eyed mare as she shouted, “Stand back you foals!” and blasted bolts of lightning from her horn, searing them each at most as they all flew off in the opposite direction in defeat.
After the guards had been driven back, Nightmare Moon proceeded to whisp her mane around herself and become a direct part of it, whisking herself off into the night sky to the horrified cries of ponies jumping out of the way as she slammed open the doors. The sparkling purple cloud flew off silently into the distance, though it was not flying alone.
Nova Dash had just broken free from Applemon’s grip and was giving a short chase out of the building to the sparkling cloud.
“COME BACK HERE YOU LITTLE WHORE, I’LL SHOW YOU HOW TO STAND DOWN FROM A FIGHT... Wait..” he stopped, flying in midair as he thought about what he had just said. When he looked up again, the cloud had already passed the mountains in the distance and was on its way to somewhere far else.
It was then that Twilewis walked from the building, looking about with a confused expression as he made way for an unknown location.
“Where the fuck is he going?” Nova Dash wondered aloud.
Spike twitched a bit on Twilewis’ back, waking up for a short moment to say, “We have to stop Nightmare...” before falling over and onto the floor of the library with a quiet thump. This did not wake him in the slightest.
“Yeah, sleep well ya dolt..” Twilewis ‘cooed’ as he looked around at the everything that was surrounding him as of this moment. He went downstairs a moment later, throwing books off of their shelves in an attempt to finally get some work done on how to figure out why he’s here. To this minute, he had done little to no work on finding reasons as to what had happened, and he was itching to start.
“Alright.. So.. Portals, portals, portals.. There has to be something!!” he shouted to himself, tearing through shelves before pausing and thinking to himself, ’Wait.. What about..’ “The Elements of Harmony!” Twilewis exclaimed, only jumping back in total shock of what appeared directly in front of his face a moment later.
An angry and suspicious Nova Dash reared his cyan head and with an unnerved expression, shouted, “WHAT THE HELL ARE THE ELEMENTS OF HARMONY ANYWAYS?! THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?! ARE YOU A FUCKING SPY, BECAUSE I SWEAR, IF YOU ARE I will fucking cut you.” Twilewis stood in total confusion for a short moment before Applemon tugged upon Nova Dash’s tail insistently and commanded him to ‘calm his twat’.
“He’s not a damned spy. But I do think he knows more than us about what’s going on here...” The entire group, Pewdie, Toby, and all, began approaching Twilewis slowly. “Don’t you, Lewis..?”
Twilewis took a deep breath and then sighed. “I know you all think I know something here, though I can’t fathom why..” he admitted, “But I really know nothing about this. All I know about this world is that it’s full of shiny horse things and some kind of Elements of Who-see-what-sit.” The group stared at him for a short moment before a sound came from the other side of the room.
“Elements of Harmony. Ooh, they sound so pretty!” Pinkbuscus called out, staring at a book on the shelf. “It’s under ‘E’, come over and see, so we can read all the things I see!” he declared, rhyming ‘see’ with ‘see’ like a total pro as the others gathered around to see what was happening.
As they all looked into the pages of the book, Twilewis read aloud a basic...summary of what was written. “Bla bla bla, elements.. Something about one not being known.. Oh, here they are. The elements are kindness, laughter, generosity, honesty, and loyalty. And apparently they’re in some forest inside a castle or something.” The group went silent.
“Stephano thinks that he should have the element of total awesomeness.” Raripie said with a small twitch, still clearly in a slight amount of shock from arriving in this world as Twilewis looked back at him with a blank face. A few others did the same before turning back to the book and shrugging a bit at the knowledge of having no idea what to do.
Little did the group know though, that they were being spied upon, and that an evil force now knew of where the elements were hidden. The force whisked itself off to find these elements as the group stayed indoors, talking amongst themselves.
“What if the elements give us some kind of magical powers or something?” Egoshy suggested. “What if having one in your hand made you just go all Megaman and shoot fuckin’ lemons from your hand or something!” he insisted. Raripie and Pinkbuscus agreed with his mad idea, but the other three in the group had another idea.
“I vote we find ‘em and sell ‘em.” Novadash shouted above all the other’s talking. “Might as well have some money in our pockets if we’re gonna be in this world!” His logic was true, and all the others agreed that a bit of cash would be good. Though some already were in possession of money when they arrived in this world, a bit more couldn’t hurt.
Everyone but Raripie looked towards the door, where Raripie was currently standing. “We have no time to waste! Quickly! Out the door into the world of magical magic! We shall find these elements and use them to defeat the barre- I mean, sell them!” he commanded, grinning happily with Stephano on his head.
Everyone obeyed the command and made their way out of the house and into the street, all of them now headed for the nearest forest.
Once they arrived, they all charged directly in without a care in the world. Each of them had a battle cry that they were continuously shouting. “FOR LADY GAGA!!” Raripie would scream every now and again, sometimes being drowned out by a, “RAPE THE EVERYTHING.” from Nova Dash.
Meanwhile though, time was not on the side of the group. After a full twenty three seconds of endless running and shouting, nearly all of them were ready to collapse upon the ground. And so they did.
Ten minutes later, they were up and at it again. Doing the exact same thing. Again. And again. And again. And when it was nearly four hours later, they had arrived at a strange place where two cliffs met and created a stone gateway of sorts. They were walking peacefully towards it when suddenly, a large beast dropped from above into their path.
