An "Evil" King

by Rathalos122

Rating: mature
Tags: Princess Luna, Fetish, Princess Celestia, Thorax, Ember, Pharynx, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Death
Length: 5096

Its Nightmare Night and Princess Luna is holding a royal costume party to celebrate the event. Among the guests are a certain pair of royal changelings, Thorax and Pharynx. Shenanigans ensure. [CW:Vore]

Its Nightmare Night and Princess Luna is holding a royal costume party to celebrate the event and various guests are invited. Among them are a certain pair of royal changelings, Thorax and Pharynx. Thorax had picked a rather peculiar costume, having transformed himself into a form inspired by the changeling's old looks and he had promised his brother to even act the way. He was a bit unsure about that part but had agreed anyway. Might as well give it a try, after all what could go wrong?

Content warnings: vore, soft digestion, unwilling pred, soul vore, soul digestion.

My entire to this month's vorepone artjam, with the theme "Halloween/Nightmare Night."
Thanks to Withania for proofreading.

Published 2019-10-24 23:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-10-24 23:40:01 UTC

An "Evil" King

An "Evil" King

Despite Princess Luna’s insistence that her Nightmare Night party should be a casual event, it ultimately turned into a full-blown royal event, taking up a whole wing of the royal castle. In a last effort to prevent the night from dissolving into yet another stuffy noble gathering, she ordered that every drink was to be alcoholic and everyone was to be in a costume. Furthermore, a few more interesting guests were invited to liven things up.

With a dramatic slam, Pharynx threw open the ballroom’s doors and marched inside. He was clad in heavy-looking red armor. It was of slightly futuristic design and obviously inspired by a certain book series. Despite being written by a pony, it was rather heavy with brutal combat and wars, instantly becoming a favorite of the changeling prince. Though his brother at least managed to convince him to leave the helmet and the weird chainsaw-sword-thing at the hive.

Thorax was following close behind Pharynx. The bug king didn’t wear a regular costume, instead opting to use his shapeshifting ability to transform into an unreformed version of himself. Thought instead of his old form, this one was based on his current royal self. Sure it had the black chitin, hole-filled legs, and large fangs as his past form but he still had his alicorn size. The same was true for the size of his horn and wings. His antlers were replaced by two sharp horns angling backward and the jewels on his chest smaller, yet of a sharper cut. All in all a good ‘evil’ look for Nightmare Night. If it just weren’t ruined as he timidly walked behind his brother.

Pharynx stopped and looked back at his brother with an annoyed expression. “Quit doing that, we had a deal. I want to see a conquering Changeling King menacing the pathetic ponies around them!”

Thorax rolled his eyes and straightened his posture. “You are getting a bit too much into this. But don’t worry, I’m... just getting used to this. Maybe we can find somepony to try it on.” His eyes scanned the room, taking in the rich decorations. The Ballroom’s entire ceiling was covered by one gigantic spider web, skulls and bones hung from every pillar. The tables lining the sides were filled with food and drink, amidst a variety of other themed ornaments. Countless ponies mingled with each other, from easy-going partygoers to nobles looking out of place in their costumes. Spotting a familiar face, the two changelings crossed the hall to where Dragon Lord Ember was loitering.

The dragoness in question had spent most of her time here wondering what to do with herself. She wasn’t exactly used to events like this. So seeing one of her friends was very welcome right now. “Thorax? Didn’t know you were here too. Almost didn’t recognise you. That disguise of yours looks awesome,” she said as she assessed the changeling king.

Thorax beamed happily at this praise. “Oh yes. I’m an evil changeling king.” At least the fangs helped to harden his dorky smile. Well, a bit. Still, this sight caused Ember to break into amused laughter. To Pharynx’s displeasure.

“Dragon lord, I presume? Your choice of costume is also… interesting.” Pharynx pointed at her. Ember’s costume consisted of a wooden sign hanging from her neck with To awesome for a costume written on it. “One does wonder why they let you in like this.”

At this point, Thorax’s gaze anxiously switched between the two others. Luckily Ember didn’t seem to care about Pharynx brash attitude and just ignored it “Oh yeah, one of the guards tried to stop me. But I offered to be his costume, and gave him a nice view down my throat, and then there seemed to be no issue anymore.. Also just call me Ember. After all, you must be Pharynx, Thorax often talks about you.”

