Fast Ponies, Faster Fingers

by TheDriderPony

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Random, Main 6
Length: 11477

Sometimes an hour is not enough...

When one has the capability to bring whole worlds to life with the merest brush of their fingertips, there are some worlds which are created that... don't quite meet the mark. Collected here are the fragments of such worlds; snippets and glimpses into places and times that might have been.

Sophistry aside, this is a collection of my shorter works --most commonly the results of speed writing contests-- which I felt didn't quite have what it takes to be standalone published stories. Tags and characters will be attributed in each chapter, as will contest-specific details in their respective Author's Notes. Most stories are likely to be E for Everyone, but the story as a whole is tagged Tenn just to be on the safe side.

Published 2019-10-23 16:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-05-11 04:52:55 UTC

One Last Go-Round [Comedy] [CMC] [CMC Sisters]

“It’s just… just so hard to let go.” Scootaloo hung her head, her soaked mane hanging limply across her face.

“Then don’t!” Sweetie Belle cried, not for the first time. “Just hang on a little longer. I can fix this.”

“No. You can’t. We tried and we tried but we failed and now there’s nothing left.”

Scootaloo was tired. So tired. She’d been clutching at straws for so long that her hooves cramped in pain. She looked up at her childhood friend, noticing the moistness around her eyes.

“Hey, we had a good run, right? I had... fun. I’d like to think you did too. And... I want you to keep going.”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No! Don’t talk like that. I- I’m not going on without you. I can’t!”

“You can,” Scootaloo insisted, “You have to. Think of what Applebloom would say if she was here.”

She wiped away some of the water getting in her eyes and laughed, though the sound was hollow. “She’d say something uplifting. Something about the value of keeping on despite troubles. All wrapped up in a silly little countryism.”

They were silent for a time, letting no words escape as they thought of the friend they’d left behind. Scootaloo clenched her jaw in pain as more salty water ran down her muzzle. She’d have to go soon, that much she knew. But she could hold on a little longer.

“I know I’m not her, but I can try.” She took a deep breath. “Sweetie Belle. You’ve got a path ahead of you that only you can take. If I tried to come, I’d only hold you back and drag you down. I want you to promise me, no” --she cut off the impending interruption-- “let me finish. I want you to promise that, even after we part, you’ll go as far as you can. And when you get to where you’re going, you remember me. Remember me and Applebloom. Because I know you can do it and because I believe in you.”

“Scootaloo…” Sweetie Belle’s eyes twinkled like stars in the night. She tried to talk but found the words would not come. She swallowed hard and forced them out. “I- I promise. I’ll do it for you. I’ll do it for her. I’ll do it for us!”

Scootaloo smiled weakly. “There’s the Sweetie Belle I know.” She held out a hoof, though it wavered with barely the strength to stay aloft. “Cutie Mark Crusaders?”

A soft, white hoof met her orange one. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Forever.”

And Scootaloo let go.

~~o0o~~

“Bein’ awful dramatic, ain’t they?”

“Scoots especially. You haven’t been putting some kind of influence on her, have you?”

“Certainly not! Though I must agree that even Sweetie Belle is hamming it up a touch.”

The trio of sisters sat on bleachers arranged along the shore. Out at sea, Scootaloo slowly drifted as the current pulled her away. The rope she’d clutched to so tightly sagged down into the briny depths, waterlogged and weighty. Sweetie Belle cut it off as she struggled to keep the rest of her hoof-built boat from falling to pieces.

Applebloom yelled advice from the reef they’d briefly breached on, but her voice was lost in the surf and the sound of the crowd cheering for their own ramshackle-raft riding foals who were rapidly catching up to the Crusader’s early lead. Though it was the last lap and the finish line was in sight, with the oars gone and her vessel already dialing the combination for Davy Jones’ locker, the last Crusader’s chances looked grim.

“Ya think she’ll be able to pull it off?”

“I wish, but I fear not. That boat is done for and she’s not the strongest swimmer.”

“Yeah, even if they only need one team member to pass to win, I think Scoots might actually get there faster just by drifting that way.”

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Drifiting Away
Original Contest Date: October 6, 2019

Role Reversal [Comedy] [Human] [Teen?] [Applejack] [Anon] [Rarity]

“Ah hate this idea.”

“No you don’t.”

“Yes, Ah do.”

“Well… suck it up.” The tall biped with a viridian complexion adjusted the hat he’d stolen from her. “It’s tradition. And I know how much you care about tradition.”

“Yeah, my traditions. Ah couldn’t give a hoot about your monkey customs.”

Anon sighed and shook his head. She just didn’t get it. This wasn’t some mere tradition for the sake of preserving old ways. This was a man’s romance! The once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to fulfill a specific fantasy held by all men, and he knew he’d be the biggest fool to waste it.

A ways away from them, a horde of monsters thrashed impatiently, chomping at the bit to rip and tear and devour everything in their path. The only thing holding them back was the word of their master. A tall cloaked pony bearing an ominously glowing headpiece. Evil though he clearly was, Anon had to give him a certain amount of respect. The guy had style. That, and he was a stickler for maintaining the ‘Honor of the Battlefield' and as such had promised to not start the attack until Twilight and all of her friends were properly ready. Now if only he could get Applejack to see reason, they could get to the fighting.

“Look,” he reasoned, “You said I had a favor that I could call in anytime, anywhere, no questions asked. Or are you not a mare of your word?”

“Well… sure,” she agreed though she shook her head, “But Ah never thought you’d want something like this! At most Ah thought you’d ask for a lifetime supply of cider, or a date, or to help ya move a couch. Ah never expected…” She gestured roughly to all of him. “And where the hay did you get that outfit anyway?”

“Oh, this old thing?” He brushed invisible dust off his faux-leather chaps and let the fringe of his jacket sway in the wind. “Just a little something I asked Rarity to whip up.”

“It was quite the challenge, “ the fashionista declared from where she was making her own preparations for battle, “But such a fun experiment. Applejack’s too.”

“Yeah, right. Mine.” Applejack shifted and felt the straps pull across her body. Such a thing… she’d seen stuff like it before, in the back of Rarity’s shop, but not like this. Saddles and reins were meant to be made of soft and fancy materials, not thick and heavy ones like these. It made them seem so much more functional, yet also that much more embarrassing to wear not only in public but also with her friend-slash-drinking-buddy.

“Even iffn’ you are dressed the part, Ah’m still not comfortable with ya…” She gulped as a crimson fire spread across her face, “Riding me.”

“Not just riding!” Anon exclaimed, “Riding into battle! It’s the dream of all men to ride a noble steed into one at least once in their lives. To feel the wind whip your hair as the powerfully muscled companion beneath you brings the enemy ever closer. Don’t deny me this!”

She blushed at the subtle compliment to her strength. “But- But why me?” Was it just her strength he wanted? Or was there something more? Some deeper emotion that made him want her to be his ...ugh… mount over the others. Maybe, just maybe-

“You’re the only one who owes me a favor. Now come on AJ! Let’s ride!”

With a sudden pull from his long arms, Applejack found herself spun around to face the enemy. There was a brief moment of confusion before a hefty weight slammed onto her back. Even with the saddle distributing the weight, Anon was heavy!

“Sweet red delicious!” She exclaimed as the air fled her lungs, “What the Sam Hill have you been eating?”

