Sweetie Belle - Hogwarts Exchange Student

Sweetie Belle - Hogwarts Exchange Student
Adaptation

“Well, that was unexpected.” Granite Peaks scowled at the iron cage in the middle of the room and the unicorn it now contained. “Your Highness, you need me to get you out of there.”

“No,” said Shining Armor rather firmly. The unicorn prince looked around his limited domain, restricted by the close grid of iron bars and the featureless crystal room around it. “I can hold the cage open for a few hours if needed. Mister Nott, do you have the information on the trap that you were looking for?”

“In a minute.” Theodore had not stopped waving his wand since exchanging places with the prince. He had expected something unusual from King Sombra’s twisted mind, but having the cage bars collapse around the targeted victim was fairly straightforward. Theodore could have used a shield spell to hold the bars open long enough to escape, but the unicorn’s shield was stable as a chunk of granite, and showed no sign of weakening.

“Shining Armor, you said you could hold this shield for hours?” It had been frustrating for Theodore since the unicorn spell was practically invisible to his own detection charms. It took a few moments to realize that was due to his every spell being deflected almost casually, as if Theodore was trying to look at an angled mirror.

“This size?” The unicorn shrugged. “Until I get tired. Still, I have things to do today, so I’d appreciate it if you would pick up the pace.”

“Understandable.” Theodore finished his inspection with several of his more tricky detection spells. “I’ll have to write up my notes afterward. I keep expecting the Carrows to demand three or more scrolls on how to use this spell on other wizards.”

“Wonderful people at your school,” said Shining Armor.

“Better than mine,” growled Granite Peaks. “Learned my craft in the Manehattan Brambles. Hundreds of ponies, all fighting and clawing for survival just one step above the sewer. Third of four foals in my family. Only one to make it out, and I’ve still got a catch in my shoulder where my father stuck the knife.”

“What about your mother,” asked Theodore out of reflex.

“He stabbed her first.” Granite Peaks scowled at the trap. “Wrap it up, boy.”

“Did she… die?” asked New Leaf, who was practically glued to Theodore’s leg.

“None of your business, coward.” Granite turned his scowl in Theodore’s direction. “Get him out of there. Now.”

“Not a problem.” Theodore aimed his wand carefully so he would not catch the pony prince in the fringes of the spell. “Reducto.”

And nothing happened, except for the iron bars around Shining Armor constricting slightly more.

School in the human world was far more complicated than Twilight Sparkle’s School of Friendship. Homework there had been pleasant discussions with other friendly students in the evenings and lessons during the day. Here, the homework involved far more writing, researching into books, and listening to lectures full of facts that she had never seen before.

Take astronomy, for example. The human stars stayed put, which seemed to be a terrible lack of creativity on behalf of whoever was responsible for their arrangement, and the moon had the terrible tendency to show up in the daylight instead of being restricted to the night as it should have been.

When Sweetie brought up the topic to Professor Sinistra, who taught the class, the elderly witch had the most peculiar reaction. First she laughed. Then after a few minutes, she had gotten quite serious, called class into order, and proceeded as if Sweetie had not said a thing. It was not until an hour later when all of the students were busy with their telescopes trying to find Saturn, when Sweetie saw the professor slip a small flask out of her pointed hat and take a quick sip. Then she looked up into the star-strewn sky, held her thumb and forefinger at arms length as if she were pinching the moon, then moved it back and forth for a time before taking a much longer drink.

It meant that Astronomy was going to be much more difficult than Sweetie expected. Nothing in the sky matched what she had learned as a foal, even if it stayed in place.

Still, it was fun sitting out under the stars with her classmates. At home, Twilight Sparkle had all kinds of information about the stars that almost but not quite matched what she was learning in human classes. Sparrow was filled with astronomic knowledge also, some of which baffled the other students who did not have muggle backgrounds, and it led to questions that neither wizards or unicorns could answer.

“Humans traveled to the moon?” asked Alfred. “Impossible. It’s too far away.”

“Mister Cattermole,” said Professor Sinistra, “you should be very careful when using that word.”

