An Urge to Feel

The flaky, toasted breading crunched in my mouth, the sound overlapping the jazz music in my ears. Sunny let me sit quietly, waiting for my answer, but respectively allowed me to think for much longer. Mellow continued to shoot glances at me as she cleaned a few glass mugs.

When I told Mellow I needed to give Sunny’s proposal to go to her home for a good time, she was surprised to see me not snatch up Sunny’s bedtime adventure. But Sunny was much more understanding and knew how strong the idea of sex can be for someponies. Sunny even gave an example of a stallion turning down the idea because he wasn’t ready for it. Whoever he was, it at least didn’t make me less of myself. And the alcohol buzz I had earlier was gone, too, so no inside quips were made.

“I’m sorry if I was too abrasive,” Sunny said softly, breaking the silence at our end of the bar side.

“It’s fine,” I said after swallowing a very thick mouthful of cheese. “Us holding hooves earlier might have been a hint that I was being more open to you.”

“Still, I’m aware of your past with mares. I understand your hesitation.”

I didn’t think she did understand the full extent of my worries. “Believe me when I say I don’t think you would ever want to hurt me. But that negativity.” I looked at the warm-yellow unicorn. “You know what I’m talking about.”

Sunny nodded in response.

“Sunny would never hurt you!” Mellow argued in defense of her friend. “Look at what she did for me! She helped me in my time of need and got me this job! There is nothing to worry about Sunny!”

I was not in the mood to be told my emotions were incorrect. “Have you ever been heartbroken by anypony, Mellow? Do you know how challenging it is to want to be with somepony, yet be proven wrong time after time after time, and not be concerned with being hurt again?”

Before the argument could flare any hotter, Sunny interjected, “Hey! Enough! Both of you; more on you, Mellow!”

Mellow quickly shied away from further talk, her ears falling back in response, a clear sign she was easily defeated. “Sorry,” she whispered, her voice nearly drowned out by the music.

The last thing I wanted was conflict. My own head was my personal battle, even though Sunny and Mellow were successful at making some of the negativity subside and making me feel welcomed. But even those who were close couldn’t fix everything about me.

There was this air of pride to Mellow. She was willing to get upset and supportive if anypony she deems close to her. A good and a bad trait in my opinion.

I crunched on a few slices of fried potatoes, their garlic flavor a minor distraction in all things. The question proaded at me to give a final answer. But I was not ready to finalize my choice. However, I still didn’t mind the concept of talking to either Sunny or Mellow.

“Hey, Mellow?” I asked. The pony in question didn’t answer me, perhaps because she felt ashamed for losing another argument. I couldn’t understand how that feels. I approached with a simple, calm question, “Have you been in any relationships?”

Mellow fiddled about a glass, cleaning every drop of water from it. “Three,” she said to the mug. Sunny’s chair squeaked as she adjusted herself to face Mellow. “The first one was with a stallion in high school. He was very nice to me, but our relationship didn’t last because we had puppy love for each other. You know, that feeling you have toward somepony that you just fall head over hooves for them because of their looks and then realize you two aren’t compatible.” Mellow hummed a soft laugh, “Our breakup was actually funny because we were both so worried that we didn’t want to hurt the other, we continued to date for two full weeks.”

“Aww, how cute,” Sunny giggled. “I never knew about this stallion before. I thought you only dated one pony when we met; a mare.”

Mellow went and placed the mug she was drying for a minute on a small metal hanger. “I was too embarrassed to tell you about it. The breakup I had with him was kinda similar to how our little separation went when I told you I wanted to be a close friend.” Mellow didn’t turn away from the wall with dangling mugs, but the very edges of her cheeks started to flare. “W-with potential benefits…”

Sunny nodded with her normal bright smile. As for myself, it helped me understand Mellow’s friendship with Sunny a lot more, especially when it came to the kiss Mellow gave earlier. They were very close, indeed.

