What can I possibly be missing? Think Rarity, think, think, think!
The unicorn's thoughts were constantly jostled and each one of them brought her back to a place, Sweet Apple Acres. Something she didn't know the origin of, there, had left a permanent mark, an impression of emptiness, in the heart of the fashionista. And that was slowly taking away all the sanity she had left.
Her strange thoughts had been chasing her all the time for a week. A whole week of mental torture that didn't seem to have an end. This day, however, as the discouraged unicorn recalled had shown nothing particular or significant.
For the umpteenth time, she recalled the events of her courteous visit to her charming friend's farm.
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“Hey'ya Rarity! How've ya been?” asked Applejack, dragging behind her a cart full of delicious red and green apples. “It has been a while since ah last saw ya. What're ya doing here?”
The question made the white unicorn smile. She had been away for a while, away from Ponyville and her friends, to supervise the progress of her shops in Canterlot and Manehattan. Then, after three weeks, satisfied with the results, she finally allowed herself to return home to Carrousel Boutique.
“It really has been a long time Applejack! Although I'm a little tired, I'm truly happy to be back, thanks for inquiring dear. As for the reason I'm here, it simply is because I've been tasked with your brother's manecut.”
“Isn't it a thing ya usually do in your boutique?” asked Applejack.
“You're right! But nevermind the details dear” Rarity replied without giving up her smile. “I came here because it's giving me a chance to see you before my work starts pilling up.”
“That's mighty generous of ya” Applejack told her “Ya up for a little break under the trees?”
After an affirmative nod of the unicorn's head they went to lie in the cool shade of the apple trees in the orchard. They took the opportunity to discuss, joke and laugh at the anecdotal episodes that sometimes punctuated their daily lives and added spice to their sometimes boring little routine.
The personalities of Rarity and Applejack, at opposite ends of the spectrum, were often sources of explosive conflict between the two friends. This is what made small moments like this all the more precious as they shared peacefully together in tranquillity and relaxation.
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The apple trees' shadows had largely shifted before Rarity decreed it was time to take care of Big Mac's increasingly long rebellious strands. Applejack and Rarity separated and, while the orange pony set off to the apple baskets scattered among the orchard, the unicorn went in search of her client, whom she found, without any surprises, in the family barn.
The red stallion was at the back of the room, moving heavy crates full of juicy and sweet apples. Their flavours already hinted at the delectable taste of the pies that Granny Smith would be making in the next few days. Not without some restraint, Rarity declined the idea of biting into one of the appetizing red fruits, preferring instead to be patient, remembering that her friend Applejack always offered her a delicious pie every year in appreciation of small services like the one she was about to give back.
Her client still hadn't noticed her arrival, so Rarity issued a timid throat clearing, which was nevertheless enough to draw the stallion's deep green eyes to her, lost through long blond streaks.
“Hi Big Mac. I'm so please to see you” began the unicorn.
Faced with the silence that answered her, the fashionnista felt obliged to continue.
“Shall we begin your manecut, dear?”
“Eyyup” simply replied the stallion in his deep voice.
With a polite smile and an appreciative nod, Rarity flew a small travel compartment she had brought with her for this task and which contained everything she needed to reduce the large disorganized mass covering Big Mac's head.
However, she sighed at the stallion's silence. For her, who loved to share rumors and gossip about the people of Ponyville, she couldn't see how this simple pleasure would be granted to her. She quickly realized that it would be her role to keep the conversation going.
And that's what she did, for three quarters of an hour. She kept Big Mac busy, mentioning the difficulties encountered in Canterlot, the incongruous demands of some of her clients, the love affairs in vogue in the great capital of the kingdom of princesses Celestia and Luna. The thread of her stories were punctuated by very rare interventions, in the form of Big Mac's usual monosyllabic growls.
However, there came some unpleasant moments when Rarity, short of a topic of conversation, could not keep the conversation going, which then fell into a heavy silence, which the unicorn quickly punctuated with comments intended to lighten the heavy atmosphere. An experience she found mentally exhausting, although she did a very good job.
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Once she had put her scissors down, satisfied with the result, Rarity started putting away her kit, appreciating the result of her efforts. She had nothing but praise for the stallion's appearance.
