“I’m sorry, but I believe that I may have misheard you. Could you say that again, please?” Princess Celestia asked, looking up from the copy of the Ponyville Press she had been idly perusing.
“A thousand apologies, Your Highness,” Aloe Vera beseeched, bowing low enough for her snout to brush against the immaculate tile floor. “There is a problem with your reservation.”
“The books have been checked many times,” Lotus Blossom continued, echoing Aloe’s supplicating posture, “but we cannot find your name anywhere on our list for today.”
Celestia neatly folded the newspaper and returned it to a mixed pile of broadsheets and tabloids resting on a low table in the waiting room. She rose and gestured for the two mares to do the same. “There’s no need for the formalities. We’re all friends here.” Celestia levitated the list of expected patrons for the current day out of their grasp.
“This has been a standing reservation,” she declared calmly, her curious expression shifting to one of confusion as she examined the list. Her name was nowhere to be seen. “You know that I come here at the end of every season.”
“Your Royal Appointer,” Aloe began, “Mr. Scratch Sheet, has always sent in your request a month in advance. But no request has arrived since your last visit.”
Celestia waved a hoof dismissively. “That’s not possible. Scratch Sheet has never failed in his duties.”
“We are honored that you choose to come here for your relaxation needs every season,” Lotus said. She lowered her eyes. “But there are rules regarding reservations that everypony must abide by, and we are fully booked. Er, Your Majesty.”
“Of course, you are correct.” Celestia sighed. “A ruler is never above the rules herself.” She offered the two spa ponies a hopeful smile. “But, surely, there must be an open time slot somewhere in your schedule.” She fluttered her wings. “I was so looking forward to a long, rejuvenating soak and feather conditioning.”
Lotus and Aloe retrieved their appointment book from the Princess and flipped through the pages. Their eyes widened as they turned one page after another, their search becoming increasingly rapid as the pages remaining dwindled. When there were no more entries left to inspect, Aloe shook her head and spoke.
“Our most sincere apologies, but as I said, we are completely booked solid for the next few weeks.” She turned to the final page in the appointment ledger. “Could we pencil you in for a time at the end of the month?” she offered optimistically.
Celestia deflated. “Unfortunately, no. My sister and I will be traveling to Saddle Arabia to attend an annual festival celebrating the end of their harvest season. A little pampering was just the thing I needed after all the work coordinating the trip.”
The news were met by several tense seconds of silence, neither side sure of what to say next. Celestia looked on with hopeful eyes and a half-hearted smile, waiting for a suggestion that would solve the issue.
None was immediately forthcoming from the spa ponies, but the awkward stillness was broken when a pegasus stallion, with feathers askew, rushed into the foyer. He had an embossed sheaf of paper clutched in a wing.
“Aloe, Lotus. I have found the reservation,” he hurriedly announced. “Somepony tucked it into last month’s ledger, but never made a record in this month’s list of clients.”
“You have?” Celestia gasped. Her hooves tapped against the foyer tiles as she pranced. “Oh, thank heavens.”
“This is wonderful news,” Lotus declared. “Thank you, Tender Breeze.” The pegasus bowed once to the Princess and returned to his duties elsewhere in the spa as Lotus consulted the book of current reservations.
“There! Now, let us see what wonders we will be working today.” She offered it to Aloe to read with her. Their eyes traced through the details of the request until they reached the bottom of the sheet. Together, their coats paled.
“Oh,” Aloe gasped.
“Oh, dear,” Lotus added.
Celestia took a hesitant step forward. “What is the matter? Did Scratch Sheet schedule me for a hooficure instead of a feather conditioning?” She extended one wing and gave the pinions an appraising look. “Normally, I wouldn’t mind, but the sands of Saddle Arabia can be harsh on one’s wings. I was hoping to prepare them ahead of the journey, so they are still presentable for the festival.”
“It is not that, Your Highness,” Aloe answered. “A feather grooming and conditioning treatment, as well as a deep soak rejuvenation bath, have indeed been booked.”
“But not for this establishment,” Lotus appended.
“What, exactly, do you mean?” Celestia inquired with a furtive glance at the reservation sheet.
