Discord, The God Of Love

by Inferno demon Dash

Rating: teen
Tags: Original Character, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders, Profanity, Gabby, Discord, Main 6, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 6639

Discord trades places with the God of Love for a day to have fun with new powers. To bad he sucks at it.

Discord makes a deal with Cupid, the god of love to switch their godly powers for a day in the hopes of having fun and being nosy.

He never realized the concept of love was so hard.

Published 2019-10-20 04:30:02 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-20 04:30:02 UTC

Why Is This So Hard?

Discord rested lazily on large pink clouds in the air, being fanned by two miniature immortal foals above him as he took a sip of the Ambrosia in his lion claw and sighed loudly in content, placing his eagle talon behind his head as he closed his eyes behind the sunglasses he had “borrowed” from Rainbow Dash, she wouldn’t miss them right now after all.

A throat cleared, catching his attention as he rolled his eyes and lifted up his shades, an annoyed expression on his face as he glanced at the one before him, a male Alicorn with ocean blue eyes, rather large in size with small wings, his fur as pink as Pinkie Pie’s and his mane and tail as blond as Prince Blue Blood’s as the Alicorn merely glared at the god of chaos.

“Decided to take a crack at being an Alicorn this time, eh, Cupid?” Discord smirked as he snapped his fingers and made the clouds he was resting on disappear as he flung the sunglasses into the air which vanished while he took yet another drink of the nectar of the gods from the coconut in his lion claw as the Alicorn rolled his eyes.

“Yes, I was hoping to see what it was like to be a horse with wings and a magical horn for at least a century, but so far it’s rather bothersome. I see you chose to make yourself comfortable in my home, Discord and knowing you, you didn’t merely stop by for a chat...so what do you want?” Cupid questioned as he leaned back into the enormous pink bean bag chair as a child like griffon flew over and refilled the drink in his right hoof while Discord held an eagle talon to his chest in shock.

“What, me? Can’t I simply come over and say hello to an old-”

“How long has it been, Discord? Two, maybe even three eons?” Cupid asked with a raised eyebrow while Discord did nothing more but give an embarrassed grin.

“True, it’s been some time. But I thought you would have been more thankful to me considering the fact that I changed your diapers for a hundred years.” Discord spoke offended as Cupid gave a rather harsh laugh.

“I didn’t ask Mother to shape me out of her own heart, and I certainly didn’t ask you to take care of me, though it is appreciated. But it’s also because of you that my image is shown as different creatures across creation with a diaper and a bow and arrow, thanks for that by the way. Even my Amore army can’t get rid of what you sowed, Discord!” Cupid replied sarcastically as Discord merely bowed with a wink.

“Anything to help, Cupi. My little boy’s all grown up now.” He answered before a very large handkerchief appeared wrapped around his head as he cried into a tissue and blew his nose into it before making them vanish seeing as how Cupid was not laughing.

Instead the god of love merely rolled his eyes, took a sip of his drink and rubbed the side of his head with a hoof tip.

“Still trying to be a comedian even after all these eons, huh, Discord?” He asked as Discord merely gave an impossibly large smile and two thumbs up making the Alicorn chuckle.

“And once again you have to be told that you’re funny when you’re not trying so hard.” Cupid spoke as he placed his golden chalice next to him while was immediately taken by a flying baby lion as he leaned up and looked down at the one who had raised him since he was formed.

“What can I do for you, god of chaos?” Cupid asked, ignoring the thousands of babies of all different species flying around them in his red colored throne room as he glared at Discord, wondering why he was just now being seen after so long.

Discord dug his goat hoof into the marble in front of him as he became embarrassed at the sudden seriousness of what he considered an old...well, not friend but ally. But thanks to Fluttershy and her friends he had hoped he could persuade the ones he had made enemies with or even those that saw him as an annoyance to be friends, give or take a few centuries, starting with his cousin, Princess Eris.