“Big Mac dear, you look absolutly stunning! I'm quite certain this looks will leave some mares speechless.”
Rarity could not suppress a little crystalline laughter at the thought of the reaction Cheerilee would have when she would discover the incredible allure of this stallion for whom it was obvious that she had tender feelings. She was treated to a knowing smile from Big Mac and the surprise of seeing the stallion's cheeks turn an even darker red tone than usual, which she thought was impossible.
Once her task was completed, they returned, together, to the family home under the cover of the dawning night and, on a final goodbye to Granny Smith, Big Mac, Applebloom, and Applejack, who offered her the coveted apple pie, the unicorn took to the road from her shop with a very pleasant sense of accomplishment.
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Since that day, however, a completely different feeling had taken place in Rarity's heart. A feeling of dissatisfaction for which the unicorn did not find the cause, mysteriously certain, however, that the answer to this puzzle was related to this afternoon she had spent at Sweet Apple Acres.
It must be said that Rarity was unable to think about this problem in a relaxed way; her shop was a chaotic place where her slightest thoughts were driven away by the incessant noise of the sewing machines and the incessant babbling of the customers who entered it to come and place orders with her.
In these cases, it was impossible to gather one's thoughts long enough to discover the element related to this unease, the missing element that refused to give her the satisfaction that goes with solving a complex enigma. Moreover, the unicorn's incessant concerns about this mystery had only resulted in giving her an intense migraine that had not left her since.
It was beginning to dangerously draw on her last reserves of patience, threatening to transform the heiress of the element of generosity into a selfish beast whose only concern would be to satisfy, at any cost, her sickly need for curiosity and comfort, even if it meant hurting a few customers in the process.
Before this happened, Rarity promised herself to find the solution to this problem by returning to the original source of the upheaval.
As soon as possible, she thought before she was noisily distracted by the overexcited voice of a customer in ecstasy, in front of one of her dresses, who called her with loud screams to get some information about a now coveted product.
_________________________________________
The last hour before the store closed was a very difficult one for Rarity. The seconds followed one another at such a slow pace that the unicorn could hear, because of her sensitive hearing exacerbated by her migraine, the ticking of each of the gears of the sublime clock that adorned the central room of her shop.
All around her was a chaos of strident sounds, an unbearable cacophony that dragged on for minutes.
Then, finally, the long-awaited deliverance came. On the last noise of the bell on the front door, which closed after the last customer of the day had passed, Rarity pushed the latch without being able to hold a sigh of satisfaction.
Her migraine had reached a peak of intensity she never had before this infernal day. A glance towards the clock told her that she was still a few hours away from her visit to Sweet Apple Acres. Precious hours that she intended to use well to refresh herself, groom herself and heal her horrible affliction.
Unfortunately, before even a single step towards the bathroom, towards the beautifully crafted bathtub and its collection of scented oils and candles, the unicorn's sweet dream was brutally destroyed, shattered, when three thundering blows were heard at the door.
Suppressing a violent desire to cry, the unicorn agreed to open the door, taking only a few seconds to compose a smiling facade, element of generosity obliges.
As soon as the door was ajar, a small familiar shape slipped in. A little white unicorn that shouted out in a deafening high-pitched voice that flayed poor Rarity's ears.
“HI RARITY! HOW WAS YOUR DAY?” Sweetie Belle yelled, unknowingly adding a new level of intensity to her sister's migraine.
“Quite the pandemonium Sweetie”, Rarity told her. Then, advising her sister's questioning gaze, she simplified. “It was very chaotic and noisy. As a result, I feel tired and my headache is getting the best of me.”
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Does that mean we are not going to Sweet Apple Acres tonight?” Sweetie inquired with a touch of aprehension in her voice.
“No, no, no, Sweetie, do not fret, I promise we are still going. I’ve been waiting the whole day to go to Sweet Apple Acres. Princess Celestia herself could not stop me from going there.”
“YAY!” Sweetie beautifully shouted with a thundering cry of joy before seeing Rarity lift a hoof towards her temple, which she began to massage gently. From then on, Sweetie made a small gesture of apology to her sister and continued in a softer voice. “I can’t wait to see Applebloom and Scootaloo, we're suppose to stay up all night. Did mom told you it’s a sleepover?”
