The Assassin that went WRRRRRRYYYYYYYYY!!!!.

by deadmanx513

Rating: mature
Tags: Gore, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Warhammer, Comedy, Other, Suicide / Self Harm, Profanity, Random, Violence, Crossover, Dark, Death, Alternate Universe, Human, Anthro
Length: 1766

the caribou and their allies will see what true insanity is.

Lord Dainn and his posse were just chilling at their secret base, planing on ruling Equestria, until their planes went down in smoke once an insane assassin paid them a visit.

Published 2019-10-15 17:50:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-15 17:50:02 UTC

taking out the Caribou, "Stealthily".

It was a stormy night as the scene pans out to view an old castle placed near the crashing ocean as waves after waves of salty ocean water slammed into the old fortress as if to drag it down into the bottom of the ocean.

And if so, then all the better for nature to get rid of this old fortress, and the ones inside it who planned to bring horror to the lands.

For inside the dank walls of the fortress, a meeting was taking place. A meeting that would spell doom for the proud nation of Equestria and all the neighboring kingdoms.

“So… is everything ready?” began a deep voice. This voice belonging to a bing covered in brown fur, with hooves for feet and, antlers on his head. This being was King Dainn of the Caribou.

He and his people came from their island kingdom to have peace negotiations with the good people of Equestria… or, so how he would want to foolish citizens to believe.

Oh he wanted his and their people to come together but not in the way the rulers of the place think, and the thought of the betrayed and humiliated looks the four princesses faces as he raped them in front of their subject, who would also be forced to service his soldiers.

Oh, the very thought of it almost made him drool as he felt his loincloth getting tighter.

But that could wait, for now, first he needed to get this meeting out of the way, then by morning, he’ll be able to indulge in the pleasure of many new races on these wonderful lands.

“Well,” began one of his fellow Caribou. “We should have everything ready by tonight, and our men should be ready to conquer the closest city before the sun even rises.

“Yesss,” hissed out a scrawny green dragon. “And my men will be ready along with your solders to overthrow that brat Ember. The poison you given us has been working on her father, and he will be too weak to fight when we storm the castle.

A gray griffon stepped forward and spoke. “And my sky pirates will help you as long as we can have a large amount of loot.”

“And as long as I can have Cadance’s brat when she’s older then you have my word your men will have a way to get into Crystal Empire,” promised a red crystal pony.

“Hahahaha!” laughed Dainn. “Excellent, you all have done well, and after we rule these lands we will take seas and enjoy its bounties as we rape those sea ponies!”

This speech caused his fellow conspirators and worriers to all cheer in perverse glee at the thought of all the women they would force into servitude.

Fortunately, their happiness was about to end. because things were about to get…

LOUD!!!

*BOOOM!!!!*

“What was that!?” screamed the scrawny FUCK of a dragon as he nearly pissed himself like the little cunt that he was.

Looking out the window, the Red Pedo of a Crystal Pony nearly shit in his armor at what he saw.

“Oh my god, our army camps are on fire…”

*BOOM!!!*

“What do you mean they’re on fire!?” screamed the gray pelican of a wannabe pirate squawked as he rushed towards the window to see that the camps were indeed on fire… oh, also his stupid-looking airships as well.

*BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!*

“Who’s attacking us!?” Dainn’s lackey screamed as more explosions where heard and a few of them were getting closer!

*BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! TINY BOOM! BOOM!!!!*

“WE’RE DEAD!” screamed a smart Caribou as he decided to commit seppuku and ended his life with his own sword.

“Silence!” Dainn screamed as he tried to keep his (non)existing big dick energy up so he didn’t realize what a big fucking loser he was. “I’m sure whatever is going on will be taken care of, don’t panic!”

And as soon as he said that the explosion seems to stop at that very moment.

‘Holy shit that worked!?’ Dainn thought wide-eyed. But soon noticed the looks he was getting and decided to calm everyone down even further.

“See?” the dick king said with a forced grin. “Everything has been taken care of and we should soon find out who was foolish to-(CRASH!)!!!!”
Bitch Dainn’s little speech was cut short as one of the walls exploded! Causing debris to go flying everywhere and a few bricks even nailed a few assholes in the face or dick.

“What the fuck?” whispered the green dragon cunt as he hid behind the red crystal pony.

