Chapters Misadventures of a Human turned Draconequus
Prologue: Waking up in a new world
I have NO idea what happened, one minute I was crossing the street... next thing I know, a massive Peterbilt rammed right into me, then I woke up in Equestria.
I was walking across the street. It was supposed to be a normal day.
The stoplight malfunctioned causing a Peterbilt to ram into me, killing me instantly. I wasn't supposed to be there. It wasn't supposed to be me. The truck slammed against me, sending me flying into an oncoming car, killing me instantly. The ambulance was called, but it was too late.
I immediately prayed to any deity I could think of to take me away to another world. I hear Equestria's nice this time of year. I groaned holding my head. Y'ever had a headache? It feels like a million tiny yous pounding on your forehead. That's how bad of a headache I had. I slowly sat up in a forest. The Everfree forest was all around me. The sun shined right in my face as I covered my face with a... a paw. I lifted up my other paw to see the same thing.
"I should get a good look at myself." I muttered to myself.
I crawled over to a body of water and got a good look at myself, and no, it wasn't to indulge my own non-existent narcissism. What I saw shocked me:
Body and color scheme:
I had the colors of an orca, white spots included. My torso was that of a dragon, with black fur all over the body, minus the head, which I will cover in a minute. My underbelly was white. I had a pair of black feathery wings, with a wingspan to match Princess Celestia's wings. Awesome sauce.
Arms:
Both of them were black paws with opposable digits. Probably bear paws.
Legs:
I had the back hooves of a pony.
Head:
I had the head, horns, and neck span of a dragon with violet eyes with black slits, like an Enderman. The head and neck were black with the same white spots you would see on a killer whale, but they were on the sides of my head. My hair was black and done in a fin-like style.
Tail:
My tail was serpentine with two feathers and looked like the end of an arrow.
While I was examining myelf, I was trying my best to not scream at my own appearance. It was very hard not to, but I did one thing that sensible bronies, like myself would do in my situation:
I did backflips and cried out with joy. "I'm in Equestria! WOOO!!!!"
Suddenly, a fucking paper jabbed me in the eye. I plucked it out and read it.
Congratulations and good evening! You have been chosen to become a Spirit of Chaos. Before you do anything completely reckless, you'll need to know the basic rundown of your new powers and your form.
First and foremost, your form is based off of favorite animals of your choice, either real or mythical, as long as it resembles a horse and dragon.
Secondly, the only limit is your imagination. Your new powers are centered around bringing whatever you think of into reality. Simply snap your fingers for it to work! If you don't have fingers, it can be activated by thought, similar to unicorn magic. You can also become anyone and anything, as long as you don't harm a living being. Now for the basic rundown of your powers.
1)You cannot kill.
2)You can't force anyone to fall in love.
3) You cannot bring back the dead. It's not a pretty picture. SO DON'T DO IT BRAH!!!!!
4) Have fun! And don't do anything I wouldn't do.
I snorted derisively.
Were there any rules? Or were there no limits to chaos magic in the first place. Ah whatever, best not to question it.
Misadventures of a Human turned Draconequus
Chapter 1: Chaos Magic 101
It's been five, six, twenty four hours since I read the letter. I dunno how long it's been, I don't keep track, so don't ask me. I STILL haven't even tried out my chaos magic. One does not simply not come to Equestria and give their powers a test drive. I sat down on a rock, probably not the smartest idea but I was exhausted from walking and I wasn't thinking clearly, so shaddup.
I snapped my fingers and a Ford Mustang appeared out of nowhere. I snapped my fingers again and the Mustang vanished.
Without even thinking, I said, "Man, I would kill for a grilled cheese sandwich right about now." After saying that, I snapped my fingers. To my surprise, and subsequent joy, a grilled cheese sandwich from In-N-Out appeared in my hand and I was happily snacking on it.
With my snack done, I decided to keep flying.
One snap of my fingers, I banished the wrappings.
I snapped my fingers and conjured some a tactical vest for myself. I also magicked my backpack from my room back on Earth. I also magicked my own room so nothing would happen to it and stored it away in another realm.
So far, I'v been able to use my chaos magic without so much as breaking a sweat.
"I wonder if I'm as powerful as Discord?" I wondered out loud. Guess the only way for me to find out is if he challenges me to a chaos magic fight.
Five minutes later...
I wound up in Canterlot, I was just flying around with no particular destination in mind, yet I somehow managed to find my way here without even trying. YES! THE HOME OF PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA!
Oh crap. I know what this means... the inevitable meeting with royalty.
"HALT CREATURE!!! WHO AND WHAT MANNER OF CREATURE ARE YOU?!?!" Princess Celestia suddenly showed up and screamed in my face. Little did I know that she'd become my future wife.
"My ears."
"I WON'T ASK YOU AGAIN. WHAT. ARE. YOU!" she thundered.
"I don't care if you believe me or not, but... I'm a draconequus, but I wasn't always."
A moment of silence that was so deafening that I swear I heard crickets.
Then:
"WHAT! IMPOSSIBLE! DISCORD IS THE ONLY DRACONEQUUS! WHO SENT YOU!"
"Nobody sent me. I came here of my own accord. I just want to learn to be a better friend..." I sobbed into my paws. Tears staining my fur as I started sobbing. Celestia flew over to me and hugged me.