Rarity nodded, she indeed remembered having a brief discussion with their mother about it earlier in the week. And although she had a lot of affection for her little sister, the possibility of enjoying a quiet and comfortable evening to treat her migraine had eclipsed Rarity’s desire to keep Sweetie Belle overnight.
Thus, the two sisters each got away with pleasant opportunities and although Rarity's allowed her to grant a purely selfish wish, the unicorn was ready to close her eyes about this detail for this one time.
_________________________________________
After a brief supper spent in a concert of pots, the ringing of the dishes and glasses, the two sisters set off. Rarity, disgusted at the thought of hearing the slightest sound of a knife screeching against the porcelain again, had abandoned the idea of washing the cutlery because of her migraine, which was still so very aggressive.
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They were now in the heart of Ponyville. The central square resonated with a multitude of warm conversations, all carried by classical music from a chic restaurant whose large glass doors, opening onto the street, revealed a scene featuring a quartet led by the famous Octavia herself.
Although this kind of music was usually on the unicorn's melodic chart and she would normally have liked to take a break to greet some of the ponies present, Rarity, sensitive to the haunting pain in her skull, preferred to hurry along the path in order to cross the busy district of the village as quickly as possible.
The atmosphere was a little too lively for the beginning of the evening according to Rarity's taste.
Sweet Celestia, Rarity thought. Look at me, I used to love this kind of things. This headache is getting the best of me. I hope everything will be resolved soon.
To make matters worse, it was when she arrived at the edge of the village that Rarity was called by the last person she wanted to meet under the circumstances that were overwhelming her. It began with a scream that pierced the nascent twilight, in the first place, and then the unicorn's eardrums.
“RARITYYYYYYYYYY! WAIT FOR ME RARITYYYYYYYYYY!”
Rarity closed her eyes in pain and then, with a sigh to which Sweetie Belle was the only witness, she recomposed herself a smiling facade before turning around towards the pink ball of chaotic energy that was running towards her at a mad speed.
“Hi Pinkie Pie” she greeted her as soon as her friend had stopped her cavalcade. “What a lovely surprise to see you. Tell me dear, how can I be of assistance?”
The remark seemed to please Pinkie, who started off with a loud laugh before addressing Rarity.
“Don't be silly Rarity, I don't need your assistance, I need your presence. Since you have returned from your trip from Canterlot, you still haven't come to visit me.”
Then, faithful to her explosive temperament, Pinkie took up again with a piercing voice that made Rarity and Sweetie Belle's teeth grind.
“BUT NOW YOU'RE HERE! COME WITH ME! I CAN THROW YOU A PARTY IN NO TIME! JUST WATCH ME, I ONLY NEED SOME BALLONS AND ALS...”
Her invitation was cut short when Rarity put a hoof on her muzzle and shook her head negatively.
“Sorry dear, it will have to wait another day” she apologized. When she advised the sulking mine of the pink pony, she rushed back. “I haven't been feeling well since my last trip to Sweet Apple Acres so I was hoping to go there and find some clue about this uneasy feeling.”
“Oh!” Pinkie replied before taking a step towards Rarity with a worried expression. “Are you hurt?”
“It's only a headache dear, but quite the strong one I must say. Now if you'll excuse us, Sweetie Belle and I must be on our way. She's expected to a sleep-over and I would hate for her to be late.”
On a last greeting to Pinkie, the two sisters left to face the last moments of the twilight, on the road towards Applejack’s farm. But after sketching a few steps, Pinkie joined them at a gallop to make a request to Rarity.
“Can I come with you girls? I haven't seen AppleJack in ages... well, not in ages cause that would be silly but more like 2 weeks. To be more precise, that would make 23 184 minutes as of no...”
“Pinkie” Rarity stopped her without being able to hold back a small laugh that slightly revived her migraine. “Of course you can come with us. I'm sure Applejack will be delighted to see you. And you can keep me company while I'm looking for the thing that is making me feel uneasy.”