“Well...I was hoping we could maybe, quite possibly, trade places for a day.” He whispered slowly as he looked at the ground before glancing back up to look into the Alicorn’s face.

Cupid looked confused before he chuckled, then snickered and finally gave a full bellied laugh.

It took an hour, ten cups of Ambrosia and countless tears of mirth shed before the god of love finally calmed himself down, Discord using his banana phone to call his cousin and set up a time to interact with each other face to face and simply catch up over the eons while filing his nails with Gummy and being fed green grapes by a flying minotaur baby until Cupid caught his breath and took a long swig of his drink as he noticed Discord was still in front of him.

“O-oh, you were serious?” Cupid stuttered with a sheepish smile before Discord eyes widen in shock then narrowed in annoyance as he made Gummy disappear and took one last drink, telling Eris he had to go and that they will talk soon before the banana vanished and he made one of the children of love take his drink as he crossed his arms.

“Wha-of course I was serious, Cupid. I simply wanted to see what it was like being in your...horseshoes for the day.” Discord spoke with a glare as the Alicorn rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof.

“Yeah, I kind of can never tell with you. But I have to ask exactly why you chose me out of all the others?” He questioned while Discord begin juggling flaming chainsaws above him that sliced into different parts of his body as he turned his attention back to the Alicorn.

With a snap of his fingers he was reformed back into his original shape as the chainsaws continued to go everywhere much to the horror of the babies chasing after the blades running amok and ignoring Cupid who rolled his eyes.

“Honestly I was hoping to see what it is you do, and to annoy some friends-”

“HA!”

“Shut up, so do we have a deal, Cupid, you get my chaos powers for a day and I get your bow and arrows that make ponies and other creatures fall in love.” Discord asked with a sinister grin that Cupid knew from experience meant trouble but he had to admit he was intrigued.

“That’s not how...oh, fine. We’ll change places for one day. I’m eager to see just what I can do as the legendary god of chaos. Are there any rules before we begin?” Cupid asked, wondering just what the mortals have done to change the once feared immortal before him.

“Just one, don’t kill anyone in the world which Equestria resides. I can’t have all my hard work go down the toilet just because you don’t have a handle on my magic.” Discord answered as he floated closer to the Alicorn.

“Do we have a deal, Cupid?” He asked slowly as the Alicorn paused for a moment, narrowing his eyes in thought before he reached a hoof forward, grasping Discord’s outstretched eagle talon as they both shook on it.

“Deal, just for one day. After all, how hard could it be for you to be the god of love, Discord?” He questioned while Discord gave a large smile and nodded.

Discord was starting to regret this, not even an hour passed after he transferred all his power to Cupid and dropped to the ground, having to use his wings to stay afloat, he hadn't used his wings in a very long time and they were starting to piss him off.

As he surveyed Ponyville from the sky, thanks to having to fly he glanced at the very large silver crafted bow with imprints of hearts all over the indestructible metal and the pure white string, why Mother crafted such an odd looking weapon for the immortal was beyond him as he scratched his head with his lion's paw and glanced behind him to look at the red, white and pink painted quiver naturally embossed with hearts strapped to his back, luckily not getting in the way of his admittedly small wings as he sighed loudly.

“Um, Lord Discord?” A voice whispered behind him as he wondered if he was going crazy turning around to see if a pegasus was calling out to him but no one was around him as he raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“In the quiver on your back, my lord.” The voice spoke as Discord rolled his eyes and expertly took out an arrow, thankful that he had so much training as Captain Wuzz from Ogres and Oubliettes when playing with Spike, Big Mac, Pinkie Pie and when she was not tired from her training as a Wonderbolt, Rainbow Dash.

He looked at the silver tipped arrow with its red wood colored fletchling and white colored feathered nock with boredom, as if he had been asked what he thought of the weather.

“Yes?” He asked the arrow in his lion's paw, the bow held in his eagle talon as he swore the projectile blushed.