“What?” Alfred blinked once and looked at the rest of the Ravenclaw First Years around him, who were all shaking their heads. There were four female humans who had been Sorted into his House, leaving him the only male in his class. This had turned into a four-way competition among the Ravenclaws to attract Alfred’s attention, and Zenobia Worplesdon was currently in the lead. She slid a book out from her bag and leafed through the pages briefly before placing one long finger on a paragraph.

“The American school had many of their top intellectuals infiltrated into the Apollo program,” she read, “although tragically they were unable to intervene in order to save several of their astronauts during an accident early in the program when a number of gremlins infested the launch facility.”

“Americans put twelve men on the moon,” declared Sparrow proudly. “I wanted to be an astronaut and go to the moon too, but I didn’t like the restrictions. The job sounds a lot like a lab rat in a suit.”

“My sister and her friends went to our moon,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Oh, really?” Professor Sinistra put a bookmark into her sheaf of star charts and leaned forward. “I was unaware that Equestria had spaceships.”

“Oh, they didn’t use a ship,” continued Sweetie. “Applejack lassoed the moon and all of her friends pulled it closer so they could walk up the rope. They even made friends of the dream creatures who live there. It was so exciting I wish they had taken me with them.”

“Oh,” said Professor Sinistra rather quietly.

After class was over and the First Years were headed back to their Houses, Sweetie looked back over her shoulder and caught the elderly professor holding her hands as far away from her face as possible, looking as if she were trying to grab the moon between finger and thumb again. It was a bit silly for a human, since she did not even have a rope, but humans could do some incredibly unlikely things so maybe she was planning on a class trip for the rest of the First Years later in the school year.

* * *

“Was that supposed to happen?” asked New Leaf, who was still hiding behind Theodore’s leg.

“Nothing happened,” said Theodore, still a little baffled at the lack of response from a fairly reliable spell. Reducto had not been counterspelled, blocked, reflected, or any other method of spell elimination that he was used to. It just did not work.

“That’s what I meant,” whispered New Leaf. “Should we run?”

“No. I don’t think so.” Theodore tried several other spells on the iron bars surrounding Shining Armor with much the same non-result. Even the blasting spell did nothing but strike a few small sparks, and Granite Peaks’ own attempts at a counterspell were likewise swallowed up without a response.

“This is ridiculous. I have things to get done today.” Shining Armor’s horn glowed brighter and the bars began to bend from the inside as his shield expanded. Granite Peaks had the same reaction as Theodore, resulting in both of them struggling to get through the hall doorway at the same time. New Leaf had a head start and was waiting on them in the corridor beyond, just behind the doorway for cover.

“Can he break those bars?” asked Theodore to himself.

“The boy can shield a city,” growled Granite Peaks. “Saw him cover Canterlot for several days during the wedding. Alicorns would strain to do it, but he had it down cold. Of course he had to deal with a changeling queen in the process, but—”

The sound of iron bars losing physical cohesiveness made any conversation impossible. Bits and pieces of shattered cage scattered in all directions, some of which ricocheted off the opposite wall and clattered down the corridor. Theodore thought that was it for the trap, but New Leaf had a look of intense panic as he shouted, “That’s what an alicorn would do in the trap!”

The pieces of the puzzle fell into place entirely too fast, and Theodore leaned around the corner of the doorway with his wand firmly in hand. The unicorn prince appeared unhurt, but from the amount of panic that Leaf was putting out, that was only temporary.

“Accio!”

The summoning spell generally was not used for people. Even a poor wizard could counter it easily enough, or divert it so his opponent would catch a piece of surrounding debris instead of the expected target flying within reach. It also varied in intensity depending on the willpower of the caster, and at that moment, Theodore had enough will for a whole squad of aurors. The armored unicorn flew in his direction like he had been fired from a Propelling Spell, leaving Theodore barely enough time to realize his mistake before what he estimated as the weight of thirty or forty stone of pony smashed into him.

The back wall of the corridor was very solid. So was Shining Armor’s armor. The squishy center of the wizard sandwich, not so much.

Thankfully, Theodore did not lose consciousness, because the end result of his royal rescue was dramatic enough for him to remember for years.