"WAIT Y-*HACK!* sorry. What do you mean you weren't always a draconequus?"
"Exactly that. It's quite a a long story and I'm too lazy to tell that version, so I'll give you the abridged version: I was run over by a semi-truck and I woke up like this. I barely have a grasp of my powers and I just started teaching myself."
"You speak the truth," I raised a paw to speak but she cut me off, "however, I'd like you to come with me to the castle and introduce you to my sister."
"Do you have a name?"
I thought about it for a minute and then replied, "Entropy. My name is Entropy." I face palmed myself. Ah well, it's better than any other name I could have picked from a thesaurus.
"Are you sniffing my fur?!" Celestia asks.
Crap! I blanched. "Uh, no." 15 minutes later...
Celestia and I had made it to Princess Luna's night court sessions. Luckily for us, it was a relatively slow day.
Celestia explained everything for me to her sister. After that, Celestia directed me to my room where I'd be staying temporarily.
The bed was waaaaaay too small for me, so I snapped my fingers and the bed grew to fit me.
Later that night, when everyone was asleep, the two sisters were conversing with one another.
"Sister," asked Luna, "what should we do?"
Celestia sighed and perched a hoof on the balcony railing, "We make friends with him. He needs friends. Ask for his friendship, and we will ask Twilight and her friends to do the same."
Luna nodded, "Okay sister, I trust your judgement." Eventually Luna and I became fast friends with each other. Meanwhile Celestia sent off a letter to Twilight and her friends.
"Please," Celestia prayed to no one in particular, "may Entropy learn the Magic of Friendship. As I have." She turned around and closed the doors behind her with a smile on her face.
Author's Note
Next up: Introductions and a musical number coming up!
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Misadventures of a Human turned Draconequus
Chapter 2: Meet the Mane Six (You Ain't Never Had a Draconequus like me)
9 hours ago...
Twilight was busy rearranging the books in perfect order, as spike was cleaning out the library, so it wouldn't attract any bad business. "Hey Twilight I’m almost done with th-(BURP)." Suddenly Spike burped up a letter from the Princess, and went to take it to Twilight.
"Hey Twilight, a letter from the Princess has arrived." Spike said as Twilight went to grab the letter from the young drake.
"I wonder what it could be? I hope everything’s alright." Twilight said as she read the letter and was completely speechless at what was written there. "There’s another draconequus? And he wants to be friends?" Twilight said as she just kept reading the letter over and over until she accepted what was on it. "Spike, go let the other girls know about this, and have them ready tomorrow."
"Ok Twilight you can count on me." Spike said as he went to write letters to the rest of the main 6.
Twilight was now in her room packing up things she might need for the trip to Canterlot. She was still worried about this new Draconequus, but if Princess Celestia said he was no danger, than she has nothing much to worry about. She wondered what to ask of him, and was now writing down questions. "This could be the research opportunity of the century!" Or a brand new headache. She thought to herself, rubbing her hooves together.
As the group of six, plus Starlight and Sunburst sat in the carriage, they decided to have a conversation about the new arrival to pass the time.
"Oooo! Do you think he like parties!? I hope so. And do you think he'll make chocolate rain!? Oh I love cho-" Applejack shoved a hoof in Pinkie Pie’s mouth.
"Simmer down Pinkie, we need ta meet him before throwing a party for em" Applejack said while adjusting her hat, so as to prevent it from blowing off in the wind.
"I certainly hope he’s not like Discord at all, that ruffian still gives me the creeps. Even if he is good." Rarity said, keeping her mane clean.
"Well I hope he’s not scary, but if the Princesses letter says he’s friendly, I would very much like to meet him." Fluttershy said, trying not to look down at the ground and think about that too much.
"Don't worry, if he tries anything, we can take him down and kick his flank." Rainbow Dash said, sounding tough, receiving rolling eyes from the others, bar Fluttershy and Pinkie.
"Alright everypony we're almost to Canterlot, now remember we will offer and teach him friendship, and 'NO' attacking him alright?" Twilight said giving a look to Rainbow Dash who just shrugged it off.
"We’re here Ladies, err, and gentlecolt." One of the Royal guards announce, as they made their decent to the castle.
"Alright, time to meet the new Draconequus." The rest of the main 6 and Spike nodded in agreement, as they entered the castle's throne room finding Princess Celestia and bowing down to her.
"Twilight, it’s great to see you again." Celestia said smiling her trademark motherly smile. "Now you all know of our newest arrival right?"
They nodded in understanding. "Good I'll go get him, just wait here."
Celestia walked off to the royal bed chambers, while the Main 6 and Spike started a conversation to pass the time.
"Alright everypony, this is Entropy." I waved to them.
Each of them had different reactions:
Rainbow Dash was giving me the evil eye, guess I can't blame her. Probably trying to see if I'm anything like the old Discord.
Twilight was scrutinizing me, probably trying to figure out the animals I'm made of.
Rarity was trying not to faint. Good on her. There's waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many fanfics where she just flat out faints at the first new creature she sees.
Fluttershy was hiding behind her mane.
Pinkie was bouncing up and down and planning my party.
Applejack was also scrutinizing me but could see no evil. Makes sense since she's the Element of Honesty and all, that and I don't have a single evil bone in my body.