“Only good I hope?” Pharynx replied, though he couldn’t keep a concerned tone out of his voice.

“Whenever he wasn’t busy complaining, yes.”

Thorax had chosen that moment to intervene “Glad you two finally met each other. But I still have some ponies to intimidate. Ember do you want to join us?”

For a moment, serious doubt was visible on the blue dragoness’ face. but eventually it lightened up “You know that’s a hard sell for you, but it should work on the ponies, I’m in.”

Pharynx grinned, “Then let’s find us some victims!”

***

“What do we have here? The so-called Princess of Friendship. How pathetic. Ehm sorry Twilight if that was too strong, I was just acting, you know!” Thorax exclaimed in a panic to the completely unfazed Alicorn. The sound of Pharynx hoof impacting with his face halled through the room.

“Interesting costume, Thorax.” Twilight took her costumes glasses off as she looked closer. “You translated everything to the unreformed form quite well. Thought I would have gone with slitted eyes like Chrysalis”

“I know, it just looks weird having your eyes not be a solid color. I tried but it’s just wrong.”

Suddenly a magical aura grabbed one of his horns and dragged him off, courtesy of Pharynx. “This was a failure, you definitely need some advice for monologuing before we can continue,” the changeling grumbled as he wandered near a secluded table. Taking note of the filled mug on it, he helped himself to one. Pharynx had a feeling he would need it sooner or later.

Ember did likewise and sat herself on the table. “So you really think a good monologue will scare people? I have my doubts.”

“Oh you will see, and I even know the perfect target for this.”

***

“Finally its time to reveal my true self and conquer Ponykind! Starting with you my dear princess. You will rue the day you took me in, it was just a ruse to prepare this very moment. Now, tremble in fear!” All in all it was a good monologue, maybe the dramatic gestures were overdone, but the speech itself got through in one go.

Sadly Cadance didn’t seem very scared, in fact, she appeared rather entertained. With a mischievous smile on her lips, she loosened the folds of her vampire dress a bit and with a quick tuck, two of her wing feathers were levitating in her magic. “So you say your time in the crystal empire was just a ruse? I doubt that, let’s test one of the things you told me in that time.”

Thorax tried to run, but it was too late. The feathers quickly flew under him and started brush over the place were his black chitin and the soft green flesh of his belly met. In an instant Thorax dropped onto the floor, laughing mad as Cadance kept up her tickling.

Though mercifully she stooped relatively soon, gave the out-of-breath Thorax a quick nuzzle and vanished back into the crowd.

Ember smirked at Pharynx. “The power of monologues, I see. And the perfect target.” Pharynx could only respond with a quit grumbling. “Good, then lets do this my way. You don’t need some kind of monologue if you have the right body, and right now our dear Thorax here looks big and scary enough to scare most ponies by merely walking up to them. Just probably not the alicorns, who all know him personally. That was totally the wrong target to choose.”

“Fine, let’s try this. But I need another drink first,” the changeling prince replied dejectedly and stomped off.

Ember nodded and looked at the bug still lying on the floor “You okay?”

“Y-yes, just give me a bit.” Thorax slowly got his breath back and climbed on his feet.

“Don’t worry, we’ll start with a simple, easy first mark to get you going.”

***

With a high pitched scream, Thorax jumped onto Ember’s arms, while Pharynx held his mug between him and the old stallion.

“Hrmph, what are you younguns doing? All I wanted to know is if you think it normal for my kneecaps to move like this” He attempted to bend one of his legs again but stopped once both changelings started hissing. “Pah, the rudeness of today’s youth.” With that, the old pony turned around and, slowly, trotted off.

The bugs still held on their agitation for a bit longer, till they finally calmed down. “Inner skeletons are creepy.” Pharynx said, ending the awkward silence.

Thorax nodded in agreement “Yeah, downright spooky.”

Ember still stood there in silence, holding a changing larger than herself in her arms. And with a tone as flat as the expression on her face said: “Now I need a drink.”

***

A few ponies later Ember and Pharynx watch Thorax and Fluttershy, who was wearing a bee costume, having a conversation about animals. “So this is what rock bottom looks like?”

Ember nodded “Pretty much, he just isn’t scary, I think it’s his personality. We might need a more claws-on approach.”

“Back to the drawing board?”

