Celly vs. Anons Parents

by Stardust Corona

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Profanity, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Anon, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 4557

Princess Celestia is trapped on earth and has taken shelter in Anons apartment, but now she has to face her greatest challenge yet: A visit from Anons parents!

Anon has a guest in his apartment. For a little over a year Princess Celestia, a magical alicorn from another world lives with him, zapped there by a failed spell. They get along well, but trouble is brewing when Anons crazy parents announce a visit on short notice. How will he explain the alicorn in the room?

Published 2019-11-02 14:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2019-11-02 14:10:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Its been a little over a year now.

One evening, as you were watching, TV there was suddenly a bright flash and a scared an confused looking Alicorn from another universe appeard in your living room.

Her name is Celestia and in her world she is one of the rulers, a nigh-immortal magical being of awesome beauty and power, wise and benelovent. She was blasted here by accident as she explaned to you, one day as she and her sister and co-ruler, as well as her protigee and her student tried a complex spell for traveling astral plains, a spell so complicated that only the most powerfull magicusers could perform it. Something went wrong and a thaumaturgic feedback hit her, catapulting her into our world.

The first weeks were hell for her, she was scared close to madness by this horrifying world full of barbaric ape-creatures, she warned you not to get too close to her while she hid in a corner of the living room, trying to magic herself back to her own world, almost untill collapsing by exhastion. She cried herself to sleep every night, worrying for "her little ponies" like a mother who has been robbed of her children.

One night she managed it to get at least a telepathic contact with her sister for a few minutes, it calmed her down much, since her sister, Luna, told her that all experienced magic users in her world were working tirelessly to bring her back. She broke down into a sobbing mess after that contact, because she feared the worst for the others working on the spell, but also for her people, "her little ponies" as she called them full of love and pride. Since that she had contact at least once a week with her sister, trying to keep in touch about the effords for her rescue and the business of ruling her domain. You try to keep her spirits up and she really appreciates it that you gave her shelter and that you try to make herself feel at home.

She is content, almost happy now, even thou you don´t know how much of it is just a royal facade (sometimes you think you can hear her cry at night). You keep her entertained with a showcase of your culture on Netflix and the internet. One night she explained to you her theory why she can´t return to her world on her own, even thou she is one of the most powerfull magic users in her world.

"A magic user can do simple spells all by him or herself, with the thaumaturgic energy his body creates, but powerfull spells, like the one to travel dimensions, need more energy than that, for that a magic user borrows little bits of energy from his enviroment, kind of like a magical version of a Genkidama." (she binge watched Dragonball Z the week before, she fucking loved it, suprisingly since she comes from a very peacefull world) "That is no problem in Equestria, where everything contains at least a little magic, but in this universe, well, no offence Anon, but this universe is amazingly unmagical. Extraordinary unmagical! There is billion times less thaumaturgic energy in this entire universe than in the most unmagical particles of dust in Equestria! There is nothing I could borrow energy from!"

She actually was afraid to use the rest room for the first few weeks as she had no idea how matter that is loaded with thaumaturgical energy would react with the unmagical matter of our universe once it is not shielded by the energy of her living soul anymore.

"But as my most fathfull student, my sister and all the others work so hard and tirelessly to get me back there is a real chance that I can return one day."

You saw that she was close to tearing up again when she said that but she was quickly hiding it behind a brave and beaming face.

"Well then, Anon! I want to see what will happen next on "Game of Thrones"! Can we continiue to watch it?"
That was a few months ago, in the last month you two grew closer and she opend up to you more and more to you. You actually begin to fear the day when she leaves.

Today.

You enter the living room and look at Celestia, who is lying on the couch and watches TV. She is the most stunningly beautiful being you ever saw. Even now at daylight you can see the glow of her etheral mane and tail and even the glow of her white coat. One night, when you returned home from late shift, you saw her glow in the dark of the living room, it kinda looked like there was one of those colour changing nightlights in the room (you pray that this is what everybody thinks who may see her glow in your apartment at night). She has gained a little weight since she arrived, she eats those cheap chocolate snack cakes all the time, as she does now. You kinda like the extra padding on her.

"Carefull with those, Celly. If the sun on your butt gets any bigger it may turn into a super nova."