“This reservation was made for our newly opened parlor,” Aloe explained. She turned the reservation sheet around so Celestia could see a stamp near the top: a smiling, chocolate brown mare with a buttercream mane. Except instead of the well-known flowery horseshoe seen on the spa’s outdoor sign, in the upper right corner was a crossed pair of scissors with a nail file.
“You’ve expanded?” Celestia excitedly asked. “Very impressive.” She lowered her voice and, with a sly grin, wondered aloud, “Something a bit more exclusive, perhaps?”
Aloe and Lotus glanced at one another and slowly nodded. “Um, yes, that is true,” Aloe replied. “We cater to a different clientele at our new establishment. But--”
“This is wonderful.” Celestia clapped her hooves. “I’m so glad you are doing well enough to branch out into more spas.”
Aloe and Lotus traded nervous glances. “Thank you. It is just that the spa you are booked at doesn’t really service ponies,” Lotus announced.
The Princess’ clapping stopped. “Doesn’t service ponies? Whatever do you mean?”
It was Aloe’s turn to speak. “Business has been wonderful, but one of the biggest concerns from many of our clients have been for the wellbeing of their pets.” Some of her nervousness seemed to melt away and was replaced with genuine zeal. “Ponies are not the only ones who suffer when a monster attacks, or when some villain pops up. Many times, a pony will turn to their beloved pet for comfort in times of distress. But who comforts the pet in return? There were no places for them to unwind, so we took it upon ourselves to provide one.”
Celestia blinked. “You mean to say that my reservation is at...”
“Our new pet spa,” Aloe gently confessed.
Celestia’s blinked again. “Well.” She opened her mouth, but shut it without making a sound. For the second time that morning, the ticking of a clock was the loudest noise in the foyer. “That is… an unfortunate twist,” the Princess finally said in an even tone. “And you’re absolutely sure of this?” Both spa ponies nodded their heads.
“We could contact one of our clients who are booked for this afternoon and convince them to reschedule,” Lotus offered. “I’m sure they would be happy to make arrangements for a Princess.”
Celestia shook her head. “No, that won’t be necessary. I refuse to let my position inconvenience somepony who is looking forward to their day at the spa as much as I was.” She rubbed her temples for a moment before continuing.
“It’s a bit unorthodox, but I owe it to our allies in Saddle Arabia to be at my very best.” She shifted her weight from one side to the other. “I guess I’ll give it a try.” Fluttering her wings, Celestia offered Aloe and Lotus a slightly apprehensive smile. “I haven’t much of a choice at this point. And, after all, we must strive to keep open minds. Right?” Aloe and Lotus agreed with the Princess, but traded glances between each other that betrayed a mild deficit of belief.
Still, they said nothing further on the subject as Lotus walked to the front entrance. She held open the door. “It is across the street and two blocks down the road. If you would like us to escort you, Princess, we would be most happy to do so.”
Celestia waved the offer aside. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. I apologize for the mixup.” The spa ponies thanked the Princess profusely for her kindness, and Celestia bade them all farewell as she departed.
The streets outside of the spa were mostly empty, the majority of Ponyville’s population already at school or their places of employ. A few pegasi sailed high overhead, and a pair of unicorns passed between two buildings further down the avenue. Celestia kept close to the building to avoid drawing attention, taking comfort in the tingling sensation that told her the veil of invisibility her personal retinue of Royal Guards wore nearby was working perfectly. She quickly shrouded herself with a spell of visual misdirection to ensure that the attention of anypony she might encounter would simply slip away from their mental grasp. All the better to enjoy a quiet retreat instead of getting bogged down by those wishing to prostrate themselves before their Princess.
The new building was easy enough to find. It shared the same external architectural flair as the day spa. The accouterments, however, used deep, earthy hues, as opposed to the original’s pastel palette. A sign of the same design that Lotus had revealed on the reservation sheet hung above the entrance. It was flanked by the name of the establishment, painted in silver.
“Hmm. La Patte Dorée,” Celestia thought aloud. “My Prench is very rusty, but this certainly looks like the right place.” She opened the door and stepped inside, a tiny bell attached to the frame chiming to announce her arrival. The foyer, much like the exterior, was an almost exact copy of Aloe and Lotus’ leading spa. No one else was in the waiting area, so she walked over to examine the reading material piled onto a low table. She had only glanced at the first magazine’s cover when a door behind the lobby counter swung open, and in strode a fuschia unicorn stallion with a perfectly groomed goatee.
