Ponyville Goes Bald

by Alex Warlorn

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Twilight Sparkle (EqG), Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Zecora, Equestria Girls, Spike (EqG), Trixie, Comedy, Random
Length: 4495

Everypony in Ponyville loses their fur, tail, and manes.

Everypony in Ponyville is naked! ... Okay, that's nothing new. But everypony's fur and feathers are falling out! What is the source of this evil? What twisted mind could have unleashed this on innocent Ponyville? And what hero shall rise to the challenge and save Equestria from embarrassment and indignity?

Story by:
ItsfromPeople
MtangaLion
ardashir
Alex Warlorn
Frozen-Doopliss

Image by AleximusPrime with permission.
https://www.deviantart.com/aleximusprime/art/Some-blank-ponies-346348481

MLP:FiM Copyright Hasbro

Adios Amigos.

Published 2019-10-18 22:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-18 22:10:01 UTC

to the bare truth

Spike woke up on a beautiful early morning in Ponyville, until he heard Twilight scream! Spike rushed to  ~~his mommy's~~ her aid!

He skidded to a halt, finding Princess Sparkle... bald... her feathers and fur having fallen off during the night.

"TWILIGHT?! WHAT HAPPENED?"

"I don't know! ... But I'm certain magic isn't to blame!"

"Yippie! Now we're all pink ponies!" Pinkie Pie pranced in from nowhere as naked as Twilight.

"Pinkie Pie?! You too?!" Spike gasped. "Is everypony-... oh no."

"When I find out who is responsible for this... I'LL KILL HER!" Rarity's voice rattled glass across Ponyville.

Twilight asked, "How does Rarity know that a female is responsible?"

Rarity answered, "Ponyville is like 80% female, it is an educated guess. Also: MURDER DEATH KILL!!!!"

The mares discovered things at the friendship school were no better.

Sandbar yelped, "I need sunscreen! Do we have screen!?"

Yona hide in her blankets, shivering. "Yona doesn't feel so good."

Pinkie Pie observed, "Hey, like that, you remind me of that super fluffy fuzzy pony whose always trying to redeem Chrysalis that time she lost all her fur!"

Ocelus said,  "Suddenly... I'm good with my candy-colored changeling chitin. Yeah!"

Silverstream yelped, "Eeep!" She changes to her unaffected false seapony form, dived into a pool, and refused to come out.

Gallus looked like a cross between a sphinx cat and a plucked chicken. "Not! One! Word!"

Spike said, "I sure am glad that scales aren't affected." He tapped his claws on his super-tough dragon scales.

Rarity zoomed over to Twilight grabbing, her. "Make me a dragon, make me a dragon!"

Twilight exasperated, "Haven't we dealt with that nonsense enough!?"

Rarity huffed, "Well, I never!"

Sweetie Belle called, "Psst! Rarity! Remember how our hooves get pruny in the tub?" Sweetie splashed in the pool beside Silverstream, showing off her tailfin.

Rarity sighed. "Oh! Destiny calls, I suppose!" Rarity jumped in too.

Spike asked, "Twilight? Is there such a thing as a sea dragon?"

Twilight sighed. "At this point Spike, I've run out of things that aren't supposed to exist... Now let's find out the NON-MAGICAL reason for our fur and feather going missing."

"Ah'm gonna sizzle like an egg on the sidewalk like this!" Applejack lamented, she'd do her job no matter what, but even she wasn't looking forward to the inevitably sunburn.

"MY WINGS!" Rainbow Dash wailed. "I can't practice stunts with Soarin' like this!"

"There there..." Scootaloo patted Rainbow Dash's hoof.  

"Time to do some knittin' for everypony!" Apple Bloom declared boldly.

"I'll help," Fluttershy offered, the sight of her got a yelp.

"Fluttershy! Is that you?!" Apple Bloom gasped.

"I don't understand it myself, when my feathers fell out, this happened," Fluttershy said looking at her batwings.

As for Discord... all his feathers and fur fell out, and he sighed, snapping his fingers to grow new feathers and fur... again. And the cycled repeated. "You should probably hurry. Luna doesn't deal with being laughed at very well."

"Welcome Ponyville! Your goddess of the night has come yet again to-... what is this draft?"

*A few minutes later*

Nightmare Moon bellowed, firing lasers from her eyes. "Heathens! Heretics! You dare mock the night?! Have at thee!"

"Good thing Luna isn't due to visit until tonight!" Princess Twilight said quickly pulling herself out of the imagine spot with a uncomfortable grin. "We'll solve this in half an hour no problem!"