Mellow returned to the sink but went slowly to keep her flushed face hidden from me. “Thanks to Sunny spoiling stories about me dating a mare-”

“”Spoiling?!’” Sunny exclaimed with a grin. “Copper already knows about us and that we went on a date.”

“I’m still embarrassed to say it aloud,” Mellow admitted. “I know how some ponies, especially stallions, might get the wrong idea from me and think I’m strange.”

“That’s fair,” I said. “Though I have no issue with what you did. I still think you are a great pony.”

Only ever so slightly did Mellow turn her cute blue face at me. “Hehe, thanks.”

My heart fluttered a few centimeters up toward my throat and wondered if I myself was infected with potential puppy love. “I can assume your breakup with your old boyfriend was amusing,” I said.

“It was!” Mellow laughed. “You see, he was the first to speak up about how he really felt about our relationship, and when I told him I felt the same way, he went and said, ‘Oh thank goodness! I was so scared to tell you I didn’t want to date you anymore,’ but then turned around and recorrected himself, saying, ‘Not to say I didn’t have fun and enjoyed your company!’”

Mellow concluded her small story with a small bat of her hoof, “He was such an awkward and cute stallion. We were just in that stage of teenagerdome where we just wanted to be in a relationship for the sake of it.”

“I remember those silly days,” I sighed.

“I second that,” Sunny added with a raised hoof.

The nostalgia of high school, despite the drama it came with, did allow me to poke fun at myself with how desperate someponies were when it came to dating.

“Now what about this mare you dated once,” I asked. “I know it isn’t Sunny because you mentioned a second one before.”

The music onstage halted in an abrupt crescendo. Both of Mellow’s ears fell down, a sign something went terribly wrong. Sunny wasn’t too happy either; not with me, but the countertop as she leered at it.

“When… I was in my early college years, something happened to me…” Mellow began in a near quiet whisper.

That evening I was partaking in sure was full of upsetting stories.

“It wasn’t something terrible! At least, to me it wasn’t… I think.”

Sunny snapped her head up at Mellow, “Nothing terrible happened to you! It was that… wretched father of hers who was terrible!”

“Woah, woah, Bessie!” I said, urging the sudden solar flare from Sunny to not get any louder. She drew many eyes toward the three of us with her shout. “What happened?”

Mellow flinched at the sudden motion and noise. “No need to get so angry. Though… I can understand why…” Unable to look Sunny’s way, Mellow gandered toward mine. “You see, what happened was… I… just…” The more and more Mellow delved into the story, her face got redder and redder. “...suddenly got the hots for mares. It just… happened. I saw more beauty in mares, and it didn’t help that one pony, Sand Dollar, was such a super sweet pony.”

I wanted to ask the childish “what happened next” question, but I had a strong feeling I would learn who the “wretched father” was in a moment.

The sound of Sunny’s breathing grew heavier and louder as it rushed out her muzzle. Whatever happened to Mellow really got Sunny furious. Mellow took out a spray bottle and shot a few spurts into a cloth before beginning on wiping down some of the stainless steel surfaces.

“Sand Dollar and I dated for two months before we confronted her father about our relationship,” Mellow said. Her circular wiping motions came to a stop. “His reaction was far from reasonable…”

I took a few potato wedges and crammed them into my mouth to keep myself from any tempting questions that would interrupt her story. Though I did lend Sunny my arm as a stress-relieving lifeline. She quickly snatched and lassoed it nice and tight.

“He just kept yelling at Sand Dollar and I, telling me I was poisoning her mind or something because I wasn’t a stallion.” Mellow shook her head and took an unstable breath in. “And things got worse for her at home… Her father became a bully to her, egging her to break up with me. But Sand Dollar refused, even though our relationship brought her so much pain…”

The bartender’s breathing started to shake. “S-s-so I ended her pain myself… B-by… breaking up with her…” Mellow squeaked.