The stallion glanced around the room, and looked right past Celestia without a pause. “Hello?” he called out.
Celestia looked around, confirming that she and the unicorn were the only two in the foyer. “Um, hello?” she replied.
The stallion twitched and his ears swiveled toward Celestia, but his eyes still moved right past her as they swept the room. “What was that? Who is there?” the stallion demanded, his voice taking on an edge of distress.
The Princess canted her head, perplexed, when a flash of insight halted her. “The spell.” She cancelled her shroud of misdirection, and the stallion squeaked in surprise as he abruptly noticed the alicorn standing in his foyer.
“Oh mon Dieu!” His face flushed with sudden recognition. “Princess Celestia!” He hurried around the counter and bowed. “Many apologies. Welcome to our humble salon. I am Prim Ledger. To what do we owe this honor?”
“I have an appointment. There was a mixup earlier at my usual spa, but I have decided that I would try out yours today. I’m running a little behind schedule, so I would very much appreciate getting started soon.”
Prim Ledger rose from his bow and nodded. “But of course, Your Majesty. I will check our appointment book.” He pulled a book out from a cupboard behind the counter and flipped through the entries until he reached one about halfway through. “Ah, here is the request. From a Mr. Scratch Sheet. A feather conditioning and our signature rejuvenation bath. Excellent choice!” Prim looked up from reading and glanced around the lobby. “And where is the magnificent Philomena?”
“Philomena?” Celestia opened her mouth, but closed it as a thoughtful expression crossed her face. She stifled a sudden giggle and gave Prim a lopsided grin. “She’s back home in Canterlot. Why do you ask?”
Prim Ledger produced a quill and made a quick annotation in the appointment book. “I apologize, Princess. I seem to have made a terrible assumption regarding the reservation.” His quill floated above the paper, poised to make an amended entry. “Might then, I ask, who will be receiving our treatments today?”
“That would be me,” the Princess replied with a beaming smile, the corners of her mouth twitching ever so slightly.
The quill clattered to the pages below as Prim’s magic faltered. “I, ur...um. I--I believe I must have misheard. Did Your Majesty say that she would be the, uh, bénéficiaire for today?”
“Yes. That is correct.” Celestia pursed her lips. “Does this surprise you? You said my reservation is in the book.”
Prim flipped through the appointment book again, scrutinizing a few sections. He then bowed again to the Princess and backed away toward the door from which he had entered. “Un instant s’il vous plaît.” The stallion disappeared back into the spa’s interior.
Celestia quietly chuckled to herself. “No doubt they weren’t expecting that sort of request.” Her mirth sobered as a thought came to light. “I hope I haven’t caused too much of a stir. I really don’t have time to look for another location.”
She waited for Prim to return, pacing back and forth across the immaculate tiles. Her wings jittered at her sides each time she glanced at the door, but it remained shut. When he did not reappear after several minutes, Celestia passed the time by examining the various pieces of artwork on the walls. The themes were dominated by near-photorealistic scenes of parks, woods, hills, and sunny meadows. Scattered amongst the dominant artwork were smaller, framed watercolors of piles of yarn balls, rubber balls, and leafy branches.
“How interesting,” Celestia mused. Just then, the door behind the counter opened again, and Prim Ledger reappeared.
“Nos plus sincères excuses,” he gushed. “We are so very sorry for the inconvenience and delay, Princess. Our grooming experts were not entirely prepared to accept so illustrious a...client, such as Your Majesty into our parlor. It is very, how shall I say...unorthodox. But! We never turn away a client if they have a reservation.” He moved to another door that flanked the counter and rested a hoof upon its birch veneer. “Please, follow me and I shall escort you to the treatment room.”
“Lead the way.” Celestia followed Prim down a white-tiled hallway and past a half-dozen closed rooms to the very end of the hall. He opened a door labeled Suite Exécutive and, with a flourish, welcomed Celestia inside.
The room was large, and far more spacious than any of the private treatment rooms to which Celestia was accustomed. In the center was a pair of shallow, round pools of perfectly clear water and a large marble basin with a rainfall shower head. Smooth baseboards stood high enough to reach Celestia’s chest, and a printed diamond motif mingled with the soothing blue wallpaper that stretched from floor to ceiling.