Starlight and Sunburst also scrutinized me, probably trying to guess what animals I'm made of. Good luck with that.
"You know who I am right? No?" They shake their heads.
I snap my fingers and a clock wearing a drum that has drumsticks banging against it and playing a kazoo appeared.
"Well, Ali Baba, he had them forty thieves Scheherazade had a thousand tales But, master, you're in luck because up your sleeves You got a draconequus whose magic never fails! "
No reaction. I snap my fingers and vanished the instrument playing clock.
"Sheesh! everypony's a critic!" I say exasperated. I then got an idea. I had a wonderful, awful idea. With my mind made up, I made use of my chaos magic.
"I'm kidding. Here watch this." I snap my fingers and the tapestries in the throne room became a literal carpet band. "Here I go!"
"Well humans have them forty screens and ponies spin a thousand tales. But my friends you're in luck 'cause up your sleeves ("Not that you have any.") You got a brand of magic that never fails! You got some fun and games in your kingdom now! Some fancy display of magik everywhere You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how See I will pop out of nowhere And I'll say:
Messers, man, what's your guys's names? Ah, whatever, what will your pleasure be? Let me take your order, I'll jot it down You ain't never had a friend like me
Life is your cake... and I'm your chef supreme! Come, whisper to me whatever it is you want You ain't never had a friend like me ( I split myself into eight) ( Cut to an illusion of Sugarcube Corner) We pride ourselves on service You the bosses, the queens, the shahs! Say what you wish, it's yours! True dat How about a little more swaaaaag?
Try some of column A Sample aaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of column B
( I created two opposing racks of clothes out of nowhere)
I'm in the mood to help you, my dudes You ain't never had a friend like me!
Oh! Uh! This the big part, watch out! This is the big part, oh!
Can Dashie do this? Can AJ do that? Can Rarity ("Hey!") pull this... Out her little haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Can your friends go-
POOF!
Well lookie here! HAHA!
Don't sit there all buggy-eyed! I'm here to answer all your prayers You got me bona fide, magically certified! ( I used my chaos magic to create a fake diploma from nowhere then vanish it) I'm like a genie for your charge d'affaires I got this real powerful urge to help you out So whatchu wanna do today? Huh? I really wanna know You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt All you gotta do is call me like sooooooooooo...
Messers, ("Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Applejack ya'll, Pinkie!, Starlight Glimmer, Sunburst"), yes! One outing or two or three Well, I'm on the job, you big nabobs You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend, you ain't Never had a friend, never had a friend You ain't never (never!) Had a (had a) Friend (friend) Like (like) Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
"AHHAHA!"
"HAHAHA!"
You ain't never had a friend like me! "
I snapped my fingers with everything going back to normal, sat down on the carpet, extended my neck to face them and said, "Pssst. This is the part where you applaud."
I finished my song and I got different reactions:
Twilight, Rarity and Applejack froze up. Fluttershy passed out.
Sunburst and Starlight had the best reactions out of all of the ponies.
"Buh..."
Rainbow Dash burst out laughing. She laughed so hard she started crying. Rarity tried her hardest not to faint. Huh. She went five minutes without passing out. Usually in fanfics she barely lasts even a second. That's a new record, even for her.
Luna and Pinkie wanted an encore, and Celestia just facehooved.
"Close them muzzles now. You'll catch flies if you keep doing that." I cackled.
"Entropy," Rainbow Dash says, "you are soooo random!" And I swore I heard Celestia say, "I've made a terrible mistake."
"Can I ask you a question?" Twilight asks.
"You just did." Twilight scowls at me, clearly not amused, "No, seriously. What's your question?"
"How did you die?"
"You want the long version, or the abridged version?"
"Okay, the long version: I was walking home when a traffic light malfunctioned, turned green a little too early, and a Peterbilt rammed right into me and killed me instantly, turning me into a hood ornament, and a rather lovely one might I add. I made a nice Peterbilt ornament. Short version: I died and became a draconequus and I'm miraculously resurrected in another world. Any more questions?" I say, snapping my fingers, making a root beer bottle appear, taking a swig, then magiking it away. Twilight's eye twitched. Something tell's me that she's gonna have to reign me in.
Meanwhile, in Luna's mind...
"What the buck is a semi truck?" chorused tiny copies of Princess Luna.
back to reality...
"Why did you come here darling?" asked Rarity.
"Truthfully, aside from becoming the hood ornament of a Peterbilt, I wanted to get away from my old life. I wasn't exactly happy with it. Yes, I had friends on Earth and I was happy, but I rarely get to see them. I'm hoping that by making friends here, I'd always be able to visit them." I stated sadly.
"But your planet sounds amazing!" said Twilight. My eyes narrowed into slits, glowing purple.
"Yes. At first it sounds all like sunshine and rainbows, uh, the phenomenon, not the pony... but then, there's a grittier side to the world. It is a disgusting cesspool of despair and hopelessness and full of bad people that only care about themselves, who wouldn't know what decency was if it sat on them, with only a handful of decent people who try their hardest to make the world a better place, only to be subverted at every turn." Fluttershy and Luna and Celestia now felt bad for me, they could not even imagine a world like what I had just described.