“Um, did you bother to read the manual meant for the god of love, my lord?” The arrow questioned, somehow as it had no mouth or even a face but Discord was used to weirder things in his life span.

“Uhhh….” He trailed off in thought before clearing his throat in embarrassment, knowing for a fact that he started eating the book that he had set on fire somehow with ranch dressing and a side of hayfries after the deal had been stuck, pounding down twenty bottles of godly wine with an Alicorn testing out his new powers while drunk had that effect.

“Great.” The arrow said sarcastically before doing a noise that sounded as if it was clearing its throat.

“Name?” Discord asked, not wanting to keep referring to the weapon as an arrow while it could only sigh.

“We are not given names, my lord. We are simply meant to find the desired target and help guide them to their love interest. But you’re welcome to name me if you wish, my lord.” It spoke back as Discord merely blinked in confusion.

“Well in that case I think I’ll call you Jill.” Discord replied with an award winning grin as he twirled the bow in his lion claw.

“But I don’t have a...very well, my lord. You may call me Jill. Now, you do know how to send us flying to the creatures you chose, right?” Jill asked as Discord merely blew a raspberry, offended.

“Of course I do, I’m not a professional archer in Ogres and Oubliettes for nothing you know.” He answered with a smirk before proving such a skill as he placed the arrow on the string, drew back, closed his right eye and with very impressive and honed skills he aimed and shot it directly into Roseluck’s face who didn’t even flinch as he flew above her as her eyes briefly flashed pure bright green but the Earth pony didn’t even notice.

“Carrot Top.” The arrows behind him whispered with a deep, loving sigh making Discord shiver in unease.

“Damn, maybe I should have picked another arrow that was not Jill.” He muttered to himself, rubbing the back of his neck with his free claw.

“Worry not, my lord. We are infinite, though I doubt with the limited time you have, you’ll wish to name all of us.” Jill spoke behind him as he pulled what he hoped was the same arrow from his quiver.

“Oh...that’s actually impressive. So you said Carrot Top, does that mean that Roseluck is in love with her or something? And what’s with the green eyes?” The former lord of chaos asked in confusion staring at the arrow while looking down towards the mare who was trying, poorly he noticed to not stare and drool at the mare who was watching over her stall of carrots as she waved at Roseluck who blushed and gave a small wave back.

“Well, my lord. If you would have read the...never mind. The green eyes do indeed symbolize the romantic attraction towards another but you would need to fire one of us at the mare in question to be sure that she feels the same, otherwise-”

“Great, then let’s do this!” Discord interrupted as he once more nocked Jill, aimed and shot it directly into Carrot Top’s rear who didn’t feel a thing as she rubbed her nose with a hoof and as with Roseluck, Carrot Top’s eyes briefly flashed completely bright green as Discord waited to hear the results.

“Muffins.” The arrows chanted in their disgusting puppy loved voice as Discord felt a shiver go down his spine.

“You mean Derpy.” He corrected.

“Whatever.” They responded back as Discord ran his claw over his face in annoyance.

“As I was saying, my lord, just because a pony has feelings for one it does not mean they in turn feel the same way. Case in point.” Jill spoke behind him as he wanted to strangle himself with the bow, he knew what he had to do if not for the ones he fired at then for his own curiosity, this was going to be a nightmare.

“By my own name.” He snarled as he flew to find Derpy and get to work.

It had taken four hours and by the end of it Discord wanted to burn down the town and everyone who lived in it, including himself.

He found out through extremely painstaking labor and nearly twenty arrows that half the town was in love with each other.

Roseluck loved Carrot Top, while Carrot Top loved Derpy who loved Doctor Whooves who was then in love with Starlight who was in love with Trixie while Trixie was in love with Aloe and after that he just stopped caring and started firing at anything that moved.

Ironically he didn’t even visit the ones he had meant to in the first place, he did find out that as the god of love he was invisible to everyone but gods and could not be heard by those around him after he screamed in frustration with all the air in his lungs.