“Pies, mostly.” He admitted. “That and other pastries. When you take away the hay-based stuff, there’s really not all that much Equestrian food I can eat y’know. Why do you think I go to Sugarcube Corner so much? Now c’mon, giddy up!”

With his cry of delight, Anon kicked her sides and Applejack yelped at the sharp pain that followed. “Yee-ouch! What in tarnation?!”

She craned her neck around to see what had stabbed her. There! On Anon’s ridiculous tall boots. There were tiny wheels of knives! And he’d kicked her with them!

“Oh these?” He said, seemingly unconcerned. “They’re called spurs. Part of the outfit, you see. Gotta stick with tradition.”

On the surface, Applejack seemed calm, her face as placid as the sea. But inside, she seethed. She was willing to put up with quite a lot of Anon’s antics, if she did say so herself. She was fine doing his weird little game of dress-up. She made peace with the fact that she was going to fight in industrial lingerie. She was even almost okay with the idea of him riding her. But those? Those little spike-wheels? He had crossed a line.

“You want charging into battle on a mighty steed?” She muttered, “Ah’ll give ya charging into battle on a mighty steed! Rarity! Get over here and help me! There’s been a change in plans!”

“Applejack? What are you doing?” His face drained of color as she finally expressed her true feelings. “AJ? Uh.. good ole friend of mine? What’s going on? Wait! Stop! Sto-”

“I hate this idea.”

“No ya don’t.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well… suck it up.” Applejack adjusted her reclaimed hat with care. “It’s tradition. And you know how much Ah care about your traditions.”

“There is absolutely nothing traditional about this!” Anon cried. Stripped of his rustic garb, he struggled to cover himself with the strips of material provided by his new outfit. “I’m supposed to be the rider! Not the steed!”

“Well, then ya shouldn’t have driven me this far with those shoes of yours.” Applejack took a step forward, spurs jingling on her purloined boots that went halfway up her flank.

“This is ridiculous.” Anon tried to appeal to reason. “I can’t run like this, I’m practically naked, and my clothes are way too big for you.”

“Already got that covered. Rarity! Resize please.”

Rarity, who was thoroughly amused with the proceedings, lit her horn. At her magic’s command, Applejack’s outfit began to shrink. Chaps tightened against her legs as the boots shifted to a more hoof-friendly form. Plaid fabric grew tight to her chest, letting just a little fluff poke through the neck-hole. For added effect, Rarity provided a red handkerchief of her own and tied it around the stetson.

“Thank ya kindly, “Applejack said with a small tip of her hat.

“No trouble at all,” Rarity trilled through a giggle. “And it seems Anon’s was a success as well.”

True to her word, the saddle and other gear had shifted and enlarged to better fit his bipedal form. It sat much higher, nearly on his shoulders, and the reins were much shorter as well. She’d even added a cover panel to preserve his modesty and dignity --what little of it remained. The blush that ran across his face turned his normally green complexion completely red.

“This isn’t any better!” he cried. “Look, AJ, I’m really sorry about the spurs. I wasn’t thinking right and that was wrong of me. I should have treated my friends with better respect. Now can we please change back? I don’t know how much longer this guy is going to wait for us to-”

“My foes!” a deep voice thundered across the rocky plains and over the sound of monsters. “I have been more than patient! You make a mockery of my attempts at honorable combat! The invasion begins...NOW!”

He lowered his hoof and, with a roar, the monsters began to charge.

“Too late to change now!” Applejack declared. With a running leap, she launched into the air and landed squarely in Anon’s saddle. Lasso already swirling in one hoof, she tapped his kidneys with much-blunted spurs. Anon reared up in alarm, unintentionally loosing a shriek of surprise. Above it, Applejack, with an enormous grin on her face, hollered “YEEEE-HAAAAW! Hi-ho Anon, Awaaaaaay!”

And into battle they charged.

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Spurred Into Action
Original Contest: September 28th, 2019

Hard to Handle, But Full of Love [Slice of Life] [Dark] [Fluttershy] [Others]

“You don’t like any of them?” Fluttershy asked.

The filly struck her nose up indignantly as her parents sighed in exasperation. “No. I told you. I don’t want some silly old dog or cat. I want a real pet. Something that no one else has!”

“Sweetie,” her mother leaned down to her level. “There are many fun and interesting pets here. You can’t hate all of them. What about this lizard?”

“Lame.”

“How about this flamingo?” Her father offered.

“Too pink.”

“This woodpecker?”

“Too noisy.”

“This platypus?”

“It looks shifty.”

The filly’s father sighed and turned back to Fluttershy with a defeated expression. “Well, it seems she really doesn’t like any of them. We’re really sorry for wasting your time Miss Fluttershy.”

“Actually,” the pegasus rubbed her chin thoughtfully, “I do have… one other pet available. I wanted to save her for someone with a bit more experience as pet owners, but something’s telling me she might be the one for you. I could bring her out, if you’re interested.”

“Oh please, would you?” the mare said, “We absolutely have to get her a pet. Anything to make the whining stop.”

“Just a moment please.” Fluttershy turned and walked off in the direction of the Everfree Forest, quickly becoming lost to view in the trees. The expectant family waited patiently in the meantime. A giant isopod came up to the filly and put on its best “Adopt-Me” face, only to be brushed aside with a grunt of disdain.

Suddenly, there was a noise from the forest. Trees shook and shuddered as something massive moved between them. Over the din, the family could just barely make out Fluttershy’s voice.

“There we go. This way. Careful of that rock! Good girl! Don’t dawdle now, there’s a lovely family here just dying to meet you!”

And then it emerged from the woods.

The creature that Fluttershy led stood upon legs like obsidian as thick as tree trunks atop cloven hooves that charred and scorched the earth where it tread. Its four arms rippled with muscle and were coated in iridescent green scales from forearm to fingertip. Wings with plumage to rival the prissiest pegasus were folded across its back. Its goat-like face was topped by six spiraling horns like polished quartz that caught the afternoon light and twisted it. Gazing into any other its three eyes was like peering into an abyss of stars from which there was no escape.

“This is Sophie,” Fluttershy introduced calmly. “She’s a Bapho-mutt.”

The creature --Sophie-- bleated out a noise like souls boiling in souloil.

“She’s a bit hard to handle,“ Fluttershy continued undeterred even as a nearby tree bloomed, died, and turned to ash in the space of a breath, “But she has a big heart and I think she’d make a wonderful addition to the right family.”

There was silence for a moment as all parties regarded each other. The filly stepped forward, slowly. Sophie reached a claw forward in return. Like a painting by Michelangelpone, hoof and claw met.

“...I think I love her,” the child murmured as Sophie gurgled something indistinct.

“...Really?” her father asked, still trying to take in the beast.

“Yes!” She declared with far more force and finality. She rounded on her parents. “Mom. Dad. I want Sophie! I have to have her! It’s like we were made for each other.”

Her parents glanced at each other. “I don’t know,” her mother said, slowly as to not instantly trigger her offspring’s wrath. “She is rather… bigger than we’d planned for.”

“I don’t care!” The filly ran up to Sophie, jumped into her arms, and embraced the leathery chest in a hug. “If you don’t let me keep Sophie, then… then… then I won’t love you anymore!”

With the air of a couple thoroughly whipped, the parents sighed in resignation. The mother turned to Fluttershy. “I guess we’ve found our pet then.”

“Wonderful!” Fluttershy squeed eagerly as she clapped her hooves. Nothing made her happier than pairing a pet with a family. But there was still business to be done. “Now, before we make anything official, there are a few things you should know.”