Sunny couldn’t contain herself or remain still. In a bright flash, Sunny Day teleported behind the bartop to claim Mellow Skies into her embrace as the light-blue sobbed once more. I was stabbed in the gut by the tragic end to what could have been a fruitful relationship. And I thought I had bad experiences with romance. Mellow’s far exceeded what I could even gasp.

Everypony in the store looked at the spectacle, even the employees and band members seized their actions.

A stallion behind me spoke up, “I am so sorry this is happening in front of you, sir.” I looked back to see a golden-plaque pin on the unicorn’s shirt that read: Store Owner.

The instant Mellow heard the owner’s voice, she stepped away from Sunny. “Mr. Moonshine! I-I was-”

Moonshine rose his dark-crimson red hoof to stop her from speaking. He didn’t look too happy, but his brows didn’t express anger, either. “Mellow, how many times have you broke down like this on the job?”

I knew exactly what was going to happen and there was nothing I could do but spectate. The passage of termination was always the same process: boss asks a how or what question involving a wrongful action, the employee explains said action or behavior, then the boss ends their employment.

“Far too many to count…” Mellow answered like a mouse-like squeak.

Moonshine focused in on Sunny Day along with some unfriendly brows. “Why is it that whenever you come around, Mellow gets like this, Sunny?”

Sunny swallowed something in her throat. “We just talk about things.”

“And unfortunately…” Moonshine started, though he hesitated. He did not want to go through with terminating Mellow’s employment. “Unfortunately, those things you discuss with Mellow really gets her down.” He looked Mellow’s way again, his eyes sad despite his frighteningly red irises staring through the pegasus.

“You were one of the best workers I’ve had, Mellow Skies.” Moonshine gestured to all the customers behind him. “But you always cause a scene out in the open in front of all these ponies. Paying customers come to me, asking ‘why I have such an emotional pony on the team?’ You and I have talked about this issue before. And despite your excellent work ethic and talent, I just… don’t believe this is the environment for you, Mellow.”

Mellow buried her face into Sunny’s chest as she cried bitterly. I wanted to vouch for Mellow, but I didn’t want the store owner to get on my case. And it wasn’t my battle to fight, even though I wanted to help.

“Please!” Sunny begged through her own tears, “Mellow has nowhere to go! She needs this!”

“I have a business to run, Sunny…” Moonshine sighed. As tough-as-nails as he looked, Moonshine himself was very, very distraught. “You’re fired, Mellow Skies. Go home. I’m sorry.”

***

It was nice for Sunny and Mellow to allow me to follow them back to Sunny’s place. The streets had a soft-quiet vibe that didn’t create the eerie feeling darkness gave off. The lamps were a warm white that lit the cobblestone pathway. The cool autumn air was fresh and complimented a clear sky with a few clouds that dotted about the stars.

The setting, however, did not mean everything was beautiful.

Sunny was doing her absolute best to not cry; not a single tear slid down her face. Either that, or she allowed one to slip but was crafty and didn’t allow me to see it. It was the opposite for Mellow. She let every tear and every hot breath escape into the world. Her humid breath puffed out her mouth in fast concession like a stressed train ascending a steep incline.

Mellow was bunched up against Sunny. So much in fact that I was convinced Mellow would crawl under Sunny’s green sweater to keep her bare body warm.

“Th-th-thanks for letting me st-stay th-the night,” Mellow said through her mutters and shivers. Her voice broke my heart.

“I’m surprised you still want to be around me…” Sunny sighed. Mellow nuzzled Sunny’s cheek but said nothing in response. The gesture was enough to make both mares, including myself, to smile. “You’re tears are cold, Mellow. But I’ll make sure to keep you nice and cozy.”

Mellow’s grin widened, “I’ll do the same…” Despite the nightly air and dim lighting, I saw Mellow blush and lean into Sunny’s ear. And I heard the words, “...Sunny Bunny.”