“My lord.” Jill called out to him as he sighed loudly, taking another bite of his green apple he had stolen from Applejack, he needed a break and if he didn’t have so many years with chaos he would have gone insane.

“What is it, Jill?” He growled to the arrow behind him after taking another bite.

“Mortals are...complicated. Just because they love someone different doesn't mean they can not give the one who loves them a chance. I believe it's called dating, after all. To find if they are compatible with one another. Lord Cupid has been doing this a lot longer than you after all, he knows how to touch hearts in ways you could not dream. Simply give it more time, Lord Discord.” Jill responded as Discord groaned while flicking the finished apple core at Apple Bloom’s head who yelped in pain which went ignored.

“But there are just so many with their hearts all over the place, how are they supposed to find their special somepony if they keep switching who they love.” He asked, rather both annoyed and depressed that he was doing such a terrible job.

“That is the choice of free will that Lady Fate has given the mortals, is it not?” Jill questioned as Discord merely snorted.

“Fine, fine. Whatever. Let’s keep going, I guess.” Discord said, launching himself from the bench where he sat, leaving the terrified pony next to him scarred from seeing a floating apple but not really surprised by much anymore as Discord ignored the pony and glanced towards Apple Bloom who had looked at the fruit in confusion before she shrugged, picked the stem up with her mouth and threw it in the trash before standing next to Applejack once more and advertising apples, as was their theme.

Discord stroked his beard as he looked at the leader of the Cutie Mark Crusaders before rolling his eyes.

“I swear if I have to race all over town again-” He muttered to himself before taking out an arrow and as he’s done so many times now, shot it into the back of Apple Bloom’s head as he quickly glided over to see the teenager’s eyes glow bright green for a second.

“Rumble.” The arrows spoke in the same voice that even now sent shivers up Discord’s spine.

“Can you please stop that?” He yelled at the projectiles behind him.

“No.” They responded as he groaned in defeat.

It took a few minutes but he finally found Rumble and repeated the process as the male gray pegasus eyes lit up green as well.

“Apple Bloom.” The arrows sighed as if they were in love with pony themselves before three pink hearts floated above both the earth pony and pegasus, confusing Discord like no other.

“Uh...did I win?” He asked to no one in particular while Jill gave what sounded like a laugh behind him.

“No, my lord. You did not win in the sense of...well, victory. You did however find true love and the arrows in turn will guide the ponies to what their hearts desire, as you can see.” Jill spoke with what Discord could only describe was a sigh of content as he looked down and saw Rumble take a deep breath as though he was gathering his nerves before he lifted into the air, nearly smacking into Discord and finding Apple Bloom asked her out like a grown stallion to which she smiled as if she just won the lottery and gave him a bone crushing, rather painful looking hug in joy.

Discord could not help but grin at the two as they talked about their feelings and what they wanted to do on their date as he twirled the bow in his claw, feeling rather satisfied.

“Well look at that, maybe there's hope for this job after all, huh?” He spoke to himself before nocking another arrow and aiming it at Applejack who looked at the two teenagers with a proud smile on her face before Discord shot her between the eyes with an arrow she could not see or feel.

“Soarin.” The arrows sighed making Discord groan in discomfort.

“Soarin? Wait, you mean the Wonderbolt pegasus in Cloudsdale?” He growled out loud.

“Yes, my lord.” They spoke as Discord smacked his face hard with his free claw.

“This better be worth it or so help me-” He screamed as he began his flight to the city in the sky.

It turns out it was in fact worth it, not only did Soarin feel the same for Applejack but once his eyes stopped glowing he stopped in midair and screamed to Spitfire that he had to do something important, an emergency he shouted as the pegasus turned around and rocketed at the speed he was famous for landing in front of Applejack with freshly bought roses in his hoof as he asked her out on a date loud and proud to which she naturally accepted with tears in her eyes.