Against the furthest wall sat four long, padded tables made of pale yellow pinewood and bamboo fabric. At the foot of each of them was a series of terraced shelves that appeared to assist in stepping up onto the tables.
Prim motioned for Celestia to take her pick of the four tables. “Here you are, Your Majesty. Please make yourself comfortable. Our best specialist will be in to see you shortly.”
“Thank you,” Celestia replied graciously. She slowly walked around the room, examining it after Prim left and shut the door behind him. Celestia strode over and dipped a hoof in one of the two small pools. The water was pleasantly warm and smelled wonderfully fresh. “These are far better accommodations than I would have expected.”
A small hatch, no taller than a pony’s leg, on the opposite side of the room slid open and out of it bounded a lively dog, an austere cat, and a stately owl. They entered together and paused to briefly get their bearings. Then, in a burst of speed, they split into three directions. The owl winged its way up to perch near the showerhead while the cat deftly leaped up onto the first cushioned table. With a yip of recognition, the dog made its way straight towards Celestia.
The Princess’ eyes lit up when the small dog skidded to a halt at her hooves, yapped in greeting, and promptly rolled over to present its belly for scratching. A modest hoot from above drew Celestia’s attention and the owl waved a greeting of its own. The cat, however, stretched languidly and focused on a patch of fur that apparently required its utmost cleaning attention.
“Hello there, little friends. I think we’ve met before. Let me see. Winona. Owlowiscious. Opalescence.” She bent down and gave Winona the belly rub she requested, the dog’s hindleg kicking in response. “I take it you are all here for, well, almost the same reasons I am. Are your owners here too?” Owlowiscious shook his head.
“Too bad. I would have liked to have given them a bit of a surprise.” She spoke to Winona in a hushed tone,“Between you and I, my days could always use a little extra mischief in them. But no matter. I do love a bit of pet playtime.” Celestia finished giving Winona her scratching and the dog rolled back to her paws, bounding off to investigate the various smells of the room. Opal cast a cool glare of disdain at the canine’s antics and awarded the Princess’ attempts to attract her attention with the barest of notice. “Oh, Opal,” Celestia chuckled, “just as I remember you. Maybe there’s a bit of string or something you can play with?”
She started scanning the room for anything that might pique Opal’s interest. When nothing turned up, Celestia turned her attention to the table drawers. They were all shut. She reached for the handle, but paused, looking over her shoulder as though somepony were watching her. After a moment’s thought, she withdrew her hoof.
“Maybe just a nice scratch behind the ears?” she offered. Someone rapped on the door. It opened and a pale green unicorn stallion with a short, cornflower blue mane entered, a clipboard clutched in his telekinesis.
“Welcome,Princess,” he said with a heavy Prench accent. “My name is Trim Cut. How are you today?”
“A pleasure to meet you, Trim Cut. I must say it has been an interesting morning. I have been very much looking to this all season.”
Trim smiled, showing far more teeth than some might consider necessary. “Yes. I am...pleased to hear that, Your Majesty.”
“Oh, no need to stand on protocol for the whole afternoon. I’m here to relax, after all.” Celestia stretched out her limbs. Her shoulders made several soft popping sounds. “Oh. All that tension. It always seems to settle in those muscles.”
“As you wish.” Trim moved to a cupboard and began removing several towels and bottles. “The, ah, other specialists will be joining us shortly.”
Celestia’s ears perked up. “There are more of you coming?”
“It is customary for many of our clients to be seen together at the same time.” Trim arranged his retrieved supplies near the table furthest from Opalescence. “Unless there is a quarrel among them, we have found this to be helpful. We do offer a private service, but, as you are aware, your arrival was very much a surprise délicieuse to us.”
“I understand,” Celestia stated, approaching the table. She looked around at the pets fondly. “And I wholeheartedly approve of bringing in these little ones. They are delightful company.”
Trim grinned. “I am so glad you approve.” He cleared his throat and consulted his clipboard. “I see here that you are, um, scheduled for a feather conditioning and a rejuvenation bath. Excellent choices.” He patted the cushioned table. “If you would please lay down here, I will prepare a blend of aromatics. We also provide a unique relaxation melody for atmosphere.”