First, the entire ceiling above the trap dropped.

Hundreds of tons of stone and brilliant crystal smashed down into the room that Shining Armor had recently occupied, caving in the floor and continuing down into an unseen basement with an indescribable noise. Then the floor above that one also collapsed, dropping into the hole with enough force to hammer a blast of air through the open doorway and scatter their little trap-breaker group in all directions.

It took a while for quiet to return, and even then it was not quite as quiet as Theodore wished. Little chunks of stone or crystal plummeted into the dusty hole with thunks and clunks, and there was a wheezing noise that took a few minutes to identify as coming from New Leaf, where he was having a panic fit in the middle of the dusty corridor.

The walk over to the frantic unicorn was quite difficult, as Theodore’s body was still insisting it had been the target of a Jelly Legs curse or perhaps a full bottle of Firewhiskey. He passed over a Pepperup potion, ensured Leaf drank the whole thing, and then got out one for himself, firmly resisting the urge to drink more of them.

Shining Armor did not seem to be phased by the incident at all. He walked over to the open doorway, looked down into the wreckage, and shook his head. “As if I didn’t have enough things to do today. My sister’s coming to visit.”

“Everybody please settle down.” Professor Slughorn tapped the chalkboard with his wand and a series of instructions appeared. “We’ve reviewed basic lab procedures, reagent handling, emergency responses, and the quiz over the list of materials we will be using for the first semester of the class. Five points to Gryffindor, by the way, for scoring so highly. Is there a secret to your success, Mister Chuffnell?”

“Me?” George looked up with a start and stopped trying to tie the scrunchie around the end of his braid. He looked remarkably shy for a human his size as he blurted out, “Sparrow made us study.”

“Cliff knew all the herbs and stuff first,” said Sparrow, “along with a whole bunch of stuff that isn’t in the book. So he really deserves the credit. Right?”

Wycliffe started to respond, but waited until Professor Slughorn nodded at him. “I grew up in a fen, sir. Father made certain I knew anything that could harm us, and Grandfather gave me all kinds of advice that I’m going to be careful not to follow.”

“Next time we should have a study session in the Great Hall,” said Sweetie, bouncing in her seat. “Everybody can get great scores that way.”

“I… um… don’t think the House competition is supposed to work that way,” said Francis Helpenstall. He looked up at the professor and added, “Is that right, sir?”

“As much as it pains me to admit it, young man, you are correct. Two points to Hufflepuff.” Professor Slughorn turned a disapproving look at the two Slytherin First Years. “I have seldom seen such abysmal grades from my House. If it takes tutoring sessions from Mister Nott to bring your scores up to passable, then I will approve weekly after-hours use of the Great Hall.”

Sweetie’s hand shot up of its own accord. “Can’t we have them in the alchemy classroom instead?”

“Miss Belle, the idea of allowing Slytherin and Gryffindor students together in a room with access to the potion storeroom is on the order of allowing Backfire Nott into the castle.” Professor Slughorn tapped the chalkboard with his wand again. “With that in mind, we shall take today’s class period to brew an extremely simple potion so you can practice your techniques on something you will be deeply appreciative of learning in a few years. The cure for boils requires only the ingredients I have laid out on the front table and a caldron of water brought to a light boil. Begin.”

“Ah, Professor Weasley. I was looking for you.” McGonagall swept down the hallway at a brisk pace, holding a piece of smoking parchment ahead of her. “Fawkes brought this just now. I thought you should read it before giving it to Professor Slughorn and Professor Flitwick.”

“Is it something from Equestria?” asked Percy out of reflex before catching himself. “Oh, of course it is. I thought things were going too smoothly.”

“One would think a period of relative normality in your House would be welcome,” said McGonagall as she handed over the smoldering parchment. “I cherished every moment of silence, brief as they were.”