It was almost enough to reduce the god to tears himself, almost.

“Are you going to cry, my lord?” Jill asked as Discord cleared his throat to hide the fact that he nearly did.

“N-no, of course not, just got something in my eye. I suppose we might as well see who the rest of the girls love, eh?” He spoke with a chuckle before flapping his wings and flying towards Fluttershy’s cottage.

The very first one he could call a friend was tending to weeds in her garden, sweating profusely with dirt staining her muzzle, forehooves and chest as she grabbed at a rather stubborn one with her teeth and pulled giving a soft cheer at it came out of the ground before she wiped her forehead with a hoof and gave a loud sigh of exhaustion, placing the weed with the others as she adjusted the strawhat on her head and walked over to take a drink of water from the glass near her front door, right before she was shot with an arrow.

Discord waited for what felt like five minutes as he watched her finish her drink and trotted back to work, humming a tune he had forgotten the name of while he scratched his head in confusion.

“Well?” He shouted at the arrows who didn’t respond until he heard Jill’s familiar voice.

“She has no one she loves romantically, my lord. At least at this point in time.” Jill responded hesitantly causing Discord to frown.

“Really? Huh...would have thought she was in love with me. Oh well, on to the next.” He whispered to himself.

“However, my lord if you draw another-”

“Eh, tell me later when I care.” Discord dismissed with a wave of his claw before he flew over to the Carousel Boutique and upon seeing Rarity and Sweetie Belle come out of the shop, shot both of them with an arrow, wasting no time nor caring much about Rarity, though he did have a soft spot for Sweetie Belle.

“Thunderlane, Tender Taps, Spike the dragon, Fancy Pants.” The arrows spoke simultaneously as Discord had to resist the urge to smack himself in the face again.

“Well which is it?” He questioned, silence meeting him before Jill spoke again.

“It appears Rarity is love with both Thunderlane and Fancy Pants and Sweetie Belle wishes for Spike the dragon and Tender Taps.” It answered as Discord groaned before slamming the bow into his face repeatedly.

“Here. We. Go. Again.” He shouted before sighing and flying to the three that were closer to him, annoyed at just the mere thought of flying to Canterlot.

It turns out Tender Taps was not only not attracted to Sweetie Belle, he was gay and for Button Mash who to Discord’s disappointment was in love with the unicorn, the poor sap.

Thunderlane on the other hoof was very much in love with Rarity and after seeing the triple hearts appear over both Rarity and Thunderlane and seeing Thunderlane ask Rarity out which put a smile to Discord’s face he turned towards the Castle of Friendship.

Spike on the other claw...well had other problems when Discord shot him.

“What the absolute buck do you mean Scootaloo, Gabriella, Rarity, Ember, Fluttershy, Ocellus and Smolder?” Discord was practically screaming as he held the quiver and bow in his claws as he roared at the arrows.

“His heart is…divided, my lord. He can not choose and has his heart set on different females.” Jill replied nervously as Discord screamed before slamming the quiver and bow into the wall next to him with all his strength over and over again until he ran out of breath, knowing neither could be harmed.

“Remind me to kill Spike after all this is over.” Discord whispered in a dark tone.

“Yes, my lord.” The arrows replied as Discord screamed again before slinging the quiver back into place and flying out to what he considered had to be the worst of the entire day, and he still had not even flown to Canterlot, knowing there was little reason to shoot Fancy Pants anymore, though he was curious about Celestia and Luna.

But first he had one hell of a job to do.

It took six hours, not counting taking the time to fly to the Dragonlands for Ember as well as the Changeling Kingdom but at least he had done it and gave a loud groan as he wiped his forehead with his tail and sat on the grass underneath the clear blue sky and a tree for shade.

He already knew Fluttershy held no romantic love for anyone, not even him and Rarity was clearly now taken which he had no doubt would break Spike’s heart. But the others, oh by his own name, the others.