As you two got closer you discoverd her playfull, humourfull, even a little mischievious side, the side that loves phranks, and banter, a side she only shows to those close to her, those she trusts. Thats why she grins at your rude joke and magics as pillow at your face.

"Anon! Thats no way to adress a princess!"

You bow down in a exaggurated matter.

"Oh, excuse me, you worshipfullness!"

She laughts her beautifull laughter, she is in a good mood today since she talked to her sister earlier today. Things are good at home, everything is peacefull and they are close to a breakthrough with the spell. The last part puts a knot into your stomache. You know that your time together may end soon. On one hand you will be happy for her to return to her people, on the other hand you know you will miss her like a piece of your body.

"Anon?"

She pulls you out of your somber thoughts.

"I really enjoy this new series I found! The main character is a bit silly, but somehow I can relate to him very much!"

This new series is Alf and its almost 30 years old.

"Do you think he will return to his people by the end?"

"Weeeeell..."

The phone is ringing. Whew, saved by the bell, you make a mental note that you must find a show to distract her from fucking Alf. The finale of the show will break her heart!

"Anon here?"

"Hey son, whats going on with you? You haven´t called us for over a year. Is everything okay?"

Oh shit. Its Dad-Anon.

"Oh hi Dad, sorry about that. I was very tangled up in work recently. You know how it goes."

I see. Your mother is worried, son. I am too. So we decidet that we will visit you and look how you are doing."

"Oh."

You stare at the beautiful, regal magical alicorn on your couch that looks back at you with a quizzical expression and you feel how all colour leaves your face.

"I don´t know if thats a good idea, Dad. I´m kinda busy and will probably have no time to be a good host to you and mom."

"Nonsense son, besides we are allready on our way, I´m calling from a truckstop."

You feel like your are dropped out of a plane without a parachute.

"Eh, what? Dad, you can´t just drop by here like that, My place is a mess, I need to clean up first!"

" Yeah, your mother though so, that why she wants to clean up your dump. Seems like we need to come to look after you. We´ll be there in about two hours."

Shit.

"Y..yeah. Okay. Love you guys. See you then. Bye".

You stare at Celestia, who looks back at you confused and you feel how anger, shock and terror have a battle royale in your stomache about who should make you throw up first.

"Well, fuck."

-"Whats wrong, Anon?"

You look at Celestia with a panicked expression.

"We´re on shit creek without a paddle. My parents, I told you about them? Dad-anon, the thuggish former sailor who thinks I´m a fag because I enjoy culture and didn´t step in his footsteps of starting barfights in every habour of the globe and Mom-Anon, the OCD borderline person who thinks I´m still 4 years old and needs to be nagged and pampered into submission? The people I moved three states away from as soon as I had the opportunity? They are coming. Now. We must hide you somewhere."

Celestia just smiles at you gently. Normally it doesn´t bother you when she does that but in the current situation it feels a bit patronizing.

"Oh Anon, don´t worry. I´m sure we´ll get along fine."
You snap at her

"FINE? FINE? Those people are crazy! And you are a magical horse from another dimension, how do you expect me to explain that to them?!?! We´ll be lucky if they call animal control when they see you!"

Celly looks a bit hurt.

"I´m sure we can talk reasonable..."

-"No. No you can´t talk reason to those people. Look, I´m sorry I just yelled at you. I need to think. And clean up the mess."

You spend the next two hours cleaning up the place as good as you can, your mind in robot mode, while Celly sits on the couch deep in thought. As you look out of the window you see your parents car driving onto the partking lot.

"Shit. they are here. Celly, hide somewhere!"

Celly looks at you calm.

"Anon, I have an idea, no time to explain, just work with me and don´t panic."

She gets up and trotts into your bathroom.

"What do you mean "Work with me"?! I..."

The doorbell rings.

You open the door and you parents enter. Dad-anon nudges your head.

"Well son, here we are. So this is your place? Looks better than I feared. At least you got rid of those chinese cartoon posters."

Mom-anon gives you a hug that could smother a bear.

"My poor baby, I missed you so much. All alone in this terrible city."

-"Mom, its okay, please, I´m an adult man."

-"Anon? Oh, You are here allready!"

You feel like you are going to have a stroke as you hear Celestias friendly, cheerfull voice behind you.

