Author's Note
I really don't know where this came from but I kind of rolled with it.
It's not too religious since this is told from four year old Shiny's POV. Just mentions of angels and heaven.
I put this as AU because I kind of considered it alternate to my universe canon in some ways, not necessarily because it could be alternate from the show itself (although it could be interpreted as that too.) just so y'all know.
Hope you all enjoy the feels!
Heaven's Tears
My Mama is the smartest, prettiest Mama in the whole wide world.
Mama has the most beautifullist face in the world, and her laugh is better than chocolate. She gives me kisses and hugs that make me feel nice, and she’s never mean. I met some colts at the park once who weren’t real nice. They left owies on other colts and Mama made sure I left there so I wouldn’t get hurted.
Mama writes. She writes stories all day long and tells me stories all the time. We have story time before bed every night. And just before I go night night, she whispers that there’s angels watching over me. I asked her once while I was up what angels were. She said they’re magic like unicorns but without the horns, and they had wings like Pegasuses. She told me they’re always nice and really prettiful.
I never told Mama, but I’m pretty sure she’s my angel.
She told me little things ‘bout angels sometimes. She said there’s a place called heaven where angel ponies and other ponies are always happy that’s so far up in the sky even the Pegasuses can’t reach. I dunno how I feel about it, ‘coz I don’t like things in the air. But she says also that sometimes when it rains and you can’t see clouds, that’s when heaven cries, and angels cry. Heaven’s tears, she says.
I never seen an angel cry before. Mama says they only cry when it rains. But I’m s’posed to be sleeping tonight, and I’m hearing crying. Daddy isn’t here tonight. Mama said at dinner he wouldn’t be home ‘till tomorrow ‘coz he has work. But Mama doesn’t cry. I never seen it. Maybe an angel is crying in the house.
I never seen an angel other than Mama, but now I really wanna. My bed is all messy anyways, ‘Coz Mama says I’m a tornado in bed, with sheets all over. I look at Brutus on the bed, and wonder if he wants to see the angel. Brutus talks to me, and says yes. So I pick him up, and we set on our adventure.
Mama said angels glow kinda. She says it’s like how our horns glow but it’s their whole body. I dunno how that works really, but I should prolly ask Mama. I think an angel glowing would light up the hall all bright. But no, there’s no glow. The hall is dark and kind of scary. I don’t like the dark- it makes me all spinny and my hooves get trippy-uppy. The dark scares me, but I wanna be brave, ‘coz I wanna see the angel more than I wanna go back to bed. So, I get down on my tummy and wiggle, wiggle, wiggle forward so that I don’t get spinny in my head. It kinda works.
The crying is getting closer. I can’t see real good, but I think it’s Mama and Daddy’s room door. I feel around. There’s the door, but it’s not movin’. Maybe the crying is still in there but ‘coz the door is closed so it’s makin’ it quiet? Like when I sucked my hoof when I cried to make me quiet. That sounds right.
I make myself stand up. Brutus is on my back, and almost falls off, but I catch him. He says thanks, and I tell him he’s welcome but on mute. Then, I feel around for Mama and Daddy’s door opener. I feel it, and I use it to open it.
I almost trip. Mama and Daddy have a rug in their room, bigger than ten of me, and it’s kinda curly at the side. I don’t fall down though, ‘coz I’m a ninja. I was right. The crying is in here. But there’s no glow. So who’s crying?
Mama and Daddy’s bed is big, but I been in here lots of times when I have bad dreams, so’s I know how to get up there good. When I get up there, the bed is all shaky. There’s a lump in the bed, but I know who it is. I can smell Mama’s perfume. Mama’s crying.
I never seen Mama cry. And Mama’s an angel, and she told me angels don’t really cry. Mama’s crying Heaven’s tears. But it’s not raining, so why? I crawl up to her and tappy tap tap her.
“Mama?"
She sits up and makes a gaspy noise. I think I scared her. But Mama doesn’t get scared. She reaches all around and turns on the lamp by her that makes the room all lit up- woosh. Lamp makes it all bright, and now I see Mama is crying. It’s the most scary sad thing I ever seen.