+++

"That's a relief!" Sci-Twi said.

Human Rarity asked, "Darling, is that new Zebrafrican lotion ready yet? I want to look my best for my blind date Mr. Gillspotten Heathspike." True, dating someone you met online was typical the definition of foolish, but he was so culture, and they'd be meeting in a completely public place in the middle of the day with her friends nearby, so there was no worry.

"Well," Sci-Twi said awkwardly. "I might have tried to improve on Zecora's formula... and the device might have been overheating... and I realized the resulting chemical mix might have resulted in baldness for everyone in the city limits... but thankfully I realized there was a perfect place to dump it, I mean contain it."

Sunset asked darkly, "Twilight, what did you do with it?"

Meanwhile, just around the corner, Spike the Usually a Dog was all dragoned-up, and wearing a trench coat and fedora. The muscular bipedal dragon wrung his claws, pacing. "Okay... relax... it's only a date with Rarity! Just play it cool Spike, you got this!"

Shining Armor the human groaned, facepalming yet again "That 'disguise' isn't fooling anybody, you know."

"What are you talking about?" asked Spike. "This disguise always worked for the Strange Young Samurai Reptiles!"

Shining Armor looked at Spike. He opened his mouth to say something, and just facepalmed again.

"Spike, that's a movie, not real life."

At that moment Sour Sweet rounded the corner. "Oh, former class president Shining Armor! Hi!" Sour Sweet smiled. For a moment. "It's so great to see you again -- even if you pretend you never knew us now," her voice sank to its usual snarl. At least she was on her medication. She looked at Spike. "Oh. Who's your friend?"

Shiny looked frantic as Spike said in a faked sophisticated accent, "Uh, I'm Mister Gillspotten Heathspike, young missus. A pleasure to meet you!" He bowed over her hand and kissed it.

Sour Sweet smiled in delight. "Well at least there are some gentlemen left." She grumbled, "A few guys could take lessons from him." She walked off, holding her kissed hand with the other as though delighted at a gift.

Spike just smirked at Shining Armor.

"Fine," Shiny muttered. "It works."

+++

Princess Twilight said, "Huh, a buzzing from Sunset's journal? ... 'Dear Princess Twilight, have there been any hair related incidents on your side of the portal in the last twenty-four hours? No reason. Just curious.' "

+++

A moment later Princess Twilight stood on the other side of the portal, human and completely hairless. Her eyes were alight with fury as she yelled, "EVERYPONY BACK HOME IS LOSING THEIR HAIR AND FEATHERS! Sunset, what do you know about this?!?"

Sunset gulped. "Uh! Well, our Twilight may have been experimenting with an instant depilatory, and when it proved a little too potent she dumped it through the mirror gate."

Princess Twilight spun on Sci-Twi. "You just dumped something so dangerous into another dimension without thinking? What does that make you?"

Sci-Twi shrugged. "As bad as everyone in your world who kept sending supervillains, monsters, and dangerous artifacts to our world?"

***

Meanwhile, back in Equestria, the instant hair-b-gon was getting stronger.

Spike ran shrieking past ponies like oversize chihuahuas. "AHHH! I'm molting ahead of schedule! I have scale leprosy!"

Smolder shook her head. "Yeesh, Spike. don't ya know anything? There's no such a thing as scale leprosy --" She sneezed. A moment later she ran after Spike. "YAAHH! He was right! My scales! My beautiful, beautiful scales!"

***

Princess Twilight's response was to drag Sci-Twi through the portal. "You caused this problem, you're going to help fix it!"

"HELP!" Sci-Twi said, Princess Twilight proving she'd learned to use her magic in the human world too.

Sunset Shimmer said, "Sorry, you brought this on yourself."

"Good luck dear!" Rarity waved. "Be sure to tell me everything after I finish my date with Gillspotten!"

"Hey!" shouted the Spike from the human world (not being recognized by Rarity). "What's gotten into you?" He tried to follow his Twilight through the portal, bonked his head, then shook it off and ducked down to get through.

+++

On the other side, a very itchy Spike the Dragon skidded to a stop, gaping at himself... with a body that would have made *Garble* jealous. "Oh, come on! Why does dog-me look like that now?!"

"Because I want to?" said the human-world Spike, grinning and wiggling his claws. "I can do so much more stuff like this, and..." He started scratching. "Uh oh... do dragons get fleas?"