“Silence is a sign of plans being made. My mother always got twitchy when the house was quiet for too long. Fred and George once led her on for a whole day, just being quiet and well-behaved until she blew her stack.” Percy read down the parchment with a slow shaking of his head. “I don’t see why Celestia had to warn us about keeping Sweetie Belle out of the kitchen. Students are not permitted in there at all. Well, except for the Hufflepuffs. They sneak into the kitchen for late night snacks and if you lower a basket on a string, you can sometimes get them to share.” He glanced up abruptly, only to catch a slight smile on the Headmistress’ face. “You didn’t?”

“When I was that age?” McGonagall nodded.

“So every year discovered the same trick, and the professors knew about it?” said Percy with a hint of indignation that he could not disguise.

“The Slytherins sailed innovative little paper boats around the lake over to the Hufflepuff’s side of the castle,” said McGonagall. “Ravenclaws found a different method every year, so I didn’t keep track of them. Young children need a way to show how clever they are, but since Sweetie Belle is not a Hufflepuff, thank goodness, she has no practical way of getting into the castle kitchens and—”

There was a noise in the castle corridor, much like something very large clearing its throat and sneezing. It was accompanied by a wave of puce smoke billowing out of the Potions classroom, coiling and writhing like a group of large diffuse snakes with a bad case of St. Vitus Dance.

Shortly afterwards, the entire class of First Years followed, each coughing and waving their hands to clear the air. At first, Percy did not recognize any of them, since orange soot was a universal component of every exposed surface. Altitude was a good indicator, and he quickly turned his attention to the tallest and most slender of the bunch, who seemed like she was enjoying the situation entirely too much.

“Miss Lilly,” he started with his sternest expression. Unfortunately, youthful speed and his own loss at what to say next allowed Sparrow Lilly to get her words in while he was thinking.

“You should have seen it, Professor Weaseley! Sweetie lit the fire under her caldron— Well, she knocked it over and we had to clean up the water first, but when she lit it, WOOSH!”

“Woosh?” asked Percy.

“Woosh,” confirmed the shorter of the three closest First Years. “I’m starting to think she’s a relative.”

* * *

“Far as I can tell, those three cleaned up the spilled water and put it back into the caldron,” said Professor Slughorn once they had the room back to order. Well, mostly order. “Lord knows how many years of potion residue on the desk in tiny doses, all mixed together and given a good dose of Equestrian fire magic.”

Headmistress McGonnagal eyed the barricade of chairs they had assembled to keep the hissing caldron in the classroom corner and determined it was not going to break out for now. “Quite a talented young witch,” she managed while considering the caldron and the sharp pewter teeth it was using to gnaw on a chair leg.

“I wonder if any of the other Houses would be willing to trade.” Percy wrapped the bandage a little tighter around his thumb and added, “I’ll be in the hospital wing if needed. With my luck, it’s poisonous.”

“Venomous,” corrected McGonnagal. “Unless you’re going to eat it. One point from Gryffindor, and I believe I’ll give them five for such an…innovative failure. I’m sure Dumbledore would approve.”

“I believe he would,” said Slughorn. He poured a few drops of a liquid over Percy’s bandage, measured the container’s volume, and took a sip for himself. “I never thought my job would get more difficult after You-Know-Who was defeated.”

Theodore Nott had only thought his job was difficult before. Now that he had time to look over the dusty residue of King Sombra’s innovative trap, he had scaled the difficulty up to Dumbledore level.

“I could use some repair spells,” he mused mostly to himself, “but that would only put the stonework back the way it was before, ready to collapse all over again.”

New Leaf looked as if he were going to comment, but remained relatively silent except for heavy breathing.

“How long do you think conventional repairs will take?” asked Theodore, trying to get some sort of response out of his trapbreaking partner.

“Four moons,” said the trembling unicorn. “Two if King Sombra was in charge. Fatalities were a bonus for him.”

Admittedly, Theodore was not versed in Equestrian construction methods, but it seemed short. “How? I haven’t seen more than a handful of unicorns since I arrived.”

“Earth ponies,” said New Leaf. “They can grow crystals, shape them. Plus, this is the home of the Crystal Princess. They would do anything for her, particularly since nopony was injured in the… collapse. It is considered an extreme stroke of good fortune. And…uh… Your saving Prince Armor.”

There was a very long silence with Theodore determined not to break it.