Ocellus was not only not in love with Spike, she loved Sliverstream who in turn loved her back so that was a sight of young love worth seeing at least, Smolder didn’t love anyone romantically and no doubt saw Spike as nothing but a friend.

Ember was in love with King Thorax who after being shot with an arrow, Discord found out that the king was in love with Ember as well, he could only wonder how that would look to their subjects or what the public would think but he had no doubt they would figure it out, a tiny part of him hoping to see a war broke out between the two races if they violently disagreed.

But Scootaloo and Gabby? By the GODS!

When they were guided by the powers that be to Twilight’s castle to confess to Spike and found out Spike was in love with both of them they attacked each other brutally and blood was not only spilled, it was practically thrown onto the ground.

Discord felt as if he watched a mare catch her husband cheating on her with the way Scootaloo slammed her hoof into Gabby’s face.

There was so much chaos, rage and Spike screaming at them to stop while they had to be held by not only Twilight, but Starlight and Rainbow Dash as well.

After Discord could finally breathe after laughing harder than he had in an eon, Discord shot both Twilight and Rainbow Dash.

“Night Glider.” The arrows sung, Discord resisting the urge to snap them into pieces, even though he knew they could not be broken.

“Who the hell is Night Glider?” Discord asked in puzzlement, seeing the fight below him being wrapped up as the pegasus and griffin were screaming at Spike to tell them who he loved as the poor dragon held his claws over his eyes and scream back that he didn’t know.

“A female pegasus in Starlight’s village, Our Town. My lord.” Jill replied back making Discord groan again and slam his head into the wall behind him.

“Do I have to…” He questioned out loud.

“You do not have to if you do not wish, my lord but I’m sure you would like to see the outcome.” The arrow responded as Discord debated with himself if the arrogant pegasus was even worthy of finding love before he sighed, rolled his eyes and flew towards his destination.

As was his luck, and Rainbow Dash’s, Night Glider felt the same way and he could only give a half hearted cheer with a roll of his eyes that the two found love with each other before flying back to Ponyville, there was only one more on his list that he cared about after all.

But before he got half way he stopped himself and quickly flew to Canterlot, just to be safe.

Shooting Luna with an arrow yielded no romantic results but her eyes glowed completely bright blue, as did Celestia when he shot her, which only confused him even more.

“It is not romantic love, my lord.” Jill spoke as Discord merely rolled his eyes again.

“Gee, you think?” He sarcastically spoke before Jill continued.

“It is family love, such as with each other, Spike the dragon, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and Prince Blue Blood. That is what I was trying to explain if you had shot Fluttershy or Twilight again, as the Alicorn also held no romantic love as you recall.” It spoke as Discord scowled.

“I would have thought at least one of the sisters would still be in love with me. And I thought for sure Bookworm still had the hots for her ex, Flash Sentry or at least Sunburst. What a bummer.” He spoke sadly before turning to fly back to Ponyville, he didn’t have much time left before the deal was over, it ended at midnight after all.

“Love for an ex is rarely romantic if the relationship ended on bad terms, my lord, clearly Flash Sentry is no longer in Twilight's heart if we can not bring it from her.” Jill spoke, almost in a sad tone it seemed to Discord as he didn’t bother replying and finally floated down to the last one on his list.

Pinkie Pie was counting the bits she had made for the day from the register with a cheerful tune and a smile, clearing focused on the task at hoof before her ears perked up and she frowned causing Discord to nearly freeze in fear.

“Can she see us?” He whispered to the arrows on his back as only Jill responded.

“Normally no, my lord, no mortal can see us but with Pinkamena Diane Pie it is...uncertain. I suppose we can find out if you allow her to look up.” Jill whispered back, somehow making Discord’s mind run wild with either staying in place in the air or hiding.

He didn’t have time to think anymore as Pinkie looked up, her eyes narrowed and muzzle scrunched up in confusion before she narrowed her eyes to mere slits and after ten seconds shrugged her shoulders and went back to her task.

