A sign from above

by Thearbiter2

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy
Length: 617

A boy with a terrible life gets an unexpected surprise.

Ash Williams is a normal 25 year old high school drop out. His life slowly turning to shit he decides its time to end it all. One day when he holds the barrel of his pistol against his head he receives an unexpected package that changes his life forever. FOREVER!!!!!!!!

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-15 23:52:08 UTC

The day my life changed

"Were letting you go."  The man in his 50's sat across the desk from Ash.  "Your kidding me right?  I'm the only person whose been in the kitchen the longest and your letting me go?"  Ash said and his boss nodded.  "Yea your not really living up to our standards plus with the whole laxative situation-"  "That wasn't me.  Why don't you fire jamie?  No one likes her!  Fire her not me!  I need this job!"  Ash's blood began to boil.

"I'm sorry but you gotta go."  The boss smiled and turned his chair around.  "You can leave now."  Ash stood up but he wasn't done yet.  He spun the chair around and slapped his boss in the face and flipped him off.  "Go to hell you cheap ass fuck!"  He kicked the desk making his Ex-boss jump.

After a two day drinking binge Ash groaned as sunlight hit his eyes.  He rubbed the stubble on his chin and slowly sat up.  Bottles rolled across the table.  Rum and gatorade.  His head pounded as he stumbled into the bathroom  His phone vibrated and he took it out of his pocket.  "Were done!  I'm SICK OF YOU!"  He saw and dropped the phone sinking down to the floor.  He dropped his phone and cupped his hands around his face.  He felt tears run down his face and he got up.  He grabbed a box from under his bed and took it out to the living room  He turned on the TV just as My little pony started.  The cheery theme song did nothing to cheer him up.  He opened the box and took out a Five-seveN pistol.  He spent over a thousand dollars on it and now it was going to do its job.

He put one bullet in the clip and rammed it home.  He pulled the slide back and checked the round was chambered.  The gun felt cold in his hot hands as he began to sweat.  He looked up at the TV and saw the ponies having fun on Nightmare night.  Luna seemed to look at the screen.  He'd never seen that before.  He pointed the barrel into his mouth and closed his lips around it.  He began to breath hard as he began to pull on the trigger.

The doorbell went off and he jumped throwing his gun onto the couch and grabbed his face.  Hot tears running down his face.  He got up and saw the Television was off.  Maybe he hit the remote when he threw the gun.  He wiped his eyes off and opened the door that lead into his tiny house.  A giant box sat in front of his door.  He examined it walking around it.

Ash picked it up and heard something move around.  He pulled it inside with a grunt and set it down.  He didn't see a return address but his address was on it.  He rubbed his head then something moved around in it again.  He took a step back then leaned in to try to peak inside.  Another noise from it and he saw what looked like eyes.  He jumped back again.  There's an animal in there.  He grabbed his knife and cut the side of the box open.  He pulled it down and he couldn't believe what he saw.

Inside princess Luna laid.  She stared at him and turned her head sideways.  They stared at each other and she slowly rose to her hooves.  "Where am i?"  She said and looked around as she left the box.  Ash stared in awe as the Princess walked around his living room.

"Uh... Your in Illinois."  She turned to him and spread her wings out as she stretched.  How long was she in there?  "I recall no place called Illinois."  Ash rubbed his head.  "Um how did you get inside that box?"  "Thou will not ask me another question until you tell your royal highness who thou art and what species thy be."  Ash rubbed the back of his head.  Today was going to be a long day.