"They're called scalemites, and they're lava resistant, and technically they're kinda harmless, but 'civilized' dragons like to get rid of them all the same... but what's causing this is what YOUR Twilight did!"

"AHHHHH!!!! NOW I'M DOUBLE NAKED!" Sci-Twi shouted as her fur fell out.

"AND YOU BETTER HELP ME WITH A CURE RIGHT NOW!" Princess Twilight snorted.

Princess Twilight dropped her still-a-unicorn counterpart down in front of her lab. "Okay. Here's everything you can possibly need to fix this problem. Get to work!"

Instead Sci-Twi ran back and forth, gaping in awe at the gear Princess Twilight had. "Wait, you have magical equivalents of spectrometers, electron microscopes, and," she gasped and pointed a hoof. "Wait, is that a hadron collider?" As she ran towards it she passed a blackboard. "Huh? 'Artificially induced alicornification and ryujin-ification...'" She yelled as Twilight quickly dragged her back to the table with the formula for the out of control shampoo.

"Less poking around," Princess Twilight snapped. "And more curing a plague of pony baldness."

"Sorry!" Sci-Twi said, "It's just this lab is better than anything I have at home, or ever had at Crystal Prep... Which some of the students still hate my guts for 'abandoning' them for Canterlot High and-"

"I don't mean to be insensitive Twilight, but Princess Luna is headed here tonight, and she's ... sensitive, and I don't want an angry goddess causing a tantrum in Ponyville... again."

"Wait, PRINCESS Luna?!"

"Never mind that now," shouted Princess Twilight. "You have to stay calm and focus." She blinked. "Huh. Is this what it's like for my friends?"

Pinkie Pie went flying through the lab just then, bouncing on her tail like a coiled spring. "Naked! Naked, naked, wheeee!"

"Just ignore that," said Princess Twilight, not even turning her head.

"Ignore what?" asked Sci-Twi, glancing up from a microscope. She shook her head. "Since your pegasi control the weather here... how good is their fine control? Could a team of them round up all the exfoliant gas and concentrate it in one place?"

"I'd have to ask Rainbow Dash to be sure, but I think... yes! If we can find enough who can still fly." Princess Twilight grinned. "Then what?"

Sci-Twi beamed. "Then we send it to another dimension, where it will do no harm!" She thought about that and winced. "I mean, another... other dimension!"

"Why, yes!" Princess Twilight brought out the Umbrum Gate from the Crystal Empire. Beyond the gate, Sci-Twi gulped to see smoky-bodied vaguely equine horrors snarling and leering soundlessly at her. Twilight set it in the middle of the room, facing Sci-Twi. "My sister-in-law is letting me study this. We can try to send it all here."

"But what about them?" Sci-Twi pointed at the Umbrum. "Won't they end up overgrown Mexicolt Xolos?" The Umbrum blinked in sudden shock as though they'd heard what she said. But the mirror only allowed sight and not sounds to pass through, right?

"They're tough," Princess Twilight tapped the mirror and smiled confidently. "They can handle it."

Sci-Twi could have sworn the Umbrum frantically started shaking their heads 'No'. (Note: The Umbrum were just being vain; this wouldn't hurt them.)

"But," Princess Twilight said, "The gas is apparently invisible, and none of us detected it. I don't know how Rainbow Dash and her weather team are going to collect something they can't see. And they don't have their feathers to, you know, FLY, and I doubt there are enough prosthetic wings to go around!"

"Oh... that might indeed be a problem... I'm going to have to think about this!"

"Please think faster."

"Greetings, too far between have become our meetings!"

Princess Twilight turned to see a fully furred Zebra.

"ZECORA!" Princess Twilight exclaimed, actually getting Sci-Twi's attention.

"There is no need to yelp, Spike informed me you need help!"

"ZECORA IS A ZEBRA IN THIS UNIVERSE?!" Sci-Twi gasped. "Well, I guess that kinda makes sense."

Zecora the Zebra looked left and right, "This could be trouble, I am seeing double!"

"She's me from another universe! Zecora!"

Zecora reared back only slightly. "I see, what be is what be. While I stalled when I discovered Ponvyille had gone bald, I recognized my own peddle, and that somepony did meddle!" Zecora gave a death glare.

"Uh... sorry?" Sci-Twi said, even if this wasn't THE Zecora whose concoctions she had messed with.

"Your fur hasn't fallen out! Do you have a cure?! GIMMIE GIMMIE!"

Zecora took a step back from the naked princess. "Though our friendship does not wane, you ponies sure are vain!"