Pinkie breathed in, presumably to pelt me with questions, so I decided to try something I've always wanted to do. "Yes. No, no. Only on certain days of the week, no I can't stand alcohol, it tastes weird to me. I can have root beer cause today was supposed to be a cheat day for me, yes, buck yes, rainbow sherbet, and I absolutely love parties."
Pinkie's jaw hit the floor. Quite literally.
"Hey CELLY!" I say, craning my head backwards, grossing out a few of the mane six, bar Fluttershy who has seen Discord do this many times. "Who am I going to live with? Last I checked, my personal pocket dimension isn't ready for me to move into just yet, and I don't have any cash on my person soooo... who will you send me to live with?"
"I believe, that that is up to you, and your friends." A single tear was shed that day.
"He can live with me at the school of friendship!" chirped Twilight happily.
"Does anypony have any objections?" everypony shook their heads no.
"Excellent. Entropy, I Princess Celestia, Sol Invictus of the sun, hereby decree that you are to live with Twilight Sparkle at the School of Friendship."
I morph into the Spy from Team Fortress 2, "Excellent." I shift back, earning me an eye roll from Celestia and Luna.
Everyone including me shuffled out of the throne room and down to Ponyville, and my new home, the School of Friendship. I sincerely hope I wasn't made canon. That would be awesome actually. I'm thinking t-shirts or action figures.
I have a feeling that me saying that is going to come back and bite me in the flank. Little did I know that it would be made true. While deep in my thoughts, all nine of us piled onto the next available train from Canterlot to Ponyville. I had a good look at the train station. It was different from the show and not at all what I was expecting. picture Grand Central Station from New York, now blend that with Canterlot's mountain. This whole world so far has subverted my expectations, even exceeding them somehow. Star Wars Episode 8 subverted everyone's expectations. On the way to the train, there were ponies staring and pointing at me, I expected that, and I really don't blame them, being a new draconequus and all. SO, they really don't know what I'm actually like.
"Can you show us some of your magic?" Twilight asked me, interrupting my thoughts.
I snap my fingers, but my magic fizzed out. Irritated, I snap my fingers again and accidentally turned Rarity's mane into an afro, which unfortunately she saw me laugh at. She was glaring daggers at me. Even Twilight and Spike glared at me.
I sigh. "Spoil sport. I'll make it up to you. Somehow." *SNAP*
I felt someone tap me and turn around to say, "Sir, your personal pocket dimension is ready. You may move in at your leisure." The someone who tapped me was some kind of void creature wearing a hard hat and construction vest which was very amusing to me, but made absolutely no sense, but it also explained part of the reason my magic abruptly stopped working. Ponies can't see them, but draconequui can. I'll explain how my chaos magic works later. But as Discord says, "What's the fun in making sense?" Speaking of which, I'll probably getting a visit from him pretty soon. With that in mind, I made a mental note to myself to move into my personal pocket dimension.
As a matter of fact, I haven't even met him yet.
I abruptly shuddered, causing my new friends to look at me with a bit of concern.
"You alright man?" Rainbow asked.
"I'm fine, apparently when I get lost in thought," I abruptly shudder as my serpentine body wriggled. "that happens. So nopony talk about philosophy *SHUDDER* or else that happens."
I then decided to take a nap on the train.
"Soon... Equestria shall tremble once more in FEAR."
"...y."
"...opy."
"...ropy."
"...tropy."
"ENTROPY!!!!!" Twilight thundered and blushed, realizing how loud she was.
I woke up with a start.
"You okay? You're actin' really weird."
"I'm fine. Just startled me is all."
Applejack scrutinizes me for a second and sits back down.
"We good?" I say, nudging Rarity. She doesn't respond and I groaned, exasperated. "Look, I've fixed your mane and I've said I'm sorry profusely, what more do you want from me?"
"Show me you didn't mean to do it on purpose, we agree to not speak of this again, and maybe I'll forgive you. However, I can't stay mad at you forever, so yes. We're 'good'." Rarity says, making air quotes with her hooves.
I literally sagged in my seat, (which caused Twilight to giggle) relieved that Rarity doesn't exactly hold onto a grudge for very long.
Before I knew it, we had arrived in Ponyville. Twilight and her friends assured the townsponies that I was nothing like the old Discord and I was here to make some friends and keep them from harm's way.
"You guys are fine." I say answering one pony's question, "Besides. I don't really have it in me to be evil. I literally do not have a single evil bone in my body."
After one of Pinkie's parties concluded, Twilight directed me to a tree near the School of Friendship where I could sleep, as there wasn't any spare rooms. I opened up a portal to my personal dimension and started moving into it.
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Misadventures of a Human turned Draconequus
Chapter 3: Settling In and Exploring my Personal Pocket Dimension
I forced my paw into the very fabric of reality and pinched it, the rift opened up like a zipper. I jumped into the rift as it closed behind me. I entered my pocket dimension and all I could see was this:
"Hello darkness, my old friend!" I say jokingly. "I've come to talk with you again."
I cupped my paws around my muzzle and shouted, "ECHO!"
"HOW'S IT GOING?" the echo answered back.
"I'M GOOD! HOW BOUT YOU? (*ECHO*)"
"I'M FINE!" the echo shouts back.
"I GOTTA GO!" I shouted back.