Discord let out a breath he was not even aware he was holding before he placed his head in his claws.

“That was way to close.” He whispered.

“I agree, my lord.” Jill whispered back as the other arrows merely hummed in agreement.

Without another word to be said, Discord nocked another arrow and shot Pinkie Pie in the snout.

“Ow!” Pinkie screamed as she reared back in pain, falling onto her back and clenching her nose with her front hooves before she rolled over and ran to the kitchen, Discord completely frozen in the air as he dropped to the ground in shock.

“You have got to be bucking kid-”

“Who's out there?!” Pinkie screamed in rage as she came back to the front of the store, a butcher knife that Discord didn’t even want where she got it from in her left hoof as she bared her teeth and looked around the bakery, looking up and down before she looked directly into Discord’s eyes who still had his bow in front of him as he once again held his breath.

“Motherbucker that hurt.” Pinkie whispered to herself, rubbing her injured nose with her free hoof and turned around to put the knife back.

“Cheese Sandwich, Discord!” The arrows sung loudly and happily which was stopped instantly by the mare who ears went up again as she looked over her shoulder with narrowed eyes again.

After a full five seconds she turned back to the kitchen, Discord not hesitating to flap his wings and get out of there as fast as he could, flying out the window with a speed that would make Rainbow Dash proud, his heart beating hard in his chest as he leaned against the side of the building with a claw to his chest.

“Holy shit! She can hear us, holy shit, she can see us or at least sense us…holy shit! She’s in love with me?!” Discord nearly screamed before shutting his mouth, hoping the pink earth pony would not come after him.

“And Cheese Sandwich, my lord.” Jill declared proudly as Discord pulled out a random arrow, hoping it was Jill.

“Who cares about the zany earth pony, she’s in love with me, the god of chaos!” He whispered softly, he could not tell if it was to himself or the arrow.

“W-what do I do now? Do I wait until the deal ends? Do I find Cheese and shoot him in his big smiling face or do I...do I?” He trailed off completely unsure what to do in such a situation.

With the other mortals it was a pain, sure and nearly drove him insane with anger but he at least wanted to see the outcomes and he was glad that he did, even if he didn’t care about a few at the beginning but this, this changed everything.

“I-I don’t know my lord, to be honest. Once Lord Cupid found out another loved him, he would either go after them if he felt the same or leave them be and allow them to move on with their lives, I suppose you would have to do the same.” Jill repiled, sadly which Discord still didn’t know how such a thing was possible but he didn’t question it, after all, what point was there in making sense.

Discord never felt so torn in his life and considering the fact that he was ten billion years old, that was a seriously impressive feat.

He had a choice to make and he honestly didn’t know which was the right one.

“Could Cadence see or hear me, you know since she is the Princess of Love?” He questioned Jill in a panic.

“The avatar of love for Lord Cupid can not, my lord. She was given a small bit of his power when he chose her, but can not interact with him or in this case, you directly.” Jill answered, rather somber as Discord placed the arrow back in the quiver to run his claws over his face, again.

After a large, deep breath he swallowed the salvia in his throat and asked in a broken tone.

“Would it be wrong of me to say that I don’t want them to get together? Would that be selfish?” He whispered softly as none of them spoke for a full five minutes.

“No, my lord.” They whispered back, Discord didn’t have any more time to think on the matter as a bell chimed around him before he looked above and saw Cupid himself laying on his bean bag chair that was carried by nearly forty of his servants.

“Have fun, Discord?” The Alicorn questioned before hoofing over a pint glass of godly nectar which Discord gulped down greedily, letting out a large breath of air as he gave the empty glass back.

“I didn’t know your job was so...taxing. That it was so much work flying and shooting nearly everything that moves, or what to do if-”

“You found out that Pinkie Pie was in love with you.” Cupid answered, it was not a question.