"It's for the safety for all Equestria!" Twilight said, imagining again angry princess Luna... was she dark skinned underneath her fur? Twilight was curious, but didn't dare find out!

"You do remember when Rarity was appalled, to learn that time was the only cure to being bald?" Zecora asked. "Given accidents have many opportunities, I have built up an immunity."

Twilight did remember that misadventure with Rarity... but she also dimly recalled when Trixie without aid had been easily able to manipulate Rarity's hair without trouble... maybe nopony has ever told Trixie it was impossible...

Discord did the same thing, but Discord broke the rules all the time, Twilight wondered if she'd met Discord before the Pinkie Sense Incident, if she'd have tried to brush off his chaos magic as mere illusions.

"TRIXIE!" Twilight teleported in front of Trixie's wagon, and banged on the door.

"Ugh! What it is? This is Trixie's day off and... Trixie has had this dream before... but usually she is the one without fur in front of her first grade magic class and... "

"Trixie! Only you can save Equestria!"

Trixie blinked, pinched herself a couple time, then dunked her head in cold water for good measure. Then Trixie grinned. "Trixie has waited her whole life for this moment!"

Then Trixie fur fell out. "OH NO YOU DON'T!" Trixie zapped her fur back in place. Then fell out again. "BLAST!"

"There's an invisible cloud of some kind from the other world that's making everypony go bald!"

"Humph! Then why didn't you say so?" Trixie, A UNICORN, conjured up a magical swirl of wind via weather magic around herself pushing the air around her away and zapped her fur back into place again.

This time Trixie's hair coat stayed. "Hah! The Great and Powerful Trixie really DOES have great magical power! That vile wretch Tirek was wrong to say I had no magic worth draining!"

"What was that?" Princess Twilight recoiled as Trixie did her very first rage shift, her coat and mane turning to blue-white fire.

"TRIXIE SAID NOTHING!"

"Okay." Twilight blinked. "Now how about cleaning up the Baldness Cloud before it strips everypony in Equestria of their dignity?"

"On one condition." Trixie gave a manic grin. Twilight sighed.

"Name it."

"Trixie gets her very own stained glass window in the palace when you usurp -- I mean succeed Celestia." She looked at her wagon. "Also, Trixie gets a smaller but still ornate version to put in her wagon."

Twilight choked and stomped a forehoof. "You want to be honored for stopping a plague of hair loss? I -- wait! Wait!" Trixie turned and calmly began walking back into her wagon. "Okay, I'll do it. Blackmailer."

Trixie smiled and began using her control of the winds to bring all of the depilatory gas cloud to be contained before her. As she did, Twilight smiled smugly.

'Well this once the problem can't be blamed on magic. Hah! Maybe Equestria has finally left that bogey behind.'

+++

"I wonder." Ocellus flashed with green fire and reappeared as a pony with a blue coat. "Hey, look, everyone! My coat isn't falling off -- AHH!" She flashed back to normal, fast! A ring of blue hair surrounded her. Ocellus ignored it to sign in relief at the sight of her intact chitin. "Thank Rosebud it doesn't work on Changelings!"

"Rub it in," a scale-less Smolder growled at her, wrapped in a blanket. "Why don't ya?"

Gallus said, "Wait long enough and it will."

Ocellus said confidently, "No, I'm sure I'm safe -- AHHH!" And with that her carapace fell off, exposing  a soft black and green squishy Changeling underneath.

"Ha!" Smolder lightly touched her. "How do ya like it? Ewww!" She jerked her claw back. "Does every Changeling feel that -- squishy, without their shell?"

"MY SHELL IS MY BONES!"

"Then how are you even standing up?"

Ocellus said, "Well, being the ancestral tribe of all ponies, we Changelings are partly endoskeletal as well as exoskeletal."

Smolder blinked. "How does that even work? And whatta ya mean, 'ancestral tribe of all ponies'?"

Ocellus answered innocently, "How else can we turn into any kind of pony we want and have all their powers, while they're all trapped in one form?"

Gallus cringed, shuddering. "Quick, turn into something! Something with bones on the inside!"

Ocellus nodded weakly, and a flash of blue flame turned her into a light blue griffon with reddish wings and a swept-back feather crest. Her fur and feathers promptly fell out, but at least she could move and breathe.

Gallus' beak dropped. "Whoa. I never realized how cute you are." He scratched his own bald head, bare skin blushing vividly. "As a griffon. Before you... I'll shut up now!"