“Great, I can't wait to get there!” exclaimed Pinkie, who took her leaping step to walk alongside the two sisters.
_________________________________________
The journey to Sweet Apple Acres was a most painful episode for Rarity, whose every word exchanged with Pinkie revived the eternal migraine she was suffering from. And even if it was just that....
As the path to Sweet Apple Acres waned, Sweetie Belle's enthusiasm grew and so did her propensity to express her excitement loudly. The way she told Rarity, it would be a whole night of various activities awaiting Applebloom, Scootaloo and her. Rarity was already pitying poor Applejack who had decided to chaperone the trio.
Not having the heart to ask her two companions to keep their voice down, she had endured the constant pulsation that twisted her skull and it was with relief that she laid her eyes on the landscape that opened up to her on the top of a small hill. A few leagues away, under the rising stars, stood Sweet Apple Acres' farm.
_________________________________________
“SWEETIE BELLE! WE'RE HERE!”
The cries of joy of Applebloom and Scootaloo added to the tumult of sounds that constantly assaulted Rarity's sensitive ears.
Rarity, Pinkie Pie and Sweetie Belle had just crossed the threshold of the kitchenette to announce their arrival that Sweetie Belle's two friends were already running to welcome her with loud screams.
They were soon joined by the rest of the Apple family, Applejack, Big Mac and Granny Smith to whom Pinkie went to give them a sincere family hug. After all, the Apple family had accepted her as one of them. For a few minutes, the kitchenette was filled with laughter and a happy hubbub.
The scene was certainly touching, but Rarity was ready to beg for a moment's respite. She felt on the edge of the abyss, the pain being more present than ever and she felt a poignant nausea.
Fortunately Applebloom and her two friends quickly disappeared and went up to the upper floor, probably to start the first activity of a very long list. So there was only Applejack, Big Mac, Pinkie Pie, Rarity and Granny Smith left in the room, the latter being busy filling jars with applesauce for the coming winter months.
“Ah'm so happy ta see ya girls! Can ah interest ya'll in a cup of cider?” offered Applejack.
“Of course Applejack!” accepted Pinkie with obvious enthusiasm.
“I wouldn't mind either, dear” Rarity adds. “That might actually be a good remedy for my headache.”
“Ya're not feeling well, Rarity?” inquired the orange filly after handing out two pints of cider to her guests.
“She's been feeling that way since her last visit here” Pinkie told her between two sips.
Rarity reassured Applejack with a gesture of her hoof.
“It's nothing that you should concern yourself with dear, but I was hoping you would let me explore your farm for a little while just to see if something would spark a memory and explain the strange feeling I've been having this whole week.”
With that, without even worrying about her image as a perfect young lady, Rarity brought the cider mug to her lips and emptied it all at once. The freshness of the drink and its alcohol content both helped to relieve some of the pressure that the migraine was putting on her brain.
She stretched her glass in the direction of Applejack and Pinkie who were staring at her, stunned.
“Applejack, can I be selfish enough to ask you for a second serving, please?”
“Sure, Rarity. Wow... Ah never saw ya drinkin' like that, that headache must be som'thing!”
“You have no idea,” Rarity whispered to herself.
_________________________________________
After a few mugs, Rarity declared herself ready to start her research around the property but found that Pinkie had taken more than her share of cider, about three times more than Rarity, and was no longer in a position to accompany her on their nightly adventure. Indeed, Pinkie had fluttering legs and Applejack had to support her.
“Ah'm sorry Rarity but Pinkie's out for t'night” Applejack apologized.
Rarity told her in a gesture that she didn't take umbrage of that. But she could not see herself supporting Pinkie throughout her search. She was gladly leaving Pinkie in the care of her friend.
Meanwhile, Big Mac approached the table with an oil lamp that Applejack had asked him to fetch and gave to Rarity to facilitate her search.
“Big Mac, go with her would ya. Ah don't want her ta hurt herself or som'thing.”
Big Mac acquiesced, took the lamp between his teeth and came to face Rarity. True to himself, he did not speak. Rarity opened her mouth ready to contest at the idea of bothering Big Mac for a thing so insignificant before she closed it, keeping quiet, embarrassed at the thought of confessing her relief. She could not deny that Big Mac suddenly appeared to her as a silent protector who would help her to face the darkness of the orchard. Charmed, Rarity could only produce a little whisper of thanks.
