Chapters The nightmare before the Drake
'' I don't want to set the world on fire! I just want to start a flame in your heart!'' Spike sung while furiously admiring his torch, '' Your time will come, little one! They will burn for their blasphemies!''
Spike walked along the dark and tortuous road leading to the castle, which was usually so luminous and well-kept, '' I'm looking forward to seeing how she decorated her barbie cas- WHAT THE ACTUAL TARTARUS!''
Spike was shocked to see Celestia's castle had sunk into darkness, the towers so upright were now twisted, the once-so-white walls were now as dark as Sombra himself, and the water so blue of the waterfalls was now so green that it looked like the Smooze was in it.
Spike seemed speechless in front of the castle, '' The castle may be pretty, but the giant spider on the other side of the mountain looks so plastic! Anyway, as The Trammps once said '' Burn baby burn!'' Spike took a step towards the castle when suddenly he felt the earth shaking, '' What's going on now? '' Spike looked at the castle which torn off from the crust lands to fly in the divine sky.
'' OH NOW SHIT GOT REAL!!!'' The castle flew away from Spike as if it did not want to breathe the same air as Spike, which enraged him even more, '' Oh no you don't! At first, I wanted to burn you but now I want to crash you!'' Spike ran to the edge of the ravine and in a mad rush, jumped off to the castle and by one sick chance, managed to cling to the drawbridge that closed just after Spike entered the castle.
Inside the castle, in a desert corridor, a small glow appeared on a wall, the shadow seemed to chase a will o wisp,'' Hi hi hi hi I'mma catch ya!'' Said a childish yet ghostly voice.
The glows continued to run down the hallway when it inadvertently fell, revealing its true form, '' Come back little flame!'' The glow was actually the ghost of a little boy disguised as a pirate unless it was his real clothes. The Will o wisp went away from the boy but was immediately locked in a jar by an enormous shadow. The boy looked silently at the shadow's step towards him, when arrived in front of him, the shadow stretched the jar towards the boy, revealing pale hands with black, hooked nails. Those hands were scary yet elegant as if they belonged to a queen.
The boy shook the jar that caused the-wisp to divide into several copies of himself, '''' Thank you!'' The boy turned his head to thank the shadow but the shadow one was no longer there. The boy tried to look after the shadow but he heard some music, '' Yeaaaahhh music!'' Passed through the wall and disappeared like a shadow in the night.
Spike was now walking in a dark hallway without any light to lighten up his path, the only way for him to move was by listening to the sound of the party, '' I swear to myself when I see Vinyl, I'm gonna bash her skull open with her fucking turntables!''
Spike continued strolling in the darkness like a purposeless carcass when he saw a faint stream of light through a breach in the wall, '' I don't want light! I want revenge!'' In a rage for not being able to take revenge on those whom deceived him, he swept his vengeance on this mocking wall, '' Take this!''
Spike hit the wall with all his dragon strength except that the wall was old so it collapsed like a castle of toothpicks. The dust flew in all directions, making Spike cough, '' Cough-cough! I fucking hate dust! '' Spike stopped coughing, looked up and discovered all the party guests.
In front of so many glances, Spike had the most natural reaction in the world, according to him, "EH EH EH!" Nobody reacted to his presence, they were all looking at him with their lifeless eyes. So Spike did the same, but he realized one horrible thing, none of them were in costumes.
'' You gotta be kidding?! None of you are wearing costumes! What is wrong with you? I mean shit! I despise Ponyween and All the things that come along, but not you! You're supposed to love it, so you're supposed to wear make up And costumes to ''honor'' the tradition of who's the scariest of all, but instead of doing so, you're wearing casual clothes! You disgust me! All of you!'' Spike, who noticed the buffet, stepped toward it while insulting the others, '' For Discord's sake I mean...Do you really know what the true meaning of Ponyween is? Back in the day, the first ponies were celebrating it by offering stuff to dead people, not asking for diabetes!'' Spike put several canapes in his mouth, chewed them grossly, took a glass of pink ponche and poured everything in his throat, '' Shit even the ponche taste like shit! You should be ashamed of yourself! You do not respect the rules of Ponyween, you have no costumes, no decoration, and the food taste like nothing! Where is the sugar, the chocolate, the sweet palm oil, the chemical sweeteners! All the things that make us go to the hospital because it is bad for our health! Where is the children's happiness when they open their bag filled with candy ?! Where is your humanity ?!
Spike recognized Rumble thanks to his cop sunglasses so he approached him, '' You do not deserve the right to wear them, you who is not wearing a costume!'' Spike violently removed the glasses from Rumble's nose, except that the gesture was so violent that it tore his nose away. Seeing that his friend's nose was still hooked on the glasses, Spike took it delicately and put it back in place, but it was useless because the nose fell right after.
Spike looked at the nose and then vomited all he had just eaten. His vomit was pink and slimy, but the worst part was when he saw his vomit take the shape of a mouth, '' Girls...He vomited me!''
Spike raised his head from the talking vomit and saw the stage where Vinyl played music, he walked to her, searched his special Ponyween record box, found the coveted CD with only mash written on it, removed it from its box, placed it in turntable and played it.
... Mash
I was working in my office, late one night
He did the mash, he did the human mash
Spike stopped the music and headed for the hole in the wall. He stomped toward the hole when suddenly a phantom pirate passed through him without even paying attention to him, '' Look what the mistresse just gave me!'' Nobody reacted to the ghost's call, ''What's wrong?'' The tiny ghost turned to see Spike who was whiter than white, '' Eh! It's mister Spike!''
