A Near Miss

The next day, Near Miss was the first to awaken, and had just finished producing a large stack of prench toast when Long Shot and Spleens stumbled their way outside. After they had sat down without saying a word, Near couldn't take it anymore. "Look, I'm sorry, I didn't think prancing off a hundred trots away from the caravan would wake either of you, I'm really sorry."

At that, Long Shot leaned over and whispered to Near, "While you were out last night, Spleens woke up screaming and I comforted her. Us being awake when you got back had nothing to do with you."

"Well, in that case, who wants prench toast? I even made some with jalapenos for any spicy food loving changelings," Near gestured towards a second pile of prench toast as Spleens visabilly perked up before attacking her food.

Once they had all finished eating and cleaning up, Near pulled out the map as Long Shot started pulling the caravan. "The first of the gorges is only twenty kilotrots away," Near said, "There are five gorges in total, and they're spaced not more than one kilotrot apart. If the bridges are in good condition, then we might well pass them all today."

Once Long Shot had gotten the caravan moving, Spleens made her way alongside Near and Long, and the three of them began a lively discussion about whether pegasus feathers made pegasai slightly or massively more flammable than earth ponies.

It only took them a few hours to reach the first gorge, where they saw an old stallion blocking a narrow and rickety looking bridge. "Who do ya think he is?" Long Shot asked.

"Well, it's not the old pony from chapter 24," Spleens announced quietly.

"Wut?" Near Miss and Long Shot asked in unison.

"I said, it's not the old pony that scared me before," Spleens said a bit more loudly, "Ya know, the one who tried to break into the caravan? Ugh, nevermind."

Having reached the edge of the gorge, Long Shot detached herself from the caravan and approached the old pony.

"Stop!" The stallion commanded, "He who would cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side ye see."

"What if I get a question wrong?" Long asked.

"Then you are cast into the gorge of eternal peril!" The old pony answered with glee.

"So if this is the bridge of death, then what is that?" Spleens asked, pointing a hoof at a large, well maintained bridge thirty trots to her right.

"That is the bridge of tolls, where travelers must pay three bits to cross," answered the old pony.

"Three bits! Balls to that, I'll take my chances with the bridge of death," Long said as her companions nodded in agreement, "Ask me your questions bridgekeeper, I am not afraid."

"What is your name?"

"I am Long Shot."

"What is your quest?"

"To bring the artifact to Starlight Glimmer AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Long answered before being launched into the gorge of eternal peril.

Near Miss and Spleens gasped and looked at each other before Near stepped forward.

"Stop! He who would cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three 'ere the other side ye see."

"Ask me your questions," Near demanded.

"What is your name?"

"I am Near Miss."

"What is your quest?"

"To advance the plot," Near said confidently.

"What is the muzzle velocity of a Borfors 40mm AA gun?"

"L/60, or L/70?"

"L/70."

"One thousand, twenty-one trots per second."

"Sounds about right, you may pass," the old pony said as he stepped aside for Near, who crossed the bridge carefully after telepoofing the caravan ahead of her.

Spleens raised a forehoof, "Excuse me mister, you said he who would cross the bridge of death must answer your questions. I'm a girl, do I still have to answer?"

"Guess not, off you go then," the pony said as he moved out of the way.

By the time she got across the bridge, Spleens was surprised to see Long Shot sitting between Near and the caravan. "Long Shot!" She shouted as she ran forward to hug her friend, "I thought you were cast into the gorge of eternal peril!"

"I was, but then I remembered I can fly, so I did that," Long replied, gently pushing Spleens off of her.

"Oh yeah," Spleens said as she buzzed her wings up and down for a moment, "So can I."

"And I can telepoof myself and/or the caravan," Near said.

"So much for needing bridges!" Long Shot exclaimed, "Who wants to eat, I'm starving."

"Lunch sounds pretty good right now," Near said before shouting across the bridge, "Hey! Bridgekeeper! Wanna join us for lunch?"

"K"