“This sounds boring.” The filly hopped down from her perch and took Sophie’s claw. “You two deal with it while Sophie and I go play. C’mon Sophie! I want to start teaching you tricks.” Sophie bleated happily in response.

The two parents turned back to Fluttershy as their daughter led Sophie to a nearby field to bond.

“First, she does have a few bad habits that you’ll need to break her of.”

“Oh dear,” the mother said, “Does she chew the furniture?”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” Fluttershy assured them, “But she does get a bit aggressive at loud noises. And when she gets bored or antsy, she has a tendency to try and kick off Armageddon. I’ve found that the best response to this is to give her a quick spritz from a bottle of princess-blessed water as a deterrent. Turns her right off. Also, she’s not housebroken.”

“But no furniture chewing?”

“No.”

“I don’t think that will be a problem,” the father said, his gaze tracking back to where Sophie casually tossed his happily squealing daughter between her four arms like juggler’s ball. “I have a feeling she’s going to be an outside pet in any event.”

Fluttershy nodded. “That’ll be fine. She was originally a stray when I found her near the outskirts of Tartarus, so she’s accustomed to living outdoors.”

“A stray?” asked the mother, “How does that work legally? Does she have her shots?”

“Yes,” Fluttershy said, “I administered them all myself when I was nursing her back to health. She has all her paperwork except ancestry documentation, for obvious reasons. As far as legality goes, she’s listed as a mix. That requires a special form.” She indicated the door of her cottage. “We can go inside and start on the paperwork now if you like.”

They nodded. As they passed, Fluttershy allowed herself a tiny gleeful hoofpump of success. She’d been starting to worry that she’d never find Sophie a good home. And now that she had, she could cut her animal food budget in half and stop doing the same to the other animals.

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Tough to Handle
Original Contest Date: September 14th, 2019
First Place

Loopy Loopy Lo~^/\/v~op [Heartwarming] [Dark] [Main Six] [Starlight] [Spike]

“And so, as you manage the preparations for the Summer Sun Festival, I hope you also take the time to enjoy yourself and try to make some friends. Signed, Her Royal Highness, Princess Celestia.”

Twilight sighed from where she sat, slumped over so far she was barely still in the flying chariot. One gold-armored guard glanced back in concern but said nothing. The hot metal of the gilded edging scorched her fur, but Twilight paid it no mind. She had more important things to think about.

“You don’t have to read it every time Spike,” she said, “I know what it says.”

He shrugged and tossed the letter over the side. “I like to check. Maybe something will be different this time.” He frowned. “Though it wasn’t.” They both watched for a few moments as the errant paper drifted on the winds beneath them before being lost for good somewhere in the depths of the forest. In what seemed like no time at all, they arrived at a quaint little village. Ponies bustled to and fro, barely taking notice of the arriving chariot as they focused on their tasks to make the town spic and span for the upcoming festival.

That is, except for the small group that stood still, seemingly waiting for the chariot to arrive. Either through sheer luck (or the guard just deciding they were important), the chariot set down just so such that Twilight could step out where the group was standing. She turned back to the guards for a moment.

“Thank you Shield, Swift. You can head back now.”

Shieldbearer and Swift Arrow glanced at each other, surprised that she knew their names, before taking the order and leaving. Once they were alone, Twilight turned to the gathered group.

“Well. Here we are.”

“Again.” The orange pony spat.

Twilight nodded. “Applejack. How’s your family?”

Applejack sighed. “Alive, unmarried, and cutie mark-less. Same as always.”

“The same,” Rarity added.

“So I guess it didn’t work then.” Rainbow Dash stood on the ground with the rest of the group. It would be some time before she got used to being able to fly constantly again.

“No. It didn’t,” Twilight gave a wan smile. “But it didn’t entirely fail either. I received a letter this morning.”

Ears perked up from the gathered five. Something new? A change? Their hearts leaped to their throats.

“Well, well, well. Fancy meeting you all here.”

They turned as one to the unexpected, yet so familiar voice that came from behind them.

“Starlight?!” Pinkie gasped.

“The very same.” Starlight was younger than they’d ever seen her. Gone were the lines of stress and worry that had long-since been etched beside her eyes by the time they’d met before. She looked healthy, vibrant even.

“You broke the cycle?” Fluttershy asked.

“Not-”

“Not exactly,” Starlight interrupted her former mentor, current stranger. “I saw the spell just before it triggered. It was massive. Whatever locked you seven into this loop had some serious power. There wasn’t enough time to deconstruct it, but I was just quick enough to add my magical signature to it’s targeting matrix. And so, here I am!” She stepped back and posed. “Younger and smarter than ever and far less likely to start a cutie mark stealing cult this time around.”

“You’ll get sick of that youth soon enough,” Rarity scoffed lightly. “After the first nine or ten times, you start to miss being treated with respect by ponies a tenth of your age.”

“Wait,” Starlight glanced at Twilight, concern etched onto her features. “I know you didn’t have much time to explain before, but how many times-”

“We’ve lost count,” Twilight finished for her.

“I think we’re somewhere in the forties,” Applejack provided.

“My count’s at fifty-two,” Rainbow Dash countered.

“They really all start to blend together after a while,” Pinkie mused, “Especially the short ones.”

“Short ones?” Starlight asked.

A darkness entered Twilight’s gaze. “Times when we fail. When something happens and either Equestria gets destroyed or one of us dies.”

“Or, you know, we let it happen,” Rainbow Dash said. “Remember that time we didn’t even bother stopping Lun- I mean, Nightmare Moon? That was the quickest one.”

“Coldest too,” Fluttershy shivered at the memory.

“Well, there’s no need to worry any longer!” Fluttershy felt a strong hoof wrap around her withers. “Because this time, you have me on your side. No one knows time magic better than me!”

“Do you really think you can do it?” Rarity asked cautiously. “Break the loop, I mean?”

Starlight grinned with a ferocity she hadn’t felt in years. “I know so. I saw the spell structure. It was complicated, yes, incredibly so, but now that I’m not going to waste half my life on some pointless revenge quest, I have all the time I need to work on it.”

She turned to get everyone gathered in her gaze. “I know you’re tired, all of you. I can’t imagine what it must have been like to be forced to relive your lives over and over. But that stops here. This is the final loop. You all are my friends and I refuse to leave you trapped here. And if anything tries to get in my way, well, I’d just like to see them try.”

Over the course of her speech, the group of future element-bearers had undergone a profound change. Half-hearted smiles grew larger and genuine, sullen postures straightened with renewed hope, and a brightness came back to their eyes that nary a pony had seen for years. When she was done, for the first time in ages, Twilight and all her friends felt as young as they looked.

Twilight grinned as new and surging hope swelled up in her chest. It had been the right move to trust Starlight with their plight. Never had she expected the spellcaster to find a way to come with them, but such was the power of friendship. Transcending even the bonds of rippling time.

“Alright girls,” Twilight declared, “If Starlight’s going to work on getting us free, then we’re going to have to do our best to give her the best circumstances to do so.”

“Are you suggesting a boss rush?” Rainbow Dash asked as she started to hover again. “After what happened last time?”

“It could work!” Applejack insisted as she took off her hat and held it to her chest. “We just took them all on too fast before.”