Both of them suddenly got covered in sparkly tingling dust. Sci-Twi was carrying around something that looked like an old-fashioned bug sprayer, held in awkward inexperienced telekinesis. "There! This should stop the hair loss for now. I just hope Trixie's got the rest under control, so no one else gets exposed."

This was observed by a colt.

"The crisis is over already?" asked Button Mash, looking like a part-mechanical cyber-pony from one of his favorite games. "I was going to assimilate everycreature so they wouldn't have to go around naked." He rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "Say, I could still do that..."

His mother hit on the head with a trolled up news paper, wearing a towel. "No assimilating anything mister! Now get out of that ridiculous costume!"

"But moooooooooom!"

"We have enough 'buts' here already young man!"

Button slumped off homewards.

With the crisis finally solved, Smolder and Spike were busy slipping into a pair of their old molts.

"Ugh! Yee-uch!" Smolder shuddered as she finished putting her dry old scales on. "If anydragon had told me a year ago that I was gonna be doing this, I'd have laughed at them." She turned to walk out and froze. "Uh, Spike, do ya think we'll still be able to sell these to the 'hew-mons' on the other side of that mirror later for some bits, like we've been doing?"

"Huh? Sure," Spike grunted as he pulled the molt up around his legs. "I mean, as long as we clean the dragon odor out of them."

Smolder sat up. "Wait, we're supposed to clean them first?"

Outside Sci-Twi kept on disinfecting Ponyville. A long line of ponies had formed up to get treated, shivering from cold and turning red from embarrassment. Cheerilee stepped up, took her dose, and walked away with a sigh.

"Now I just need to find a away to cover up me having no hair when I get home, maybe Rarity has a wig?" She looked at the Friendship Castle. "And for once it was technology that saved the day. As well as causing the problem in the first place. I wonder if that's normal?"

"More than you'd think, Madam!" Time Turner called after her.

Trixie shouted, "Uh, no, for once it was your strange alien technology who caused the problem, and it was Trixie's magic that saved the day!" Trixie zapped Cheerilee restoring her coat, along with several other ponies, getting cheers for the Great and Powerful Trixie.

Zecora then said, "I speak truth! The problem was caused by a meddling youth!" Zecora glared at Sci-Twi.

"Oh, come on, how was I to know my formula would cause this kind of a problem?" Sci-Twi sniffed. "Besides, this world was dumping its problems in ours for centuries before this! The Sirens, the Memory Stone, other dangerous magical artifacts... You people need to be more careful!"

"Bah!" Trixie said as she zapped the coats back onto more cheering ponies. "Ponies are nothing like that! Not anymore."

***

Many miles away

"Uh, Starswirl, are you sure this is still an acceptable way to handle dangerous magical artifacts?" Rockhoof asked as Starswirl opened a magical gate into another dimension. In his mighty hooves he held a long-forgotten second mirror gate to the Umbrum prison dimension. Within it, fiendish and hideous smoke ponies gnashed their snaggle teeth at them. "Remember what that nice young Twilight mare said."

"Rockhoof, for the last time," Starswirl took the mirror from his hooves and hurled it through the portal. The Umbrum and the portal both vanished. "This way ponies are protected. And I make sure to send them places that are uninhabited! Well, it was the last I looked."

"When was that?"

"A little over a thousand years ago."

Through the portal:

Gorrgh the Orc War Chief howled in rage, stamping his feet and swinging his war axe high as the shining mirror that had fallen onto his head revealed ugly smoke horses that leered at him.

"GORRGH SMASH STUPID UGLY MONSTERS! BUT FIRST HIM BREAK MIRROR!"

+++

Trixie then continued confidently, "Yes, Ponies of this particular modern age are not like ponies of previous ages who would irresponsibility toss their problems into other universes."

+++

The smashed mirror lay before Gorrgh's as he knelt before Rabia, his eyes blank.

"Gorrgh gather all orcs. They smash everything for new Goddess Rabia."

Ira tugged at her mother's tail. "Mom, I thought we wanted revenge on the Crystal Ponies."

"We do, dear," Rabia nuzzled her. "But to get back home we need to cause enough trouble here to get magically banished back to our own world by whatever mages live here. I think raising a horde of monsters should handle that nicely."

++++

"Well, it's not like you ever punished any pony for dumbing magical stuff in our world, so you can't really punish me for dumbing something in your world, right... right?" Sci-Twi asked awkwardly and nervously as the ponies gathered around here.

Twilight had taken the time to zap Rarity and Sweetie Belle back from what was apparently a manifestation of their latent merpony genes... And all the girls were now circled around Sci-Twi.