"OKAY! I'LL SEE YOU LATER!"
The Echo That Answers Back also inhabits my home dimension.
Surrounding the gigantic chunk of land was an endless galaxy of stars and nebulas, a picture perfect representation of what goes on in my mind. A mere mortal would lose their marbles trying to make sense of my pocket dimension. My mind was an endless void of pure imagination, an accurate depiction of my twisted sense of humor. There was also a two story house with a pool in its backyard. This house looks like my old one back on Earth. There were also multiple biomes where all sorts of weird creatures resided. Book bats, flying pigs, anything else outrageous and surreal I could imagine resided here. Probably something I'd think of in my dreams.
"Wow." I said, swimming towards the house. "It's... spectacular."
I finally landed on the chunk of land In front of my new home. Opening up another rift, I magicked my entire room into the two-story house. I also started magicking some furniture to decorate the lower story's interior. I snapped my fingers and repainted exterior of the house in my fur's colors: Black and white. What? Black's a cool color, don't judge me. "These colors are boring as heck. Time for a face lift."
Side note: I actually have many ways of entering my pocket dimension, one of them is snapping my fingers and I enter my dimension that way, literally opening a rift, and summoning the pocket dimension.
After I had finished decorating, a pie had slammed into me.
I turned and saw Discord himself. He did not look happy. I better see what he wants. I snapped my fingers and my fur was cleansed of the pie. You have any idea how hard I try to keep myself groomed? Million bit fur here!
"Can I help you?"
"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A CHAOS BATTLE BECAUSE I'M BORED OUT OF MY EVER LOVING MIND AND I HAVE NOTHING ELSE BETTER TO DO!" Hm. Probably wants to test my magic and see if I'm a threat. Might as well indulge him.
I shrug my shoulders. "Okay. And you don't need to yell. I can hear you just fine."
I cracked my paws. "Hi-o silver."
I snap my fingers and a bunch of flying books appear and swarm Discord.
"This is going to hurt."
"WAAAAAAAAAAGH! Horseapples! I bet this hurts so much." Discord yells, trying in vain to shield himself from the onslaught of paper cuts.
I snapped my fingers and a bunch of Daleks appeared, attempting to blast Discord.
"EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!" Laser bolts flew left and right.
Discord banished the Daleks into nothingness.
I snapped my fingers and a Kenworth lands on him. He counters with throwing more pies and other pastries at me, most of which I devoured.
"Time for me to MOP the floor with you!" I say, snapping my fingers and turning Discord into a mop and literally mopping my floor with him before I snapped my fingers and we left the house.
Discord changes back, spluttering and coughing up dust. "Ergh. Are vehicles, Daleks, and transfiguration the best you can do?" I snapped my fingers, and a paintball Gatling gun out of nowhere. Discord blanched, and the only thing going through his mind was: I should've stayed in bed today.
I picked it up, and I pelted Discord with it. He screamed like a little girl, pissing himself with fear, and by the time the Gatling gun ran out, he was covered with paint. Discord looked like one of those shirts that have a psychedelic paint style on them. It was GLORIOUS . A little fun fact about paintballs: these things hurt like hell. I speak from personal experience. Not too fun of a fact I think.
Now for the big whopper. I snapped my fingers again and I turn into a gigantic mechanical version of my Draconequus form and say in a robotic voice, "ThIs Is ThE BeSt I CaN Do. "
"Weeeell. Horseapples. I had to ask." was the last sentence Discord spoke before being unceremoniously evicted from my pocket dimension. I snapped my fingers and I show up next to Discord, who was positively indubitably frazzled and bruised all over.
"Had enough yet? Or are ya thirsty for more?" I ask. "You don't look so good. That black eye does not look good for your complexion. You should get that checked out by a doctor."
He made a time-out gesture. "I-I give. W-when I visit you next, we should see how powerful you are. Ow. I may need some ice. Oh, and a glass of water."
Discord plopped down on the ground before Twilight and the others found us. Discord was lying down on his back on the grass near the School of Friendship.
He got up and shook my paw before we both broke out into uncontrollable fits of raucous laughter.
"WHAT WERE YOU TWO DOING?! DISCORD!?!?!" Twilight screeches.
"Keep your pants on, Sparklebutt. We fought in my home dimension. We didn't damage anything on the physical plane. At least, I don't think we did." Twilight scowls at me. That was one of my favorite pet names for Twilight, mostly because she hates it but it's accurate, and because I find it amusing to aggravate her. With Discord and I laughing, Twilight started turning a rather horrific shade of puce that clashed terribly with her fur coat.
"You told me to test him Twilight and that's exactly what I did."
"I NEVER SAID THAT! DISCORD! I SAID TO BEFRIEND HIM, NOT ATTACK HIM!!!!" she screeches again, causing me to cover my ears. Wow, that is quite the set of lungs she's got there.
"Oh come now Twiggles, puce really isn't your color." I say off handedly, "Try that lavender you're wearing."
We then broke down into fits of uncontrollable laughter, which only intensified after Twilight threw up her hooves in exasperation and left to go prepare for the new school year. Discord laughed so hard that he passed out. I snapped my fingers and he ended up in his pocket dimension. I snapped my fingers, and I returned to my home dimension.