“She’s right,” Twilight agreed, “But with Starlight no longer an issue, there’s a lot more steps we can take now to save us trouble down the road. And for the villains we can’t prevent, we can prepare.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying it, but this actually sounds possible.” Rarity said, brushing aside a lock of her once-again vibrant and curled mane. “We might actually get free this time.”

“You will,” Starlight insisted, “It’s going to take time, but I guess you all are used to that by now.”

“But just because we have time doesn’t mean we should waste it,” Spike warned, “I say we get started now, fix as much as we can, and spend the hard-earned days of peace enjoying them with our friends and family.”

“Seconded,” Fluttershy agreed.

“Me three,” Pinkie added.

Twilight clapped her wings in excitement, then realized she didn’t have any and clapped her hooves instead. “Alright, then let’s get to it. Fluttershy, you send a letter to the Cloudsdale orphanage and see if they've taken in any fillies matching Cozy Glow’s description yet. Hopefully, we can start her on a better path early.”

Fluttershy, all smiles, nodded.

“I always saw a lot of potential in her,” Starlight mused. “Maybe raising a filly would be a potent additional incentive to find a solution. Though I'll have to convince Trixie once I meet her again.”

“Applejack,” Twilight continued, ”You go find Kevin. I think he’s using the Pokey Pierce disguise at the moment. If we can make a connection with Chrysalis before the Great Starvation, we might be able to shift their whole hive’s direction.”

“Can do.”

“I’ll head down to the Everfree and set up a teleport beacon in the old castle. We won’t waste any time with Luna.”

“Should we let her and Celestia know this time around?” Rarity asked.

“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. Sometimes they help but others, well, you remember the loop where Cadence nearly died during the invasion.”

Her face paled. “Oh. Yes… We shall have to be quite delicate with them.”

“Wait a minute,” Rainbow Dash cut in as she swooped down to be the center of the group. “If we’re all preparing for future stuff, what about everything we’re supposed to do for the Summer Sun Celebration?”

Starlight scoffed. “Does it matter? You know everything’s going to be overshadowed by Luna’s return in any event. Besides,” she shot the pegasus a challenging look,” I seem to remember a certain friendship journal saying that you cleared the sky on that historic day in ten seconds flat.”

Rainbow Dash blushed. “Well, yeah, but I was young and cocky. And it was years ago.”

“It is years ago,” Starlight reminded her, “And when we pull this off, it’s the last time it will be.”

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Here we go again
Original Contest Date: September 21, 2019
First Place

Like Your Life Depended On It [Comedy] [Changelings] [Bon Bon]

In the depths of the badlands, far underground and away from the sweltering heat of the blistering sun, a score of ponies sweated profusely.

Their faces strained and stretched, muscles twitching and aching from the pain of their labor. Their efforts were met with moderated and polite disapproval.

“You call that smiling?!” A changeling roared in their faces, green spittle flying like arrows from a hwacha. “My rotting granny can smile better than that, and she lost her head to an Equestrian sniper mage!”

The side of one mouth quavered, only for the briefest of moments, but it was not missed by the eagle-eyed changeling.

“Scout Lacewing!”

“Sir!” The pony squeaked, as all ponies were known to do.

The changeling pointed at Lacewing’s face. “And what exactly do you call that?”

The unicorn continued to smile like she was being held at charged hornpoint, parting her teeth only barely enough to speak. “A smile, sir!”

“A smile? A pony smile?”

“Sir, yes, sir!”

“That doesn’t look like a genuine pony smile to me. Looks like you just soiled yourself on a train and are praying to every star in the sky that no one realizes it was you. Tell me scout, did you or did you not soil yourself?”

“Sir, no sir!”

“Then stop making that face and smile!” He scowled as he continued down the line. “By the Queen, if this is the best the broodmothers have to offer, we might as well just go present ourselves to the ponies trussed up on a silver platter.”

The room was silent, save for the soft scratching of quill on parchment. A lone changeling stood in the corner, away from the primary group, writing something down quickly on a stone clipboard. Noticing the uptick in note-taking, the changeling with the inexhaustible voice became curious.

“Everyling, stand down.” As one, the faces of every pony in the room drooped like puppets whose strings had been cut. “You all get five minutes rest, which is more than you miserable grubs deserve. I suggest you use this time to work in small teams to improve your smiles. And if I don’t see a genuine, authentic, pony smile from every last one of you by the end of today’s training then you’re all scrubbing the resin pits till your chitin’s worn down to the nub!”

With his final warning in place, he turned and approached the silent observer. Said observer showed no sign of noticing him, other than continuing to write. “Inspector Dragonfly. I wasn’t expecting to see you for another week.”

The inspector looked up from his page and pushed an almost comically small pair of glasses up his muzzle. “Queen’s orders, Sergeant Stag. She wanted a fresh report on the progress of the recruits.”

Sergeant Stag spat on the ground. “Bunch of honey-sucking grubs, the lot of them. Most can barely hold a disguise together and those that can can’t act to save their elytras.” He grinned with dark intent. “But don’t you worry, I’ll whip them into shape one way or another.”

Dragonfly pushed up his glasses again, nonplussed. “Quite.” He glanced down at his page. “A question, Sergeant.”

“Shoot.”

“Why the emphasis on smiling?”

Stag paused for a moment before nodding in realization. “Ah, you’re a hive worker. Never been beyond the walls, eh?” His gruff voice softened to something that almost sounded like an emotion other than furious. “Let me tell you then: We lose more changelings to bad smiles than any other type of cover blowing.”

Dragonfly’s eyes widened and he lost his magical grip on his quill. “From smiling? Surely not. How could that be poss-”

“It’s the nature of ponies, you see.” Stag clarified, “We all know they’re insipid little fools with barely the brainpower to keep a society going, but very few changelings realize just how dim they really are. Their brains are so tiny, they literally cannot experience anything beyond the barest surface level of emotions. Anything beyond blissful, simpering smiling is completely beyond them.”

“Sweet Queen…” Dragonfly muttered, “That sounds horrific.”

“Oh it is. We’re practically doing them a kindness when we pod ‘em. Gives ‘em a purpose at least. But we changelings on the other hand, well, obviously we have a much deeper experience of life than ponies do. That’s why failing to smile properly gets so many young infiltrators caught. They don’t have the fortitude to keep up that level of vapid euphoria for very long. That’s why you have to beat it into ‘em!”

A sudden clattering noise caught his attention and he whipped his head around back to his recruits. “Hey! Who told you you could bring food in here? That’s it, break’s over! Everyling back in line!” He turned back for a moment as twenty ponies, changeling, and half-transformed inbetweens scurried back into place, cursing not quite as quietly as they thought they were. “Excuse me, inspector, I need to get back to drilling these nymphs on how to not die from their own incompetence. If you’re going to continue-”

“No need.” Inspector Dragonfly snapped his portable inkwell shut and tucked away his quill. “I believe I have all I need. I’ll leave you to your work.”

Dragonfly turned and walked back into one of the many labyrinthine hallways that made up the lower depths of the hive. Behind him, he could hear Stag beginning to shout again.

“So, you think you can grab a quick snack while my back is turned? Well let’s see just who’s so hungry then! Forms up! Teeth out! Let’s see those pearly fangs! And for the love of love, smile like you mean it!”

Dragonfly continued down the corridor as the shouting faded into the distance. He passed countless other changelings and branching tunnels until both began to peter out. Soon they were alone in a disused portion of the hive, half-collapsed from an earthquake. Then, and only then, did they risk tapping a small magical gemstone hidden deep in their ear.