Spike observed the ghost silently then a gust of wind opened a window, extinguishing the candles, leaving only the light of the moon that revealed the true nature of the party animals. Skeletons, Vampires, Slime, Weretimberwolf and other indescribable horrors, This the true face of the inhabitants of Ponyville.
'' Uh,'' Spike jumped out of the window to escape the monster-infested castle.
''GO CATCH HIM RAINBOW!'' Witch Twilight ordered.
''ON IT!'' Skeleton Wonderbolt Rainbow unfolded her bony wings and jumped through the window to catch him.
'' SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTT!!!''
Spike thought the fall was going to be painful ... and it was painful as he passed through the roof of a church. He lies down for several seconds before getting up thanks to a board, '' Faust must hate me!''
''I bet she does!'' Rainbow said, standing in front of the door.
You cannot enter Faust's house, you puny bitch!''
'' I'm a zombie, not a vampire! That kind of shit doesn't work on me!'' Rainbow replied as she walked into the church.
''FAUST DAMNIT!'' Spike blasphemed.
''TIME TO DIE!'' Rainbow made a gigantic leap at Spike who smirked.
''Dodge technic number 5: barrel roll!''
''What?!'' Spike made a barrel roll, passing below Rainbow's bony body, which crashed at the foot of the wooden cross, disrupting its balance, ''Oh Faust no!'' Rainbow tried to flee but the cross fell on her, shattering her entire body, sparing only her head which rolled to Spike's feet.
''To be or not to be? That is the question?'' Spike said, mocking her.
''I'll kill you for this!'' Rainbow threatened.
''HOLY SHIT YOU'RE STILL ALIVE!'' Spike shouted in surprise
''Yeah! But you, you're not supposed to! We killed you a year ago!'' Rainbow added.
''Dead?'' Spike touched his torso repeatitly, ''Well, I'm not dead so sorry for the false hope!''
''The queen will have your head on a silver plate, meat boy!"
''Yeah, yeah, don't give a fork! Now it's time to play some good old soccer!'' Spike said as he put her head down.
''What?! Oh no you don't!'' Rainbow tried to move away from him but when we are just a head without a body, we can't do shit.
''Don't lose you head!'' Spike was about to strike Rainbow when the church floor opened beneath him, knocking him into is bowels.
''SHIIIIIIIIIITTTTTT!''
Witch Twilight accompanied by her friends, The nightmare 5 composed of Slime Pinkie, WereTimberwolf Applejack, Rarity Succubus and Vampire Rabbit Fluttershy (she's a vampire but with rabbit ears) were marching towards the throne room, where their queen of evil dominated the kingdom.
''Are you really sure this is a good idea?'' Vampire Rabbit Fluttershy asked in a fearful tone.
''You got a better idea, my dear rabbit!'' Succubus Rarity added while scratching the chin of a gargoyle guard.
'' Calm down, Sugar cube! Spike's a little lamb and we are big bad Timberwolves!'' WereTimberwolf Applejack calmed her rabbit friend.
''Talk for yourself! It's not you who went to his stomach! Vodka and chocolate liquor are not made to be together!'' Slime Pinkie said, taking the shape of a bottle of vodka.
''SILENCE!'' Witch Twilight yelled using her voice, '' Our queen must be made aware of the situation if she finds out by herself, we are dead! It's the only for us to get out of this mess alive!'' All her friends were silent, so Twilight turned and hesitated before knocking on the door of the throne room, ''OH, for the love of Faust!'' Twilight was about to knock on the door when a pale hand with hooked black nails grabbed her by the wrist.
Twilight recognized the hand and froze with fear, ''What's wrong, my dear student? Did some wrong happened during the party? Is everything okay?
''O-of course, m-my queen! Everything is doing just fine!'' Witch Twilight lied.
'' Oh really? Then so why do all my subjects talk about a human in my realm? " Twilight realized she fucked up.
''A human? AHAHAHAH you silly-SPLASH!'' Slime Pinkie exploded because of the spell cast by the black queen, her pink remains melted away, leaving nothing of her behind.
'' SO I am a liar?!'' The queen asked while her subjects trembles with fear.
'' Why did you do this?!'' Succubus Rarity asked, shocked by her friend's death.
'' So now you question my actions, my choices! I thought you were faithful to me! After all, it was you who exterminated the last hunter, including your friend Spike!''
'' Indeed but,''
'' THERE IS NO BUT!!! THIS MAN IS DEAD SO WHY ARE YOU SCARE OF A GHOST FROM THE PAST?'' The queen shouted using her royal voice.
'' This ghost, as you said ma queen, was alive because Pipsqueak passed through him like a hot knife through butter. He even confused Pinkie with ponche! Even the lamest Hunter would know the difference between slime and ponche! This is not our Spike!'' WereTimberwolf Applejack answered.
''Alive?'' The queen was confused, she opened the door of the throne room, advancing towards her throne and sat down without saying anything.
Witch Twilight knelt before her and spoke to her, ''Do not worry my queen, Rainbow Dash is now probably devouring his body!''
'' You've sent this empty skull to kill him? I thought you were smarter than this! It needs a hunter to take down a hunter!'' The dark queen insulted.
'' What do you mean, my queen?'' Celestia pointed her finger at the ceiling, all stared and saw a skeleton attached with chains. This skeleton was the one of the last hunter, Spike Hellsing Drake.