You slowly turn around. You need a moment to process what you see. In the doorway of the bathroom stands a beautifull, very tall woman, she is curvy, a bit on the chubby side, but all in the right places. Her skin is flawless and bronze tanned. Her hair is long and blond with an odd rainbowish shine on it. Her face has a regal shape with high cheekbones, her race is hard to determine, it seems that she has all of the best features of caucasian, african and asian women. In the middle of her forehead is a large beautymark. She wears a white bathrobe and looks like she just stepped out of the shower. Its Celestia? She has somehow transformed herself into a human, what the hell is she doing?

She just beams at you with a bright beautifull smile.

"I though I still had some time to make myself a little more... presentable for your parents. Hello Mr. and Mrs. Anon! I´m Tia, Tia Prince."

Dad-Anon gives you that stupid wide dad-grin fathers around the globe have when they proudly discover that their sons are not fags and are doing something that may lead to giving them grandsons.

"I see. Son, I´m dissapoint, why didn´t you tell us about your girlfriend?"

You don´t know if you like the direction this is going to...

Human Celly shakes the hands of both of your parents.

"Its such a pleasure to finally meet you two! Anon told me so much about you."

Dad-Anon still grins like a idiot, while Mom-Anon looks like a deer in the headlights.

"Oh, only the best I hope. Anon never told us anything about you Miss Prince."

Celly looks at you with played shock.

"Oh really Anon, now thats not very nice of you!"

She grins and gives you a wink.

"If you excuse me for a minute, I´ll just get dressed quickly."

You are still in shock and mumble: "Y..yeah. Why don´t you two wait in the living room, I have to talk to Tia for a minute."

Celly and you go into the bathroom, you close the door behind you.

"Well..? That wasn´t that bad...?"

She grins at you sheepishly as you can only stare at hear in a weird mix of irritation and confusion. Up close you see how massive she is. She is at least one and a half heads taller than you, which brings you in eyelevel with her plentifull bosom. She is even taller than your father, who is a very large man. Yet despite of her size all of her movements are incredibly elegant and gracefull. There are a million questions going through your head right now, but you can only utter:

"How...? What...? HOW?!?!?"

Tia twiddles her fingers.

"Weeeeell, I told you about the incident with the changelings a while ago, right? After that incident I studied their species, to learn how we could protect ourselves against this threat. I also studied their transformation magic, and how pony magic users could use it. Its simple, really. I could stay in this disguise for days, if not weeks if necessary."

You blink as you process it.

"You...you could do this all the time?!?!"

She scratches the back of her head

"This form? I first tried it a few weeks ago, when you were at work. It took me a while to figure out how to walk on my hindlegs. But now I´m quite safe in this form. Sorry that I didn´t tell you about this earlier, I wanted to suprise you, also..."

Suddely she get very serious and sadness is in her voice.

"Look, I know that my little ponies at home try absolutely everything in their power to bring me home. But fact is that we don´t know how long it will take. They could have a solution tomorrow. But it could also take a decade. A century. A millennium."

She swallows hard.

"Or never."

She looks you straight in the eye.

"I trust them with my life, but I´m not a delusional fool." I´m stuck here, possibly for a very long time. I need to blend in, I need to look human. I can´t stay in your apartment forever after all. That why I decided to test my human disguise right now with your parents. Yes, it was a risk, but it works! And a girlfriend is easier to explain than a "magical horse from another dimension", right?"

You still stare at her, now with a mix of awe and confusion.

"Jesus Christ, Celly. I don´t know if you are brilliant or just insane. Okay, I guess your clothes are part of the disguise? Magic into something simple. My parents like down to earth people."

You leave the bathroom and head into the lions den. Dad-anon grins at you. Mom-anon sits silently there and stares into space.

"My son. You lucky wanker. I can´t remember when I was THIS proud of you. How did a little loser like you score a stunner like her? She is way out of your league. She isn´t pregnant, right?"

"WHAT?!? NO! No, we... kinda met by accident. You can say she... she kinda dropped into my world! Ahahahah...hah."

Mom-anon speaks without stopping to stare into space.

"I don´t like that little hussy. She is not good for my little boy."

Dad-anon pats her shoulder.

"Now, now, honey. We talk with her first before you judge her, okay? Remember what Dr. Katzenberg said in therapy."

Its just in this moment that Tia enters the room. She wears simple kaki slacks, a sky blue T-shirt and a pair of simple moccasins. Her hair is tied into a loose pony tail (HAH!).