And what the fuck indeed as standing at the newly made entrance was a humanoid being dressed in a skin-tight black leather (i think) outfit with straps lining it that had punches and weapons hanging off them. He also wore a gauntlet with long razor-sharp claws on his right hand and held a strange L shaped object in the left. He was also sporting a strange metal backpack that had a long blade hanging on its side and what looked like a speaker on one of its metal staps that was blasting insanely loud metal music! But the most unsettling thing was the fact it was wearing a white skull-like helmet (while somewhere wondering if it WAS its skull) that had glowing red eyes that bore into your FUCKING SOUL!!!

Before anyone could register (or run) what was going on, the strange creature reared back into such a degree that you could hear it’s back crack from the strain as it let out an ear-piercing screech.

“WWWWRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!~”

It then lept at the nearest soldier and sliced his face off, leaving nothing but the bloody remains of what was once a head, but now was nothing but a stump with a waggling tongue and a lower jaw.

Not stopping for a second the leather being jumped to the next poor bastard and rammed his hand through his skull.

“What are you all doing!? Screamed the king as he tried not to piss himself as he sent his men to their doom. “GET HIM!”

As the dumb morons charged at the insane being, said being simply lifted the strange L shaped object (an Executioner Pistol) and open fired into the crowd. Blowing the chunks out of every bastard it hit and the ones not torn apart by the rounds soon exploded from the explosive rounds entering their body.

“Fuck this!” the griffon pirate shouted as he saw the skull masked man tear off a caribou’s arm then impale another one with said arm! “I want to live!”

Too bad for him, this being wasn’t going to let him as it fired a few needles from its Executioner Pistol at the fleeing griffon who screamed as the needles hit and injected their deadly poison into his bloodstream. He soon died from the pure agony he was feeling, as the sweet relief of death was his only escape.

“You bastard!” the red stallion screamed as he tried to throw a punch at the masked being. Keyword TRY. because as soon as he got close the skull man kicked forward. It’s foot slamming into the pedo’s crotch with such force he fell to his knees as blood poured from every hole in his head.

“W-why?” the red stallion cried before his head was ripped off by the insane warrior.

“Nope!” the green dragon screamed as he pushed Dainn’s assistant forward to take any hits as he ran. It didn’t even matter because the assistant died from a few shots from the killing machine’s pistol and he soon followed as a round popped his head like a melon.

Seeing everyone in the room beside him and the leather-clad assassin, the former proud king backed away into a wall as he started to piss himself in fear.

“Please!” he cried to the skull mask-wearing being. As if it would listen…

“You don’t need to do this!” he feebly continued. “Whatever you’re getting for doing this I assure you I can double it! No triple it!”

And as he sputtered about with fake promises, the masked being simply walked towards the crying bitch of a king and lay its gauntlet hand on his shoulder.

Calming down from the friendly gesture, King Dienn smiled with tears going down his face. “Oh thank you! I swear I will pay you with only the best of-!!!” (CRACK!)

Before he could finish with his feeble words the black-clad assassin gripped the king’s shoulder, digging his claws into the shoulder with a sickening squelch. But before he could scream the assassin reared back and SLAMMED his helmet-clad head into the caribou’s face, shattering his snout.

But he didn’t just stop there, no he kept head butting the king repeatedly. Over, and over, and over again until the king’s face looked like a flatted piece of meat with one of his eyeball bearly staying in its socket as it looked at him pitifully. Pleading for him to stop.

He didn’t.

Instead, the assassin pistol-whipped him and rammed its claw hand into the caribou’s gut, making sure it’s entire hand was buried and Dainn could feel every clawed finger wiggle in his lowers intestines and much to the horror of the nearly dead king he felt something else entering his body, POISON!!! It was being injected into his body through the claws of the assassin and it filled his body with near mind-numbing pain that made the king long for the pain in his face to return.

As the king let out a few gurgled words from his blood-filled mouth. The assassin pulled out his hand and let the king fall and bleed out on the floor.

Looking around and seeing no one else around to super murder the assassin let out another screech and ran towards (while flailing its arms around like a moron) and busted through another wall instead of the one it already made, and ran into the forest killing anything or anyone as it made it’s way back to where it was released.

And so the day was saved. Not by some hero or even a stupid magic tree that only did two cool things in the show getting killed off by a shadow pony.

But by a super-enhanced assassin hopped up on military-grade bath salts who was released on this planet by mistake because some dumb ass filed the wrong request form.

Ah well, as Bob Ross once said. There are no mistakes. Just happy little accidents.

END.

Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pywjdJ7P-7o