The pause between them lasted forever and it was Pinkie who put an end to the silence that bound them. Leaning on Rarity's side, she came to curl up against her and whisper in her ear with a warm and alcoholic breath.
“Hey Rarity, I think I've just understand something,” she cooed ever closer to her friend's ear. “Tell me how was your headache right now?”
The mix between alcohol, Pinkie's proximity and her warm breath in her ear and neck prevented Rarity from concentrating well, but after an extreme effort, she opened her eyes under the effect of a surprising revelation.
“It's... less strong” Rarity whispered, in the same tone as Pinkie. “How is that possible?”
“You have to go with Big Mac and figure it out yourself, girl.” said Pinkie with a wink.
Disturbed, Rarity faced Pinkie looking for an answer in her friend's eyes and smile.
“Figuring what out?” Rarity began, uncertain if she really wanted to know what her pink friend was implying.
Pinkie let out a little laugh.
“I can't tell you that silly, speaking about it will definitly ruin it. Now go with him and experience it.”
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Speaking about it will definitly ruin it. Now go with him and experience it...
Rarity was mortified. These were the last words that Pinkie had slipped into her ear before Applejack came to her rescue to take their friend to a room upstairs. Haunted by Pinkie's words, Rarity vaguely remembered promising Applejack that she and Pinkie would share her room for the night when she returned from her night quest.
However, since she had ventured into the night, with Big Mac at her side, she had kept quiet, unable to address a simple word to the stallion walking beside her. Rarity could no longer deny the beneficial effect she felt at his side. Her headache had almost completely disappeared as soon as she had spent a few minutes with him.
Pinkie had not lied, the stallion was a real balm for her injury but she was now wondering what price her remedy would cost. Rarity was far from naive and Pinkie's understatement was full of meaning.
She should... with Big Mac...
She shook her head to chase away the improper images forming up in her mind. Although it was dark and cold in the orchard, she felt warm on her cheeks and her heart was on fire. She had an important decision to make and did not feel ready to go through with it.
Oh of course, Big Mac had a pleasant physique, appreciated by many young ladies in the village of Ponyville and Rarity was ready to aknowledge he had a certain charm. However, she did not have feelings strong enough to justify a... relationship like the one Pinkie seemed to suggest to her.
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Lost in thought, the last thirty minutes had passed far too quickly and the silent unicorn realized that her steps had led her to the last place left to visit, the barn.
The time for choice had come and if Rarity was to choose this path, the barn would prove to be suitable for the coming act, it was even a bit romantic the unicorn could not help but think.
After crossing the threshold, however, a very normal apprehension surrounded her heart. Suddenly, she felt ready to endure the pain of a migraine rather than lose part of her being in that barn. She was scared, she wasn’t ready yet. Not under these circumstances, not without love.
She would not be able to go all the way and, unconsciously, took a step backwards to get out but ran into Big Mac's chest. She held her breath and turned around to him with a clumsy smile to apologize. Not a word came out of her mouth, not even a moan.
She refused to break the last protection offered by her silence.
Then came the enlightenment.
Brilliant and pure.
Rarity let out a melodious laugh filled with sincere joy and relief. Her fears and doubts disappeared along with her migraine. She had just understood Pinkie's mysterious words and now she knew why the stallion had such a soothing effect on her. It was so simple and naive that Rarity hadn't even thought about it, but she had to admit that Pinkie was right and that only Big Mac was able to give her the full experience.
Speaking about it will definitly ruin it. Now go with him and experience it.
The Silence.
It was impossible to talk about it without breaking it.
Throughout their exploration, Big Mac had never talked, but only played his role as a silent and stoic guardian. Rarity had not said a word either, so the healing virtues of silence had played their part and eclipsed Rarity's migraine.
It was the first time that Rarity experienced silence in all its splendour, in the barn of a silent farmhouse, under a starry vault, while everything around was calm and asleep.
Soothed, Rarity could not help noticing how deafening silence around her was, putting pressure on her ears and heart, a reassuring pressure capable of isolating her from the strident cacophony of daily life.