It was impossible to not laugh at the silly and adorable moment both mares were having. Mellow was not happy that I heard her pet name of Sunny and turned her red face away from me. “What?” I smiled. “It was cute.”

“Hehe, it was,” Sunny giggle in conjunction with my light laughter.

The cool air became slightly comfortable even though I had no body to cling to. And Mellow slowly turned back toward Sunny and me with a shy smile. It did subside, but it didn’t turn into a frown. “Hey, Sunny? Can I ask you two questions?”

“Of course,” Sunny nodded.

The sudden request peaked my interest, and my ears swiveled toward the pegasus to listen. “What are we going to do about getting me another job?”

With quick reflexes, Sunny booped Mellow on the muzzle. “Let’s worry about personal matters later. Tomorrow morning, we can focus more on that.”

“I figured you’d say that,” Mellow said unsurprised. “That’s fine, then.”

“Good,” Sunny said with a blunt conclusion to the first question. “Onto your second question!”

Once more, Mellow’s face changed color, angling her eyes directly at me. “I was wondering… if maybe Copper could, you know, still come over as well if he wants to...”

My heart skipped a beat, and my lungs forced out a thick cloud of hot air.

Sunny smiled at me and said, “If he wants to. My offer still stands, though I understand if you don’t want to.” While I tried to muster up something to say, Sunny rose a brow at Mellow, “What are you trying to imply with inviting him over with now you joining the picture?”

The cold tickled at Mellow’s neck and shook her violently. “B-because… I kind of…” Her voice slowly descended into a whisper. “...want his company tonight.”

There was obviously more to her words. In fact, a lot more was added to Sunny’s proposal. Still, I was hesitant despite my possible scenario with spending my evening with two mares at once. I looked at Mellow’s cute, flushed face. Would a mare like her really go out of her way to harm me?

“If that’s okay with you,” Mellow added with a tiny smile.

I wanted to say “yes” with absolute certainty. I had no doubt that many stallions would never turn down such an offer. Still, I wanted to be sure of my choice.

“Why do you want me to join you two?” I asked Mellow specifically. I cursed at myself for questioning the fun time I could have with Mellow and Sunny. My heart just didn’t want to be hurt and needed to know her intentions.

“Because you are our friend,” Mellow answered without hesitation, though her brows furrowed a bit. “You are a stellar stallion, Copper. I heard and saw how true you can be when you talked to Sunny and me. And I find being honest a great trait in a pony.

“I know the past hurt you,” Mellow continued, her eyes falling to the cobble path. “It hurt me, too, with my old friend.” She snapped her eyes right back at me. “But I knew I could find a better friend despite my worries of getting into possible arguments. It just took time to find them.”

Mellow stopped walking and let go of Sunny, extending a hoof to me. “Did you expect to find us this evening?”

The cool-colored hoof looked warm, and I couldn’t ignore the chilly air. “I d-didn’t.”

“Neither did we.” Mellow inched her hoof closer to me. Sunny moved slightly forward but stilled her joints. She was letting Mellow do the talking. “I will hate myself forever if I ruined your trust and broke your heart! Just give us a chance! Give me a chance! Life is full of chances! That’s why I’m here in Canterlot after all!”

I finally took the offered hoof into one of my cold hooves. Mellow beamed at the gesture, though I only stared at it; that didn’t mean I couldn’t see her wonderful smile.

“I think I know why I am hesitant,” I confessed. “As good of a feeling as it might be to spend an evening with a mare with intimate intentions, I don’t want it to be just pleasure. I want to give my love, give my everything.”

Part of me figured Sunny would make a suggestive joke, so I grinned at her. “Yes, Sunny. Every. Inch of me.”

“Oh my!” Sunny giggled. “Tell us more!”

Mellow’s blush showed her mind was being riled up by my words. However, I wanted to be more romantic and less suggestive.