She sits down on the chair across the couch where your parents sit and beams at them with her trademark warm smile.

"Well, now. Here we are!"

Dad-anon loves her, you can tell. He grins at her like a idiot and eats out her hand as they chat. Mom-anon is what worries you. She has THAT look on her face. You remember it from the time when your older brother brought his girlfriend home. There is another woman that is taking her baby from her and she HATES it. She is a bomb about to explode. You know that Celly is a stateswoman, statesmare... whatever, with centuries of experience, she negociated with griffons, dragons and worse, but your mother? She a entirely different breed of monster, you wonder if Cellys diplomatic skills and eloquence will be enough for that.

Dad-anon just asks another of his questions, Tia has answerd all of them very skillfull so far. She is telling them the truth - from a certain point of view - without revealing too much. You admire her more and more.

"Well, Miss Prince"

-"Please, Dad-anon, call me Tia."

"Okay then, Tia. I hope you don´t mind the question, but what do you do for a living?"

Celly chuckles

"Well its kind of a gouvermential position, basically administrative work. the pay is good, so I´m quite well off."

Mom-anon stares at her angry.

"What do you want with my son then? If you are not some lousy little Gold Digger what do you want with him?"

Celly must have heard the hostility in her voice, but she chooses to ignore it. She puts down her cup of coffee and says calm and warm to your mother.

"Mrs. Anon. Your son is a wonderfull person. He was there for me, he supported me in one of the worst times in my life. For that I will be eternally grateful to him."

She looks at you with a warm and loving smile.

" I know a thing or two about people, in my profession its part of the job, and your son is one of the kindest souls I´ve ever met."

Mom-anon is silent and stares at her feet.

Celly smiles warmly

"Anyway, I´m really glad that I have to opportunity to meet the people that raised Anon to be the great person he is."

She lifts the cup, but acciently uses her magic, not her hand. Your parents stare at her with open mouths. She notices her mistake and quickly grabs the cup.

"Ho...how did you do that?"

You feel your heart stop. Luckily Celly is a quick thinker.

"That? Ah... That was just a little magic trick. My silly, little hobby ever since I was a little girl. You know, card tricks, floating and dissapering objects, stuff like that. Its a riot at office parties but nothing special, really."

Dad-anon laught out loud.

"You are full of suprised my dear! You really are talented. Have you ever thought of going to one of the talent shows on TV? You would blow them away! Can you show us some more of your tricks?"

"Oh, well. Sure! Why not?"

You silently curse.

"I just need a moment to prepare some tricks"

You get up.

"I´ll help you with that!"

You go into the bedroom. You look at Celly with the most angriest look you can do.

"Really? You are going to do magic infront of them?"

"I´m doing it all the time. Remember, this here is a magical disguise. Look, I know I fumbled there. Using magic is more natural to me for everyday tasks than using these."

She lifts up her hands.

"I do it without thinking and have to concentrate NOT to use it. However I have seen the nonsense that counts as magic in this world on TV. Ridiculus parlor tricks, that would bore an unicorn foal, amaze people here! Its all smoke and mirrors, there is nothing magical, REALLY magical about it. But I can imitate those tricks by using real magic. Just trust me here and work with me."

You just sigh and give up.

"All right then. A magic show. Just some stupid card tricks can´t hurt I guess. Are you sure you are up to it? After all you talked to your sister this morning, that always wears you out for a while, also there is this disguise..."

Celly smiles and shakes her head.

"Not really a problem, I had several hours after the contact to "recharge". The disguise spell, once deployed uses less than a half Thaum per hour, normally the methabolism of my body produces about 50 Megathaum per hour, but that was back in Equestria, where everything I eat and drink, even the air I breath is charged with magic. Here my body generates much less magical energy, still it should be more than enough."

(Note: Thaum is a unit to measure magical energy. 1 Thaum equals the magical energy necessary to levitate the mass of 1 kilogramm at a gravitation of 1g for one minute. )

Celly beams.

"All right Lets get ready for the show!"

A bright flash of light engulfs her

You facepalm as you see what she did.

"What? Isn´t that the appropriate outfit fo magicians in this world?"

She wears something like a playboy bunny outfit, with fishnets and a tophat. You suddenly reget that you let her read the Zantanna TPB last week.