“Mares,” muttered New Leaf.

It was an interesting admission, so Theodore remained silent to squeeze some more out.

“Before. During Sombra. Mares were desperate to do anything they could if they could get even a little bit of safety.” New Leaf’s jaw worked slowly, as if he were chewing on his tongue. “They hid. Flocked to any stallion who could promise protection, even if it was a lie. Begged griffons to fly them out. Ran into the trackless cold with their foals. Hid in the crystal mines which was also a place of imprisonment for suspected disloyal ponies, so it was more than a little strange. Captured mares… It was more terrible than I can tell. Particularly for unicorns.”

“I don’t see how this relates to me,” started Theodore, only to have New Leaf practically climb the front of his vest and stick a nose into his face.

“You saved Prince Armor. They’re going to see you as a pony to protect them, even if you’re not really a pony. Mares will be coming out of the stonework. You’re the only male of your kind in our entire world. Don’t tell me you will be able to turn them all down.”

The idea came right out of bludger-field and caught Theodore unprepared. The relatively little time he had spent in Equestria had been a time of mental adaptation, appreciation for a well-done manecut, the attention ponies put into their grooming and limited dress. Cutie marks had been a point of curiosity for him, and the few times when he had been caught looking at a young mare’s rear…

“I’ll give you the credit,” said Theodore out of Slytherin instinct.

“I’ll bite you if you try,” snapped New Leaf right back. “The last thing I want is some frantic terrified mare who only sees me as something to hide behind.”

“Or twelve,” said Theodore. “I understand Equestrians do have some herding behavior.”

He had not meant it as a joke. Well, really. New Leaf seemed to take it seriously for a moment, then a look of equine consternation swept over his face in a dozen different twitches and grimaces, before the unicorn very carefully and specifically, stomped on his foot.

“Neither of us want that,” he said, stifling a tense giggle while Theodore was hopping around. “I suppose I can help cover for you if you promise not to tell anypony that I helped.”

There was a high-pitched squeal from behind them, and one of the castle servants came scurrying down the corridor in their direction. She looked oddly happy at having to hop over the occasional bit of scattered rubble, and came to a skidding halt in front of them, scattering a number of small stones.

“I heard what happened to Prince Shining Armor and how you saved him and nopony was hurt in the collapse and I just wanted to thank you for—”

Theodore had never really been hugged by a pony who was not holding back, and his ribs creaked under the strain. Breathing was impossible at the moment, but New Leaf took up the slack quite well.

“Bunnykins, please get a hold of yourself. Princess Cadenza would not appreciate you crushing her new trap breaker so soon. He has a lot of work left to do, and once he’s done, then you can— Urk!

It was New Leaf’s turn in the pink pony vice, and Bunnykins wrapped him up tightly, much like the boa constrictor Theodore had once seen in a muggle zoo. “He could have been hurt,” she whispered. “And both of you saved him. ThankyouthankyouthankyouIneedtogetbacktoworkandthankyou.”

And she was gone, leaving only a bit of drifting dust and cracked ribs to show she had ever been there.

“Ow,” said Theodore, massaging his ribs. “Princess Cadence warned me about a pink pony. That must have been her.”

Later that afternoon, he found out how wrong he was.

Princess Twilight Sparkle brought her friends to visit.

McGonagall had seen everything.

Twice.

Or at she thought so.

“You confiscated their books,” she repeated quietly,

“Aye.” Argus Filch appeared as proud as a crup dog who had just chased the muggle mailman up a tree. Under one arm he carried three Charms textbooks, leaving one hand free to hold onto Sparrow Lilly’s ear.

“Ow!” protested the owner of said ear. The other two students she had expected provided no resistance, Sweetie because she was petting Mrs. Norris, and Wycliffe Nott since he was attempting his best at remaining totally silent and unobtrusive, as if that would render him invisible.

“What are they supposed to do during class?” It felt slightly odd chastizing the elderly caretaker when her normal role was rescuing some of her House students from his over-enthusiastic grasp. “Why in the world would you take their books?”