“Mission control? Come in mission control.”

After a small burst of static that made them wince, a tinny voice replied. “This is mission control. The line is secure. Go ahead.”

Dragonfly sighed. When he spoke again, his voice was decidedly more feminine. “This is Agent Drops, reporting in. I have the confirmation we came for. The disinformation campaign was successful.”

“Excellent news, Agent. The Crown will be most glad to hear it.”

If the Crown cared that much, they’d have sent more agents than one lone mare, she thought, but chose to remain professional and keep such things to herself. “I’m at the extraction point. Are we go for teleport?”

There was a short pause before the reply. “Beacons are all green. Drop the guise and we’ll teleport on your mark.”

The changeling inspector checked her surroundings one last time and dropped her disguise with a shimmering wave of light. Agent Sweetie Drops tapped her communicator once more. “I’m clear. Beam me up, Agent Biscotti.”

Author's Note

Original Prompt" Smile like you mean it
Original Contest Date: October 11, 2019
Second Place

The Fine's Line [Comedy] [Meme] [Celestia] [Luna]

“What a wonderful idea this was sister! To walk amongst the lower classes and observe their lives.”

“Citizens, Luna. Not lower class. We’ve been over this.” Celestia sighed in exasperation. These little outings were supposed to help her sister adjust and learn how to properly respond to modern social situations. Considering that these were their third disguises this afternoon, it had not been going smoothly.

That aside, the day was perfect for a trot through the city. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, and an extraordinarily long line wound its way through a busy plaza.

“How queer,” Luna noted before turning to her sister. “Is this normal?”

“No. No, it is not. Excuse me sir,” Celestia tapped a stallion on the shoulder. “What is this line for?”

“Emotions,” he replied without a flicker of such. “Haven’t you heard? Have to buy them now.”

“What?”

“Prithee?”

He nodded towards the front of the line where a small stall had been erected. “Couple stallions managed to trademark emotions. Now everypony’s got to either buy them from them, or pay a hefty fine.”

The sisters turned towards each other. “Is this a mallet-worthy problem?”

Celestia grunted. “No, this is not the situation for your war-hammer. But it is worth looking into.”

With a brief fabrication of technically fake (but from a certain standpoint, arguably real) royal papers, they quickly moved to the front of the line. Behind the stall sat two similar-looking stallion, one with glasses and one without, with a stack of papers between them.

Celestia wasted no time cutting to the chase. “What’s this I hear about somepony trademarking emotions?”

One of the pair smiled plasticly. “That’s right. Hard Fine’s the name and this is my brother, Stiff Fine.”

StifF nodded stiffly.

“One cannot claim ownership of an emotion,” Luna said. “That makes no sense.”

“Oh but it does! And we did.” Hard Fine sat up, oddly eager to explain. “You see our mutual brother, Dam, runs a construction business that we’re partial owners of. Recently, we took over a paint manufacturer known for its colorfully named pigments. Happiness, Sorrow, Angst, and the like. Since Stiff and I are lawyers, he had us look over the fine print and we found it profitably ambiguous. And after a quick refiling, here we are now: proud owners of the rights to every emotion and reaction in Equestria.”

“That’s outrageous! The law was never meant to be interpreted that way!” Luna scolded.

“Anger,” said Stiff. “Five bits.”

“What?”

“Confusion. Two bits.”

“This- This is ridiculous!”

“Confused anger. Ten bits.”

“Why does that cost more?!”

As amusing as Celestia found this exchange, she concluded that it was probably time to intervene. “While I’m sure you two had only the noblest of intentions,” An obvious lie, but dealing with nobles coached one to handle conversations in a particular way. “I would highly recommend ceasing operations before somepony with authority catches wind of this. I feel that certain ponies, the Princesses in particular, might not look upon your actions favorably.”

“Condescension. Thirty bits.”

Hard Fine smirked. “I’d like to see them try. Those stuck-up princesses can’t do a thing. Not that that fat-flanked sun-wielder could if she wanted to. Her or the other one. We’ve got the law on our sides.”

An oppressive atmosphere suddenly emerged between the two parties. For some reason, Hard and Stiff broke out in a cold sweat, as though they were facing down a snarling predator.

“Luna…” Celestia said coldly (for twelve bits), “This just became a mallet problem.”

Had the swindler's trademark bore any actual weight, the gleeful and vindictive grin on the Lunar princess’s face would have surely bankrupted the Royal Treasury. She leaned in, so close that her muzzle pushed pressed up against Hard’s.

“Guess what, you clever little colts?”

They both gulped audibly, too terrified to answer.

“We art the Law!”

Author's Note

Original Prompt: The fine line
Original Contest Date: October 19th, 2019
First Place

Unbagged [Comedy] [Rarity]

“I swear officer,” Rarity stammered under the weight of his judgemental gaze. “Those aren’t mine. I didn’t even put them in my bag!”

“Ahuh.” He was unmoved. A fine sheen of sweat beaded across Rarity's brow. She could feel the growing unrest of the ponies in line behind her. The line she was currently holding up.

“You expect me to believe,” he continued, “That these contraband, which were found in your bag, which you already attested that you packed yourself, are not yours?”

“Honestly sir,” she insisted, “they aren’t. I don’t even own any nunchucks.”

The second guard snorted derisively as he continued rifling through her bag. “A likely story. What do you have to say about this then? Also not yours, I expect?” He extracted a hoof from her embroidered travel bag clutching a plastic-wrapped brick of unlabeled white powder.

“That’s… powered sugar,” Rarity said slowly. “It’s a souvenir. For my friend who bakes.” Her eyes darted across the crowded border station, not-so-discreetly gauging the distance to the exits.

“Sure it is. And I suppose some meddling gremlin just snuck these PM-62 anti-personnel mines into your bags as well?”

“Those are… also gifts. She’s into very… experimental baking.”

The guard made a small noise of disapproval. The first one, who still wielded the nunchucks, made a small signal to some of his associates across the room. They began to approach.

“And how do you explain these chocolate eggs with a toy inside? These are illegal in Equestria, you know.”

“Oh, are they?” she chuckled awkwardly, “I had no idea. Better get them out of the way then.” Before anyone could stop her, Rarity snatched the eggs in her magic and swallowed them whole.

“That… uh… okay then?” The nunchuck guard found himself speechless.

“YEEOWCH!” Guard #2 yanked his hoof from the bag, trailing a rope of small reptiles gripping each other jaw to tail to hoof. “What in the name of Celestia’s thick flanks are these?!”

“Ah, Barrel-Gilas,” Rarity supplied, “Quite a rare creature. Another gift for a friend of mine who enjoys exotic animals.”

“Rare alright.” The guard who was not trying to dislodge an ever-growing conga line of reptiles from his foreleg replied. “Rare and protected.”

“Are they now? My mistake.”

Seeing that his companion was going to be useless for at least the next several minutes, he set down his nunchucks and took over searching through her seemingly bottomless bags. Other guards had arrived at this point (much to the displeasure of the ponies waiting in the lines they had abandoned) but just stood by to enjoy the show.

“What… what is this?” Pulling most of his upper body out of the bag, he held aloft a piece of string with a brass ring on the end.

“Hm. I’m not terribly sure,” Rarity replied easily, “Mind if I take a look?”