"Uh, don't anything too bad to her!" Spike the Pup in his dragon form said.

"No, nothing too bad," Princess Twilight furrowed her brow, her eyes dark. Her horn glowed and with a cry, Sci-Twi vanished in a flash of purple light.

"Just what she deserves."

Spike the Pup whimpered in fear as Princess Twilight teleported away.

Shortly after, inside the largest classroom of the Friendship School:

"Bleah!" Sci-Twi spat a large piece of chalk out of her mouth. The chalkboard before her was covered with the words I WILL NEVER EVER DUMP MY MAGICAL PROBLEMS INTO OTHER DIMENSIONS. "Can't I stop yet?"

The chalk levitated off the ground and was shoved back into her mouth.

"Keep going!" Princess Twilight pointed her horn at a still-untouched second blackboard. "You're only halfway done!"

"And don't forget! Stained glass window!" Trixie chimed in, already having ponies cheering her name in Ponyville, her 'having inspired two idiots to lure an Ursa Minor to town' and 'enslaved the town while possessed by an evil artifact' now forgiven and forgotten as she gave back Ponville their dignity without having to wait for their hair to regrow. And having dodged at least one banishing attempt by agents sent by the mane-care industry.

"Hey, keep the line moving!" shouted somepony in the crowd.

"Yes, yes... The show must go on." Trixie sighed theatrically and zapped the next pony in line.

"Yes! The Dash is back in business! Hope Soarin' is still waiting for me!" Rainbow Dash zoomed off. Scootaloo sighed, lamenting again her lack of legal guardianship of her mentor rather than her laughably neglectful blood relatives.

(Zap!)

"Oh gods, finally!" Gallus beamed at his reflection in the school windows and struck a muscle pose. "Guess who's back?"

(Zap!)

"Mmm... do I get three guesses?" purred Ocellus, her griffon guise now fully furred and feathered.

Smolder breathed fire on a paper bag, then started munching the freshly-popped popcorn. "I thought Gallus had a thing for Silverstream."

Silverstream shrugged at Smolder. "I thought he had a thing for you."

"Well, he'd better not have a thing for Yona!" said Sandbar. "I'd get pretty jealous!"

Sandbar had been halfway joking, but the once-again fluffy Yona went "Awww!" and affectionately tackled him anyway.

+++

"No? Nothing at all?" Princess Twilight sighed in relief and ended her spell connection to Canterlot. "Thankfully, the Baldness Plague didn't reach beyond Ponyville. I hate to think what would have happened if it'd spread all across Equestria!"

"Uhh, perhaps Yona should keep news to herself."

Twilight froze as Yona entered the room, the flooring groaning under her hooves.

"Yona was sending box of Pink Pony's cupcakes to family back in Yakyakistan when everyone start losing hair... Did Yona do wrong?" The young Yak girl looked utterly dismayed.

Twilight just shook her head. "No, dear, but please go and tell Trixie she's going to have to visit Yakyakistan after she gets finished here." As Yona left the room Twilight muttered, "Maybe it won't be as bad as I think."

***

"Rutherford lose his magnificent warm hair coat! Yak should smash! -- But him never feel more free. Or cold."

Flash forewardz
"And that is how The Great and Powerful Trixie got a statue of herself in Yakyakistan!"
***
Princess Twilight just slumped in relief. "I'm just glad this mess is over, and that the Princesses will never know what happened here."

Spike said, "Uh, Twilight, you remember what they say about fate, and not tempting it?"

"Oh don't be silly Spike, that's just a superstition, like zombies, curses, and werewolves. Besides, I'd be way too tired to deal with that right now anyway."

-

"And then we were all bald!" Pipsqueak exclaimed. "... Would you really have destroyed all of Ponyville if you turned bald Princess?"

"Of course not... you and everypony you care for would have been spared."

"Lulu!"

"Humph! Just having some fun sister, I swear, you can do pranks and no pony complains, but when I do these jokes everypony jumps to conclusion."  

+++

"WAIT!" Princess Twilight said quickly. "Who disinfected human me's Spike?!"

+++

"WAAAAAAAAGH!!!" Human Rarity screamed. "Twilight has better STAY in the Pony universe until my hair grows back! OR I'LL KILL HER!"

"Second verse, same as the first," human Zecora felt the strange urge to say in her home at that moment.

Dragon-uped Spike thought to himself seeing Rarity's beautiful fury. 'As far as first dates go, this could have been worse.'

~Fin