Closing her eyes with delight, Rarity felt in tune with a universe whose hidden potential she was barely discovering. She let herself be overwhelmed by the emotion of well-being in which she was immersed. She could never have thought that silence would produce such a beautiful and pure sound. For her, who had grown up in the midst of gossip and conversation, the satisfaction of always participating in the many discussions now seemed futile in the face of the relief of a moment of silence of her own, cut off from all the eternal distractions of life.
On that evening, she was having a magical, wonderful time. Rarity knew she had received an unusual and unexpected gift that she enjoyed every precious second.
A part of herself evolved in this modest barn. Rarity, the diva eager for gossip and secrets, the fashionnista who always wanted to be aware of the latest rumours and always wanted to discuss everything and nothing at every little moment of leisure, had just discovered the value of silence.
An invaluable treasure and a wonderful adventure that she intended to experience again.
_________________________________________
When she opened her eyes, Rarity could not have told how long her experience had lasted. How many seconds, minutes or hours had she spent under the wooden beams, with her eyes closed, experiencing new emotions?
She noticed Big Mac who was still standing by her, silent. She knew she would not get an answer from him and, for once, she would not try to get a word from him. She smiled at him, now realizing how golden the silence is. She understood.
And, in his eyes, she knew that he too understood what was happening to her. In a few seconds, without exchanging a single word, they communicated at a more intimate level than any word could ever reach. They were united by a unique experience, which had forever changed part of their personality.
It was with regret that she forced herself to break the tangible magic of silence. At least her voice didn't sound discordant.
“Thank you Big Mac,” she said quietly, trying to preserve the peaceful atmosphere of the barn. “I found what I've been looking for... What I've been missing. It's time for us to go back now.”
The stallion nodded to show his agreement, and both went away again to face the starry darkness of the orchard. The silence that surrounded them no longer made Rarity uncomfortable as before. She rather found comfort in the silence of the stallion who walked beside her.
The Apple family's house was completely quiet when they arrived in the kitchen. With a final look and a smile from Rarity, they split up to go back to their respective rooms. Big Mac went into his own while Rarity went to Applejack's who had probably made her a cozy and comfortable bed.
On the way, she noticed Applebloom's room with its door ajar. A glance inside allowed her to see that Applebloom and her two friends had been defeated by sleep while they were drawing.
Rarity was moved by the tenderness of the scene and, with the help of her magic, picked a blanket on Applebloom's bed to warmly cover the three friends who were sleeping on the floor. She then proceeded to Applejack's room.
Once inside, she made as little noise as possible to get to the cot she would share with Pinkie, who was already dozing off slowly.
But her efforts did not bear fruit because Applejack's drowsy, whispering voice was heard in the dark.
“Did ya find what ya were lookin' for Rarity?”
“I did,” Rarity replied briefly in the same tone. “I feel better now... And thank you for letting me stay here for the night. I appreciate your kindness.”
“No problem Rarity. Ah'm glad you found the thing you were searchin' for. And Goodnight.”
“Goodnight dear,” Rarity whispered back to her, although she wasn't sure Applejack heard it before she fell asleep again.
Slipping gently into the bed next to Pinkie, she was surprised when the pink pony embraced her in a hug full of affection.
“I'm happy you're feeling good now. I really, really wished I could have told you sooner why you had this feeling but I couldn't, you know?”
Thinking back to the anguish she felt when she misinterpreted Pinkie's mysterious sentence, Rarity could not prevent a discreet laugh from escaping her lips.
“I know Pinkie. Now go back to sleep and let's be quiet.”
“Okay. Goodnight Rarity,” Pinkie whispered, clinging a little more to Rarity in a friendly embrace.
“Goodnight dear,” whispered the unicorn before hugging her back and falling almost instantly asleep.
Once again, silence extended its coat of serenity over Rarity to protect her in the heart of the darkness of the room.
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed this story.
It's a remember that we all need some time in peace in quiet and I feel that Rarity is most likely one that never had that.
That's what inspired this story.
Also I don't have an editor so I do all of this on my own.
Please if you see some errors, let me know.
Thank you.