Even Gods Are Cowards

by Inferno demon Dash

Rating: teen
Tags: Alternate Universe, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cheese Sandwich, Romance, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, Profanity, Discord, Slice of Life
Length: 2269

Discord asks Pinkie Pie on a date, being fully aware that he messed up her future in an alternate timeline.

Discord deeply cares for Pinkie Pie, he wants to be the love of her life and only have eyes for him. But the god of chaos can only hold the secret of what he had done to her future in another timeline with Cheese Sandwich for so long and fears it will come to light as he attempts to win her heart.

Published 2019-10-10 16:40:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-10 16:40:02 UTC

Please Say Yes

Fluttershy blew a stray strand of hair out of her face as she looked up at the draconequus with a glare, her moderate cyan colored eyes narrowing while blowing air out of her snout in frustration.

“Discord, I been as patient as I could be with you on this matter, but now is the time to tell Pinkie Pie about your feelings.” She spoke in an angry whisper as she unfurled her wings, flapped them once and rose to his height, pressing a hoof into his snout before pulling it back.

“Fine, fine...you’re right, Fluttershy. You really have been there to listen to me go on and on about the mare for quite some time. But perhaps it’s just not the right-”

“No buts, mister. Now you march right into that bakery and ask out that earth pony like a proper...um, chimera?” She cut off and questioned hesitantly as the god could only smirk with a roll of his eyes.

“Yes, I am indeed that. Thank you for reminding me old friend.” He snickered as she merely gave him a bemused look.

“I’m going, I’m going...it’s just-”

“Discord! What’s the point of being a god if you can’t even ask a mortal how you feel?” She interrupted as he sighed with a lion's paw rubbing his face which smeared off making him add a cane and a top hat in his talon and paw respectfully as his face appeared on the top hat.

“Ta-da!” The face spoke proudly making the pegasus rolled her eyes before she flapped back to solid ground and pointed with a hoof towards the establishment, her eyes narrowing again.

“Oh, very well.” Discord groaned snapping his talon to make his face appear back in its proper place and removing the cane and top hat from sight.

“And if she says no?” He questioned glancing down at her as she sighed loudly.

“Then we’ll just have to accept the fact that she does not want to be anything more than friends and move on with our lives.” Fluttershy answered calmly causing the lord of chaos whole body to deflate like a balloon, his paw and talon covering his whole face in remorse.

“Better prepare the ice cream for that then.” He uttered sadly not seeing Fluttershy place a hoof on his head as she patted it twice.

“I’ll eat as much as I’m able with you if it comes to that. I promise.” She spoke softly before removing the hoof and placing it back on the ground while Discord stood up slowly with a deep breath.

“Ok…here goes nothing.” He spoke nervously as he opened the front door to the shop and floated in, Fluttershy following after him with a large smile noticing the store was nearly empty save for Spike, Scootaloo and Gabby talking and laughing with food and milkshakes on their table far away as Carrot Cake was doing inventory in front of the register with his son, Pound Cake while Pumpkin Cake was counting the bits made for the day, the unicorn looking very bored as she stacked them on top of each other, Fluttershy questioned to herself why the teenager was counting the money in the middle of the day but decided it was none of her business as she walked towards the front, intent on getting a snack.

As Fluttershy trotted to the unicorn who was snapped out of her boredom by the hooves approaching her, Discord slowly floated to the only other living soul in the shop, the mare of his affections who was currently wiping off a table with a bucket of soapy water on the ground near her and a gray rag in her left front hoof, happily humming to herself the song that Rainbow Dash sung with the pirates years ago to help them get back into fighting shape or at least that’s what he’s been told, though he could not remember the name of the tune at the moment.

Time had certainly done a number on the mortal, her pink mane rather large along with her tail which were wrapped in a hair tie to not affect her work, though she showed no signs of her age with her attitude causing the immortal to give a small smile at how full of joy the earth pony before him still was making him take a deep breath and exhaled slowly before tapping the pink colored pony on her right shoulder and disappearing in a flash as she turned around to see who was trying to catch her attention making her frown when she saw no one there, turning her head to see her old friend floating before her with a grin.

“I wonder what that was about?” He said as she rolled her eyes with a smile and poking his nose with her other hoof as she leaned her front legs onto the table.

“I guess I’ll never know, will I, Dissy?” She chuckled as he merely blew a raspberry causing her to do the same and before long they were making different funny faces at each other as they laughed long and hard before Pinkie gave a loud, content sigh and placed her rag into the bucket, picking up the handle with her teeth to do the next table as she turned around with a shake of her head being stopped by Discord again as he merely bowed above her.

“Allow me.” He said before snapping his fingers and quickly cleaning all the tables at once with different colored rags that floated from the kitchen to her bucket before they disappeared with a flash, Spike and his friends shouting in surprise when their food and milkshakes were magically picked up, their table cleaned and the items placed back where they originally were.

“Awww, thanks, Discord. But you didn’t have to do that for me.” Pinkie spoke giving him a large smile as he returned the gesture before making the bucket in her teeth disappear as she worked her jaw back into shape.

“Just thought I help.” He replied with a wink as she giggled before bouncing back towards the kitchen, no doubt on her way to get started on her next chore.