'' Impossible!'' Succubus Rarity said.
''Watch and learn!'' With a swept of her wand, she untied the chains, and the skeleton crashed to the ground, breaking it into pieces.
''Great! Now we're boned!'' WereTimberwolf Applejack joked.
''Bruadar, tha an sealg a ’feitheamh riut!'' She cast a spell on the remains of the skeleton that reformed completely, giving life back to the one who was called the hunter. Once again alive but under the control of the Black Queen, he was nothing more than a puppet without a soul, '' Now your outfit and your weapons! ''
With a snap of a finger, a servant brought her the hunter's outfit and his weapons, a blunderbuss and a simple silver sword, ideal against monsters, '' Now hunt my dear, hunt for your queen!''
Spike picked up his weapons and set out to hunt down the most difficult target of all, himself.
The nightmare before the Drake
3.Spooky scary Ponyween Spirit.3
'' SHIIIIIIIIITTTTTTT-SPLASH!'' Spike, in his fall, plunged into a sort of underground river spared by the Smooze. Although harmless, the Smooze degrades everything it touches.
''Sweet! Now I'm wet and lost underground, I'm living the dream!'' Spike came out of the water and discovered an old abandoned tunnel, ''Nope! I'm pretty sure that if I go inside I'll be killed by a psychopath wearing a gas mask and armed with a pickaxe!'' Spike said, wringing his jacket.
Several planks of wood fell behind him into the water, frightening him, forcing him to flee into the tunnel, '' Psychopath here I come!'' Spike was walking in total darkness with no way of knowing how deep the tunnel was. He continued to walk to the very end of the tunnel which turned out to be a Dead end.
'' Well, it's official, I'm going to die here!'' Spike sat down in distress at his imminent end when suddenly he noticed relief on the dead-end, '' The hell is that ?! '' Spike put his right hand on the dead-end and the reliefs began to glow, triggering a hidden mechanism thus opening the dead-end in two.
''Nice!'' Spike entered the secret room and discovered that it was actually a sort of base for a secret organization as in spy movies. Inside this room, there were sketches, diagrams, prototypes of complex weapons like a sword that became a hammer or a saw that became a bigger saw or a sword that became a bigger sword. Training dummies in the form of monsters, as well as a wall covered with names including his, and some of them were stripped. Spike went to the wall and read several names, '' Garble, Button, Lyra...Ember!'' Spike was silent in front of the names of people he knows, but who in this world were no more. Spike stepped back and,
CRACK
This crackle-glazed his blood, he looked down and spotted bones, human bones gnawed by rats and time, those bones belonged to his former friends. He watched the bones in terror as he heard another crack, he looked up, and saw himself standing in front of him, '' The Tartarus?''
Evil Spike unsheathed his blunderbuss and fired at Spike who barely dodged it, "FUCK!" Evil Spike threw his blunderbuss on the ground and unsheathed his silver sword that caught fire in his hands, "I want the same!"
Evil Spike swung his sword toward Spike, creating blades of fire which were just as fatal as the blade itself. Spike could not defend himself against Such a weapon so he stepped back until he stumbled on a bone, making him fall And crash against a dresser, knocking a bottle of holy water down beside him. Evil Spike seeing his helpless enemy, stabbed him in the shoulder to stabilize him. '' ARGGHHHH!!! '' Once stable, he went to get his blunderbuss to finish with Spike. He picked it up, reloaded it with the bones of his old comrades and black powder before arming the hammer. He turned to Spike, who threw him a bottle of holy water in his face, "you looked thirsty!"
The holy water melted the right side of Evil Spike's face, revealing a skeleton, '' You're one ugly motherfucker! '' Evil Spike locked Spike with his blunderbuss, but before he could fire, Spike pulled the sword from his shoulder and sank it into the blunderbuss's cannon, Evil Spike fired right after, causing the blunderbuss to explode, projecting them both back.
'' Cough-Cough, I must stop playing the hero!'' Spike got up and moving towards himself, Evil Spike was motionless, his right arm was missing an arm, and a piece of his sword had lodged near his heart. Spike approached his face close to his to see if he was still breathing when suddenly Evil Spike grabbed him by the throat, '' SHIIIIIITTTTT!!!''
Evil Spike was looking at him with his red eyes when suddenly they became green again, '' Tell me, hunter, did I succeed? Did I avenged them?'' Hunter Spike turned his head to see the many bones on the ground, ''Oh I see... I wasn't alone, we were many...(deep breath)...We've fought them...we were friends....but now...we are foes. Tell me, young man...Did...did the spirit come? Did it destroy her wand? Did it saved Ponyween?''
''Sorry, but I'm new here,'' Spike replied.
''I see...Do you believe in the spirit of Ponyweenl?'' Hunter Spike asked.
'' Sorry, but I'm not very fond of Ponyween!''
'' What? Why?''
''I don't remember the cause, but I can tell you that for me, Ponyween and its spirit are nothing more than words and fake ass costumes! Nothing in this celebration is sacred for me anymore!'' Hunter Spike squeezed Spike harder,
You must believe in Ponyween! I've failed to bring it back...(deep breath)...But...but you must succeed where I failed! You must save Ponyween...say the words of Ponyween with all your soul and the evil will be broken forever ... You must not let your past haunt you all your life ... You must break the curse ...You must break her wand...The spirit must come back .. .deep breath ... Ponyween must live... Promise me ... promise me that you will save this world for me! Promise me! " Hunter Spike begged, his eyes filled with tears.