“You knew?!” Discord nearly screamed as he gave an animalistic growl to the immortal who merely gave him a deadpan stare, not even threatened.

“Careful, god of chaos. My arrows are not just made to find love.” Cupid whispered as he lifted a hoof and all of the arrows came out of the quiver, pointing towards Discord, so many Discord could not keep count as he merely leaned against the roof with a sigh.

“I’m sorry. I just...don’t know what to do now.” He spoke, truly lost for the first time in eons.

“Go with your heart.” Came the simple reply.

Discord merely gave a laugh, louder and louder until nearly all of Ponyville could hear it before realizing he had his powers back as he snapped his fingers and teleported them back to Cupid’s throne room.

“That easy huh?” He asked, looking into Cupid’s eyes which were as blue as the ocean.

“No...but as mortals say, love makes you do crazy things.” Cupid chuckled as Discord gave a small smile.

“This was fun...let’s never do it again.” Discord laughed while Cupid did nothing more then nod.

“You should visit my home if you ever have the time, I’d like for us to become...friends.” He spoke softly which made the Alicorn raised an eyebrow.

“Friends? I-I’d like that, Discord. But for now, how about we celebrate and I can tell you all about what I went through with your powers?” Cupid laughed as Discord gave a dark sneer.

“Got any alcohol?”

Discord stood in front of Pinkie Pie’s bedroom door, for once in his life hesitant on knocking before he took a deep breath, attempting to be an adult like the males he saw yesterday run or fly after those they loved with their hearts out.

Lifting an eagle talon he knocked softly on the door and waited.

The door opened slowly as he looked down to see Pinkie Pie with bags under her eyes and her hair and tail a complex and chaotic mess, just like he liked it as he smiled to the pony who merely gave him a small, tired smile in return.

“Discord, it’s three in the morning. Not that I’m not happy to see you but I got to work in three more hours, is this important?” She asked with a large yawn making him chuckle.

“Yes, it is actually. Pinkamena...would you like to skip work for the day and go out with me, I was thinking we could go sledding through a mountain of chocolate and vanilla frosting and cherries.” He spoke confidently but nervously awaited her answer as she rubbed her eyes with a hoof and then her nose, making him wince at the memory.

“Can you add gummy bears, worms and chocolate rain to that?” She asked with another yawn as he smirked.

“Anything your heart desires, Pinkie.”

“Then it’s a date. Let me get a few more hours of sleep first and after I ask the Cakes for the day off we can go, ok?” She asked as he nodded.

“Good morning.” She laughed lightly as he rolled his eyes.

“Good morning.” He responded back as she gave one last, famous Pinkie Pie smile and closed the door as he turned around and leaned back against it, the smile never leaving his face.

“It’s a date.” He whispered with a chuckle and a huge weight off his shoulders as his mind raced with different things to do for the day as he stood up proudly and snapped his fingers to get ready, happier than he had been in an eon.

Cupid rolled his eyes as he looked over at the two mix matched but adorable couple as he had a servant bring his bow and nocked an arrow.

“My lord, Lord Discord called me Jill. I rather liked that name, if you do not mind me keeping it.” Jill spoke to her master as Cupid smirked.

“Jill it is then. Children, bring back my forces from Los Pegasus, Canterlot and the Crystal Empire. I’ve been away for far too long.” He yelled as the immortal creatures around him cheered, glad to have their god back once more.

With nothing more to say he fired Jill towards her temporary master and smiled as three hearts appeared above them both.

“I ship them.” He whispered before slowly standing up, ready to do what he was created to do after such a long time away.

Author's Note

Apologies for this not being edited.

It's been such a long time since I wrote so much and you have no idea how happy I am with how this turned out.

I'm honestly hoping you all like it, please give honest feedback.

I'm aware all of this is merely my personal headcanons with the pairings but I hope at the very least a few might agree with some of them, if not then you can't please everyone and I like what I created.

Enjoy everyone, if there are any errors please don't be afraid to tell me.