“If you meant the booze table, then yes.”

***

Pharynx slammed his mug down “You know what? Screw this, the next time a pony doesn’t show you proper respect just eat them.”

“What? WHY?” Thorax exclaimed in shock.

“To assume dominance of course.”

“I like that way of thinking, always works well for dragons.” Ember chimed in, also sporting a drink of her own.

“We are at a public party in Canterlot. It takes enough effort already to cover up the hive’s regular predation. And that is with Everling only doing it in secret. I have to be a good example for them, not the one that scarfs down a pony in public.”

In response Pharynx just waves a hoof through the air and grabbed another mug with the other. “Well right now you are supposed to a bad example, so it works out.”

Thorax let out a deep sigh, “I think you guys have had enough, you obviously lost your ability to think straight. If this continues you end up slurring and stumbling around and we will scare no one.”

“But wasn’t getting drunk the entire point of my little party? Yet you seem distressingly sober.” A slurred voice suddenly added to the conversation. One dragon and two changelings turned around to see Luna, in the guise of Nightmare Moon, approaching their table. She was also joined by her sister, who had dyed her mane and tail a pure white to create a ghostlike look for herself. Though they both weren’t exactly walking straight, and had lost their regalia at some point during the night.

“Thorax, this might be your chance. They are obviously weakened,” Pharynx hissed to his brother.

“Pah, another of your little attempts to be scary? Many of my guests are talking about how cute you were, so that got nowhere. So much for your idea to steal my costume idea and take my place.” Luna pointed one hoof accusingly at the Changeling king, to the obvious agitation of both Pharynx and Ember.

“What? That wasn’t at all-”

Yet Thorax protests were quickly cut off by Ember. “Don’t insult him, pony. What if he just decides to make a meal out of you as punishment?”

“Yeah eat her,” Pharynx added.

Thorax rolled his eyes but Luna responded before he could “Eat me? Thorax? I highly doubt that he is able to do that. Even if I would do this.” with that she suddenly shoved her muzzle into his mouth.

Taken quite off guard by this and tried pulling back, but to his dismay, the others had none of this. “Looks like we have a volunteer,” Pharynx yelled, rushed behind the princess and started shoving. Luna’s head pushed deeper into Thorax’s throat, only her large horn preventing it from descending deeper.

“Hrmph lets get that little thing out of the way, shall we?” Ember jumped onto Thorax back and reached over his head. After driving one of her claws around the horn a strong tuck was enough to break it cleanly off. But she didn’t waste much time admiring it, throwing it over her shoulder after just a short moment. “Don’t worry princess, you won’t need that were you are going.” Ember started pushing Thorax head forward and gave Pharynx an encouraging nod.

Thorax wasn’t exactly sure when everything got out of control, but here he was, the dragonlord riding on his back and his brother shoving one of the princesses down his throat. His eyes met Celestia’s, the only one who could possibly solve this situation. But instead of helping the mare was simply watching, casually sipping on a glass of wine and enjoying the show in front of her. To make matters worse it got harder and harder to resist gulping Luna down eagerly. Slowly but surely his instinct got the upper hoof upon feeling struggling, complaining prey in his throat. To be honest with himself making a meal out of the alicorn had always been a treasured fantasy of his, but he never intended for it to actually happen.

Luna was livid but couldn’t do much. green, luminescent flesh hugged her from all sides steadily pulsing whenever she was shoved deeper. Her head had already entered the bug’s stomach and her body followed close after, sliding into the pool of tingling green liquid lying inside of it. But as hard as she struggled and as loud as she complained, nothing slowed her descent down. Also, she felt somewhat hurt in her pride right now.

The reaction of the crowd of ponies around them was rather curious. Most of them were so inebriated that they didn’t give any form of attention to the public consumption of one of their princesses. They just thought it was some kind of Nightmare Night prank and went on with their party, although a few of them stayed to watch the ’show’.

With a slurp, Thorax pulled the rest of Luna’s hind hooves in and sent her down with a last gulp. To be honest with himself he quite enjoyed his meal, no matter how involuntary it was for him. Or what a headache it would be to cover this up, somehow. Here he was, green belly hanging heavily under him, shaking with Luna’s struggles. He could barely stand. And the crowd of ponies around him seemed to be cheering?