I looked around to see my house untouched. Good, if he had destroyed my house, I'd have turned Discord inside-out. Although, if I did that, Celestia would not have been happy with me.
I snapped my fingers and the mountain where I blasted Discord fixed itself. The smoking crater from my fight with Discord also filled up with land as well.
Discord popped in to my pocket dimension to help repair some of it too.
"OH, before we forget... let's see how powerful you really are." Discord said as he summoned a meter and held it close to me only for it to spike rapidly and explode.
"Weeeell. That answers that question. Oh, this is so strange."
"What does?" I asked.
"Well, according to the meter, you might be more powerful than me, considering you literally mopped the floor with me, and more than on par with Luna and Celestia."
“That sounds pretty powerful.”
"Indeed." Discord nodded in agreement.
"Oh hey, quick question... actually three, one: How is it that I'm able to use my Chaos magic for good? Two: can draconequui invade each other's personal dimensions? Third: how is it that I'm so powerful magically, even as a draconequus?"
"I think the reason you're able to use your chaos magic is based on your intent." At my confused look, Discord rolled his eyes and continued. "When I invaded your dimension, you thought up some defenses against me, which I'm still healing from by the way, which in any other scenario, would have deterred others, and you persisted in your defense. Furthermore, I believe you can only use your chaos magic for good. Ergo, you can only do good-natured pranks and what not. I'd explain it further, but I'm too lazy to do it, so you'll have to look at other fanfictions for an explanation, although there isn't a right or wrong answer or even a consistent answer. Then again, us draconequui aren't exactly known for being consistent, or making sense for that matter. As for using your powers for fun or just for good, again is intent based. In order to use your chaos magic, you have to mean it to use it. That's how I learned how to use chaos magic when I was your age. You will eventually get a grip on your chaos magic, but don't force it to work for you. It's random and unpredictable and might not always do what you want it to. In answer to your second question, yes draconequui such as myself can invade another draconequus' pocket dimension, but it's not really recommended or necessary. Don't ask why ("Wasn't planning on it."), it's a privacy thing. In answer to your last question, you humans practically radiate chaos first and foremost, which is the case for you, and this power of yours is amplified tenfold because of this. Honestly, it's almost scary. As long as you don't go crazy or anything, you should be fine. OH don't give me that look, you humans are chaotic by nature whether you like it or not."
I nodded sagely. "Well... that's just lazy writing." I could hear a nervous typing author sweating bullets, trying desperately to make up for the lazy writing I called him out on. "I see, now if you don't mind."
"Yes, yes of course. I'll be seeing you much, much later." Discord said before popping out.
"Well. I'll be seeing you." I say, waving to Discord.
"Welp, that happened. Aaaaaaaaaand, you're talking to yourself again, Entropy. Now, what was I doing? Oh yeah." I snapped my fingers and a white draconequus skull appeared on the garage door, completing the redecoration of the house. I took a brief lunch break to replenish my energy. Because I used so much of my chaos magic, it's left me ravenously hungry, thus the spent energy, hence me eating so much.
I snapped my fingers again and made the garage bigger on the inside, but small on the outside without compromising the structure of the house. Another snap of my fingers and the junk inside the garage vanished, making more room. As I did this, I got a headache, clutching my head in my paws as my mind became more organized. I realized I could think a lot clearer.
"And of course, no draconequus is complete without a sweet ride." I snapped my fingers and I summoned a broken down bus. "I think I might have started a trend with this."
The bus's yellow and black paint had long since faded away. The bus had a flat nose and not a whole lot of things going for it. It was extremely boring, but I was gonna give it quite the facelift.
"Don't you worry! Dr. Entropy will make you all better!" I say as a doctor's uniform appeared and promptly vanished as an engineer's outfit took its place.
I used my magic to push the bus into the garage and got to work.
I removed the punctured fuel tank and replaced it with a new one and refueled the bus. I put new suspension on the axles and attached off-road tires. I repainted the bus the same colors as my fur.
Finally, I entered the bus and got to work on the interior. The interior was crap. The floor was rusty, several windows were busted, the upholstery was so tattered it would have made Rarity puke her guts out, and the roof looked like it was about to collapse at any second.
I snapped my fingers and magically expanded the interior to make it big on the inside but small on the inside. I snapped my fingers and two large speakers appeared in my garage. I added a few couches, a dance floor. I also added a gaming area with a large TV screen, complete with the Xbox 360, Xbox One, the Wii, and a container for all of those games. I also added some gaming props for games such as Guitar Hero. I even added a bar for refreshments and sodas.
I hear a distinct *BAMF* and I turned around to see Discord.
"Ooooh. What have we here? A new trend for Draconequui, perhaps?"
"My own personal party bus, but yeah. Sure, let's go with that. Whatever helps you sleep in bed at night." I respond.
"Can I see the inside?" he asks.
"Sure. I'll take you inside in a few minutes. I just need to install these deployable speakers and hook them up to the sound system." at Discord's blank look, I continued. "When I activate them, they deploy and loudly blare out a song of my choosing solely for the purpose of scaring the pants off of ponies."
"Ohohoho! You and I will get along swimmingly!" Discord says jovially.
"What I don't understand is why you painted the bus after yourself?" Discord asks me.