Seeing no immediate harm, he hoofed it over to her. The string continued unwinding from within the bag. She studied it for a second. “Ah. Of course. Tell me, dear sirs, have you ever heard of Ender-luggage?" They hadn't and shook their heads. "Marvelous invention. It allows a piece of luggage to share space with a chest back in your home. And if one needs to do an emergency transport, all they have to do is pull this cord. Like this.” She did, and was immediately sucked into the bag, along with all her extracted possessions. The bag then inverted on itself and disappeared with a small pop!

The group of guards stared at the space she had previously occupied, then turned to each other.

"Technically," one finally said, "I didn't see her actually step across the border, so whatever craziness that was is no longer my department."

Author's Note

Original Prompt: I didn't put those in my bag
Original Contest Date: October 27, 2019
Strict 550 word limit.
22 minute writing time.

Doo What You Must [Dark] [Horror] [Maud] [Mud Briar] [Pinkie]

“This is not the path to our usual Monday spot.”

“Yes.”

Their voices faded into the dense leaves as they continued to walk. Mud Briar was not one for making unnecessary small talk. He was quick to point of technical inaccuracies and false statements, but aside from that, he was content to let others do the talking. This was one of the reasons he felt he clicked so well with Maud Pie. She too could appreciate the concept of not filling the air with useless noise. Still, there were some times, however few, when he wished his marefriend would be slightly less laconic. Such as when she spontaneously changed the destination of their usual picnicking spot.

The trees parted before them, revealing the sheer bluff of a cliff. At the bottom, a large jagged crack opened into a cave.

“Technically, Thursday is our scheduled day to study rocks,” he reminded her. Perhaps she was merely confused.

“We are not studying rocks today.” Maud gestured ahead. “Go inside. I’ve prepared something for you.”

Though he was annoyed at the unexpected change in activities, Mud Briar complied. The interior was dark, too dark to see properly. It seemed like a perfectly ordinary cave, as much as any cave could be called ordinary since, technically, every cave was a unique structure. As his eyes adjusted to the dim light, he noticed a faint red glow in the distance. Making the logical leap that that was where he was meant to go, he followed it.

After a brief narrow passage, the cave widened into a large chamber. In the gloom, he couldn’t tell its exact size but it was large enough that the limited red light did not illuminate the walls. He continued forward towards the light, when suddenly a loud noise like stone grinding on stone came from behind him.

He jumped around to look but was forced into a squint as light flooded the cave.

“Wow Maud!” he heard an excited yet oddly familiar voice echo from somewhere above him. “You were right! He walked right in!”

“Of course he did. He trusts me.”

That second voice, there was no mistaking it. “Maud?” He asked, still blinded. “What is going on? This is very confusing.”

“That is understandable. Just wait. You’ll find out soon enough.”

Mud Briar tried to open his eyes. The light stung, but he fought through it. The chamber was bright now, fully lit by a ring of torches. Though now it seemed less a chamber and more a pit. The path he’d taken was gone, blocked off by an enormous stone, and walls rose around him higher than he could ever hope to climb or jump. At the top of the walls stood Maud, looking as impassive as ever, and also her sister, Pinkie.

“Pinkie Pie?” he asked, “What are you doing here?”

“What am I doing here?” she echoed, “I’m helping out my sister with her relationship problems like a good little sis should.”

He paused at that. Relationship problems? As far as he was aware, everything had been going as smooth as beech. He cut to the chase. “Are you breaking up with me?”

Her reply was immediate. “No. Technically, the opposite.”

Now he was just confused. Not only did her reply not make sense, but her technically also offered no further clarification.

“I do like you, Mud Briar,” she admitted. “I like you a lot. But I love rocks even more. And someday, I know I am going to have to choose between the two of you.”

“Technically, you don’t know that.” Mud Briar began to get nervous. If this wasn’t a breakup, then why did she seem to be speaking with such… finality?

“It’s the most probable outcome. So I’ve decided to take steps to fix the issue.”

Maud stepped back out of his field of vision. He could not see what she did, but the effects were obvious. On the far side of the pit, a portcullis he had failed to notice began to raise. Two glowing red lights burned out from within. From within the shadows, a monster emerged. Its body was feathered, but its tail serpentine. And there was no mistaking its evil gaze or beak full of fangs.

A cockatrice.

Mud Briar yelped and scrambled back, but all too soon he hit the far wall. There was nowhere to run. “Maud!” he cried, “Why is there a cockatrice here?!”

“Technically,” she replied, “It’s not just a cockatrice. It’s an artificially bred subspecies.”

“You would not believe what it took to manage that,” Pinkie said cheerily, “Thank goodness Fluttershy was willing to let me call in a few favors.”

The creature bared down on him and Mud Briar could practically feel his extremities beginning to tingle. “Why?” he begged, “Why are you doing this?”

“I’m fixing the problem.” Her emotionless voice, usually a comfort, now felt cold and distant. “I don’t have to choose between my coltfriend and my work if they are one and the same. So this cockatrice-”

“I named him Bill!” Pinkie interrupted.

“...Bill, is going to transform you into stone which I will spend years studying. No pony has ever done an in-depth analysis of the petrolizing effects of a cockatrice’s gaze, primarily due to a lack of specimens. Together, you and I will break new ground in the fields of geology. It’s going to be so much fun.”

Mud Briar gasped at his hooves. They shone like diamonds in the torchlight. Possibly because they were diamonds, or technically, one solid piece of some unknown crystalline mineral each. A condition that was slowly creeping up the lengths of his legs.

“By the way, did we mention it’s not a normal cockatrice?” Pinkie leaned over the balcony, grinning madly. “Maud said a standard one would be fine, but I convinced her to go the extra mile and get a cockatrice that could really make you something special. Go big or go home, you know?”

Desperate as the crystal climbed his legs, Mud Briar tried appealing to the more emotional sister. “Please, Pinkie Pie! Don’t do this! I can understand Maud’s logic, but why would you help her in this?”

“Why?” She looked genuinely confused. “Didn’t I tell you I was going to support you and her’s relationship? If this is what my big sister needs to be happy, then of course I’m going to help her. Now, would you mind getting in a better pose? It’s gonna be a real let-down if Maud has to spend all her time with you while you’re in this cowering fetal position.”

Mud Briar could not reply, for his tongue was stone. Sensation slowly sapped from his body as he wondered what he’d done in life to deserve this. Hadn’t he been a good pony? A good coltfriend? He’d tended to his appearance, always picked her up on time, always walked her home. And was this where it got him? Stoned in a cave while she and her sister watched?

As the last bit of crystal began to encase his body, he craned up his stiffening neck to catch her eye. Maud, his marefriend, the one who’d done this to him. But there was no regret, no remorse to be found there. Only cold passion and logic.

And his heart stood still.

Author's Note

Original Prompt: This song:

Original Contest Date: November 12, 2019

Highway Robbery [Comedy] [Poetry] [Anon] [Lyra] [Twilight]

"Give us your hands, if we be friends," said Lyra who'd gone round the bend.

Through a cry he tried to stifle, Anon took in her father's rifle.

He swallowed and was forced to watch as she lowered it towards his crotch.

"You must be joking," he tried to quip, but stopped when heard the hammer click.

"It's not a joke, nor clever ruse. I've named my terms" --she pressed-- "now choose."

Anon winced in psychic pain as panic flooded through his brain.

He'd thought Equestria free from these; gunpoint choices worse than Sophie's.

To lose his hands to magic horse, or lose his junk- which would be worse?

His manhood he would love to keep; the joy it brought could not be beat.

