A Near Miss

About twenty trots from the cave entrance was a sign that read:

Welcome to Jackie's Holes
Population: Changelings

The sign was written in crayon, and had an arrow pointing to the right, following a gentle right turn in the path. Beyond the turn the tunnel opened up into a large cavern filled with dozens of brightly painted stone buildings, buzzed about by many colorful Changelings. One of the closer Changelings spotted the two ponies and flew down to greet them.

"Hi, I'm Spleens!" Announced the bright green changeling as she landed, offering Long Shot a hoof to shake, "Welcome to Jackie's Holes!"

"Nice to meet you," Said Near before Long could be hoof shaken into submission, "I'm Near Miss, and this is Long Shot."

After vigorously greeting Near, Spleens asked, "What brings you to Jackie's Holes?"

"We're looking for this," Near answered after pulling out the picture of the artifact, "Do you know where it might be?"

"I've never seen anything like that, but I know someling who might know about it," Spleens explained as she started walking, "She works in the museum, this way." Near and Long shared a quick glance at each other before they started following their green guide. "Over here we have the marketplace, there's our bug-horsepital, that's our fire department, right next to it is our putting-out-fires department" Explained Spleens, pointing out each place in turn, "There's the library, that big one is our brothel, this one-"

"Brothel? Hang on," Long interrupted, "I thought changelings didn't eat love anymore."

Spleens was momentarily puzzled, "No, we just don't steal love anymore. We still eat all kinds of emotions, but only when they are given freely. Love and lust are still two of the most popular, so we made a brothel, changeling style. When some creature, changeling, pony or other, goes to the brothel, sex happens, the client gets laid, and the changeling gets a nice love, lust, and various other emotions snack to share with the rest of the hive. Sometimes we even pay the client for their services if they're particularly tasty, or if they're willing to stay for a while."

"That sounds awesome," said Long Shot, her tail twitching and rising slightly, "And can just anypony go in?"

"Easy there fluffy," Near said while pointing at Long's puffed out chest fluff, "Artifact first, then personal business."

Long's fluff deflated slightly as she groaned, "Ugh... Fine."

"Here's our museum, and to answer your question, yes, any willing creature can use the brothel if they so choose," Spleens announced as she held one of the blue painted stone doors open.

Inside the museum was a bewildering mix of everything from fossils to paintings to industrial training cutaway models and even a display of used toothbrushes added for good measure. Spleens wove her way through the displays towards the back. "Grey! You have visitors!" The changeling shouted. As Spleens turned a corner, she ran into and got briefly antler tangled with a greenish yellow changeling coming the other way. "There you are Grey, this is Near Miss and Long Shot."

Once Grey had stumbled her way back onto her feet, she greeted her guests, "Good afternoon, my name is Grey Matter, I am the curator of this museum, it's nice to meet you Miss Near Miss, Miss Long Shot. Welcome to the museum of Jackie's Holes."

"Hi Grey," Said Long excitedly as Near held up the picture of the tickler, "We're looking for this artifact."

After briefly studying the picture, Grey replied, "Yes, I do believe that we have that item in our collection, one moment please." The very polite changeling went off to the back rooms of the museum, and after a few minutes and several bangs and clangs, returned with the tickler held daintily in her forelock. "Here it is."

Before Long could speak, Near politely asked, "May we please have it?"

Grey looked somewhat taken aback. "I'm sorry, but I can't just give it to you-"

"What if we trade you something for it?" Long interrupted.

"Seeing as how it is the property of the entire hive, I'm afraid I don't have the authority to make such a trade. Only the mayor could do that."

Long opened her mouth to speak, only for Near to magically close it before she could get a word out. "Would you be willing to join us in discussing this with the mayor Miss Grey Matter?"

"When you ask so nicely, how could I refuse?" Grey answered.