Celestia obliged. It was already a short ascent, one made even more convenient by the broad steps. She settled down and fairly melted into the plush cushions as Trim mixed drops of scented oils from various vials, humming while he worked. As he was mixing, he sent a subtle mote of magic spiraling upward to induce a glow around a series of small, screened boxes set into the walls.
From the boxes, a melange of soothing sounds floated through the air and wound their way down to Celestia’s ears. The soft babbling of a river stream mixed in with the mild whispers of wind through the trees. A soft instrument picked up and piped out a slow tune that gingerly danced between fluted notes, mimicking the chirping of birds.
Celestia sighed and sank further into the cushions. “That is lovely. The sounds of nature have always helped to whisk away my stress.” She inhaled deeply as Trim finished his concoction of oils and waved the dish gently through the air around her. “I’ve never had a treatment with such an earthy scent. Is that cut grass?”
“You are most perceptive. It is a blend of ylang-ylang and patchouli oils, with a hint of bergamot for warmth. It promotes oneness, and covers up any unpleasant odors.” The entry door creaked open. “And here are our other specialists.”
Celestia turned her neck to see two earth ponies and another unicorn enter. She graced them with a relaxed smile. “Good afternoon, my little ponies.” A different smell drifted over to kiss her nose as one of the earth ponies reached back and retrieved a basket covered with a red checkerboard cloth. “What is that? It smells delicious.”
The pony carrying the basket walked over. “These, Your Majesty, are des friandise prepared in-house for our guests.”
“May I?” she asked.
The earth pony looked nervously at his fellow colleagues, his attention lingering on Trim Cut. Trim gave him a slight nod. “Oh. Um, certainly.” The pony lifted a single airy biscuit from beneath the cloth. “Avec mes compliments, Princess.”
Celestia delicately plucked the treat with her telekinesis and took a small bite. “Mmm. Scrumptious, indeed.” With beaming approval, the earth pony set his basket aside and joined the other specialists in making preparations. They each secured a cane-shaped pole to the sides of their tables and clipped a short length of silken cord to the end. Each cord then had attached to it a woven ring of stiff fabric. Celestia watched the arranging with quiet interest as Trim Cut carefully spread one of her wings out over a table extension and brought out a large bottle of scented ointment.
The other specialists finished their assemblies and then patted the cushions. Winona gave a happy bark and leaped up onto the table as Owlowiscious fluttered down and settled onto his own table. Opalescence eyed the pony near her with suspicion and growled when the spa work reached for the cat’s jeweled collar. After two attempts that were met with a swipe of claws, the pony settled for fastening the cord to Opal’s collar.
“Would you care for another treat, Princess?” Trim Cut asked, levitating one of the small biscuits to the Princess as the other ponies offered the same to the trio of pets.
Celestia glanced at the offering, then to the pets enjoying their own snacks. The ponies tending to their clients were mostly focused on their work, but kept giving her sidelong glances. She also noticed a very slight tremor in Trim Cut’s hold on the bit of food he was offering. The Princess politely refused the biscuit and cleared her throat, the corners of her lips fighting to keep from mischievously turning upward as she decided to have a little fun.
“Um...Trim Cut? I have been meaning to ask you a question,” she began. “I’m rather embarrassed to say that my Prench is not what it used to be. What exactly does La Patte Dorée mean?”
“The Golden Paw,” he answered matter-of-factly.
“Paw? Oh.” Celestia turned her head to mask her inability to suppress a grin. “Oh. Oh, no!” As she turned back to look aghast at Trim’s answers, her hoof flew to cover her mouth. “You mean that th-this is… this is a pet spa?”
“Yes?” Trim Cut said with an air of trepidation.
Celestia tensed the muscles in the wing which Trim had been examining. “Good heavens. You mean I’m being treated like just another pet?” she asked, punctuating the question with a dramatic gasp. All activities in the room halted. Winona whined, and Owlowiscious’ eyes somehow grew wider than they already were while Opal simply groomed herself.
“No. Certainly not,” Trim urged with desperate sincerity. “You are an honored guest, as are all of our clients.”
“But this is a spa for pets,” Celestia gently chided. “I don’t belong here.”