'' You have my word, Sweet prince of the hunt!'' Hunter Spike shed tears of joy before raising his arm. "I'm coming, my friends!" Hunter Spike then disintegrated into dust, leaving his coat behind. Spike put it on him as a souvenir and in an inside pocket, found a photograph and a key. He looked at the picture and saw Hunter Spike surrounded by his friends, '' Rest in peace, the hunt is over! '' He put the picture away, returned to the wall of the dead, took a stone and scratched his name from the wall. Subsequently, he searched deeper and found a safe with the initials SHD near a ladder, '' You must be her boyfriend! '' He opened the chest with the key, and in the trunk was the most powerful weapon of the hunters: The Monster Slayer, a massive double-barreled shotgun firing hollow bullets filled with holy water, perfect for eradicating an evil queen.
''GROOVY!'' Spike then climbed the ladder, which led to the well next to the church, '' Finally, some fresh air! ''
'' Move faster, you dumb Jell-O blob!'' Spike was surprised to see the skeleton wonderbolt Rainbow riding a little green Smooze, '' The fuck! ''
''BLUUUUU!''' The Smooze got scared of Spike so the Smooze slipped away, dropping Rainbow's skull, '' Come back here you shitty-
SMASH
Spike crushed Rainbow's skull which exploded like an overripe watermelon.
''Language! You Spooky Scary Skelecunt!'' Spike then looked at the flying castle, ''how am I going to enter the castle? Waiting for it to land? Not too long! I can not fly at least not yet and I'm pretty sure the rifle is not powerful enough to make it crash. HMMMMM HMMMMMMMM I'm in quite a pickle! ''
That's wh en Spike notices the little Smooze was at his feet, ''The fuck you want?'' The Smooze moved his body as if to say follow me asshole, '' 'Kay,''
Spike followed the little Smooze into the surrounding forest and that's how he noticed that more and more little Smooze was following him, "I hope you know where you're going, little one!" The Smooze stopped in front of a big green lake, "A green lake, I do not see how it will help me kill the queen bitch!"
''SMOOOOOOOOOZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEEE!''
A loud roar was heard, forcing Spike to unsheathe The Monster Slayer, '' WHO' S THERE ?! '' All of a sudden, the lake stirred and a gigantic gelatinous mass appeared in front of Spike, '' It can not be! '' The mass was no ordinary gelatine, it was the one and only SMOOZE!
''Smooze!'' The Smooze created a top hat in jelly.
''Smooze? Why are so giant? Do not tell me that little blobs are your children?'' Spike asked.
''Smooze!'' Smooze nodded.
''Okay! Smooze I need your help! I must get into the castle of the queen but I do not know how to do? You think you can- ''
Smooze swallowed Spike and spat him towards the castle, ''HEEEEELP MEEEEE-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!''
Spike approached the castle at full speed before crashing against a stained glass window, but fortunatly for him, he landed in Twilight's room, more precisely on her bed, "I knew she had a room at the castle!" Spike got out of bed and saw that the walls of Twilight's room were covered with photos of Celestia, "She really has a problem!"
''La lala lalalala lala!'' Twilight came out of her personal bathroom and saw spike trying her hat, '' WHAT THE-''
BOOM
Spike fired a cartridge which exploded Twilight's head, killing her ... duh. She took a few steps before falling to the ground, letting her blood spill onto the floor. Spike was shocked to see the effectiveness of The Monster Slayer in action, he looked at her body while still wearing her hat and gave her the finger, '' That's for telling all your friends I was adopted! Now, where I can find the Queen?''
''RIGHT BEHIND YOU!''
''SON OF A-'' The queen blasted him with her wand, knocking him down. The queen looked at him with a grin then glaced at her student's body, ''What a shame! You won't be with us for the party of Ponyween! AAHAHAHAAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHHA!!!''
''BITCH!'' Spike woke up in the middle of the ballroom where all the monsters looked at him with disgust, mischief, but also with fear because they knew what they were capable of, '' The fuck you lookin 'at!''
''HISSSSSSSS!'' Fluttershy hissed in front of Spike as a bully, but you can not be afraid when the enemy has Rabbit ears.
''I can do it too! HISSSSSSSS!!''
''AAAHHHH!'' Fluttershy hid behind WereTimberwolf Applejack.
''Pussy!'' Spike insulted.
''Stop it, girls! Don't be rude to my very special guest!'' The queen ordered.
'' Yeah, she's right! Show me some res-oh my Faust you're hot!'' Spike's gaze dipped on the queen who was wearing a black dress highlighting her most sensual curves, in other words, she was extra thick!
'' Why did I promise to myself that I was going to tear you off your fucking head and then shit in your neck ?!'' Spike lamented.
''My monstrous subjects, I present to you today the vestige of the past, a weak being believing in a stupid idea of formerly, a person not being able to think by itself, feeling obliged to fulfill the dreams of a hunter having failed to kill me! And yes, you probably thought I did not have an eye on my beast? I must admit that It was a good fight and then the way you arrived at my castle with the Smooze was fantastic! I must admit that you impress me, little one! But now your time is up and-''
The black queen was speaking to Spike but he wasn't listening, he was focused on one thing; a clown giving away candy to children, except to a child who was with his parents, the child seemed to be afraid of him, the Clown, seeing that, approached the boy with a lollipop in the shape of a pumpkin. The boy hesitated to take it, he looked at his parents who smiled affectionately, he took the lollipop, and the clown pressed his nose, making a noise that made the child laugh.
