Rainbow Dash gave a deep sigh as she entered her apartment pushing past a rather large wall of rotten flower bundles and love letters, all of which were from the exact same two people.
Tossing a couple pieces of wood into her wood burn furnace, she quickly rushed between it and the door, burning every single letter and flower. She would have to carry out the exact same ritual tomorrow, when those two menaces created another pile of the trash.
She rubbed her face with her hoof as she sat down on her couch next to her answering machine, which beeped showing that she was completely full on messages. She reached over and pressed a button on the machine to hear them, hoping to Celestia that they were from Spitfire, or Soarin or one of her friends, or anyone else!
The first message started: "Hey there Rainbow." The voice of Zephyr Breeze said which instantly worsened her headache. "I hope you got my letters and flowers, I know your playing hard to get but it doesn't take a genius to know you want me, so I booked us a get together at a restaurant in Cloudsdale, hope to hear back from you soon~"
Rainbow Dash sighed and deleted the message and started the next one. "Sup RD, It's me Lightning Dust, just thinking about how much I want to get with you. Hope you got those letters I sent. Especially the one with the picture inside. That rear can be yours if you got your head out of the clouds and came over and fu-"
The Pegasus instantly deleted the message after that. Sure Zephyr was a jerk who didn't take no for an answer, but at least he didn't jump into long disturbing rants about how he would slam Rainbow onto her back and screw her brains out with a strap on.
Lightning Dust was horrible. They both were.
Rainbow spent the next half an hour going though her messages, deleting the dozens upon dozens the two had sent her. There seemed to be no end to them, and no matter what rainbow did, the two called her hundreds of times, every single day.
She even changed her number twice and the two had still somehow tracked her down. As soon as the very last message played, one where Lightning Dust told her, to quote: "Get that dick out of your ass and come down to my place and have real sex with a real woman, bitch!", Rainbow headbutted the end table next to her and screamed.
She brought her head back to slam her head against the table again before she noticed something out of the corner of her eyes. It was a flyer from Zecora she had picked up years ago and pinned to her fridge. She honestly forgot she had put that there.
Rainbow Dash stood up and walked over to it, reading the flyer with great interest.
It said: "Your friendly neighborhood alchemist is here to offer her services. I have elixirs and tonics, potions and poisons. Even a love potion for all of your hits and misses."
Rainbow Dash ignored the fact that Zecora was literally advertising poisons and latched onto one particular detail. She had love potions. An idea sprung into her head.
Why not use one rock to kill two very annoying birds? If she used a love potion to make them fall for each other, they'd be out of her hair forever! Rainbow darkly chuckled to herself and tapped the tips of her hooves together.
"Yes... That would work." She hissed.
Zecora hummed to herself as she mixed together a pink liquid in her cauldron.
"I will admit, I never thought my flyer would be a hit? Who is the lucky creature, that this potion will feature?" Zecora asked Rainbow, who was sitting in the hut's corner.
"I don't want to say." Rainbow answered. "But it's not for me. I'm just trying to get someponies out of my mane."
"Not sure I've heard of a love potion that can do that, but if you think it'll work I won't argue the fact." Zecora said as she grabbed a bottle and dipped it into the cauldron, filling it almost to the brim.
"Do that and fact even rhyme?" The Pegasus asked her, causing Zecora to roll her eyes as she popped a cork into the tip of the dark pink bottle.
"A couple drops from this brew, and those two will no longer bother you. Worry not, it is free as a...." The Zebra was quiet for a couple seconds. "Polka dot?"
"Polka dot?" Rainbow asked which earned a glare from the alchemist.
"Rhyming is hard, you think I have all my answers written on a card?"
"Nope."
"Twice you insulted my chimes. Now the potion is twenty dimes." Zecora asked stretching out her hoof.
"Urg, fine." Rainbow hissed as she fished out a coin purse and dropped it into the Zebra's hoof.
Rainbow sped out of the hut through the front door, holding the potion protectively in her hooves. "This stuff had better work."
She didn't notice Zecora take a second look at her recipe, and notice she had added a bit too much lust flower.