Yet hands he knew were still required, to rouse the pleasure it inspired.

Although a muzzle to his crotch would normally be quite sexual, today he learned (to his dismay) that such things were quite contextual.

"How 'bout a deal?" he did implore, and winced when rifle clicked once more.

"You're in no place to make demands, now choose your junk and yield me hands!"

To panicked mind a quote did bubble; "A well hung sword brings nought but trouble."

(Or something like that anyway. Damocles was never his forte.)

As tension rose between the pair, a rippling crackle split the air.

"Stop!" cried Twilight, to his relief, her voice vibrant with disbelief.

“You touch one bit of little Willy, I swear I’ll make your horn an innie!”

Though feeling somewhat backhand smacked, Anon seized his chance to act.

His hands as fast as Indy's whip, he snatched the gun from magic's grip.

Snapping it with cracking sound, buckshot spilled across the ground.

To Twilight it was deftly handed, and then to Lyra reprimanded:

“You ever try this schtick again, I swear your plot I’ll shove it in.”

“The gun, that is,” he quickly cleared, lest they think him sexually weird.

Lyra’s head demurely lowered, though her expression ever-glowered.

Anon sighed in attritial defeat; for even victory was bittersweet.

No matter how he’d scold or shriek, he knew she’d try again next week.

He vainly struggled ‘gainst her pout that threatened to quench his anger out.

These ponies were just too darn cute. He gently reached and booped her snoot.

Shielded Love [Poetry] [Romance] [OC] [Human]

They say when it comes to fishing, that there's plenty in the seas,
But no one ever thought to ask if that's true of ponies.

For when the mares outnumber, their stallions eight to three,
It makes it that much harder, to find one that is free.

I've tried my hand at reeling, a mate to quench my thirst,
but from them all I found no spark; at least, not like my first.

It's not I'm unattractive (or so the ponies say),
It's just my heart has staked its claim, and by it I must stay.

And though many come a'wooing, this human long and lean and tall,
I simply sigh and shake my head and turn away them all.

Of course I could rebait my line and cast it in the pool,
but none out there can quite compare to my beloved fool.

He may not be the smartest or the quickest of the bunch,
but when it came to kindness, his heart sure packed a punch.

We shared a lonely summer when to this land I was a stranger,
Though really he was just a guard (as nobles thought me a danger).

As weeks went by I found myself intrigued by this odd stallion,
Who somehow always stayed the line, twixt nerd and bold rapscallion.

In time he too grew fond of, my charm and quirk and wit.
(Or maybe just my foreign looks, and blocked the rest of it).

I ate his food, slept in his house, and met his little sister.
And both of us shared blushing cheeks when asked "So have you kissed her?"

And yet, despite this closeness, a romance never flowered.
Perhaps because, in all things love, I am a wretched coward.

When the royals at last declared, I did no longer guard require,
My loyal stallion reassigned: to royal palace squire.

He's married now, for several years, and I hear he has a daughter.
On quiet nights I weep and think, were she mine, what I'd have taught her.

I wonder if he thinks of me, as oft I think of him.
Or was I just another job? An amusing passing whim?

He placed a shield around my heart; now no others can hold sway.
So despite this crushing loneliness, I want the one that got away.

Author's Note

Original Prompt: The one that got away
Valentine's Day Contest

I was Just Killing Time [Dark] [Mysterious] [Twilight]

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

With mechanical precision, the kitschy egg timer stole away the seconds of the day. Twilight Sparkle sat before it, immobile. Her ears stood at attention like soldiers while her eyes remained open, unblinking, into the void ahead.

The oven light was not on, but it didn’t need to be. It wasn’t even hot. And yet, under the concentrated force of her gaze, the bread rose anyway. Swelling with glacial slowness, but that didn’t matter. The bread wasn’t important. The wait was.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Every muscle in her body remained tense like a runner at the starting block. She did not move nor flinch nor twitch. She merely sat, and waited, and listened.

Her mind expanded in the moments between seconds. The silent gaps became longer and longer, untill it felt as though an eternity passed between each tick... tick... tick.

She was no longer alone. Perhaps she never had been to begin with. Awareness was funny like that. When you can be in the presence of something for so long that the brain teaches itself to ignore it. Like the ticking of a clock.

“I knew you’d come.” Her voice was level, emotionless even.

“I was never not here, nor was I ever not elsewhere.” With her eyes fixed ahead, Twilight could not see it properly. Merely a blur of brown with a slash of green in her peripheral vision.

Tick.

Tick.

Tick.

Three eternities passed.

“Your efforts are futile.” Its words seemed to fall between the seconds. Or perhaps she had always known them. “I am ancient. I am inevitable. I am a function of the universe. You do nothing but waste your own life.”

Twilight’s ears flicked at its words, but she held steady. Nothing but the ticking of the clock filled her mind. Not even the cognizance to form a response.

She felt it come up behind her. Its breath on her neck. It was cold. Like wet clay or decaying brush. “I am a gift. And yet you squander me. Waste me. You tried this before, ephemeral one. You failed then. You will fail again.”

“That may have been true. Once. But not now.” Twilight closed her eyes and let images from afar fill her mind. “Now I have friends. At this moment, Pinkie is watching paint dry. Applejack is watching grass grow. Rainbow Dash is finding shapes in the clouds.”

“This changes nothing. The actions of a few-”

“Rarity is watching a pot boil.” Twilight cut it off. “Fluttershy is sitting on hard boiled eggs.”

Tick.

It flinched and coughed. “I said, it doesn’t-”

“Lyra is waiting at the DMV without a reason. Celestia is rereading the same page of her book over and over. Moondancer is counting all the prime numbers.”

Tick.

The being coughed again and stumbled slightly.

“All over the world, ponies are killing time. Letting moments slip past without meaning or purpose. If one pony is killing time, nothing happens. But if every pony is doing it… well, I’m sure you understand by now.”

It fell to its knees, as though its legs no longer had the strength to support it. “No… impossible...”

“You are a construct of pony minds.” Twilight took a deliberate step forward, her expression taking on a menacing aura. The room was closing, the gap of space shrinking, the Princess cornering all available escape routes. Time, it appeared, was running out. “An ancient one, but a creation of pony minds nonetheless. And what can be made, can just as easily be unmade.”

“This… you cannot outlast me.” It’s voice was weaker now, strained, but it still held more strength than it seemed.

Twilight shrugged. It was the most emotional gesture she’d shown yet. “I beg to differ. I have all my friends —everypony— helping me. I literally have all the time in the world at my disposal.” Her eyes still closed, Twilight stood and turned. The ticking clock echoed thunderously like the metronome of the universe itself. “I read in a book that you and patience are the most powerful warriors. With patience on my side, that makes you clearly outnumbered.”

The universe fractured and crumbled around Twilight. The very fabric of space warped and twisted, rending the air with a noise like screeching metal. She ignored it and focused only on the ticking timepiece. She clung to the sound like a buoy in a wailing maelstrom as waves of unspace and torrential rains of sounds that should not be tore at her form.

There was no pain. Only the clock. So long as she believed it.

Eternities passed. Universes were birthed, expanded, and collapsed like mayflies as she weathered the storm. To fail now would mean consequences far greater than she could pay. In time —as much as such a phrase still applied— the storm faded. Twilight found herself once more faced with nothing but the sound of ragged breathing and the ever present ticking.