“See? I told you! Just eat someone and the rest will respect you. Now say something. Or taunt or something to pin your victory down!” Pharynx excitedly gesticulated in front of him.

Front his back, Ember’s voice intervened “No, too complicated. What you need now is a triumphant burp. Let it out and shake the room!”

A bit overwhelmed Thorax decided to go with Ember’s option and focussed. What followed was a small rather dainty burp. Wich, in turn, was followed by Celestia breaking out in roaring laughter. “Oh, sister so much for you showing our dear Thorax his place. Truly an awe-inspiring display. Don’t think I will ever let you live this down, sister.”

Pharynx gave the alicorn a look over his shoulder. “Watch your tongue or you are next.”

“Pharynx, please don’t.” Thorax chimed in with a dejected voice.

Celestia giggled at that, “Listen to your brother, prince. He probably can’t handle me anyway, after all, who has the mightiest rump in Equestria?” The drunk princess swung around, slamming her sizeable hindquarters into Pharynx, shoving him to the side.

Thorax took sight of what Celestia was presenting. “Yeah, that is indeed a lot. I don’t think I could-”

Though Ember and Pharynx weren’t really impressed. “Why should he decline more meat? You just made him hungrier,” the Dragoness said with crossed arms, still sitting on Thorax’s back.

A grumbling Pharynx picked himself up from the floor, his armor clanging loudly as he did so. “Exactly! Really nice of you to spend your life fattening yourself up, I bet all that will look really nice once it jiggles on his ass.”

“Guys, even if I wanted to eat her, that is a bit too much.”

“Well not with that attitude,” Ember and Pharynx replied in unison. Ember leaned forward, grabbed Thorax’s jaws and pried them wide open. Meanwhile, Pharynx heaved a giggling Celestia up. Thorax tried to struggle free, but once he saw his brother prepare to throw the princess he froze up. Taking this opening Pharynx slammed Her Royal Highness ass first into the changeling king’s maw. The impact was enough to send him sliding backward over the floor and Ember was blasted from his back. But ultimately it worked and a dazed Thorax had the upper body of an equally dazed Celestia sticking out of his maw. Most of the princess was already firmly inside of him, slammed right into his stomach onto a loudly complaining Luna.

But Thorax recovered relatively quickly and after taking a moment to glare at his brother he started to clear the obstruction in his throat. By swallowing the princess down all the way.

Celestia only slowly got back to her senses. All around her was warm flesh that pressed onto her and strong muscles rhythmically kneaded her body as she sank deeper and deeper into the bug. As heer vision clear she got only a short view of the ballroom, framed by Thorax’s maw before it slammed shut, his teeth severing her horn and a strong gulp sending her towards her destination.

Celestia ended up in a tight fleshy chamber. Green, glowing liquid dripped from the stomach wall around her, tingling wherever it touched her body. At least the floor under her was soft “Fancy meeting you here, sister. Would you mind GETTING OFF ME.” Luna’s voice nagged below her. Shifting around and looking downwards, Celestia came face to face with her sister, who was surrounded by a pool of the green liquid.

“No, you got eaten first so you will get the worse position.” That response didn’t go over unchallenged and with a scream Luna attacked.

Now Thorax belly was big enough that he no longer could stand. Instead, he was lying on his large princess-filled belly, easily bigger than himself. “You kno-” -buuurooooop- this time it was Thorax himself who cut him off, Celestia’s impact had stirred up quite a bit of air. A fact that the crowd and the two others commented with further cheering and applause. Thorax could hide a smile upon hearing this even if he tried to be sterner for the next sentence. “You know you two went too far. We will talk about it later and I will make sure you stay sober for the next party.”

“Hehe, I have my doubts, brother. You seem rather happy with today’s results.” Pharynx walked next to Thorax and started the caress the large gut, shaking with the struggle of the princesses inside. “And they will enjoy it too once they realize the pleasure of changeling digestion.”

The princesses went through quite a tumble but ultimately Luna was victorious, claiming the position on the top. Of course, it also resulted in both of them being throughout soaked with the stomach acids. It had already started to affect them, the tingling they felt at the beginning was replaced by a feeling of pleasure which steadily seemed to increase. There was something else Celestia noticed, with quite some concern, parts of her started to drip, it almost looked like parts of her body were flowing off. “Thorax? I think you made your point. You might want to release us now.”