"I painted it in my colors to reflect my personality. And black's a cool color, don't judge me." I say, finally attaching the speakers to the roof and the sides of the bus. To do this, I applied the bigger on the inside, small on the outside trick to the roof and the sides of the bus.
"Now, as promised, I shall show you the inside of the party bus!" Discord and I promptly partied like there was no tomorrow. I whooped his ass in Guitar Hero and we gorged ourselves on soda. Who knew Discord liked Dr. Pepper? I passed out in the lounge area of the party bus and fell asleep. I think tomorrow I'll annoy the Canterlot nobility.
Author's Note
I apologize for the long wait. I decided to take some writing advice and make my chapters as long as I can make them. From here on out, I will endeavor to make future chapters longer. No more short chapters!
And... I'm going to make fun of my own writing while doing it. So sue me.
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Misadventures of a Human turned Draconequus
Chapter 4: Trolling the Canterlot Nobility and what my friends think of me
Celestia's sun rose over the horizon, illuminating the land in its warm embrace. The birds were singing, the roosters were waking everybody up, the clouds were napping, Fluttershy's rabbit Angel was robbing a bank (sounds like a good idea for an FIMfic; someone do it), and no one gives a crap. It was 5:49 AM at the School of Friendship. the wind blew with a hushed howl, brushing against my fur.
I woke up with an extremely wide stretch in the bed of my treehouse in which I made my home. I stretched so much that my head popped off my neck and fell to the floor.
"Ahh crap. This never happened to me before. Hold on a second." I elongated my arms and reattached my head. I look at the clock, which now read 6:00 AM.
"Much better." I went about my routine and I had a breakfast of cheese and grapes.
I played some Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare to pass the time. It's a good game, I dunno why people hated it so much. I decided to magic some more stuff for my treehouse. I need to spruce it up anyways.
I magicked an armory machine from COD: Infinite Warfare as well as a station for the booster rigs. I conjured a Mitchell Electric Guitar with an amplifier. I also had a pod that would heal any injuries I'd sustain in a fight. I pray that I won't have to use it. I also had an electronic device of my own making that would allow me to recreate vehicles from any movie or videogame. In essence, I had the ultimate man cave, or is it draconequus cave?
Well, someone's overcompensating. That's so meta, but hey, meta's what you do best!
"Sure, keep telling yourself that." I muttered angrily.
"HEY! AUTHOR! What're my friends doing?"
Pfft. I dunno. Twilight and the girls are preparing for class, Luna's sleeping in, I have no clue what Starlight is doing, and Celestia's taking a showe-get your mind out of the gutter you pervert! Ugh, honestly. Kids these days. But hey, I'm just the author.
"Thanks Author!" I say.
Whatever helps you sleep at night. Just get back to the story.
"School of Friendship, honestly it sounds so cheesy," I muttered off handedly, the author couldn't help but agree, "they should've just called it Friendship Academy, sounds much better and rolls off the tongue."
With that, I snapped my fingers and vanished in a flash of purple fire, which surprisingly didn't affect me and reappeared in the hallways of the School of Friendship. When I teleport, the fire just tickles me, but to mortals, the fire I disappear in is excruciating.
"Twilight? Can you gather the others? I want to ask you something." I say nervously.
Twilight used the intercom to call the girls to her office.
"We're here darling." (Rarity)
"Problem?" (Starlight)
"What's up dude?" (Rainbow Dash)
"Howdy pardner!" (Applejack)
"Oh, um, hi Entropy." (Fluttershy)
"HEY ENTROPY!" (Pinkie)
"Now that we're all here," Twilight spoke after everyone else sat down, "what's your problem? Is it a friendship problem?" My entire body immediately lost it's vibrant color. I literally turned grey.
"Yup."
"Oh no!"
I raised a paw to cut Twilight off. "Girls, do you think I'm annoying?" Everypony, bar Twilight gasped, surprised I even thought that of them.
"What brought this on?" Twilight asked.
"I kept thinking back to the day we were introduced. I could have made a better impression, but I didn't. Twilight, do you think I'm annoying?"
Twilight responded first. "As much as it pains me to say it... I did. At first, then I realized you just want to be our friends. I was afraid you wouldn't fit in because of what had happened with Discord. I was afraid you'd turn out like him when he was tricked by Tirek or when he turned us into our opposites."
Discord had told me when Tirek tricked him, he regrets it to this day. He tells me that he's more than made up for it. During my stay in Ponyville, I hadn't realized it, but with my magic, I made so many foals happy. At first the town did not trust me, but a large group of foals was brave enough to walk up to me and interact. It made me very happy.
"My fears are baseless, I see that now. Now, when I saw you among our town interacting with the locals, even making a few foals happy, I thought maybe you can be a good friend if you put some effort into it."
"I don't think you're annoying." said Starlight firmly. "If anything, you're relatively new at friendship. But that's okay! We can help fix that." Rainbow Dash nodded in agreement.
"Oh no," Fluttershy said. "not at all. I think you're delightful."
"Absolutely not mister! I especially loved your musical number you did in the second chapter." Pinkie said, jumping up and down.
"Wait, what song? I don't remember a song." I ask Pinkie.
"The one in Chapter 2, silly!"
Everyone just looks at Pinkie, used to her antics. I told them about the show. Pinkie already knows. She scares me. Not that I'd admit it to her face.