Something collapsed in front of her and she allowed herself a small smile. The egg timer ticked down, the pauses extending between each movement of the gears and escapement. She leaned down, still blind, and found an ear to speak into.

“You had your time, but now it’s time to move on.”

Tick.

Tick...

“Without time, there is no aging. Without aging, there is no death.”

Tick.

Tic...

...

…

Twilight leaned in and whispered into its ear as what it passed for life slipped away. “Congratulations. Now everyone gets to live forever. Except you.”

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Watching bread rise and also Killing Time

Who Needs a Map? [Comedy] [Random] [Vinyl] [Octavia]

The pause button nearly cracked under Vinyl’s hoof as she slammed her hoof on it like the Judgmental Hammer of Faust. As the dulcet tones of clashing synths came to a halt, she snapped her flip-phone open with a swift flick of her other hoof.

“Yo, you got the V-Scratch. What up?”

“Vinyl, I thought I said to stop trying to force that nickname. It is neither catchy nor its connotations pleasant.”

“Whatevs, I know you’re just jelly.” She took a swing of her Mt. Canter Ale. “So, you need something Tavi or did you just miss the sweet, sweet sound of my voice?”

“Hilarious. I’m lost and-”

“That’s why I made you a map.”

“This map is worse than useless. Attempting to follow it had assuredly left me more lost than if I’d struck out on my own! And my package isn’t getting any less heavy.”

Vinyl sighed. Her marefriend could be such a drama queen. “Alright, alright. Okay so what’s around you. Gimme a landmark.”

“Well, I’m in an abandoned industrial complex.”

“Chemical or mechanical?”

“How would I possibly know that?”

“Well are you surrounded by vats of funky chemicals or rusty old machine parts?”

“Ah. The former.”

“Great! You’re in the right place then. You see a big old watchtower? Should be… northish?”

“No.”

“Sorry, Eastish.”

“Still nothing.”

“South, then.”

“Vinyl.”

“I got it! It was to the West! You see it? The watchtower?”

A sigh came over the phone. “No. I’m looking North, South, East, and West and I don’t see any sort of watchtower.”

“Cool. You’re probably standing in it then.”

“You couldn’t have said that from the beginning?”

“How? I didn’t know where you were.”

“I- Fine. Where do I go from here?”

“Okay, so you know about how far it is from our place to the Hayburger’s?”

“Yes?”

“Go out the backdoor and walk straightish about that far.”

“What? How does-”

“Keep going till you pass a boulder that looks like Princess Celestia kissing a Bugbear.”

“A who kissing a what?”

“If you hit a big lake of old sludge you’ve gone too far. If you see a sign that says ‘Welcome to Manehattan’ you’ve gone way too far.”

“Vinyl. My back is killing me lugging this around. I’d really appreciate some clear and concise directions.”

“You sure? It’s gonna get complex pretty quick without landmarks.”

“Yes.”

“Alright, you asked for it.” She took a deep breath. “You’re gonna wanna head straight out the back for about three minutes then take a left. Round that building till you come to some flights of stairs. Take the second set up two stories, follow the hallway two lefts and a right, then take the green door not the red one. Take another flight of stairs back down —the metal ones, not the stone. I know they look unstable but they’re fine— till you hit the ground floor. Then you gotta-”

“Okay stop! You’ve made your point! I’ll take the landmarks.”

“You suuuure?”

“Ugh. Yes. Just… keep it simple, please?”

“Gotcha. I’ll take you on the longer path then, it’s got less turns. So you walk till the paved bit turns to gravel. You with me so far?”

“Yes. That much I can do. Wait for me to get there before you continue.”

Vinyl glanced at the clock. “No can do. My set starts soon and my rig isn’t totally online yet. So when you get to that bugbear-stiality rock I mentioned, you wanna shimmy around it and head Weast till you reach some old construction equipment.”

“Wait, what direction was-”

“Ignore anything that moves as you go between the machines. They’re more scared of you than you are of them. Probably. Depends if they’ve eaten recently. Keep going till you get to a brick building that looks like Big Mac if he was a house and also had a broken leg and two antlers.”

“What? I-”

“There’ll be a guard. When he asks for the password, tell him you’re with me. If he doesn’t believe you, stand your ground and use some of that salty foreign swearing I like.”

“Vinyl!” she reared her head back as the voice shot through the phone like the crossbow bolt that took out rock legend Big Booper. “No more riddles! No more crazy twists! Just tell me where to go so I can drop this off and head back to my night off!”

“Okay, okay, fine. Geez, somepony forgot to take their chill pill this morning. Look, turn around and look up.”

“No more weird landmarks Vinyl, I mean it.”

“Calm down and just do it. There. Was that so hard? See me waving?”

“I… you… Vinyl!” The sound cut out suddenly.

Down below, Vinyl watched the tiny figure of her marefriend throwing her phone on the ground. Not a smart move; their plan didn’t cover intentional damage. Still, the money she’d pull from this rave would be more than enough to cover it. Assuming Tavi managed to figure her own way through the facility/rave/festival grounds and find the stage to deliver the backup non-blown-out subwoofer before the whole show started, played out, and ended. She got lost so easily it was hilarious when a gig wasn’t on the line. It took the most convoluted directions to keep her focused and not wandering off.

Honestly, her marefriend was absolutely pants with directions.

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Pants

Worth The Cost [Comedy] [Poetry] [Lyra] [Bon Bon]

Through silent halls the mare went creeping,
Whilst candy-colored mate was sleeping,
Accompanied by moonlight peeping,
Through windows at her sordid feat.

Her secret mission dreadful clear,
To purloin sweets held oh-so dear,
And though discovery she did fear,
Her hoofsteps kept their steady beat.

Minty hooves made haste downstairs
(While partner slumbered unawares)
To confectioners' sacred lairs,
In which dwelled forbidden treat.

Through cabinets she began to rifle,
pushing past custard and trifle,
while squeaking hinges try to stifle,
her heart’s pounding drum beat.

Finally! Her prize sat waiting,
Patiently through her locating,
(And unbecoming salivating),
Behind a sack of ground buckwheat.

She snatched a scoop of umbral gold,
Stuffed it twixt her mouthy fold,
Stashed the bag back in its hold,
and spun around for her retreat.

Her tongue prepared for Elysial bliss,
But all too quick felt taste amiss,
As she let out a guttural hiss,
From acrid pain in her mouth-meat.

As she writhed, mouth burning, frothing,
Her body racked with hearty coughing,
There came a soft and subtle laughing,
From the darkened kitchen's seat.

The light became a blinding glare,
Revealing Bon Bon sitting there,
Quite awake and quite aware,
Her aura steaming with conceit.

"I've told you but it bears repeating,
Baker's chocolate's not for eating.
Now tell me how it feels for cheating?"
Through tears, Lyra moaned: "...Bittersweet."

Queen's Lament [Dark] [Sad] [Poetry] [Changelings]

Will you still love me if I fail,
when all tides turn and face the pale?
If plans of mine are doomed to sour,
be made undone by friendship's power?
When changing face is not enough,
to feed you all with lover's bluff?
When brutal force we must require,
so we don't from hunger, expire.
So if a villain I must be,
how then will you all think of me?
To risk my and my people's lives,
in hope at least a few survives.
If all I've built comes crashin' down,
and I wear naught but ashen crown;
and every single subject's died,
will you still love me cause I tried?

Author's Note

Original Prompt: Ashen Crown
Poetry Contest