Pharynx chuckled upon hearing this coming from the belly. And with an awkward expression on his face, Thorax addressed the princesses. “Uhmm, I’m afraid that won’t be possible, it was hard enough you two inside and with the way changeling throat muscles are built - well, it only goes one way. But don’t worry, you will enjoy melting inside of me, I promise ill do my best for you. You will see.”

Of course, the alicorns renewed their struggles. They pushed and punched, the effects of their fight clearly visible on the outside. But a changeling’s stomach was made to deal with unruly prey and this ended up being rather enjoyable for Thorax. He was getting a nice, firm internal massage. Thought Thorax being Thorax he decided to return the favor. His stomach walls started to compress and move, kneading down on the princesses and adding to the pleasure they were already in. Soon he had both of them moaning and delicious emotions started to fill his belly.

Ember looked at this in interest and joined Pharynx in tending to the gut. “So changeling digestion is pleasant?”

Pharynx nodded “Oh yes. But don’t think this is some kind of favor we are doing for them. We don’t care if they enjoy it, we just use it to claim all their emotions. Well, only the tasty ones off course.”

“Greedy, I like it.”

Thorax didn’t let this stand like this “But we do care if they enjoy it. I made sure that every pony I ever ate enjoyed it as much as possible. After all, why not share the pleasure? And I will certainly do the same with these two.” With a green flash, his belly turned transparent. Giving free, albeit green-tinted view of the melting mares inside.

“Uhhh, well that new. I guess you changelings are full of surprises.” Ember gazes at the princesses in fascination. Most of their body shapes are still there, but the corners smoothed out and their legs were dripping of right in front of her eyes. The goop landed in the green acid, slowly but surely coloring the liquid white on Celestia’s side and a deep blue on Luna’s. Ember couldn’t resist and prodded the belly further, actively trying to cause the ponies to fall apart even more.

While Pharynx approved of the sight too, he had a different idea. “Ponies! Gaze at your princesses, moaning and melting inside of the changeling king. Just a pair of gutsluts that finally found their place. This will be the fate of all that try and disrespect him!” he yelled, wildly gesturing with his hooves. Thought his impromptu speech hadn’t really the effect he hoped for. Most of the drunken crowd were busy with their own things and the few that did watch happy stomped applause clearly entertained by the ’show’.

But even this audience was enough to make Thorax uncomfortable. But he didn’t want to ruin this, especially after all that just happened so he tried to keep himself together. “W-Well, I guess im disolving your government. Uhm... pathetic ponies.”

“Hey, getting better at this” Ember nodded in approval but kept up her gut-rubbing.

Pharynx was totally sure “But they should be scared, not entertained.”

“Oh Pharynx, don’t worry about it. I like it when everycreature is happy. Especially my prey.” Thorax gazed down on his belly with a serene expression on his face.

“Oh yes, always good to see some ponies getting churned up.” Pharynx moves to Thorax’s other side and also started rubbing and massaging it.

Celestia was in heaven. Pleasure flowed over her softening body, the pushing claws and hooves gave her strong massage breaking her down even faster. Thought she was also getting a second, slower massage from the stomach itself, strong muscles contracted and pulsed over her, removing a layer of goop. This always exposed more of her to the acids, who eagerly got to work and rewarded her with even more pleasure. Through the transparent stomach walls she could see the ponies around her. Some watching her and cheering, but most of them just seemed to ignore what was going on. No one moved in to help her. Somehow this was pushing a button she didn’t even knew she had. She ruled for millennia but now all her subjects merely watched as she was digested by the changeling king as if they all knew and accepted that their princess was going to be nothing but nourishment for a superior being. And next to her her sister was enjoying the same fate, in fact their bodies slowly melted together.

Thorax let out a happy sigh. His gut groaned and sloshed, it had receded greatly, its contents at this point almost completely liquid. “Ohhh I think they’re almost finished.”

His stomach continued to churn them until Thorax let out a deep moan and a glowing light started to shine from his belly and it expanded again almost reaching its earlier side again. Ember raised one of her eye ridges at that and looked back into the gut. Besides the molten pool of princesses, there were now two new additions inside: two ghosts. Or at least something similar. Both were translucent, almost the size, the alicorn had and hat ghostlike lower bodies. One of them was a dark blue color, with an upper-body bearing Luna’s likeness while the other shone with golden light and looked like Celestia “Okay, I got nothing, what are those?”