HONK HONK
''HEY! Are you listening to me? How rude of you!'' The queen pointed out.
''The clown,''
''What do you mean by ''the clown''?'' The queen asked.
''why do you give treats to children? Why do you give them treats while you gave me tricks!''
It was the electroshock for Spike who finally understood the hunter's words, but for that, he had to relive his first Ponyween.
Flashback
Ponyween, 1999
The streets were full of children dressed as vampires, zombies, ninjas, and not in Fortnite skin. But among all these children, a group interposes us, there were six young girls all dressed as princess except one wearing a wonderbolt jacket and a small boy of 4 wearing a conquistador costume.
The girls went faster than the little boys because of his tiny legs but also because of his bag full of sweets.
'' Wait for me, girls! '' Said the little boys in a weak voice.
But the girls left without him, leaving him alone in the dark night.
''Girls...where are you?'' The little boy was alone, with no way to defend himself against possible aggressors. That when the devil appeared.
''Well, well, well! What have we here? Hola Pepsi cola!'' Asked a dark voice,
Spike turned and saw the most terrifying being of all time, a clown, '' Why are you doing here all alone, little boy!'' The clown said with a funny voice.
''Today's Ponyween! I have a lot of candy in my bag!'' Spike replied, opening his bag and revealing a shit tone of treats.
''WOUAH!!! You must have your weight in candy? But tell me, it's not too heavy for such a small boy as you?'' The clown asked
''You think?'' Spike added.
''Yes! It would be an honor to help you get rid of your bag! Give it to me! Give your bag to Funzo the Clown!'' Funzo tried to take the bag away from Spike's hands but the little boy stepped back.
''NO! Those are my sweets! You can't have them!'' Spike stick his tongue at the clown, which annoyed him.
"GIVE ME YOUR TREATS!'' Funzo yelled with a darker voice.
''NOOOOO!!!'' Spike cried.
'' Have it your way!'' The clown took out a frying pan from one of his pockets and hit it on the head with it, knocking him down.
''Thanks for the sweets HOHOHOHOHOH!!!'' The Clown went away laughing.
1 hours later
Spike slowly woke up from his micro-coma, he searched for his candy bag and could not find it. He rolled his eyes and saw that the moon was above him and that it must be very late then.
He got up and went back home where his parents were waiting for him, they asked him for an explanation, but he could not say anything because he had forgotten everything. His parents had no choice but to punish him, they deprived him of childhood, joy, laughter, memories, they deprived him of Ponyween.
They then made him go up to his room without him being able to taste the sweet taste of a piece of candy. Before his parents closed the door of his room, the last image of the outside world he saw was Twilight being covered with sweets by his big brother Shining Armor in a regimental costume of the Royal Guard.
Tears ran down on Spike's cheek while he was cursing that day, he never wanted to hear about that unjust day again. That day for him was nothing but misfortune, sadness, and hatred, he abandoned childhood and entered the cold and cruel world of adulthood, '' I HATE PONYWEEEEEEENNNNNNNN! ''
End of the flashback
Tears ran down on Spike's cheeks, who finally remembered the origin of his hatred of Ponyween.
''You cry? Why are you crying?'' The dark queen asked Spike.
'' The clown...the clown...the clown tricked me by stealing my treats and...'' The queen interrupted him by laughing at him.
'' So you're crying because you didn't eat sweets on Ponyween! This is hilarious!''
All the monsters laughed at Spike's woes, who had his regard on a piece of candy at his feet. He picked it up and looked at it puzzled, "The clown tricked him by stealing my-" He remembered the hunter's words which were now clear in his mind.
''AHAHAHHAHA! Ooooh, the last time I laughed this hard was when I killed my sister by pushing her from her broom when she was young. Anyway! "Celestia picked up her wand and pointed it on Spike's forehead," Any last words? "
'' Yes, my queen! Trick or treat?!'' After saying it's 3 words, the queen's smile faded to give way to fear in her eyes.
'' What did you say?! You mere mortal!''' The queen asked with fear in her voice.
'' Oh I'm sorry! I'll say it louder; Trick or treat?!'' The castle began to shake, the walls started to crack, and the queen stepped back and her subjects did not understand why she was backing away from a being at her mercy.
'' Silence! Say no more! You have no right to say those forbidden words!'' The Queen threatened Spike with her wand but her hands were shaking in fear.
LIKE YOU TO GOUVERN! TRICK OR-''
''SILENCE!!!'' The queen then cast a spell that mused Spike, who then tossed his sweets to the little ghost pirate.
''TREAT!'' The pirate took the candy and showed it to the queen, '' Is it for me? ''
Angry, the queen took the candy and crushed it between her fingers, "NEVER! NO TRICK OR TREAT FOR YOU AND-'' The queen then put both hands on her mouth to stop but it was too late, she had just pronounced the forbidden words, "Oh shit!"
There was a great silence then the roof of the castle was torn off by a giant, headless scarecrow.
'' I'M A MUFFi-SPLAH'' Muffin Derpy was crushed under a fragment of the roof, spilling blueberry juice on Spike.
"DERPY NO!'' Spike shouted.
The headless scarecrow stood in front of the white moon which turned orange with big sharp black eyes and a sharp Machiavellian smile.