“It’s in the rules,” he growled with pride. “Your associate signed them. All Ah’m doing is enforcing them.”

“What rules? Oh, give them the books and we’ll sort it out later.” McGonagall aimed one long finger at Sparrow Lilly’s nose. “Right after Charms class. You three. My office. With the books.”

* * *

A change of venue made all the difference. Instead of a crowded Hogwarts hallway, the Headmistress office was a place of authority, where she should have been able to deal with minor problems easier. The problem with the problem was that the addition of a unicorn to the school had also added several oddities that she was afraid were making more sense. Like the low padded bench next to the Headmaster’s desk which would have just fit a tired old unicorn who wanted to rest for a bit and chat with the Headmaster during the founding of the school. Or the covered drinking trough next to it that smelled ever so faintly of aged scotch, which she had never worked up the courage to uncover.

Once she had all three students and Argus Filch lined up, and Professor Weaseley present for a witness, she nodded and began. “Now, it seems we have a misconception here. I see nothing in the rules about confiscating the textbooks for Charms class. They seem to be the correct printing, and there are no cheating spells on them.”

“Rules does too. Right here.” Argus pointed a gnarled finger at a piece of parchment. and handed it over.

“Any and every item in the Weasley Wizarding Wheezes catalog? I fail to see…. Oh, no.”

Percy immediately pulled a catalog from under his robes and began paging through it. “They wouldn’t. I mean he wouldn’t.”

“Most certainly did,” growled Filch. “Page eighty-seven. Halfway down the right side.”

“Candy textbooks,” said Percy. “Variety of flavors, even. Some of them are…gum. Study a chapter and learn it inside and out.”

McGonagall looked at the three candy culprits and held out her hand. Sparrow Lilly reluctantly passed over her book and opened her mouth, only to have the students on each side of her kick opposite ankles.

“Missing two chapters already, Miss Lilly? I would have thought we fed you enough in the Great Hall.” She held out her hand again and collected the remaining textbooks for closer examination. “These are still intact, I see.”

“I hadn’t really gotten started studying before class,” started Sweetie Belle. “I mean it sounded so neat and I had some extra gallions and I was going to show them to Pinkie Pie— She’s not a muggle so it doesn’t count, right?”

Wycliffe cleared his throat and reluctantly added, “From what you’ve said so far about her, I really pity the auror who decides to investigate. And I didn’t tear out any pages because I wasn’t about to put anything in my mouth that came out of that shop.”

“I see.” McGonagall paged through the books while thinking. “Miss Lilly, won’t your lack of reading material interfere with your classwork when it comes time to review for an exam?”

Sparrow shrugged. “I read it once. I’m good.”

“Oh, really.” McGonagall turned to a particular page and read, “Disadvantages of a cheering charm include…?”

“Shortness of breath, loss of concentration, swallowing gum, inability to pronounce cardinal points of the compass for an hour, and pedal transient paresthesia. Not quite sure what the last one is.”

“It’s when your hoof falls asleep,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Oh.” Sparrow smirked in a way that a student facing a headmistress really should not have. “So are we good?”

McGonagall could feel one eyebrow raising despite her best efforts, and she closed the textbook to draw attention away from it so she could view the smug American for a while. “Miss Lilley, have you ever considered that some of the information in your textbooks may be wrong?”

The question obviously caught Sparrow unawares. “Uh… No?”

“Consider it.” She handed the textbooks back to the three students despite Filch’s snort of disapproval. “For now, you may all retain these particular textbooks, with the understanding that this privilege will be revoked if you miss any questions on any of your exams in this subject. At that point, it will be your responsibility to obtain a more conventional textbook to complete the term, with one House point removed for each missing chapter relating to the question or questions.”

“Sounds fair,” said Sparrow unprompted.

“On the other hand,” continued McGonagall, “I will grant Miss Lilley one House point for every structural or factual error she finds in the Charms textbook, up to ten.”

“Why?” blurted out Percy.

“So your brother can print a revised edition, of course. Now come along, you three. Professor Weasely will take you to your next class. Hut, hut.”

McGonagall watched the students depart with a hidden smile. It was good to be the Headmistress.