“FFFFFFFFFUCKSHIT-” Raripie nearly screamed, turning away and running in the other direction and in between trees with the thought of something awful. “FUCKING SLENDERMAN, TRYING TO RAPE ME ALL THE TIME. WHAT DID I DO TO YOU BRO, WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?!” he screamed continuously, running in complete circles within the trees.
The entire group began to stare at Egoshy as he began to laugh madly at the creature before him.
“Look at that thing! Just, HA! L-l-look at the color scheme, Lo- LOOK AT THAT HORN! ITS ALL BLACK! DID YOU PUT IT UP SOMEONES ASS OR SOMETHING?! AND THOSE ‘PAWS’! THEY DON’T EVEN HAVE ANY NAILS! WHAT IS THIS THING?! A CAT-WITH-A-SCORPION-TAIL OR SOME SHIT?”
The manticore proceeded to stare at Egoshy with hate filled eyes and let out its mightiest roar in an attempt to silence the yellow character. This attempt worked tremendously well, to the shock of the group, for an entire half a second!
“PFFT- THAT’S A ROAR?! COME ON, YOU’RE SITTING OVER THERE ACTING LIKE YOU WANT SOMEONE TO GO AND REFILL YOUR DAMNED KIBBLE OR SOME SHIT. COME ON, JUST- JUST COME ON! YOU’RE STANDING OVER THERE WITH YOUR, YOUR, FACE ACTING LIKE ALL, ‘OH, I’M SO TOUGH HURRR.”
After three more minutes of annoying ranting from Egoshy, the manticore simply gave up and facepawed. This caused a small thorn to jab him in his eye. The manticore glared at the thorn and tugged it out angrily before walking away back to its home without another sound. And with that, the group moved along.
WE WERE TOO LAZY TO WRITE THIS ENTIRE SCENE AND WANTED TO MOVE ON, BUT HERE’S WHAT TOBY WOULD’VE SANG.
You silly nuggets, don’t you see?
When I was back on Earth, my friends,
And I was playing gaaames~
Like Dead Space, Minecraft, and Limbo,
while I gave monsters naaames~
I’d shoot a gun or arrow,
To prevent myself from DEATH,
But brother pig would always live,
A lot unlike the reeest~
And he said, Toby; ya gotta run around,
Swing a diamond sword!
Shoot things with laser beams,
Then find a pig and climb aboard!
AU-DI-ENCE.
Sooo,
Ride upon a piggy,
Kill the Dead Space thingy,
Dodge a giant spider,
Start slashing even wider,
Ride upon a segway,
I’m Batman, do things my way,
And when you see the bunnies start to kill themselves and you can’t stop them and they just keep jumping off the cliff it just makes you wanna cry out... *deep ass breath*
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
THERE YA GO, LET’S MOVE ON NOW.
“Well, shit.” Twilewis remarked, a large river harshly churning in front of him and the rest of the group as they emerged from a section of the forest.
Raripie stared at the gushing water for a moment before exclaiming with a grin, “Well, we’re stuck, may as well go back and pretend none of this ever hap--” but his sentence, as well as his exit were cut short by a gentle punch to the shoulder from Nova Dash.
“No,” he asserted, “we’re staying and we’re gonna finish this.” Nova Dash had a determined look on his face as he walked over to the river, staring directly into it. “Stop churning you piece of shit, I will end your everything if you do not calm your watery ass tits down right the fuck no-”
“I don’t think that yelling at it is going to do anything..” Egoshy interrupted. “You gotta get a bunch of people doing it at once for that to work!” With that, he walked over to the river and stood beside Nova Dash, the two of them yelling at the top of their lungs at the rushing waters.
While the pair yelled at the watery deeps, Raripie heard an odd sound coming from another section of the river. He popped his head through some bushes, assuming that they lead to the area that held the sound and saw something utterly strange. “Hey guys?” he yelled back, “Come see this giant purple snake thing, I think it’s fapping..!”
“Fapping, what?” a few of the group members exclaimed, rushing over to see the strange sight, only to find out that it was not at all what they thought it was.
“You lying little nugget! He’s just splahin’ around... because reasons! REASONS I TELL YOU!” Pinkbuscus accused, pointing a single hoof out at the creature before it noticed the groups presence.
“Ooh, what a world! What a world!” it shouted, “I’ve done nothing to deserve this, you see! I was just sitting here, minding my own business when this tacky little purple cloud whipped past me and tore half of my beloved moustache right off!”
AND WITH ONE BIG SPLASH A BIG TSUNAMI WASHED OVER EQUESTRIA AND THEY ALL DIED.
The End
Pim: WE’RE DONE. WE QUIT THIS IDEA. FOR SOMETHING BETTER.
Grey: I’m sorry to quit so early into the game, but honestly? This entire thing is a serious pain to try and write. It takes way too much time, there’s so much to account for in the writing itself..
Pim: Just saying; one chapter takes three months to fucking write. That’s why we’re REMAKING the story into one with an original storyline instead of pain-in-the-ass-parodies. Sorry... But hey, it’s SORTA coming back!
Grey: I mean, in all fairness, this is a great deal of fun to write. But then again, so will be all the other batshit stories we come up with. So.. Yeah. IN OTHER NEWS: TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR TOTAL. DRAMA. EQUESTRIA!~