'' WHO DARES TO REFUSE TREATS TO AN INNOCENT CHILD ON THE DAY OF PONEYWEEN?!'' Yelled the scarecrow.
'' Her'' Spike pointed the queen who was paralyzed by fear
'' GRRRR And who are ya to question us!'' WereTimberwolfApplejack borked.
'' I AM THE SHADOW ON THE MOON AT NIGHT! I AM THE ONE HIDING UNDER YOUR BED! I AM THE ONE HIDING UNDER YOUR STAIRS! I AM THE WHO WHEN YOU CALL WHO THERE?! I AM THE SMILE ON EVERY PUMPKIN! I E ONE WHO SCARES CHILDREN AT NIGHT! I AM THE WHO SCARES YOU! I AM THE SPIRIT OF PONYWEEEEEENNNNNNNN!''
'' HOLY SHIT YOU'RE REAL!!!'' Spike shouted.
''DAMN STRAIGHT I'M REAL! NOW LET ME ASK YOU A TINY LITTLE QUESTION, FAKE QUEEN!'' The spirit of Ponyween brought his pumpkin head closer to one of the queen, '' TRICK OR TREAT?''
'' T- t- tr-'' The queen could no longer speak, all she had left was fear in her.
''WELL? I'M LISTENING!'' The spirit looked at the queen in her eyes and saw the fear in it then he noticed the candy fragments at his feet, '' TRICK IT IS! ''
''NO WAIT!''
'' BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!'' The spirit spits green flames on the queen who used Vampire Rabbit Fluttershy as a monster shield but the flames burned them both.
'' AAAAAAARRRRRRGHRRRRRRRRR!!!'' The queen and Vampire Rabbit Fluttershy screamed in pain in front of her subjects who didn't help her. The queen And her Shields then collapsed on the floor, leaving nothing but hot ashes.
''Holy fuck!'' Spike said traumatized.
The spirit looked at the remaining monsters, and removed the top of its skull, releasing an infernal tornado, sucking the monsters for eternal rest, '' TIME TO SAY GOODBYE! ''
''NO I DON'T WANT TO GO!'' Shouted succubus Rarity who tried to fly away but only to get caught by the spirit, ''ARGH!''
''TIME TO DIG IN!'' The spirit swallowed her before spitting back her wings.
All the monsters tried to flee but it was hardly lost, the tornado sucked them all and those trying to defend it, were pierced by chains before being pulled by force in its skull.
''NOOOOOO AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!'' WereTimberwolfApplejack tried to resist the chains by gripping the ground with all her strengths, but in the end, only half of her was free of judgment.
''I'M FLYING!!!'' Pipsqueak changed into a will-o'-the-wisp before disappearing into the tornado that had sucked in the whole castle and all its inhabitants except Spike.
The Spirit looked at Spike with a smile on its pumpkin face and said with sadness, ''THANK YOU FOR BELIEVING IN ME! BUT NOW, I HAVE TO GO! SEE YOU NEXT PONYWEEN!''
''NOOOOO!!'' The spirit took its head and threw it on Spike, which exploded in a blinding light.
'' NOOOOO!'' Spike woke up at his house, covers in sweat, "It was just a dream, Spike. It was just a dream! I need a drink''
Spike went to the kitchen to satisfy his liquid needs when he saw a smiling Jack-o'-lantern on the worktop with a strange long bundle next to it, he opened it, revealing a leather coat and a double-barreled shot-gun, '' it can not be! '' Spike searched the coat and found a picture, the picture of the hunter with this time a strange scarecrow with a pumpkin head, he looked at the scarecrow and had the impression that the scarecrow winked at him, '' I did it, my friend, I did it! But now, it's my turn to face my own evil queen! " Spike then put on the coat, took the rifle, and went to the party.
The nightmare before the Drake
'' This the best Ponyween party of my life!!!'' Pinkie cheered while dancing with the Smooze who was killing it on the dance, eh eh, dance you sexy blob.
'' I wonder who could spoil a party like this?'' Fluttershy added.
Spike kicked the door open, and he entered the room, wearing the hunter's coat and with a huge bag of candies, lollipops, chocolates and other sweetnesses that were good for the heart.
''SPIKE! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU-'' Spike interrupted her by hitting her on the face, breaking her nose, ''AAAAARGHHHH!''
Twilight was kneeling in tears in front of Spike who put the bag in front of her then took her by the collar of her witch's cloak, '' Make it come! ''
'' What are you talking about?!'' Twilight asks in tear.
''THE CLOOOOWNNN! MAKE HIM COME!!!''
HONK HONK HONK
Spike tensed with anger and turned slowly to face his sworn enemy.
'' Well well well! What have we here? Hola Pepsi Cola! Do you remember me? Because I remember you!'' The clown danced, '' You are the little kid to whom I took the sweets long ago! Because of me, you've never tasted the sweet taste of a piece of candy!''
''TASTE THIS MOTHERFUCKER!'' Spike took out The Monster Slayer from the bag and pointed it toward the clown.
'' What'' The clown said with a normal voice instead of the dark one.
Boom
Spike fired at the clown that was thrown at the buffets, covering him with cakes and other sweets, '' TRICK OR TREAT FUCK BOY! ''
'' How do you like my sweets now, bitch! '' Everyone was shocked by Spike's crime but for him it was not a crime, it was a punishment, '' Now it's time to reveal who is the dickhead behind this makeup?!''