"Are you kidding me?!?! You're awesome! And don't let anypony tell you different!" Rainbow Dash pipes up. "We don't care what you are, Draconequus, human or otherwise!" I told them my little secret, in spite of this, they stuck by me.
"I did, at first as well. But, seeing you make Sweetie Belle happy was something I could never do. I've been trying my hardest to make up for it, but it's been hard," Rarity admits shamefully.
I shed a few tears. "Thank you. I don't know what I did to deserve you." My body's vibrant colors returned right away.
My friends engulfed me into a group hug. "By just being you."
Suddenly, I started wriggling around, my cheeks bulging with a fire violently building up within the pits of my throat.
"Well looky here, ain't you a big colt. Can't handle th' least bit o' sentiment!" Applejack said.
"DUCK!!!" screamed Twilight.
"Where? EEP!!!" Fluttershy ducked down.
Finally, I couldn't hold it in anymore, so I belched out a torrent of purple flame as a scroll with the royal seal came out. I started coughing violently, causing smoke to billow out of my mouth.
"Blech. WOW. Now I can cross 'burp correspondence' off of my obscenely long bucket list. I'm NOT doing that again." I say, picking up the scroll and reading it.
"Dear Entropy,
How have you been? I'm inviting you and Discord to help with day court. These snobs are driving me nuts! Can you help me out by dishing out ironic punishments? How you do it is completely up to you.
With love, HRH Celestia. "
Did. Did I read that right? She said she loves me? I never knew. I snapped my fingers and conjured a pen and wrote on the back.
I'll be right there.
I blew fire at the paper and sent it back to Celestia.
"Well girls, I have to go, I'll be back later today."
"Could you show us more stuff from your world?" Twilight asked.
"Maybe tomorrow. I have to go. Helping Celly and all that."
I snapped my fingers and vanished in purple flames.
"He sure has a weird way of making an impression." said Applejack.
"That's Entropy for ya!" Rainbow Dash said with a grin.
"Suuuuper oooodd dude." agreed Pinkie.
"Yes, quite." Rarity said bluntly.
"You do know that I can hear you, right?" I said from far away, startling them unintentionally.
Discord and I reappeared in the throne room, and sure enough, I saw Celestia wearing a fake motherly smile, in front of a bunch of noble ponies, except there was nothing 'noble' about them. This smile was her "I'm going to paint the walls red with your own entrails in a few seconds if I keep putting up with your shit" smile and frankly I wouldn't blame her if she did. We had arrived to make it aaaaaaaaall better.
"OH! Thank the heavens you two are here!" Celestia says with obviously fake exasperation. "Thank the heavens my chaotic saviors arrived."
"What are these, creatures doing here?" one of the snobs said belligerently.
Discord and I snickered. Oh these poor suckers have no idea what's coming them.
Four hours later...
Over the course of day court, I used my magic to throw half of them out the window. Half I gave ironic punishments to, and the other half I left to Discord.
Rich Luxury, a stereotypical snob asked for more money, so I snapped my fingers. Blueblood also wanted more money. Not that I gave them any.
"What did you do to them?" asked Discord.
"Oh Entropy, please tell me you didn't." giggled Celestia.
"Weeell. Let's just say that tomorrow, he and Blueblood will be feeling a little... spent ." I say darkly, my eyes flashed purple for a brief moment. I turned them both into piles of bits. About 95.55% of the nobles asked for more money. Not that I gave them any. I gave most them chests full of chocolate coins.
Discord gave out all sorts of ironic punishments, which ranged from coloring one of the snobs gold. Many ponies thought she was a genuine statue, to turning a pair of snobs into fruits and or poultry. I'd later learn that Blueblood (I refuse to acknowledge him as a prince cause he don't act like it) and Rich Luxury got picked up by different ponies and literally spent. The resulting headlines were hilarious. Later that night, I laughed so hard, I crashed into a lamppost. They’re fine. They turned back to normal the next morning.
Fowl play on his part.
At the end of it, Discord and I were laughing so hard we were dangerously close to passing out. Celestia wasn't fairing any better. She was doubled over, red-faced with laughter as she adjourned the court early.
"OH! OH! Oh, I can't thank you to enough, I haven't had this much fun in ages!"
"Ever?" I ask curiously.
"Of course, could you have imagined how dull it would have been if I hadn't invited you two?" Celestia asks me as she trots away, still laughing. I think she loves me.
She closed the doors leaving me and Discord alone.
"Now what?" Discord asks.
"Prank war?"
"Prank war." (Discord)
Discord popped away to Fluttershy's place.
I decided to do something to Discord that he would absolutely hate.
An evil grin plastered on my face, I snapped my fingers.
"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
"Pfffft! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hilarious!" I cackled, covering my eyes with my paw. Well. Today was fun, but tomorrow's a new day. And a new day means there is more fun to be had!
I pulled out my phone to check news on MLP.
"I'VE BEEN MADE CANON!!!!!!!"
Author's Note
"Hello readers! I'm so glad you've decided to join us!"
"Ah, great. Entropy's gone and possessed my keyboard!"
"Isn't this great? I can communicate with other use-"
"GET OUT OF MY KEYBOARD!"
"Fine! Sheesh! Spoilsport." *BAMF!*