“If I am to spend the evening with either of you two,” I started, my eyes darting between both mares, “it would be nice to know that you both feel the same about me while we… do things. At least like me for me.”

I felt embarrassed for setting guidelines for sex but there was no other way for me to get in bed with any mare, regardless of the time I’ve known them. I’ve had some thoughts drift when it came to Choco, but those thoughts were mostly just us spending time together, maybe kissing.

My heart was something I cared for. It kept me alive. And it hated being hurt. Because if it started hurting, I felt it. I just wanted to be real and honest. Mellow liked that out of a stallion, but how much was about to be seen.

“I know we’ve just met, Copper,” Mellow said, creating warm friction as she stroked the wrist she held. “But I see a great pony in you. I want to know more about you.” Mellow started to move toward me, claiming more and more of my arm. The pegasus’ muzzle touched mine, the heat of her shooting through my face. “And I trust that you will treat me well.”

I couldn’t pinpoint just how the action did what it did, but I believed her. Was I charmed and suddenly in love? Like Mellow said, “Give me a chance.”

However, that didn’t remove Sunny from the equation. I moved my muzzle off of Mellow and gandered to a very happy Sunny Day. I was surprised at her behavior because I was basically starting to become very fond of Mellow in front of her. That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Sunny, but she was a few bars short. Was she okay with that? Both she and Mellow were going to have their time together that evening, and I felt like I was stealing that time away.

Why was I complicating everything?

“What about you, Sunny? I… don’t want to leave you out, so how do you feel about me?” I asked.

Sunny continued to either be content or very hidden about her feelings about everything. “I think that everything Mellow said about you in regards to your character sums up my own feelings toward you.”

Sunny was not afraid to step forward and show her own red cheeks. “Believe me when I say you are the type of stallion I’d love to be with.” She stroked my shoulder while Mellow giggled at my expense. The evening chill increased my nervous shivering. “Can I show you my own feelings through actions?”

Sunny gestured her muzzle toward Mellow, “I can easily tell Mellow has the hots for you.” The comment forced Mellow to stop her giggling. She gripped my arm tightly and did her best to hide behind my figure. “After tonight, you two can have each other. Just allow me to express that two mares can like the same stallion.”

I eyed Sunny with shock. “But what about you? How will you feel after tonight?”

The fiery unicorn winked at me, not wavered by jealousy; or she was a master at hiding it. “I have a tendency to go on many dates. I’ll find my special somepony eventually. However, you and Mellow are too perfect for each other. I don’t want to get in the way of what could be an everlasting relationship.”

It was Mellow’s turn to ask Sunny a question, however, her approach was much more personal. Mellow broke off from me and looked at Sunny with a very serious, yet concerned stare. “You mean that, Sunny? You’re okay with me and Copper being together?”

Sunny rose a brow, “Why wouldn’t I? You and I ended up still being friends with some benefits. That means you are free to be with anypony you please.” The yellow unicorn grinned at me, “And considering how Copper is taking everything into consideration concerning love, I have no doubt that after tonight, he won’t want to share his Marshmellow with anypony else. I see nothing wrong with that.”

The pegasus looked at the tiny stones she stood on. “You promise?”

“I swear on my life!” Sunny proclaimed as a matter of factly. She looked at me and flattened her lips into a straight line. “And I won’t try to take her away from you. Wouldn’t want to add another reason why you are afraid of asking a mare out, now do we?”

My tail swished, trying to swipe the possible reality where a mare stole my girlfriend away from me. What little pride I had in myself would be shattered, the shrapnel possibly killing me in the process. “No, we don’t,” was all I said.

A yellow veil suddenly swallowed Mellow and picked her several inches off the ground. Mellow gasped a little but restrained herself once she realized who cast the spell on her. Sunny grabbed my hoof, giving it a light pull. Her usual warm smile bloomed, concerning the cold air around us. “Enough serious talk! Let’s have some fun!”

I nodded with a smile of my own. I decided to take a chance.