''Spike moved toward the body and took the clown's green wig, revealing his true identity who was none other than ... '' Bro ?! '' The clown was, in reality, Shining Armor, Spike's brother.
Spike looked at his brother than at the wig than at his brother again, '' Oh my Faust...Shining was possessed by the evil wig of an evil clown!''
'' Shining was not possessed by the wig, Spike! I knew you were going to have more candies than me at Ponyween so I asked Shining to get you candy to give them to me! He always gave me his sweets when I was still a little princess! And now he's dead! " Twilight explained
Spike looked at his sister with disgust, '' Fucking Sparkle piece of shit!''
Then a bell rang, meaning the end of Ponyville, ''You heard that my friends, Ponyville is now over! It only means one thing! Christmas is coming soon!'' Spike pulled out a Christmas Santa hat from his coat and put it on his head, "It's time to party and I know what to do!" Spike took a piece of candy from his dead brother's body and swallowed it, '' Mmmmm It is the best fucking candy of my life! I want more! "Spike began to devour the covered by the blood of his brother treats under the shocked looks of his friends, his family, and Discord who filmed the scene," So much youtube money! "
''Man, tonight Pinkie's wearing her sexy clown! I can't wait to see it!'' Fallout entered the room with Dragonius. Fallout was dressed as a clown in purple tuxedo and Dragonius was dressed as an old grey sorcerer with a pointy hat and a big, long beard.
''Last Time I saw my dear white, She was wearing a sexy demon costume! Hmmm, I can't wait to Ask her some treats!" Dragonius said while high fiving Fallout.
"But I wonder how Spike going? He hates Ponyween And-" Fallout stopped talking When he saw Spike Eating sweets on his brother's dead body.
The screen was getting dark except around Spike who was in a round, '' That's all Folks! ''
The nightmare before the Drake
Ponyween!!! The Scariest celebration of all time that all the little children look forward to, at this time of the year, kids are wearing scary costumes to scare adults. They go treat or tricking in the cold streets of Ponyville and end up having a type 2 diabetes because of all the sugary shits they eat that night.
Sugary shits they must eat in no time, otherwise, Christopher lee will toss them in the fireplace (Dentist bastard). Everypony loves Ponyween but one wicked boy.
Why is he mad at Ponyween ? Perhaps he was not allowed to eat sweets, or maybe his bitch of a sister told him he was so ugly that the necessity of a mask for him was none. Perhaps he was left alone in a haunted mansion, or a child-eating clown tried to molest him, shit I do not know! Anyway, this child's name is Spike Drake, and he doesn't know it yet, but he's going to live one hell of a Ponyween thanks to a very spooky tree.
And now, music!
DOOM
DOOM DOOM DOOM
DOOM
DOOM DOOM DOOM
DOOM
DOOM DOOM DOOM
Close up on the Apple barn when suddenly Big Mac opened the door disguised as Timberwolf with Applejack by his side.
Ponies and Griffins of every age
Come with us and you will see
Then Applebloom came out of the house disguised as a sexy Ponyween Jack-o'-lantern.
This is Ponyween, this is Ponyween
''APPLE BLOOM!'' Applejack shouted.
''What!''
Granny Smith dressed as a clown with a black face pushed Apple Bloom out of her way and walked toward the central square of Ponyville.
This is Ponyween, everybody makes a scene
All the inhabitants were decorating their houses in one thousand horrifying ways. Rumble, now dressed as a zombie cop, was doing the same thing but with stolen pieces of evidence from his work,
I am the one putting you in jail
While at Button's mom's house, his mother was putting on her sexy nun's costume while Button was playing Dead by Daylight,
I am the one hiding in your mom's basement
Rarity now disguised as a succubus, just like her sister, closed her shop and walked towards the square so that everyone can admire her beauty,
Ponyween! Ponyween!Ponyween!Ponyween!
But on the square, Mayor Mare shouted at the workers so that the preparations go faster,
In this town, don't we love it now?
Round that corner, Discord hiding in the trash can
Two discord and the smooze came out of the trash can
Scream! This is Halloween
Aren't you scared?
Flim and Flam arrive in town with new shits for sale,
Well, that's just fine
Iron Bull, just as he usual, screamed,
Everybody weak, everybody weak
Bulk Bicep joined him,
In our town of Ponyween! YEAHHHH!!!
Then a clown armed a frying pan looked at the camera with a disgusting grin,
I am the clown with the big pan
Derpy disguised as a muffin looked at herself in a puddle,
I am the "muffin" when you call, "Muffin time"
The camera turned to the moon and a shadow appeared,
I am the shadow on the moon at night
This is Ponyween, this is Ponyween
The Cake twins were carving pumpkins, Pumpkin was making a scary face while Pound was drawing a penis in the pumpkin's flesh,
Sugar sweet everywhere
Pound interrupted his sister,
PENIS
Mr. Cake laughed at the stupidity of his son,
That's our job, we're just so sweet
But his wife took her rolling pin to hit him,
In our town of Ponyween
Twilight, disguised as a sexy witch greeted the crowd,
In this town. Don't we love me now?
The rest of the Mane 6 pulled a wooden horse mounted by a sexy scarecrow, Pinkie was dressed as a sexy harlequin. Rainbow was dressed as a sexy zombie Wonderbolt and Fluttershy was dressed as a sexy rabbit.
Sunlight Celestia might hug you in the back
The sexy scarecrow began to dance and then flew into the sky, pulling her clothes out.