Pharynx grinned “Oh that are their souls. I said a changeling can digest everything of a pony.” his mine fell somewhat “Thought a distressingly high number of changelings prefer to let them go or trap them in their body instead of properly digesting them. And I fear my dear brother belongs to that category too. So what is it gonna be Thorax?”

Thorax chuckled “Oh I always let them pick for themselves. It’s better that way. They should make up their mind soon.”

“Or they start making out instead.” Ember snickered at the sight in front of her. The two souls had hugged each other and were locked in a deep kiss, though they often broke it and switched to a series of smaller kisses. “As what kind of decision does that count?”

“Uh, no idea. Maybe I should just move them out myself.” Thorax’s horn ignited for a second, but nothing happened, expect a deep blush starting to spread on his face. “Oh, oh my that’s rare. They are refusing to leave my stomach. That means they have chosen the third option. I suppose you would call this a good turn of events Pharynx?” The changeling king closed his eyes for a moment and soon his stomach started grumbling again as it picked up its work.

“Good turn of events? THAT IS PERFECT. The alicorn sisters fully submitting to you. Willingly sacrificing their existence just to add a few more pounds to your flanks? This is better than anything I could have dreamed for tonight. I hope ponykind takes this as a shining example to follow.” It was rare to see Pharynx genuinely happy without bothering to put on a hard facade, but this just achieved that very thing.

“About that, I feel most ponies are too drunk right now to remember this night. And to be honest we might want to eat everyone that does remember it to prevent future problems.” Ember intervened upon looking at the mostly passed out crowd. “Ponies really don’t hold their liquor.”

Thorax nodded “I fear a coverup might be necessary. There are a few infiltrators in the city that could help with that.” His gaze shifted back to his belly “But first let me give the princess the most pleasant time of their lives.”

Celestia wasn’t entirely sure this was the right choice but it is the same one Luna picked, so at least they would experience it together. She possibility of letting herself be claimed totally and finally was just too tempting for her. And she got the feeling this would be even more pleasant than the earlier digestion had been. She was still interlocked in a kiss with Luna when it started. All through her, a deep feeling of bliss started to spread easily beating everything that came before in intensity. It was beautiful. She almost lost herself in it but managed to keep it together for now, after all, she wouldn’t want to neglect Luna. But within all this bliss she started to notice something, thinking got a bit harder for her and once she tried focussing it became clear why. More and more holes started to appear in her memory, a few of them minor things but at an increased pace more important information started to disappear. Looks like the little king was indeed busy annihilating her. Fine by her, as long as he kept the pleasure coming.

At this point, Thorax could no longer stop himself from loudly moaning. Pure power flooded his body, the kind that can only be extracted by destroying souls. It was ecstatic, his long, serpentine tongue lolled out and his wings buzzed in excitement. He really had to do this again, this felt amazing. Of course, he will try to get his prey to agree with it first, once he gave them a pleasant experience they probably all would agree to go all the way. And if it fails they will see things his way once he starts on their souls, at least the princesses were greatly enjoying their stay in the soul churning cauldron of his gut. Under Pharynx and Ember gaze the souls were steadily digesting, more and more of them breaking off to dissolve in the soup below them, also two glowing orbs were left at this point.

The soul did no longer know its own name. It only knew the pleasure that washed over it and the presence of the other next to it, going through the same process. They were becoming less and less, but that was just the way things are. The euphoria accompanying them was much more important. It still steadily increased, neverending and intense. Suddenly felt some kind of pressure building up but It understood and welcomed it. With audible cracks, it and its partner shattered a last pulse of bliss went through them as their innermost was shredded and dissolved. Nothing remained.

“Did he.. pass out?” Ember looked at the sleeping Thorax happily snoring as he laid on his belly bed. It was somewhat smaller now, but still full of sloshing love soup that his body was noisily absorbing.

“Well, I guess it was a stressful day for him. And he had a rather epic meal. He’s probably just tuckered out. Let him rest,” Pharynx responded with a shrug.

Ember nodded and let her gaze shift over the room, most ponies were lying on the floor and the table, pass out drunk, only a few were still shuffling around. “Shall we grab more booze and snack on a few defenseless ponies?”

"I thought you'd never ask. I'm starving."