“Au contraire, Princess,” Trim Cut entreated. “I was under the impression that you understood that our usual clientele are family companions, but that does not mean we judge what, or who, requests our services. We tend to all of our patrons with the utmost respect, dignity, and professionalism regardless of their species.” The other spa ponies nodded in agreement.
Celestia worriedly glanced around the room as though expecting to see somepony hiding in a corner. She slipped off of her table and dashed to the door. Trim Cut fumbled with the treat he had offered the Princess and gave chase, the other attendants close on his heels. Celestia carefully opened the door and glanced around the hallway. Curious, the spa ponies poked their heads around the door and followed the Princess’s gaze. Spying no one, they ducked back inside before she shut the door tightly.
“Does anypony else know that I am here as a customer?” Celestia beseeched the spa ponies. Her wings fluttered. “The newspapers would just love to get their hooves on this story. Who am I kidding? Forget the papers. What if Luna hears about this? I’d never hear the end of it.” She flung a wing over her face, overemphasizing her movements. “How embarrassing.”
Trim Cut approached the Princess. “Shh-shh-shh. Please, Your Highness, calm yourself. We pride ourselves on carrying out the wishes of our patrons to the letter. The original appointment requested a discreet treatment, and that is what we shall deliver.” He levitated a biscuit over. “Perhaps another delectable to help quiet your concerns?”
“You’re giving me treats to make me behave?” Celestia growled in reply, choking down another chuckle. “Like a common animal?” She peeked out from behind her feathers and inhaled the scent of the snack. “But that does smell delicious.” She licked her lips.
“It is a proprietary recipe and baked by our own sous-chef, Crème Fraîche.” Trim Cut dangled the biscuit in front of Celestia.
“Very well.” Celestia tucked her wing back at her side, took the biscuit, and tossed the whole thing into her mouth. “Oh, these are so very good. Nice crunchy texture. Not too dry.” Her eyes lit up. “Mmm! And a soft, chewy center. What a nice surprise. Is that a hint of mint, too?”
Trim Cut clucked his tongue. “Very astute. Chef Fraîche adds it in for freshness of breath.”
“How clever.” Celestia glanced back at the animals, who all seemed to have been enjoying the attention they were receiving before her antics had drawn away those tending to their needs. Owlowiscious gave her an intent stare, his eyes narrowing as though trying to say something to the Princess. Celestia winked at the owl and then continued, “But this is still a pet spa. This is not a place for ponies.”
“Your Majesty,” Trim Cut began, “if I may try to persuade you otherwise. S’il vous plaît.”
Celestia did not immediately respond, allowing the moment to stretch itself out. After several seconds, she nodded. “You may try.”
“Look at our other clients.” He gestured towards the three pets. “Do they not look happy, relaxed, and well-cared for?” He did not wait for a reply. “Of course they do. That is because here, at La Patte Dorée, there are no pets. Only family and honored guests. Did you not find the aromatics, hors d‘oeuvres, and the company to be pleasant?”
“I certainly do,” Celestia assented.
“Have I, or any of our staff, mistreated you or proven otherwise displeasing?”
“No, of course not.”
“Then, I do not see why you should not remain. Allow us the opportunity to indulge you with our talents.”
Celestia looked intently at Trim Cut, and then around at the other spa ponies. Each of them stood proudly, bearing a confident smile. She could not hold herself in check any longer, and beamed. “You make a convincing argument, Trim Cut.”
“Ah!” Trim Cut clapped his hooves. “Merveilleuse.” Winona barked happily and Owlowiscious added a flap of his wings with a stout hoot. Even Opal managed a short purr. “And see here, you have friends who are most happy that you will be staying too.”
Celestia chuckled. “This has certainly been an odd, but delightful day.” She scanned the room, resting her eyes briefly on each individual in the room as she did so. “One final thing. I’m going to ask you all a question.” Everyone, even Opal, leaned towards Celestia.
“Did any of you see the ruler of Equestria receiving a feather conditioning and a rejuvenation bath at a pet spa today?”
Owlowiscious was the first to answer. “Who?” The rest nodded in agreement.
Celestia visibly relaxed. “Okay then. You may continue.” She held up a wing. “On one condition.” Levitating another biscuit to her mouth, the ruler of Equestria took a small bite and winked. “I insist upon feeding myself.”