This is Ponyween, this is Ponyween,
Pipsqueak disguised as a pirate looked up at the sky while being cuddled by a crying Luna because no one gives a fuck about her,
In this town we call home
Celestia then descended from heaven disguised as a ultra sexy witch and greeted her people,
La la la la-la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la dat ass laaaaaaaa
Everypony were applauding the princess when Spike suddenly opened the window of his kitchen and shouted,
''SHUT THE FUCK UP! I'm trying to watch a fucking movie here!!!''
Everypony seemed shocked by Spike's reaction but Celestia ignored him and yelled, using her royal voice, ''COME WITH ME CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! COME WITH ME TO MY CASTLE TO CELEBRATE PONYWEEN!''
''YEAAAAAHHHHH!'' The crowd cheered their beloved princess and all went to her castle for the party.
Meanwhile, Spike was watching Ponyween of Cohn Jarpenter, alone in the dark with as sole companion seven boxes of chocolate liquor, ''Ah Maurie! I wish I was you so Licheal could kill me, ending my shitty life once and for all!''
Spike took a box of chocolate, opened it, took one chocolate, crunched the tip and drank the liquor inside "Hmm! That the stuff! I think I'll have another!''
Seven boxes later
Burp ''I remember that one night when I, ''burp,'' When I replaced Santa Claus because,'' burp, '' Because I wanted an ice cream and...Are you listening to me, Micheal? Licheal?'' Spike did not realize that his television was no longer there, earlier in the evening, he had thrown it through the window, the cause, his immense sadness ... or the fact that he is now completely drunk.
'' Sniff'' Never like that movie anyway!'' Sniff ''I need to walk far away from myself! But first a drink!''
''Vodka makes things easier,'' Burp ''But wait a second ... Today's Ponyween! I'' Burp ''need a costume!''
Spike made himself a pointy hat with a pizza box that was lying on his table, he put it on his head then cut two holes in a white tablecloth, and then put it all on him.
"Watch out!'' Burp ''I'm a terrible ghost." Spike took a sip of his drink without even bothering to remove the sheet.
"Burp" Now Spike, the night is waiting for you! Spike passes in front of a miroir without taking a look at his costume, then he stopped back And saw how political incorrect his costume is, ''Alright! Forget the costume! I'll go full metal myself!'' Spike removed his costume and came out of his house without even closing the door and started walking alone in the cold streets of Ponyville. He continued on his way, drinking all of his mixture without even realizing that he left the village to plunge himself into Everfree Forest.
Spike stop walking to finish his drink, ''Gloup, gloup gloup,'' Once done, he looked inside the container and says with a sad voice, '' Now I'm all alone, even the booze left me!''
He threw his empty drink on the ground, then looked around and realized he was in the most cursed forest of all time, the night of Ponyween, '' SCOREEEEEEE!!!''
Spike stood still then his belly began to gurgle, '' Oh, Why did I '' burp'' why did I mix vodka and chocolates?!'' Spike abstained himself from shitting in his pants. He began to run in the hope of finding the WC for humans because everybody knows that nature is the WC of animals.
''SHIT SHIT SHIT ARGHHHHH!!!'' Spike banged himself against a tree, '' WHO PUT A TREE THERE?!'' Spike stood up and saw that the tree had a pumpkin-shaped door with a sad smile instead of a happy grin. At first, Spike was confused, then he looked around him and saw that the other trees had doors under the shape of celebrations symbols like eggs, a heart, and a beer mug with a strange, cubic mustache.
"Burp" "I don't know who's the guy responsible for this, but he has some time to lose"
Spike looked at the pumpkin door and a diabolical grin appeared on his face. He opened the door, lowered his pants and sat down on the edge, ''Trick or,''Hardly he had his ass on the edge, the tree sucked Spike inside it, '' THREAAAAATTTTS!!!''
The door then closed as if nothing had happened.
''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!'' Spike was falling into some kind of endless well , but every thing has an end and Spike crashed into a pumpkin field.
''OUUUCHHHH! Man those pumpkins are weak as...oh forget it, these are skulls, human skulls!'' Spike got up with difficulty and discovered the new world around him. Everything was dark, ravaged, destroyed, charred, a true nightmare.
A true nightmare which amazed Spike,
What's this? What's this?
Spike went to the dark village, And went future in his analyses, "Fuck even Ponyville can't beat a good old economic crisis!'' He continued wandering the village, making more and more horrifying discoveries, '' No, it can't be! The cake finally burned their shop for the insurance money! I LOVED THEIR CHOCOLATE GEMSED CROISSANTS! YOU SON OF A BITCH! WHY WHYYYY WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!'' Spike cried all the tears of his body when suddenly he heard music coming from Celestia's castle.
HE DID A MASH! HE DID A...MASH
''Wait a sec...I know this music...THOSE BASTARD ARE LISTENING TO MY FAVORITE SONG WITHOUT ME! UNACCEPTABLE!!!'' Spike picked up a piece of wood that was lying on the floor, wrapped his shirt around it and lit it with a stone, creating a torch.
''Those punks are going to answer to me!'' He looked at the castle, which was darker and twisted than usual, "Yep, I can almost hear the old, evil music and the thunder striking the tip of the castle. Well, time to go!''
And so Spike went to the castle in search of answers, but little did he not know that the answers he would receive weren't those he hoped for.
Author's Note
What Have I done?!