“Actually, Pinkie-” His voice made her stop in midair as she turned her body around and landed on her hooves, looking up at him in confusion as he questioned to himself if she had a bit of his magic inside of her before he saved that thought for another day and continued speaking.

“I was hoping we could talk in private.” He asked turning his head to notice that Spike, Gabby and Scootaloo were picking up their trash to throw away, waving goodbye to the ponies and Discord before they left while Carrot, Pound and Pumpkin Cake were nowhere to be seen as Fluttershy was eating two peanut butter covered chocolate brownies and a large strawberry shake near the corner of the bakery alone, waving at the two of them before returning back to her meal.

Pinkie and Discord naturally returned the greeting back with waves of their own as Pinkie started to walk towards the empty milkshakes glasses that were still on the table.

“Well other than Fluttershy, we’re alone now, so what’s up?” She asked as she picked up one of the glasses with her teeth, moving her body closer to place the remaining two on her back and trotting to the kitchen to place them in the sink as Discord sat on a chair and waited, his nerves literally being shot by miniature crossbows firing at his brain before he snapped his talon once more, taking another deep breath and tapping his fingers as he glanced at Fluttershy who merely winked at him.

Pinkie returned with a slice of blueberry cake and a large vanilla milkshake on her back, placing the two items with practiced ease on the table in front of them as she sat down, asking Discord if he wanted anything as he merely shook his head, thanking her for her politeness as she picked up a fork with a hoof and dug in to her cake with a smile.

“Um...how do I say this?” He muttered out loud looking at the mare not even being aware that his guilty conscious had a large banner above him that read the words “I’m sorry for ruining the future life you had with Cheese Sandwich and your son!” above him as he gasped out loud in shock before quickly grabbing the banner with his tail and stuffing it in his mouth with a large and very visible swallow, an act which went unnoticed by both mares who were too absorbed in their milkshakes at the same time, luckily for the god as he breathed a loud sigh of relief and wiped his sweat with his tail.

“Say what?” Pinkie asked as she placed the glass that was held in her hooves onto the table, licking the excess off with her tongue as Fluttershy opened her eyes and removed her mouth from the straw with a smack of her lips.

“Er...well, I was wondering what you thought about maybe, possibly, perhaps going on a date...with me?” He answered quietly with a very fake smile on his face making Pinkie look at him in puzzlement.

“Oh, I mean “technically” we are on a date...right?” She asked with air quotes, mirroring her sister’s boyfriend with a roll of her eyes as he chuckled.

“Yes that’s true but I mean a real one, one where you are off the clock and not in the bakery.” He responded, crossing his arms with a smirk as she tapped her forehooves together in thought.

“Fair enough...to be honest, Discord. I didn’t think you thought of me that way. I would have thought you would have tried to wow Fluttershy with romance by now.” She said softly as he looked at her as though she had just said she could breathe fire, which if he had to be honest he would bet money that she would try to find a way to do just that.

“W-what in Equestria would give you that idea?” He questioned baffled as she gave him a deadpan stare.

“She’s the one who redeemed you, your best friend, from what a Changeling told me she’s the one you thought about when you went to save all of us, you hang out with her more then me and you were worried more about her than any of us when Cozy Glow and the others attacked...plus you tried to make her jealous with the Smooze at the Grand Galloping Gala all those years ago, am I missing anything?” Pinkie listed off with narrowed eyes as the lord of chaos sheepishly smiled at her.

“I...it’s true. I won’t lie to you that I hold Fluttershy in high regard but I can honestly say with full confidence that she’s nothing more than a friend. I promise Pinkamena Diane Pie, cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” He swore as he did the motions and placed a cupcake in his right eye as she giggled before becoming serious.

“Remember Discord, no one breaks a Pinkie Promise, not even a god.” She warned as he took the cupcake on his eye and threw it into his mouth before chewing and swallowing.

“I never would, my dear sweet cotton candy.” He answered with a wink as she blushed with a smile and looked away.

“Save your sweet talk for our date, Dissy.” She giggled again as an enormous smile came onto his face.

“You mean?” He asked as she merely nodded as he literally turned into a rocket and blasted off into the ceiling in cheer, exploding into things that neither mare could understand before he teleported back into his seat as he picked her up from her chair into his arms and gave a hug that was beginning to hurt her before placing her back into the seat.

“You will not regret this Pinkie Pie, oh the things we are going to do tonight. I have so much to do and plan for us. I’ll come pick you up after your shift is over. We are going to have so much fun.” He laughed, talking so fast that if Pinkie was not a fast talker herself she would not understand him as he vanished before her eyes, reappeared next to Fluttershy who jumped in her seat and was given such a large hug that Pinkie could swear she heard something crack before the god vanished again in his excitement as Fluttershy was dropped back into her chair who moaned in pain rubbing her back with a hoof.

Pinkie Pie merely rolled her eyes with a smile, very excited to see what the God of Chaos himself was going to create that could romantically impress the Element of Laughter.

But first she had to make sure her friend was not hurt as she got up from her seat and trotted over to tend to the pegasus, the smile on her face never leaving.

Author's Note

I'm BACK motherbuckers! And I'm very excited to get started on new stories, naturally this is a DisPie but we'll see how this goes. Not edited I'm afraid as I'm no editor. Originally this was going to be one long chapter but it's been such a long time since I've done MLP that I figure I start off small first and break the story up. I hope you all like it, it's great to be back.