Rainbow chuckled darkly yet again as she poured two drops of the love potion into the drinks she had set out for Zephyr and Lightning Dust. Yes... Yes! Everything was going to go perfection.
She quickly hid the potion away and flew over to her phone, dialing up Zephyr first.
"I am so happy you finally called me back milady." Zephyr said, which caused Rainbow to cringe so hard she almost dropped the phone.
"Hey Zephyr." Rainbow replied, hiding her internal disgust. "I was wondering if you'd like to come over to have some drinks with me and a friend."
"Mmmh, of course I would like to come over and introduce myself to you and you're 'friend'. I'll be over in a couple minutes." Zephyr said before hanging up.
"Oh great, now he thinks it's a three-way." She said to herself, placing a hoof in her hand. She shook her head and dialed up Lightning Dust.
She picked up but didn't say anything.
"Hey Lightning, I was wondering if you'd come over to me-" She was cut off by a knock at her door.
"Hold on." She said as she set the phone down and flew over to her door. The Pegasus opened the door and was instantly shocked when a turquoise and yellow blur barged through the door and tackled her to the ground, locking lips with her.
Rainbow resisted every urge in her body to punch Lightning Dust in the face.
"Knew you'd come through eventually." Lightning whispered to her. "Top or bottom?"
"Neither!" Rainbow cried out, pushing her off. "I just invited you over for a casual get together with a friend."
"A friend?" Lightning asked as she barged past Rainbow and kicked her feet up on the couch, making herself at home. "You want us to have a three-way? Oh you are such a slut!"
Rainbow felt even more like punching Lightning in the face.
The Doorbell rang again, and Rainbow turned to see Zephyr standing before her in a tuxedo, holding some flowers.
"For you." He said handing her the roses which Zephyr had clearly pulled out of his back garden to her.
"Thaaankss…." Rainbow said just as Lightning noticed Zephyr.
"What! A stallion! You hasbian tease! I am out!" Lightning said as she spread her wings to fly out.
Rainbow Dash immediately pulled Zephyr in and slammed the door shut behind her.
"No you're not! This is not a three-way you piece of crap! Sit down! Shut up! And enjoy your drinks or I will knock you the hell out!" The Pegasus screamed.
Lightning's eyes widened and Zephyr quickly sat down next to her. Rainbow stood there breathing heavily for a couple seconds before shaking her head.
"I am going to go fix myself a drink in the other room. If I come back and either of you have left I am going to be really pissed off." Rainbow shouted back as she left the room.
The two other pegasi looked at each other then to their drinks. "B-bottoms up I guess." Zephyr said as he took his drink up.
Lightning did the same, before they both took a swig. Immediately, both of them dropped their cups and stared at each other with hearts in their eyes.
Rainbow smiled as she peaked her head back inside before being rather justifiably shocked by what she saw. In seconds, Lightning had stripped the stallion and locked lips with her, grinding her lower lips against his rod, easily hardening it. The Rainbow Pegasus averted her eyes and darted back into the room as Lightning pulled back and impaled herself onto his rod.
"Oh sweet Celestia! I can't believe I thought I was a lesbian! The real thing is so much hotter!" She moaned as she bounced on Zephyr's dick shamelessly.
Zephyr let his head fall back and moaned loudly. This was so much better than he had ever imagined it would be. He couldn't believe he had ever wanted Rainbow Dash when somepony like this existed.
The light green speedster picked up the pace, rapidly slamming herself into Zephyr so fast that it seemed like she would break his hips. She suddenly stopped after one particularly hard smash and cried out into the air a single word:
"Cumming!" She cried and Zephyr felt her inner walls slam around his dick. The stallion bucked his hips forwards and cried out as well as he emptied his seed into her like an unloading shot gun.
Lightning collapsed onto Zephyr's chest who instinctively wrapped his forehooves around her in a hug as the two came down from their respective orgasms.
Rainbow suddenly peaked her head out from behind her doorframe.
"Are you two done?" She called over to them.
"Yeah..." The delirious pegasi called back.
"Good. Get the hell out of my house!"