"No. No, it isn´t. You don´t need to change your outfit, besides my parents will only wonder why you have THAT outfit ready at my place."

She flashes back and pouts

"Aw, I wanted to make it special."

Sometimes you wonder if she does that on purpose, just to fuck with you. You know that she has a very mischievious side. You sigh again and walk back to the living room.

"Please, don´t do anything too crazy. Just some stupid parlor tricks, so that we can get over with it."

You sit down with your parents.

"She is almost ready, she just has to gather some stuff she still has here from a party we had a while ago."

Just a few moments later Celly comes into the room with a box (that probably just magicd into existence) in her hands.

"I´m ready! Erm... Ladies and Gentlemen, get ready for the magic and illusions of the great Celestia!"

You cringe. She really just do that.

For almost 20 minutes she gives your parents the full show. Lame card tricks, levitating balls, dissapearing coins, complete with fumbled tricks and incredibly cheesy annoucements. You have to admidt, you are impressed by her intentionally bad performance.

"And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, for my grandé finale, I will tranform into a magical creature of myth and legend!"

All of the blood in your body instanly freezes to ice. Oh fuck!

"Abracadabra ALACAZAM!"

A blinding flash of light. Celestia stands in the middle of the room in all of her alicorn princess glory. She gives you a wink. You realize that she was fucking with you the whole time.

With a flash of light she turns back into a human.

"Well? how did you like it?"

Your parents jaws have crashed through the floor, all the way down into the basement. You pray to whatever higher power is in charge right now to kill you now, smite you with a lightning, just to end this situation.

"That... was AMAZING!!!!!"

Dad-anon had jumped up and claps. Mom-anon joins in, she fucking smiles? You wonder if you have been suddenly been beamed into another universe or if you have been taking crazy pills. Mom-anon smiles! This has got to be one of the most scariest things you have ever seen.

"How did you do that? that was one of the most amazing magic tricks I´ve ever seen!"

You are stunned. They think that was a trick. They experience real magic, but they think its a trick! Of course, Magic and magical horse princess creatures don´t exist for them, so it must be a trick, a very good trick! A fantastic, amazing trick! Celly leans over to you.

"Gotcha!"

You don´t know if you want to punch or hug her. Instead you start to laugh like a madman.

The hours pass and finally, FINALLY, your parents take their leave.

Dad-Anon grins at Celly.

"I´m really glad that we met you. You are a fine lady and as it seems you made a man out of my son."

He gives her a dirty wink, which Celly answers with a polite smile.

Mom-anon grabs Cellys hands.

"Take good care of my baby. No, I can feel that you will."

Dad-Anon smiles.

"Well, Tia, I guess that means that you can consider yourself a part of our family!"

"What an honour..." you think to yourself.

You say your goodbyes, promise that you call more often, and both of you wave at your parents as they drive off the parking lot, into the sunset.

Back in your apartment you go to the toilet and throw up.

Celly, now back in her Alicorn form. stands in the bathroom door and looks sheepishly.

"I overdid it, didn´t I?"

-"Oh you think?"

She puts on an apologetic smile.

"But, all in all, it did went pretty good! Your parents visit went smoothly, I know that my disguise works, and you have improved your relationship with your parents."

You want to respond but you realize she is right.

You sigh.

"Never drag me through something like this again. It worked out better than I expected, but I aged 20 years today. Yeah, you did good. That will do, horse, that will do."

She makes a happy whinny

"And all it took us was the magic of friendsh..."

You glare at her

"Don´t push it!"

Later that evening.

You sit together on the couch.

Celestia smiles at you.

"Anon, now that we know that my disguise works like a charm, I will go out there and look for some kind of job. I have been a burden to you for too long. If I´m stuck here, I might as well make the best out of it."

You give her a sarcastic smile.

"A job? Really? Slow down, your highness, if you really want to go out in your disguise, we should do it together for the first time. You are still new to this world. You only know stuff from TV and the internet and thats not really representative. I suggest we do something simple tomorrow. Like going to the supermarket or the shopping street downtown. Something like that, that you get a feeling for how to interact with humans. I mean with normal humans, not my parents."

She lets out a chuckle.

"All right Anon. Foal steps. I look forward to it. You know, if I have to be marooned in another universe, I´m happy to be marooned with you."

Fin
For now.