“Shiny? What are you doing up?”
“I heard angels crying, Mama.” I say. “Was it you?"
Mama looks at me. I dunno what she’s thinking. She makes this one face when she doesn’t want me to know what she's thinking, and she’s making it. Then, she makes a long sigh noise.
“It was me.”
“Were you sad?” I ask. I never knowed Mama could get sad.
“Yes, I was sad.”
“Why?"
“Mama was just thinking about something."
“What?” I dunno what made Mama so sad, but I wanna know so I can make her not be sad no more.
Mama’s quiet. I’m sitting close to her so that she knows I’m there. She’s so quiet I can hear her heart going boom boom boom in my ears. I like the sound. It makes me happy, but also kinda sleepy. I have to make myself stay up ‘coz Mama needs me.
“Do you remember when you were smaller and I told you a story about how you came out of my tummy?” Mama says after a long time.
I don’t the first second, but then I do. “I was kicking you from the inside and then I came out and I needed all the tubes.” I say.
“Well, there was a baby in Mommy’s tummy before. The baby was a girl.” She says.
I’m doing a big think and my brain is being all mean and not letting me think right. “There was a tummy baby before me?”
“Yes, Shiny. She would have been your big sister.”
That I understand. “Where is she?”
“She died. She came out of my tummy, but she didn’t breathe.”
I’m still thinking hard. “Why?”
“I don’t know, Shiny. Sometimes we don’t get to know why."
“Is she in heaven?”
Mama smiles. “Yes, Shiny. I think that’s where she is.”
“Is she an angel?”
Mama nods. “That’s what I like to think.”
“Angels are ‘apposed to be happy, right?"
“Yes.”
“Then why are you crying, Mama?”
Mama looks at me for a second, and then gives me the most beautifullest smile, but then it goes away. “Mama was thinking about her and something else.”
“What?”
Mama looks at me. “There’s a baby in Mama’s tummy right now. Mama doesn’t want that baby to go to heaven too.”
That’s the most amazing thing I ever heared. “Baby is in your tummy right now?” I ask.
“Yes. But don’t tell Daddy yet. Mama hasn’t gotten to tell him. This has to be our super special secret, Shiny.”
“‘Kay Mama. I promise I won’t tell.” I say. When I promise something, I mean it.
“Thank you.” She says.
“Mama?”
“Yes, Shiny?”
“Are angels happy in heaven?”
“Yes, they are. Why?”
“‘Coz if they’re happy, how come you’re sad for baby sister? You can’t be happy she’s happy? She prolly doesn’t like seeing you sad from there.”
Mama looks surprised, and then she gives me a smile and a big hug. She gives me two kisses. “Shiny, you’re wonderful."
“Why I’m wonderful?”
Mama smiles. “You were just born that way, and you’ll stay that way your whole life.”
I smile at Mama and give her hugs. “Are you not sad no more?"
She shakes her head. “Not anymore.”
I grin. I did it! I made Mama happy ‘gain! It makes me all wiggly inside but I like Mama hugging me so I don’t move.
“Mama, angels need their tears to make things grow. You told me. They can’t use them on a pillow.” I say.
I made a funny I think, ‘coz Mama laughs and gives me a kiss. “I guess you’re right.”
“No more heaven’s tears?” I ask.
“No more heaven’s tears.” She promises. I know she’ll keep it and not be sad anymore, ‘coz she doesn’t want me or baby sister to be sad, or new baby too.
I snuggle with her and she smiles, petting my mane nice. “My Shiny Snuggler.”
Her pets feel so nice, and make me all sleepy. “Can I sleep with you, Mama?”
Mama gives me a big smile. “Of course you can.”
“Brutus too?”
“Brutus too."
We snuggle up in bed, and I get under the blankies. They weigh more than me, but I’m curled up with Mama and can hear the boom boom boom of her heart. It makes me sleepy, but it’s my favoritest place in the whole world, so I don’t wanna move.
Mama gives me a kiss. “Nighty Night, Shiny."
I yawn. “Night night, Mama.” I say, and cuddle her and Brutus.
Mama turns out the light, and we fall asleep together.
